#bbb.longpost

[your-bigender-big-brother]

Let's see some support for:

Boygirls and girlboys

Turigirls and lesboys

Genderless gays and lesbians

Nonbinary gays and lesbians

Agender men and women

Nonbinary people who feel connected to the binary

Gay and bi agender people

Multigender people who don't know their genders

Quoigender people who do know their gender

Boys who aren't men and girls who aren't women

Xenogender trans men and women

Transfeminine men and transmasculine women

Butches and femmes that don't relate to the binary

He/Him girls and she/her men

They/Them users who are not nonbinary

Genderfluid people who only present one way

Nonbinary people who reject gender alignment

Bigender people who have one binary gender

Transneutral people who don't want to be referred to in a neutral way

People with multiple names and pronouns just for fun

Feminine and masculine gendervoid people

Dysphoric people who don't want to transition

Nondysphoric people with transition goals

Non-xenic people who use microlabels

Xenogender people who use broad labels

Genderhoarders with only one gender

People who only collect one type of gender

Multigender people whose genders are all very similar

People with one gender made up of several parts

Gender-confused individuals

People who change labels very frequently

People who go back to old labels

Agender people aligned with multiple genders

Pangender people with a preference for how they're viewed

Binary people aligned with abstract gender concepts

Binary-aligned xenogender individuals

People who are abinary and gender nonconforming

People whose pronouns have nothing to do with their gender

It/Its pronoun users

People who occasionally never use pronouns

And of course, any and everyone in between!

- Your Bigender Big Brother 💙💚

[your-bigender-big-brother]

Setting the “Gender Mood”

When we have genders that shift or change, we do things to accommodate those changes. For some people, that means dressing to present as their current gender or taking on pronouns that reflect it. But let's look at some more  unconventional ways to "set" the gender mood for ourselves.

How to set the mood

♥ Separate genders into theme songs:

Make a playlist on your phone or even several playlists.

Choose a song to be your Gender Song for the day.

Play your Gender Song while you try out the other things on this list.

♥ Change decor to reflect gender:

String up some colored lights.

Organize your desktop.

Paint something and then hang it up.

 Rearrange your belongings by color.

Decorate with less obvious things like plants or figurines.

♥ Incorporate gender with spirituality:

Make a gender altar dedicated to your gender.

Find spells or prayers that fit how you feel or what you want.

♥ Make a gender to-do list:

Write up some goals that are tied to your gender.

 Incorporate clothes, makeup, hairstyles, vocal changes, etc.

Try coming up with ways to be more masculine, feminine, or neutral even if it's just in how you walk or what hobbies you engage in.

♥ Engage in sensory input:

Play with sights, sounds, tastes, etc.

Have a soft gender? Try keeping soft things nearby, like blankets.

♥ Practice your own pronouns:

Write down some practice sentences using your name and different pronouns. 

Say your pronouns out loud as if you're someone else talking about you.

♥ Genderize your social media*:

Set your status to something that reflects how you feel.

Change the pronouns in your bio.

Change your profile picture or icon.

Change your profile header or banner.

Live-post about your gendered feelings.

♥ Color coordinate:*

Paint your nails different colors.

Wear clothes with a certain color palette.

Try changing something subtle like your shoelaces.

♥ Watch media that resonates with you:

Imagine yourself as a specific character.

Watch or rewatch moments that feel like you were there.

♥ Play dress-up with yourself*:

Try out new clothes and check yourself out in the mirror.

Take selfies and see what looks best.

Put on several types of outfits and remember which ones you really liked.

♥ Roleplay with friends:

Start a DM with a friend or two and have them call you by a certain name or pronouns.

Go back to your chosen piece of media and pretend to be a character who has your gender, name, or pronouns.

Roleplay as an animal if you'd like.

*Don't do anything that might out you to people who don't accept your identity. Keep things subtle and keep yourself safe. You can try out some of the less conspicuous ideas listed above, such as making yourself a playlist or watching certain types of media. You can even try to make yourself a private Twitter or Tumblr account if you know you won’t be discovered. The other things can be done away from home and with friends if you know you can do it safely.

♥ Having trouble figuring out what colors to use? Try out the color palettes listed below to tie them to different feelings of gender. A good go-to is to use colors from a specific pride flag to represent a gender.

Nonbinary - yellow, white, purples, black, gray, orange

Genderless - dark colors, gray, black, greens

Multigender - one color for each, a rainbow, or blended colors (such as teal or magenta)

Demigender - grays, pastels, white

Maverique - yellow, red, orange, white

Man - blue, indigo, red, brown

Woman - pink, lavender, yellow, pale green

[your-bigender-big-brother]

Looking for a neutral name? I’m thinking about names right now. Let’s make a huge list of gender neutral names! They’re all below the cut and I encourage suggestions! (Many spelling variations are not included because those are up to the user to decide.)

Please know that there is a very long list under Keep Reading!

Adair

Aden

Aeden

Aer

Aether

Aiden

Air

Aire

Alex

Alyx

Amethyst

Apricot

Arden

Argyle

Ash

Aspen

Aster

August

Auxin

Avery

Ax

Axe

Axialis

Axis

Ayden

Azimuth

Bae

Beck

Berrie

Berry

Biblo

Birch

Bird

Blu

Blue

Blake

Borage

Bracket

Brynn

Cadmium

Calyx

Camden

Canary

Canter

Carson

Casey

Cherry

Clover

Colby

Copper

Coron

Cosmo

Cove

Crow

Cuperton

Cuprum

Curve

Dakota

Dalton

Daryl

Day

Deck

Ether

Ethereal

East

Easy

Ellery

Elm

Ember

Emerson

Everest

Extra

Faven

Fig

Finch

Fir

Flair

Flaire

Fur

Future

Garnet

Gibbous

Goby

Gray

Grey

Hale

Hark

Harper

Hart

Haven

Hayden

Hayes

Heart

Helium

Henley

Hickory

Hive

Honey

Hum

Hyperbola

Hypernova

Iggy

In

Indie

Indigo

Ink

Inkwell

Jae

Jay

Jey

Jules

Juniper

Jupiter

Justice

Kap

Kapree

Kay

Keelan

Kelp

Kendall

Kennedy

Kestrel

Kilo

Kris

Lair

Laire

Landish

Lane

Lapis

Lark

Lavender

Legion

Lennon

Lennox

Lev

Lex

Lime

Locust

London

Loop

Lore

Luck

Lumen

Luster

Lustre

Lutra

Lux

Lynx

Lyric

Maple

March

Mare

Marlow

Mars

Mass

Mauve

Mercury

Milli

Moo

Moon

Muni

Neptune

Neutrix

Nine

Noon

North

Nova

Oak

Oar

Onyx

Opal

Orange

Orion

Packett

Paralax

Parker

Parsec

Patton

Pearl

Peridot

Perihelion

Petri

Peyton

Phoenix

Pigeon

Pine

Plum

Plume

Pluto

Presley

Pulsar

Purple

Pyramid

Pyre

Pyro

Quark

Quasar

Quincy

Quinn

Quint

Raine

Ram

Ramsay

Rayn

Rayne

Reagan

Rebel

Reese

Remington

Remy

Rey

Radley

Ridley

Rigby

Riley

Rin

River

Roan

Rook

Root

Rowan

Rub

Ruby

Rune

Ryder

Sage

Salem

Sapphire

Saturn

September

Shiloh

Silver

Sky

Skye

Skylar

Skyler

Solar

Solaris

South

Sphere

Squid

Star

Sun

Tailor

Tar

Tare

Tayler

Taylor

Taylore

Teagan

Terabithia

Thyme

Time

Tobi

Tobie

Toby

Trapezoid

Tree

Tri

Triangle

Tuber

Tucket

Twinkle

Tyad

Tyr

Tyre

Umbra

Under

Uni

Ursa

Vale

Valor

Value

Vapor

Veil

Vine

Vio

Wane

Wax

West

Wick

Willow

Wothen

Wren

Wylie

X

Xap

Yam

Yarn

Yarrow

Yawn

Yellow

Yield

Yoshi

Zap

Zappi

Zappy

Zenith

Zev

Ziggy

Zylith

[your-bigender-big-brother]

Hey Big Brother..

I've been experiencing a lot of dysmorphia recently and I wanted to know if you had any tips for looking more androgynous. I'm AFAB and I really am struggling to have some gender euphoria in my life.

Hello, anon! While I may leave a lot of this to the followers to make some suggestions, I think I know of a few things.

Obvious, a big thing in gender presentation (besides clothes) is the hair. My suggestion is a hairstyle or haircut that does not make the face look too rounded, so sharper edges and squared off sideburns. If your hair can't be cut, there's a way you can tie it back and tuck it up into a hat. Certain hats are great for an androgynous look, like the one I wear all the time (which I can't find the name of.)

Clothes! Uhh. Basically, your body is clay and you want to shape it a certain way, and some clothes will do that better than others. You're basically moving shapes around. You want to take the focus off of your chest, so it's ideal not to have patterns that draw attention to the chest (You can see the "bump" in the pattern around your chest, so stripes aren't always ideal but that depends on if you wear a binder or have a looser fitting shirt.) Placing more emphasis on the shoulders can help the look lean more masculine (I know the issue with androgynous fashion is that it's basically masc-lite, but I'm specifically using masculinity here to pull away from all the specific features you would want to tone down.) You want a straight-cut top or jacket or whatever that doesn't have that "curvy" look to it, because it'll place more emphasis on the hips. Straight-cut pants will help the overall shape look less curvy. V-necks don't work so well unless you have a "boxy" chest, otherwise it emphasizes the chest.

Did I mention I'm bad at fashion and how human bodies work? I can really only go off of what I see in androgynous fashion and what I think works really well. I basically view it all in shapes. You're aiming for a specific silhouette. As in, if you were to black out all your features and only see your shape like a shadow, you would want that shape to have a certain outline.

Below the cut are a ton of reference photos I found that really look good. They were very well-hidden amongst photos of women in pantsuits with heels and light makeup, which was not what I was looking for but seems to be very prevalent in the "androgynous fashion" search results. Note the body shapes and the use of hair to compliment facial features. Some people may need light makeup to create a certain face shape or they may need to use a hairstyle to get the desired results. Also, rolled pants cuffs seem to be very popular in this fashion for some reason. I guess it just works well.

Enjoy! I encourage followers to also suggest some things, because I was never really good with fashion and gender presentation. I basically wear whatever makes my gender happy. 💙💚

[your-bigender-big-brother]

hi big brother. im the anon who asked about "saying im not a woman cos im not feminine etc"

im... thank you for your response, and the responses of the other people who responsed. im just... trying to figure myself out ao if its alright, i wanted to ask another question.

ive been questioning myself alot genderwise. i dont have a problem being a woman, as difficult as it may be sometimes, but i do also feel some dysphoria.

sometimes, i feel a sort of ringing inside me that says "you're a guy. youre a guy. youre a guy" but i know i dont want to be a guy in a binary way. what i feel is more like... agender guy, but besides those brief and few instances, im ok with being a woman. though... ig in an agender way? but part of me is just like "youre just dealing with internalised misogyny. not feeling feminine doesn't make you not a woman. you are a woman regardless of what you feel because that's what you are"

I'm sorry if im just repeating myself but i dont know what to think anymore. how do i deal with this?

My suggestions: 1. Take a breath and let go of the worry. 2. Love the complicated parts of yourself.

We tend to obsess over getting it right, over being sure about ourselves, over finding the perfect label that fits our experiences. Sometimes, our experiences are very complicated, but that's what makes us unique. We all have unique stories to share with each other. And I think it's fascinating when I meet someone who says that their gender is complex and doesn't really have a word for it. It makes me feel better about my own gender, which I haven't quite found a word for other than the very broad "bigender".

Broader terms work. Being torn between multiple genders can be bigender, trigender, pangender, genderfluid, demigender... And you don't have to know exactly what your genders are, if there are more than one. A lot of people will say "I'm bigender, but I can't quite pinpoint that second gender. I know it's there, but I don't know what it is." And that's perfectly normal. You can even just call yourself "nonbinary" and not have to specify what they means.

I would get involved in communities that use those broader terms and ask people what their experiences are. You'll likely find out that a lot of people are nonbinary, but it means a thousand different things for other people. Talk to people who are guys in a nonbinary way. Talk to people who are men with complicated experiences with womanhood, men who are agender, agender people who feel a little bit like men, people who are confused between their manhood and their womanhood. You may find people who are struggling to find the perfect label, and you may find people who only want to use a broad label for themselves. There's a lot out there!

My personal experience is this: I realized I'm not a guy in a binary way. I started calling myself a demiboy. But then I realized I like feminine things. And I spent a lot of time obsessing over finding a label for nonbinary men who are feminine but also sometimes neutral or masculine. That's very complicated and I never found a word that fits. I chose the bigender label because my gender definitely has two parts: Male, and something else that's hard to pin down. I'm at peace knowing that I don't have to find that other part or find the perfect label to encompass all these layers of identity that I experience.

Self-discovery is a journey, not a destination. You'll always find new things about yourself and labels can always change over time, no matter how sure you are.

- 💙💚

[your-bigender-big-brother]

Hello! I am about to spam ask responses. Someone wanted to show off the flag they've made and I would like to showcase them

If you haven't already, please filter out the tags "long post", and on top of that I'll add the tag "bbb.longpost" for you to filter.

I'll be responding to those asks hopefully within the next hour.

- 💙💚