#bc im gonna make a bunch of version of these as i grow more comfortable with his character

[timelords-angel-is-sherlocked]

last week I had top surgery and while recovering I binge watched amphibia and I'm obssesed with the hcs of everyone being trans. I've specifically been obssesed with Sasha so here are my general headcanons for them, their life, and their gender identity:

life pre amphibia:

-Sasha's dad works in some sort of office job in the city. Her mom is a lawyer.

- Her parents divorced her first year of middle school. Her mom has full custody while her dad has supervisored family visits

- Anne and Marcy were one of the few constants in their life, so Sasha did what she could to keep them in her life which subsequently led to her being controlling and manipulating (tactics they picked up from her parents)

- Sasha's mom wasn't a bad person but that didn't mean she was a good mom. she wasn't present in her child's life and this made Sasha act out to feel seen

- petty crime like shoplifting was sasha's go-to when she was bored. but it wasn't satisfying to her so she looked elsewhere to spend her time. she signed up for cheerleading

- being head cheerleader got her mom's attention so Sasha worked her ass off to be the absolute best at it

- tennis practice would often end at the same time cheer practice did so sometimes Sasha would go to Anne's for dinner

during amphibia:

- the only things Sasha knew as fact in this bizarre world she was prisoner in: 1. her friends were trapped here too 2. only those with a strong will to survive will make it out

- oddly enough, being called "The Creature" and being referred to as "it" made Sasha feel some sort of way

- when Grime asked Sasha what they want to be called, she accidentally almost said the Creature was fine. she ended up telling him to call her lieutenant for now. he shrugged and went with it

- when being fit for armor, Sasha's heart started to thump in her chest. she could choose any appearance she wanted. any name she pleased. no one knew her here. they could create any identity they pleased

- sasha decided she would go by they/she pronouns. the toads supported their decision with ease

- hanging off the cliff, looking into Anne's eyes, Sasha thought about their life and her friendship with Anne. the Plantars were desperately trying to pull Anne up but the tower was crumbling and it was at this point Sasha realized all they've ever done is drag Anne down. taking a deep breathe and memorizing Anne's face, Sasha let go and hoped in her next life she'd be a better person

- living with Grimes in hiding was horrible because it left her time alone with her thoughts and feelings. she threw herself into training and thanked Frog there were no mirrors accessible to her.

- they would run a finger on the scar over their face before bed until the scab peeled

- as they grew more confident in their body and ability of a warrior, they started going be he/they pronouns

- dual wielding was absolutely their favorite thing on the planet. he would practice with his swords every single day until his arms couldn't bare it anymore

- Grimes called Sasha their son once and he broke down crying almost stabbing himself with their sword. Grimes didn't know what to do so he awkwardly patted their shoulder

- Sasha didn't necessarily miss her parents or her life on Earth. he had all she needed on Amphibia: his best friends and a sense of belonging

- if he was being honest with himself, he was starting to resent the idea of going back to Earth. Grimes really was starting to feel like a father figure to her and he and Anne were patching things up. after finding Marcy, what else would they need? they all had made a family and a life here. they would be safe and protected

- he'd have nightmares for weeks about Marcy getting stabbed and Anne going to the human realm. after a while, they stopped sleeping and threw himself into training the rebellion

- Sasha was rarely alone. but when he was, he'd think of Marcy and Anne. while he did feel betrayed, they understood where Marcy was coming from. for a moment there, he was about to trap them all on amphibia, after all

- Grimes had once asked them if they were going to change their name. he had offered a wide variety of names from his own family and warriors from toad history. Sasha would try a couple in private, but he was too preoccupied on the war and Marcy and Anne to care abt a name

- arriving on Earth and fighting a couple bots before holing up in their middle school had Sasha on the verge of a panic attack. being back on Earth was so disorienting, so confusing. on one hand, he knew Earth is where he belonged and where his family was, but Amphibia was his home, too. he had Grimes and the rebellion and he was so unconditionally loved and taken care of, they didn't want to stay on Earth.

- he half heartedly begged Grimes to ask him to stay. if Grimes asked, Sasha would stay no problem. the lieutenant would be needed to help rebuild the government system and act as security

- it was with a heavy heart and tears that wouldn't stop flowing that Grimes shook his head and pushed Sasha towards his friends

- "I will remember you with every beat of my heart, my son. Thank you for everything. We will meet again."

- Tears continued to flow as Sasha allowed himself to be dragged gently away by Marcy. He last view of Amphibia was Grimes waving goodbye with a proud look on his face

Post Amphibia:

- Sasha, Marcy, and Anne had to be picked up from an undisclosed FBI facility

- Sasha's mom threw herself at her child but Sasha remained emotionless and nonverbal.

- days went by and nobody could get Sasha to speak. ran out of options, Sasha's mom took them to therapy. Sasha spoke very little and left with two prescriptions of medication

- they had therapy every week for months. they didn't always speak most of the time. but they did make a little bit of progress on the days he felt brave

- Sasha's mom begged and begged, sometimes on her knees, for Sasha to speak to her, to yell at her, to do anything. Sasha's heart yearned for Grimes, for the comfort he found in their toad and frog family.

-it was on one of those family dinners they started to have. both of Sasha's parents were present. they walked on eggshells around their kid. Sasha knew the first thing they would say would be something their parents would remember after months of silence. he took a deep breath and put his fork down

- "I go be he/they now."

- both parents startled and looked at their son slowly. Mrs. Waybright nodded slowly while Mr. Waybright blinked.

- the family dinners stopped after that night.

- Mr. Waybright stopped going to his visits with his son

- "How can I make you feel more comfortable being home?"

- Sasha felt more open speaking now that he was adjusting. therapy was still a hit or miss and things with their mom were still rocky, but it was easier to talk now that he got that off his chest

- "Do you know where to get custom swords?"

- It took a while to be able to talk to Anne and Marcy

- It was easier to speak to Marcy about Amphibia and the escapism of it all. Sasha had a better understanding of why Marcy liked fantasy worlds so much

- after everything, speaking to Anne felt like too much. he didn't like to talk about Amphibia with her. so they talked about gender identities and k-pop

- "School is starting in a month..."

- "okay"

- he was homeschooled freshmen year

- Darcy left a deep scar on Sasha's back. he tried to hide it from his mom but she saw it six months later and nearly fainted. none of his friends knew about it.

- when he went back to school, he went to a private high school near the firm his mom worked at

- they still couldn't decide on a name. he liked a couple from Grimes' family but they weren't sure. at school, they went by their last name

- his mom helped him legally change the gender marker to "male" but since they didn't have a name chosen yet, their mom simply set all the paperwork for that aside and told him to let her know when they're ready

- he took advanced psychology to try and understand why he acted the way he did and why what happened on Amphibia happened

- he started testosterone midway through Sophomore year and was surprised by how sweaty and hot he was all the time

- Anne went with Sasha to by his first binder. they facetimed Marcy so they wouldn't be left out from such a big event

- after a year and a half of therapy, the therapist had come to these diagnoses: PTSD, insomnia, anxiety, gender dysphoria, and depression

- "I don't get how I have survivor's guilt when literally no one I cared about died"

- "You watched both Marcy and Anne die in front of you, yes? And Grimes lost an arm while protecting you?"

- "They came back to life I don't see how it matters..."

- on days they're feeling down, he puts on a sports bra and swings his swords in the backyard for hours listening to a playlist Grimes had made

- it still hurts to think about Grimes and Amphibia, but being more comfortable in his skin and having the acceptance he had there transfer to his life on Earth has helped him heal and feel better

- because of life and distance, he, Marcy, and Anne grew distant. they would still group call every couple of months and send memes, but they weren't as close as they used to be

- the five year anniversary of the portal closing, they met up in the desert. for the first time in a long time, they openly talked about Amphibia and the baggage that it brought. Sasha showed them their scars. Marcy talked about the medical issues they have because of what happened. Anne admits she recently started going to therapy again. it wasn't until early in the morning did they all fall asleep huddled together in a tent

- when Mars turned 18, they moved to LA

- it took some time to readjust to everyone but soon, the calamity trio were tighter than ever

- a year later, they all moved into an apartment together

- a good thing about working from home is that Mars could help take care of Sash when he was recovering from top surgery

- Anne was an angel when it came to emptying out the drains since Mars couldn't stomach it and Sash didn't always feel comfortable doing it himself

- Sash hated feeling useless and unable to help around the apartment but Mars would talk to him and make him feel better while Anne swiftly did the chores and cooked

- at the first post op apt, both Anne and Marcy held his hands as he took a look at his chest for the first time

- "Grimes would totally love these new scars"

- "I'm so ready to have matching ones soon!!"

- Sash always did his own testosterone shots. they were sacred to him. in a show of faith, he allowed his mom to do it for him a couple of times. the first time he let Anne do it, she sobbed afterwards and asked if he wanted to do her estrogen shot

- Marcy hates needles and always has Anne or Sash do their shots

- Sash loved Amphibia with his whole heart. It wasn't the perfect adventure but he wouldn't change a thing. while they're sure they would've loved staying on the frog planet, he's learned to be happy with his life now and the relationships he's fixed

this is rushed and idk if all of it makes sense but I needed a place to put my thoughts down. I'm so hyperfixiated on Sasha I'm going to rewatch Amphibia to try and get a better grasp on his character and his dynamic with Marcy & Anne

I made a playlist for transmasc sasha in case anyone wants to give it a listen 😫 it's got rock / punk influence on it and songs that come from my personal hc of him :)

[originlist]

give me a chara from my collection of dipshits and lemme tell u three ships for em // accepting // @memorylost​ gonna do archimedes in a diff post actually but. this is long and theyre all ritsu/dudes bc im hugely gay i guess. more women need to seduce ritsu theyre a good bf ok

1) robinritsu. robinritsu is real and canon. also endgame in ritsus mainverse. with charris robin especially i guess is where these are based off of but its just so GOOD. they’re both dweebs who are really comfortable with each other and who both kinda. accept each others flaws and know how to help them grow. ritsu tends to want to hang out with the servants who have low views of humanity as a whole, because (mostly subconsciously) ritsu feels like they want to have the people fighting for humanity want to fight for it. they want their servants to have hope for the future just like they do, and feel love for something that makes them want to protect it. so for someone like robin who always feels frowned upon, impossible to be close to, not the type of person to be loved and someone who distrusts and dislikes humanity at large, ritsus just “im about to be so open hearted with this fucker that he cant help but have some of it rub off on him”. and its just. its wholesome!!!! ritsu and robin are able to play around a lot and they trust each other So Much. out of everyone in chaldea, robin is the person ritsu feels most comfortable with if they had to put their life in someone’s hands. robin’s the only person ritsu tells when they’re feeling so burnt out in the lostbelts, and ritsus the only person robin’s let himself get properly close to and [me removing my heart from my chest] HGGH

2) ritsudantes. what i said about dantes earlier still stands. also ritsu is the vessel for the best possible “someone will die” “of FUN” ship dynamics and dantes fills the first half of that trope remarkably well. i love ritsu “i will use my inherent poison resistance to hang out with a dude who always talks about how his presence itself is toxin because i think he should have friends :)” fujimaru and dantes just being like. [leans in to microphone] against my will and intentions, i have caught feelings. you can tbh blame kirby @noirenfer​ for my love for edoguda LOL but look. i just think count deserves friends. and also to be maybe teased a bit by people like ritsu who physically cannot be intimidated. plus its canon that dantes cares a bunch about ritsuka and goes extremely out of his way to protect and watch over them while still being like “[scoffs] do i LOOK like a man who cares, foolish” and i just. i love that. its extremely cute. i shovel ritsudantes into my gaping maw.

3) ritsu/kotr. just in general, barring obvious exceptions like gareth (baby) and agravaine (does not respect women and we don’t give ppl love and cherishing if they cant drink that respecting women juice). im allowed to live vicariously through my muses right? and i want to fuck the kotr. if i cannot make out with lancelot du lac myself, then it’s time for ritsu to live my dreams for me. every knight is cute every knight is good. gawain? wholesome and has strong arms to give u  hug. bedivere? the perfect boy i would do anything for him and so would ritsu. lancelot? i would singlehandedly fistfight everyone whos mean to lancelot or calls him a thot. both versions of lancelot. i want berserker to [REDACTED]. mordred? very cute and i love his punk vibes and transmasc ppl with mord’s fashion sense are so fuckin choice and money and good. tristan? well he is there also I Guess. 

[regatton]

hey i would advise that you stop drawing genderbends while claiming to support trans rights, since genderbends enforce the idea that boobs+dresses=girl and a whole bunch of other cisheteronormative ideas

  i try to not reply to these because i think its useless and that theyre just dumb but i was making fun of discussing this in my friends’ group discord and!  im gonna take this time to say why i like them because im BITTER.  Genderbends arent some sort of transphobic “uwu if we put tits and a dress on them now theyre a girl!!!” kinda shit, its a form of gender expression.  Im not going back and doing my exact research or make it all eloquent bc its 1 am and ive got commissions n shit to do, but historically theyve been seen as a feminist idea.  Taking a strong male character and rewriting their story from the perspective of a woman.  thats what i like!  i love a lot of male characters, i just tend to connect with them more. I like being able to relate to them as women.  

  And ive gotten anons before that are like “why dont you just write them as trans women bleh bleh bleh.” 1. Because im not a trans woman. i dont have the same experiences as one might, and i cant pretend i can relate to what that’s like. and 2. i get called out for drawing trans characters even then, too.  Sorry lars, cant draw any more trans kaito for you, anon on tellynom said i couldnt :/ just cant win with some people i guess!

  i like drawing genderbent versions of these characters because i like being able to see myself in the characters i love. its super annoying to me that it’s getting called transphobic, as if cis people arent allowed to express their gender in their own ways.  And drawing genderbends have made me a lot more comfortable in my own skin and in my own femininity.  I was so in love with my gb dazai design that i literally wanted to grow out my hair like hers for a while hshshsh  and there are of course some less deep reasons: i like pretty dresses, and i like pretty girls. im just really really bi.  theres no such things as cisphobia, theres no -phobia i can blindly pull my ass to accuse you of.

  If you want to dictate how people should experience or celebrate their gender, trans, cis, nonbinary, anything inbetween or excluding, then you’re just an asshole with a superiority complex.