#beard wrote this for ted :'))

[coachbeards]

my reminder to everyone that since we saw ted toss beard his blt from his backpack, this "HAPPY SURPRISE SANDWICH FRIDAY!" bag was.........................made by beard. he brought this to work for ted. and he even wrapped ted a cookie!!!!

[gottagobackintime]

Something something, Ted calling Trent “Sport” after Trent points out that “sport, it’s quite the metaphor”. When they’ve both just heard Roy talk about his feelings about seeing Keeley again being back at Chelsea and agreeing that it’s better to be the one breaking up with someone rather than being broken up with to quit than being fired. (Also the song in the background going “you’re not alone, you’re not alone” as Trent and Ted are the only ones left in the office. After Ted jokingly “flirted” with Roy saying “if you wouldn’t have left Chelsea when you did, we probably never would have met.” And they show Trent’s reaction right after we’ve seen Roy’s. And Trent is smiling and then Roy looks at him and gestures towards Ted and Trent and Ted are left alone in the office where the aforementioned conversation about sport being used as a metaphor and Ted calling Trent “Sport” happens.

(I’m sorry if this doesn’t make any sense. It’s 4.30am.)

[lunar-years]

confession time...I actually really love the pub lads beard after hours plot. it brings me great joy. i also enjoyed getting some insight into beard and his self-doubts as a coach and just as a person. i like the way this is done with thierry henry talking to him from the TV. and even though it makes me sad that he doesn't end up sending the text to jane we see him typing where he tells her he can't keep doing this if that's how she's going to treat him, and it makes me sadder that at the end of the episode all he wants is to be back with her, I also think it makes sense in the context of his headspace. Beard was just triggered watching Jamie being abused at wembley (so much he needs to 'walk it off') and i can see how that might push him into falling back into his own personally abusive relationship (i hate it NOW knowing the ending for them but like. it COULD have worked had they ever addressed Jane's behavior in a meaningful way. ever.) It's compelling to get some actual insight into their relationship and how Beard sees it.

which is all to say i quite like beard after hours on the whole... but in a way where like, i only want it to exist in an alternative universe where ted lasso is an old school show that's getting 24-28 episodes a season and this is the episode they make just to have fun with an extra episode slot they didn't really need. in the context of the 12 episode season Ted Lasso is actually confined to, when they could have done some MUCH NEEDED things with that extra time....i hate it and it gets a no from me 😪 😅

[alter-alterego]

Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Ted Lasso (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Roy Kent & Jamie Tartt, Ted Lasso & Jamie Tartt, Keeley Jones & Jamie Tartt Characters: Jamie Tartt, Roy Kent, Ted Lasso, Keeley Jones, Coach Beard (Ted Lasso), Dani Rojas (Ted Lasso), Sam Obisanya, Rebecca Welton, Nathan Shelley, Trent Crimm Additional Tags: Time Travel Fix-It, just don't think about the time travel part of it too much or it falls apart, it's a convenient plot device, Temporary Character Death, Not Really Character Death, traveling to the past to correct an unbearable present, Everyone in this fic is Going Through It, except for adorable child Jamie, who is having the time of his young life, Protective Roy Kent, Eventual Happy Ending Summary:

Roy doesn't understand how they ended up here, but if the universe is giving him a chance to maybe save the kid's life, he's going to fucking take it.

[talldecafcappuccino]

Leader of the Pack | rating: g | words: 2,147

Summary:

Ted makes things right with the lads at the pub after the team gets relegated.

Excerpt:

Years later, Ted and Rebecca sneak into the rowdy fan section as nothing more than fans themselves. She squeezes his hand when he stops at the top of the stairs, looking out over the familiar field.

It’s been almost a whole season since he’s made it to a game. He and Rebecca have been enjoying retirement life, traveling between London and Kansas like a couple of Florida snowbirds who forgot to pick a place with any sun. But it’s a good life and worth the frost bitten noses when they watch Henry’s kids build snowmen playing football (both kinds).

read on ao3

[kvetchinglyneurotic]

Upon reflection, I think my main problem with Ted’s “forgive him for yourself” speech to Jamie in 3x11 is that regardless of your stance on whether or not Jamie should forgive his father (I am personally against it but understand what the show was going for), Jamie’s season 2 arc with his dad has already demonstrated why this was not useful or appropriate advice given the information the characters had available to them at the time.

In season 2, Jamie gets two pieces of advice about his dad, both in the same vein as the 3x11 speech. When Jamie asks to come back to Richmond (I think in 2x02?), Ted suggests that he’s successful because his father was so hard on him, which is not only factually untrue — trauma makes life considerably harder in general — but also a profoundly unkind thing to say to someone he knows is being abused, and even unkinder given that Jamie knows he knows. Which isn’t to say it’s out of character; it’s a reflection of Ted’s own dad-related trauma and how that prevents him from dealing effectively with Jamie and his father. The second piece of advice is from Higgins in 2x08, in which he suggests that Jamie should love his father for who he is and forgive him for who he isn’t — and this advice is shown to be inappropriate because it doesn’t address the actual problem, which is that James is actively abusive and poses an ongoing threat to Jamie’s physical and mental well-being.

In 3x11, this is no longer the case, since James is in rehab and apparently working on becoming a better person. But, crucially, at the time that they have that conversation, neither Jamie nor Ted (nor the audience) are aware of this. Given James’ established pattern of behaviour, Ted is telling Jamie to forgive his father knowing there is a very real possibility that Jamie will take his advice, and then he’ll step off the pitch and James will corner him somewhere and start throwing boots at him (although hopefully the rest of the team isn’t letting Jamie wander around by himself when his dad might be around).

I don’t necessarily mind that James Tartt hopped on the self-improvement train in the second-to-last episode — I’m a firm believer that everyone should have the opportunity and support to change if they decide they want to — but I feel like the writers wrote this conversation with the fact that James was in rehab in mind and didn’t consider the implications of Ted giving this advice when he didn’t know that. I still wouldn’t have liked if it happened when they knew James was in rehab, but it would probably bother me slightly less.

[becoach-a]

never forget the fact that this "happy surprise sandwich friday!" message was written by beard for ted. since ted tossed beard his sandwich from his backpack, this is definitely what beard brought to work for ted.

[sideboot]

The Gang Meets Jamie’s Mum Part 3: Finale

Part 1 and Part 2 of this over here

Jamie’s Mum meets Rebecca, who she definitely has a bit of a thing for.  The conversation starts with her being very shy and awkward, until for whatever reason the conversation hits upon the topic of Rupert

Ms. Tartt uses her experience with being with a Shit Man (James Sr.) to connect with Rebecca as they both understand that the end of this kind of relationship can have long term problems for your self worth and give you lasting fears of intimacy.  Ms. Tartt  is able to channel her attraction into a pep talk to help build up Rebecca’s self worth, which Rebecca then copy pastes and reverse uno cards, and flustered, Ms. Tartt not having a rebuttal for yet again being told that she is a catch and she can go on dates and find love and intimacy if she wants to.

Below them, Richmond wins the match. 

This is devolving into more of a sketch than the level of fleshed out for the early parts.  I think that if this was structured like an episode of the show, the B-plot has Beard dealing with Jayne. 

Before the game he ends up in a heated phone call with her in the hallway.  She’s angry and upset that he didn’t pick up earlier because of work and also continues to be jealous of Ted.  Keeley overhears.  She and Beard have a discussion about how Jayne’s jealousy is not Beard’s responsibility.  After all, Keeley is in a polyamorous relationship and that means she has a very specific view on jealousy.  

After the game, Beard has another phone call.  Ms. Tartt accidentally overhears. 

They talk.  She relays a specific story about James Sr. being volatile, but extremely captivating because if the relationship was always in crisis, then it was also always exciting and a way to distract her from her own problems, even though in the end it burnt her out and also she had to prioritize her focus on taking care of Jamie.  When she stopped paying attention to James Sr, he disappeared. 

Beard agrees that’s fucked up.  Ms. Tartt says yes, and that the way Jayne was speaking to him seems to be the exact same.  It isn’t said, but this is the moment Beard decides that he and Jayne are breaking up.

Meanwhile at home after celebrating the win, Jamie notices his mum is kind of quiet. Eventually she’s like Jamie, I’m bisexual and that’s important and I’m coming out to you even though nothing’s happened.  But maybe now I’ll date girls

Jamie realizes that like.  His identity is actually something he finds important to him and something he does want to share with his mom, even in the event he ends up breaking up with Roy and Keeley or marrying a woman.  His mom gets to do a redo of meeting them both, and then embarrasses Jamie on purpose this time

Three days later with less than a week left in her stay she reveals she’s going on a date with beard.

Jamie is like mum no.  actually that’s fine, of all my bosses this one is the one I have zero daddy issues about and am not currently in a romantic relationship with.  You go mom.

The End

[happygiraffe]

hello still have Ted Lasso on the brain ♥️

[devotioncrater]

"no hints were dropped" ok not to be that person but here are the hints that were dropped regarding Colin and Trent being gay:

1. Colin mentioning Grindr in a joke

2. Trent touching the arm of a man in the background

Here is one of the hints that Keeley was bi (even though I do believe she's been canonically bi since season 1, but not everyone sees it this way)

1. Her desktop background was in the colors of the bisexual flag

Here were some of the hints that Ted was bi:

1. Bisexual flag colored triangles above his head in the hallucination sequence

2. Inverted pink triangle next to him in that same sequence (and you can't tell me the creators didn't know, when the Homomonument is based on that symbol)

3. Countless (countless!!!) comments about men's physiques ("huge muscular thighs all caked in mud", whistling at a picture of Pep, "look at that head of hair", "he's strong", "he looks like a Rodin sculpture in cleats", etc.)

4. About a man (Higgins) and a woman (Rebecca), he had to say: "that's a crowd I don't mind being smack-dab in the middle of"

5. Him checking Trent out in the pub in 2x07 (his eyes are up there, Ted!)

6. "It could go either way", "I contain multitudes" and other comments in this vein

7. Bi lighting as he entered the Yankee Doodle Burger Barn

8. Giving similar looks to the female waitress and the male waiters in that restaurant (including a waiter in a cowboy costume that looked like he belonged in a gay club, who tipped his hat at Ted when greeting him)

9. "That's cause you were put into a box", "That box ceases to exist today", the box in the hallucination sequence breaking into triangles (as in the bi triangles and the inverted pink triangke), "we've been playing too rigid", "our guys need freedom", "fast, fluid, free, with full support", the "box that one needs to break out of" being a prominent motif in season 3

10. Wishing Beard called him pet names ("Honey, is that an ingredient or something you just called me?")

11. His crush on Pep

12. The connection between Ted and Colin: "my whole life is two lives, really", both wearing orange in Sunflowers, "I just want to kiss my fella" (Colin doesn't say "fella" , but Ted says it all the time), Ted just needs to get inspired and Colin's play is "inspirational" after he comes out, as per the commentators

And so much other stuff that, had Ted not self-identified as straight (*cough* put himself into a box *cough cough*) , you could make the case that he was canonically bi.

Here are some of hints that there was a romantic connection between Ted and Trent:

1. They hit a lot of romantic beats, and not in the jokey self-aware way in which Roy and Ted hit them in "Rainbow", but in an organic and sincere way

2. They both checked each other out: Trent checked Ted out when Ted was changing in front of him, Ted checked Trent out when Trent came up to him in a pub and hit him with a pick-up line while his date that looked a lot like Ted waited for him outside

3. Did I mention that Trent was on a date with a moustachioed man who dressed in a similar style to Ted? Let's mention it again

4. In that very bar, during a 50 second long conversation, Trent managed to say the word "love" three times. I searched the word "love" in the transcripts of the episodes. There's no other instance in which its frequency is this high

5. "Love our chats" incomplete rule of threes

6. "Sport, it's quite the metaphor" (implied: a metaphor for love; see also "love's a beautiful game" from the song Ed Sheeran wrote for Ted Lasso), "Also makes for a heck of a nickname", "Good night, Ted", "Good night, sport"

7. The soft, romantic, melancholic song playing in the background of this scene, while Ted and Trent are the last ones left in the office, with lyrics such as "When your words begin to crumble like the sidewalks all around this crummy neighborhood / From the chalky cliffs of Dover / I'd come over, I'd start over if I could"

8. Trent wearing sunflower colors in the episode "Sunflowers" and in the finale; sunflowers symbolize Ted's home (it's not subtle). He's the only character dressed like that. I'm still looking for any other explanation other than "Trent is Ted's home"

9. Their constant flirting and the way they look at each other with incredible fondness

10. The entire episode "The Strings That Bind Us". It's structured around Ted and Trent's relationship, and the way Trent changed because of Ted (in season 2, Ted defined a soulmate as someone who changes your life forever). The red string metaphor. Ted points out that soulmates are connected by a string tied to their little fingers. Ted and Trent both extend their little fingers out in similar shots. They are connected by a huge block of red in their last scene of the episode. Ted makes several comments about other men that apply to Trent ("Look at that head of hair", "Frames his face nicely", "My favorite one, he was clean shaven"). Many more details that lead back to Ted and Trent: Nate tells the restaurant owner to tell Jade he said "Hello". Immediately after, Ted and Trent say "Hello" to each other. The map that Nate's father used to ask out his mom has the number 1.3 written on it and an illustration of two people at a table in a restaurant. Ted and Trent went to a restaurant together in season 1, episode 3. The last scene of the episode mimics a "Race for Love" scene from a romcom, with Trent chasing after Ted. Trent also does not say a word to anyone other than Ted in the entire episode. He is completely focused on Ted

11. "Trent, what do you love? Is it writing?" and Trent ends up writing a book about Ted and naming the manuscript after Ted and he only cares about Ted's opinion on it (he leaves the room when Beard starts reading, but stays in the office after hours just to watch Ted read. "I just wanted you to like it.")

11. Trent's crush on Ted, confirmed by Jimmy Lance (and also obvious in the show, if you ask me)

Now, why would I believe that none of these hints were intentional? Maybe some could be explained away, but all of them? The hints we got for Colin, Trent and Keeley were so much smaller than this, and those turned out to be intentional.

anon i wish i could offer you the response you deserve, but i cannot stop rereading this masterpiece & focusing on the portions of evidence you provided that i didn't even pick up on until you laid them out. holy shit

[its-time-to-write]

I’ve always had this idea that reader is like, one of the fittest people that work at AFC Richmond, like she can hold herself in a fight. Maybe she does boxing and the team shows up to support as a surprise and they’re all like DAMN. And a certain Manchester man goes googoo over her and ALSJDISPDODJKLL I feel like in my mind it’s an idea with lots of potential behind for any character matchup and scenarios but yeah that’s it (ps I love your writing it brings me so much joy!!)

got it! thanks @coloursofyen for a) the ideas and b) keeping me on track with these last few fics.

I rage-wrote this fic bc I accidentally saw the Man City score before I had a chance to watch it. I’m very upset rn😂 Also, I know nothing about boxing.

move fast and keep quiet

Ted’s been on this thing recently, where one day of training out of every five is a “physical and mental enrichment day,” which is a fancy way of saying the team does yoga or some shit together. Recently he’s been bringing in this boxing coach for “the team’s aggressive tendencies,” in wake of the whole West Ham debacle, and no one’s quite sure if that was really the best response to the situation. Teaching AFC Richmond how to fight better? Maybe not the best idea. 

You’ve been coming once a week for a month now, teaching them how to spar on the pitch. Isaac, Jamie, and Bumbercatch are definitely the most enthusiastic about it, with the way Isaac studies each punch, Bumbercatch practices the footwork, and Jamie asks a million fucking questions every single time. 

According to Sam, he’s been an absolute menace, practicing his moves through the halls of Nelson Road.

“What is your problem?” Jan asks one day. “Can you not just walk to the gym like a regular person?”

Jamie shrugs. “Where’s the fun in that?”

It isn’t long before word goes around the dogtrack that Jamie has a crush on the boxing instructor.

“You like her,” Dani singsongs. Jamie doesn’t deny it. 

“She’s mad fit. Even her smile,” Jamie defends.

He’s not exactly wrong. The team starts an unofficial countdown until their next training session, and are disappointed to walk into the regular setup when the day rolls around. There’s a whiteboard with a new play from Roy and Beard, and the whole team barely tries to hide their disappointment.

“Oi, where’s Jamie’s girlfriend?” Isaac asks the moment Ted walks in.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Jamie interjects.

Ted points to Jamie. “We’ll unpack that later. For now, I need you fellas to get ready to run this new play Coach Beard and Roy have cooked up. I want everyone ready to show a lotta teamwork.”

Richard raises his hand. “Coach, where is Jamie’s girlfriend?”

Jamie puts his head in his hands and says, “She ain’t my girlfriend, lad,” but it doesn’t matter. The name is going to stick.

Ted says, “She’s busy training for a match tomorrow, but she’ll be back next week. She told me to tell you all that she hopes you can come watch.”

Sam loudly whispers, “You mean she hopes Jamie will come watch,” and the rest of the team says oooh.

“Fuck off,” Jamie replies, but he’s blushing.

—

They end up commandeering the team bus. 

The fight is… well, let’s just say it’s convinced Jamie that he needs to make the “girlfriend” jokes a reality. He will never admit how smitten you make him, what with the way you’re dodging and weaving, wiping sweat from your brow as your braids fly. But when it’s all over and you’re announced the winner, he’s almost positive you can hear him cheering over the rest of the crown because he’s just so damn happy.

The team waits around while the rest of the arena clears out, but Jamie can’t wait. He slips away from the group and asks a security guard where he can find you. The guard looks at him and states, “You’re Jamie Tartt.”

“Yeah,” Jamie responds, unsure of what else to say because it wasn’t exactly a question.

“She said you could come back. Follow me,” grunts the guard. Jamie turns around to make eye contact with Sam before hurrying after the security guard.

“In here.” The guard points to a door then leaves Jamie alone, staring at your name printed on a metal plaque. Shit, how good must you be to have your name here?

He knocks once and hears you call, “Come in,” so he pushes the door open. You’re sitting on the floor downing a bottle of water, still sweaty. There’s a bit of blood dried to your forehead and Jamie is a little worried that he finds it sexy.

You smile at him and pat the floor next to you.

“I’d get up, but I’m really fucking tired,” you say. “She got me good.”

Jamie slides onto the floor next to you. “You were fuckin’ amazing,” he says. “Made me rethink my whole career.”

You wheeze out a laugh. “With the way you run your mouth? You’d get brained in a week. I make sure none of my partners hate me. Me ’n the girl you saw tonight are going out to lunch tomorrow.”

Oh. That’s new information for Jamie. He’s trying to figure out if you mean lunch as a friend thing, or if you’re going on a date. Shit. Maybe this was a bad idea.

You nudge him with your shoulder. “Oi, what’s your deal? Upset you’re stuck as a sad little footballer when you could be getting punched out on the daily like me?”

Jamie shakes his head. “Nah. Just thinking how cool it were tonight.”

You grin and take another swig of water. “Hey, you wanna take me out on a date?”

Jamie chokes on air. After a moment he manages to cough, “Sorry, what?” and you shrug.

“Told myself if you came back here after the match I’d ask you out. I let security know you could come back if you wanted, and I figured you might be kinda fucking interested if you tried to get back here without me inviting you.”

“Uh huh,” Jamie says, still trying to get his breath back.

You look at him sideways. “Is that a yes? It’s all good if not.”

“No, yes!” Jamie says. “It’s yes. Where do you want to go? When’re you available? We could do something tonight if you want.”

You make a face. “I’m absolutely knackered. I was planning on going home to take a nice long shower and then passing out.”

Jamie nods. Right. Sounds logical.

“You could join me,” you suggest, and Jamie chokes for the second time.

“Jesus, Tartt, you’re excitable,” you tease. “It’s just a shower and some sleep. Although I might be convinced that I didn’t get enough cardio in tonight. Depends on if you’re willing to drive me home so I can nap.”

“Done,” Jamie says immediately. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.” 

You grin as he pulls you up off the floor. “Oh,” you say, studying his perfect lips, “one more thing before we go…”

[coachbeards]

when ted said they needed a big dog to talk to Isaac and Nate says he’ll do it and ted Laughs at him. Like lmao. How can you watch that scene and NOT understand Nate’s villain arc

[cristinadrawss]

Another preview!!!

Get Your Zine HERE

You know Beard and Ted got into if after he wrote this on the white board 😃

[mexicangela]

okay. so. about tedbecca.

this is long and i apologize i just have thoughts. first, the fakeout in the beginning was cruel. BUT i was willing to forgive because tbh it was kinda funny and i’m not convinced that the “morning after” tension between ted and rebecca didn’t make everyone, everyone, think for just a second that they had slept together. y’know, like, if there was never any chemistry there, why the fakeout to get tedbeccas excited/cut them down and antis worried? did the reason for ted, beard, and jane being there really make a ton of sense? no. therefore, it really does feel like it was just something they wrote in to be mean and, like. come on, guys. why be mean? second, their talk in the stands??? you gotta be fucking kidding me. rebecca welton poured her fucking soul out to ted and he didn’t have a thing to say about it other than that “i’ve already made my decision” bullshit? didn’t even offer her a hand or hug of comfort? how out of character was that? he seemed so stoic through the whole episode, like he was stunted. which, maybe has to do with his being sad about leaving but still it threw me off. jesus, talk about “subverting expectations” or whatever. also, the things rebecca was saying? “you go, i go”? the ultimatum of “either we both stay or we both leave” and then her saying they’d both go only to take it back in the end? be so fucking for real right now. the offer to pay him insane amounts of money then telling him there was really no kind of monetary compensation that could represent how much he meant to the club (and her), the proposed solution to bring his child and his child’s mother over to london for him to stay (it is one thing to offer to get henry over, but to extend the offer to michelle is something else)? those aren’t things regular old friends say/do for each other, i’m sorry. listen, i love my friends but that’s a lot to offer anyone. you really have to love someone to be willing to do all that and cry real tears while begging them to stay, to choose you, to choose the home you’ve made for yourself. third, the airport scene gutted me but AGAIN i was kind of at peace with it. it would have at least left it super open ended and allowed the fanbase to imagine what could have happened afterward, y’know. like the whole “rom-com leave-cute” thing was another mean thing to do because where was the rom or the com about that?? why do that? but like i said, i would have been at peace with it because, dear god, the way rebecca was looking at him (again, ted gave us almost nothing but whatever. not even a tear? ugh.). i mean, she was looking at him like she wanted to say “stay. choose me. choose your own happiness.” also i know she’s loaded but WHO BUYS A FIRST CLASS TICKET JUST TO GET PAST SECURITY ONLY TO SAY GOODBYE TO A GOOD PAL? doesn’t make sense to my little pea brain!!! sudeikis, make it make sense (unfortunately for me and everyone around me i still love him)! there really should have been an “i love you” and not even necessarily in a romantic way. these two are supposed to be soulmates, cosmically connected, there’s not supposed to be one without the other and all we got was…”thank you” and a head nod? like, yes, thank you. thank you for showing me warmth and kindness and grace. thank you for reminding me what my strength looks like. thank you for being there for me. yes, yes, yes, thank you! but an “i love you” really would have been wonderful and i’m actually sad they didn’t get to hear it from each other. fourth, the way nameless boat dude came back in like a fucking generic ass early disney prince was just lame. i thought it was lazy. here we have a rebecca who is devastated that this weird, funny, kindhearted american football coach who shoved himself into her life and her heart has just left to go back to kansas and this little dutch girl trips and suddenly rebecca’s found happiness? it’s frustrating. really, it is. like i’m happy rebecca has a shot at happiness and a family, but she just as well could have had it with ted, who is admittedly very similar to this dutch man. i don’t get it. this is where it well and truly lost me. fifth (this one’s a three parter, sorry), where’s ted’s happy ending? because i don’t think it’s a life of volunteering to coach children’s soccer. i know people have been implying/worrying that ted and michelle reconcile but i don’t see that happening. ted, at his core, is still the man michelle left. he’s still overly optimistic (although we didn’t see that in the finale, like what?), he’s still punny, and let’s be real, he’s still a mess. i didn’t see the resolution to his arc. in fact, returning to kansas feels like a regression. he literally ran from kansas. that’s the whole reason he went to richmond in the first place. what changed? why is he going back now? for henry, yes, of course, that’s understandable. and at the same time, within the show we’ve been shown that the bond of a father and child is not always enough to get dad to stay/be a good and decent father (i.e. ted’s father, i.e. james tartt sr., i.e. rebecca’s father). this isn’t, of course, true for ted and henry, but i think it’s a point to make concerning everyone saying things about the child-parent bond being end-all, be-all. for some people, that’s true. for others, it isn’t. it isn’t a jab at anyone or the parent-child relationship in general, it’s just the truth. this is a coin that has two sides, y’know. got off course there but anyway, henry also could have gone to london, which i think might have been the best thing for him anyway, he seemed to have a good time there and he would have had a whole band of new brothers with all the himbos. michelle isn’t a bad mother by any means, but she’s got her own shit to work through if the whole doctor jacob thing was anything to go by. i also don’t think the show did all that great of a job showing us that henry had this super deep connection with his dad, but maybe that was just me lol. regardless, i still understood the bond and its importance and of course ted wanted to be there for his child. that part does make sense. the way it was gone about felt like a disservice though. ted’s expression at the end there doesn’t scream happy. he looked rather sad to me, like something was weighing on him still. and i’m sure there was. i don’t think he’s at peace with himself yet, or happy. maybe he’ll get happy in kansas. i hope he does. but getting to see rebecca’s “happily ever after” and not ted’s hurt my heart. guess i was hoping they would actually subvert the expectations and have him stay in the home he’d made for himself instead of going back to the place where he lost so much. why did he have to give up his found family and the job he loved (and was still actively learning about!! offsides!!) and the best friend he made and the support system he found (which, no matter your age or your progress, you always need a support system) and the community that had come to love him andandand- all ted did was sacrifice to make other people happy and better and this feels like another sacrifice because his mom guilt tripped him by saying something he already fucking knew (sorry i’m not a fan of dottie). i just don’t get it. how is his happy ending going back to the root of all his problems and staying there? just sucks, really, even if it was always the obvious outcome. sixth, i’m just mad all the signs lead to nowhere. the matchboxes, the army man, the bantr fakeout (will never, ever be over this one), the hotel room fakeout where they cut from rebecca to ted in the room and then he opens the door and it’s sassy, the romcommunism, the soulmatism. it wasn’t all for nothing, of course. their friendship is so important and i love it, but this ending felt like a big fuck you to it too because ted was so…distant. it almost felt like he didn’t care that much that he was leaving rebecca and it makes me super upset. all of this is based on the one-time watch from last night but tbh i don’t know if i can handle watching the episode again right now. it really did hurt, especially the way rebecca looked at him at the airport. tbh nothing can convince me she wasn’t at least a little bit in love with him. and, yes, i know. henry is ted’s everything and that’s so admirable and it’s not all about romance, and it’s not. but just let me believe what i want to believe. let me find the joys in the media i consume and if it’s the hope that two attractive, single, middle aged leads could have gotten with each other in the end and figured out how to be happy together, then so be it. i just hate seeing the hate from all sides, honestly, and a lot of people are legitimately really mean about it when this show is all about being kind. ted lasso is a beautiful series and, at the end of the day, it’s just another piece of media that the audience is free to interpret and pick apart however they want to. me, personally? i will continue to live in my delusional little world where ted and rebecca figure out that they belong together/i will pretend the last 10 minutes of the finale didn’t happen. thanks for coming to my tedtalk.

[sillygooseassociation]

Merry Sexy Christmas

Request: yk how keeley and roy have sexy christmas, maybe y/n gets some inspo from keeley and surprises a ‘tired from work’ ted with sexy red lingerie and his mood automatically changes

Description: Inspired by Keeley, you decide to give Ted an early Christmas present ahead of Henry's arrival.

Warning(s): porn with almost no plot, smut, oral (f receiving), ted can't get over nipples, ted lasso loves eating out

Pairing: Ted Lasso x reader

Word Count: 2k

A/N: okay so this was supposed to be short, hence being written in blurb format with no capitalization and more casual sentences. but then i was really horny and accidentally wrote 2 thousand words. so i'm not changing the format, you gotta deal with my unedited blurb mistakes but please enjoy horny holiday ted

-

you and keeley were out for girls' night, both of you a drink or two in before she remembers that she forgot to go shopping that day for sexy christmas, "oh shit, i need to run to the shop before they close! will you come with?" you agree because duh, keeley is your best friend, you're not even sure what kind of shop you're going to, but of course you'll go with her.

so when the two of you arrive in front of her favorite lingerie boutique, you're incredibly confused, "um, what exactly are we shopping for keels?" she giggles as she pulls you into the shop, "sexy christmas, y/n. come on, help me choose what to get." having come with beard and ted to richmond when they were signed on, the american in you was incredibly confused, was this a british tradition you some how hadn't heard of your past two christmases here?

"sexy huh?"walking over to a table of thongs, keeley just laughs at your reaction, picking up some pairs to inspect them as she answers your question, "sexy christmas, it's mine and roy's tradition. we both dress sexily and surprise each other, celebrating the holiday by basically having sex all over the house." she turns to you with a smirk, "you should try it with the gaffer."

you chuckle lightly, a blush covering your cheeks, sure you and keeley talk about your sex lives but out of respect for ted who is also friends with keeley, you don't often share explicit details. you especially don't tell her about any special foreplay ted is into, however, it is hard to ignore the fact that the shop has plenty of red lacy garments for the season and that is ted's favorite color on you. you shake away the thought, it wouldn't work, "no, henry is coming for christmas, you know that. there's no way to do that."

keeley shrugs as she walks over to the bralettes, "yeah, but doesn't he get here on christmas eve? that means you have all of tomorrow until you pick him up the next day. seems like plenty of time to me." she was right, it was only the evening of the 22nd, sure ted was having breakfast with beard tomorrow to bookend the year, but you had the rest of the day. you simply hum in response as you begin to look more at the items in the store, keeley sending a knowing smirk your way.

an hour later, you and keeley exit the shop, hugging each other and wishing happy holidays, though you would be seeing each other on boxing day at the team holiday get-together. you smile to yourself as you walk home to the flat you share with ted, thinking about how you would surprise him the next day. you giggle to yourself at the fact that what you purchased is so small that you can fit it in your purse to sneak it past ted. you get home and give him a kiss before hurrying to the bedroom, hiding your purchase in your dresser before changing into one of ted's shirts and joining him on the couch to watch a christmas film.

the next day, you wake up to ted leaving a light kiss on your forehead, the man whispering "i love you" before coaxing you back to sleep. once you hear the front door shut though, you fight against sleep, getting out of bed and starting your day. you and ted didn't keep a messy house by any means, but there were things to be done before henry arrived the next day. and while ted planned on you two tackling your to-do list together once he got home from breakfast, you had different plans for him that would hopefully keep him busy.

you complete the to-do list, putting fresh sheets on henry's bed, though no one has slept in it since you changed them after his last visit. you switch out some of the coffee table books you had out for some coloring books and board games, then finishing the wrapping of henry's gifts so you wouldn't have to worry about that after he goes to bed on christmas eve. when ted texts to ask if you want him to bring you a coffee home, you thank him but decline, then hurrying to your bathroom to change before he arrived home.

hearing the key in the door, you rush to stand in between your bed and the bedroom door, adjusting your hair once more, "honey?" "in here!" you hear ted approaching the room, smiling as he of course takes in the work you did as he heads towards you, "darlin', did you get a head start on the list? you didn't have to do that, i was happy to do that now…" ted trails off as he opens the door seeing you stand only a few feet in front of him, looking as gorgeous as ever.

his adam's apple bobs as he takes you in, a red bralette with white fur adorned across your chest, the see-through material allowing him to see not an outline of your nipple but the entire thing, your peaks pressing against the material, seeming to beg for freedom. his gaze traces down your figure, seeing possibly the shortest mini skirt he's ever seen if it could even be considered that. sure, it flares out like a skirt, but the material is maybe five inches long, and with its high rise position on your hips, he's sure it's covering absolutely nothing.

he clears his throat as his vision rises, though he seems to choke on his spit when he sees your nipples again before meeting your eyes, "w-what's this, sweetheart?" you take a step closer, even the slightest movement showing ted that the bralette had truly no support as your breasts bounced with even one step, "merry sexy christmas, ted." trying to be a gentleman, he forces himself to look into your eyes, though all he truly wants is to seal his mouth on yours as he throws you onto the bed. "but it's only the 23rd."

you take another couple steps until your standing directly in front of him, practically feeling the heat radiating off of the tented area of his pants, "well i thought we could celebrate a little early." you grab his hands, bringing them up to cup your breasts, "that all right with you, teddy?" as his name rolls of your tongue, your hands guide his thumbs so they run over your nipples, bringing a small moan from you which causes ted to groan, "fuckin' hell, baby."

unable to hold back anymore, ted dips his head down to meet you in a kiss, his tongue sliding across your lips to gain entry, skipping past the foreplay he typically loves. while he hates to move his hands, he guides them down to your ass, confirming his suspicion that your skirt covered nothing, his fingers pressed into your skin. you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him even closer as he kneads the skin of your ass while moving you back toward the bed. you lay down as ted begins to shed his clothing, watching you intently.

ted's eyes darken as your legs widen, revealing that with the mesh material of the skirt, your wetness had seeped through to coat your inner thighs. stripped down to nothing, ted practically growls as he settles in between your legs, less than a foot from where you need him most, "holy hell sweetness, you have all this just from that? i would have thought i made you come at least three times from how wet you are."

you whine at ted's words though your whine quickly turns into a gasp as his mouth lands on your thigh, his tongue tracing over your juices before he bites the sensitive skin. he moves to the other leg and repeats his movements, sure to leave two matching marks, "can never get over how good you taste, my love. jus' perfect." you wiggle your hips against the mattress, causing ted to lowly chuckle, "i know sugar, i know." he answers every prayer you've ever made when he drags down the skirt, moving quickly so that he can remove it entirely before placing himself right back in between your legs.

while ted's erection had been struggling, untouched, this entire time, he was absolutely positive he was going to explode as he watched your core convulse around nothing, begging for something to fill it. "you jus' torture me honey, i know you don't mean to, but hell if i could do this every minute of every hour, i would never leave this spot." you whine at his words, yes you want him to never leave that place in between your legs but right now, you really just need him to touch you. you fist at the sheets as you let out shaky breaths, "p-please, teddy."

ted places a kiss on your inner thigh, "i got you honey, i always got you." ted licks a long stripe from bottom to top of your opening, going just short enough that he doesn't touch your clit. a low low moan leaves your lips from finally feeling his mouth on you but also from him avoiding your sensitive bud. before you can beg, a single finger is slipped between your lips, not nearly enough for you to feel filled, but better than nothing. your pussy attempts to tighten around his middle finger as it circles around your hole, but the single digit isn't enough.

"more, pl-please." ted looks up at you through his eyelashes, practically drooling at the sight of you with your head thrown back, your neck on display as your hard nipples press against their confinement. ted obliges your request, though rather than doing so slowly, he removes his pointer finger almost all the way before shoving all three middle fingers in rather than just two. you moan loudly at the action, your back arching off the bed as you cry out his name, your core tightening around his fingers, "there you go baby, i said i got you."

though he hadn't been going for long, you already felt your climax approaching, something you attempted to tell ted, though you're sure he already knew, "t-teddy…" "i know baby, i know." his lips suddenly latch onto your clit, sucking on the swollen bundle of nerves, his teeth grating against the skin. you let out a strangled groan at this, noticing the feeling growing in your lower belly. on instinct, you wrap your thighs around ted's head, pulling him closer. he moves his fingers in the 'come here' motion, perfectly hitting your g-spot as he practically makes out with your clit, the combined effort bringing you to your peak.

you let out a scream of his name as you reach your high, ted moving his head at lightning speed to catch any juices that escape your core as his fingers work you through your orgasm, "so perfect for me baby, always such a good girl for me". after a minute or so, ted stops his movements, pulling his fingers out of your core, to which you whine. he chuckles at your response, bringing his hand up to suck the juices off of each of his fingers individually. he sits up, shimmying up your body, until he is straddling your hips, his angry head laying on your stomach just below the bottom of your bralette.

ted smiles at his view, your breasts bouncing as you breathe heavily, attempting to catch your breath with a dazed expression on your face, practically fucked out from only your first orgasm of the day. ted leans down, giving you a sweet kiss before pulling away slightly, his mustache tickling your upper lip, "merry sexy december 23rd, sweetness."

[ceruleanwhore]

So I’ve seen a lot of posts talking about the potential for canon Ted x Trent in the finale, but there’s an angle or two I haven’t seen examined yet that I’d like to discuss here. What I am referring to is mainly why the writers chose to have Trent be the one to support Colin through his arc, coming out and everything, instead of using Keeley, who is canonically bi and was in a sapphic relationship during Colin’s arc. They didn’t need to have another character come out and everything for the sake of supporting Colin through his arc, and yet they chose to do so anyway, and I do think it’s important that they chose Trent specifically. I think it’s also important to acknowledge how limited lgbtq rep has been in media and how already, just by having Keeley and Colin be written as they are, this show has gone far beyond most others. Likewise, it should be acknowledged how having that role in Colin’s arc would have been genuinely very good for Keeley’s own character arc and how well it could have tied into some aspects of her relationship with Jack, so it’s not as though using her for that would’ve just been a cheap cop-out. The fact that they didn’t do that indicates to me that they have something specific and even better in mind.

When you keep that in mind, suddenly the signs are everywhere that this could actually, genuinely happen in canon - Trent’s red string bracelet, Ted’s comment about Sleepless in Seattle, Trent meeting Ted’s mom, etc. My whole thing with this pairing is that, when I look at it, especially in s3, there’s so much there that I genuinely believe they’d already be snogging if it was hetero and in a different show. In this context, I can only see Trent coming out and Ted “I was a straight man” Lasso making that movie reference as our indication that they bat for the other team, as it were, and yes, this can be something other than friendship.

The other thing I would add is that in the mom episode we get open acknowledgment that Ted’s biggest problem is how he runs around helping others but can’t accept help from anyone else for himself. I would then point out that the only time he’s received the same huge, self-sacrificial type of help he gave Beard with prison and everything is what he got from Trent Crimm revealing an anonymous source and then leaving his entire career to show his support and respect of Ted. Yes, a lot of the others around him have supported and helped Ted in different ways but I think it’s huge that Trent is the only one who’s done so on that level. I would also add that Trent has supported Ted multiple times while being one of the only characters to do so without ever acting against him. Beard stole his car, Nate turned on him, Rebecca was plotting against him and using Leslie to do so, etc., and yet Trent from the beginning was skeptical at most and never really acted against Ted. Beyond that, I also think that the first article Trent wrote about Ted in s1 is hugely indicative of Trent’s potential compatibility with Ted.

For one thing, Ted talked quite a bit in s1 about curiosity and went on that whole speech with Rupert in the darts game about how he values it but how so few people are genuinely curious - but Trent is. Trent shows up to write about Ted, skeptical but curious enough to pay close attention and allow his view of this other man to shift and to not be clouded by biases. I think the truth element is also huge - Ted’s ex wifey couldn’t accept his communication style and got an override from their therapist to force Ted to be outwardly truthful in a way he wasn’t comfortable with, and yet Trent clearly demonstrates his ability to accurately discern the truth from Ted without ever pushing him in such a way. Trent over and over again respects boundaries, never pushes people to share beyond what they’re comfortable with, and still gleans the truth from what he does see and hear, which is exactly what Ted needs.

Lastly, I’m not here to go off ragging on tedbecca and tbh I wouldn’t be mad if it did happen, but I want to talk about why I just don’t see it happening in canon real quick. First and foremost is that she’s the only other character than Ted’s ex (is her name Michelle? I genuinely can’t remember and that’s the only reason why I’m not using it) who uses ‘Oklahoma’ with him, and I don’t actually see that as a good thing. This is especially the case ever since it came out that Michelle(?) is now dating the therapist she and Ted saw who had them start using that in the first place, since that new relationship calls all the therapy she and Ted did into question.

Also, it’s not just that Rebecca used to be plotting against Ted, it’s that from s1 e1 on she’s been using him in one way or another to get back at or one up Rupert. Whether it’s working against him in s1 or then really trying to get him to win, especially with that one game against West Ham in s3, she’s just continually trying to use Ted as a tool against another man. What’s more damning is that when she does start to show interest in men who are not Rupert, it’s never Ted- Ted’s just there to bring her biscuits and engage in occasional attempts at girl talk, which really fits into the trope of a token gay best friend. I think they do have a good, solid relationship and, like I said, I won’t be mad if they do end up together, but I don’t see them as being set up to be in a romantic relationship.

But yeah, I think that’s all for now lol