#because im hypersensitive to it after the shit ive been through
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i actually do feel like ive been doing slightly better at this lately though.. like replying to peoples posts and trying to initiate conversations and dms and stuff... so i am winning a bit
#🎇#and i mean. i actually do know how to socialise. i am fine at it#i just experience the horrors constantly & dont like to burden people with my existence when its unwanted & say things uninvited & etc#i do want more people in my life im comfortable with so i dont feel these things talking to people all the time but man#ig it's hard because i don't blame people for not being that interested in talking to me when i don't make it easy to talk to me#and i struggle so much with like. when i bring up a topic and they dont really show interest & im like o. ok. and then i just never want to#bring up anything because it keeps happening and it's easier to just talk about things they like#but then that makes me boring and hard to talk to because i dont offer anything to the conversation but its because i feel like my existenc#is pointless to the conversations we have because nothing i say going to get a response so we may as well just talk about what u want#idk. i know its a personal problem of mine and i should be fine just saying whatever i want etc and i might be misinterpreting the signs#because im hypersensitive to it after the shit ive been through#but its something im conscious of at least and i do try to continue to bring things up and offer things to talk about and stuff anyway#ive been trying to do it more lately. and starting conversations even if i feel unwanted because i know its likely just me being#overly sensitive . and continuing to reply to peoples post even if they never reply because im probably oversensitive about that too. etc#i want to make friends arg
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people on here will literally have urls and stan other people whos whole shtick is dark themes in fiction and then shit on dark themes in fiction and go as far as to say such media should be banned like youre such babies lol. the incest boogeyman isnt going to get you but conservatives just might. im so sick of you genuinely all you do is bitch and moan about a little unhealthiness and scream and cry like how does this affect you in any way. and youll say "raghhh dont sexualize my trauma" when your only trauma is shit every 14 year old and their mother has been through like get a fucking grip ive been beaten raped ect far worse than any antishit complaining about fictional tropes and many of my compatriots especially have been through worse than me so of course you would dedicate all of your time to chasing after problems you made tf up in your own underdeveloped brains to distract everyone else from self reflecting for 1 millisecond and realizing youre all victim complex babies grossly overstating their own experiences so you can be coddled and hugboxed while you shit on actual victims because theyre not being traumatized correctly. and its so fucking embarassing. youre so fucking scared of being outed as hypersensitive fraudlent victimlets that you will leap at any distraction to keep the brainlets on tumblr and twitter from figuring out that youre not as traumatized as you want to be. and you want to be traumatized because you dont have an interesting bone in your body and you think thatll save you. youre a psuedointellectual and a creative eunich and you cannot even be slightly worth anything to save your life. and thats why youre going to drop tf out of film school and die homeless and begging for scraps on the internet because youre a queer disabled mxnority and your daddy made you put glass in your vagina. Retard.
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