#be so consistently disappointed and depressed if he weren’t first optimistic and hopeful which he is because he loves humans

[daringdarlingdt]

Out of Sight, Out of Mind is such a good episode. Maybe I just like it because it’s so totally Hawkeye-centric and those are my favourite but I love him being passed off from person to person, I love his general cheery demeanour despite the circumstances, and explaining to BJ—who’s projected his own coping mechanism of ~running away~ onto Hawkeye,—how the experience has actually taught him a lot and that even though he’s scared, especially given that being a surgeon is such a huge part of his identity and has always been a top priority for him, he has discovered that there’s an advantage to being blind.

I love how restless he is as well, because it’s classic Hawkeye characterization that he bores easily and personally I hc him as adhd and like the scene with Radar where he’s mid-letter then wants to try to juggle then gives up after one try and goes back to the letter in contrast to him explaining to BJ how he spent 2 hours just listening to the rain… like actually his temporary blindness gave him a chance to just be at peace and focus entirely on one very simple thing and spend the day being hyper-conscience of his surroundings. I love him forming a connection with the blind soldier in post-op as well. When he gets nervous after Potter leaves him alone in a room with no warning. Him entering the ER and being able to Smell a perforated intestine. The B-plot of Frank listening to the game in an earlier broadcast and then gambling on the result and cheating the rest of the camp out of their money, and Hawk and gang faking a broadcast to expose him. I also feel like the amount of nurse-flirting was in a sweet spot of being kinda fun and cheeky without being the harassment that it usually was in earlier seasons and thats fun.

Nothing really happens all episode except Hawkeye floating around camp hanging out with everyone, experiencing the inconveniences of his condition, gaining a new appreciation for lots of things he takes for granted, and just like. being himself and it’s a really fantastic episode. It’s funny and sweet without focusing on silly antics or having a heartbreaking anti-war sentiment. I love both those types of episodes but this works really well as a meaningful yet comforting character episode and I really appreciate it for that.

My only criticism is that the way he is temporarily blinded is so contrived. NO WAY is Hawkeye the only one in camp handy enough to fix the stove come ON we all know that man couldn’t tell a screwdriver from a wrench

[the-curious-butterfly]

A Little Bit of Happiness

Based on u-look-beautiful-today’s Soulmate AU. Basically you have a chart on your arm that shows you the happiness of others close to you as well as your own.

We’ve all known pain. Pure agonizing pain and sorrow. That void of nothingness where the darkness feels as thick as black tar and no amount of light can shine through. It is a feeling that even the most optimistic and hopeful of us have succumbed to. Especially those with big hearts. If depression could speak it would tell you that the big ones were the most delicious. And there was no heart bigger, or weirder, than Luz Noceda’s. 

Luz was a thoughtful girl filled with hope, determination, kindness, and a love for the strange things in life that left her quite ostracized for most of hers. 

As a child she didn’t like the typical things kids liked or acted in the typical way kids should act so she was bullied and what other reason do kids need to bully someone. She was different, and different was bad, and bullying her for being different was fun. And if something was fun how could it be wrong? If it was fun what did it matter?

And you know what the best way to bully Luz was? The way that was the most fun. It had to do with her lack of a Soulmark, the mark on your body that showed you the first words your Soulmate would say to you. Luz didn’t have one. Not a single letter or even the most generic of greetings marked her skin. Isn’t that just the funniest thing? 

“Wow, looks like you’ll be alone forever.” 

“No one loves you.” 

“Even your soulmate doesn’t want you.”

Oh how they laughed, and when one laughs everyone laughs. After all you didn’t want to be thought of as the weird one, as a freak like Luz. So why not laugh, it’s all in good fun. And besides even Luz would laugh. 

She’d laugh so hard that tears would spill from her eyes and more deafening then the laughter was the sound of glass being chipped away into pieces. But she was only 12 and this just the way things were when you were 12.

~~~

Now I wonder what you would imagine when you hear the term “perfection.” The term itself is rather subjective isn’t it? What one person finds perfect isn’t always what another would agree with and yet it’s often commonly used in the wrong way. 

So I’ll admit to coming off a bit biased when I tell you that Amity Blight was as close to the definition of perfection as one could get. Her skin a flawless porcelain and her eyes a mesmerizing gold. With short aquamarine hair tied up and not a strand out of place. It wasn’t just her appearance too she was incredibly intelligent, driven, and talented. Especially when it came to magic. At school she was the top of her class, incredibly popular, and very loved. 

She was no princess but she lived the life of one for her home was a mansion and while she did live with two very annoying siblings they mostly liked to have harmless fun and never truly made her life a living hell. 

So you can see why I say she was perfect, her life was perfect all the way down to the most minor of details.

Well there was one little thing that wasn’t exactly great but what was one little thing compared to everything else. As long as she did what was asked and kept up her image then she had nothing to worry about. 

Except today was the day she’d turn 13 and when she awoke she found there was something to worry about. Soulmates weren’t a common thing on the Boiling Isles, this place where she’s from. It was very rare to hear of someone having such a mark like those in the human realm but it did happen. And while it does happen she had never expected it to happen to herself but when she woke that day she was greeted to a word being added amongst the names of her chart. 

Soulmate

Oh...

No 

No no no no, Amity Blight could not have a soulmate. She tried rubbing at it with her other hand hoping with ever growing despair that it was a prank from her siblings but the mark would not come off. If her parents knew she had a soulmate, someone that was not preapproved by them, the amount of disappointment she’d receive. The thought alone was enough to have her shiver though the house was never cold. Never in that way at least. 

Though like I said she was intelligent, this mark wasn’t a prank nor would it go away, understanding at the moment she had no choice but to accept it. She’d figure out what to do when she’s met them but for now. Amity looked again at the word, and this time really looked for she noticed something she hadn’t earlier. Her soulmate’s happiness was only at 9%. Amity herself has never gone below 80% she couldn’t imagine being so low. 

Just seeing the number on her wrist was painful enough to have her 98% be brought down to a 95%. What brings a person down to 9%? What kind of life could her soulmate be leading? The distress from earlier turned into curiosity and she found herself wondering these things and more as she traced a finger over the word Soulmate and the number beside it. What should she do? 

Perhaps. 

Perhaps her siblings would know considering now was the time they decided to barge through her door yelling “Happy Birthday Mittens!” while using illusion magic to make their words form a banner that suspended in mid air. And no she did not squeal or nearly fall off her bed. 

“Can’t you two ever knock?!” even if she made up her mind to talk to them about it, Edric and Emira may be pranksters but they weren’t tattlers, and while them showing up here made it easier she still couldn’t help yelling at them for their blatant rudeness. 

“Awww, Mittens, where would be the fun in that?” 

“Yeah, especially on your birthday?” 

“Besides, look at this thoughtful display we made for you.” 

“One of these days you’re just gonna have to accept that you love us.” 

They spoke one after the other, beginning with Emira and ending with Edric. Amity sighed as she went quiet for a moment looking back down at her wrist. Still just 9%.

“Is everything okay, Mittens?” Em asked, always being the first of the two to notice when something was amiss.  

Amity bit her bottom lip before responding with partial confidence. “I have to show you guys something that I’m not sure what to make of yet.” The twins nodded urging her to continue, and after a moment she relented and finally showed them her wrist. 

If they were shocked at all they hid it well, their faces blank as they no doubt saw that word and just when Amity was about to worry that she had broke her siblings the two gave a very audibly excited gasp. 

“Mittens!” 

“You dog you!” 

“How long have you had this?” 

“Just since this morning.” Their reaction taking her so much by surprise that she could do nothing but answer their questions. 

“Do you have any idea who it could be?” That was Edric.

“Not really.”

“What about that one guy who always had the biggest crush on-” 

“Emira! Ew, no!” 

“Why ew? He doesn’t seem so bad.” 

“I just don’t feel like it’s him okay. Plus I doubt his life is that bad.” 

“What do you mean?” They asked in unison, and that's when they saw it. The 9%.

“Damn, your soulmate is depressed.” 

“Edric don’t even joke about that!” Amity and Emira warned, despite Ed and Em being twins her and Amity were still sisters. 

“I wasn’t! Like how else do you want me to say it. What if they decide to kill themsel-”

“EDRIC!” 

“I’m just saying!” 

He’s right though, Amity knew he was. She may not know who they are but no one deserves whatever it is they were going through. Whatever it is that has them at a measly 9%. So Amity made up her mind to donate half of her happiness. 57% might not be high but it’s at least better than 9%. 

Never having been below 80% she felt the effect immediately. Something formed inside her, something small and hollow that she just could not take her mind off  even though today was her birthday, it was suppose to be a happy day. But it felt so wrong and she was only at 48%.

She hoped she’d never have to know what 9% felt like. 

~~~

For some reason, despite the horrible day she had yesterday, Luz woke up feeling better than she had in awhile. Looking over her chart, which only consisted of her and her mom, she saw she her mom was at a good 79%  and she was at a 57% which was not bad. She remembered going to bed with a 9% so perhaps getting a good nights rest coupled with the fact it’s the weekend was enough to improve it significantly. 

That was the only explanation she could come up with anyway. She even managed a small smile when her mother came into the room. “Buenos dias, Mija, are you feeling better?” 

“I’m feeling much better, gracias mama.” 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Camilia asked sitting at the foot of Luz’s bed. 

“Maybe another time, I’m fine right now though te lo prometo.” She managed to make her smile bigger and her mother nodded. Luz had come home in tears yesterday, actually the third time this week, and while Camilia was desperate to know what was hurting her baby so much she knew when to not push. Instead she found other ways to help.

“Then hurry up and get out of bed, yo eso sancocho con arroz blanco para desiuno.” 

Luz smiled with glee as she got up and rushed out the door leaving her mama behind. 

“At least get changed first!” 

“But it’s the weekend!” 

“Mi Luz!” 

“Okay, okay.” 

She didn’t notice but the interaction was enough to bring her up to an even 60%

~~~

Since that day it seemed like no matter what happened Luz would bounce back.  It got to the point where she didn’t feel anything else anymore. They could do their worst and she’d smile, laugh, and be her adorable silly self. Not only that but she also grew more bold and unafraid to stand out or fight back. Something had completely changed that day, perhaps it was her outlook on life that changed, or that all of a sudden she found emotional maturity. Either way it was like her happiness never went below 90% and she, literally, could not be happier. Although she could do without having her mother feeling like she needed to send her off to camp just because she liked expressing herself differently. She understood where her mom was coming from but Luz was a big girl, she can decide things for herself can’t she?

~~~

Amity, on the other hand, had gone through her own changes. She’s been constantly donating her happiness for over a year now. Many times most of it, sometimes all. That hollow feeling never left, it only got bigger, colder, as if it would swallow her whole any second. And as she grew colder on the inside she also grew colder on the outside, more bitter. Her once close friend, Willow, now hated her. People who once loved her for her big heart now only loved her for her beauty, talent, or because she was popular. She became friends with one of the meaner popular girls, Boscha, and you better give them a wide berth or risk social and emotional damage. 

Even Ed and Em noticed their darling little sister didn’t laugh or smile anymore, no matter what they did. They really did try too, but things that use to get an annoyed yet warm sound out of her now only elicited hisses and growls. It didn’t help that their parents also recognized her change in behavior and became much harder on her albeit in their messed up way where they praised her for her actions. She was a Blight and had a standard she was expected to keep after all. Not keeping it meant she was a disgrace and a failure. Things that Amity never wanted to be so she drowned herself even more in her studies and preparing for the future. Further shutting herself off from the world. 

At first Edric and Emira tried to help, it wasn’t Amity’s fault, there was someone else she was trying really hard to keep happy. She didn’t even know the person yet she was willing to suffer so much for them. That fact alone meant their sweet little baby sister was still in their somewhere didn’t it? They even tried to donate their own happiness to get her back but she refused to take it. Eventually even they gave up. 

First thing she did when she woke up today was give all of her happiness away. It was slowly becoming routine now, to give everything. ‘But why?’ Her thoughts would plead with her. ‘Why for someone you might not even know? You don’t even look to see if they need it anymore, what about our happiness?’ 

What about it?

‘Don’t we deserve it?’

We have everything we could ever want or need and succeeded in becoming a protégé of Lilith, leader of the emperor’s coven and a powerful witch in her own right, just like we wanted.

‘Just like you wanted, or your parents wanted?’ 

She hissed to silence the voices inside, after all what difference did it really make, as she got ready for the day. They were given a project that Amity intended to pass with flying colors. Not that it would be hard, no one else in that class or the whole school had half the skill she did.

Especially not Half-A-Witch who she had the pleasure of bumping into on the way to school. Oh this will be fun, Willow had no talent for magic and her parents always did say that people with no talent were pathetic in their eyes. They were right of course, she did not regret the loss of that friendship at all. 

Speaking of eyes, Amity never did notice the pair of disappointed brown orbs watching them from the bushes. 

“Willow! Wow you’re so unnoticeable I almost rolled into you.” 

“Hi Amity.” 

“Shouldn’t you get to class early to prep your-” Before she could finish Willow’s wheelbarrow shook and her abomination spilled from the pot like sticky purple liquid on the ground. “Oh Willow, you don’t have anything to show do you.” 

It doesn’t feel good to put people down, it doesn’t make her feel superior or strong. It doesn’t do anything for her but her parents would be proud and what’s wrong with that? Isn’t that what every child strives to do?

Willow looks really hurt though. 

“...Except much smaller and meaningless.”

I’m sorry Willow.

“...Even you can get a passing grade some day.”

I’m sorry. 

There go the unwanted thoughts again but those kinds of thoughts were slowly getting easier to ignore. It should have disturbed her how use to the cold she had become.

~~~

Okay so I thought this was getting a bit lengthy so I figured I’d do it in parts. Besides I’m really excited by what we’ll learn from the episodes coming out tomorrow and I may change stuff based on what we’re shown of Amity’s history. 

Gosh, I can’t sit still with how much I can’t wait for it. Anyway for those who managed to read through this whole first part thanks for taking the time to read it. See y’all tomorrow ^u^