#because he also alluded to rumors yesterday

[feroluce]

So I saw this post yesterday about whether Belobog had had phones before the Astral Express landed, or if the Trailblazers were the ones who brought them and distributed them to Jarilo-VI for the current characters. There were some mixed views and guesses in the comments.

And the answer is actually....both!

If you look at the text messages from a lot of the Belobog characters, most of them will actually allude to not knowing how to use a phone, which isn't something you get on the Xianzhou Luofu, even though they have the jade abaci. Oleg even specifically says that March 7th gave him his.

And there's also this line from Gepard and Serval's companion quest:

He's so cute I love him

Meanwhile Sampo has been running scams with selling supposed ancient relic mobile phones to the rich nobles up topside- tbh I think he could sell ice cubes in Belobog if he really put his mind to it, so he could probably make this work no matter what, knowing him. But a scam like this would not work NEARLY as well unless the general populace didn't know anything about cell phones or how they work.

(It's extra funny when you remember that he's not even a Belobog native, man has probably been hiding a phone from everyone for however long he's been there, and he absolutely knows how they work slzjkskwms)

I'm going to shove him through a meat grinder (affectionate)

While it's possible it would be way harder to get signal out there, we know from the When Business Comes Knocking adventure mission (the fact that THE TRAILBLAZER is the one who tipped off the IPC about Jarilo-VI's revival, and over something so stupid, thus leading to the invasion during the Solwarm Festival in 1.4 fucking KILLS me fjkdlsajfkdlaj) that phones CAN get some kind of signal even as far out as Everwinter Hill. So it makes this line from Serval's online introduction seem like even stronger proof that Belobog had no phones, because there's no way Gepard and Serval wouldn't text each other to at least occasionally check in while he was out in such a dangerous place.

The final nail in the coffin is actually from an IPC worker out near the Pillars of Creation, who says the Astral Express brought phones to Jarilo-VI (they say it's just a rumor, but no yeah I'm sure it's real given everything before this haha) and then admit they've been using the technological gap and lack of knowledge to make money on the side.

So. Belobog didn't have phones when the Express landed. But. But!

They did 700 years ago.

In one of the daily missions, you can encounter this echo in Backwater Pass, who shows you pictures on his phone. He mentions Alisa Rand, the very first Supreme Guardian, and the war against the Antimatter Legion, but he doesn't know what the Fragmentum is. So we know this had to happen only shortly after the Eternal Freeze came about.

And I've seen people complain how ridiculous it is that the surrounding areas of Belobog have so little flora or fauna, and how real snow tundras don't work like that. And it has been a very long time since then, but. I'm not quite sure how much water that holds, because that's not what happened here.

The Eternal Freeze didn't slowly move in. This wasn't some natural process. It just happened.

This was an environmental disaster on a planetwide scale. There was no time to prepare and most of the wildlife couldn't even live long enough to adapt or evolve. All of Jarilo-VI was on the verge of extinction; the Antimatter Legion had them at the precipice, and Alisa Rand had to make a choice. It was a desperate decision under dire straits and it didn't come without cost.

And you can see just how devastating the effects were from that previous conversation- the man regards his own phone as a pre-war relic. His wife died of illness due to the cold. His son was forced to take up a career he didn't want. Everything was put on hold. Everyone who managed to survive had to fully devote themselves to the cause.

Belobog lost entire eras of knowledge, because they were all scrambling for survival. Whatever kind of mobile phones they had before the war and the Eternal Freeze, they were lost in the ensuing chaos, until the Astral Express landed and brought new technology for the first time in 700 long years.

So- the answer is both!

[greensparty]

Quentin Tarantino Scraps The Movie Critic

Yesterday it was announced that Quentin Tarantino has scrapped plans to direct his screenplay The Movie Critic as his final film. After the film was announced in March 2023, this news comes after it was rumored to star Brad Pitt and was set to receive tax incentives from the state of California.

No official reason was given and QT has not officially said it would be his final film, but it has been alluded to that he would be retiring from directing after 10 films and this next one would be his 10th feature. Perhaps with the stigma of "final film" he got cold feet with this particular script not being grand enough. But it's too bad because I think it sounded interesting.

Very little had been confirmed about The Movie Critic other than the assertion that it might be similar to film critic Pauline Kael in the 1970s.  QT has often sung the praises of Kael and film criticism as a whole. In his 2009 film Inglorious Basterds, Michael Fassbender’s war hero is a former film critic. There was an interesting documentary about Kael released in 2020 that QT appeared in (read my review here).

There had been a number of films QT has announced and abandoned so this is not new. There was going to be a movie about the Vega Brothers (bringing together characters from both Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction) that never happened. There was also rumors of a Kill Bill sequel with Vernita Green's daughter avenging her death by going after The Bride, which never came to be. I guess we'll have to wait and see what movie he decides to do next.

The link above is the article from Variety.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 254: Who the Hell Is Bucky

Previously on BnHA: All Might welcomed 1-A back after the new year with a pun he’s probably been working on for the entire winter break, the poor man. Aizawa received a call :’) and drove down to Tartarus with Mic to meet up with Naomasa and Gran Torino. Nao and Gran were all “so you’ll NEVER GUESS, but we found out that Kurogiri’s quirk is apparently a FAKE QUIRK which was created from a bunch of other quirks -- AND GUESS WHICH ONE WAS THE ORIGINAL QUIRK?” and Aizawa was all (ಠ ∩ಠ), and Mic put a hand on his shoulder, and Nao was all “YEAH YOU DID GUESS, IT’S YOUR OLD DEAD PAL SHIRAKUMO, FROM CHAPTERS 59 THROUGH 65 OF VIGILANTES!” And okay, so (1) OH MY GOD, and (2) I originally thought this meant that Kurogiri is straight up a zombie!Shirakumo, but others pointed out that he might be some random other dude who just has Kumo’s quirk, among others. And like, okay. SO WHAT IS THE TRUTH.

Today on BnHA: Y’ALL HE REALLY IS A ZOMBIE!KUMO, AND NAOMASA AND GRAN BROUGHT AIZAWA AND MIC TO TALK TO HIM AND TRY TO RESTORE HIS MEMORIES SOMEHOW. Aizawa is all “this isn’t some fantasy world with happy endings, this is THE REAL WORLD WHERE MIRACLES DON’T HAPPEN!” but Gran is all “sometimes they do!” and Aizawa is like “!!” and so they sit down to chat with Kumo. Aizawa launches into a passionate speech about how great Kumo was and how he pulled him along and inspired him, and how he (Aizawa) is strict with his students now and -- get this -- FAKE-EXPELS THEM IN ORDER TO PUT THE FEAR OF GOD INTO THEM JUST ONCE LMAO, BUT IT’S BECAUSE HE CARES, and because he wants them to be great heroes and not hapless redshirts who get killed offscreen. And by the end of it he’s crying and imploring Shirakumo -- “if you’re still in there somewhere” -- to become heroes with him and Mic just like they always wanted. All of it is exactly as emotionally devastating as you would figure, btw.

you guys I have been playing hopscotch on my dash since yesterday trying to avoid spoilers about the popularity poll until I actually had time to write down my reactions! all I know is that of course Bakugou is #1 again, because this fandom always comes through lol. my other predictions are that the rest of the trio will receive lots of love again as well, and Hawks will once again be high on the list, and Aizawa too because of the Vigilantes flashbacks (at least HE BETTER), and probably the villains will get a big boost as well after their arc, Tomura in particular. and Endeavor might break the top 10 again too with the newest arc, although I can’t quite remember whether or not the poll was still going on by the time that started (ETA: actually I don’t think it was). but yeah. anyway so there’s a real possibility that most of the kids will actually be shut out of the top ranks because of these GROWN-UPS and VILLAINS stealing all their glory, smh. your time will come, kids

“more than anyone, you were a hero” oh is this chapter going to play with my feelings yet again. is this just going to happen every fucking week now. okay

HELL YEAH MY BOYS ON THE COVER

@unboundednamelessfuture, to answer your ask about whether I’m planning on watching Heroes Rising, the answer is a resounding YES, POSSIBLY EVEN MULTIPLE TIMES IN THEATERS IF I CAN SWING IT, because I’m pretty sure it’s actually just going to be All My Dreams Come True: The Movie. and yes I have seen some spoilers for it, although I’m not clear on whether or not they’re actual spoilers or just rumors. so because of that I won’t post my thoughts just yet, except to say that if it is true, see above re: All My Dreams Come True: The Movie, and also add a bunch more exclamation points at the end of the title omfg

anyway so my sons are famous now. they’re in Hollywood. good for them

AND NOW THE POLLLLLLLL YES

oh shit, I heard about “Deku & Bakugou Rising”, but is that out this week?? shit I’ll have to do a separate post if that’s the case. I’m assuming it’s more of a bonus chapter than an actual spinoff, kind of like the All Might chapter we got for the last movie. either way, to say I’m hyped would be a massive understatement, needless to say

(ETA: okay so I’ve seen Korean scanlations of this -- which I didn’t look at closely because spoilers -- but no English scans yet. so stay tuned!)

so I was wrong about the kids being shooed out of the top 10! I have never been so pleased to be wrong! so we have Kacchan at #1 (I love his face so much. ghlkhf), Deku at #2 (he beat Shouto this year! good for you!!), Shouto at #3 (wouldn’t be surprised if he and Deku were neck and neck again though), Kirishima at #4 (we stan one bright ray of sunshine), Iida at #5 (YOU DESERVE IT SO MUCH SWEETHEART. I’M SO GLAD FANDOM ISN’T SLEEPING ON THE ACTUAL BEST CHARACTER IN THE SERIES), Tomura at #6 (DID YOU NOT GET THE MEMO ABOUT WEARING A NUMBER ON YOUR OUTFIT? MAKING ME FIGURE IT OUT FROM THE PROCESS OF ELIMINATION IS A REAL BASTARD MOVE. THEY SHOULD HAVE PUT YOU AT #8 TO MATCH YOUR CURRENT NUMBER OF FINGERS YOU STUPID SEXY JERK), Aizawa at #7 (THANK YOU FANDOM, YOU’VE REDEEMED YOURSELVES FROM LAST YEAR), Ochako at #8 (I LOVE YOUUUU), Toga at #9 (LADIES!!!!!!), and Momo at #10 (YES GIRRRRRL)

I think this is the strongest showing of ladies yet in the top ten (ETA: actually no, the second poll was slightly better) and I’m all about it. also can they all please keep these costume upgrades because YES. I don’t care if Horikoshi would get sick of drawing them. THAT’S WHAT ASSISTANTS ARE FOR. KATSUKI HAS A FUCKING BULLET BANDOLIER, COME ON, YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS JUST A ONE TIME THING YOU ASSCLOWNS, THIS IS FOR THE PEOPLE

lol here’s the abridged version of the Shirakumo flashbacks, I guess. everyone was saying last week how Vigilantes was now required reading, and like, I get that everyone’s excited about the crossover, but they still have to make this comprehensible for people who only read the main series. I’m guessing we’ll get the short version here, but Vigilantes gets to provide the more in-depth story for people who want to know more about everything, which is more or less what Vigilantes’s role has been in general

anyway so here’s Kumo doing his usual Naruto impression and cheerfully dooming himself by being ceaselessly optimistic and tempting fate’s sense of irony

you sure can! just so long as that crisis doesn’t involve big, heavy rocks, or gravity. I’m sorry kiddo

“‘let’s all form an agency together.’ it happened just after he said those words.” well there you have it, the BnHA equivalent of “one week left till my retirement.” hero training should really include a mandatory course titled Death Flags: The Silent Killers. there are children’s lives at stake here

lol yeah this really is abridged

“once upon a time we all wanted to be heroes and then Shirakumo got crushed by some rocks the end.” yeah, so maybe not quite the full emotional impact of the original lol

OH SHIT SON

so it is his reanimated corpse, then! which means the potential for him somehow dramatically regaining his memories is very high. since this is a shounen manga, I’m gonna go ahead and put it at... 100%. is that too low

guys I don’t know what to do when Present Mic is making faces like this

when even the Comic Relief Guy is getting all traumatized and serious, you know it’s bad. sob who will I turn to now for comfort. Horikoshi’s really just gonna go full dark no stars here and leave me just stumbling around lost

OH IF IT ISN’T THE ORIGINAL PIECE OF SHIT HIMSELF!!

yeah it makes perfect sense actually, you bastard. you steal the bodies from the crematorium and then give the families fake ashes or something. holy shit you really will not stop until you find the lowest possible level to stoop to, and then grab a fucking shovel and start digging so as to GO DOWN EVEN LOWER. just. god everything about this is just so wrong

oh btw, now seems like a good time to bring up this ask I got last week!

anon you blew my mind, just so you know. you’re absolutely right. so that’s one mystery down! though the way that this is going, I’m not so sure I’m gonna like any of the other answers that the Noumu arc is gonna provide us sob

holy shit look at this fucking simile

dead children = leftovers. sure why not. just in case we all forgot how evil he is

and also, YEAH BUDDY THAT’S WHAT I JUST FUCKING SAID, PLEASE KEEP UP. and who even knows how many other times AFO has done this. I hope they’ve started investigating crematoriums, then. I’m just waiting for them to make some connection that leads to them finally finding out about Ujiko, but that might take a while still

(ETA: although if they actually can get Kumo to talk...)

and did he really just solemnly call Mic “DJ” because omfg. Gran, are you the comic relief. do you even know. are you even aware

oh hey look another dagger to my heart

ouch. that was cold. and... not necessarily true, though, is it? because he was kind enough to Tomura. idk, I know my villain mom has done some horrible things, but you’ll be hard pressed to get me to think of him as all bad, even so. he was the one keeping Tomura from going FULLASS MURDER MODE!! for a long time

HEY WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF COP-OUT IS THIS

well then WHY DID YOU EVEN BRING THEM IN HERE! DID THEY NOT SEEM TRAUMATIZED ENOUGH TO YOU?? “well idk they seem pretty shaken up already, but just to make sure they grasp the full repugnant horror of the situation why don’t we make them visit him face to face.” OKAY THEN YOU SADISTS

son of a bitch and speaking of twisting the knife, Horikoshi keeps showing us these increasingly wrecked glimpses of Aizawa lowkey falling apart and I can’t

at this point the shadows under his eyes have their own shadows. and god dude, I know you’re rational, but it’s really hard to watch you just outright dismiss any and all possibilities of hope just like that :(

what the fuck Gran

so you really are the one in this scene who’s trying to lift everyone’s spirits now. well all right then, just what are you alluding to

OH SNAP

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD NOUMU BACKSTORY AT LAST! jesus christ, do Nao and Gran just know everything already, and they’ve just been keeping it all to themselves for the hell of it?? how long before they casually swing by U.A. and are all “oh and by the way, the traitor is...”

ANOTHER AIZAWA FACE BUT THIS ONE IS SOFT OH GOD!!

HEY WHAT’S UP I’M GONNA CRY. SOMEONE TURN ON SOME SAD MUSIC. AND I WON’T GO, AND I WON’T SLEEP, AND I CAN’T BREATHE, UNTIL YOU’RE RESTING HERE WITH ME

AND I WON’T LEAVE, I CAN’T HIDE, I CANNOT BEEEEEEEE

hey Nao. you know what really would have helped with getting him to talk. NOT KNOCKING HIM UNCONSCIOUS. ??? move over do you need someone else to do your job for you or

-- OH THEY’RE TALKING TO HIM NOW LMAO OKAY

“go ahead and do your thing guys. don’t be afraid to make it real gay”

this would be even more dramatic if Kurogiri actually had a face. but even so... OH I AM WHAT I AM. I’LL DO WHAT I WANT. BUT IIIIIIII CAN’T HIIIIDE

oh my fucking god Aizawa is all “but what about his family?” and Naomasa is literally “if you two are unsuccessful, then...” like straight up acknowledging that the three of them were so fucking gay in high school that their odds of getting through to Kumogiri are stronger than that of his OWN FUCKING FAMILY. wow

chin up my sexy man. you got this

OH SHIT AHHHHHHH

LDSKFHL EASY THERE CHAMP, THAT’S TOO MUCH SEX TO BE CONTAINED IN A SINGLE PANEL, PLEASE TRY AND DO ME A FAVOR AND FUCKING HOLD IT TOGETHER HERE FOR THE KIDS WHO ARE READING THIS!! [frantically googles ‘can a shounen manga get you pregnant’]

so Aizawa is all “I’ll be damned if I let his family hear this sickening story” and like, I’m sure he means that in a “they don’t deserve that pain” kind of noble and principled way, but if it were my child I sure would want to know regardless. and aren’t they going to find out either way?? either you do get through to him, in which case obviously you would want the family to know “HEY, GOOD NEWS!”, or you don’t manage it and Nao has to call them anyway as we just established. but you go ahead and get all fired up then, Shouta

now there’s a panel of him staring at Kumo and Kumo is just a big shapeless blob of black smoke just sitting there lol. don’t tell me he’s still unconscious?!

oh

thank you

anyway so Aizawa, did you know that while you were off being an underground hero, Kumo was studying at Oxford to get his medical degree while bartending on nights and weekends to make ends meet. the two of you have so much to catch up about

Mic’s thinking that even with Aizawa using his quirk, the fog isn’t dissipating, so it means Kumo’s body is now made up of fog. well but then what about the metal neck thingy! huh??

and Mic’s opening his big mouth to complain that Kurogiri is far too polite and classically educated to really be their old pal, but before he can finish, Kumo is interrupting to ask about his son!!

he’s. uh. I guess you could call it “well”? maybe a little too well [marge simpson noises]

well Mic is clearly back to being the comic relief here. but Aizawa is keenly spotting those mom instincts that have remained in Kumo to this day!

yes Aizawa the core of your friend is still in there deep down!

OH MY GOD

LMAOOOO. “EMO PUNK... WHERE HAVE I HEARD THAT BEFORE -- !!” [AUDIBLY GASPS AND LOOKS DIRECTLY AT AIZAWA]

oh my lord. like, I don’t think this is actually meant to be funny, but just the fact that he immediately associates “emo” with AIZAWA FUCKING SHOUTA so strongly that it makes him go (•̪ o •̪) all knowingly has me fucking deceased right now good grief

so Kumo says he doesn’t resent his mission at all. some people like looking after emo punks, Mic. you should know

AND NOW MY FEELINGS ARE BEING TOYED WITH AGAIN!! JUST STRAIGHT UP OUT IN THE OPEN!! THIS ISN’T FAIR

heh. don’t mind me I’m just looking for some sort of emotional support to cling to here for my breakdown that’s about to happen about 0.2 seconds after Aizawa starts crying, if he indeed starts to cry. which it looks like he might. oh god I’m not ready for this at all. my hatches are not even remotely battened; my shutters are just gonna go flying right the fuck off

by the way what the fuck is up with the chairs at Tartarus. why do they look like swiss cheese

hmm, Nao and Torino are all “no reaction”, but to me it looks like there clearly is a reaction, though? he can’t even look Aizawa in the eye all of a sudden. it’s clearly getting to him. Nao seriously, do you need someone else to do your job

oh Aizawa

(ETA: Kumo really first-named Aizawa two seconds after meeting him. this man knows how to adopt his introverts.)

okay but Present Mic in a summer uniform is the most punchable version yet, SORRY I JUST HAD TO SAY IT I’M SORRY MIC I LOVE YOU. it was just gonna come bursting up out of me if I didn’t

anyway so Aizawa is gaying it up just as promised

him using his quirk is definitely making the scene more intense, but I’m not really sure why he actually is using it, since we’ve established it’s not having any effect. unless he’s trying to possibly undo some of the brainwashing somehow??

(ETA: so it occurred to me that just because his quirk isn’t dissolving Kumo’s mist body doesn’t mean that it’s not having an effect on his warp abilities. this way they can interrogate him without fear of him trying to use it and them having to knock him out again.)

so Kumo’s continuing to try and play it off all smooth while Aizawa unleashes the full force of fifteen years of pent up grief and trauma!

starting to think Aizawa never did go to therapy after that whole thing. typical U.A. “so you saw your best friend die suddenly and violently right before your eyes and subsequently suppressed it and hallucinated his voice talking to you to avoid facing that reality, huh? eh, you’ll be fine”

oh no a close-up of Aizawa that doesn’t show his face completely. this kind of thing never ends well

BECAUSE HE DOESN’T WANT THEM TO END UP LIKE YOU [sobs forever]

wait are we really going to talk about this?? omg

wait what. so do you mean to tell me he expelled them but then continued to guide them afterwards so they would have long, happy and healthy careers but more importantly would be safe omfg I’m not fucking ready for this shit

we’re cutting to U.A.’s class 2-A! Aizawa’s former class? does that mean he literally expelled EVERY SINGLE ONE of his students last year omg

so then. does every single standout characteristic of the Aizawa we know and love stem from his tragic past and his relationship with this boy then, or what? meanwhile the feelings continue to torrentially lash against my house while I huddle in the basement

I can’t fucking believe we’re actually getting a legit reveal about the “Aizawa expels all his students” gag holy shit

re-enroll!? what?? and “expel” in quotation marks?!?

ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS -- HE DID IT JUST TO SCARE THEM!? AND THEN WHAT, WERE THEY PICKED UP AFTERWARD BY THE OTHER HERO CLASSES INSTEAD? SO HE TEACHES THEM A POTENTIALLY LIFE-SAVING LESSON AND THEN GETS TO LAZE AROUND THE REST OF THE YEAR, LOL WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. THIS MAN IS A GENIUS

(ETA: and by this logic, Deku really ought to have been expelled half a dozen times by now. don’t ever try and tell me that this man doesn’t play favorites.)

so Aizawa is taking his goggles off and saying that he’s strict with his students because he wants them to live long, fulfilling lives

OH NO

SOMEHOW HORIKOSHI MADE KURO’S FACE LOOK SOFT?! I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW, IS THERE ANYTHING HE CAN’T DO

AHHHHH

OH NO HE DID IT AHHHH THE TEARS, FUCK. WELL MY HOUSE IS FUCKING DESTROYED, I’M CLIMBING UP TO THE ROOF TO AWAIT RESCUE

wow. anyways that really did get gay as fuck at the end, didn’t it. given the meaning that those goggles have to Aizawa, can this be taken as a form of marriage proposal? no? well I’m taking it that way anyway, so. congratulations you two. I’m off to go sob into a pillow now

[brittaden]

Zoey’s Extraordinary Awkward Tension

Ch. 2 is up!

AO3    FF

Zoey nervously drummed her fingers alongside the take-out cup of coffee that she had stopped for on her way into work this morning. Not that she needed the caffeine boost, she was already jittery enough at what would await her at work. That is, once she had enough courage to step out of the elevator. So far, she had stood rooted in her spot in the elevator for at least four stops now. But the weird looks from her fellow co-workers were a lot easier to deal with than with the repercussions that came with kissing your boss in the back of a car after a disastrous night out.

Who knows though, best case scenario, Joan might've been just drunk enough that she had completely forgotten about the kiss. Or was that the worst-case scenario? Not knowing which would she wanted it to be only freaked Zoey out more and was the catalyst for one more elevator ride before stepping off on the floor she worked on but that idea was halted when a hand smacked against the side of the elevator and held it so it stayed open.

"What are you doing, you weirdo?" Max asked, smiling at her with that crooked smile. "I've counted three elevator stops, are you going for a world record or something?"

"Actually, there were four and yes I am," Zoey laughed it off, hoping that Max didn't pick up on any weirdness because she couldn't even begin to explain this to him. Especially not after hearing his heart songs. That would be like rubbing salt in his wounds.

Max gave a jerk of his head back to their office space. "Well come on, there's something we need to talk about."

"What happened?" Zoey asked urgently as she fell in step behind Max. He couldn't possibly know what happened. No one could. There was no way. "Is there a crisis? Does it involve me?"

Max was leading her to where the other coders had formed a huddle around a computer but he stopped at that. "Why would it involve you? Did something happen that I don't know?"

"No, what?" Zoey stammered. Her fingers were back to nervously tapping against her coffee cup. "I have no news. Just tell me what you're talking about."

Max leaned in, as if most of the office didn't already know. "Joan and Charlie are getting a divorce."

"Oh," Zoey sighed, a wave of relief washed over her that this news wasn't about her.

He pulled back from her. "Unless you already knew that."

"I might've heard a rumor," she played it off because it's not like Max needed to know that Joan had confided in her after she relentlessly pursued the deeper meaning behind Joan's first heart song which led to her playing couple's counselor for them which then led to a new bond between them that had culminated in a drunk Joan kissing after she burned down a rose wall at an engagement party.

Yeah, that she was definitely keeping to herself.

"Hey, I like rumors," Max joked.

Zoey smiled at him. "Okay, well next time I hear our rumor about our boss getting divorced, I'll pass it on."

"That's all I'm asking."

"What are we asking for?" Joan asked, popping up out of nowhere and scaring the pair. "Are we talking about the boss' divorce too? I've already been over it but you two can catch the highlights from the other coders who think that my personal life is their business."

"Sorry," Max quickly apologized. "I just wanted to offer my condolences."

"Okay," Joan replied with a nod of her head and an unimpressed look on her face. She, then, turned to face Zoey. "We need to talk in my office."

Before Zoey could ask why or object, not that she would object an order from Joan because that was asking for trouble, Joan turned on her heel and left Zoey nervous and fidgeting once again. She shared a look with Max, one that was their usual whenever Joan demanded one of them in her office, before she followed in Joan's footsteps. She took the time to drop all her stuff on her desk before practically sprinting to Joan's office.

"You wanted to talk?" Zoey asked as cool as she could in spite of how she felt. "What's up?"

"Well, moving past that," Joan replied. She sat at her desk and pushed her tablet across the desk to Zoey. "Leif had a new idea and it was, surprisingly, good. Needs some work but there's real potential there."

"Um, okay," Zoey drug out the last syllable as she approached the desk and picked up the tablet. She tapped and swiped at the screen for a new product design called The Chirp. "This was Leif's idea?"

Joan nodded her head. "I was just as surprised as you are. He pitched it to me at Simon's engagement party, which I'm sure you remember."

Zoey could feel her cheeks heating up and her breath was caught in her chest as Joan gave her a very similar look to the one she gave her a couple nights ago. Or maybe she was imagining it. She let out a little nervous laugh. "So…um…Leif's idea?" she asked, just trying to get back on track.

"Once he pitched the idea to me, I couldn't get it out of my head. We met yesterday to go over the logistics and design for the product and since you are his supervisor now, I wanted to loop you in before we give the presentation."

"We?" Zoey questioned.

"Leif and Me," Joan answered. "Of course, we'll be bringing you into this but, for now, we'll give the presentation."

"So, you called me in here to show me the idea?"

Joan gave her a look and Zoey regretted even wasting her breath asking the question when the answer was obvious. Of course, she had been called in her to talk about Leif's idea. The idea that she didn't even know he had and that kind of bothered her since she was his superior but Joan was the one that said they needed a new idea, so, of course, he would go to her first. At the very least, Joan was looping her in now so she wasn't totally bombarded by their presentation. That was...something.

"Never mind," she said dismissing her own question. She looked away from Joan and back to the tablet in hand that showed sketches of Leif's idea. She looked back up when Joan began speaking.

"I was going to fill you in more before we gave the presentation but you decided to use the elevator as your own personal amusement park ride this morning and wasted precious time."

Zoey cringed. "You saw that?"

"I see everything, Zoey."

"Right," she said with a nod of her head. She, then, gestured to the tablet in her hand. "And this is all you called me in here for?"

Joan gave a nod of her head. "Yes, Zoey."

"Right."

She crossed her arms on her desk. "I need you to round up everyone and let them know that we'll be giving a presentation soon. Also, I need Leif in here, if you'll let him know for me."

"Aye-aye captain!" Zoey said with a mock salute to her boss that she instantly regretted. "That I can do."

"Don't ever do that again," Joan said half-heartedly.

Reflexively, Zoey gave her a thumbs up. "You got it!"

Flushed with embarrassment, Zoey turned on her heel and set out to do as Joan had asked of her. Before she got to the office door, Joan's voice was calling her back.

"Zoey?"

"Yes?" She asked a little too eager as she turned around to face her boss.

Joan clicked her tongue and pointed at the tablet still in Zoey's hand. "That's mine."

Zoey hurried back over to Joan's desk and handed over the tablet. She couldn't help but notice that during the exchange of the tablet, Joan's hand lingered on hers a little longer than normal and she smiled before taking the tablet completely away and then used the same hand to gesture in a shooing motion. Zoey bowed her head before turning back around and finally exiting the office.

Zoey considered hiding herself in one of those isolation pods where their sole purpose was total isolation and complete focus on one's work. After the morning she had, being in complete isolation with her tablet and a true crime podcast episode as her only company sounded almost perfect. But she guessed as a supervisor, she needed to be more available to those she was supposed to be supervising, so she settled on another chair in which to curl up and code.

She had successfully avoided Simon for most of the day and the few times that she couldn't avoid him, Max, she was ever thankful for him, jumped in and saved her from a whole bunch of awkwardness. They even decided to get out of the office and go to lunch together somewhere not on a campus. A fact she was also ever thankful for because it got her out of the way of Simon and Joan.

Joan.

That was a different story today. Usually, before these last couple of weeks, she avoided Joan for different reasons. Since she wasn't completely sure how she wanted things to happen with Joan after their drunken kiss in the back of a car, avoidance seemed like the best approach. However, avoiding Joan wasn't as easy as it sounded. Especially today.

She had been called into a pseudo-meeting first thing this morning where Joan just wanted to show off Leif's idea and tell her that they'll loop her in more soon. Then, after the presentation, she was called back into Joan's office where she thought they were going to discuss their new tech idea but instead Joan just ended up telling her more details about her divorce and that she was doing really great. Save for a few bad mistakes. Zoey wasn't listened as a bad idea in Joan's list but maybe that was her way of hinting at it.

No, Joan was direct and blunt and didn't talk her way around things without ever getting to the actual point. So, that couldn't have been it. At least, Zoey didn't think so. And the idea of their kiss not being a mistake, calmed Zoey down a little even though she still had a nervousness about her. Then, just as she thought she could leave, Joan mentioned that she was thinking about getting back out there in the dating world. That she was ready.

Joan still hadn't mentioned their kiss or even alluded to it, not that Zoey thought she would at work, and she didn't want to overthink anything and assume that Joan was dropping a hint to her. That would be crazy. Joan was her boss. She couldn't date her boss.

Plus, there were still the feelings for Simon that just didn't disappear overnight like she had hoped they would. And then, there was the crown jewel that was Max who had sung a couple heart songs that further sent her spiraling into a land of confusion. He was her friend. Her best friend but apparently, he was harboring feelings for her like Simon, and like Joan maybe was now.

The whole thing was almost laughable. Yes, she had dated before and had boyfriends before, and a computer camp girlfriend that opened up her eyes to dating the same sex, but to have three people into her at the same time? That was a lot to process.

Not even the true crime podcast that she had blaring in her ears could drown out everything that was rolling around in her mind. And they usually calmed her down.

Plus, maybe Joan wasn't actually interested and it wasn't something that she needed to worry about. But there wasn't an easy way to find out that answer. One doesn't simply drunkenly kiss their boss and sweep it under the rug like nothing ever happened. Joan might've been too many drinks in to exclusively remember that part of the night but Zoey knew one thing, she couldn't forget it.

The only thing that jerked Zoey out of her rambling thoughts was the taking off of her headphones that she reflexively reached up for to find that Max was the one behind the interruption.

"This is a podcast about the Golden State Killer," Max said after listening to what was playing from her headphones.

"True crime calms me down," Zoey defended as she took her headphones back from Max.

"Okay, well since you were off in serial killer land, I'm going to say that you didn't notice Joan pointing and calling you into her office, oh for like the past two minutes now," Max replied and used his eyes to direct Zoey's attention to their boss' office where Joan sat with Leif.

Sure enough, Joan was watching them and moving her finger in a 'come hither' motion directing it at Zoey.

"Again?" Zoey complained. "That's like the third time today. What could she want now?"

Max shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, it's Joan, she could want literally anything. And I mean anything."

Zoey groaned. She thought she was in the clear for today but that didn't look like it was happening. "But calling me into the office three times? Seems like overkill for today."

"Maybe someone has a crush," Max teased.

Zoey's eyes widened at that. And she grew suspicious. "What?" she asked with a little nervous laugh. "Who said anything about that?"

"Relax Zoey, it was just a joke," Max assured her. He reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. "Is everything okay? You seem a little off today."

She shook her head. "I'm just a little tired."

"Alright," Max said, his tone a little disbelieving. "Well you better go, don't want to keep Joan waiting any longer."

"Right," Zoey replied as she was already turning away from Max and heading towards Joan's office.

Back in Joan's office for the third time today, Zoey walked up to see Joan and Leif sitting on the same side of the desk. She politely knocked on the door-frame and waited for Joan to acknowledge her before she fully entered the office.

"You wanted to see me?" she asked.

"Finally," Joan said as she noticed Zoey. "You took long enough."

"Sorry, I was working on some code and I just got wrapped up in it," Zoey lied and hoped that Joan believed her.

"Good, that's why I called you in here," Joan replied, looking up at Zoey. "I have a few calls to make right now so I want you and Leif to get together and begin working more on this idea."

"Right now?" Zoey asked.

"Preferably yesterday because this is a golden idea of a product," Joan answered. "So, yes, right now."

"Okay," Zoey sighed. "Anything else?"

"Nope," Joan answered quickly, already shuffling papers around on her desk and reaching for her phone. "Just need you two to get started so we'll have something soon that we can actually present as a viable product."

Zoey nodded her head in response. With no more being said, she motioned for Leif to follow her out of Joan's office so they could find a spot to work as they were requested.

Later that night, after working the rest of her day with Leif who made it obvious that he would prefer to work with Joan, Zoey was finally packing up her things and getting ready to leave for the day. She slipped her headphones over her ears and started up another episode of a true crime podcast as she wound her way through the office and headed towards the elevator. Distant voices played over the voices coming through her headphones and her curiosity got the better of her. She slipped the headphones off and crept slowly towards the voices to find that Joan and Leif were standing in the conference room talking.

Her name popped up. That she wasn't surprised about since Leif seemed to relating everything back to Joan that they had worked on earlier. But what made her stop in her tracks, was when Leif started coming on to Joan. Judging by the look on her face, Joan seemed just as disturbed at what Leif was implying as she did. Her inner voice was screaming 'no' over and over again as music began to play in the background and Leif began to sing a heart song to Joan. Their boss.

Zoey was horrified. And not only because this was Leif and she had her own personal issues with him but his heart song was very telling of his intentions. If there was ever a time for her to interfere in her boss' personal life and stop her from making another bad mistake, this was it.

She just had to wait for Leif to finish singing because she knew that trying to interfere while someone was singing their heart song did not work out. That is if the idea of Leif trying to seduce their boss with terrible intentions didn't make her sick first. Luckily, the song was short and as soon as Leif was trying to hit on Joan again, Zoey rushed over to them.

"Hey guys, what's going on?"

She could tell Leif was mad at her when he spoke. "Actually Zoey, Joan and I were in the middle of something."

"Oh, I know," Zoey said, eyeing him carefully and wedging herself between the two. "I just had a few questions that I need to ask Joan."

"Leif," Joan said as she looked over Zoey's head at the guy in question. "I believe we're done here for the night. We'll reconvene in the morning."

Leif tried to protest but Joan cut him off and reiterated the fact that they could go over everything else tomorrow. Zoey looked over her shoulder to watch Leif begrudgingly pick up his things and leave. She tossed him a little smile and wave just to mess with him before she looked back to face Joan.

"You had some questions for me, Zoey?" Joan asked.

"Well, actually," Zoey took a few steps back from Joan. "Not really. I just...okay, here's the thing."

"Yes?"

She just needed to spit it out. "I'm your friend and I just had to tell you that I had a feeling that Leif was trying to come on to you and you mentioned your bad mistakes and Leif would definitely be a bad mistake. If not the worst. Plus, I'm pretty sure his intentions are sketchy."

Zoey waited for Joan's reactions and was both relieved and a little confused when she started to laugh.

"Oh my God, Leif?" Joan asked through a laugh. "Zoey, come on, give me some credit."

Zoey had started to laugh along with her. "It is a pretty ridiculous idea."

"Very," Joan said with a smile. "It would never happen. It flies in the face of everything I believe in regarding workplace professionalism. I'm his boss."

Zoey sucked in a deep breath. Maybe that was her answer. She wasn't even completely sure of her feelings for Joan or if she had any at all but hearing Joan talking about workplace professionalism felt like a punch in the gut when their kiss had been on her mind all day.

"Right, you're his boss, and that is totally unprofessional and wrong," Zoey started to babbled. "And you're very professional, so you wouldn't ever do that. Kiss one of your co-workers, that's absurd. And you're my boss too."

"Zoey," Joan interjected. "Are you done?"

"I guess I am now."

"Good. That was a lot of nonsense but I think I know what you're trying to say."

"You do?"

Joan gave a nod of her head. "If you're referring to Simon's engagement party, which is the only thing there is to refer to, I do remember what happened between us. And you're right, it was unprofessional."

"Right, unprofessional," Zoey agreed.

"But," Joan said as she took a step towards Zoey. "I don't regret what happened."

Zoey stood rooted in her spot. "You don't?"

"I was drunk, yes, very," she said as she took another step closer. "But I still knew what I was doing. Even if it was wrong."

Zoey stayed silent and stared up at Joan because in just a few seconds, Joan had closed the small gap between them and stood so close that they were almost touching. And now they were touching because Joan had reached out and brushed a few strands of hair that had fallen in front of her face.

"Do you regret what happened Zoey? You have been acting a little stranger than normal today."

"I..." Zoey tried to process all that was happening. "I don't."

"Okay," she smiled. "Let's have dinner."

"Tonight?"

Joan shook her head. "Not tonight, it's already late. Friday, I'll send a car to pick you up. Sound good?"

"Yep," Zoey found herself agreeing before she even knew exactly what it was that she was agreeing to. "Sounds great."

"Friday," Joan agreed. "I'll see you in the morning, Zoey."

As Zoey was trying to figure out what she agreed to by going to dinner with Joan, Joan was already packing up everything of hers that was spread out on the table beside them. She waved by to Joan as she exited and hope that her exit wasn't met with another heart song because after everything today, she wasn't sure if she could handle it. Zoey was grateful that she was only met with silence as she watched Joan walk out of view. She threw her headphones back on and immersed herself in a podcast as she hurried out of the building with her apartment in mind and to the one person that could help her navigate this new path that opened up because of her powers.

[scoundrels-in-love]

The Chariot, pretty please?

I could never say no to you, even without pretty please.

Additionally, there’s Easter Egg (certain House words and what they allude to) in this fic, courtesy of @slipsthrufingers and her The Tides which you should definitely go and read. She also technically spawned this AU, so there’s that. Also a thank you goes to  @aliveanddrunkonsunlight for one of the scenes.

___

The Chariot: victory, animals, awareness, arrows, aggression

Fortunes from Arranged Marriage/Enemies to Lovers/Soulmate AU I will probably never write in full. Except I guess I sort of did? Also on AO3.

Victory

Their marriage is a war of subtler kind.

Not quite as covert as games played at court, for they meet in the yard almost daily to take up swords and leave bruises as tally marks on each other, but on this battlefield, most bleeding is done from one’s soul.

Jaime prides himself in doing so rarely, collects each glare and sneer, every time blankness frosts over her face to hide the hurt, wraps them up in bundles of victory with the red of her angry, splotchy blush. Stockpiles them in neat rows within the room he has made just for his hatred of this union - and the self-righteous wife of his, too.

But somewhere along the way, between all the fighting they do back to back (even when they are miles apart) out of sheer necessity, among truths that pour out of him like bad blood and leave him drained but almost healing, his goals gradually change.

He begins to yearn for another nod of approval, a glance that’s not seeped in disdain like bitterest tea known to man, for corners of her large mouth to not turn down as deeply and so often. A smile is earned through an entire campaign.

But the ground he tries to advance on is littered with rocks he threw at her. The gold chain of his old victories wraps around his throat, slowly chokes out the life of tender shoots of something else that tries to sprout between the two of them. And sometimes he goes back to old cruelties because it’s familiar, if uncomfortable armor against impossibilities. Changing the direction of rivers in her heart seems too monumental a task even for him.

(Yet he tries, tongue tripping over the insult he said yesterday painting her gaze just a little colder than three days before.)

Aggression

At first, she sleeps with her sword close, listening for any noise on the other side of door that separates their chambers. Just because she intends to honor the vows and alliance hatched from them, vulnerable and trembling like any other newborn, does not mean Kingslayer will. What is one more oath cut by a sword in vulnerable back of someone you’re meant to protect? Aggression simmers in air between them both, as intangible as heatwave and as sturdy as fortress of dislike they’ve build for each other.

But their personal enemies become their common ones, then some they earn jointly and at one point, she realizes they only fight together these days. There is almost (not almost, there is) safety in it and definitely trust - which she doesn’t know when she surrendered, but she can only hope it will never get thrown bloody and battered in her face. With each passing month, it grows a little sturdier, able to weather even stronger storms of doubts.

Sometimes he even shoulders his way into battles that are only her own - when someone japes about her looks, he incinerates them with a word or two (and there is that story of a golden punch she’s yet to confirm with him).  When men sneer at her Brienne of the Rock as if she’s become part of it, part of Westerlands. Part of his family. Jaime corrects them, reminds that she’s of Tarth and she wishes there wouldn’t be a pang of something unnameable (but frightfully alike hurt). But why would he not, if it isn’t one of the few things she brought to this union?

On those evening, she beats the training dummy with more vigor than usually.

Animals

When Jaime was a child, he thought the Houses with beasts in their sigils were certainly the most impressive. He didn’t loathe the Lion of Lannisters yet, hadn’t grown into the image either. And what is a wheat field to dragon? It had seemed to him as if some Houses wanted to announce they were lesser.

After meeting Brienne, he decides Tarth sigil is as unsightly as its only heir. It is childish, especially considering how he holds no love for lions anymore, but truly, Tarth is trying too hard, with the suns and crescents on the rose and blue reminiscent of dawn. Which makes sense with their House words, too - First Light in the Dark, they promise to be.

When he jokes about it, his wife explains that it stands for the lighthouse Evenstars have maintained for centuries in a tone that would make a lesser man feel chastised. It’s one of the first times she speaks more than a sentence to him, even if it is dripping in restrained disdain even more than the rest. And somehow, he keeps thinking back to her House words from time to time.

Perhaps because he starts to see the light of the line, ironically. Her face is the first he can discern when he comes to after losing his hand, and her pale head bobs above the murky waters of fever and pain, leading him onward. Her honor and righteous nature makes the dishonor surrounding him feel even darker, yet gives him just enough light, direction to chase it like Galleythat guides to west. He cannot even blame their soulmarks for this (like he blames it for the restless pattern of his heart around her these days), it is merely who she is, and he isn’t only one led by her.

Jaime’s opinion changes on other matters, too - he had thought what is wheat field to dragon, but what is a wolf or a lion to the sun or the moon? Even a dragon pales into comparison. He has seen skulls of those, in the depths of Red Keep, but the sun shines on him still as it shone on the beast’s hide.

The sigil, he decides in the end, is as magnificent as Brienne and sometimes, he dreams of a lion-gold painted child who bears it. Another late and unforeseen side-effect of their soulmate bond, surely. (That fills him with such soft longing he wonders if she’d taste it on his lips, should she kiss him.)

Awareness

Through the first months of marriage, Brienne is more aware of her body than she has ever been in her life. Particularly when she is around Jaime Lannister. Every inch of skin seems to be prickling with reminder its stretched over limbs that are too long, blood pumps hot with anger through her body that’s too tall and too broad and her face often burns with blushes, highlighting her ugly features which cannot hide her emotions.

He greatly delights in pointing all of it out, if not with words as sleek as a blade, then with a twist of his mouth or cocked eyebrow. She wants nothing more than to remind him this mannish body might not be made for songs of love (something she’s come to terms with, Brienne insists in the dead of night as she lays awake in her bed, married but barely kissed), but it’s perfectly fine for a warrior.

And then she does. Brienne doesn’t win the bout, but what she gains instead is reclamation of her comfort in her husband’s presence. Maybe because the next time she sees Jaime, she knows of bruise she rightfully placed on his shoulder or because something shifts between them - their marriage is still a raging storm they weather separately, but the wind is angled just a little from the side now. (She hates the thought Jaime’s attitude might control such a force of nature.)

Much later, the awareness comes back, but with the flavor of heady, sweet wine that sends ghost of dizziness through her, a lot like his proximity does now. Part of her doesn’t even think of her ugliness, would believe that heat of his shoulder almost burns hers when they sit too close. The sane half of her laughs at her, in a voice that sounds just like her lord husband’s. She isn’t sure which makes her think of her soulmark more, not in the betrayed anger of initial discovery, but wistful sort of resignation.

Brienne wishes she could be angry still.

Arrows

Jaime is not fond of archery - he is not terrible at it, but nothing about it entices him to train enough to excel. He prefers the straightforward honesty of a sword, face to face with your opponent. He knows Brienne does, too, long before he even meets her.

So, he thinks it is ironic that arrow may be the thing that takes her away from him, even before she is his. (But he has been hers for ages, she just doesn’t know. He didn’t. Now she never may.)

It’s just a rumor, a throwaway line about one of generals being perhaps mortally wounded by archer. He should be concerned, of course, because any such loss is a complication they don’t need, but there is no other name that comes to him, only Brienne Brienne Brienne in a damning chant, as if he had entered mourning already. No, they would tell him if his wife was dying, if she had perished already. But no raven has come yet and his night is haunted by thought of her dying alone, dying.

So the very next morning, he rides out, duties be damned. In fact, he is merely picking different oath to honor now, the one he said in the Sept truly a lifetime ago. The man that stood there perished years ago along with his right hand, but there is a Jaime Lannister breathing still and he pledged himself, his love that had not taken root yet, to her with the only kiss they have shared. And if he has to claim second one from bloodstained lips, willing his life into her somehow, then so be it.

When he rides into the camp at nightfall, unrest ripples through it as if he had plunged himself into a pond. He doesn’t stop until he comes to her tent; the chest with the gem that lured him beneath the surface.

He hurries in and then freezes two steps later, because she is there, looking up alarmed from where she has been pouring over letters. Perhaps even one to tell him of her state and whomever might be injured in her stead. “Jaime?” She asks and he tries to remember how to breathe, even the sigh of relief hasn’t got past something dislodging in his chest, wobbling there and looking for an edge to fall over.

“Jaime, what are you doing here? Are you alright? Did something happen at the Rock?” Brienne stands up, frown on her face, but one of concern, and her eyes ask for an answer to riddle his presence has brought. He shakes his head and she makes her way toward him, only slightly more at ease.

Jaime sways in the small space between same and change, between the waterfall of feelings that could take him crashing on the rocks and safety of playing it off with a joke, something neutral. Anything but the truth.

He has jumped cliffs for lesser things.

“I heard you were hurt,” he offers, lamely, feeling as if he’s ten again, telling truths that make for shoddy excuses to get out of scolding.

“The rumors of my injury are greatly exaggerated, though sadly same cannot be said of Ser -”

“You are injured?” His voice breaks on the jagged truth and he looks her over again for a sign of harm, but sees nothing obvious.

“Just a scratch that should be healed by next battle. Nothing that will impede our victory. Jaime, why are you here? Are there news from the Starks?”

He thinks of when he asked her a month ago if she hadn’t dreamed of love from songs before agreeing so simply to their union of convenience. She had thought him mocking once more, her face darkening, and reminded him nothing about her choice had been easy. And then, soothed by something in his expression, told him she knew she was neither the maid nor the knight of legends old. I am made for war, Jaime, but no one will ride across the battlefield just to hear my voice.

He could not tell her different then, could not risk to breach the peace warmed by morning sun, but he cannot stop his free fall now. (Unless she doesn’t want him, not even want to want to him. Then he will collide with the rocks below where water turns to foam and never speak of it again.)

“I thought my wife was injured, perhaps dying, and had to hear her scolding me at least once more.”

Her face is blank, flimsy lace of confusion around the edges, and then he can watch the dawn in her blue eyes, as light of realization begin to shine in them, but just as Jaime starts to smile, the sun sinks back into the oceans and her gaze dims.

“Brienne.” He hopes he doesn’t sound like he’s pleading, because he doesn’t want to beg anymore, not even her. Especially not her. She wouldn’t want him to and it’s one of the things he loves about her. But as Brienne takes a step back, shaking her head, he thinks he would do just about anything to have her hear him out.

“No,” her voice is small, almost comically so, as her shoulders hunch as if Brienne is trying to hide from herself, from him (he hates it), before she straightens up and sets her jaw mulishly, staring him down. “No.”

“No because you do not feel the same or no because you think this cannot be true?” There is challenge in his tone as he chases her deeper into the tent. Her silence is an answer, one he can chip away at with an almost patient hand. They sat in their personal castles, bridges up, for so long, but now meeting in neutral grounds isn’t enough for him anymore, he wants to live in her fortress, to be present in every room and fill it with love. He will do just that, infiltrate the depths of the keep gently and with persistence that rivals her stubbornness, if only he knows she would want it, if she dared to.

“I did not ride for an entire day just to make a cruel joke, wife. I thought we were past that, that you trusted me.” Jaime catches his own hurt before it taints his tone too deeply - this is not about him, not in this way. He wants to soothe her instead, reaches out and cups her cheek gently, Brienne’s exhale soft and trembling.

“I do,” she tells him quietly, with firmness and sincerity that buries itself right into his chest, the force of it finally freeing the half-stuck something and he pushes himself up on the balls of his feet, their eyes on even level now. There’s sunlight lighting up the blue once more, tentative but no less blinding and he feels drunk on it.

“Then trust me in this, too. Like I trust you.” His whisper caresses her lips, just a moment before his own follow suit.

In the end, she catches him mid-fall as she always does.

[laughoutloudcats]

11 years down

Yesterday marked 11 years of Laugh-Out-Loud Cats. Later this month they’ll hit installment number 3000, and then onward to even more, including another book. But more on that later. For now, in case you missed it all those years ago, I’m reposting John Hodgman’s introduction to my book The Laugh-Out-Loud Cats Sell Out (which is still available for as little as 3 cents). Thank you again John, and thank you everyone.

BEGIN QUOTED TEXT Good evening. My name is John Hodgman, and I regret to inform you that the book you hold in your hand is not real. Do not be alarmed. I am not suggesting that this book is a figment of your imagination. For that would suggest that these very words of introduction themselves are a product of your diseased mind. But the fact is that you are not insane, and I do not live inside your head (yet.) No. Obviously this book EXISTS. But as a former professional literary agent, I have had some experience in elaborate literary hoaxes (I’m looking at you “Michael Chabon,” All of you.). And as a current famous minor television personality, I am naturally a first class authority on being a fraud. And so, having carefully examined these LAUGH-OUT-LOUD CATS cartoons, I have determined that while they are VERY ENJOYABLE and certainly ABOUT CATS, they were not drawn in 1912, as is claimed. How can I tell? Three things. First, the slang used by the cats “Kitteh” and “Pip” is quite contemporary, and almost surely inspired by the “LOL CATS,” (even the names are similar). If you are not familiar with it, LOL CATS is a popular Internet trend involving taking pictures of actual live cats at the precise moment they are talking. It’s a challenging hobby, requiring considerable skill and patience, and also a computer. It is much much harder than just sitting down and drawing an old-timey picture of cats. Second, Kitteh and Pip, you will notice, are portrayed as lovable hoboes. Throughout the strips, they gently chase their small, typically feline desires (naps, stew, and a good game of cards) along the back alleys and meandering country roads of a cartoon version of the early 20th century. Now, anyone can tell you that there certainly were hobo cats during this time, they were vicious creatures who lived cruel lives, and frequently killed their masters. More telling, however, is the fact that cats did not actually start standing on their hind legs until 1972, after the experiments. And it was not until 1980 that Pip’s arbitrary, overwhelming obsession with falling leaves was first bred in the American Shorthair at the Yale Feline Studies lab. Third, I applied the ACID TEST, which is something of a misnomer, as the test involves no acid at all. Instead, the original, hand-drawn cartoons are simply inserted into a small fire. Based on the burn rate of the paper (Fast! Fast! So merry and fast!), I can attest that those cartoons that survived the process and are now collected here almost certainly were not created before the year 2006. YES: 2007. But, you protest, we all remember Aloysius Gamaliel Koford. He was a major historical figure: a daring walrus-hunter, statesman and spy! Why, if it were not for the many folktales and young adult novels based on his life, the whole public image of the cartoonist as a glamorous, sexually confident, man of adventure would probably not exist! But it is so. For my research leads to one inescapable conclusion: Aloysius Koford is nothing but a myth, an internet rumor, a shadow puppet cast upon the wall all formed by the twisted, stubby fingers of man standing the darkness. A man named ADAM KOFORD. But, you continue to protest: ADAM “APE LAD” KOFORD?!? The supposed great grandson of the now thoroughly debunked Aloysius Koford? But that man is a DISGUSTING NOBODY. How could he possibly be a CARTOONIST? Let me tell you the story as best as I can reconstruct it. I first came to know Koford’s work some three years ago. I had released a book of fake history entitled THE AREAS OF MY EXPERTISE. Like all decent reference books, it contained within it a number of handy hobo nicknames, which number was 700. And soon a friendly website would suggest that cartoonists begin illustrating each of the hoboes alluded to in my book and posting them on the web. I trust you see the sense behind all of this, and no further explanation is required. Now it would seem that this Adam Koford is something of an “internet user.” For from the beginning of what would be known as “the 700 hoboes” project, the “Ape Lad” was among the fastest and most prolific contributors. He drew hoboes in every media: chalk hoboes and watercolor hoboes; hoboes as they might have been drawn by George Herriman and hoboes as they might have been drawn by Disney and Al Hirschfeld and hoboes as they might have been drawn by a young man in Florida with a seemingly bottomless barrel of talent and spare time. He drew all 700 and a hundred more, and then he started all over again. Intrigued, I did a simple Google search for the term “Ape Lad” (for I am the world’s greatest detective), and I found not only Adam Koford, but as well a vertiginous portfolio of non-hobo material, comics and spot illustrations in every historical style, each one singing with the Ape Lad’s intelligence, skill, and good humor. Soon I would see his name everywhere on the Internet, and then in the New Yorker. And then finally, THE LAUGH-OUT-LOUD CATS debuted, his signature achievement. For those of us who had followed his work, it seemed at once a perfect tweaking of the Internet that he makes his home, filtered through his own encyclopedic nostalgia for the comics form and the hobo obsessive disorder/general mania (HOD/GMan) that is his sad affliction. And since he just can’t stop creating, Koford then created a creator: Aloysius Koford. As though discovering a secret pile of cartoons was the only way to explain his incredibly daily output. As though the ruse and the joke would apologize and distract us from the fact that he had created something better than the internet memes that has inspired it. For more than that, so much more, THE LAUGH OUT LOUD CATS a thing of intrinsic smarts and beauty. It is always clever in its wordplay (“Cognito,” announces Pip in a ridiculous false beard, “We are in it”). But glib, it is un-it. Rather, in its sincerity and unfussy, beautiful craftsmanship, it rivals the best of the old-fashioned strips it seeks to emulate. And yes, I am including Krazy Kat in that group, because that has only once cat in it, and this one has two. Since then, I have had the chance to meet Adam Koford. We had dinner and drinks, and I can tell you that he is not a walrus hunter. He is a normal person with a wife and two children. At dinner he eats moderately, and a drinks he did notdrink, but he was still good, sweet company. He is not a mad man or a spy or an eccentric. He is simply a genius. And that, frankly, is far more exciting, and surprising. I hope and trust you will enjoy this work, as fraudulent as it is. Now I must go and set to work proving that GET FUZZY is actually written by Thomas Pynchon. That is all. END QUOTED TEXT

[penniesforthestorm]

On Jane, Part 2

Actually I Mostly Talk About Rochester in This One

Greetings, pals! Today's chunk lends itself a bit more naturally to analysis, because it's primarily concerned with the development of the relationship between Jane and Rochester, concurrent with the deepening of the mystery surrounding Thornfield Hall (those 'bumps in the night' I mentioned in yesterday's post). Again, if you haven't read the book, you will probably be confused by a lot of what follows here—if you have read the book and you're still confused, I apologize. With that in mind, let's get to it.

First of all, let's talk about this Rochester fellow. By the time he actually physically enters the picture, we know very little about him. He's not a titled peer, but he's evidently wealthy enough to spend most of his time traveling around Europe. He's apparently well-liked by his tenants and employees, though Mrs. Fairfax (so far, the chief source of information for both Jane and the audience) makes a reference to his eccentric personality. Beyond that, he's an unknown quantity.

When Jane first sees him charging down the icy lane on his black horse, she thinks of a mystical creature, the Gytrash, known to haunt solitary lanes at nightfall. During their first real conversations, Rochester teasingly accuses Jane of bewitching his horse, asking if he had broken through a fairy-circle. These particular scenes are some of my favorites, because they give such a clear idea of both characters. For his part, Rochester addresses Jane as a person, with thoughts and opinions worth hearing. And Jane rises to the occasion, frankly and innocently answering his questions. In the second conversation, when Rochester asks if Jane finds him handsome, she answers ‘no’, not out of any intent to insult, but out of simple honesty. Rochester pretends to be piqued, but given the way the rest of the conversation proceeds, it’s clear that he finds her candor admirable, even as he pokes fun at her naïveté.

For a while, not much happens. Winter thaws into spring, and Rochester and Jane’s conversations deepen. He tells her the rather Romantic story of Adele’s parentage—himself, the young wastrel, seduced by the feckless showgirl Celine Varens. But the anecdote is revealing. Despite his professed lack of enthusiasm for the company of children and his rather dismissive attitude toward Adele herself, he nevertheless rescued her from a probable grim fate. In Paris, Adele was the illegitimate daughter of a woman who was about one rung up the ladder from a prostitute. In England, she is being raised in a comfortable home, and educated as a member of the upper classes, no doubt with an eye toward a future advantageous marriage, as long as nobody asks too many questions. One could argue that Rochester’s actions in this case constitute the most basic level of human decency, but within the context of the story, wherein children are either spoiled rotten or cast off and starved, Rochester comes off looking like quite the benefactor.

(I could derail this into a Whole Thing about the trend of novels in the 19th Century still functioning largely as allegory and not precisely meant to represent the Real World—Dickens, Thackeray, Hardy to an extent, and of course Wuthering Heights, but I feel like that deserves further and better research than what I’m going for here. Still, I think it’s another thing that often gets missed in discussions of this novel, and thus, the more melodramatic elements of the work seem incongruous with its overall ‘realistic’ tone.)

Now, a bit more on those bumps in the night. Ever since Jane’s earliest days at Thornfield, she’s been aware of an eerie laugh issuing from some rooms on the third story of the house. There is a servant who stays there, rarely venturing down to the rest of the house, and her name is given as Grace Poole. Everybody seems rather vague on the subject of what Grace actually does, and Jane, being observant, begins to suspect that there is something going on with Grace, despite her thoroughly ordinary appearance and taciturn manner.

These suspicions come quite literally roaring to life one night, when Jane hears that laugh in the hall outside her bedroom, and ventures outside to discover that Rochester’s room has been set on fire. Jane runs in and douses him with water, and once he is aware of the situation, he dashes off, telling her to stay there and wait until he returns. The bit that follows his return is an interesting one—Rochester urges Jane’s silence, and confirms Grace Poole as the owner of the laugh, terming her a ‘singular’ (here meaning odd) person. Jane begins to leave, but Rochester detains her for a second, sincerely thanking her for saving his life, and speaking to her in his fondest tone yet. This instant marks another significant step in Jane’s ascension—she is not just Rochester’s ‘paid subordinate’, she is his confidante and quite literally his savior. The incident has bound them together in a way neither of them understands just yet.

And this closeness is seemingly dashed the next morning, when Jane is informed that Rochester has gone off to visit some friends, and will likely not return for several weeks. When he does come back, he is accompanied by a full complement of guests, including the imposing, imperious Miss Blanche Ingram, who Rochester is rumored to be courting as a future bride. At first, Jane is crushed—Blanche has money, beauty, accomplishments, and power. Again, this could be a jumping-off point for a discussion about how marriage among the upper classes at that period of time still hewed fairly close to its feudal roots, more as a way of securing finances than as an expression of emotional attachment. But you can read Jane Austen for that. In this case, Blanche wanting to marry Rochester for his money isn’t quite as much of a stain on her character as it might seem to a modern reader. Her vanity and coldness, however, serve as kindling for Jane’s feisty side—at one point, she dismisses Blanche as ‘a mark beneath jealousy’.

Another strange incident occurs after the guests have been staying at Thornfield for quite some time. Mr. Rochester leaves on some errand, and in his absence, a stranger shows up at the house, claiming to be a friend of Rochester’s. He is described as around thirty-five, dark-haired and handsome, but somehow deficient. Jane gives particular attention to his ‘wandering eye’ and his peculiar accent. We soon learn that his name is Richard Mason, and he has come all the way from Jamaica to pay a visit to his ‘old friend’.

In the interest of keeping things moving, I’m not going to discuss the business with Rochester in disguise as the fortune-teller. Once he unmasks himself before Jane, and she informs him of Mason’s arrival, we see a reaction in him we haven’t seen before: fear. He begs Jane for comfort, asking her what she would do if the assembled company suddenly turned against him. Assured of her fidelity, he rejoins his friends and apparently greets Mason calmly enough.

Once again, however, Jane is awakened by noises in the dark—screams, this time, from the regions where Grace Poole keeps her dark vigils. In due course, Rochester summons her. The newly-arrived Mr. Mason is lying injured in an upstairs room, and Rochester enlists Jane to keep watch while he fetches the doctor. He orders Mason not to speak to Jane, which, considering that the guy’s barely conscious, doesn’t seem like a difficult request to fulfill.

Rochester and the doctor return, and it’s revealed that Mason was bitten, as well as being stabbed with a knife. Once Mason is fixed up enough to leave, Rochester sends him on his way, but not before a brief, fraught conversation, in which Mason begs him to take care of Her—that mysterious inhabitant of the upstairs room. Rochester tersely replies that he has done his best, and will continue to do it.

Rochester then summons Jane into a garden, and attempts to unburden himself to her. He alludes to his past misdeeds, without giving much in the way of satisfactory detail, and testifies to his sincere wish for his own redemption. He tells her, finally, that he thinks he has found it… in Miss Ingram. He calls her his ‘lovely one’, and suddenly becomes cheerful and jocular. Neither Jane, nor the reader, is satisfied by this.

This brings us nearly to the end of the book’s actual first volume, and (more to the point) near the end of this installment of my…whatever this is. I also think I’m going to need to do two more of these, rather than just one, like I’d originally planned. I’m assuming that if you’ve gotten this far, you’re just as invested as I am.

There is one more major occurrence: the illness and death of Jane’s Aunt Reed. Bessie, Jane’s old nurse, comes to inform her that Mrs. Reed has suffered a stroke, but has been asking for Jane. Jane pays one last visit to her former childhood home, to find it greatly changed: her cousin John has committed suicide, Eliza has become a religious obsessive, and Georgiana is a hapless social climber (though it’s worth noting that she treats the adult Jane with a certain friendliness). And what of Aunt Reed? Before she slips off her mortal coil, she passes Jane a vital piece of information—Jane has a rich uncle from her father’s side, a wine-merchant in Madeira, who has asked for information on Jane’s whereabouts, with a view toward making her his heir. Jane, for her part, offers her aunt her forgiveness, and in this way, seals off that portion of her past.

In tomorrow’s recap, we’ll get to the really juicy stuff. For anyone who’s reading along, thanks a bunch, and feel free to come tell me your thoughts. For anyone who missed yesterday’s, Part 1 is here: http://penniesforthestorm.tumblr.com/post/176721452934

[womenofcolor15]

RUMOR CONTROL: Bobby Brown's Lawyer Says Singer Was NOT Struck By A Vehicle, Says Leolah's Handing Out FAKE NEWS!

It seems Bobby Brown was NOT struck by a vehicle like his sister, Leolah Brown Muhammad, said. More inside...

Bobby Brown's camp is doing damage control.

Yesterday, the singer's sister, Leolah Brown Muhammad, hopped on Facebook and said that the New Edition singer had been seriously injured after he was hit by a speeding car! Not only that, she alluded to it being an ordered hit on his life. In her Facebook post, she said her brother was walking when a car came "straight for him" and hit him in an attempt to "kill him." She even fired shots at Bobby's wife, Alicia Etheredge, suggesting she may have had something to do with the accident.

Now, Bobby's lawyer is speaking out, disputing her claims.

“There are reports circulating that Bobby Brown was hit by a car over the weekend and substantially injured both his legs. The reports are false and Bobby Brown was in Los Angeles enjoying time with his family this weekend," Bobby's attorney Christopher Brown told The Blast.

"Mr. Brown was not struck by a vehicle over the weekend and statements from Leolah Brown to the contrary are fake news," he continued.

The "Prerogative" singer was spotted with his wife, Alicia, and their kids, shopping at the Farmer's Market in Studio City over the weekend.  Leolah didn't givce the date of the alleged incident, but it surely sounded recent.

Interesting.

Apparently, the legendary singer is just fine and he's gearing up to head out on tour in Japan and Australia in October 2019 with RBRM (Ronnie, Bobby, Ricky & Mike).

Fans hopped in Leolah's comments about Bobby's lawyer calling her story "Fake news," but she's sticking to her story.

  A fan asked why Bobby's lawyer would say she's lying and here's her response:

"... because in my opinion I feel that Christopher Brown is a FAKE PERSON AND SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT IN ANY WAY HAVE MY BROTHERS BEST INTEREST. Also, in my opinion and to the best of my knowledge HE IS ALSO MORE OF A "CLOSE" FRIEND TO ALICIA THAN BOBBY! This is a man who poses as an attorney for my brother but YET along with Alicia is the PRESIDENT of my niece Bobbi Kristinas so call foundation. That alone is a conflict of interest"

Who do you believe?

Photos: INSTAR

  [Read More ...] source http://theybf.com/2019/08/26/rumor-control-bobby-browns-lawyer-says-singer-was-not-struck-by-a-vehicle

[jacobhinkley]

Speculation Rife as Bithumb Situation Develops, Market Recovers

The Bithumb situation has quickly developed over the past 24 hours, resulting in rampant speculation about what exactly happened.

Bithumb ‘Suspiciously’ Deletes Original Tweet

News of yesterday’s hack quickly broke on Bithumb‘s official Twitter account, but oddly enough, Bithumb deleted the original message after only a few hours. The original message stated that all deposits and withdrawals would be locked due to the theft of over $30 million worth of cryptocurrencies from the exchange’s wallets.

This seemingly random deletion led to a period of speculation and confusion for cryptocurrency community members. Some began to speculate that the hack was actually an ‘inside’ job, with a few drawing lines between a $28 million tax raise for Bithumb and the most recent hack.

WhalePanda, popular cryptocurrency personality, fueled the rumors by taking a light-hearted jab at Bithumb on Twitter.

Bithumb had to pay $28 million worth of back taxes and now lost $30 million less than 2 weeks later. https://t.co/spvFpzpb6X pic.twitter.com/DPq9kQG7Nm

— WhalePanda (@WhalePanda) June 20, 2018

It is likely that the matching figures are just an untimely coincidence, and that Bithumb had only the best intentions while posting the aforementioned tweet. As a matter of fact, Bithumb left up a post on the ‘Bithumb Cafe’ blog, further showing that the Asian-based exchange only meant well. 

The aforementioned blog post stated:

We sincerely apologize for any inconvenience you may have experienced. However, we will make every effort to reopen the service as soon as possible, with the ultimate goal of protecting your assets.

Despite the aforementioned post, it has become apparent that Bithumb will need to further address the issue to calm the cryptocurrency community. Firstly, ensuring its customers that all funds are safe, and secondly, notifying users that the funds lost will be fully reimbursed.

Bitcoin Fees Skyrocket: Was it Bithumb’s Fault?

Once news of the hack was released, Bitcoin transaction fees took an abnormal turn to the upside, with average fees moving from 58 cents to $2.94. Although this was unexpected, CEO of BitRefill, Sergej Kotaliar, confirmed that this odd uptick in transaction fees was due to Bithumb moving Bitcoin out of their hotwallet.

He said:

Currently big backlogs and high fees on the Bitcoin network. Just confirmed that it is Bithumb, cleaning out their hotwallet.

Chart courtesy of BitInfo

Bithumb had to issue their transactions with absurd fees to ensure that miners marked the outgoing transactions as a priority. Bithumb reportedly overpaid fees by 100 times, which really goes to show how desperate they were to get the hot wallet Bitcoin into cold storage. It is likely that this fee surge will only be temporary, as high fee transactions leave Bitcoin’s mempool over the upcoming days. 

Market Stays Strong Even After $30 Million Hack

Despite taking a 3% tumble minutes after the attack, the market quickly bounced back, as price levels have now re-approached the levels seen prior to the apparent hack. Bitcoin is now stable at $6750, and Ethereum has re-approached $540. Other popular altcoins have followed this trend, with prices moving up slowly towards a collective $300 billion market cap.

Charlie Lee, founder of Litecoin and well-known cryptocurrency personality went on CNBC’s Fast Money segment to address the hack.

He said:

“Whenever there is an exchange hack, people get scared and the price drops. It happens all the time. But it doesn’t really change the fundamentals of Bitcoin, Litecoin or other cryptocurrencies because it’s like, if a bank gets broken in and gold is stolen, does that affect the price of gold? It shouldn’t.”

With this statement, Charlie Lee alludes that Bitcoin, along with the rest of the cryptocurrency market, should not tank after the announcement of an exchange hack. Fast Money host, Melissa Lee, also questioned Charlie about the current price action seen with cryptocurrencies, to which Charlie replied:

“I believe we are kind of in a bear market right now. But I believe that the prices will rebound, and prices will come back up shortly.”

  Image from Shutterstock

The post Speculation Rife as Bithumb Situation Develops, Market Recovers appeared first on NewsBTC.

Speculation Rife as Bithumb Situation Develops, Market Recovers published first on https://medium.com/@smartoptions

[cameron-mckell]

WIP guessing game: "There"

Well, I’ll give credit where it’s due; you picked a word I (apparently) like to use a lot. I also have a lot of works-in-progress, so this reply is rather long. Some of these sentences are from the same works, and on a couple occasions I added in a surrounding sentence for a little bit of context (I couldn’t help myself), and here we are.

Organizing this by fandom, so...

Miscellaneous (A.K.A. crossovers):

‘“Yeah, I know, but there has to be something we canhook into wirelessly; check for webcams, cellphones, anything. I needto know what's going on in there.”’

‘There were a couple ofrequests in reply, so Bruce headed for the door, coincidentally following Tonyout with the shield for repairs.’

‘Steve walked to theother end of the mat, casually stretching as he went, “Um... Well, obviously nolethal force, and no permanent damage, though I don't personally care ifthere's a little bruising, but I tend to heal up fast, so.” He shrugged, andTony had to look away to hide his smirk; yeah, that serum made pretty shortwork of bruising.’

‘Just as he was bending down to assess the damage, and if theycould save him if they got an emergency medical team up there (and stupid, whyhadn't Tony thought of that and called them already?), Tron suddenly came backto life. With a vengeance.

One moment, he was lying there, perfectly still (still as death),and the next, he was all movement; he rolled and struck out with his legs, in amove that looked more like break dancing than fighting, and swept Steve's legsout from under him. He didn't stop there, though, using the momentum of thesweep to pull on (and twist to an uncomfortable angle) Steve's leg with hishands, while his legs twisted up, incidentally smacking Steve in the stomach,before catching his neck in a pincer-like grip, a hair's breadth away from countlesslethal finishers that even Steve probably couldn't survive.’

‘And that's when henoticed the cracks; there was a collection of thin, fine cracks over Tron'schest, centering on where Steve had hit him – they transferred between armorand suit without a pause, which was only mildly strange, until Tony saw aparticularly ambitious one that ran up slightly onto Tron's neck.’

‘Flynn stood half infront of Tron, smiling for all that his hands were in fists at his sides, andyes, there was definite recognition in his eyes, but he didn't move from hisprotective position.’

‘I'd like to avoid doingeither of these things, as JARVIS is a beautiful system – though there is sometraffic congestion on the main pathways – and your programs are friendly, andonly fulfilling their functions, but so am I.”’

‘But, wait, yesterday Itried to get in during the meeting, and you were there, so how could you havebeen –”’

‘And there was Tron.’

‘If she didn't bathe, orchange her clothes it didn't matter; there was no one around to see her oldenough to voice an opinion on her appearance. Every time she forgot to eat justmeant fewer dishes were lying around, waiting to be cleaned up.’

‘Seemingly unaware of thesuddenly self-conscious squirming of the widow, he continued on about the manydifferent options there were when it came to grief counseling, some based inTerran medical practices, while others were completely alien.’

‘They stopped,thankfully, when the group counselor spoke up, one pair of eyes crinklingslightly with welcome, while the other pair widened with concern, “Alan? Isthere something we can help you with?”’

‘He hesitated a moment,glancing guiltily at his friend, before shaking his head, “I can't today; Ihave to pick Jet up in twenty minutes, and it'll take me fifteen to get therefrom here. I'm sorry.”’

‘Something in there musthave been a reference to an in-joke, because the other man cracked a weaksmile, and gently brushed off Alan's hand on his shoulder, “Yeah, okay.’

‘Everyone ignored it, andthe session resumed, as if there had been no interruption at all.’

‘“At first, I thought I'd got zapped into the future again,”Steve commented from out of the blue right behind him, and Holy Crap, howlong had Steve been standing there?

 “Werethere flying cars?” Tony asked with a healthy dose of false cheerfulness,setting down his calipers so as to at least give Steve the appearance of havinghis full attention; to be fair, he had most of it, Tony just generally had ahard time of turning the rest of his brain off.‘

‘Were there no elevators or stairs in computer-world?’

‘There was just somany things – both more satisfying, and more productive – that he could bedoing with his time, instead of working on his phone to keep from nodding off,while a group of stuffy, greedy paper-pushers tried to gussy up their ownagendas and sell him on them.’

‘He'd been expecting twolarge contract negotiation teams – full of frosty men and women, dressed intheir corporate finest, carefully not-glaring at their not-quite businessrivals across the table, until they all turned at his not-so-fashionably lateentrance to not-glare at him then studiously ignore him, and he them, until nearthe end of the meeting, where he gave whatever-it-was the green or red light,and went back to doing important things – but there were only six people in theroom, including himself.’

‘There was a brown-hairedman standing by the window, facing out, hands clasped in the small of his back;the pose reminded Tony of one he'd caught Steve using every now and then,usually right before a mission.’

‘There was a steelinessin her spine that curbed most – but not all, that was probably impossible – ofhis inappropriate thoughts, but her expression was open and curious.’

‘He waved theconversation away, and was about to start in on another random topic or other –like what the deal was with all the motorcycle jackets – when there wassuddenly a stiletto heel threatening to crush his foot, and Pepper had takenover talking, “Please, don't mind Tony; he doesn't have much of a filterbetween his brain and mouth.’

‘There had been rumors ofa secret project that would change everything – Flynn alluded to it in some ofhis later presentations – but no one knew anything about it after he was gone,including Bradley, his best friend.’

‘A lot of advancementshave been made since then; there might not be a market for it anymore.” Or, inplain English 'We all know that there is some major emotional baggage with thisproject, are you wanting to do this for that reason, or is there an actualpoint, and possibly money to be made?' It was a little harsh, maybe, but if this was just somethingnostalgic to see through to the end without anything greater in mind, it wouldbe better for the company to refuse them, and use the space and power forbetter things – like the energy shielding project that was currently on arelatively low priority list for Tony to work on himself, because the potentialdestructive uses for the technology was rather high, and the company payoutswould be low, unless he could work out a safer design, and then there was theissue of –’

‘“There's also thesubject of your ethics policy, Mr. Stark.”’

‘His disciplinary profilewas nonexistent, not classified; there was simply nothing to put in it. Incontrast, there were very few notations of withheld information in hispsychological profile; Jim couldn't decide if this was a good thing or not.’

MCU:

‘Then there was Natasha, who was fine anyway.’

‘Tony took a moment toverify the contents of the clothing bundle – and yep, there was a sports bra inthere – and finally managed to look at Steve's face without automaticallyjerking his gaze away.’

��There was the occasionalcultural misunderstanding – on both sides – but for the most part it waseasy to see that Thor had been raised to be a king, a diplomat.’

TRON:

‘“Who was it?” Alan asked after a moment, releasing the lockson his briefcase to pull out product mock-ups.

 “Thepolice,” he replied, almost in a daze. He'd have to skip the meeting to headdown there...’

‘He currently shared the barred space with three Users – andwhy did they use bars of metal, when force-fields offered a more complete,stronger, and transparent divider? – though there was a fourth User pressed close against one of the wallsshared with a neighboring cell.’

‘Something inside of him tried to shudder away from that toucheven though he lacked the freedom to do so, heaving against a jagged void that shouldnot be there...’

‘The unwelcome touch slid away from his few operative sensors,and he watched as the hand moved in when there shouldn't be space for itto do so, then Clu spoke again, audio output glitching with a sort of chokedsound. “I will fix this.”’

‘There was a faint hintof wonder added in Clu's tone this time, accompanied by the quiet beeps andtones of some sort of interface.’

‘“You should have seenthe display on his output, Tron, there aren't values high enough to quantifyit; I calculated for sure he was going to need a cold boot, but then he –Tron?” Ram's running commentary terminated immediately upon registering thesudden distance in the other program's usually intensely focused inputs.’

‘“Finally,” he groaned, though his visual output was smiling.“I was about to calculate the probability of her fusing into the datascape,with how little activity there's been lately.”’

‘There was little more than the queues and empty space betweenthe monitor's station and the processing junction, so Ress spent the next sixmicrocycles either idling or advancing with the Kaze before her, until shefinally passed through the doorway to Processing.’

‘There wasn't much elsehe could do now but wait, so he cycled down to save energy – different fromstandby only by categorization technicality – and evaluated the gaping hole inhis render.’

‘He's still there,” shehastened to reassure Sam as the blood drained from his face, “but when I try tocommunicate with him, or access his data, I keep getting an 'unknown error'message.”’

Young Justice:

‘The drumming grew louder, Wally was almost vibrating withexcess energy, and Dick was almost there, when –’

‘He turned away from the map to look at everyone else, handson his hips triumphantly. “There, last three minutes. Minus the glares andgravity, and in much smaller words.”’

‘There was a startlingly large amount of calculationsthat went into running at superspeed – between changes in the evenness of theground, what it was made of, the relative friction of that surface, and itsstability, without taking into account mobile and stationary obstacles muchless combat – and Wally sometimes got caught up in those calculationsinstead of trusting the relatively-new instincts of a body inclined to movethat fast.’

‘“I wasn’t going to be the first one to say anything but yeesh, yeah – when was the last time youwashed that thing?” Artemis declared, waving one hand in front of her facewhile the other pinched her nose shut, and Robin was glad he’d forgotten todrop his cape in with the rest of his laundry since his and Batman’s adventurehunting Killer Croc a few days ago, and there was apparently enough sewer-smellclinging to the fabric to catch the attention of someone looking for it.’

‘He opened his mouth to explain –

… Maybethere was something wrong with him.

– and closedit again.’

‘He needed to prove thatthere wasn't anything wrong with him, not anymore.’

‘“And it's a real possibility, but I can't let it stop me.Because there are people out there depending on me, and, well... I've got tohelp them. You understand?”

There was along moment – even by normal standards – where nothing happened, then thatfiery hair tickled his chin in a nod.’

‘Their fears were different– there was little danger of him slipping into relative time even briefly, asslow as he was – but the principles were the same.’

‘Maybe when there were others around, he could take a break,but until then... he had to help.’

And that’s all, folks.

[actutrends]

Yes, the Suns really are experimenting with Deandre Ayton and Aron Baynes

Photo by Barry Gossage/NBAE via Getty Images

Yes, the Phoenix Suns are experimenting with Deandre Ayton and Aron Baynes in the starting lineup. Is Ayton at the 4 viable or even survivable?

In the 3-point heavy, pace-and-space NBA, traditional positions of old are fading into legend. Switchability is king, seven-footers who can do more than just post up are labeled as mythical beasts like unicorns, and the league’s current knight in shining armor thrives on ball-handling, playmaking and step-backs in isolation. It’d all feel medieval if it wasn’t such a modern approach to the game.

Unfortunately, the Phoenix Suns appear to be trending back to the dark ages after starting Deandre Ayton alongside Aron Baynes against the New York Knicks Friday night. Though head coach Monty Williams cited the size and physicality of the Knicks’ front line as the reasoning behind the decision, “Ayton at the 4” has almost felt inevitable since the summer.

“We’ve been having discussions about it,” Williams said. “James [Jones] and I had a long talk yesterday. I had been thinking about it, but James kind of pushed me in the corner on the phone and started talking about DA and his ability to not just dive, but pick-and-pop, and do some things that a lot of 4s can do.”

Against a bulky, brawny frontcourt that included Marcus Morris, Taj Gibson and Julius Randle, the unconventional gamble paid off. In just his fifth game of the season, Ayton tallied 15 points, 13 rebounds, five assists and one block, while Baynes added 20 points, 12 boards and one block before fouling out.

In their 19 minutes of game time together, the Suns were a plus-9 overall, and the pivotal turning point of the game was a center-to-center connection when Baynes blocked Bobby Portis from the 3-point line and Ayton recovered the ball, tossing it down court with a Wes Unseld outlet pass that resulted in a 3-point play for Baynes.

Fighting giants with more giants paid off this time, but the first question, when such an unorthodox solution to Phoenix’s problem of slow starts arises, is whether this is the new norm. Williams wouldn’t budge either way.

“It’s not going to give you your story, but I’m going to enjoy this one and we’ll see,” he said. “But I think it’s something that we can grow, I do. It’s putting your best players out there and your best athletes on the floor, your best screeners on the floor.”

The next implied question is whether this lineup can actually work if Phoenix sticks with it.

Over the summer, general manager James Jones hinted that the Suns would consider playing Ayton at the 4 alongside Baynes, but thanks to a 25-game suspension and an ankle sprain in his first game back from that suspension, there hasn’t been much time for experimentation. Ayton played that role in college, and has been itching to return to it.

“‘About time!’ Ayton said of his reaction to learning he and Baynes would start together on Friday. “I’ve been asking them since there was a little rumor, a little tweet saying I was about the play the 4, so I’ve been wanting to play the 4, been wanting to guard out on the perimeter.

“Now it’s just … let me shoot a 3, one day….” he joked, trailing off.

Friday night, it was hard to argue the twin towers lineup worked, even after another sluggish start that saw New York score 37 first-quarter points. With Ayton diving to the rim to attract attention and Baynes launching from 3 (he only shot 2-for-8, but the threat of his shot spaced the floor), lanes opened up for Devin Booker to dissect the defense off the dribble and for Kelly Oubre Jr. to continue his recent torrid assault from 3-point range.

“It’s just really having DA back, he really opens up the floor for us, to get open shots, get an open driving lane, pass, create,” Oubre said. “It’s just getting the right shots and making the extra pass, that’s the key for us.”

Booker finished with 38 points on 14-of-27 shooting, taking only five 3-pointers as he surgically operated from the middle against single coverage. Oubre, meanwhile, was supremely efficient with his 29 points, going 11-for-16 from the floor and a blistering 5-for-7 from 3-point range, many of which were the result of good ball movement leading to kickouts for open looks.

Notice in this clip, with RJ Barrett hovering near Ayton in the painted area for just a second too long, Ricky Rubio (nine points, 10 assists) zips the ball to Oubre in the corner for the open 3. That gravity is invaluable, especially with Booker ignoring the 3-point line lately, Oubre being a mediocre long-range shooter, Dario Saric now glued to the bench and Cam Johnson’s minutes not seeing the necessary uptick to pick up the slack.

“He’s such a big presence down there, you saw when he runs and seals, that’s what we want and that’s the best look for our team,” Baynes said of Ayton. “He draws so much focus it collapses the defense. So I’m just trying to tell him to keep going down, roll, seal, I’ll work off him. That’s my job is to go out there and be in the right spacing and give him the opportunity to go to work in the post.”

Ayton’s effect on the Suns’ two primary scorers has been pretty clear this season, even in a limited sample size. In the four games he and Booker have played together, the star shooting guard is averaging 31.3 points, 7.8 assists and 3.3 rebounds per game on 51.2 percent shooting from the floor and 41.7 percent shooting from 3-point range. In five games with Oubre, the 24-year-old wing has posted 24.8 points, 5.8 rebounds and 2.6 steals per game on 57.3 percent shooting, including 57.6 percent from deep.

“I think when DA’s running the floor, that puts so much pressure on the rim,” Williams said. “It gives us a chance to space a little bit, and if we get Devin and Kelly running, then Ricky can operate or we get free as a rim run.”

Ayton’s underrated passing ability will help in pick-and-roll action as well, since the attention he receives in the short roll will also lead to wide-open 3-point shooters (he finished with five assists Friday). However, if it sounds like Ayton’s gravity makes more sense with him in a traditional, rim-running role at the 5, that’s because, well, it does.

“Coach is smart, he did it in a way where I’m a 4 on paper, but on the court I’m still a 5 in a way,” Ayton said with a laugh. “I guard the 4s and still do the 5 on offense — you know … not shooting.”

And therein lies the rub. For a guy who wants to play the 4, Ayton’s lack of a trustworthy 3-point shot will always hold him back on that front unless he’s playing next to a big who can space the floor on one end and defend centers on the other.

Ayton has taken five attempts from distance in his career so far, and he’s missed all five. Whether the shot is still a work-in-progress or it’s the coaching staff that doesn’t want him pulling the trigger just yet (as his frequent jokes about yearning to launch 3s suggest), it’s just not a shot that’s in his arsenal. His mediocre returns from anywhere outside the paint indicate it won’t be a reliable tool in his arsenal for some time.

The unfortunate truth, when asking the follow-up question of “Will this work against anyone other than the Knicks?” is that Ayton has never been the player some tried to bill him as coming out of college. He’s a finesse player trapped inside a seven-foot-one, 250-pound build. He’s a mage lurking within a dragon’s body. It’s not in his nature to bully people inside or take it personally when someone tries to steal his treasure at the rim. Though he’s a capable post-up player and attracts a lot of attention on the block, post-ups are dead; he’d rather be shooting mid-range jumpers and launching from 3. His touch is a blessing near the rim, but a potential curse to his mindset on the nights he’s not fully devoted to being a monster down low, which playing the 4 could very well enable.

“I think the league is changing to where dudes are big and strong and versatile as well, so we want to be the same thing and we want to join them,” Ayton said.

He’s technically right, but these interchangeable bigs and unicorn types that Ayton’s alluding to can also reliably shoot 3s, and they’re usually playing next to an athletic, switchable big man who can space the floor and provide weakside rim protection (which is where passing on Brandon Clarke makes this whole “Ayton at the 4” experiment even more damning).

Baynes is a terrific positional defender, but he’ll struggle as most bigs do when switched onto guards, and he’s often at a disadvantage against centers with his size and athleticism. That puts pressure on Ayton to be able to switch onto smaller, quicker perimeter players as well as protect the rim as a weakside shot-blocker.

“You know that the paint will be protected, but then in one-on-one, especially with 4s that can put the ball on the floor, it’s gonna be tougher for them and we’ve gotta help,” Ricky Rubio said.

To be fair, the big guy has been awfully impressive defensively in limited action this year, and he showed signs of that ability again Friday night, when he came from over to spank one of Julius Randle’s shots out of bounds in a rare display of emotion.

However, this is hardly a recipe for success against teams who don’t play a more traditional, non-shooting frontcourt, teams with more talented guards or teams who aren’t the New York Knicks. In 25 minutes together this season, lineups with Ayton and Baynes have been a plus-4 overall, which means that in the six minutes prior to Friday’s game, the duo was a minus-5. These samples are too small to really glean anything from, but that’s kind of the point: One game against the lowly Knicks made this tandem look far more effective than it really is.

“It’s a work-in progress, but when you look at the teams around the league that defensively get after it and rebound, some of them have two bigs, and they have a big like DA that can guard and block shots and distract shots,” Williams said. “He and Aron only had two [blocks] tonight, but I think he distracted more than that.”

Ayton has the footspeed to stick with quicker players on the perimeter, as he showed in full games guarding LeBron James and Giannis Antetokounmpo last year, but Williams also acknowledged that even though he’s capable of holding his own on an island against guards, the Suns don’t want to give him a “steady diet” on that front. Having Baynes and Ayton together on the floor presents a challenge in that respect, giving opponents two bigs to target with switches in the pick-and-roll.

Perhaps having two of the team’s best screeners to enable dribble hand-offs and free up Booker to work his mid-range magic really did open things up on offense. Perhaps Baynes (36.2 percent on 4.0 attempts per game) really does have the range to viably spread the floor for Ayton’s rim runs on offense, despite his slower release. And perhaps Ayton can grow into heightened defensive responsibilities of sticking with quicker 4s while providing weakside shot-blocking. It just requires a lot of growth on everyone’s part, and that’s saying nothing of Ayton shooting 3s.

“A bit of a change, but we wanted to start from the defensive end,” Baynes said. “Having his length and athleticism out there, you saw he changed a lot of shots, he made some big blocks down the end of the game as well so it’s fun. We can always get better, it was the first time we’ve played that way so hopefully we can get a lot better in it.”

Reading between the lines, even if Saric’s minutes plummeting to 16.3 per game over the last seven contests meant nothing, and even if the Ayton-Baynes lineup was just a matchup-based tweak, we’re going to see this confounding lineup again. More than likely though, this is a medieval experiment that won’t bode well if the Suns choose to stick with it against better opponents.

The post Yes, the Suns really are experimenting with Deandre Ayton and Aron Baynes appeared first on Actu Trends.

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You're Pregnant! Just Kidding. Here's the News You Missed This Week.

Sometimes, I wonder if the internet can be boiled down to a single sentiment: "Oops."

That was certainly the underlying theme of some major news items this week, like the one our headline alludes to -- more on that below.

After all, the digital landscape is a setting that can be described at once as a playground and a hellscape, where mistakes never really disappear (even if you quickly delete them, thanks to screen shots), contentious competition never ends, and consumers are often left wondering, "What the hell is going on? I just want a machine to read my schedule to me in the morning."

This week -- as with many others -- was a busy one in the worlds of tech and marketing. Here's what you missed.

It's a Boy! Nope, It's Just a Glitch From Amazon

If our headline freaked you out, you're not alone: a yet-to-be-determined number of Amazon customers experienced a similar sentiment this week when they mistakenly received emails regarding phantom baby registries.

Last Tuesday, several Amazon customers reported receiving an email from the online merchant reading, "Someone great recently purchased a gift from your baby registry!" And while the internet typically can't be used for a pregnancy test -- unless you count Target's 2012 public relations disaster after predicting a teen's pregnancy by tracking her shopping habits -- it still caused brief moments of panic among those who got the email.

There were some fears that the emails were a result of phishing attempts, but in the end, Amazon confirmed to TechCrunch that the emails were the result of a technical glitch, going on to send apology emails to the customers that received them. It's not clear what exactly happened or what the the glitch entailed, but let this be a lesson to marketers: triple check your email workflows.

Among the panic, Twitter had quite a bit of fun with the error:

More Trouble for Targeted Ads

Following last week's ProPublica revelation that Facebook was allowing advertisers to use anti-Semitic targeting criteria for promoted content, it was quickly discovered that Google and Twitter had similarly flawed advertising technology.

BuzzFeed was the first to discover that the Google allowed advertisers to use anti-Semitic and racially-charged search terms to target certain audiences, and soon after, the Daily Beast reported that Twitter allowed similar targeting criteria, which resulted in an audience of roughly 26.3 million users.

All three companies have since responded that they either have or are working to remove this criteria, with Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg publishing a very lengthy, formal apology on Wednesday:

And More From Facebook

Yesterday, Facebook released an official statement on its plans to hand over important documents regarding the ads it sold to Russian organizations to Congress, as well as a second one with answers to several "hard questions" on what happened to cause something like that to happen in the first place.

The gravity of that move is one that cannot be emphasized enough. As Mike Isaac writes for the New York Times:

" ... the move to work with the congressional committees underscored how far the social network has strayed from being a mere technology company and how it has increasingly had to deal with the unintended consequences of the tools it provides to reach the more than two billion people who use the site regularly."

Shortly after those posts went live, Mark Zuckerberg delivered a live address on his own Page to address the efforts it would make moving forward to "protect the integrity of the democratic process."

Some believe that this address, along with Sandberg's statement form the previous day, is the first of many efforts by Facebook to proactively dodge federal regulation by staying one step ahead of congressional actions or attempts to curb what such channels and platforms can actually do. It's even, perhaps, a defensive move, as the legality of the aforementioned ad sale remains in question.

Meanwhile, Twitter is also due to appear at a Senate Intelligence Committee briefing nxt week to further examine its own possible role in influencing the most recent U.S. presidential election.

The Uber-Alphabet Lawsuit Got Even Messier

Last week, we filled you in on the ongoing lawsuit between Uber and Alphabet, Inc company Waymo over proprietary self-driving technology. Since then, there have been a few key developments.

First, over the weekend, Alphabet requested that the trial be postponed after receiving crucial information that the court ordered Uber to turn over. Seeing that information, it seemed, made Waymo realize just how much was at stake with Uber being in possession of these materials, and needed more time to review all of the evidence supporting its case. Megan Rose Dickey of TechCrunch tweeted a key portion of its statement on the issue:

Waymo wants to postpone the trial w/ Uber. Here's Waymo's statement.

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Uber, of course, objected to that request, charging that Alphabet is trying the delay the trial -- December 5 is the proposed postponed date -- not because of surmounting evidence, but because of a lack of it. The full opposition can be found here:

That same judge also gave Uber permission to publicly disclose some of what Waymo is hoping to gain from the lawsuit: $2.6 billion for one stolen (allegedly) trade secret. But there are still eight other secrets that Waymo says to have been stolen by Uber, and no monetary figure has yet been assigned to them.

At this point, the trial is still set to begin on October 10, and recently-appointed Uber has a decision to make: whether or not he wants to settle out of court, or continue to defend the company's name in what promises to be a complex, drawn-out trial.

It's just one of many problems for Uber these days. With the release of iOS 11 this week, Uber was forced to allow users to block the app from tracking their locations.

Additionally, the BBC broke news this morning that Transport for London would not renew the ride-sharing app's private hire license, calling it "not fit and proper" to carry on operations there. Uber has 21 days to dispute that decision and can continue providing services in London until then.

Attack of the Flying Eggplants

I'll admit it -- my new favorite feature of iOS 11, the latest operating system available on the iPhone, is probably the ability to fill your iMessage recipient's screen with the next, image, or emoji of your choice. But just for the sake of due diligence, I tested it by sending this gem to one of my colleagues:

But my low bar for amusement aside, the new operating system comes with some features that are actually, you know, productive. Here are our five favorites:

Screen Recording. So, just how did I capture the magical moment above? iOS 11 has a screen record tool that saves the video in your camera roll.

Do Not Disturb While Driving. This "do not disturb" feature uses your car's bluetooth connection to turn on automatically while you're driving.

Screenshot Tools. The new iOS has a brilliantly simple new screenshot feature, which lets users draw on, crop, or highlight with ease.

GIFs in Camera Roll. The camera roll now allows users to save and view GIFs, plus the newest editing tools even enable you to turn your live photos into GIFs.

Notes App Upgrade. The notes app now features useful tools like a document scanner, and the ability to insert all kinds of formatting into your note.

And, finally -- we can't forget ARKit -- Apple's mobile augmented reality technology -- which has been a big portion of the talk of the iPhone town in the days following iOS 11's release. I tweeted about my experience with using it on Wayfair's home shopping app:

So, I don’t think this is gonna fit. #ARKit

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What's Google Up To?

A lot happened for the search giant this week, beyond its parent company's lawsuit and a significant team acquisition. First, there were some leaks around the rumored October 4th release of the Pixel 2 and Pixel XL, but they were mostly limited to the device's available colors, as per Droid Life.

That same outlet also leaked the rumored Google Home Mini, a much smaller version of the Google Home, which many are calling the company's response to the Echo Dot. And on Tuesday, a “media streaming device” -- the same language used to describe the original Google home -- with features remarkably similar to the first Google Home was submitted to the FCC. These developments all align with the timeline leading up to the October 4th press event.

In non-Pixel or Home news, Google announced four new features this week:

The Google app on iOS will now have a suggested content feature, in which users are provided with visual links to more information on what they're reading about.Source: Google

Contact information like phone numbers, addresses, and email addresses will now -- finally -- be automatically converted into hyperlinks on Gmail. Official announcement here.Source: Google

Natural language processing has been added to Cloud Search -- a search tool within G Suite -- to help users more quickly find information based on the words that Google deemed to be the most frequently used among G Suite customers: "what," "who," "how" or "when." For example, if you remember which one of your colleagues sent you a shared document, but can't remember what it was called, now you can search for it with a query like, "Docs shared by Karla."Source: Google

Read receipts are coming to Gmail -- kind of. On Wednesday, Google announced the launch of Email Log Search, which allows G Suite users to track the status of sent emails, such as where it is (e.g., the trash), or if it's been opened.Source: Google

Actually, No, Equifax Still Isn't Handling This Data Breach Well

Remember all of those marketing takeaways from the Equifax hack that we outlined last week? Well, it turns out that Equifax hasn't exactly heeded that advice -- or that of too many others, it seems. In fact, it was revealed earlier this week that the company's customer service agents on Twitter were directing customers to a fake website that, visually, was nearly identical to the site Equifax set up for users to enroll in free credit marketing.

The clone site was created by by software engineer Nick Sweeting, whose intentions weren't malicious, but rather, were to show how poorly Equifax was monitoring and managing the situation.

Not only did they tweet the wrong link, they tweeted it 3 times. #Equihax

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Sweeting was quite transparent about that in creating the site, which has since been taken down, along with any tweets directing customers to it -- it was titled, "Cybersecurity Incident & Important Consumer Information Which is Totally Fake, Why Did Equifax Use A Domain That’s So Easily Impersonated By Phishing Sites?”

The "fake" site did not collect any personal information, but Sweeting pointed out how easily it would be for other hackers to create an equally identical site that did using the Linux command "wget" -- and he blamed that on Equifax's choice to establish an entirely new domain, rather than create an equifax.com subdomain.

"wget" essentially permits anyone -- yes, anyone at all -- "to just suck their whole site down with wget and throw it on a ... server,” Sweeting explained in an email to the New York Times. His version, he said, had "the same type of SSL certificate as the real version, so from a trust perspective, there’s no way for users to authenticate the real one vs. my server.”

Creating a subdomain should have been the obvious move for Equifax, Carnegie Mellon IS Professor Rahul Telang told the outlet, "so that if somebody tries to fake it, it becomes immediately obvious.”

This development comes amid news that Equifax actually suffered more than one hack this year. In addition to the headline-making breach in July, the company experienced an earlier one in March, creating even more confusion around the decision to wait until September to alert customers, as well as the massive August stock sale by its executives.

Odds and Ends

I Don't Want to Grow up, Because That Means I Have to File for Chapter 11

For anyone who grew up begging their parents to take them to the toy store, this week came with some sad news: Toy store chain Toys ‘R’ Us filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection this week. Many were quick to blame its demise on Amazon, which has been named the culprit for the financial woes of many other brick-and-mortar retailers, but in reality, the cause may have reached far beyond that. As Recode reports, the move is largely the result of a "cocktail" of limited product selection, a lack of competitive pricing, and piling debt after several 2005 buyouts.

For the sake of our own childhood memories, we hope Toys 'R' Us is able to turn things around.

The DHS Got Served ... By an Association of VCs

Allow us to introduce you to the International Entrepreneur Rule: a federal measure that, had it passed in July 2017 as planned, would have made it easier for foreign entrepreneurs to obtain visas for the purpose of founding startups in the U.S.

However, the same month it was slated to be effective, the current presidential administration delayed it until March 2018, with many believing that it will only go on to be completely dismantled. But this week, Axios reports, the National Venture Capital Association (NVCA) has brought forth a lawsuit against the Department of Homeland Security, on the grounds that the decision to delay the enforcement of the rule violates the Administrative Procedure Act -- which says that the department must first "solicit public comment."

The formal complaint can be downloaded here.

No Empty Nest Here

Nest, which was acquired by Google back in 2013, held its first major press event this week, where it unveiled a number of new products. Among them were the Nest Cam IQ -- this writer's personal favorite unveiling from the launch -- an outdoor security camera that can detect movement and differentiate whether it's coming from a person or an object. If it's a person, the system alerts you, as well as letting you know if it senses a barking dog or a talking person. Even better: it's equipped with facial recognition, so that if someone familiar comes into the camera's range, like your regular dog walker, the system will recognize that it's likely not an intruder.

Also announced was the Nest Hello video doorbell, which uses similar camera technology to the above to alert users if a person is within range, even if they don't ring. Finally, an overall comprehensive security system was unveiled called Nest Secure, which exists of three key components: Nest Guard, where the system is armed and disarmed with the second component, Nest Tag, which is similar to a key fob and can be used to turn off the alarm system. The first piece is Nest Detect, which can sense general motion and the opening or closing of windows or doors.

Check out the video summary here:

That's all for this week! Next week, we're off to INBOUND 2017: one of the world's largest and most remarkable marketing and sales industry events. We'll be back with our regular news coverage the first week in October.

Until then -- happy autumn.

Originally published September 22 2017, updated September 23 2017