#bc oh boy let me tell you that all my sheith fics make me cry bc sheith is a great vessel to tell stories about trauma LOL

[monstersinthecosmos]

💔 for the fic ask. Because I know which fic(s) of yours broke my heart. :)

💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

Oh gosh!!!!!!

tbh I really emotionally immerse myself when I'm writing so like it is not uncommon for me to hurt my own feelings when I'm really in it. 😂

A few off my head:

Where My Holiness Goes, this one is recent but I was thinking deeply about the idea of Daniel being trapped in this relationship with Armand and how that looked/felt for him in that transitional phase when like, he perhaps was not as afraid of him and they were starting to feel attached to each other, but for both of them it's still filled with so much resentment. I visualized this fic as Daniel experiencing a single nice day feeling recovered, only to crash and relapse. It represents a lot of things to me, aside from just the literal abuse nature of the ship but also like any time we try to recover from trauma, depression, whatever ails us, and that feeling of it slipping away but also the feeling of "I have to deal with this for the rest of my life", which can feel so fucking daunting sometimes. So just like the process of having him like wake up, order breakfast, stare outside at the beautiful day, really fucking upset me while I was writing it because I knew I had to take it from him. 😂 sorry bud.

Sfaíra Ti̱s Fo̱tiás, this is just excessive Armand whump LMAO but also like IDK WHY VC FANDOM DOESN'T WRITE MORE OMEGAVERSE, yall are missing out because I tell you it is FASCINATING to worldbuild and decide how the lore interacts with vampire stuff. 🍿🍿🍿 But wow like it's not even about writing the fic but like the process of thinking that hard about that part of TVA is so upsetting to me LMAO. I can only stomach so much of Armand's friends blowing into his face.

So Falls the World is like my fuckin love letter to Marius because he's my fav but like, trying to explore his flaws through Pandora's POV as a person who acknowledges that he is very fucking flawed but who loves him anyway and has to really do some soul searching to be able to have boundaries with him. Writing this fic got me really emotional because like, on one hand I poured a lot of myself into Pandora because I was processing some Abusive Relationship feelings and like having a conversation with myself about how it feels to feel stuck with a deeply flawed, abusive person. On the other hand, I really relate to Marius as a character and it's really cathartic to write about bad characters being redeemable or still worthy of love despite how badly they've fucked up. 🥹

quinque plus unum, I think about this concept more than I care to admit and there's something like very emotionally provocative to me to look at these characters' traumas and try to figure out which parts of their response to it are innate to them as people and which are simply a result of the various incidents. Like, would Daniel respond to the cult in the same way, and what needs to be different to land him there? Etc. But like I have a lot of questions about how Daniel wound up with Marius in canon and like imagining Armand as this like wandering, lost fledgling was just devastating to me hahaha.

The Lotus Eater I WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT THIS TO SOMEONE TODAY but I remember like kind of meandering with this story by the time I got to the end and I didn't know exaaaaactly how I wanted to end it but then I heard this song for the first time while I was writing the last scene and I threw that bad boy on repeat and it dictated the rest of the story to me and wow I was devastated. lmao.

ANYWAY THIS WAS A FUN QUESTION, THANKS, I LOVE BEING IN VAMPIRE PAIN!!