#because ocd is a disorder that’s watered down to being neat and organized

[roseofcards90]

I genuinely think I’m going insane

[insolitus-academy]

♚ // Face Claim

Full name Face Claim: Kang Jihyun (Soyou)

Group/Band/Occupation: Soloist; Former member of SISTAR

Nationality: South Korean

Faceclaim age: 28 years old

♚ // Character; Basic information

Quote: “To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering.” -Friedrich Nietzsche

Full name character: Kang Jihyun

Nickname: Soyou

Realm of birth (if earth, nationality): Earth, South Korea

Age: 46 years old (Bitten at 23 years old)

Date of Birth: February 12, 1974

Gender: Cis Female

Preferred Pronouns: She/Her

Race: Vampire

Sexual Orientation: Pansexual

What languages does your character speak?: Korean, English, Russian, and German

What is the level of Korean and how did they learn to speak it (For non-Korean characters from other realms & other earth-countries): Soyou was born and raised in Jeju, South Korea, which is why she can speak Korean fluently.

♚ // Character; Appearance

Skin Color: Extremely pale

Eye color: Blood Red

Scars: Bite mark on her neck

Piercings:

Three lobe piercings

An industrial piercing on her right ear

A helix and tragus piercing on her left ear

Tattoos: None

Hair color: Dark brown; Almost black

Abnormalities: None

Horns/ wings/ etc.: Retractable fangs and nails

Transformed form: Soyou’s fangs and nails are retractable, which means that she can show them at will. However, when she feeds, both her fangs and nails automatically elongate.

♚ // Character; Personality

Six personality traits:

Independent

Observant

Hardworking

Charming

Extremely Loyal

Impatient

Likes: Reading, Walking Around at Night, Philosophy, Music, and Swimming

Dislikes: Dull Conversations, Inorganization, A Sluggish Pace, Heat, and Heights

Manias: Soyou has the tendency to want to keep everything neat and organized. The only problem is that her definition of “neat and organized” is: even numbers, symmetrical shapes, clutter-free spaces, and items following the alphabetical order. She’s never been diagnosed with OCD, so she prefers not to use the term. In the nearby future however, she plans to see a specialist so whether she has this mental disorder.

Phobias: She is afraid of falling. After biting her, Soyou’s sire threw her body off a cliff. And although she could barely feel anything aside from the pain emanating from her neck, the sensation of free falling as well as rocks hitting her body as she eventually rolled down the rocky mountain stuck with her. Although she can disguise her fear as nonchalance, Soyou has a hard time whenever she’s up at high places. She’s also even more affected when she has to go up mountains.

Animal: A Fox

Religion: No

Favorite song:

It’s Only My World – Jeon Inkwon and Lee Hi

YouTube Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fkms7YfOauk

Vice: Greed

Virtue: Diligence

Personality description:

Being the eldest daughter of farmers, Soyou was very familiar with the concept of hard work. She was raised with the belief that if she wanted something, she shouldn’t just ask for it. Instead, she should work hard to get it.

Ever since she was younger, Soyou had always been quiet. People often misjudged her for being cold and distant because her default expression was somewhat of a glare. In reality, Soyou was just painfully awkward and shy.

However, when you get to know her, you can expect that she will care for you (to the point of being a mother hen) and laugh at the smallest or silliest things.

♚ // Character; Powers

Magical Powers: N/A

Non-magical Powers:

Increased strength

Increased speed

Minor manipulative powers

Minor elemental power: Water

Swimming

Singing

Weaknesses:

Soyou’s want for success often gives her tunnel vision. As an effect, she can be quite shortsighted at times, since she often misses the bigger picture. Her impatience also leads her to various difficult situations a lot of the time. Paired with a sharp tongue, Soyou’s short temper causes various heated arguments with different people. Lastly, as a vampire that was only turned 20 years ago, Soyou is weak against fire and can barely control her blood lust. She’s actively working on the latter to ensure that the people around her are safe from her.

♚ // Character; The Student

Study Style: Soyou is an overachiever through and through. She takes her academics very seriously and strives to top all her classes. She usually studies alone, since she finds it hard to concentrate when there’s chatter around her. Despite this, Soyou isn’t opposed to group study sessions so long as the people she studies with are quiet and only talk when needed.

For required group projects, she usually sits back and follows when someone takes the lead. In cases where her groupmates don’t, however, Soyou usually takes the reigns and acts as leader.

Favorite class: Swimming & Diving

Least favorite class: Ancient Runes

Classes (5-8):

Finance

Economics

Marketing

Manipulation

Archery

Ancient Runes

Alchemy

Swimming & Diving

♚ // Character; The Past

Date of Birth: February 12, 1974

Date of Death: December 26, 1997

Crime Record: N/A

Has your character attended Insolitus Academy in the past? No

Background:

Soyou was the eldest daughter of her family. Her mother and father both worked at their field, and they had a simple yet fulfilling life. She had three other siblings (one sister and two brothers) who she loved and spoiled whenever she could. Despite various of her peers wanting to move to Seoul, Soyou never felt the need or want to move to the capital of South Korea. She simply adored the peacefulness and simplicity that her hometown offered.

This all changed in 1997, on the evening after Christmas.

Just as it was every year, it was a cold winter and Soyou was bundled up as she trekked up one of the mountains near their home. There was a small, roofed pergola that she always visited during the colder parts of the year. It looked over the rest of Jeju Island, and the sight of the wide, night sky that was draped over fields and small houses never failed to comfort her.

She had her knees to her chest and was cradling her thermos of hot tea when she heard someone walking behind her. Turning her head, she was greeted with a smile by her sire. (But of course, she didn’t know that then.) Assuming they were a tourist, Soyou smiled back at them. Living in Jeju meant that she often saw or met people who visited the island for a few days, after all.

She barely had time to process what happened. Suddenly, all Soyou knew was that her thick jacket and top were suddenly ripped from her body. Pain emanated from her neck, and a passing thought was that her sire’s arms that gently cradled her head so that they could have an easier time biting into her skin was a stark contrast to the agony she was in. Minutes suddenly felt like hours as Soyou felt her life literally being drained out of her.

Her sire threw her body over the cliff after they drank her blood, and until now, Soyou never found out why they didn’t just kill her instead of turning her into a vampire. Eventually, Soyou came to with a burning in her throat. With a speed she didn’t know she was capable of; she ran to the nearest house and followed her instincts. After having her fill, Soyou was finally able to see out of the haze she was in and was horrified to realize that she had just killed her own family.

Soyou knew that she would be blamed by the authorities if she was ever found, so she decided to set their home on fire so that people could think that all of them died. It was only dawning on her what she had become when she decided that she had to leave Jeju Island to avoid being found. Not trusting herself, Soyou decided to swim to the mainland instead of riding a ferry to avoid further harming anyone.

Soyou eventually reached land and slowly established her new life there. In the first few years, she learned to only target people who were “bad.” This included rapists, thieves, murderers, and other deviants. When she was finally able to get a better handle on her blood lust, Soyou started working odd jobs to support herself financially. Eventually, she was able to get in touch with someone who could produce her identification cards so that she could work for larger-paying jobs. When Soyou heard of Insolitus Academy, an institution that offer its students education and shelter, she didn’t hesitate to apply and become a student. After all, she never finished studying college in Jeju Island all those years ago.

♚ // Roleplayer

Time zone: (GMT+8)

OOC! Triggers: N/A

Themes/genres you like writing the most?: Angst and Fluff! I’m honestly open to anything so long as it’ll help my character grow more.

[clowncroccharms]

Did I take my meds today? 1 2 1 2 1 2 No you can't count to two you're an only child you have to count to 1 or they'll be consequences what why would there be consequences it doesn't matter there just will be so fix it fix it fix it 1 1 1 1 1 No you can't count to one because there's more than one person in you're family if you count to one then they'll all die because you only counted yourself and that means that you're the only one so you can't count to 1 can't can't can't can't bad things will happen and you can't count to 1 1 2 3 1 2 3 1 2 3 But what about the pets you have to count the pets to because of you don't oh consequences bad thing bad things will happen so count the pets to why am I counting in the first place it doesn't matter count count count 1 2 3 4 5 Better better but wait no you tapped the table you tapped the table with your left hand and you can't tap the table with your left hand because the left is bad why is the left bad I don't know it's bad and now everything isn't equal and there will be consequences so fix it fix it fix it Now you've tapped your right hand too hard and it's still not equal and you tapped it with your pinky the pinky is bad if you tap with the pinky then there will be consequences bad things will happen very bad things will happen so fix it fix it now fix it fix it fix it 5 taps on the left hand pointer finger no other finger can touch Now the same for the right the same the same the same the same the same 5 only five always five because everything else is bad bad bad there will be consequences You can carry that Harry Potter bag it has the blind dragon on it and if you carry that bag you'll go blind too why I don't know you just will it will happen Open the door left hand pointer finger on top middle finger on bottom let go of the handle before it comes back up and close the door with your right hand the same way it has to be equal equal equal equal The shirt collar is too tight I'm choking I'm choking I'm choking but the collar is loose but it's so tight pull it pull it pull it now you tore it good job and your bra straps are in even and it hurts it hurts you think it hurts but it doesn't but it hurts so fix it fix it fix it now or bad things will happen My shoulder hurts on the left and I can't stop it from hurting I can't make it equal unless I make the right hurt too and if it's not equal there are consequences consequences consequences consequences consequences Fix it fix it fix it There's something on this seat so wipe it down there's nothing there but do it again to make sure again again again again again Now sit but what wipe it again to make sure and then sit down but your pants feel crooked and you have to fix them stand up fix them they weren't crooked to start with now wipe the seat again and again and again and again Go to sleep It's 3 in the afternoon It doesn't matter go to sleep Sleep means no thinking No thinking Did I take my meds today? - Welcome to my mind. Every day this is what happens, it never fails. I'm not posting this for pity or for you to feel sorry. I'm posting this to bring awareness. I have OCD. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Let me tell you, I do not organize or color code, I don't care when something is unever or crooked. That's the human appeal for aesthetic pleasure. It is not OCD. OCD is repetitive, irrational, obsessive thoughts that lead to drastic and sometimes harmful compulsions that make it a disorder. My brain will not be quiet, and if never will be. I need you all to know the truth of OCD. It has led me to severe anxiety and depression. I need you to know that it is not color coding, or organizing, or keeping things neat. It is my brain screaming a thousand different irrationalities at me all at once and never stop until I act on these thoughts. It is like being held right below the surface of water and the only way to get even a sip of air is if you spend hours chipping away at your sanity. So please, the next time you hear someone say that they're "soooo OCD" because they like to organize. Stop them. OCD has become a disorder dressed up and pretty for public use to be tossed around and make someone cutesy. This disorder is not cutesy. This disorder is hours spent lying in bed and begging for a moment of silence from your head. It's crying in the floor because you're so tired and exhausted but there is no way to get out of your own mind. It's obsession after obsession forcing you to act even when you don't want. Don't normalize the pampering of this disorder.