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canary3d-obsessed · 4 years

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Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 06 (first part)

(Masterpost)(Episode 05)

Warning: This contains spoilers for All 50 Episodes

Bad Boys Bad Boys What You Gonna Do

Nie Huasang’s brought his nuts, and someone’s brought wine, so the boys are drinking in Wei Wuxian’s guest house. Finally he gets to drink some of the Emperor’s Smile wine that he’s been doing all those product placements for.

Boys, get a bowl or something for your shells, were you raised in a barn?

Wei Wuxian hits on waxes poetic about the wine, and Jiang Cheng tells him to shut up.

Wang Zhuocheng’s raw-fish-eating face may have failed him, but his drunk faces do not disappoint.

Wei Wuxian teases Jiang Cheng about his list of standards for a chick: She should have natural beauty, be virtuous and caring, from a good family, not too talkative, with a gentle voice, and not too capable. Also she should not spend too much money. Drunken running ensues.

Cue Maple Leaf Rag by Scott Joplin

(more behind the cut)

Much of the fandom has decided this list is a good fit for Nie Huaisang himself, and it sorta is. But he is both talkative and unvirtuous, what with all the current sneakiness, and all the eventual murders.

This also definitely doesn't fit Wen Qing because she's capable as hell.

This list is, however, a 100% a match for Jiang Yanli. Not in a weird, Jin Guangyao way--a lot of men want to marry a woman like their sister. In a gender-divided and generation-divided society, a man’s sister might be the only woman he’s ever known well. Jiang Cheng adores Yanli and she’s his ideal model of a woman, as opposed to his mother, who...isnt.

All these robes and talismans over the door do nothing to stop Lan Wangji from strolling in.

Okay so - Lan Wangji is the senior disciple of the Lan Clan, yea? There is no way that patrolling the guest area is in any way his job. He is just walking around here at night specifically to see what Wei Wuxian is doing.

I already did a gifpost of the boys and their totally nonsexual horseplay, over here. I’ll just add, for sad factor, that Jiang Cheng is play-choking Wei Wuxian when they’re all on the bed, and later in the running-and-crying episode he is gonna for-real choke him. Foreshadowing! or maybe just coincidence!

One fun thread running through the young-cultivators episodes is that Nie Huaisang is legit terrified of Lan Wangji while also having a major aesthetic crush on him. Look at how flustered he is here, trying to act sober while also checking him out.

Lan Wangji is shocked and visibly upset - what are you guys doing? This is not his busting face, this is, for a moment, his vulnerable and disillusioned face. He is super not used to what normal people are like.

Wei Wuxian doesn't lie or otherwise try to get off the hook, which has got to have Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang grinding their teeth in frustration. He invites Lan Wangji to join them for a drink. LWJ cites a the “no drinking on campus” rule and WWX tries to convince him to chill.

Then we have this lovely coordinated faint by the boys, to get out of going to get punished. Nie Huaisang has been practicing fainting in front of a mirror just in case he ever needs a skill like that in the future.

Wei Wuxian keeps trying to turn this into a date. Eventually Lan Wangji is so upset he admits he can’t take all three of them by himself.

Then the boys run away fake-barfing and Wei Wuxian hits Lan Wangji with a talisman.

Steal His Agency That’s What You’re Gonna Do

What Wei Wuxian does to Lan Wanji here is definitely wrong. But it's not entirely a disaster. It allows some crucial information to be shared between them, and it results in Wei Wuxian getting the utter shit beat out of him and never doing this again. I mean, he continues to mind-control his enemies and their eventual corpses, but he doesn't intentionally violate a friend or ally's autonomy in the future. Uhh not counting that whole golden core surgery-without-consent situation. And probably some other situations I’ve forgotten. He improves slightly, okay?

It’s important to note, incidentally, that the Lan rules about drinking and other “vices” should not be viewed through a Christian lens. The Lans are neither puritans nor ascetics (look at their clothes, furniture, and jewelry, for starters). Being drunk is forbidden probably because it’s a loss of self-control.

Speaking of self-control, mad props to Wang Yibo for being able to have zero physical reaction to fingers snapping in his face.

Drunk Lan Wangji

Under duress, Lan Wangji knocks back a cup of wine and promptly passes most of the way out.

Wei Wuxian puts Lan Wangji into bed not unkindly, but pretty much like a sack of potatoes. Compare this to how tenderly he handles Lan Wangji the next time he’s drunk.

WWX tells LWJ to call him Wei Gege, and giggles. Is this a term of endearment in this context? So far the various boys are calling each other -xiong, not -ge or gege. In Western media, men calling each other “bro” is basically saying “no homo,” but brotherhood and sisterhood in C-Drama is often a way of indicating stronger love than friendship, without saying whether it's sexual or not.

They finally start to have a conversation, and when Lan Wangji explains that no-one can touch his headband except, etc etc, Wei Wuxian stops trying to touch it. So at least he's not a handsy bastard in addition to all his other faults.

Wei Wuxian tells Lan Wangji that his clan is boring and women won't want to marry him. Lan Wangji says that's fine. On one level this is the show acknowledging that he's gay, but I think he's responding in a gender-neutral way; he doesn't want to marry anyone. Marriage, from his perspective, is the literal worst.

We don't know how he felt about his father, but he definitely loved his mother deeply, and she had a profoundly unhappy marriage, in which her husband did not provide companionship and her children were taken from her.

A note about all that: The dynamics of heterosexual marriages in The Untamed are not based on contemporary companionate marriage. Sex and reproduction is a wife's job in this world, and giving a gentry woman the option to choose her husband is radical. Wei Wuxian is the only one who dares say that Jiang Yanli should have a choice when Jin Guangshan casually tries to give her to his son in front of everyone.

OP made this today but will totally reuse it when episode 23 rolls around

So Lan Wangji’s parents' marriage was extremely problematic but not necessarily for the reasons it would be in contemporary terms. Having signed on to marry Lan Dad, Mom would have expected to live together and get laid regularly (important for health, in some traditional views, regardless of love/no love) and to have the company of her children. Instead, she was isolated. Lan Dad wanted to have it both ways and so even though he loved her and apparently hooked up with her sometimes, he didn't do his duty by her. She didn't love him but she did her duty.

Wei Wuxian continues to not get it, calling Lan Wangji dull and babbling about Lan Wangji’s parents until he realizes that LWJ is an orphan like him.

A nice shift happens here. Once the penny drops, Wei Wuxian doesn't ask a single additional question - he just sees - by reading Lan Wangji’s face - what the deal is, and shares his own story to show he understands.

This is the first time Wei Wuxian mentions being chased by dogs, which is kind of a big deal, because why was he left all alone when his parents died?

Why didn't anyone take him in before Jiang Fengmian found him? How isolated are independent cultivators in this world?

Tea Time

Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen are having tea, and the Lan Clan is so uptight they don't touch each other's teacups. I don't know what this thing is called so I'm going to call it a tea speculum.

Lan Qiren is back from the cultivation conference and says the red crack plague is happening over in Qinghe where the Nie clan lives. Lan Xichen fills him in on the water demon, specifically saying Wei Wuxian figured out the connection to the red crack dudes, and explaining who WWX is, as if Lan QIren hadn't already thrown stuff at him and threatened to eventually kill him.

Fun fact that I just noticed this week so didn't make it into earlier posts: In Episode 46, when Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian are in the Jiang ancestral hall, WWX says he was often punished to kneel there, and LWJ said that they heard about this in Gusu.

So when WWX came to Gusu he already had a reputation as a troublemaker, and the Lan brothers were aware of it.

Busted and Beaten

A Lan snitch comes in to say that Wei Wuxian has successfully corrupted Lan Wangji, which really shouldn’t cause as much surprise as it does.

“Wei Wuxian got drunk”

“Lan Wangji got drunk”

Lan Xichen takes a moment to consider carefully whether Wei Wuxian is a good friend for his little brother and whether perhaps he was too hasty in throwing them together. Ha ha ha no he doesn’t.

On the punishment porch, Lan Xichen tries to lecture Lan Wangji in a calm way, but Lan Qiren wants to beat him and Lan Wangji wants to get beat. Wei Wuxian can’t understand why Lan Wangji doesn’t let him take the blame for the drinking.

Lan Qiren goes way the fuck overboard with this punishment because he's angry--losing control and losing his sense of proportion--and Lan Xichen is shocked. The drone camera watching from above is also shocked.

Lan Qiren has a few (very few) redeeming qualities, but his extreme rigidity and chronic resentment of anyone he perceives as bad are serious problems. His nephews are both struggling with complex moral quandaries as they get older, and he is absolutely no help to them in resolving their conflicts.

This is definitely...a style of parenting & teaching, but you can see how poorly it works, with Lan Wangji straight up saying “fuck it” after many years of conformity. Lan Xichen is devoted to the middle path and tries to be obedient. But he is actually not walking anywhere near the middle path, as he gets pulled into colluding with a murderer at the same time as getting dragged onto his brother’s carnival ride. These men need parenting that isn’t so, uh, fucking stupid. (Yes, grown adults still need good parenting; watch Go Ahead if you doubt me)

Wei Wuxian initially yells and falls down when he gets hit, but then he sees Lan Wangji is taking the beating without any reaction and he tries to do the same.

Aftermath

Jiang Yanli gently lectures the boys, blaming Jiang Cheng for Wei Wuxian's drinking. Jesus Christ, he's the younger sibling, could you just NOT, Yanli?

Both boys ask Yanli not to tell their parents. The boys bicker about who's at fault and then Wei Wuxian shifts to baby voice and starts whining to Yanli about the pain.

Yanli tells him to suck it up, and says after school she'll -- ok and I know this will be a surprise for everyone -- make soup for them. The boys immediately get back on the same team, which is team Please Put Meat In the Soup.

There's a nice character building moment for Wei Wuxian here. When he sees Lan Xichen he initially turns away to avoid running into him, but then he adults-up and goes to face him and greet him, giving him a half of a bow because of the pain, the pain. Rather than complaining about his punishment he meekly asks if he's broken another rule.

Lan Xichen tells him that he did wrong but that Lan Qiren’s punishment was too harsh, and then in what is one of my favorite Lan Xichen moments, invites Wei Wuxian to use the cold spring to heal, but doesn't invite Jiang Cheng to go with him even though Jiang Cheng also was beaten. Lan Xichen, Matchmaker Auntie Extraordinaire.

Then he answers Wei Wuxian’s question about his mom by saying she was just like Wei Wuxian and drove Lan Qiran up the wall. Jiang Cheng's reaction to that is really sweet. He does enjoy Wei Wuxian at the same time as being constantly irritated by him.

Lan Xichen does his patented “breaking off in the middle of saying something and leaving out a chunk of the story” maneuver, although this time he doesn't include a flute solo.

OP is mildly obsessed with Xuan Lu’s shoulders in this outfit. Also Yanli has an interesting sword, that's got some wood carving similar to Subian, but without the organic look, which OP only noticed because of screen capping Xuan Lu’s shoulders.

Club Ruohan

Wen Qing continues to be pretty and slightly evil at this stage, sending magic fire notes to her boss using this talisman that is definitely floating in the air and not just hanging from a string.

Wen Ruohan is in the mosh pit with his zombie groupies while he reads Wen Qing’s extremely vague status update and says "it all makes sense."

Reach out and touch faith

Soundtrack

Maple Leaf Rag by Scott Joplin Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode

Writing Prompt

How did Wei Wuxian’s parents die?

Admin Notes

I’m going to start spacing out my “first part” and “second part” posts by a few days. I’ll update this post to link up the second part once I post it, and my masterpost is always up to date.

Also: if you want more of my original content but don’t want to follow my whole blog (not following is fine!), I keep a pinboard of fun stuff at the top of my blog. I try to post original content at least once a week.

Continued in the second part later this week!

#fytheuntamed #wangxian #the untamed #cql #the untamed gifs #the untamed meta #my gifs #restless rewatch the untamed #restless rewatch #canary3d #the untamed spoilers

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secretkingdomjellyfish · 4 years

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Another day, another penny...

Here we are again. Life has become even harder with COVID doing the rounds and offing every poor sod and his granny. I actually thought I had already witnessed or experienced the worst of what humanity had to offer but no, life and society continued to surprise me. From the hypocritical ‘clap for our carers’ movement (The same people who clapped where the same people in the supermarket the next day sneezing on your eyeballs - two meter rule, people!!) to our world leaders and celebrities telling the world ‘we are all in it together’ whilst they lounged in their 20 room mansions. It was all a bit...shallow. Every month is like opening the world’s shittiest advent calender only rather than getting a nice little piece of chocolate behind each window, we get some new unseen horror unleashed on us.

Then came the BLM riots. Another black man was killed by corrupt cops who gave absolutely zero fucks about him or anyone else. People were, entirely and justifiably, angry and the protests began but then something else happened. I had already seen this phenomenon slowly creeping it’s way in with COVID making the rounds but I just put it down to me being bitter and angry at life, therefore my perception of people (I had already set the bar WAAAAAY low) was skewed.

I saw people take advantage of an entire society’s grief. I saw the vultures circle to loot and hate or to share their idiologies of hate and pain and recruit more angry, tired teenagers to do their twisted bidding.

I saw both extremes of the coin take advantage of the situation to spread that same hate and lash out at the other side. ‘Don’t look at us, look at what the other side are doing!’ I heard them cry. ‘The people protesting are just violent thugs, look at them causing all this damage, how else are the police meant to act?!’. ‘It’s not us, we are just so tired of the police taking advantage of us and I REALLY need these new Nikes’.

But then there were the people in the middle. The people who just wanted real change. The people who just wanted the hate, the pain and the injustice to stop. Those people marched and protested and wanted their voices heard. Who were seeing what I and many others were seeing and wanted to restore the balance. Unfortunately they were quickly drowned out by the screeching of the two extremes and it became a game of ‘who could sling the most mud to deflect from their own actions’.

To say I’m sickened is an understatement. I’m embarrassed and I’m ashamed. I’m ashamed to even call myself a human being. My heart is utterly breaking at how broken we really are, how much trauma has been ignored and how easily we are influenced by shiny, new things. How the media continually drives us, like the herd animals we are, to consume, to buy, to hate others that are different to us. To make us think that our little tribe, family, race are the best and everyone else is wrong.

Do me a favour. Find a story. Any major story and then go read/watch/listen to several different news outlets (on both sides of the coin - you know who they are) and see how they report it. I can assure you, it will be like watching a different story altogether. Don’t get me wrong, they all have the very basic facts but they simply cater to their audience. No wonder people think they are right, they are surrounded by others who think the same way. They feel a kinship in a really scary world. The leaders (not the real movements, not the real game changers) take with one had and point with the other.

Plato had it right with his cave anology. Those shadows that the people can see are just that. Shadows. Boogymen. Nothing more than smoke and mirrors. I get that the world is scary, I get that we don’t understand even a fraction of how the world works and I understand so SO well that it feels good to find others who think the same way as you and even if you ‘see the light’ and see the world for what it really is, there are few who will listen to you. Most of us took the blue pill because the truth is just too painful to bear.

However, a new pattern has emerged here. A much more dangerous way of thinking. We just don’t allow ourselves to be wrong, it physically hurts! Everything we do is so emotional today. Everyone just wants to think emotionally rather than taking all of three seconds to think about something logically and rationally.

Society is full of adult toddlers who have a tantrum when they are challenged. Rather than giving them our time, we should be giving them a sippy cup with chocolate milk and a nap. I get it, it feels bloody good to scream and be angry. To blame someone other than yourself or your leaders for the life you have lived. All those missed chances? Not your fault, not your parents or your leaders fault. It was those pesky (insert blameless minority here)

Now I can already hear many of you shouting ‘I hear you lamenting but I don’t hear you coming up with any answers’ but the solution is simple. The implementation is incredibly complex and difficult and (unfortunately I believe it is also impossible but I’m praying I’m wrong) will require everyone to do their part but the answer is so SO simple. Equality.

I don’t mean the bullshit ‘everyone should be treated the same’ that’s not equality. I’m saying EVERYONE should be given the same chances regardless of their race, gender, sexuality, sex, wealth. Instead, the world is incredibly unbalanced and unequal and I have strong feeling that mother nature is about to shift it back into balance because she is a bad bitch who is fed up with us just taking but not giving back.

In my teens I went through a phase (I can hear the sniggering in the back). I found wicca (I can now hear louder sniggering). Now this phase lasted about 6 months and generally involved me wearing a lot of black, buying some coloured candles and generally trying out some cool spells because I could now do motherfucking magic biatches! But, soon enough, it fissled out and I got bored and moved onto something else (mainly the grunge scene - they, just, like...got me, you know?). But, I took one of my very core beliefs away from it. As at the heart of this beautiful religion it was all about balance. Whatever you took, you had to give back and EVERYTHING came back threefold - you had pay the dammed ferryman (you always have to pay eventually and not always in the ways you expect) . So, you sent out good vibes? You got those good vibes magnified right back atcha! Kind of a witchy butterfly effect.

Furthermore (check me out with the academic phrasing..eh? eh?!) many of followers of Wicca believed that their main deity was simply like a multi faceted diamond with many faces and each aspect simply reflected a different religion, deity or belief system and that she was always with them no matter what deity they believed in. (disclaimer - It’s been a long time since I was involved in this so if I’m wrong, please accept my deepest and most sincere apologies) but, again, it kinda made sense to me at the time (and still does). When I first started, it was new, it was different and it gave me purpose but then the glamor kinda got scraped off and I actually had to do some hard work and, being a teenager, I was just not into that.

Now I know many of you are asking ‘what the hell has this got to do with the price of cheese’ but bear with me because the answer is, again, relatively simple.

It’s all about balance. We have taken but not given back for so long. As a society we think that being successful is hoarding as much wealth as possible, drinking champagne and eating caviar whenever we feel like it, occasionally giving a few quid to charity to show that ‘we’re in this together’ because that is what the media have us believe. That it’s the ULTIMATE goal to have your own private jet and generally just whittle your life away doing nothing but pamper yourself.

We think the only way to achieve this is to take it by force. To be ruthless and cutthroat and step on as many heads as we can to get to the top, right?! That’s always been the way it was done!

However, that might have worked for a while but, as a society we have kinda went full circle and are right back at the start - openly rejecting facts and evidence for emotion (well it feels better to believe in x therefore it must be x) and anecdotal evidence (if you crack an egg at the fulll moon whilst hopping on one foot, you will totally get rid of that cancer - it totally worked for a friend of a friend so it must be true).

Right now the world is a giant carnival game and we all know those carnival games are rigged as shit. Step right up, Steeeep right up! Come along, try your luck! Why you look like an amazingly (add appropriate adjective here) individual, I bet YOU could win - not like any of these other chumps. The whole thing is rigged in favour of the wealthy and powerful and, in all honesty, I completely understand. It’s in our very nature.

It’s been so insidiuous and we have been bombarded so much with this message that we now have an entire generation of very broken and exhausted individuals who think that surviving and living are the same thing. News flash. They’re not.

This is why we are in the situation we are in. We have simply been sleep walking and ignoring what is right in front of us. In order to move on, we need to accept some really hard truth and take a long, good look at who we are as both individuals and as a society. Honestly? I don’t think we are ready for that yet the other two options are to continue the way we are going and let mother nature do her thing or simply destroy ourselves in the process. We are quickly running out of options and I REALLY don’t want to be the guy who said ‘I told you so’.

Now before anyone starts with the whole ‘you’re so wrong because (insert appropriate defense here) just stop and think for three seconds. Let that knee jerk reaction go and give it time to sink in. Even read it again if you have the attention span to do so and then think. Is he really wrong? Maybe the truth just hurts.

TL;DR - society is really broken and there’s no easy fix.

#wtf #covid #blm #hardchoice #depression #anxiety #currentaffairs

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rckyclrk · 5 years

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alex turner. 27. cismale. he/him. the black keys | i can’t believe i just saw RICKY CLARK walking out of cadence records. they’re the VOCALIST / BASSIST from the PUNK group HEATSTROKE who have been in the industry for THREE YEARS. the tabloids love to focus on their COLDHEARTED nature , but they’re also pretty CHARISMATIC and they seem to give off a vibe that reminds people of FRIENDS HOLDING YOU BACK FROM BAR FIGHTS, CUNNING SMIRKS, CRYING FROM RAGE WHEN YOU’RE ALONE.

hello !!! i’m jess, i’m 22, reside in the bst timezone and use she/they pronouns !! i literally only found this rp like two hours before it opened for plotting so excuse me if this intro seems a bit rushed, and i apologize for how late it is. this is the first of my muses, king asshole ricky clark. he’s a damaged angsty boi and i hate / love him. please like this if you’d like to plot, or slide into my IMs!

p.s. we can also plot on discord @ aries baby#7087 and you can check out a pinterest board for ricky here!

trigger warnings: heart disease, loss of a parent, ‘daddy issues’, abandonment, drugs & alcohol mentions, violence implication

BACKGROUND

ricky was born to dirt-poor parents in upstate new york. they had pretty much nothing but the basic necessities but it was v much a “they had each other and that was enough” kinda thing

his mother was his hero, ricky idolized her as she would do anything for him & was a kind, honest woman with a good heart who put every penny she earned into trying to give ricky a good life.

but his dad? quite the opposite. he was a distant, aggressive man with violent tendencies. whenever he was home, he was causing conflict. but most of the time, he wasn’t. it was pretty obvious that he was cheating on ricky’s mom, as well as just generally giving zero shits about his son. he was just an all-around asshole.

his mom was a waitress. she worked very few shifts as she wanted to make sure she could spend a lot of time around her son making sure he had a good upbringing.

when ricky was eleven, she suddenly fell ill with heart disease and her condition deteriorated very quickly. she could no longer work and decided to turn to music as a way of coping, learning to play guitar to keep her spirits up. ricky always took an interest in this and loved listening to her play him his favorite songs in the final years of her life

she ended up passing away before she could see ricky enter his teenage years. in their shared grief he and his father bonded and had a better relationship for a short period, before long he was back to his old tricks again never coming home & ricky had to basically raise himself for a little while, before finally he ended up in the foster care system for the remainder of his teen years

this is where he taught himself how to play the bass guitar his mom had left behind for him, as well as singing and songwriting. he quickly realized why she found such escapism in music.

he was a bit of a ‘bad boy’ archetype at school, who was constantly getting into fights etc but would show a softer side to the other outcast kids, especially the other musicians

foster care is also where he manifested a lot of resentment, anger & hostility after everything he had gone through. he kinda felt like life had dealt him such a shitty hand, and he had so many abandonment issues due to his father’s ways. he struggled to bond with any of his foster families and basically hopped around homes for years, still mourning his mom & acting out as a coping mechanism

so pretty much the second he turned eighteen and could leave foster care he got the hell out of town and headed downstate to new york city with pretty much nothing to his name, telling himself he was off to pursuit a career as a solo musician. he wandered around a bit, going about his life as somewhat of a vagabond living out of cheap motels whilst he struggled to settle.

after a few years spent working shitty 9-5 jobs and almost ending up homeless multiple times, he figured it was time to admit defeat and head back home, as his dreams of becoming a musician hadn’t really took off. he returned to his hometown & found that an old classmate from high school had been advertising around town, for a bassist for his band. it seemed like the perfect opportunity, and ricky jumped on board.

before he could even process it, the band were moving to LA to chase their dreams of making it big. after performing in bars & underground venues, they landed themselves a record deal with cadence

ricky LOVES the fame. he’s finally getting the love, adoration & attention he lacked in his life after his mom died. he’s living the rockstar lifestyle, having fun, and doing whatever he can to feel fulfilled and numb the pain and lasting scars left by his past — which by the way, he’d rather die than open up about.

PERSONALITY

so as is mentioned, the whole thing with his past has made him grow extremely resentful as a person and he has a lot of pent up issues that he bottles up. this makes him extremely stand-offish, short fused, arrogant etc? but the better someone gets to know him the more they’ll see a softer side to him. he’s a complex, multi-dimensional and very guarded person

he’s FIERCELY loyal and will protect his friends at all costs ( yes surprisingly he does have friends ) he’s prepared to fight someone if they’ve done something to hurt his friends

hes a really social guy despite the fact he can be quite intimidating. if you’re not on his bad side he’ll be completely fine with you, like? the main thing that’d get someone onto his bad side would be if they just assumed he was an asshole based on his initial demeanor, without getting to know him

Closed Off Emotionally™ - he basically put up a huge wall so that nobody can see how much the abandonment from his past has got to him but there’s definitely a kinder, damaged boy beneath who just needs time tbh

he lives his life pretty carelessly bc he kinda cant resist the whole idea of a rockstar lifestyle. very reckless i know but can you blame him? the issues of his past are still very much there so he tries to numb the pain in any way he can by drinking and taking drugs tbh, which he knows is unhealthy & he’s trying to stop

actually pretty funny when he wants to be

really competitive

a bicon

when given reason, he can care so deeply about people. it’s so hard for them to see it because of the way he is, but a dead give-away is that if he really cares about someone he will never lie to them. ever

he’s basically just very intense if you couldnt tell already

#cadence.intro #hmu for plots !!!#this is so long im sorry

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rickyclrk · 5 years

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hello, hello? is this thing on? oh — hi !! i’m jess, an aries & steve harrington stan from england. i’m bringing you my first muse ricky clark, unfortunately he’s a bit of an asshole but not to worry, i promise my second will be the opposite ghjfghjsfkh. get to know him below the cut & hmu for plots!

oh hi there, welcome to holiday, RICKY CLARK. you’ve been here for A WEEK? awesome! you look just like ALEX TURNER, it’s crazy. oh, so you’re a TWENTY-SIX year old BASSIST? and you’re CISMALE and use HE/HIM? okay, just checking! oh, people say you’re BOLD AND CAPTIVATING but SHORT-FUSED AND STANDOFFISH? well, i’m sure that you can prove yourself here. you’re looking forward to the NEW YEARS EVE celebration? that’s a good one, you’ll love it. i have to get going now, bye!

trigger warnings: heart disease, loss of a parent, ‘daddy issues’, abandonment, drugs & alcohol mentions, violence implication

background

ricky was born to dirt-poor parents in phoenix, arizona. they had pretty much nothing but the basic necessities but it was v much a “they had each other and that was enough” kinda thing

his mother was his hero, ricky idolized her as she would do anything for him & was a kind, honest woman with a good heart who put every penny she earned into trying to give ricky a good life.

his mom was a waitress. she worked very few shifts as she wanted to make sure she could spend a lot of time around her son making sure he had a good upbringing.

this is where he taught himself how to play the guitar his mom had left behind for him, and later, bass guitar. he quickly realized why she found such escapism in music.

so pretty much the second he turned eighteen and could leave foster care he got the hell out of phoenix and headed out of the state with pretty much nothing to his name? he wandered around a bit, living as somewhat of a vagabond living out of cheap motels whilst he struggled to find a band but somewhere along the line met the raptors, who coincidentally needed a bass player at the time & he was the perfect fit... and the rest is history

personality

he’s FIERCELY loyal and will protect his friends at all costs. he’s prepared to fight someone if they’ve done something to hurt his friends

actually pretty funny when he wants to be

really competitive

a bicon

he’s basically just very intense if you couldnt tell already

wanted / suggested connections

i’m also open to brainstorming something from scratch if none of these fit your muse! hmu!

EX ON GOOD TERMS — the breakup wasn’t anything too dramatic, so there was no hard feelings. ricky might tease your muse on occasion about the pair’s past relationship, but in all seriousness, things are fairly chill between these two.

EX ON BAD TERMS — your muse would call him a heartbreaker. he’d probably agree. ricky broke up with your muse abruptly upon suddenly losing interest, and they didn’t take it lightly.

FRENEMY — nobody can keep up with your muse & ricky. they pretend to get along, mostly to grind each other’s gears. hanging out one minute, and getting into bar fights at the next.

RIVAL / ENEMY — your muse hates ricky. they can’t stand how mean and arrogant he seems, and they would never attempt to get to know anything beyond the surface. they’re sworn enemies and everybody knows it.

GOOD INFLUENCE — your muse can read people easily. that’s how they know that ricky’s hiding some good qualities beneath his tough demeanor. they’re determined to help ricky to make some better decisions, especially when his bad ones are proving detrimental to his mental state.

SOMEONE HE’S A BAD INFLUENCE ON — they’re very different in personalities, but ricky still managed to take a liking to your muse for whatever reason. it’s a shame they fall victim to his bad influence.

DRINKING BUDDY — your muse and ricky are constantly partying together. they have fun, but your muse is starting to see that ricky often takes things too far and gets way too beyond his limits.

PAST HOOK-UP / PAST FWB — it’s no secret that ricky has gotten around a lot in the past. your muse has experienced that first hand, and he’s gotten them into a lot of controversial headlines, that’s for sure.

#holidcyintro #( this is fuckin Long sis )

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one-deranged-son · 4 years

Photo

Sara-Jane Edwards and Her Marriage

Written by Gossamere as John and Vayatel as Jane and Janus.

Jane

If Jane has to name one thing, and one thing only, that makes her happy, it's the kids. So when she got two lines on the test instead of one—no, she wasn't happy, not at first. She was confused. They said she couldn't have any buns in her oven. It was impossible.

She made her husband bought more packs for her, one that was more expensive than the last because money meant quality. She couldn't sleep at night. She paced around with loud thoughts that kept him equally awoke. Went back and forth from the master bedroom to the bathroom five times in the span of an hour. Ten two lines test results and a much reassurance later, she was finally content.

And Jane knew full well that contentment didn't pay so she tried looking for job options; maybe she could rack up some more of those $$$ to help paying for their looming needs. Her husband disapproved the plan. Relax, he said. He's got all things covered, he said. He promised that they would have enough to go to the midwife on delivery day. So rest she went, though unwillingly. And thus restless her heart went on the inside when she was not allowed to do almost anything—day-to-day housework included.

She knew the name John from a friend. And like that friend, she was reluctant at first. But she didn't want her husband to overwork himself while she sat dumb and watching. And there shouldn't be any harm in trying, should there? So she tried calling him for one time—see if things worked out. One time turned to second time, third, and now she'd lost track of the number of times he'd come to help. One time for plumbing. Another time for wiring. Today there'll be a pick-up load of secondhand furnitures waiting to be assembled.

John should be here soon. She watches the clock as the second ticks by. And she feels...exceptionally giddy(??). Any time now...

ㅤㅤ

John

“I’m off to work,” he says to no one in particular. The room is empty, save from the stashed guns under the creaking floor and the shit tons of knives impaled to his bedroom door. His kids are at school, cool, cool, cool, good for them. And John is a responsible adult slash parent, and as a responsible adult slash parent, he’s going to work for their tuition.

So, yeah, he has a job, obviously. Seems to him there tends to be a slight misconception about what he does, most of the time. People thought that he’s set for a living, which is fucking wrong. They assume that he’s doing it for cash; his “night” job and, again, they’re fucking wrong. John didn’t get a single penny from it and thus, comes the day job. It wasn’t much, but, well, it's honest work.

So, anyway, he’s been on multiple calls from this one couple. John thinks they’re cute, even when he rarely talks with the husband. He spends more time with the wife, the one who insisted on calling her Jane, and, yeah, she’s nice. She talks to him while John fixes the sink, talks to him when John cleans out with the fridge, talks to him when he’s doing ABSOLUTELY anything even when he only answers her with a small chuckle or, sometimes, a nod.

But, yeah, whatever. John doesn’t care about that. He needed the money and this pair of lovers reeeeeaaaallly paid him really well. And let’s not forget about all the bonuses and the treats and the small gifts Jane gives for him as a token of appreciation. Hey, his kids loved the cookies she bakes. That’s actually enough motivation to get him all the way to their house.

Like what he’s doing right now. Furniture, yeah, today’s job is about furniture.

He knocks on the front door like always.

ㅤㅤ

Jane

"Oh hello John!"

John only needs three knocks for the door to swing wide open. And like always, the familiarity of her shrill voice greets him from the other side. She doesn't just bolt from the couch to the front door, just like she doesn't try to hug him. The realization quickly dawns on her as she struggles to wrap her arms around him.

"Oh sorry!" She awkwardly backs away, giggling. Her face flushed red and her dainty hand shifts to her swollen belly. With those ginger curls on her head, she looks like someone who just come out of a Pre-Raphaelite art.

"Baby on the way. Come on in!"

The door closes behind them. And when the door closes, comes the rain of questions. First, the self questions.

"Aw, look at you! How have you been?? Quite a long mane you got there 'huh? And I think you got quite stubbly too! That suits you perfectly, you know that?"

Then the family questions.

"And oh, how about the kids? School's great? Did they like the cookies? I just pop some more in the oven if you want to take them home. Do you like peanut butter, John? I do hope the kids like them!"

ㅤㅤ

John

Ah, right. The questions.

John keeps forgetting about it, God-knows-why. It was basically already a ritual at this point. Jane talks a lot and asks a lot, from the smallest change of his hairstyle to the latest results of his kid's quiz. Well, yeah. Jane talks a lot and asks a lot.

But, honestly, John doesn’t mind. Jane is nice and he figures out that maybe it was all the... um, hormones? Doing? Dunno. Maybe she was already this jolly even before she got pregnant? Dunno. Jane talks a lot and asks a lot, but John doesn’t mind at all.

Like, anyway, it’s not like she asks about any weird stuff. John could always smile and say, “Yes” to all of her questions (aside from the ones that require some sort of different combination of words). Then when the question about the kids came, he could always play the “They love your cookies very much, wouldn’t stop eating it on our game night” card. Jane talks a lot and asks a lot, but John doesn’t mind at all.

And that’s basically why he let the questions keep rolling past her lips. Now he’s standing in Jane’s living room, answering everything with some quiet nod and what seems to be a light-hearted chuckle. Basically just enough effort to be considered as a proper response and not making him look like some hot mess with zero social skill.

“Thank you for the cookies. The kids love it very much, couldn’t stop eating even when I tell them.”

Right, enough with that.

“Uh, the furniture?”

ㅤㅤ

Jane

Jane couldn't help herself. She bursts out laughing at John like he just asked the dumbest question.

"The furniture?"

And it is, indeed, a dumb question.

"You mean that furniture over there?"

Not far back where she points is an open door, leading to another room. She heads toward it and gestures John to follow. The room feels different than the entire house; a little small but very bright, courtesy to the walls washed in stripes of bright orange and pastel pink. It's entirely empty, save for a few scattered tools—screwdrivers, bolts, paint buckets, and a hammer—around a beautiful, polished wooden baby crib on the center.

"Looks great 'huh? Janus finished assembling this like an hour ago." She places a finger on the crib and pushes it slightly. The wood creaks in protest. "So... I think our work here is finished," she says, patting John on the shoulder.

ㅤㅤ

John

John stares at the way the crib sways back and forth. It’s a… It was well-built, aside from the scattered tools around it. It’s probably the latest model, maybe, and it got soft, pastel colors just like the entire room atmosphere.

He blinks.

“Uh, so,” John looks at Jane, expecting that she will say something else but instead she taps him on the shoulder and says that his job today is finished, the recurring meme he keeps receiving from his son’s message popping out in his thoughts. Is this a joke?

“Is there anything else?” he says, and yes, he’s trying to convince himself that this is NOT what it looks like. If he’s starting to sweat underneath the multiple layers of henley and hoodie he uses, then he’s blaming it on the heat.

ㅤㅤ

Jane

Does she feel bad about it? Well of course not! She, for one, didn't lie about the job—the crib was still in pieces an hour ago when she called John to come and help. Her husband knew and said something along the lines of dismissing him because he could work on it by himself. Apparently, that was his business now, for what seemed to him like a call to cancel John's help was actually a call to the void.

Now while he goes and gets that grocery, she has all the time for herself and a raging emptiness in her heart—that which Janus couldn't fill. Jane thinks it isn't entirely his fault; he's a hardworking man, decent, loving, but bleak. Forbidding, even. ohn, on the other hand, loves to chuckle, loves to nod, and loves her cookie (that part isn't entirely his fault either because Janus is a sworn vegan). All overshadowed by the creases of confusion carved into that lovely face and beads of sweat in his forehead.

She chuckles. It isn't even that hot in here.

"Oh, come on now, John. Why are you so funny? I mean—are you serious? You can't be serious 'right?"

She starts heading out, but glances over her shoulder to where she leaves John on his spot before she reaches the door.

"You know—actually, I think there might be one more thing you can help. But before that, why don't you go and take a seat?" she smirks. "Or better, let me grab you something to drink. Do you like some water to stave off that heat or...maybe something fancier?"

ㅤㅤ

John

John feels like his heart sunk to the bottom of his stomach when he realizes, shit, this is really happening, is it? He’s being hit on by a married—no. Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. This is even worse than married, it’s a pregnant woman.

He—he wants to shrug it off. Can he? No, he shouldn’t. Pretending to be oblivious about it is dead wrong and, like, what would his kids think about him after this? What will Father Brown, dang, that old man and his sappy smile, think of him? No, no, no, no, no.

“I, uh.” John follows her outside the room, so it’s the fancy stuff now, eh. He tries to check on the time, try to find something that he could use as an escape plan ‘cause he ain’t having it. No, no, no, no, no.

No fucking way.

“Actually, I, um, I was planning to get back home early today,” he says. “I want to pick the kids up from school,” lies, “and probably take them out for ramen,” also lies, they had enough MSG for the week.

“Um, maybe I could just... take water and finish the job.”

John smiles and he damn hopes that it ain’t look forced.

“Don’t wanna keep the kids waiting.”

ㅤㅤ

Jane

Oh, that smile makes her /swoon/. Jane thinks about touching those stubbly cheeks—is it soft red she sees on them? Or is it her wild, uncontrollable imagination?

"Oh, they love ramen? Then why don't you tell me, silly? You know, I, for one, am very good with Japanese cuisines. You should bring them here sometimes! I'm pretty sure they'll fall in love with my ramen they won't wanna eat anywhere else," then with her elbow to John's arm, a wink, and a giggle: "Mom's cooking is always the best 'right?"

"Sadly I don't have any ramen for now— But! Guess what? I baked them extra cookies today! Just...let me grab you some water and the cookie okay? Oh! And your payment too so you can go treat them some good, /good/ ramen. Don't wanna keep them waiting too~ and don't go anywhere now." A playful warning hand up in the air before she disappears into the kitchen.

ㅤㅤ

John

No, she does not imagine that. The blush creeping in his cheeks is very much real, not that it matters, anyway. You think blowing people’s heads up after dinner means you are invincible to any kind of threat? Jokes on him, then. The situation is NOT ideal. And it’s not only because Jane is, one, married and is having a baby soon, it also because, two, he has two goddamn teenagers and probably too much fucking shit on his plate right now. He doesn’t need—no—he absolutely doesn’t want to add more of these shenanigans into it at the moment.

“It’s really—uh,” aaaaaaaand there she goes.

Just when he thinks that he could actually escape this maze called life, Jane is proved to be more persistent and more… no, ‘prepared’ is an understatement. John could come up with anything right now and, fuck, John could say that he has STD and Jane would find a cure for that. Violence is not an option here.

He looks around the room, trying to not feel completely out of place. For now, he just hopes that her husband would be here and, like, do anything? John would be super glad if he even kicked him outta their nice little house.

ㅤㅤ

Jane

When she returns, there is a hell of a lot of things to settle.

Water first—she hands the glass to John and anticipates another swoon as she watches his throat muscles move in sync with his long chugs.

Cookies second—a box full of them for the dear kids in a paper bag scribbled with endearments from your one and only mother figure Jane.

And urges third—right exactly as she holds his chin to bring those sweet, sweet shade of gray and blue irises to meet hers and tip toes in five feet and a half inch.

Last time she checks, fourth is supposed to be a happily ever after scenario where the poison of her honey tasted lips melts his steely heart away and both of them elope to start a new chapter somewhere in the dear ol' book of life. If she has someone to sue for that idea, it's the producer of those crappy soap operas that is so goddamn crappy she can't stop tuning in to.

Time moves too fast. Idyllic scene cut short. Jane reacts first and hears it second: the front door bursting open and the load of heavy grocery bag hitting the floor in a thud; the furious storming footsteps and the furious rapid breaths and the furiously violent hands that shoves her out of the way. Her screaming "NO DON'T—" falls into deaf ears. Knuckles to face, a punch square to John's nose. One wish fulfilled. Janus' nostrils flare and his face hot red to the ears.

“Get out of my house.”

And when it seems that the command doesn't register—or more likely, drowned by the "PLEASE DON'T HURT HIM, I'M BEGGING YOU, PLEASE"—he grabs the first thing in his vicinity. A glass vase comes hurling straight at John.

“GET OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE.”

ㅤㅤ

John

It all happened so... fast.

One moment he’s looking at the glass and trying to figure out whether it was drugged, the next second he’s smiling and holding the cookies close to him ‘cause, honestly, he really hopes it could be a shield for anything that would come up next. It didn’t do shit.

The first time their lips almost touched, John can’t even breath. The shock is far bigger, far wilder than the first time he settled an explosive near a goddamn power plant in 1987. One moment Jane is touching his cheeks and smiling so bright, the next second he’s on the ground. The knuckles meeting his cheeks and nose and eyes and it hurts like hell and holy fucking shit the cookies are ruined oh what the fuck, what is going—

John breathes hard.

He pulls back.

“I—”

The vase comes hauling at him and John catches it with his bare hand—holy fucking shit. The goddamn shit is heavy as hell and the moment he holds it in his arm, he feels like the ground turns into a fucking quicksand.

And it’s red, fuck, is he bleeding? He’s bleeding, isn’t he? He’s bleeding and his hand is fucking trembling and he looks at the goddamn husband and the goddamn wife and at the goddamn cookies and the goddamn vase and for a moment he tries to figure out what has he done in his past life to deserve this shit or which part of for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in goddamn health, ‘til the motherfucking death does “us” part do they NOT fucking understand?

The Revelator looks at him; breaths ragged and face burning red, the husband fist is covered in red from his own blood.

And at that moment all he wants to do just throws the fucking vase back at him and use the shard to—

John breathes hard. He pulls back.

He places the vase down and runs to the front door. Their cries be damned.

ㅤㅤ

Jane

Hard for Jane to see. Her sight too blurry with tears. But she recognizes every single thing: the glass vase, oh, not her mother's favourite vase; bloody nosed John sprawled across the floor; the bag of cookies, oh god, not the peanut butter ones, not the waiting kids or the look on their faces, the payment, the ramen and good times, the new chapter, the FUCKING HAPPILY EVER AFTER that DISAPPEARS as he swings the front door open, no, no, no—

Before she even has the chance to chase him to the door, Janus already holds her by the arm. His eyes are searching. Are you alright— Did he hurt you— You— and her heart BREAKS entirely. She CRIES, yanking herself out of his touch.

DON'T TOUCH ME YOU FUCKING MONSTER, YOU HURT HIM, FUCK YOU THIS THAT and other slur of profanities go after one another as she rushes to the bedroom and slams the door close.

Janus

And there's nothing to be explained.

Janus doesn't move. Doesn't ask any more question. Doesn't curse back. Doesn't run after her. The stillness that follows the slamming door creeps on the back of his neck, but it takes him just a moment short to compose himself and register all the mess he just created before he starts working.

He grabs the vase by one swing. The fleeting thought of John catching it with bare hand and so much precision dawns on the back of his mind before he places it back where it belongs: on the counter top, sitting and collecting dust for the past year.

With a bloody left hand and a sleeved right hand, he takes the bag of cookies or whatever's left in them and throws them to the bin—the bits that got out of the bag crunching underneath the sole of his boots as he walks past. And lastly, he addresses the front door.

But there's nothing to be explained, really. Not while his hand lingers on the cold door handle and his gaze lingers on the figure of the so-called footman. The universe chokes in a silence too long that it hopes to just die instead.

But there's nothing to be explained—everything is crystal clear. And there's nothing to be apologized for.

The door closes with a single click.

#adorote devote latens deitas #2 #tw: violence #tw: blood #tw: language

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ultralifehackerguru-blog · 7 years

Photo

New Post has been published on http://www.lifehacker.guru/36-people-solid-sense-humor/

36 People With A Solid Sense Of Humor

One of my favorite qualities in another person is a solid sense of humor. Funny people can make every situation more entertaining.So if you’re having a bad day, or could even use a quick distraction from your responsibilities, check out these folks who definitely know how to make a joke.

1. “Ohhhhh yeahhhh!” Whoever did this probably got so fed up with the wall that they just decided to turn it into a joke instead. Rumor has it that the Kool-Aid Man is still on the loose to this day.

Reddit | XtopherP33

2. It seems like this sign has some pretty bad seasonal allergies. Either that, or the person in charge of making the sign was being lazy and decided it would be less work to make this joke.

Reddit | matherly32

3. When this RadioShack went out of business, the owners decided that they should have one last laugh and make the sign say “Adios” as a final farewell to their customers.

Reddit | zgp5002

4. April Fools’ Day has to be like Christmas for prankster parking attendants. They probably just go around the entire city handing out fake tickets to mess with people, like this one did.

Reddit | hysnbrg4

5. When you need a ride home from the airport, be careful which one of your friends you ask to pick you up. If you pick one who is prone to making jokes, you risk being greeted with an embarrassing sign.

Reddit | Kat_lanta

6. I ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digger, but that license plate is. I think this is the person that Kanye West was talking about in his song. Hey, at least she’s honest about it.

Reddit | eyebrowfetish

7. If you start losing your hair, you can either be sad about it, or get excited because in a few years, you’ll have an awesome joke opportunity like this guy.

Reddit | BreakYourselfFool

8. Now this girl has a solid sense of humor. I would love to be friends with her, especially since her personality is 20/10! I think my favorite part of her entire bio is her occupation.

Twitter | @MEMESG0D

9. I like the responses by both the student and the teacher. You can tell that this teacher is probably every kid’s favorite because he knows how to have a good time.

Imgur | stargoslaby

10. These parents were walking around The Gap when they found their lookalikes and decided to impersonate them. Honestly, I think they might have a future in modeling if they wanted to.

Reddit | keesh75

11. The traffic signs in Utah are notorious for always having something witty to say. I would love to meet the person who’s in charge of writing these. I think this might be my dream job.

Reddit | JackTheScripter

12. When riding a motorcycle, sure you could wear a boring, regular helmet that will just protect your brain. Orrr you could put a mask over it and bring joy to every car and pedestrian that you pass while driving.

Reddit | proudwhytetrash

13. It was “Ranch Day” at their high school, and one kid decided to take a little different direction with it. I just found what I’m going as for Halloween this year.

Imgur | IBarrettl

14. If I owned a dog, you better believe that he’d be wearing this outfit 24/7. Seriously, if I saw this dog walking down the street, I wouldn’t stop laughing for the next hour.

Reddit | LordRekrus

15. This local, independent coffee shop decided to have a sense of humor and use a Starbucks mug as their toilet brush holder. Shots fired. The ball’s in your court, Starbucks.

Reddit | daviedrew

16. Their sales to young basics increase by 200% during the fall. Rumor has it that if you wear a pair of Uggs into the store, you’ll receive an additional 15% off your tires.

Reddit | colby979

17. This kid has a great sense of humor. Most people in his situation would be angry about receiving a gift like this, but he’s owning it. This is the attitude that makes the world a better place.

Reddit | Taran_McDohl

18. Poor guy doesn’t have a girlfriend to be his passenger, but thanks to his solid sense of humor, Barbie got to go for a ride. I would love to see this cute couple cruising down the road.

Reddit | Empire-Maker

19. There’s nothing like a father showing his children love and affection. I would hate to be the doctor to tell this guy that he’s not allowed to do certain things. Chances are, he’s not going to listen.

Twitter | @spliced_

20. After Hurricane Harvey, Houston needed a bit of humor to cheer people up, and this guy nailed it. I hope that someone takes him up on the offer. I’m sure the water damage will buff right out.

Reddit | colby979

21. You must always throw a safeguard in there.

With T-Swift out there singing, “Look what you made me do,” it gives people permission to totally blame others for their actions.

Instagram | @nochill

22. An eight-pack might have been a little overzealous.

I am not entirely sure how this made him feel better, but his Twitter profile pic would suggest he is quite proud.

Instagram | @kalesalad

23. Such a good call.

But I’m now stuck wondering what is that button actually for? The word “chaos” also always makes me think about Jeff Goldblum, so that’s a bit of alright.

Instagram | @unilad

24. They’re good. They are good.

Too bad my self-esteem has been crushed over the years and they would not make a penny over me. Didn’t think about that, did ya?

Instagram | @unilad

25. This is savage trolling at its best!

Not a bad game if you have a keen eye for up-and-comers. But for a small-time revenge scheme, it seems like it’s pretty legit.

Instagram | @unilad

26. Cats are jerks and deserve to be shamed as often as possible.

This little A-hole thought his antics were funny. Who’s laughin’ now, Mittens? Now all your Facebook friends know.

Reddit | warrant2k

27. She is not wrong.

They have even achieved the same level of voluminous body throughout the style. And their color is identical. They must go to the same salon and ask for “The Nancy.”

Instagram | @kalesalad

28. In life it’s important to be comfortable with who you are.

And if that means you’re Spider-Man, then freakin’ be Spider-Man! If by “dressing up,” they meant fancy clothes, well, it doesn’t get much fancier than that.

Instagram | @miinute

29. It’s one thing to be chill during tough times, but it’s something else entirely when it’s the middle of a war.

The only place on whose behalf I’d fight in a civil war is Flavortown!

Reddit | KronosIII

30. Sometimes you gotta go out of your comfort zone and take a risk or two.

Tyler here doubts the qualifications of the mortgage adviser, but I think he’s a good boy! Good boy!

Instagram | @wot_u_sayin_tho

31. This is definitely a dad’s idea of keeping chill.

Yep, nothing like a good dad joke — probably because there’s no such thing as a good dad joke. But this is adorable nonetheless.

Instagram

32. Nothing like luring your prey into a deadly trap.

I think he just wanted to make a cool place for these ants’ last moment on earth.

Instagram | @wot_u_sayin_tho

33. This guy is dedicated to finding max chill with a good doggo.

You know, I don’t think there’s anything weird about this. Dogs are sick! Hey, I know a mortgage adviser he’d love!

Instagram | @x__antisocial_butterfly__x

34. Just let him chill, bro. Just let him chill.

That’s one laid-back trash panda, but I probably would’ve freaked out. Not this person, though. I bet they’re good friends now.

Instagram

35. Looks like it runs in the family.

Instagram | @miinute

36. Bill Nye has absolutely zero chill about the realities of climate change.

Seriously, people. Bill Nye is fire, but global warming is a real problem, and the planet needs to chill out.

Tumblr | creativekandi

(C)

#funny #Lifestyle

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