#basically the entire team is f*cking attractive in one way or another and is the source of continued awakening within me

[theinfinitedivides]

the Women's National Hockey Team in Chak De! India is a sapphics dream and i say that with every f*cking thing in me

[harrypotter-imaginess]

A/N: So this is kind of like the prologue to a Fred and George Weasley story I wrote several years ago, that I am currently rewriting. I think I actually prefer doing the “Would Include’s” over regular imagines, they’re a bit less pressure, and I can always expand them into an imagine if I (or you the reader) want.

The lovely @youreanangelbaby​ made a playlist for this series for her follower celebration: Spotify I Tidal

Imagines Series Based on this post:  Part 1 Here! / Part 2 Here!/ Part 3 here!

- You’re probably not from their house. You’re most likely either from Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw

- You’re a year younger than them, and a year older than the golden trio.

- It’s probably George that notices you first.

- You’re just this painfully shy, beautiful little thing.

- He feels this rush of affection, and his heart swell. He feels like he has to protect and guide you.

- So he ends up talking to you inside class first.

- “Snape’s a bit of a git ain’t he.”

- You just look at him with wide eyes, nod slightly and look back at your work.

- And then George tries to talk to you about your interests.

- “You like quidditch?”

- “Yeah”

- It’s the first word he’s heard from you.

- “Have you thought about trying out for your house’s team, I heard they’re looking for a Keeper.

- George thinks the friendship is pretty one sided until Snape calls on him in class one day

- “Mr. Weasley, what is a standard ingredient in Swelling potion?”

- “O-oh um-“ he hadn’t been paying attention to be honest.

- From the corner of his eye he notices you furiously tapping on the word “Puffer fish” written on your parchment.

- “Puffer fish.” He says without a second of doubt. And you almost smile, granted he probably didn’t have anything else, but no one has ever trusted you like that before.

- “Puffer fish eyes, Mr. Weasley.” Snape drawls. But George looks to you and grins

- You’re both closer after that. You help George with homework, and he helps you with quidditch

- Fred noticed the friendship, and half to support his brother and take interests in his interests, and half from curiosity, ends up befriending you through quidditch as well.

- “No you can’t stay in just one spot (Y/N),” He tells you, moving you a bit to the side.

- “But it feels like it’s risky to move in this kind of situation.”

- “If you don’t move goals you’ll lose.”

- Somehow, quidditch practice turns to sneaking out on weekends with the marauders map.

- “Where’d you get that thing anyway?” You ask

- George shrugs

- “Found it in Dad’s things.” Fred says.

- “So we’re going to Zonko’s?” You ask, and they both exchange a look before asking:

- “Where do you want to go?” In unison

- You can feel the heat creeping up your neck and onto your face.

- You’ve never had this much attention before.

- “I want to get fireworks from Zonko’s.” And then a quieter voice you admit, “I’ve never been.”

- At that George grabs your hand pulling you forward, while Fred pushes you from behind

- “Well now we really have to go to Zonko’s”

- Getting into lots of trouble.

- “Fred you’ve got to hurry up!” You mutter, looking around the corner as George stands on the other end of the hall looking over that corner, and Fred rummages through the potions closet.

- “And be careful! Snape’ll notice if anything’s out of order.” George hisses.

- Helping them brew love potion

- “So uh,” And you feel sweat form as you sit in the back of the empty corner of the greenhouse. “Who is this for?”

- Coming to Hogwarts, you’ve never had all that many friends. So the thought that one of your two closest friends may leave you to spend all their time with someone else, makes you a little sad.

- But you want to be happy in their happiness, even if drinking a love potion probably isn’t the best way to do it, so you put on a brave face and smile.

- “Mrs. Norris.” They say in unison

- “Excuse me.”

- And then they tell you their elaborate plan to get Filch’s cat to fall in love with Fang, and how it’ll drive him crazy.

-Despite yourself, you’re a little relived. And a little disapointed in yourself, you should know better by now.

- Knocking on their dorm window, as you float on your broom, just to tell them that you made it onto the quidditch team.

- “I’m sorry if I’m disturbing you. I was just so happy when I found out and I wanted to tell you righ-“

- They both pull you inside the dorm and give you a big hug

- “We knew you could do it”

- “I’m so proud of you.”

- The next week, you wake up and there’s this poorly wrapped pair of brand new quidditch gloves from them on your nightstand

- And you just start to tear up, because you know that they’re not rich or anything, and that they could spent their allowance on candy or pranks from Zonko’s.

- But instead they got you these gloves.

- So when you see them in the corridor, you grab them both into a hug.

- “I love you guys.”

- They’ve never really heard those words from anyone outside their family. They don’t really know when it started, but somewhere along the way, you started to make a great big home in their hearts.

- “I love you too.” George says it first, and gives you a squeeze back. Before he gets shoved by Fred.

- “Oi, why are you making me look bad?” Fred glares at him as his twin laughs.

- “You don’t have to say it back Fred, I ju-“

- “I love you too.” He says, the words roll out in a rush, and his face flush’s bright red. George can’t seem to stop laughing.

- “Let’s just go to class, we’re already late!” He mumbles, his face is lobster red at this point, and George and you move to keep up with him.

- “Since when do you care about class?” George jokes.

- “Since today!”

- Hanging out with them means your public profile has increased significantly as well.

- “Hey, who’s the (guy/girl) always around Fred and George?”

- “I don’t know, but they’re cute aren’t they?”

- It’s true, you’re adorable, especially when you’re laughing at something Fred said

- “Who’s the (Girl/Boy), who you’re always with you?” Angelina asks, and Fred shrugs

- “Thats (Y/N).”

- “They’re f*cking adorable.”

- Fred’s a little taken aback and just laughs. Yeah you are pretty cute. But it’s more like how he see’s Ginny than actual attraction.

- “That person you’re always with the new keeper for (Y/H)?” Oliver Wood asks casually as they’re changing for quidditch practice.

- “Yeah, they’re good aren’t they?” George says with a grin, he’s awful proud you made it on, especially since he and Fred basically coached you.

- “They’ve certainly got a pretty face.” Oliver says with a hum, and that makes George stutter to a stop. He feels a mild twinge of jealousy but brushes it off.

- “You fancy them mate?” He asks, a teasing grin spreading across his face. And he doesn’t miss how Oliver’s ears turn red.

- “You want me to put in a good word for you?” He says between howls of laughter and Oliver just rolls his eyes and shoves him away.

- “I’m just glad you’re in love with something other quidditch!” George shouts as Oliver begins to walk away.

- You probably have a small crush on Oliver as well. He’s older for one, and the other being that he’s very good at quidditch.

- Oliver doesn’t share emotions very well, even though the feelings are reciprocated.

- “You should quit quidditch.” He tells you after a match.

- And your heart plummets as he abruptly walks away.

- He meant that you should quit quidditch because you might end up getting hurt, or getting scars on your face.

- You took it as if you were a terrible player, and should quit while you’re ahead.

- Afterwards Fred and George probably comfort you in your dorm.

- “Oliver’s a prat, doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” George says.

- “Want me to turn his hair pink?” Fred asks and you laugh.

- The next week Oliver’s hair is lime green and he’s chasing Fred and George on his broom.

- “Sorry we couldn’t make it pink.” Fred says later, and you just laugh.

- The fact that they did anything at all is more than enough.

- You can tell them apart, it’s something you don’t even realize until the moment comes.

-You’re walking out of potions class, Fred ran to the bathroom, and you manage to catch up to George.

_”Hey George, did you manage to catch what pages we’re supposed to read, my ink got smudged.” You say, holding up your ink stained hand.

- George grins, thinking he’ll have a bit of fun.

- “George? I’m Fred.” He shakes his head, biting back a smile. “And you call yourself our best friend.”

- You look at him for several long seconds, and George can already feel the hairs on the back of his neck start to stand.

-”No, you’re George.” You tell him, looking back down at the parchment. “So did you get the page numbers or not?” You ask, and the entire moment’s so casual for you. 

- You miss the significance of it completely, finally waving down another classmate and asking them for the page numbers.

- George can’t hide his dumb struck expression. George, by all accounts, is identical to Fred. No one can tell them apart. 

- To be honest, since he was a small boy, he didn’t really see the similarity. Fred was so much bolder than he was, more charismatic and charming. 

- Where he saw himself as more diplomatic, a bit quieter, and more sensitive as well. 

- Since their childhood, the two could only notice differences between them. Though they shared some interests, they were very different people. 

- George smiles, of course you would be able to tell them apart. 

- They talk a lot about their family, and you find yourself a little nostalgic for a place you’ve never even been.

- When Christmas comes around, you get a sweater from Molly Weasley herself.

- “Yeah, it’s pretty embarrassing.” Fred starts

- “You don’t have to wear it-“ George is about to say, when he see’s you hug the sweater to your chest.

- “It smells like you.” You tell them, like honeysuckle and sunshine.

- “I love it.” You say with a giant smile on your face.

- Endless amounts of mischief

- And endless adventures.

[junker-town]

A fake oral history of Josef Martínez’s incredible missed penalty

On Sunday July 21, 2019, Atlanta United played D.C. United in a battle between two of the top three teams in the Eastern Conference. With the game tied at 0-0 going into the dying minutes, Josef Martinez, the reigning MVP, managed to win a penalty for Atlanta in the 71st minute. Martinez was the designated penalty taker, and going into the game, had scored 14 of 15 penalty shots in his MLS career. He was facing Bill Hamid, a goalkeeper, who only had a total of 5 saved penalties in his career. The result seemed a foregone conclusion.

Martinez set the ball down, took a few steps back and waited for the whistle. When the referee signaled for him to shoot, he did his signature run-up — it starts with a side shuffle, which leads to him doing quick toe taps while crouching, before running to the ball and doing an exaggerated hop that ends with him shooting as he lands — and then surprisingly, he missed. But he didn’t just miss, he ballooned the ball over the crossbar.

The miss was such a bizarre moment for one of the best penalty-takers in the league that some began to suspect that there was something more to it than just Martinez misfiring. The suspicions turned out to be right. This is the (un)true story behind Josef Martinez’s penalty miss.

Chapter I: Loomings

July 2002

Before Martinez was a star in MLS, he was just another kid in Valencia, Venezuela. He would play football in the streets with his friends, dreaming of playing at the highest levels and representing his country in the future. One night, his life suddenly changed.

Josef Martínez (Forward, Atlanta United): I remember it clearly. It was a cool, still night. The world seemed muted, somehow, stifled. I have my father to thank. He’d taken us well south — we lived in Valencia at the time — for a break from the city. Every evening until then had been a riot of noise. When the frogs fell silent the bats started back up, and I was still young enough to hear them then. That gift, alas, has fallen from me of late. Sometimes I still think I can, but ...

Anyway. That night. Yes. My father had heard that there was to be a meteor shower and had brought us all down to watch it. It was a gesture reflective of the sort of man my father is. He is kind, generous, wanting nothing but the best for his children. Unfortunately he was not an astronomer, and didn’t know to check the phases of the moon. I don’t know if we would have seen any meteors if the moon wasn’t full that week. But it was full and bright and — have you ever looked at the moon? I don’t mean if you’ve ever seen her, of course you have. But have you ever really looked?

Alexander Martínez (Josef’s father): Our cat had died. Run over. Josef’s mother told me to get him out of the house for a while and distract him. We drove south a ways. I made up some sh*t about meteors to keep him up at night watching for them. That way he’d be so tired he’d fall asleep. We were worried. But then he never shut up. Never. You know what eight-year-olds are like.

And then, for like two hours one night, he shut up. He was awake, but he wasn’t saying anything. Just staring. It was great.

Josef Martínez: That night I saw the moon. Not just her face, with which every child is familiar. I saw her soul, in silver radiant, drank down her scars and seams. That which men call ‘Tycho’ stared back. I was transfixed. A wondrous tide washed over me. You might call it a baptism. From that night forward, I had two loves: the first for my favorite club, the MLS’s Atlanta United. And stronger still, my affinity for the moon.

My father, good man that he is, was supportive of my interests. When I’d exhausted his knowledge of the moon, he gave me what he could so that I could learn more of her. Books upon books piled up in my room. I read between training sessions.

Do you know that Earth is the only planet of the major 8 in our solar system that has one moon? One moon for Earth. One moon for me.

Alexander Martínez: The moon? He may have mentioned it once or twice. But he talked a lot, that kid. For some time, he changed his name to “Hippolytus” and started making offerings to his “forever virginal Artemis”. I didn’t pay anything he said much attention as long as he seemed like he was doing OK. Well, except for the times he pretended to be a bear.

Chapter II: Going Aboard

February 2017

After playing for Carcaras, Young Boys, and Thun (on loan), Martinez impressed enough that Serie A side, Torino, purchased him in the summer of 2014 for €3 million. Unfortunately, he only managed seven goals in his three years there, and in the winter of 2017, Torino loaned him to Atlanta United, the newest expansion team of MLS, with an option to purchase him outright at the end of the season.

Darren Eales (Atlanta United president): Josef had already proven himself on some of the biggest stages in our sport and we were confident in his ability to make a difference in MLS. That’s why Arthur [Blank, team owner] brought him here. Our confidence in him was totally repaid. Looking back, I couldn’t be prouder of that decision.

Tata Martino (Atlanta United coach): Look, I had just dealt with Lionel Messi at Barcelona and at Argentina. I just wanted to be around someone who would be nice to me. Martinez looked nice. He didn’t look like the type of person who would glare at me so hard that my ancestors apologized for making my birth possible.

Then I saw him take a penalty in training. He looked like he was a horse throwing his rider. I thought he was possessed by the ghost of Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron.

Brad Guzan (Atlanta United goalkeeper): We were in training one day. Josef took a penalty. I went the wrong way and he scored, but the coach was furious anyway. He screamed at him to knock it off with the “horsey sh*t.” I thought that was funny. The goalkeepers laughed about it for a while. I called Josef “Horsey” for a while, but I guess it just didn’t stick. Maybe I thought it was funnier than everyone else did.

Tata Martino: I said “Knock it off with the horsey sh*t, motherf***er.” Everyone heard me.

Josef Martínez: In joining my boyhood club I had achieved one of my life’s great ambitions. Having worked hard to become a professional and attract the eye of Tata and United, I was very proud. But I knew that I could not waste the privilege — for what is my career but the product of mere serendipity? Even talent, thought God-given, is a form of mere luck — and that I’d need to keep working. And besides, Atlanta and America gave me a platform to cast myself heavenward. No country but the United States has ever touched the moon.

Tata Martino: What? The moon? He never mentioned anything like that to me, no.

Darren Eales: I think I remember overhearing him tell Miguel Almirón that he thought that Buzz Aldrin was a great American, which I thought was a little strange coming from a kid from Venezuela. But it’s not really that strange, is it? Buzz Aldrin is a great American. I used to say his catchphrase all the time when I was young: “To infinity, and beyond!”

Josef Martínez: The men of Apollo 11 were the bravest of the brave, the last great explorers mankind has produced. They brought life to an entire world! When I saw the moon as a child, she was alive and she was in a deep slumber. It was the Apollo missions which stirred her. I knew I’d soon be on the national stage. (Was that arrogant to think? Perhaps, but is humility in the face of one’s undeniable skill not a lie, and a monstrous one at that?) I began to devise some sort of tribute.

Tata Martino: I banned him from taking penalties like that. Josef was still the designated taker, but I told him that if he tried that sh*t in a real game, I would send him to work on the Transcontinental Railroad, like they did Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron. And Miguel Almirón would take over as the penalty-taker.

Josef Martínez: I knew that if I scored enough goals in the MLS Coach Martino would get off my back. So I did.

Brad Guzan: Sometimes I still call him “Horsey,” but he never seems to hear me.

Chapter III: His Mark

July 2019

On July 20, 2019, the world celebrated the 50th anniversary of the moon landing. The Atlanta versus D.C. United game was the day after, and though Martinez was disappointed not to play on the exact day of the 50th anniversary, he was intent on commemorating the Apollo mission in his own way.

Josef Martínez: When the schedule came out I was devastated. I had been hoping all along to be on television on July 20th, 2019. It felt as though I had been kicked in the teeth by a horse.

Ben Olsen (D.C. United coach): We knew it was going to be a tough game, especially without Wayne [Rooney]. I didn’t want to let him go, but my medical team said that the little injuries were piling up to the point where I’d either have to rest him or but him at serious risk. I couldn’t afford to do that.

Wayne Rooney (D.C. United forward): Wayne! Wayne wayne wayne way-way-way wayne. Waaaaayne! Wayne wayne.

Wayne.

Russell Canouse (D.C. United midfielder): We were there to defend and counter. Without Wayne we knew we had to play it close and tight and not make mistakes. Which is why I felt like such an asshole when I fouled him.

Frank de Boer (Atlanta United manager): Josef’s penalty technique is terrible. It’d be all right once, when you can expect to confuse the goalkeeper, but they know it’s coming all they have to do is ... basically what [Bill] Hamid did. Stay tall and wait him out.

Bill Hamid (D.C. United goalkeeper): I just stood tall and waited him out. Once he does that big hop he basically can’t re-adjust, so as long as you can react to whatever happens you’re in good shape. It spooked him so badly he mis-hit it over the bar.

Darlington Nagbe (Atlanta United midfielder): People think we used to suck because Frank was a bad coach, but it was actually because the first time he saw that penalty run-up, he was so mad that he popped a f*cking blood vessel. It was insane. They had to get his brother Ronald to coach us while he was in the hospital.

Frank de Boer: Do I have a problem with his penalty style? Yeah. But my doctor said speaking about it isn’t good for my rage.

Josef Martínez: I had worked so hard to get to where I was. At that time. At that place. Fifty years prior, men were on the surface of the moon at Tranquility Base. When I stepped up to the spot I imagined Neil Armstrong staring down at me. I’m sure he’s up there in spirit, and I’m sure he saw what I did.

Missing a penalty on purpose is the sort of thing you’ll get sanctioned for. But having a ridiculous run-up which everyone thinks will someday result into you hitting a penalty to the moon? Nobody asked questions.

Wayne Rooney: Wayne wayne. (Sadly) Wayne.

Josef Martínez: Obviously, you cannot kick a soccer ball to the moon. It’s impossible. Impossible. But as a metaphor, it works. It’s aspirational, evocative. A tribute to both of the two great loves of my life. I knew that the ‘miss’ wouldn’t matter to the result.

Frank de Boer: Had he not scored after that miss to win us the game ... I don’t even want to think of the things I would have done to him.

Russell Canouse: I felt so relieved when he missed that. We’d worked real hard for that away point and at the time it looked as though we’d really get it. We deserved more than those late goals. That sucked, man.

Frank de Boer: Why do you keep asking me about the moon? Get out of my office.

Darlington Nagbe: He never said sh*t about the moon to me until after that game and since that’s all he ever talks about. He’s being so weird about that miss. It’s like when you f*ck up a pass and pretend to be injured, except he’s doing it with his whole brain or something. It’s the moon. Who gives a sh*t?

Josef Martínez: Darlington said that? Unfortunate. Does he not even care that the moon was once a ball of magma? That some the dark patches on its near-side are sites of its former lava seas? Mare Vaporum, Mare Marginis, Mare Crisium, Mare Australe. What about the fact that the moon’s gravitational pull is the cause of the rise and fall of Earth’s ocean tides? What about its pull on my heart? Why doesn’t he care about my heart?

Brad Guzan: It was all right in the end. We got the win. Horsey got his goal. No harm done.

Josef Martínez: In the end, I think Neil liked it.