#background jonssy

[hargrove-mayfields]

Disabled Billy and Steve Week

Day 6- Relationships

My prompt- Carol and Steve: Friends to the End

-•-•-•-

It’s a Wednesday, which means Steve and Carol are having one of their weekly get-togethers.

This time, they’ve decided not to go out or do anything fancy, opting to just lay in Carol's room in a fort they made of every pillow, blanket, and stuffie they could find. They’re both in fuzzy pajamas, wearing skin care masks and gossiping like they’re still fourteen.

Carol surprises Steve by talking about themselves instead of somebody else for once, “Do you remember being little, and promising to get married if we weren’t already with somebody by the time we were fifteen?”

As if that would ever happen. Carol Maryanne Perkins is his best friend for life. Sure, a platonic marriage was possible, but Steve didn’t think two disabled people getting married for friendship would result in the best outcome. Leave it up to the shitty money stealing government to ruin a perfectly good thing.

Steve scrunches his nose up, trying to show in his face how he feels about the old idea.

Carol gets it, even when Steve doesn’t feel ready to use words. She laughs and rolls her eyes, “I know, right? We thought fifteen was like, totally grown up.”

It is actually kind of funny, that they’ve known each other for that long, since they were in diapers really, and have so many silly bets like that running. Steve smiles and holds her hand, now that her purple nail polish is dry and the action won’t make them both sticky and miserable.

Carol isn’t usually the type to dwell in the past, but she lingers on the subject of their childish view of love, “And now I’d be the bride, and you’d be the groom.”

It’s true, and Steve finds it somewhat amusing as well. Nobody expected there to be two trans kids in the middle of Hawkins fucking Indiana, and especially not for them to be popular best friends. Mixing up the narrative is what they do.

But Steve doesn’t get what Carol needs. He’s not the greatest at social cues and things, but he can tell there’s a reason Carol is being so reflective. He furrows his eyebrows and tips his head to one side, signaling his growing confusion.

Out of nowhere, Carol rips off the bandaid, and Steve’s heart with it, “I know you like Tommy, Stevie. I see it when you’re around him.”

Instant panic. Being in love with your best friend's fiancé is a big no. Ever since this dumb crush started, Steve has been terrified of Carol finding out and breaking off their years of friendship. All for one really funny, super sweet, freckle faced cutie.

Thankfully, Carol doesn’t react in the millions of horrible ways that Steve has imagined. She actually seems happy, “Hey, before you freak out, I’m open to sharing. I just want you to know right away I don’t feel that way about you. You’re my best friend, and that’s all.”

Steve nods happily. There’s no way he’d ever feel anything romantic for Carol. Their bond just isn’t like that. This friendship was written in the stars, as exactly that, just a friendship.

He makes a little scratching out motion with his hand, to show Carol he is not interested in that.

“Oh, right! You only like guys! Duh, why was I even nervous?” Carol laughs nervously, and Steve can detect the hint of annoyed sarcasm.

It’s not at him, it’s at herself; Carol thought Steve might still see her as a boy.

Steve feels sad for her, and opens his arms up for a hug. Touch isn’t his thing, it makes him uncomfortable usually, but he understands that kind of pain and wants to soothe it in his best friend.

Carol smiles softly, and clarifies before jumping into anything, “Are you sure, sweetie?”

Steve just nods and makes a grabby hand motion, inviting her into his arms.

“Alright, here goes nothing.” Carol declares, leaning forward and wrapping her arms around Steve, giggling when he taps and pats her shoulders, happy stimming all over the place.

Not that Steve really knows an appropriate amount of time to hug for, but he knows this one lasts a long time, and that fills his heart up with happiness.

He feels ready to speak to tell her, “I love you, CeCe.”

“And I love you Stevie.” Carol replies back, automatic but genuine.

“Let’s never ever stop being friends. Ever.” Steve hums, fiddling with his soft sleeves, an anxious stim.

He knows Carol will be by his side, but sometimes he needs to hear it repeated, when his rsd flares up and he gets bad thoughts in his head.

Carol gets rsd too, and paranoia, which used to lead to some explosive arguments when they were younger kids without control of their big big feelings. Nowadays, they feel safe asking for assurance, and giving hugs, or making promises. Whatever it takes to show their best friend love is true without causing a fight first.

“I wasn’t planning on it, babe. I’m gonna be here forever. Even when you steal my boyfriend.” Carol laughs softly, making sure to tack on the end, just in case, “That was a joke.”

Steve could tell, but he appreciates it anyways. Better safe than heartbroken.

Speaking of, he wants to tell some of what he’s been thinking about when it comes to this whole confession, “Tommy has a big heart. He’ll be able to share.”

“You do too, honey. That heart in your little chest is bigger than your hair, and that’s saying something.” Carol teases him.

Steve throws his hands up defensively, “You told me big hair was cool!”

Carol pokes his tummy, a playful action Steve gave her permission to do whenever the impulse strikes, “Well, it seemed like you thought as much when Billy Hargrove got a perm!”

“I’m allowed to have a crush on three guys at once!” Steve rolls his eyes, before realizing what he said, and cupping a hand over his mouth.

Too late. Carol is beyond interested. Eyebrow raised, and a smirk on her lips, she asks him, “Three? Who’s the other one?”

“Nope. That secret is guarded with my life.” Steve turns up his nose to act guarded, but it’s useless.

Carol pouts and makes puppy eyes like nobody’s ever seen, “Oh come on, bubba. I won’t tell anyone.”

Steve hesitantly starts to think about it, “You gotta promise.”

“Cross my heart, pumpkin.” Carol makes the action, totally sincere.

Steve breaks, “It’s Jonathan Byers.”

And Carol actually squeals, “Awwww! Stevie, that’s adorable!”

“He’s dating Chrissy now, so don’t bring it up ever again.” Steve warns, half stern and half fond.

“I said I wouldn’t and I meant it.” Carol twists her hair around her finger, acting innocent, though she of course advises, “Buuut I also know for a fact that Chrissy Cunningham hasn’t been in a strictly monogamous relationship since highschool, so don’t talk yourself out of anything yet.”

They both laugh about it. Steve will ask Tommy out, and then he’ll settle down for a little while. Sure, this relationship business is serious, but this is a journey that’s going to take a long time, and Steve is just starting it out. Having all those partners isn’t something he has to worry about yet.

Though, thinking about it in reflection, he does start to get a little worried.

“Carol?”

“Yes, baby?” She asks right away.

Steve rubs the fabric of his sweatshirt in between his fingers, “How many boyfriends is too many?”

“That’s not up to me, sugar plum. I only got one.” Carol shrugs.

“Fiancé.” Steve corrects because he has to, additionally feeling the need to point out, “And two girlfriends.”

“Duh. My heart has all the room for them, so I might as well. But I’m done. I feel complete now, and three people is good enough for me.”

Her explanation makes enough sense, but Steve just doesn’t know what to do with it.

He has way too much love in his heart to understand it really, and trying to add limits just makes him feel weird. Maybe it’s the autism. Maybe he’s truly as freaky as everyone says.

“Wrong answer Carol. Didn’t you know I’m a sexless, unfeeling being?”

Carol doesn’t humor that kind of thinking for a second. She holds his hands, and looks him dead in the face, “Sweetie, your feelings are real, even if they show themselves a little differently. Loud hands and humming are your butterflies in the tummy.”

“Wait, you mean you can tell when I have a crush?” Steve realizes with a strange feeling.

“Sort of. But I’m a people reader, I notice everything.” Carol exaggerated.

A smile spreads on Steve’s face with a joke, “I get what people mean when they say neurodivergence is a super power.”

Carol fake gags at his joke, “Ugh, gross.”

Yeah, it is. Steve giggles, “I know!”

Maybe, Steve realizes from all of this, the best answer is that nobody needs to define him. He can do things his own way, be that friendship or falling in love, and he’ll be just fine, as long as he has his CeCe and his Tommy.

~~~~~

Alternate forms of communication can be ostracized, ignored, and discriminated against. That’s why today I’ve chosen to represent the I-ASC, or The International Association for Spelling as Communication.

I-ASC works for and with neurodivergent, nonspeaking communities to support all methods of AAC, but focuses on spelling and typing to communicate. Their approach is based in research and in working with disabled individuals and their families to find what is best for them.

Not only do they have a library of resources, they also offer training and lessons for both the nonspeaking individual and their family. I really like that the I-ASC takes the time to ensure that the disabled person understands and can utilize the method they are given rather than just choosing it for them and leaving it at that.

Personal stories from “spellers” who were helped by I-ASC talk about how they provided a community to the nonspeaking folks, and helped them feel less alone. So not only are they advocating for the human right of communication, but they are also becoming involved in our community and assisting in personalized ways.

Donations will help any nonspeaking individual access the programs and fund their education. They have an FAQ section on the website under the “Give” section where they detail ways to donate.

If any of this interests you, I’m providing a link to the site right here.