#badly explained cw plots

[freelancelobotomy]

౨ৎ˚₊𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐃𝐋𝐘 [𝐒.𝐑]

𝜗𝜚⋆₊˚Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

𐙚⋆.˚Summary: Spencer is smitten for the T.A. at Penelope’s art class. And he just might have a chance with her.  ⋆˙⟡♡WC: 2.3k

⊹܀˙CW: Suggestive language, Derek is half neked (for plot reasons of course), Spencer wants y/n so baddddd, Reader is described to have hips (the pic is to show the maxi skirt that I imagined), Reader has long hair.

♪‧₊˚A/N: hiiiiii I love this song + it came on my shuffle yesterday and it gave me an idea so yk I had to get to WORK. I hope u like. If this gets over 100 notes ill write Gravity pt 3. Okay bye bye

Spencer had agreed to take both Derek and Penelope to Penelope’s art class that night since her car wouldn’t start and Derek’s had gotten towed for being parked on the street too long while they were in Florida for a case. Derek wasn’t taking the class with Penelope—he was the model for it.

“It’s a life drawing class,” she had explained, giddily. “They saw Derek pick me up last week and the professor asked him to model for us today. And to bring baby oil.”

The art room was bright and beautifully decorated, with an abundance of ferns and vines and all sorts of greenery adorned onto the walls.

The professor had smiled as the three of them approached the stool that Derek was supposed to perch on during class.

“Penelope! Derek! Happy that you could make it. You can change in the supply closet on the left,” Professor Andi had gasped. “Did you bring some oil? I have linseed oil from my oil painting class earlier today that you can use if you didn’t.”

“I got some, don’t worry, Doc,” Derek had said with a wink before making his way to the supply closet and shutting the door behind him.

“Who is this? Are you here for the class?” Professor Andi had beamed.

“Oh… no. I’m Spencer. I was just dropping off—”

You had walked into the room, your hips swishing in your maxi skirt as you balanced a tower of sketchbooks in your arms.

“Y/N! Hi!” Penelope had smiled. “Do you need help?”

Spencer’s legs had started moving on their own toward you, taking four of the sketchbooks from your stack.

You had smiled politely at the tall man. “Thank you.” The both of you placed the sketchbooks on the table..

“You’re welcome,” he said, his gaze lingering on your face. Beautiful, he had thought, a warmth spreading through him. The first thing he had truly noticed were your lips—the way they curved into a smile as you spoke, their delicate movements as you formed each word. You wrapped Penelope in a hug.

“Oh,” you sighed, a faint blush gracing your cheeks. “How rude of me. I’m Y/N. Professor Andi’s TA. You must be Derek,” you had said, offering your hand.

Spencer, despite a fleeting thought about germs, had found himself wanting to hold it. Your touch was light, and your nails were a pretty pale pink. What would it feel like to have those hands explore…?

Spencer had cleared his throat, a nervous laugh escaping him. “I’m not Derek. I’m, uh… Doctor Spencer Reid—well, just Spencer. Please.” He had fumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets to resist the urge to reach for you again. “I’m Penelope and Derek’s ride.”

“My mistake, Spencer,” you had said, your eyes meeting his with a playful tilt of your head. “Will you be joining us today?”

Did you know the effect you had? It had felt almost cruel. He glanced at Penelope, who was practically begging with her eyes.

A subtle smile had played on his lips. “Looks like I will be,” he nodded, his attention already drawn back to you.

“Great! Come with me. Let’s get you a sketchbook,” you grinned, gesturing for him to follow, and he had found himself eagerly complying.

Your backside was just as pretty as your face. He watched you switch on the light in the supply room, the movement causing a soft sway of your hips that he couldn’t tear his gaze from.

You crouched down to the floor, rummaging through bins of pencils. The way your brow had furrowed in concentration was endearing.

“Have you ever taken art class before? Or just been creating independently?” you asked him, your voice a melodic murmur that had sent a shiver down his spine. Gravity had pulled your hair toward your face, showcasing the delicate slope of your neck—a sight that made his breath catch. He wanted to reach out, to feel the softness of those strands against his fingers.

“Neither. This is all sort of new to me,” he admitted, his chuckle betraying a hint of nervousness—a vulnerability he rarely allowed himself to show. Especially not to someone who already held his attention so tightly.

“I see,” you said, picking up a large sketchbook and a brand new case of pencils and blending stubs. “Well, what do you like to do in your free time?” Your eyes met his for a fleeting moment, his stomach fluttering.

He had taken the supplies from you, his fingers brushing against yours—a brief touch that sent a jolt of electricity through him. He wished the exchange could have lasted longer, wanted to linger in that delicate contact. He spent too long just looking at you, memorizing the curve of your smile, the way your eyes sparkled. Words, he had reminded himself. He needed to say something meaningful, something that would capture your attention as completely as you had captured his.

“I like reading,” he managed, his voice slightly rougher than intended.

You waltzed past him to re-enter the art room, your perfume drifting toward his senses. Hmm… Fresh. Pear maybe? The scent was intoxicating—a promise of sweetness that he desperately wanted to explore. He would’ve followed that fragrance anywhere, even into the deepest ocean.

“Me too. Um… what’s your favorite book?” you asked.

He paused. You wanted to talk to him. The realization sent a thrill through him. What timeline was he in right now? This had felt like a dream.

“I enjoy everything that I read,” he replied. He had known it was a terrible answer, a deflection, but his mind was still reeling from your nearness.

“Okay, but there’s got to be a standout,” you chuckled, raising a brow. Cute. The simple gesture had made him swallow hard.

“Well, recently I’ve been re-reading Orwellian literature, so something of that nature. As of the moment I’ve been particularly enjoying 1984.” He wanted to impress you with his intellect, hoping to find some common ground, some way to bridge the distance between you.

“Ooh,” you sighed, “That’s a good one. Mine right now is probably…” You trailed off, thinking as you opened a fresh kneaded eraser for him. “Lord of the Flies,” you had decided. “Works that ask the question if evil is ingrained into our morality are some of my favorites. I find them the most stimulating,” you said, your eyes holding a captivating intensity.

It hadn’t been suggestive in the slightest the way you had said it, yet it had stirred something within him—a deep need to know you. To know where you came from and the places you'd been. He had managed a curt nod, his usual eloquence deserting him as he had found a seat next to Penelope, his gaze still drawn to your every movement.

After Professor Andi gave a quick review (or introduction, for Spencer) of value and shape, Derek had stepped out of the supply closet, glistening like a glazed donut. The women in the class had turned to each other, giddy and excited. He had taken his place on the stool in the middle of the circle of chairs. Derek smiled at Spencer and Penelope before striking a pose.

Spencer didn’t give a shit, though. He had been staring at you as you peeled a clementine at your desk, the delicate way your fingers manipulated the fruit utterly mesmerizing. You popped a slice into your mouth before wiping the residue from your hands and taking your sketchbook in hand. He imagined the sweetness lingering on your lips—a dangerous thought that made his chest ache. He’s never wanted someone so badly before.

Professor Andi had put on her Bossa Nova playlist. How fitting. Your hoop earrings, the faint flush on your cheeks—you had looked like how Bossa Nova sounded: pleasant and dreamy, an ethereal vision that he had felt he could only admire from afar.

You had begun sketching furiously, a small pout forming on your lips in concentration, your brow furrowed. The intensity of your focus had been incredibly alluring. He had found himself wanting to be the subject of that fierce gaze, to have you study him with such intent. He envied the loose leaf paper of your sketchbook and your 6B pencil that had the privilege of feeling your touch uninterrupted.

“Why haven’t you started yet?” Penelope whispered—not so subtly. It snapped Spencer from his haze, the spell you had cast momentarily broken.

“Huh—what?”

“Your page. It’s empty. Why?”

“Just thinking of how to approach this, is all,” he lied, his mind still replaying the way your hair had fallen across your neck. Penelope had narrowed her eyes but had chosen to let it go.

He had desperately wanted to impress you, to create something worthy of your attention. The thought of your opinion consumed him.

Spencer had somehow managed to find the control to start drawing a half-naked, oiled-up Derek, but his values had gotten a little muddy. He had needed to block out the highlights like Professor Andi had said in her brief lecture. But his kneaded eraser was stiff and wouldn’t warm up in his hands, no matter how long he had pressed it between his palms.

“Do you need help?” 

“Uh, yeah, my eraser won’t soften.”

“Y/N,” Penelope said, calling you over with a smile. You peered up from your sketchbook and smiled as you got up to approach her.

“How can I help?” you asked, bending over slightly with your palms on your thighs to be within earshot of Penelope.

“Spence needs help getting his kneaded eraser to knead,” she whispered, biting back a smile.

“No problem,” you smiled, dragging a stool next to him and sitting down. You had leaned in close to get a glance at the eraser. Pears, he had thought.

“Is it hard?” you asked. Ironic, he had thought.

“Yeah. I’m sorry. I’ve never done this before. I don’t know how to.”

“You’re totally fine. It happens to me all the time. Here. I’ll help,” you had said, taking his hands into yours. “See this part of your thumb?”

Your long, delicate fingers had softly rubbed the joint below the pad of his thumb. Spencer had nodded, his mouth suddenly dry.

“You’re going to press it against this joint,” you had said, your fingertips now tracing the second joint of his index finger. “And rub the eraser between your fingers to warm it up.” You had placed the square, unkneaded eraser in the described position and guided Spencer’s hands to repeat that motion over and over until his fingerprint had appeared in the softened eraser. Spencer had hoped you wouldn’t notice how badly his hands were shaking as you held them.

“Okay, good job,” you had said, a soft warmth in your voice. Jesus. “Now stretch it with two hands like putty, then roll it into a ball.”

Your molasses gaze had flickered over his fingers, briefly meeting his. He had your complete attention in that moment and he literally had no idea what to do with himself. He had rolled the now-soft eraser into a ball.

“Perfect. Now you can use it.” You smiled at him—a genuine, captivating smile that had sent a jolt through him—before moving your stool away.

“Thank you,” he said, his voice a little rough. You nodded politely before returning to your sketchbook.

Spencer had made the decision that he was going to try his absolute hardest to impress you. He had known it was probably stupid, but it hadn’t seemed impossible, and he had thought he had a good shot at making it work.

By the end of the class, everyone had given their sketches to Derek for him to keep. Spencer had handed his to Derek. Derek’s brows had risen.

“You did this?”

“Yeah,” Spencer croaked dryly, his mind elsewhere. He had been watching you through the mirror near the door. You had ripped out two pages and then gotten up from your seat.

“It looks good, actually. Nice work, pretty boy,” Derek had said, clapping him hard on the shoulder.

“Hi Derek, nice to meet you,” you said nicely, smiling. You had handed him your portrait, which—of course—had put everyone else’s to shame, Spencer’s included. You made polite small talk with Penelope until they had eventually needed to leave.

Spencer lingered in the doorway. Ask for her number. Stop being awkward and aloof for five seconds of your life and ask her. But what if you never called him? Should he ask you to coffee instead? Or lunch? You seemed like a brunch type of girl—

“Doctor,” you whispered.

Spencer had turned around, his heart leaping. “I have something for you,” you had said, walking toward him.

“For me?” he asked, a hopeful tremor in his voice.

You handed him something—it was a portrait. Of him.

“I did it after I finished Derek’s.”

It was beautiful. He looked beautiful. The delicate lines of the shadows sketched by your hands, the slope of his nose, the shape of his lips… it had been him, and it had been wonderful. And it had been by you. You had observed his face and felt the need to put pencil to paper.

“Would you like, um—Y/N… Do you want to get coffee with me sometime next week?” he stammered, the question tumbling out in a rush. A slow, knowing smile had crept onto your lips, and you had nodded. Unbelievable.

“Yeah, I’d love to, Spencer,” you chuckled breathily, the sound like a melody to his ears.

“Really? Could I… get your number?” he had asked, his gaze fixed on yours.

“Flip it over,” you said, brushing past him, your scent lingering in the air again.

He had followed your directions. Your number had been scribbled on the back of the portrait. “Bye, Spencer.”

He watched you get into your car as Penelope and Derek laughed about something.

Your car had pulled out of the driveway, and you had honked the horn.

Penelope had smirked at Spencer. “Someone made a friend.”

“I saw her helping you ‘knead your eraser.’ I can tell she likes you.”

“You think?” Spencer had asked, biting back a grin.

He sure had hoped so—because he was already obsessed with you.

borders from: @muffiinss

I love jeff buckley

[smileysuh]

dark protector - TEASER

🌙 starring. Choi Seungcheol x afab!Reader

🔮 preview. “When I’m balls deep in your pussy, watching you writhe under me, listening to your pretty sounds- that will be the cherry on top of this birthday,” he explains. “Thank you for wanting to make me feel good, but- usually, baby, I like to be the giver.”

tw/cw. mentions of past relationship abuse/trauma/cheating, alcohol, bar fights, Cheol gets grazed with a knife, unprotected sex, dry humping, hand job, blow job, pussy eating, fingering, pleasure dom!Cheol, breast worship, dirty talk, praise, size kink/manhandling, multiple reader orgasms, groping, Cheol is a big muscled tattooed man, creampie, birthday sex, etc… I pet names: (hers) baby.

👹 rating.18+ explicit I wc. 14.2k

🍭 aus. tattoo/motorcycle au, nurse!reader, soulmates, etc…

☀️ mlist + an.  The tarot deck used in the prologue is ‘The Wild Unknown Animal Spirit Guide Deck’ by Kim Krans. I had so much fun exploring a more spiritual-themed plot, the idea of soulmates and spirit guides and such :)

Seungcheol gives you the space to unwind. He doesn’t pester you with questions about the altercation with your ex at the bar, and you’re grateful for it.

“You’re not hurt, are you?” he asks finally.

You shake your head, your eyes dopping to his hands. “You’re hurt though.”

“Just bruised knuckles,” he assures you. 

“There’s blood,” you insist. “I’ll-”

“Tell me where your first aid kit is and I’ll grab it.” 

You direct him to the cupboard in your bathroom, and he returns with it, setting the case onto your coffee table. 

“How’s your shoulder?” you ask as you take out the tools you’ll need.

“Almost better, I heal fast,” he says softly.

It feels good to focus on his wounds rather than your own, and you gently clean the scrapes on his hand. His right fist is pretty badly bruised, and you do your best to treat it. Then you begin to slowly wrap his knuckles, taking your time. Two wraps around his wrist, diagonal across the top to his pinky, under the hand, to the pointer, diagonal- 

It’s a nice repetition of motions, and when you’re all done, you lift his hand to your lips, gently pressing a kiss to his knuckles. “All better.”

You look up at Seungcheol, and he stares back.

Then, he slowly moves in, carefully watching your expression. He stops just an inch from your lips, and you can feel his breath on your face. He’s waiting for you to make the final move, for you to be the one with control.

With one last look at your beautiful, dark protector, you close the distance.

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interact with this post to be tagged, priority given to reblogs/replies cuz tagspace is limited :)

[miguel-ohara-lover]

Coming Undone

CW: feral, rapture side effects, I know rapture isn’t actually like this so maybe AU(?), no prep, GN reader, p*rn no plot, no dialogue

Note: HI?? Omg it’s been awhile since I’ve written well anything really. But I wanted to write something short and simple since it is a special time of year for a lot of people including me. I tried to make reader as non-descriptive as I could, like I didn’t even describe clothes or anything so I hope that worked? I got random struck with inspiration to write, maybe it’s all the love on my old stuff which by the way THANK YOU??? My love for Oscar Isaac was recently resparked so maybe that’s another reason lol. Anyway- I hope you like this merry Christmas and happy holidays, and if you don’t celebrate anything I hope you had a wonderful year and here’s to many more wonderful years to come.

You felt Miguel’s hot breath against your neck, his large, strong hangs pinning yours against the wall. His chest pressed into your back. God, he was feral…

He did briefly explain some side effects of Rapture when you first got together, but maybe you weren’t listening fully. You remember clearly now, exactly what he said. How it can make him feel, how dangerous he can truly get at times.

Miguel’s fangs grazed the skin of your neck. One bite and you’d be paralyzed. He was smarter than that. He had at least enough control to stop himself from causing real harm, though the temptation was there. He so badly wanted to sink his teeth into your flesh… perhaps another time he can ask if you’d like to try that.

You felt trapped, but not helpless. And trapped wasn’t necessary a bad thing. Feeling caged in by his large towering body was kind of hot. The way his frame made you feel small. His right hand moved off of yours and down to your waist. He shoved the fabric down until it bunched around your knees.

He could practically smell the arousal dripping from you, all his senses heightened and on overload. It was overwhelming. Miguel quickened his pace, letting his holographic suit dissolve away, leaving him bare behind you.

Miguel is very large, he’s aware, and you’re aware. And he’s impatient. The thought of prep does briefly cross his mind, but only that. No, he can’t wait, not anymore.

Taking barely any time to line up, he’s suddenly buried deep inside you. You cry out as he stretched your unpressed hole, but the pain quickly melts into pleasure as you feel his slow and deep movements.

For being so impatient just seconds ago, he is steady with his thrusts. He wants you to feel it deep within you, every curve, every vein. He is savoring the feeling of you around him, and for someone who is usually in control, he can already feel himself coming undone.

Miguel is big, so big you remember the first time doubting if he’d fit. Oh, he made it fit. He made sure you felt every last inch. You couldn’t walk straight for a week. Deja vu is hitting you like a stack of bricks, but it’s not a terrible feeling.

His other hand, that had been holding you against the wall, joined his right at your waist, using the control to bounce you along his length as he thrusted. Your moans grew louder as his pace quickened, the room filled with your noise and the sound of skin slapping against skin.

That combined with the smell, your smell, your touch, the sight of you… it drove him crazy. You felt his claws pricking at your skin, surely he wouldn’t actually pierce you with them, but man is he close to. The thought is there, he so badly wants to, the urge to sink his claws and teeth into you, use his webs to tie you up and just ravage you. He’s aware of how dangerous he is, and he does his best to keep it under control.

You know he’s close when his hips stutter, he gets more desperate in his movements, if that’s even possible right now. He also starts to pant, like a needy dog. This is the one stage in your… fun where he isn’t the dangerous leader of the spider society. Panting and even letting out little whines as he ruts into you.

It isn’t long before you feel the familiar warmth of his seed filling you up, and you soon join him. You let out a final moan and reaching back to tangle your fingers his hair. He remains buried in you for a moment while you both ride out your orgasms, panting as he nuzzles into your neck where his teeth were previously threatening to mark up.

He held you against his strong chest, keeping you up knowing you’d slip if he didn’t have a grip on you. He mumbled some quiet thanks against your skin, and you simply smiled as your fingers tangled in his slightly dampened hair. A shower sounds like a good idea, now that he isn’t overwhelmed by senses and feelings.

[sky-is-the-limit]

"Mine."

Bi!Reader x Abby Anderson

Summary: Your friend, Abby, has issues with who you decided to share your first queer experience with and she decides to take matters into her own hands.

CW: Afab!Reader, Porn with little plot, NFSW content, Oral sex (receiving), Suggestive language.

Song recommendation: Slow Down - Chase Atlantic

WC: 3,223 words.

''Abby, stop! Can't you walk a little slower?!'' Short of breath, you gathered whatever energy was left in you, after what was probably the most embarrassing moment you had to endure so far in your lifetime, trying to catch up with Abby's long strides down the cold corridor.

One thing for sure, she was purposely making it a challenge for you to keep up with her.

''With Nora? Seriously Y/N?!'' Finally, she turned slightly the side of her face around for a second, her piercing blue eyes now a shade darker as she shot you a look of disbelief at that, letting out a dry laugh before shaking her head, scoffing.

Unbeknownst to you, your fate was sealed the moment you decided to be brave enough to experience something your soul had been longing for since you were old enough to understand what romance was and why it only seemed to be limited between a man and a woman.

It wasn't meant to happen. Neither you kissing Nora after her blatant advances in the gym's locker room nor Abby walking in as though your life was a badly written comedy and the entire scene was scripted perfectly to humiliate you.

''I'll explain if you stop running away from me!" Your heart pounded in it’s cage, rattling the bars that were your ribs as her pace was only rapidly increasing with each second, her soaked in sweat sleeveless tee stuck on her like a second skin.

''No need. What I walked in on was pretty self-explanatory.'' Her tone was more bitter than expected, a hint of jealousy behind every word she so acerbically punctuated at you.

Your initial thought, that her anger was due to you hiding such a significant part of your identity from her, vanished entirely. It was abnormal, how a person so close to you who happened to be so openly comfortable with her sexuality, was treating you in such manner.

The last two years allowed to you get to know a woman so kind and gentle in contrast of her intimidating physique, who immediately welcomed you and only gave you unconditional support and care in return of your friendship. It scared you that your intuition was screaming that there was more to this than she led on.

''I didn't mean for you to find out this way, I was-'' Your attempt to explain was cut short as she finally stopped outside her room, leading you to bump your front into her defined back, your fingertips lingering a bit longer on her shoulder blades.

''I just don't fucking get it.'' It wasn't frequent for Abby to behave so irritably, her milky freckled skin reddening with frustration, losing her calm composure for something that could easily be solved, if she would just let you explain.

Her fingers shuffled with her keys, agitatedly trying to find the right one so she can unlock the door. Every passing second was driving the both of you to insanity, for different reasons.

''That I happen to also like women? A bit rich coming from you, Abs.'' This was getting ridiculous and you made sure the tone of your voice conveyed that, spitting out every word with sarcasm and intent.

She finally unlocked the door, pushing it with such force that it guarantied to leave spots on the white wall of her bedroom before eventually turning her body around to face you.

''That you like her.'' Abby's tone dripped with scorn as she responded to your remark, her words carrying an edge sharper than a knife. Her eyes narrowed, a vertical wrinkle appearing between her eyebrows, lips pursed slightly with her arms crossed over her chest.

Her eyes seemed to pull you in, a gravitational force that you couldn’t resist and so unable to maintain eye contact, you drifted your gaze to the floor.

''It's not that, I- fucking hell.'' The words tumbled out of your mouth in a fast-paced torrent, echoing the racing thoughts within your mind.

Seeing that you weren’t going to get her to spit out the truth and leave her stubbornness aside, you sighed deeply, tugging her arm, beckoning her to follow you into her room without waiting for an invitation.

''I just wanted to.. I don't know, confirm my suspicions. That I might like women too and Nora.. was just there." You admitted, closing the door behind you. Her brows knitted together in a mixture of confusion and curiosity

''You never told me about.. your 'suspicions'.''  Abby frowned, tilting her head clearly awaiting for you to say more.

''I wanted to make sure first, you know.'' You watched her eyes study you for what seemed like an eternity. It raged through your veins, a wildfire you were ill-equipped to temper, let alone control. 

''And?'' She muttered, her breath almost visibly lodged in her throat. You couldn't help but tore your eyes from hers, feeling your face heat up considerably.

''And my suspicions were correct, I guess.'' You mumbled, cheeks hot under her scrutiny. Abby's response to that was expressed under her breath, almost unintelligible but definitely annoyed.

''Stop with the fucking mumbling, Abby! If you have something to say to me then just say it.'' You finally snapped, every fiber of your being screaming with frustration.

''And it had to be her? You barely even know her, Y/N!'' She was seething now, eyes narrowed in a vicious glare as she slowly edged dangerously closer to your form. Her tone, like a bass drum, resonated in your chest, leaving you with a strange fluttering sensation.

''I don't understand why it's such a big fucking deal to you, Abs!'' At this, you glowered, craning slightly to get in her face before snarling,

''It was merely just a kiss! But yeah, don't worry, when I decide to finally have sex with a woman, I'll make sure to ask of your approval first.'' You huffed, chuckling at her audacity. The words came as a snarl, low and menacing with a knot tightened in your throat, fighting to hold in the urge to ask of her transparent jealousy.

''I just think you should've had your first with someone you know, someone you trust.'' And finally she, too, seemed to realize she had gone too far with this. She hesitated at the fire in your eyes, her expression softening a fraction as she mumbled the words.

''Yeah because there's a bunch of women in my life, waiting for me to say the word.'' A second, two, three passed without any motion or words exchanged. No response from her as the air grew thick with tension. The question hanged in the air, heavy and intoxicating.

''There's at least one, that's for sure.'' The words hit you with the power of a thousand crushing waves. Overwhelmed, your entire body became impossibly still and you just stood there frozen, unblinking, lips slightly parted.

Pending, whether to breathe or scream. It was doubtful whether you were meant to hear that or not yet judging from Abby's indecipherable expression, she was not fixed on an answer either.

''What?'' Even if you weren’t thoroughly sure of what exactly had been transpiring between the two of you since your group moved to the WLF base two years ago, you knew how to recognize a botched confession when it was staring you in the face. 

Eventually, you two ran out of things to say, exhaling heavily as you fall silent.

Abby ultimately decided to take matters into her own hands, her boots clicking on the ground with every step she took towards you, approaching you so painfully slow that your heart almost stopped at the anticipation she brought into your bones.

By the time she was merely inches away from you, you exhaled the breath you had been holding deep in your throat, focused only on backing instinctively away as slowly as she was approaching, until your lower back hit the edge of the desk near her bed.

That’s when it fully registered just how close you two were. Enough that you could feel her hot breath against your neck. Lifting your eyes up to look at her properly, you shuddered at her gaze, hardened eyes smoldering with burning intensity, making you mildly uneasy to this new sensation taking over your body.

''God, you're so fucking thick sometimes.'' She launched herself at you, descending her mouth onto yours, trying to take possession of lips that she had only tasted in her dreams.

Her kiss was hypnotic, so insistent, pressing the tip of her tongue to your shut lips until they surrendered to her and then pulled you the rest of the way against her, your face pushed into hers in a smothering kiss in which you hardly participated in, letting her dominate it in any way she saw fit and it was unparalleled.

One hand was in your hair, tugging it gently and the other at the base of your neck keeping you close to her as though wind was to drift you away from her embrace. Her fingertips slipped beneath your collar to tease at the skin just underneath your clothing and you found yourself melting into it, eager for what would follow.

''I always knew that one day I'd have you like this'.' Gently, she trailed her fingertips up to your jaw, turning your head to the side before attaching her lips to the soft skin, planting wet kisses all over it.

If someone asked you whether this might be a record for how quickly arousal had overtaken your senses, you may have lied. Of course not, you'd say. No way did it take just one nip on your neck to get you this fucking soaked. It started a fire within you no one else could ever ignite.

''You think I haven't noticed how you look at me?'' She latched onto that perfect meeting point between your jaw and throat where she could feel your hammering pulse against her lips and tongue while she marked you with her mouth.

''Fucking hell-'' You gasped as she found that spot that unlocked your entire body, making you squirm and whimper as she increased the intensity of her coordinated attack on it, biting and soothing, until you were a keening mess.

''I always thought that it was gonna be me but you're so god damn impatient.'' Goosebumps slithered down your spine as darted her lips up to your ear, her lips gently caressing your lobe and your hips bucking slightly, longing for her touch.

Her hands trailed down the dips and curves of your body before grasping your arse in both hands, hoisting you upward with ease. You responded, wrapping your legs around her eagerly as she guided you both backwards towards the bed.

Feeling her shins come into contact with the edge of her mattress, she sat down with you straddling her lap, her lips caressing your neck softly.

''She won't get to have this. Not with you.'' She murmured, pulling your bra cups down so your breasts were on full view over the fabric of your shirt, making you squeak, blinking owlishly at the sudden development.

A rush of excitement washed over you, feeling a near-instant reaction between your thighs. You couldn't help but quiver as she dragged her fingertip across your bare nipple, your breasts heaving with each fast breath.

''So beautiful.'' Her breathless whisper set your skin ablaze, gawking at you as though you were the finest masterpiece in a gallery.

''Abby, please-'' Your nails dragged down her defined forearms, creating red lines impatiently. You weren't sure what you were begging for but the slight smirk that formed onto her lips showed you that she understood anyway.

What was certain, was that you were a proper mess under her mercy. Suddenly, the cool temperature of the room turned into unbearable heat, skin on fire contradicting the cold sweat slipping down your spine.

A whine escaped you as she took your nipple in her mouth, latching onto the very tip with her teeth. She held your stare as she swirled her tongue around the peaked bud, the lace just thick enough to keep her from touching you, but only just.

You could still feel her lips curl around it and the heat of her mouth blazing your skin, leading you to grind against her broad thigh, desperate to rid yourself of the ache between your legs.

Driven by the heat settling in your lower half, you found yourself subconsciously grinding down into her lap, eager for any kind of friction to help soothe your ache. It wasn't enough.

Growing frustrated, you planted your hands on her broad shoulders, supporting yourself as you gently started pressing your hips against hers, subconsciously griding them up and down . Sensing your desperation, she chuckled to herself.

''Not like this. I want to taste you.'' There was nothing she’d love more but to go down on you, feel your thighs quiver and press against her, have you pulse around her tongue until you’re a sobbing mess, begging him to stop and begin, a never ending cycle of pleasure.

With a swift movement of her hands, you found yourself against the soft cottoned sheets of her bed and Abby barely just below your waist, looking up at you with a gaze full of desire.

The hunger in her eyes as she easily removed your jeans from your legs was striking, mesmerising every nerve in your body to stay still under her touch.

Your panties were almost transparent when she reached down, and she wasted no time to zoom in on them. You were practically creaming her fingers once she moved them past the flimsy material, slipping it down to your ankles and then tossing it aside.

She turned her undivided attention to your drenched cunt, folds gleaming with your overflowing slick. Without hesitation, she pressed her lips against your slit, licking excruciatingly slow your arousal and groaning at the taste of you.

In that moment, she felt drunk, gliding her tongue through your wetness, soft sighs escaping her lips whilst taking your scent in. She licked a path up your slit to your throbbing clit before sucking it into her mouth, her pointed tongue tracing circles around it.

It was intoxicating and she was hooked from the first tantalizing taste. Her tongue dug deeper as she sought more, burying her face into the apex of your thighs. 

Only if she knew how many sleepless nights you spent dreaming of her with your hand in between your thighs, wishing it was her instead.

''Abby-'' You moan her name like a desperate prayer, voice feeble and croaky to her touch. Her tongue was painfully, awfully delicate and torturously slow as it circled your sweet spot. In need to feel more pressure, you tried to lift your hips into the pleasure with her grasp tightening on your thighs, promising blue-shaded marks to appear so to hold you into place.

You were too enthralled by her mouth to notice that one of her hands had left your thighs as soft lips rested against your clit, sucking it with need before two fingers slid inside of you with ease, curling upwards to hit your spot instantly.

Her fingers fucked into you slowly, agonizing, matching the pace of her tongue flickering every inch of you. You jolted as if you’d been electrocuted, tense and shirking as you gripped the sheets so tight, it felt as if you'd rip them to shreds.

''My girl.'' Her voice sounded so broken and wrecked, showing you exactly how bad she craved this, craved you. Your fingers tugged at her soft hair desperately for something to keep yourself grounded.

The sound that escaped her lips was so feral, almost like a growl matching her brutal pace, and your eyes blurred with stars as she hit the deepest parts inside of you with her long fingers over and over.

The orgasm building inside of you with each thrust was overwhelming, threatening to leave you shaking and breathless in a way no other person could ever quite manage, even if they were the most experienced on the planet. No one mattered but her, neither to your heart or trembling body.

''Mine. Aren't you?'' She whispered breathlessly before licking you again, slower and more deliberately than before.

The action drew a sharp cry from your lips which was quickly stifled as you bit down on them, squirming under the flickers of sensation. It felt as though you were connected, quickening her pace, working in broad strokes, sliding against the sides of your labia.

You felt your face flush to her question, whether it was from the raspy, assertive tone of her words, or the return of her searing gaze on you, perhaps a combination of both, you didn't know. Not trusting yourself to speak, you settled for a shaky nod and a barely audible 'yes' that came out mostly as a whimper. 

You arched your back, your hips jerking in his grasp as the pleasure made your body burn from the inside out. You moaned with complete abandon, your grip on your sheets almost tearing holes in the fabric.

The noises coming between your legs were obscene. The slurping and sucking that reached your ears drenched your body with a hot flush and you threw your head back with a long whine. Your body was aching for relief, a way to release the tension that had been building up from the past couple of days of sexual frustration. 

Pleasure twisted deep in your belly, and the release was nearly excruciating when you were finally pushed over the edge.

Without being able to control the moans and whimpers lodging in your throat any longer, you finally yelped in pleasure as she lapped at your cunt, white dots in your vision as the orgasm hit you hard, your whole body shaking with the sudden release of tension.

The pressure, the heat led you to scream, tears forming in the corners of your eyes from the intensity, but her mouth refused to leave your throbbing core. She slid her tongue inside your hole, grinning at the rush of your fluids on her chin.

It was not deep, not even close, yet the stretch was enough to curl your toes from being overstimulated. Enough for you to croak out her name as your back pressed against the bed, kittenish and feeble.

Nothing else mattered but the feel of her tongue, as she drew your folds aside and ruthlessly drank mouthfuls of your release, as eagerly as someone stuck in the desert for far too long coming across an oasis, glistening slick dripping down her face in the process.

You held your palms across your mouth attempting to stifle your cries while bucking your hips against her greedy mouth.

When she was satisfied enough, she pressed her head gently against your thigh, planting a soft kiss there before darting her gaze up to your face, taking in the mess that she made of you with a beaming smile.

''That was- fuck.'' There were no words to describe the euphoria you just experienced and so you just stared at the beautiful woman resting so comfortably against your skin, with half lidded eyes, stretched open, and ever so pleased.

Speechless, your hand reached down to her angel carved face, tracing the outline of it softly with your fingertips.

''Oh, we are not done yet.'' Yeah, you might have to thank Nora after all.

[yall-hate-kids-tourney]

Jane Crocker (Homestuck) vs. Anakin Skywalker (Star Wars)

Y'all Hate Kids: Screwed By The Writers

Propaganda below the cut

-

Jane Crocker (Homestuck)

(cw: brief mentions of assault)

The fandom blames her for the melodrama and problems in Act 6 and shit even though it was ALL the alpha kids who were terrible communicators and having relationship drama. She encouraged Jake to try having a relationship with Dirk even though she liked him too, she wants her friends to be happy even if she isn't. The fandom basically makes her the Stupid Bitch Who Gets In The Way Of Yaoi even though she quite literally made the yaoi happen. She's a victim of Act 6 being messy and written badly. Then we get to the epilogues/sequel. While she's an adult there, it's clear the writers just kinda hate her. She could definitely be a villain but they completely misunderstand her character in order to make her flat and completely in the wrong- even though some of the things she's saying in regards to Troll and Human society intertwining. It isn't looked at with nuance, Jane is just wrong and everyone else has to kill her. Like... hello??? If you're going to make her a villain do it right. Misogyny my nemesis. 

-

"Jane Crocker is initially introduced when, in order to win the game they have been sucked into, the original four kids travel to a universe where their grand/parents have been swapped with them and selected to play it instead.  She is the grandmother, now granddaughter of John Egbert, the first introduced character, and her hobbies include detective fiction, baking, wondering how to tell one of her best friends that she's in love with him, and avoiding frequent attempts on her life.

To explain that last one, she is the heiress to the Betty Crocker company and national monopoly, aka. Crockercorp, and has big plans about the good she can do when she finally takes power.  As she finds out in the game, the company is a front ruled by the Condesce, an alien queen from another universe who was gathering power on Earth so that she could leap into the game and thus take over the world it would create.  And she's happy to let Jane rule with her, so long as she puts on this computer and OBEYs.

After she is mind-controlled by the Condesce, Jane has little role in the rest of the story -- she is put to sleep and cured offscreen, and only shows up as a bit player in the final fight with no dialogue whatsoever to resolve her arc.  However, she does have one scene with her crush, Jake, while she is not herself that colours a lot of the audience reaction to her.  

Some context: During the game, she had chickened out during her confession to Jake, and he then proceeded to use her for relationship advice when their other friend, Dirk, succeeded in becoming his boyfriend.  After one of these chats where Jake reveals he forgot her birthday, she blows up at him for using her, which is the last normal conversation they have in the comic.

By the time she is being controlled, Jake is being held prisoner, and so with her inhibitions removed and priorities redirected towards Crockercorp, she tells him all about the future he'll have as her consort and repeatedly harasses and threatens him.  Because there is never any closure for this moment as both characters are shoved to the background, this is the fandom's last impression of Jane, which is used as evidence of her true nature whenever anyone needs to justify their hate for or demonization of her.

Although Jane has plenty of casual conversations with her friends early on that demonstrate her true character -- she is supportive of her friends to a fault, and is initially given the role of team leader but ultimately is too passive to fill it, one of the many reasons for her friends' frayed unity.  However, absolutely none of her traits and decisions are important to the plot, and her arc is dropped with her potential left unfulfilled, leaving it easy for her to be overshadowed by a single dramatic moment she had while explicitly out of character.

And that should be the end of the story, but it gets worse.  In 2019, Hussie released the Homestuck Epilogues, an explicitly ""dubiously canonical"" prose novel with two routes that many fans found so damaging and distasteful that they left the fandom entirely.  Between the book itself and the ensuing flame wars, the fandom was reduced to merely a fraction of its size, and most of the people now remaining belong to the camp that liked the Epilogues, or at least saw it as part of canon.

In both routes of the Epilogue, Jane, now an adult, becomes the authoritarian president of Earth C and coerces Jake into an abusive relationship.  This is worse in the Candy Route, where she is described as a fascist, declares a policy of genocide against trolls, regularly drugs Jake to have sex with him, and uses their kid to blackmail him into staying with her.  All of this ultimately causes her to be cast as a central antagonist in the HS team's ongoing comic ""Homestuck^2"" that continues off of the Epilogues.

All of this follows from an extrapolation of her behaviour while mind-controlled, which is somehow still applicable to her character once she is back to normal.   Now, the popular excuse for her mischaracterization is the backbone of current official Homestuck content.  And because her being an antagonist is key to the story, most fans of the sequel (which is now the majority of online Homestuck fans) have to buy into the justification for her actions in order to properly suspend disbelief and keep reading.  Thus, it is nigh impossible to find anyone who will engage with the canon -- and I mean /actually/ canon, not postcanon -- version of Jane.

Addendum: Although canon Jane is a teenager, I have to discuss how her adult postcanon self affects her perception and basically erases the original character.  Nonetheless, since postcanon Jane can hardly be called the same character, I don't think this affects Jane's eligibility."

Anakin Skywalker (Star Wars)

So poorly written for such an insane fandom that the actual child actor, Jake Lloyd, received enough hate mail to make him quit acting.

[lushflowerrs]

┆Clockwork Headcanons┆+ Rewrite

Note- Sorry if this is badly written or has typos. It is kinda a rewrite of her story. Mostly just a summary though. Also I really wanna make an au and a fanfic about the creeps so people could read about how I see them. Tell me if you wanna see that and give me ideas for the plot since I don't really wanna write one that has like "y/n". I was more leaning towards writing it being through one of the creepypastas POV or something like that. Anyway enjoy💕

CW- Writing of SA(vague mentions not explicit writing of it), violence, and gore(not too detailed but still mentioned).

-Character Description-

Name: Natalie ouellette

Birthday: November 6th 1996

Eye Color: Bright green (used to be hazel)

Hair color: Brunette

Gender: Woman

Height: 176cm or 5,9

Race: White

Seuxality: Bisexual

Appearance:

Clockwork's appearance is somewhat different. I would just make the clothing she wears more detailed or have some kind of memorable design to the clothes she wears. The pictures above are almost exactly how her outfit would look except she would wear a white tank underneath the coat. She always has her hair in a half up-half down style. She would also have knife holsters on both of her legs that she made herself.

Backstory:

Natalie grew up poor in a trailer park with her parents and brother. Her father wasted what little money they had on booze and drugs, taking out his anger on her and hitting her sometimes when he was really drunk. Her mother wasn’t any better, always lashing out. But her brother was the worst. When they were young, he led her into his room, and that night, everything changed. The next day at school, she didn’t speak. That night, he did it again.

She eventually told a group of girls she barely knew, hoping for help. Instead, the rumors spread within a day. Threats flooded her social media, and she could do nothing about it. By sixteen, she focused on school, but her mind drifted. Her notebooks filled with gory drawings. A teacher once caught her and, instead of questioning it, simply said,

“Your time is almost up, Natalie.”

It kept happening. Every time something went wrong, someone said it. She started to hate how time was always against her.

After school, her boyfriend pulled her aside. For a moment, she thought it was something good. Instead, he broke up with her. Said her mindset scared him, that her drawings were disturbing. He left, and she stood there alone.

That night, she whispered to herself in the bathroom mirror. “I won’t harm myself like the others.” Her gaze flicked to the thread and needle on the counter. A hollow laugh escaped her.

“No… I’m doing this because I want to.”

"Time is up."

She stitched the sides of her mouth into a smile. Her mother caught her staring at her reflection, horror in her eyes. The next day, her mother took action. She saw something on TV about an operation to help people like Natalie. Mentally unwell people. She told her daughter they were going to therapy as a cover up.

During the car ride, Natalie fell asleep. In her dream, a voice, deep and familiar, whispered, Your time is up.

She woke up strapped to a white bed in a white room. A doctor passed by, explaining that her parents brought her there for help. Panic set in as he put her to sleep.

She woke up during the operation. Her body wouldn’t move, but she could feel the needles, the injections. The doctors realized too late that she was awake. Another dose of gas knocked her back under.

When she woke again, the doctor stood beside her, holding a mirror. He explained that she wasn’t supposed to wake up and that he wasn’t sure how the medication would affect her. She didn’t hear him. Her eyes were a bright, unnatural green. The stitches remained. Instead of fear, she smiled. Then, she attacked him.

She left the facility and walked home. When she reached the trailer, she knocked. Her mother opened the door. Natalie killed her first with ease, leaving the body at the entrance.

In the living room, her father lay passed out drunk on the couch like always. She took his shotgun and pointed it at his face.

"Your time is up, father."

She pulled the trigger. She smiled as she looked at his blown off face. Natalie walked into the kitchen to grab a knife and slowly approached her brothers room.

Her brother had heard the shot and hid behind the door with a bat. When she stepped inside his room, he struck her in the head. She gritted her teeth, grabbed the bat before he could swing again, and shoved him hard against the bed frame. He gasped. She didn’t stop.

She made sure he felt everything.

After, she stood in the bathroom, staring at herself in the mirror for what felt like hours. Then, her gaze landed on a pocket watch. The sound of the ticking filling the bathroom. Slowly, she picked her knife up.

The knife was cold against her skin as she cut into her eye. The pain was sharp, blinding, but she kept going. Blood spilled down her face as the eyeball dropped into the sink. She grabbed the lighter, heated the blade, and cauterized the wound. The scent of burning flesh filled the air, but she barely reacted.

Then, she pried the small clock from the watch and pushed it into her empty eye socket. She looked in the mirror again and smiled.

Still covered in blood, she walked to her room. She grabbed a backpack, stuffing in clothes and anything useful. Then, her eyes landed on something, her old giraffe plushie. She had it since she was nine. For a moment, she hesitated. Then, she picked it up and stuffed it inside the bag.

Gathering old newspapers and magazines, she spread them over the gas stove. A gasoline can from the shed helped speed things up. She poured it over the couch and anything flammable, making a trail leading outside. Natalie quickly turned the gas stove on and watched as the newspapers slowly started to burn and engulf in flames. She walked back outside, back to the trail of gasoline she made.

Flicking the lighter open, she dropped it onto the path of gasoline. Flames engulfed the trailer in seconds. She watched for a moment before turning away. Natalie didn’t walk out of the trailer park. Clockwork did.

Life in the woods:

Currently clockwork lives in an old rangers cabin in Slenderman's woods.

While she was on the run from the cops she felt like the forest was calling her. Soon she entered, searching for a habitable place to live. She found the cabin deep in the forest. It was by a lake so she didn't have to do much to find water to drink.

When going in the cabin it was dusty and old. It had one bedroom, a kitchen, and of course a bathroom.

But she did have to set up a generator so she would have power and struggles a lot to find enough fuel to power it.

Clockwork is also very clean. She doesn't like feeling dirty and takes baths regularly, unlike some of the other creepypastas. She washes her clothes by hand and hang drys them.

The woods' winters are very unforgiving though. Clockwork usually hunts for her food but when winter hits she struggles a lot. When times get very desperate, she is forced to go into town to supply with food. When she does these supply runs though she makes sure she wears an eye patch and has her hoodie up so no one recognizes her.

Murder in the woods:

Clockwork is brutal and calculated with her killings.

She is driven by the need to relive the moment she ended her family, especially her brother. She prefers to kill men, drawn to the thrill of overpowering them and making them suffer. There’s a sick satisfaction in breaking those who once saw themselves as strong.

Her victims are often hikers or campers who stray too deep into the woods. She thrives in the summer, when tourists and explorers flood the area, unaware of the danger lurking beyond the trees. The warmer months allow her to be more active, stalking her prey and toying with them before making her move.

The winter forces her into survival mode. The harsh conditions make it harder to hunt, and with fewer people venturing into the woods, she doesn't see many people to kill. She spends the season maintaining the cabin, gathering resources, and ensuring she’ll last until next season where she'll be able to spill blood again.

[johannwolfgangvongoethe]

Some Personal Thoughts on Disability in Enstars

disclaimer: disability is a very broad term that covers many different experiences. i will be talking about physical disabilities since i feel most comfortable doing so/have experience with them. obviously that ignores a Huge part of what disability and chronical illness is and can be. but i think it is beyond my capabilities to talk about experiences i don't know much about.

alt caption: i think ritsu is a good character and im trying to explain to myself why

this is sort of a long post, sorry.

content warnings: i talk about ableism and touch on related topics such as dehumanization and objectification and such below. individual parts of this post have their own cw's.

Enstars Writing, Beloathed

to get this out of the way; it is bad sometimes. this is discussed very often. it doesnt depend on the authors either, in my opinion, some writers will hit you with something really troublesome only to (seemingly accidentally) invent human emotion and compassion in a different story. i dont want to repeat what others have said eloquently but there is a fair amount of imperialist worldviews, xenophobia, just racism really, transphobia, ableism, and copaganda to be found in enstars. this isnt about x character being x thing, but about how it is very noticable when the author of a story holds these worldviews and they bleed into their stories.

so that is not the greatest foundation if youre looking for well-written disabilities. but i wouldnt be reading enstars if i didnt think it genuinely is really really good sometimes. in my opinion, the way disabilities are portrayed is a mixed bag overall but there are some extremely worthwhile bits that touched me quite a lot.

What I personally understand as Well-Written Disability

the way disabled people suffer often goes unnoticed, and disabled people dont have a platform to talk about oppression. a lot of life-changing issues can go unnoticed to those unnaffected by them, even if they are in broad daylight: underfounded or entirely lacking healthcare, the way many healthcare systems are marketbased and ethics are prone to suffer bc of this (even under 'welfare' capitalism), a lack of equal marriage, the inaccessibility of the most basic and necessary facilities, financing care and the dependency on family/loved ones (both a logistical and psychological problem), the huge stigma against disabled people, etc, etc, you get me....

we need to write about people who need care, to keep them in mind at all times. disabled people are not a minority in a mathematical sense but in a hierarchical sense. it is naive to think of them as "a substancial percentage" of populations. as we age, we inevitably all enter the stage of needing care at some point. SO to an extend, i want to claim its a topic that affects every single person. yet disabled people are rarely a central topic anywhere. it is not enough to acknowledge them, we need to plan and think with them in mind. and Write with them in mind, i guess.

SO when i see fiction grapple the topic, i am usually really happy, even if the portrayal isnt ideal. (critical, maybe, but generally speaking very happy) pointing out "badly" written disabled characters is obviously not as easy as calling someone out for uncritically saying "i think eugenics are a good idea!!!" through fiction. people with that sort of facist mindset exist of course but ableism does not end there.

if i were to single out things i see often: i think the most disappointing thing a story can do is to - mention a disability without it ever having an impact on people in the story (-> the disability is basically nonexistent, has no impact or relevance, outside of a theoretical mention) OR - uncritically use a disabled character as a mere plot devise, without granting them the ability to speak (-> dehumanization, a lack of understanding that disabled people are, well, People. they do shit.)

and then of course there is fetishization, both in a literal sense and in an inspiration porn sense and the problem of turning disability into a caricature for jokes (either to other disabled people for their behaviour/body or to create a sense of satisfying superiority by laughing at them) but i feel like those problems explain themselves.

to apply these to very basic examples: i think often something like a robotic sci-fi prosthetic is not a good way to represent a disability because it fails to represent what people go through irl and provides a "magic fix" without repercussions. here is a really good post about it. about the plot device issue... i think it is similar to what people often criticise as "manpain". a disabled person will never appear or speak, they are demoted to being the reason an able-bodied character acts a certain way, like a lifeless accessory. this doesnt always have to be bad, esp if its just a sideplot! but it can get tiring if the audience never gets to learn about other aspects of the unseen character in question and we are only introduced to their suffering.

all of this to talk about gacha idol boys. it is how it is. anyway, this is roughly my mental state when i tackle enstars.

disclaimer 2: i am really just a kogaP. this influences which characters i encounter when reading. there are tons of stories i just never looked at and there is SO MUCh lore i just dont know about. please lemme know if you have additions to stuff i say/understand a character better/have related story recommendations! tl;dr the sakuma bit will be long.

disclaimer 3: i genuinely adore every single character mentioned below and am always excited to learn smth new about them. if i criticize writing, that has nothing to do with that character or their fans. it is about the writers.

the most obvious example. Eichi (content warning for brief mentions of self harm and suicidal ideation)

everything eichi does, he does with the knowledge he will most likely die young. that is a truly dramatic setup.

but before i get back to that thought. it always felt to me like eichis illness(/es) lack a certain sense of conciseness? i do not think you need to put a name and diagnosis on it for it to be relatable and real to readers, tbh!! though to achieve believability, there needs to be a good amount of consistency. what i can recall off the top of my head is the following:

he breaks down/straight up blacks out frequently due to weakness and dizzyness

measures were taken to secure his safety in those situations (the infamous Eichi-kun Gauge as seen in Element)

his stamina is seriously low

he coughs a lot

we saw him cough up blood (Daydream)

he relies on long hospital stays because his health needs to be monitored and/or supported this closely

he stays inside a lot (hinting towards problems with his immune system?)

being healthy enough to eat unhealthy food is a big deal to him, so there are dietary restrictions/it was necessary to precisely control what he eats

his grandfather, who died recently, is considered an outlier for how long he lived (so it IS hereditary)

which..... could be a lot of things...? or, more likely: a culmination of many things at once. if you have headcanons on eichis health, please lemme know!

but in addition to eichis terminal illness, there is a second quality to him that separates him from most disabled people: he is extremely wealthy. and his wealth is fundamentally important to stories. usually illness and poverty go hand in hand, since income is tied to the ability to work, which worsens an already bad situation. no matter how limited eichis actions are because of his body, the possibilties offered by his wealth make him a central figure in every overarching plot. in addition to this, his family is well aware of his consitution and he is a patriarchal leading figure to them, the head to their coporate hierachy. eichi is free of the things that usually rid the chronically ill of their safety and power: society (he is an idol and popular) and money (he is the richest boy in japan). if youd ask me, i think that while being chronically ill is of course physically taxing, the worse problem is the economic state it puts you in. eichi simply overcomes this? yes, he is terminally ill, his situation is terrifying. but he has an extraordinary amount of control while he lives. more than a poor yet able-bodied person may have.

his unique circumstances enable him to be incredibly active. this is so fun to read about in my opinion. its a fascinating setup to me. without casting any sort of moral judgement on his actions and the antagonistic role he plays; he is, excuse me for my phrasing here, a disabled power fantasy. (at least to me)

this is a double-edged sword to him. because of who he is as a person (ambitious, cunning, ruthless, diligent)

he lives in relative safety but his strong ambition and financial ability to fulfill his dreams tempt him to go past his limits. because his remaining lifetime is uncertain, the need to preserve the body he is given seems uneconomical (a mindset his upbringing and education as an heir to his family would have enforced imo) he is bound to break down sooner or later anyway. i think he begins to see himself and his body as a tool to achieve his goals and neglects spending time on anything BUT working towards them. so the moment he runs out of goals (like at the end of Element), his reason to "remain" becomes futile.

it really struck with me how he appears in Blackbird - emaciated, pathetic, purposefully neglected because he chose to be neglected and weak in an act of self harm bc denying medical attention (something that couldnt have happened otherwise) wataru has to remind him that no one died and the obvious connection to make is that the eccentrics are physically unharmed and starting over, that they should not be a source of guilt to eichi. but i think this is just as much about eichi himself. he might have expected to die since he left the hospital and overexhausted himself at school and as an idol. he didnt die though. it was a real possibility and seemed likely but he didnt. the neglect and indirect self harm here point out, to me, that he saw the "role" he gave himself as fulfilled at that point and waited to die.

eichi stands over economic or social factors that could ostracize and dehumanize him but funnily enough he manages to do so himself by treating his body as a tool and his happiness as an option that got overshadowed by a need to succeed.

this vulnerability makes him, despite how vague the descriptions of his illness are and despite how unrelatable his wealth is, a very satisfying character imo. it is engaging to me. certain limits are removed for him but he created new ones, specifically because he did not see himself as something worth sustaining once he becomes useless. imo, eichi applied the idea that a lifes worth can be measured in its ability to function in an industry to himself. and spiralled over it, entirely inverting his uncanny amount of bodily autonomy. it is clear how the situation he is in worsens his mental health like that. and how his mental health in turn worsens his physical health. it is inseperable.

i cant really get into !! era eichi because i genuinely just dont... know enough. the fine tradition of having a weekly H-Day stands out, though. after all, eichi has new bigger ambitions and is, once again, inviting his own ruin through overexhaustion. so his friends (the new addition of having friends is essential) had to forcefully make him stop for at least one day a week. that is pretty big. i think.

this is true for many marginalized existences so it of course applies to disabled people: if neither your surroundings nor yourself permit you to feel human and therefore assign your person an inherent worth and lovability... sometimes you need a friend to do so!!! social circles are the best support structure for your health.

The Sakuma Family

(i will get into ritsu and rei seperately later on. there are just a few concepts i want to get out of the way that apply to both of them.)

so... to get a little theoretical; the concept of "disability" relies on the concept of a "normative" human existence. "disability" is an otherness and can therefore easily be seen as a "monstrocity" in the eyes of ignorant people, something that instils fear. (there is a reason why a lot of horror exploits disabled bodies as a source of terror and uses mental hospitals as settings) from an able-bodied point of view it seems "desirable" to be a "normative human", yet the disabled person knows that is not a possibility and knows their worth and place as a human in human spaces. at least ideally. able-bodied people sometimes lack this understanding. there is nothing to be desired about an able body or fixed about a disabled body, beyond what medical care can do for ones quality of life.

if you have read operetta, this is all very familiar;

operetta, chapter 17 and, well, here we are. vampires. a very basic truth about the sakuma family that i hate to see denied is that they are human. there is nothing supernatural about them. they are just disabled. or, to turn the idea around, if one was to assign them vampiristic traits and such... is vampirism not a disability and should be taken seriously as such? if you consider the limits a vampire has while coordinating through their life, is that not... strangely just a disabled experience? (MINUS THE KILLING PEOPLE OBVIOUSLY but much modern fiction is sympathetic towards vampires instead and does not display them as violent)

anyway, to hear it from the horses mouth (the horse is rei):

operetta, chapter 19 the sakuma family is a curious case. their condition is hereditary though the severity varies from person to person. it comes up in many stories but for the most part i am thinking about operetta, resurrection sunday, and devils right now. how did this all start? what made an entire family turn to live as vampires, with blood ceremonies and all that? what bizarre kind of generational trauma is this?

(and, while it does not play a role as important as it did for eichi, they are rich. this is important to mention. many normal experiences just dont apply to them because wealth makes them immune. ... how did the sakumas become this influential anyway.)

for an unspecified but long time, an entire family managed to mentally entirely seperate themselves from the rest of humanity because of their chronical illness. personally, i have no doubt this is the result of a world that othered them first. whether the main motivator at play here is a defensiveness towards a society that cannot understand you or an internal need to turn hardships into an identity that can be carried with pride. it takes a considerable amount of emotional strength and planning for the "hey we are human actually" declaration in operetta to occur.

they are, weirdly, what people mean when they talk about a "toxic anti-recovery mindset". (an expression i struggle with because this sort of rhetoric is often used to discriminate against disabled people who speak up for themselves or ask for accomodations. but that aside) it is an amount of pride that leads to internal self destruction.

of course, as is the case with every single character i write about in this post, a lot of it has to do with aesthetics and being chuuni to sell gacha cards. so we know the reason behind the reason. but it makes for some bizarre in-universe implications.

but in any case, the fact that their identity as false vampires is something they have always carried, that modern society sees as "mystical and sexy" has a hilarious side effect: their disability becomes marketable under the guise of vampirism. it is hard to recover from that.

so again, we have a double-edged sword: to present ones medical condition as a "persona" declares it as a performative act, something that is done to bring joy to an audience. personal detriment is not considered here, since it stops being a part of ones being and starts to become "work". the time and place of ones symptoms has to overlap with the time and place of ones performances. or people will hate you for your uncontrollable illness. however, rei and ritsu are both also able to carry their condition with a sort of playfulness. it is almost something like the act of "reclaiming" when they purposefully choose to larp a little for fun. usually, when a scene mentions their disability in the context of comic relief, they have control over the situation that unfolds and even initiate it and invite others to laugh alongside them. this can be a slippery slope to getting harrassed of course.... but i am rather baffled by the amount of dominance they have in social interactions. so it just reads as a healthy amount of dark humour to me.

this, and the consistent writing of their symptoms, and the ability to easily compare it to real existing illnesses, easly make them my favourite instance of written disabled people in the series. their illness has an impact on their behaviour and it is detrimental! and they are both very human in the way they attempt to cope. there is a certain realism to it. idek.

many people seem to headcanon them with myalgic encephalomyelitis, which is a really good explanation, and i personally want to suggest narcolepsy. the point being, there is room to accurately assign them a realistic relatable and understandable condition, even if nothing is ever named in canon. and of course they are mentioned to have an iron deficiency.

bear with this slightly "out there" theory for a moment: have you or a friend ever tried to get a compensation for your disadvantage at school or uni? it can be really hard to do, if it is possible at all, even if it is something very simple (more time, a slightly different enviroment, the ability to drink or sit, etc) yumenosaki is a school for performance arts, mainly idols. bold statement: it might genuinely be easier to get/explain an accommondation for your "idol quirk" (something that would be actively fostered), than for your disability. not that yumenosaki is very strict or asks for a lot anyway, its just something that has been on my mind.

here is another funny thing i have been thinking about: both of them crave juice, soda, and fruit - sugary yet fresh stuff. i feel like this is not uncommon for people who suffer from excessive tiredness and fatigue, the body subconsciously wishes for some sugar intake to "wake up".

Inventing a Guy to Cope. Rei

funny title aside... he... did that... ? rei is a curious example of how different mostly unrelated traumas can overlap. he had no childhood, thanks to his family that considered him "mature" at a very young age and his early status as a child star. and his bad health is a miserable addition to this. it is quite scary to image how pressured to do right he felt growing up and how that resulted in the fragmented distanced way he views himself; reinventable, and ultimately unknowable. (to others AND himself)

despite his bad health he has always been working and performing "well". he was praised for his remarkable talents but rarely had the chance to stop and patch himself up. whether this was a result of a pushy enviroment or his personality as a people pleaser who cannot show weakness and imperfection is hard to tell. maybe both.

the state he is in in Crossroad is fascinating to me. he all but directly lists the criteria of depression to keito when he attempts to explain his sorrows. he is restless, rowdy, mentions later on that he enrolled in yumenosaki against his familys wishes. he is very much searching for joy and his own identity in the middle of a health emergency. this has to do with the way he was raised, only knowing how to exist for and serve others, how he was made to sell a made-up version of himself, but i also believe it has to do with the fact he has started to exclude himself from his familys traditions and values. he started to cast away the uncertain "monstrosity" existence of his family (as well as the false idolhood others assigned him) and instead embraces humanity as a chronically ill person.

crossroad, i forgor which chapters

this of course marks a starting point of change that later results in him making up the wagahai pronouns persona - something he specifically created with the intention of looking vulnerable and weak. because he yearned to do less, to recover from years of exhaustion.

in a way, i want to say both, the ore pronouns persona and the wagahai pronouns persona, are attempts to cope with expectations he cannot handle physically or mentally. one relies on masking, on appearing stronger than he actually is and therefore invulnerable, and the other relies on exaggerating his weakness, in an attempt to finally let others recognize it. i think as a disabled person, both are performances one has to learn in order to "function" in everyday life, while remaining safe from serious harm (doing badly at ones job or classes, angering others that hold power over your life). since ones circumstances are often hard to grasp for someone who does not share the same illness, there is no choice but to simplify and exaggerate until symptoms become tangible concepts or to just brave through it, at the cost of ones health and future time.

rei in particular, for better or for worse, is incredibly capable when he needs to be and unfortunately that means others will often not take his health seriously because they saw him function just fine the other day. this is a general problem but an obvious offender in that regard is koga, who comments on reis fatigue constantly and loves to create a bit of a high expectations toxic work enviroment (and, to be fair, rei terrorizes him too. kogas hostility towards rei is sometimes ableist but not really rooted in ableism. after all koga is highly aware how performative the wagahai persona can be and is a huge motivational and inspirational factor in reis life. its a whole complex)

!! era holds some positive changes. his mental need to please other people remains a persistent source of trouble for him (and others) but he seems to really let his body recover and lives a more nocturnal life. both kuro and kaoru mention that he looks more healthy (in succession match???? i think??) since he finally stopped enforcing a normal day/night cycle on his body just to comply with social norms. you can indeed be very human even if you break human-made rules.

(additional comment: "becoming human" is of course a theme for each of the eccentrics and not uniquely tied to disability, it very much has to do with the objectification one goes through as a public figure. but this is a post about disability and it really fits in well. so here we go)

Literally Just a Realistic Teenager. Ritsu

ritsu, while not really being among my favourite characters, is my favourite instance of a disabled character in enstars. partly because of his writing and partly because my personal experiences overlap with his so much it sometimes is painful - but always extremely satisfying. just had to get that out.

ritsu is perhaps the most visibly ill. he blacks out and sleeps where he stands, everywhere, without control and often requires other peoples (well, mostly maos) assistance in order to remain safe when this happens. he also repeated a year of school, specifically because of his disability.

he is painfully aware of this. that he looks ill, that he behaves ill, that he is an underachiever compared to others of the same age, even to people younger than him.

ritsu developed unique behaviours to deal with this: he is very dependent and clingy and often asks others to do things for him, unapologetically. that does not mean asking for help doesnt hurt his pride, just that it is the most viable strategy for everyday survival that he ended up with. other than that, he clings more to the vampire identity than rei does. either to defy his older brother or, and this is important imo, because it is the one safety net he has to fall back on that makes him feel "normal" and like he is a regular being. albeit not human. no matter how much others might blame him for his shortcomings or how much he is a failure in the eyes of society, he is very regular for a "vampire". under the logic developed by his family, he is just a child, and the world at large is to blame. it is an easier truth to accept than facing systematic injustice and prejudice in a human world.

the stories i mentioned in another part above aside, i really love what ensemble band does for him; ritsu gets extremely irritated with mao in the prologue, seemingly out of nowhere. his character is allowed to express this sort of anger and to take it out on others, even if it is unjust and misguided. it is not pretty and it isnt good behaviour but it is a very heartfelt emotion to me.

its obvious that he cannot compete with others and that this will always been seen as his personal fault instead of a circumstance he cannot influence. and more than that: no one appreciates the real efforts he makes. for instance, getting himself out of bed in time for classes is difficult for regular teenagers and straight up hellish for ritsu. but he manages to do so a lot later on. instead of acknowledging that this is a real accomplishment on his part and possibly really exhausting and bad for his comfort in the long run, this is seen as doing the bare minimum.

while it is not correct, the malice ritsu sometimes treats others with comes from an comprehensible place. able-bodied ignorance can appear as purposeful slights made by those more privileged than him.

yet he learns to conform. his friends are important to him. knights success is important to him. (thought mental health probably played a role here too and made things even harder prior to his third year of high school) and yet;

seven bridge, chapter 24, but its really just an example i had at hand

the remarks stay the same. his peers still cannot help but brand him as "just lazy", even if they are kind and understanding otherwise and habour no ill intent. so i would like to ask: how long can he keep this up? how hard is this on him?

i dont think i need to explain just how common and hurtful it is to be accused of "laziness". probably the single most irritating comment someone with fatigue will hear every single day.

however, on the flipside, ritsu has perhaps the most people who care for him in comparison with other characters, though they sometimes complain (communication is hard, care is hard, everyone in enstars is very young and i cannot bring myself to see those comments as malice. its a mixture of ignorance and ones own burdens) there is mao, obviously. tsumugi is a very funny example. knights, of course, in particular naru. (at least based on my humble knights readings)

quite interesting how he just decided mao is his caretaker, now and in the future. i shared a few of my thoughts on caretaking here. this is.... a huge responsibility to just put on someones shoulders, to say the least. he shouldnt be doing this but i think it speaks for itself that this is a problem that is on his mind. ITS IS A REALLY IMPORTANT TOPIC TO BRING UP, especially since, the younger you are, the harder it is to get insurance to pay for your care. yes, he is often just teasing mao, but ritsu is looking for ways to get through life. by learning to be as independent as possible, whenever possible. though often you really just find yourself at the mercy of friends and family.

Inter-Sibling Violence

apologies, i will be done with the sakumas soon. i didnt know how to fit this in at the start.

the relationship between rei and ritsu, as people with the same disability who experiences different symptoms and challenges, is worth thinking about. infighting within people of the same disability is very common since experiences can be so different, there are no universal truths or opinions. with different lifestyles come different expectations for what is "normal" and sometimes pressure and social norms can cause someone to shift blame onto others who have no achieved the same things in life.

rei and ritsu are said to have been very close as small children and likely depended on each other a lot. i can see how reis fostering nature and ritsus needy nature developed alongside each other and enforced each other.

time and time again, rei says that he is a "less severe" case, that ritsu has it worse. he jets around the world because he feels forced to do so, when ritsu just wanted emotional support from him to begin with. ritsu stayed alone at home, sheltered and likely caged by their families convictions. but! i want to suggest the following: as much as it hurt him, it was important for reis health to be away from his family, too. i dont think staying there would have been good for him. his absence and the experiences he made away from home were an important catalyst for the positive family development we see in operetta.

of course, rei means well. he cares. he is trying to have a positive impact. yet from ritsus point of view, all of this must feel terribly condescending, especially with how much rei babies him. there is just one year between them. this is barely anything when it comes to sibling inferiority complexes the brain can make up. rei, who is successful and famous and beloved and, most importantly, proclaims to have it "easier than him", is trying to find a cure for him. from ritsus point of view this must be unbearable. their lives are so different when they basically started at the very same point of origin.

more than that, rei shoulders the sketchy blood rituals himself, out of love of course, but if one was more jaded, one could assume he doesnt think ritsu would be able to stomach the responsibility.

you will always compare yourself to your siblings in unhealthy ways but ritsu is just doing this on hard mode, i fear.

HHHRAGAHHHH GHHH ghgghrhgh. Niki

nikis writing is... driving me up a wall sometimes, to say the least. dont get me wrong, i love him. to an extend i understand that his single-mindedness and shallowless has purpose to it. in fact, i adore these character traits. he really seems to be behind four mental barriers at all times, unable to let deeper thoughts touch him, lest they make him succumb to despair. (yet nikis specific flavour of menhera cannot quite shine since... well, he has to stand next to himeru all the time)

the descriptions we get of nikis illness are nonsensical, at least to my knowledge. you could imagine he has something like hyperthyroidism. this never really gets explored though. at some point ENGstars mentions he has "gastroptosis or whatever" (the "or whatever" is part of his dialogue - niki really doesnt give a fuck), which makes no sense at all. weirdly enough, it would even be strangely in character if this was just a misconception.

so, can anyone take niki to a doctor? has this happened and i just wasnt there for it? there is no excuse why no one is considering medical care when it comes to him. except that he often is the butt monkey of jokes the writers want to make and has to stay available for it. more than that; his parents just left him alone like this? as a child? did he get an allowance at least? this cannot be legal, right? i wait for the day this comes up as a topic but i fear it is in vain. (please tell me if it actually did. i dont follow niki that closely) this is an unbelievable thing to do to a healthy child, yet alone one with a severe illness. we are basically looking at denial of assistance.

so many things surrounding nikis story are designed to make him as miserable as possible. i cannot help but feel that he exists purely as comic relief, for funny bickering, and superficial drama. i dont really like that at all, his misery just gets exploited.

EVEN SO... his self-image is actually really fascinating. as rinne likes to point out again and again, niki has no self-worth. he works two jobs, one of which he hates, he constantly gets into dangerous situations, and he will do anything just for some crumbs, and quickly forgets when others treat him badly. and of course, the worst bit:

es!! main story, please dont make me go find it

to some degree, he just accepts this as something he deserves. there is no consideration for his own quality of life, somewhere along the lines it seems like he got conviced just surviving is all he gets. he internalized self-degredation to a dangerous degree and i never see anyone mention this mental affliction specifically as a comorbidity of his disability. to me, there is without a doubt a relation here. sure, maybe he would still fight with this otherwise, just because he had to witness his fathers fall from grace as a child and knows there is a stigma attached to his name now. but i think you can tell it is more than that, from the way he is ashamed to beg (even in a life or death scenario, as seen in hot limit), as if his condition was his own fault.

this circles back to the point i made earlier for eichi; how much nikis life is worth, is measured in his economical value.

of the characters i have spoken of so far, nikis is financially the most accurate to real life. there is no safety net for him, no convenient family wealth.

(at this point it feels important to mention that somehow rinne manages to be the only person entirely aware of the danger and desires to change nikis mindset, YET he is a huge strain on nikis health. i dont know how those two function.)

Just a Lamb. Tatsumi

tatsumis specific trauma is a unique one: while most other characters struggle with conditions they were born with or developed as they grew up, tatsumis injury is the result of strain and violence. those are two different pairs of shoes, though the outcome may be similar. whether it is worse to be born into circumstances you cannot escape or to have to live with having something thrust upon you unfairly is up to personal judgement. pain is not really quantifiable. its just important to keep in mind, i think. under the circumstances tatsumi grew up in, he has his own burdens. it is very easy in many ways to compare and contrast him with eichi. of course this applies to how they used their bodies too: as an expandable resource. they had ideals for their school life (and beyond) that just seemed far more important and they both ended up in hospital because of this. (+ we know tatsumis surroundings were purposefully manipulated to destroy him)

and, of course, tatsumi got attacked later on. he never really talks about it directly but his legs seem to talk for him, in ways.

the story does not quite make it clear whether his occasional weakness and pain are the result of old injuries or entirely psychosomantic, and i dont think there is a real need to know, as a reader. in fact, in a certain light, i think it can be considered good that we dont know for certain: it would be relevant for tatsumi himself, sure, since it would influence which kinds of treatments and help he can seek out. however, i think the ambiguity may foster a certain level of sympathy in readers.

often psychosomatic problems are not taken seriously enough in real life: they cannot be proven physically and they dont fit into the neat little boxes that the ICD wants you to believe exist, so they cannot be defined on paper or easily explained to doctors or insurance providers.

to foster empathy with his situation requires his character to be lovable and for the narrative to treat him with care as well. which is thankfully the case. alkaloid are dear with him and, despite the fact he cannot perform in his work enviroment all the time, he is very respected for his other skills. he is a well-rounded person.

all that aside. it is absolutely worth to mention tatsumi pre-injury, too. he came up with a form of small-scale universal income among a semi-union at school. without getting too much into all that. (obbligato really seems like required lecture in the realm of enstars stories) the entire concept strives for social equality and is extremely anti-discrimination. it fundamentally goes against the idea that someone needs to "deserve" care, and is the opposite of the mindset i described with eichi and niki above. he never had to make first-hand experiences with disability to be extremely compassionate. this seems really rare among people in real life, even those who preach altruism.

While we are Here. K.... Kaname

as mentioned, i spoke a little about kaname before. so i wont get into the complex of caregiving.

it is extremely satisfying we got to meet kaname, if only for one event story. he does not have to remain a faceless motivation behind himeru and tatsumis lives, he thankfully became humanized.

the entire conflict around kaname at the moment is a matter of bodily autonomy. how much of your person can be in anothers hand, ethically? there is no excuse for the theft of his (idol) identity through himeru but the damage is done now. ideally, you dont want any part of yourself to depend on others but the disabled reality is that this is very often impossible. especially for kaname. there simply is no one else who could be responsible for him right now and, to be fair, at least when it comes to medical care, himeru seems to behave very responsibly.

repeating what has been said in the other post but i am worried for kanames seemingly inevitable reintroduction to the story. he has been in a comatose state for a year. if he wakes (since this is fiction, it is possible to exchange 'if' for 'when', realistically it really would be an 'if' though) he would most likely be confronted with permanent neurological and physical damage and years of rehabilitation. at least logically. (not to mention the psychological shock) would this be written with compassion and a sense of realism? it makes for a compelling source of conflict and emotional hardships that could be extremely worthwhile to explore. i just cant entirely bring myself to trust the writers with this one but i would love to be convinced otherwise.

that is, of course, if they dont somehow just skip rehabilitation entirely and declare it a miracle healing.....

imo, the in-game discourse between characters is just as important as his future development. i just really hope autonomy and recovery will be large topics.

He doesnt go here, but. Adonis

so bringing him up just really feels necessary within the context of this post because of his interests. one of adonis hobbies is sign language and accessibility.

this is, i think, maybe the best thing they ever did with his "protector" persona. it just fits so well, it is a direct conversion of ideals to actions. knowing undead songs have been translated for a deaf audience in canon is extremely wholesome and uplifting, even if it is entirely inconsequential for the story and just something that gets mentioned.

(now that sandstorm is out on engstars, you can check that out too for further mentions of this! if i could wish for one thing, it would be for the stories to acknowledge that there are tons of independent sign languages and i would love to know which one adonis and rei speak... you ever think about how adonis speaks like four languages fluently. at least.)

nightless city live, chapter 3

everyone in undead loved that and supported the vision. to see koga, who is usually against anything but musical performances and wishes to express art freely, praise the idea really puts deaf identity and accessibility in a great light. it is a very positively radical forwardthinking idea.

so, i just wanted to mention that. adonis is treated horribly by the narrative a lot, it entirely fails to grasp his identity and is insensitive towards foreign cultures, but i would die for him i think.

finishing thoughts

like mentioned, please absolutely let me know if you have different related ideas or recommendations. or corrections, or worries over something i wrote!!! learning and improving is always great. i am sorry i could not get into so many other characters, the ones i wrote about are those that i feel confident enough to comment on. in the future i would love to meet maguro!! i just havent really read any mama stories at all :'''3

i feel like i barely said anything at all and barely engaged with text enough since i didnt get into any character specifically. i would love to write another post about ritsu or rei or both. a draft for it has been sitting around for ages (as did the draft for this post, lol) but i hope someone will find an interesting thought in here somewhere.

all in all, enstars is actually... surprisingly nice to read for the disability in there??? even if it is disappointing in handling many other things. of course, the writings not always ideal (i read hidden beast just the other day and the ableism in there took years off my life) but often its really nice. nothing hits quite like seeing real emotions and experiences through some metaphorical stylized anime lense, you feel.

anyway thank you for listening. i am actually for real done now.

[rakiah]

Hey hey! (^-^)/ How are you doing? Love your work btw, it's always for pretty and fluffy! (* >ω<) I just had a couple of questions, and the first one was: What are your tips for an aspiring comic artist? f(^ー^; I wanna draw some of my favorite scenes from my fanfics, and I thought it might look kinda cool if it was kinda comic/webtoon style? (-。-;) Like what's your I guess take on that and how one might do that? And what about panel style, placement, and size? Is that all up to the artist, or do they have a rhyme and reason? Sorry if this was too long. You don't have to answer btw. I thought I'd give it a shot since y'know. (*´～｀*) Anyways have a great day and keep of the good work! d=(^o^)=b See ya! (^_^)v

Hi!~

Pretty busy but fine and thank you! (//∇//)

That’s a big question and I’ll try to do my best! Explaining something that technic not in your native language can be uncertain so, I’m sorry in advance 🙏

First of all: Observe. Comics, doujins, mangas,… Just observe to learn how others do.

Comic is a narrative art so, the most important things in comic is the reading way aka the panels (the angles you choose), the speech bubbles and how you put them in your comic page. It’s really the first thing you have to put in your storyboard!

Texts in the speech bubbles are also veeeery important. Texts that are badly formatted is painful to read… Avoid doing cesura as often as possible and do nice text forms.

And please, if you choose a manga layout, do not put japanese speech bubbles, they’re really not suitable for western texts.

If you want to to a webtoon instead of a regular comic/manga, you have to thing your layout quite differently. Webtoons are more like storyboard for animation. Like a series of forceful scenes. Plus, you have to deal with the required format. I’m not pretty used to do some, I’m just working with a lot of them (I do the texts for them). I can recommend you Sweet Home (cw: horror, hikikomori) to see how the author use the long layout of the webtoon to skillfully instill the jump scares in their episodes!

A quick “how I do” to finish my blah-blah! ٩( ᐛ )و

First, I write my plot like a play (quick context for each act, full dialogues with stage directions) then storyboard. Tiny storyboard, I sketch 15 pages on an A4 page. Better global view. I can’t give specific advices on how to do panels (cause it’s something that just pops in my mind during my storyboard stage 💦) just keep in mind to diversify your angles especially during a talk between 2 characters. Don’t do a shot reverse shot, it’s just boring.

Then pages. I usually rework my storyboard at the sketch stage ‘cause I have a new eye on it lol

Also, don’t forget to think about the facing pages for the narration. You can do some fun page layout!

Tadaa! ✨

Hope it’ll help you and have fun with your comic! (о´∀`о)

[canonmisogynyvictimstournament]

PROPAGANDA

HOLY KUJO (JOJO'S BIZARRE ADVENTURE: STARDUST CRUSADERS)

1.) She's treated badly by both the creator, Araki, and her own kid and father. When people start getting Stands (powers) hers tries to kill her, which functions as an excuse to start the plot of this arc of Jojo. The explanation is that she's too weak and gentle to control a Stand of her own, even though we see Stand users who are children, babies and even literal animals. Yes, animals. Holy's son Jotaro calls her a bitch and disrespects her for no real reason aside from establishing him as a rebel/delinquent, and Holy's father Joseph hates that she married a Japanese man and follows Japanese customs (Araki thinks xenophobia/racism is okay from a heroic character, apparently). Holy's saved from her evil Stand, but it's never explained why she couldn't have developed it into something useful- guess she was too much of a weak lady to have cool powers 🙃🙃🙃

2.) In the story, stands are developed due to Dio, who is in possession of the body of an ancestor of the Joestar family, stabbing himself with an arrow and developing a stand. In response, everyone in the family line begins developing them. Stands are supposed to be a representation of someone's "fighting spirit", and typically the stronger your spirit the more powerful your stand. Josuke(the main character's mom) develops a stand early on around the same time he does, except in her case she is too "weak willed" to develop a stand properly so she's dying from it. Part of the plot is that they have to defeat Dio to stop her from developing a stand in time or she'll die, even though everyone in the family keeps their stand but her after they defeat Dio??? This compassionate, caring woman who's practically a single mother is dying of being "weak willed" just what the fuck. There is 0 reason for this and It then takes multiple seasons for one of the Jojo's to be a woman and it's just a mess.

Also apparently when people try to justify it they put it as it needs to be a "fighting" spirit in particular but do NOT tell me Holy wouldn't have travelled to Egypt to throw hands with Dio for her son just do not she cared wayyyyyyyy too much about him.

POPPY PIPOPAPO (KAMEN RIDER EX-AID) (CW Mind Control)

1.) Poppy is a fully qualified nurse who magical girl transforms into a cutesy idol girl! Haha - yea you're never gonna see her act as a nurse. She's just a nurse because that's a Woman's Job and gives a reason for her to be supporting our Male Doctors. She'll provide some bedside manner because that's what nurses (women) do and that's their whole role. But better than that, she can scream really high pitched and sing songs because she's an idol! The other characters find this annoying and all make their annoyance at her doing this clear! But secretly (and this is spoilers) she's the villain's dead mother who he turned into a cute idol girl so she wouldn't be truly dead. She doesn't remember that that well but now she has a maternal instinct towards him! And also he kinda considers himself her father so… thanks for that. Well, since she's his mother, she can be in charge of babysitting him when he's caught for his bioterrorism time. Oh, and she'll sacrifice herself for the good of the world in an emotional scene where the writer forgot he literally already said that she has a revive button they can just press any time because who cares. Anyway here's a contrived reason she gets revived at the end to have an emotional scene with the male protagonist. Oh, but don't worry, we let her wear a superhero suit like 3 times.

2.) Despite working in a hospital for about 6 years, Poppy apparently isn't a nurse. Every male character around her is either a doctor, doctor in training, former doctor; but no. Poppy - who has been working here for 6 years - can't be a nurse. After all, she's just a rhythm game character! Yes, our female character isn't human, she's just a cutesy little rhythm game character who loves to sing and dance! She's our little mascot girl to sell the character song CD! Isn't she cute? She does all those cutesy idol girl things so you'll fall in love with her. Of course, it's not misogyny for a female character to be cute and girly, but the fact that she can work here for 6 years and not be considered a legitimate professional because she's an female idol-themed video game character, kinda rubs the wrong way. Also that the only exception for a male character being a doctor is the CEO that she gets stuck babysitting because she's technically his mother that he killed and turned into a cutesy idol video game character. Now she gets to play mother! That's what it means to be a female character we guess. Then we have how everyone around her treats her or reacts to her. We have Kiriya physically flinching away and looked annoyed when she talks too high pitched. We have her being told off that her personality is too "stressful" for patients to put up with. We have her being slapped by our protagonists. We have her being brainwashed to join the villains, who strangle her. And then she gets to die for the man pain and be brought back immediately. Then we get into the sequel movies where we put a collar on her to condition her into behaving in a way her master deems appropriate. She gets turned into a dress-up doll for them to play with.

3.) I'm just posting an image and would like to highlight the collar she's wearing in it

[loveless-arobee]

Very angry rn and need to rant about bookish things. CW for aphobia, anti-lovelessness, and transphobia

I cannot with alloro people. Imagine listening to someone explain the plot of their book to you, a book about a loveless aromantic trans man, and your response is basically "why doesn't he fall in love at the end?"

AH YES THE MOST SATISFYING ENDING TO A BOOK ABOUT A LOVELESS PERSON LEARNING TO ACCEPT THEMSELVES IS "SIKE! I'M NOT LOVELESS AFTER ALL!"

Should he fucking detransition, too, and ~learn to accept herself~ since you're so up to erasing queerness??? That's the same thing!

Imagine hearing me explain how the whole fucking book is about Eliv learning to accept himself as loveless, aromantic, gay and trans, all at the same time, and thinking it's a reasonable response that he shouldn't actually be some of these things.

The whole fucking book is about him learning that he doesn't have to be a woman and wife, doesn't have to belittle his own sexual feelings, and that he doesn't have to love.

How the fuck would "oh, he actually does love!" be a satisfying conclusion after spending chapters learning that love isn't necessary? How the fuck can you hear about a book that is literally saying that he doesn't have to change himself to be accepted and liked and say "but why doesn't he change himself tho? :/"??? It would be just as fucked up as ending the book, after he learnt to accept himself as a man, with him detransitioning!

HE IS LOVELESS! The whole fucking point of the book is that he is loveless and trans and gay and aromantic, and that that is fine! GOOD, even! The whole book is about finding community without having to change or erase fundamental things about yourself!!

He will not "learn to love"! Because he doesn't fucking have to love anyone to be a whole person! He learns to be happy and accept himself!

Holy fuck I can't. I just can't talk to alloro people and non-loveless people about my book. What kind of response is that?

Fuck you. Honestly. If you wanna read about love so badly, pick literally every singly other book on earth, and leave me the fuck alone.

I won't tag this with anything but my book-tag, because I don't think anyone needs to read this. If you ended up here anyway, here's my stupid little dog in a stupid little pose to calm your nerves if this shit pissed you off, too. Hope you have a better day than me.

[mumms-the-word]

Bound by Blood - Ch. 2

Ch. 2 - A Test

Characters: Alistair, fem!Surana, Zevran, fem!Tabris, and basically the rest of the DAO crew Plot: Seventeen-year-old Nyssa Surana never expected to find herself a Grey Warden - let alone one of three surviving Wardens, one of which is her own cousin, Velle Tabris. She's the last person anyone would ever choose to save the world. Young, inexperienced, deeply anxious, and only just out of the Circle Tower for the first time in a decade, she's convinced she's as unlikely a hero as unlikely heroes come. But someone has to save Ferelden from the Fifth Blight...and keep her cousin out of trouble...and try not to fall in love with the charming Alistair Theirin, all at the same time. Three impossible tasks, but she's determined to succeed, even with the odds stacked against her. A/N: Duncan has returned to Ostagar. Nyssa seeks him out to ask if there is a way to save a man dying of darkspawn corruption. Duncan offers an alternative. CW: death, overdose, slight panic attack

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“Ah,” Duncan said, looking up and standing as she approached. His smile was warm. “My young friend from the Circle. I trust you are doing well?”

“You remember me?” she asked, a little surprised.

“Of course. Nyssa Surana, if I recall correctly. Irving spoke quite highly of you when I last visited the Circle. I am glad to see that he came around and decided to send you after all. What can I do for you?”

“I was hoping for a moment of your time, Ser Duncan,” she said, twisting her fingers together. Maker, why was she so nervous? She’d spoken to him before, though it had been weeks ago. “And…for a bit of advice. I’ve heard that men and women who have been affected by the darkspawn can be saved by the Wardens.”

Duncan’s warm expression turned slightly wary. “That is true…in part.”

“Then, please, can you tell me if this man can be saved? He is in the clinic, here in camp.”

He looked reluctant but bid her to show the way. She led him up to the clinic, to the cot of a man who lay writhing in obvious pain, sweat beading his brow.

“Please,” he whispered. His voice was dry and brittle like a withered wisp of dried onion skin, and the words were often difficult to understand. “Please…someone…gods it burns, it burns…”

He had been brought in two days ago, and now, after two days of suffering, his skin had begun to bruise badly all over, despite him never leaving the cot. Sores now festered around his lips and along his neck, and no matter how many times she tried to clean or treat them, they continued to grow black with infection. The skin around his eyes had darkened into deep circles and his eyes were cloudy, getting worse by the day.

“We’ve done everything we can think of,” Nyssa said quietly, still fidgeting, this time with the hem of her sleeve. “Nothing helps. So I thought…”

“This man is past saving, I’m afraid,” Duncan said. “The darkspawn taint in his blood runs too deep.”

“You can tell that at a glance?”

“There are notable signs to look for,” he explained, frowning faintly. “This man exhibits many of them already. I am sorry, but there is nothing I can do here.”

Nyssa looked down at the man again. He was half-conscious and starting to mumble again, restless, frenetic ramblings about burning and voices. “I see…I hoped otherwise, but I…I suppose there is little I can do, then.”

Tears stung her eyes but she tried to will them away. She had hoped Duncan might have a solution that would make this man’s suffering worthwhile, or at least something that she could try so she didn’t feel quite so useless, but no. This man was simply destined to die, and there was nothing she could do about it. It was so unfair.

“Maker, he must be so miserable,” she whispered, watching him.

“Indeed,” Duncan said softly. “It may be better to end his suffering early.”

She looked up, alarmed. “What?”

But he didn’t repeat himself. He merely watched her. She looked back down at the man so she didn’t have to feel pinned beneath the Warden Commander’s steady gaze, but she could see him watching her out of the corner of her eyes.

She pressed her lips together, trying to resist the chill that ran down her spine and the way her gut churned at his suggestion. She’d seen death before, and some scouts had even died while she was trying to heal them. But death was still new to her, and he was suggesting something else entirely.

“I can’t do that,” she whispered. “I can’t…just kill someone. What if there’s something—”

“There isn’t. This man is already dying. His life will end regardless of the choice you make. And choosing to do nothing and letting him suffer in his final hours is still a choice, Nyssa.”

Her hands began to tremble. “But I…”

“If you do nothing, and he does not die naturally, he will turn into a ghoul and attack everyone in sight,” Duncan said. His voice brooked no room for argument. He stated this fact bluntly and seriously and when Nyssa looked up again, eyes wide with horror, he merely held her gaze. “You have been caring for this man, Nyssa. You know he is beyond saving. Now it is your choice to make.”

“I…b-but I don’t…I have no idea how to k-kill a…” She swallowed thickly against the bile that threatened to gather in her throat.

She could feel a familiar and dreaded panic rising up inside her. Hands shaking, mind clouding over, breath coming a little too quickly. She wanted nothing more than to run away and hide in some forgotten corner or hole in the ruins, even as her mind also screamed at her for being so weak.

Useless. Pathetic. Can’t you get it together? Why did they even bring you here? Weak. Cowardly. You’re a coward and now it’s obvious for all the world to see.

She shook her head, taking a step back. “I-I can’t, I don’t know how to—”

“Do you not know any potions or tinctures that might serve as both balm and poison?” he asked. He could see her panicking, she knew he could, but he carried on their conversation with solemn sobriety as though she were not actively trembling in front of him.

This…this felt like a test. This felt like facing that spirit in the Fade again, the one she had faced in her Harrowing. Some part of her panicked mind was able to suggest that ludicrous idea, and once it had been said, it began to take root. She swallowed again against another wave of nausea and reached for the necklace she always kept around her neck. A few worn, carved beads hung there on a simple cord, each bead enchanted with little charms, and her fingers naturally found the one that had been worn the smoothest over time and touch.

A calming spell, faint but sure, settled over her, activated by her touch and a tiny bit of mana. She took a shuddering breath as it helped to slow her heart rate just enough to feel like she wouldn’t faint.

She was really about to do this. For what reason, she didn’t yet know.

“There is…” She took another breath. “There is a tincture to dull pain that…we have to be careful in administering. Too much and it will…” She shook her head, still fidgeting with the bead on her necklace. “But the Chantry sisters have never let me administer it because it is so strong.”

“Then you know what you must do,” Duncan said. “Now the choice is yours.”

She looked again at the dying man. He tossed and turned on his cot, his cloudy eyes open but unfocused, sweat dripping down his face. Each sore on his skin was black with corruption and his veins, she now noticed, stood out stark and black beneath his skin.

He was dying. Slowly, painfully, and surely. And if he did not die, then he would become something monstrous.

Duncan could kill him easily. She suspected that if she asked him, Duncan would simply produce a blade and mercy kill him himself. But he wasn’t offering and he had placed the choice in her hands instead.

A test. A test of what? She didn’t know, and she had no idea if what she was about to do was the right answer to the test in question.

Even so, she took another shuddering breath and nodded. “Th-then I…I will do it.”

She forced herself to turn away, to walk over to the makeshift tent filled with crates of potions and healing supplies, ignoring the Chantry sisters who were watching her with open suspicion. She knew where the tincture was stored, but when she reached for the lid of the chest, a sister grabbed her wrist and stopped her.

“What do you think you’re doing?” the sister asked.

“She is merely obeying my orders.” Duncan’s voice came from the front of the tent. He had followed her. The sister glanced his way and quickly let go of Nyssa’s wrist.

“If you require healing or aid, you can ask one of us, Warden Commander.”

“Thank you, but I’ve already employed the services of this young woman here.”

“But she isn’t—“

“I know what she is. And I have enlisted her aid. Let her do as she was bid to do.”

The sister glanced between Duncan and Nyssa, who stood there still feeling the fine tremors of her former panic running through her, combined with the jitteriness of common nerves. The sister frowned and took a step back.

“Fine. Maker guide your hands,” she said, and then added much more quietly, “and pray he doesn’t let you do anything stupid.”

Nyssa clenched her teeth together and opened the chest, removing one of the bottles of the tincture to dull and relieve pain. Then she left the tent in a hurry and walked back to the dying man with Duncan at her side.

Feeling the Warden’s eyes on her, she knelt and poured a hearty dose of the tincture into a wooden cup for the man, three or four times as much as she saw the sisters usually administering. Then, carefully, she lifted the man’s head and brought the cup to his lips.

“Here, ser,” she said softly, hoping her words broke through his fevered raving. “Drink this. It will…” Her voice broke. She swallowed and tried again. “It will help.”

The man blindly seemed to notice the cup at his lips and lifted a shaking hand to take it. She helped him tilt it back, watching him drink every last drop of the sweet-tasting tincture until at last the cup was empty. He fell back onto the cot, staring up at the sky, his mouth forming unspoken words.

“You can sleep now,” Nyssa said, tears stinging her eyes as she settled onto her knees, gripping the cup tightly in both hands as if it were the only thing holding her together. “You can…you can rest now.”

It didn’t take long. First, his body relaxed, and then his lips stopped moving, and for a moment he simply stared, eyes half-lidded, at the sky, his breathing slow and even. And then his eyes drifted closed. A few breaths later, he simply…stopped breathing.

She wasn’t exactly sure the moment when he officially passed. But she knew it eventually. Something subtle changed about him, something that innately told her that his spirit was no longer there, no longer present in his ailing body.

Duncan confirmed it by placing two fingers at the man’s neck and then nodding solemnly. “It is done.”

It was done.

Her first kill.

[lokiinmediasideblog]

Sigyn stans who wanted Sigyn to be Loki's love interest in the show have only proven that they've completely misunderstand the show's themes. The core philosophy of the show is all about fighting determinism, forging your own fate, and deconstructing what it means to be a Loki. And pairing Loki up with the woman who is his assigned wife in every iteration of the character, Marvel and non-Marvel alike, just because it is, to borrow terminology from another multiverse story, a Canon Event, feels like giving in to conformity. Loki falling in love with a variant of himself is not just a weird idea that the writers wanted to tap, it's a central part of the theme because it has never happened before and was never meant to happen and this is what makes it so disruptive and reality shattering, something you could never get with a romance between Loki and his Assigned Canon Wife. Sigyn stans keep trying to find ways in which the writers could shoehorn Sigyn in Season 2 with no regard for thematic consistency just because they want to see her bland ass be made canon at all costs, like having a love triangle between her, Loki, and Sylvie, of which Sigyn would come out victorious, as if LOKI was a CW show and not a 12 episode limited series with many threads to wrap up and no time to introduce new major characters.

The Loki series is the MCU work that has granted Loki the freedom to break out from his preordained self-destructive path culminating in a violent death. I have seen her stans be like "who is going to keep venom from falling on Loki's face?" and I am like, what if Loki never has to meet his myth-accurate (and sometimes comic-accurate) punishment? I personally like how shitpost-like the plot of the Loki series is. It's fun for an "Explain this badly" kind of game.

I really dislike Marvel's version of Sigyn and I feel bad for the mythological counterpart for sharing the same name. I hate the Sigyn stan guilt-tripping and ridiculous twisting into social justice discourse. There's the whole "you don't care about abuse victims because you don't care about a glorified prop of a comic book character." And "Gender-conforming women have it worse than gender-nonconforming women" which I take personally. I would give her the Poochie treatment.

[fallstaticexit]

To Continue -> 18+ Pillowfort(CW: Sex, Nudity)

AN: Alot to unpack but the only thing Nancy wants to unpack right now is the str*p, so we're going to put a quick pin in the B plot for now ;) Happy Valentine's Day! :)

Prev / Next / Beginning

Transcript under the cut

Nancy: [groans] No. No, no, no, what are you doing here? You can’t be here! Are you here to punish me? Is that it? Am I being punished?

Lily: [snorts] Jesus fucking Christ, Nancy. I assume it hasn’t occurred to you that we’re here for the same thing?

Nancy: Considering I made it a point to never speak to you again, I doubt that.

Lily: Never took you for the love ‘em and leave ‘em type. I would cry about it but I already know how easy it is to get you in bed again- Well, against a desk.

Nancy: [scoffs] How do you do it? How can you stand to just- continuously cheat on your husband, huh? Don’t you feel any shame? Remorse? Anything?

Lily: [laughs] You’re fucking with me, right? What are you talking about?

Nancy: [deflates] That’s why you’re here, right? To find another conquest? How do you stand to do it? Does the guilt not eat you alive? If there is some secret to this, I need to know because it shouldn’t have been you. If I was going to risk almost losing everything, it should have been with...with someone I love at least.

Lily: [carefully] That woman you came here with works for one of the biggest International drug trafficking networks in the world, and right now, as we speak, my husband is likely on his knees begging to keep both his hands and, more importantly, his job- the job you took from us, by the way- and you’re asking me how to get away with cheating?

Nancy: Yes.

-

Victor: Please, Boss, let me explain. I- I had no control over this. I mean, I did have control! I just—we had nothing to do with the Landgraab paying off my guys! This wasn’t an inside job, I promise you! I would never betray you, Boss Kibo.

Akira: You know why this business works so well, Mr. Feng? It’s because we hire white-collar types, businessmen such as yourself, who can move my product under the radar and sell to other high value clients. I took a small gang selling to junkies in the streets of Komorebi and turned it into a luxury company that caters to filthy rich Americans looking for a good time.

Akira: So, when my partner here informed me that we had product sitting in a port in Tomarang for months, you can imagine what something like that can do to a business. To my business. Do you know how hard my partner here had to work to recover such a loss?

Akira: I like to think I am a very compassionate man, Mr. Feng, but my friend here doesn’t like to have her time wasted, and well...we have to make an example out of someone.

Victor: WAIT! It was Nancy Landgraab! She’s behind all this! She cannot be trusted! She- she seduced my wife! She did! She’s been fucking my wife and interfered with the shipment! I have proof! She’s a snake, that woman! A snake!

Vanessa: What did you just say?

-

Lily: Well, first of all, our situations are hardly comparable. Victor’s father’s business was going belly up, and my father owed a debt to him. We were married when I was still in braces. It’s always been business.

Nancy: He knows about this then? About you?

Lily: We have both have something to gain from this.

Lily: We can make a name for ourselves here, in the states, and as long as I can have my pleasures, he can roleplay as a gangster all he wants.

Nancy: Can you even call what you have a marriage?

Lily: Christ, Nancy. Weren’t you born into wealth? What difference does it make?

Lily: You want my advice, right? Do whatever the fuck you want. Because at the end of the day, it’s your fucking name that has gold bars attached to it. And if you really want to fuck that redhead so badly, then you should do it. In fact, I wouldn’t mind-

Vanessa: Touch her again, bitch, I swear to god I will break your fucking arm!

Nancy: Vanessa! What are you doing!

[crowd murmurs excitedly]

Vanessa: [hisses] I’ve been trying to figure you out for weeks! Trying to understand why the fuck you got involved with this shit, and it’s actually worse than I can imagine because really you’re fucking Lily Fucking Feng? Are you serious?

Nancy: [scoffs] Yeah, well, I didn’t know Lily Feng was a drug dealer prior to the occasion- or you for that matter! So, shouldn’t I be the one upset?

Vanessa: No!? I didn’t lie about fucking other women, you did!

Nancy: It shouldn’t have been her! This isn’t even about her; it was always you, Vanessa! I don’t care about what you’re involved with. I don’t care who. All I want, right now, is you.

Nancy: I don’t want to feel sorry for wanting you. Not when I’ve waited so long for this.

Nancy: [panting] Take me somewhere...please.

Vanessa: I’ll- [swallows] I’ll call my driver to take us back to the beach house.

Nancy: I don’t think I can wait that long.

Nancy Narrates: [And from the moment we stumbled into that hotel room, I was hers. No one could ever take this moment away from me]

[bramblewatchescharmed]

Charmed 2018 Pilot

Thoughts on the pilot episode:

Even leaving aside the fact the CGI looks worse somehow than the one from the original series, you have so many elements taken from other CW shows and movies

There’s no real sense of danger for Maggie, Mel, and Macy

The writers seemed to want to combine plot points from the first season and from episode one of season four (with the introduction of Paige as the Halliwells’ half-sister) all in one episode

I hate that they get their powers handed to them by their mother unbinding their powers right before she was killed, and then EXPLAINED to them by their male English Whitelighter who has kidnapped them in order to do so.

Seriously, please explain to me how the 2018 reboot is more feminist than the 1998 original when the reboot has its Latina witches KIDNAPPED and MANSPLAINED AT by their white English male Whitelighter and the original had the Halliwells invoke their powers and figure shit out on their own

Granted, by the time Harry does kidnap them and they realize they have powers, it’s been…. a month? three? since their mom died, but… still. There’s way too much going on, and the reboot pilot relies on “Tell, don’t Show”, and… thanks, I hate it.

There is zero chemistry between any of the actresses, and you do not really get a feel for their characters as characters even before all the weird magic stuff starts happening.

When confronting the final demon in the pilot, they had to call for their Whitelighter who then told them how to fight it; otherwise they would have been dead within seconds because they wouldn’t have figured out in time how to use the Power of Three.

Good fucking Goddess, the Halliwells did not rely on Leo this much and vanquished their first warlock and first demon on their own.

Tbh Macy is the only one of the sisters who even comes off as somewhat likeable to me, but even when she finds out she’s a witch, she wants to figure out how magic works scientifically so she can win a Nobel Prize for it, and I just… Cool cool, it's so very obvious NOBODY who worked on this show did their homework with the 1998 series, because mortals finding out about magic on a large scale ALWAYS ended badly, and the original series had systems in place to prevent large amounts of humans finding out about magic and magical beings.

Very weird to me that there is a clear shot of Melinda Warren in the Veras' Book of Shadows. This is never followed up on and only muddies the waters if this was supposed to be in the same universe as the original, when from what we've seen of the magic rules and Harry's style of orbing, it clearly is not. (The writers later clarified that this was only an Easter egg for audience viewers and wasn't supposed to mean anything in-universe. Then why add it?!?!?!)

I'm laughing at how cheap their spirit board looks in the final scene. "our old spirit board" where did your mom get it from, Barnes & Noble ten years ago?

[yall-hate-kids-tourney]

Jane Crocker (Homestuck) vs. Anakin Skywalker (Star Wars)

Y'all Hate Kids: Screwed By The Writers

Propaganda below the cut

-

Jane Crocker (Homestuck)

(cw: brief mentions of assault)

The fandom blames her for the melodrama and problems in Act 6 and shit even though it was ALL the alpha kids who were terrible communicators and having relationship drama. She encouraged Jake to try having a relationship with Dirk even though she liked him too, she wants her friends to be happy even if she isn't. The fandom basically makes her the Stupid Bitch Who Gets In The Way Of Yaoi even though she quite literally made the yaoi happen. She's a victim of Act 6 being messy and written badly. Then we get to the epilogues/sequel. While she's an adult there, it's clear the writers just kinda hate her. She could definitely be a villain but they completely misunderstand her character in order to make her flat and completely in the wrong- even though some of the things she's saying in regards to Troll and Human society intertwining. It isn't looked at with nuance, Jane is just wrong and everyone else has to kill her. Like... hello??? If you're going to make her a villain do it right. Misogyny my nemesis. 

-

"Jane Crocker is initially introduced when, in order to win the game they have been sucked into, the original four kids travel to a universe where their grand/parents have been swapped with them and selected to play it instead.  She is the grandmother, now granddaughter of John Egbert, the first introduced character, and her hobbies include detective fiction, baking, wondering how to tell one of her best friends that she's in love with him, and avoiding frequent attempts on her life.

To explain that last one, she is the heiress to the Betty Crocker company and national monopoly, aka. Crockercorp, and has big plans about the good she can do when she finally takes power.  As she finds out in the game, the company is a front ruled by the Condesce, an alien queen from another universe who was gathering power on Earth so that she could leap into the game and thus take over the world it would create.  And she's happy to let Jane rule with her, so long as she puts on this computer and OBEYs.

After she is mind-controlled by the Condesce, Jane has little role in the rest of the story -- she is put to sleep and cured offscreen, and only shows up as a bit player in the final fight with no dialogue whatsoever to resolve her arc.  However, she does have one scene with her crush, Jake, while she is not herself that colours a lot of the audience reaction to her.  

Some context: During the game, she had chickened out during her confession to Jake, and he then proceeded to use her for relationship advice when their other friend, Dirk, succeeded in becoming his boyfriend.  After one of these chats where Jake reveals he forgot her birthday, she blows up at him for using her, which is the last normal conversation they have in the comic.

By the time she is being controlled, Jake is being held prisoner, and so with her inhibitions removed and priorities redirected towards Crockercorp, she tells him all about the future he'll have as her consort and repeatedly harasses and threatens him.  Because there is never any closure for this moment as both characters are shoved to the background, this is the fandom's last impression of Jane, which is used as evidence of her true nature whenever anyone needs to justify their hate for or demonization of her.

Although Jane has plenty of casual conversations with her friends early on that demonstrate her true character -- she is supportive of her friends to a fault, and is initially given the role of team leader but ultimately is too passive to fill it, one of the many reasons for her friends' frayed unity.  However, absolutely none of her traits and decisions are important to the plot, and her arc is dropped with her potential left unfulfilled, leaving it easy for her to be overshadowed by a single dramatic moment she had while explicitly out of character.

And that should be the end of the story, but it gets worse.  In 2019, Hussie released the Homestuck Epilogues, an explicitly ""dubiously canonical"" prose novel with two routes that many fans found so damaging and distasteful that they left the fandom entirely.  Between the book itself and the ensuing flame wars, the fandom was reduced to merely a fraction of its size, and most of the people now remaining belong to the camp that liked the Epilogues, or at least saw it as part of canon.

In both routes of the Epilogue, Jane, now an adult, becomes the authoritarian president of Earth C and coerces Jake into an abusive relationship.  This is worse in the Candy Route, where she is described as a fascist, declares a policy of genocide against trolls, regularly drugs Jake to have sex with him, and uses their kid to blackmail him into staying with her.  All of this ultimately causes her to be cast as a central antagonist in the HS team's ongoing comic ""Homestuck^2"" that continues off of the Epilogues.

All of this follows from an extrapolation of her behaviour while mind-controlled, which is somehow still applicable to her character once she is back to normal.   Now, the popular excuse for her mischaracterization is the backbone of current official Homestuck content.  And because her being an antagonist is key to the story, most fans of the sequel (which is now the majority of online Homestuck fans) have to buy into the justification for her actions in order to properly suspend disbelief and keep reading.  Thus, it is nigh impossible to find anyone who will engage with the canon -- and I mean /actually/ canon, not postcanon -- version of Jane.

Addendum: Although canon Jane is a teenager, I have to discuss how her adult postcanon self affects her perception and basically erases the original character.  Nonetheless, since postcanon Jane can hardly be called the same character, I don't think this affects Jane's eligibility."

Anakin Skywalker (Star Wars)

So poorly written for such an insane fandom that the actual child actor, Jake Lloyd, received enough hate mail to make him quit acting.

[terror77]

[ cw for sa mention ]

this post explains my thoughts better than i can and is really good props to op. i just wanted to add on my own thoughts because it’s been on my mind a lot, apologies if some of this is brought up later i’m not finished with the book ^^;

the thing that just made me sit there puzzled was that it feels so glaringly obvious that karen was SA’d as a teenager. her behavior changing completely, isolating herself for months, and her “claustrophobia” clearly being a trauma response stuck out to me so much and i don’t understand why it seems to be deliberately glossed over and ignored. her character is so genuinely complex and i connect with her a lot but it feels like to get anything at all you have to dig apart the narrative with your teeth and nails — in a different way than the rest of the book makes you search for it. rather than simply being hidden, her character seems to be meticulously removed, like instead of the writing being covered it was ripped out. at first i thought it may have been a conscious decision by danielewski to portray her in the narrative this way through zampanò’s eyes, with the way he only wanted attractive and young women to read to him, but reading further and further in from johnny’s POV the women have very little agency either, with every scene seeming to end with them makes advances towards johnny without him even trying. whereas karen’s characterization feels consciously misguided, any other woman in the story just feels like an accessory or plot device or meaningless sex scene.

since karen’s portrayal is in my opinion an emotional and relatable reaction to trauma that was never addressed and actively swept under the rug, even glorified and picked apart by news outlets, it makes me wonder if that in of itself is a coincidence or if danielewski had a particular reason to write the other women so badly. if her story was never even meant to be a portrayal of repressed childhood trauma at all and i’m reading too far into it that would be really unfortunate considering how much i’ve grown attached to her ;_; i’m not saying her dependence and constant returns to navy are because of her trauma, but it is something that i can empathize with.

if anyone has interviews relating to this topic, i’d love to read or watch them. this book is currently my main hyperfixation and basically all i think about but the way the women are written still sticks out to me

house of leaves is driving me nuts, mostly because its misogynistic as fuck and i seem to be the only person who’s bothered by that, at least according to the goodreads reviews i browsed. the women in that novel simply have no life outside of taking care of men but maybe that’s something that’s so normalized in fiction that people dont even notice it anymore. karen is barely even a character outside of being a lens to look at navidson through. i dont think danielewski understands that women are capable of cheating on men for the same reasons men cheat on women: because they dont respect them. karen must just be bored and lonely. she must secretly love navy so much that she makes a whole little movie just about him even after he’s ruined her life and endangered her children. the same way johnny’s mother who abandoned him must still secretly love him, so must thumper and the other lady who completely forgot about him until she suddenly remembered him again. all women do is love men, and if its not apparent they must be doing in it secret. if this book is an attempt to unpack the Unknown and the Uncanny, then women are excluded from that theme entirely, they are a known quantity always, always coming back to sex and comfort but never understood or analyzed the way the men in the story are. shrug your shoulders and never wonder why karen goes back to navy, back to the house after it nearly kills them all. she does it because she loves him, and why does she love him? because that’s what women do in this book, and thats all they do.