#been in love with this man for more than ten years ok? im entitled

[gellertalbus]

Jamie Campbell Bower as Henry Creel in Stranger Things 4x06

[jimlingss]

pt.2 of yesterday

I don’t want to flood people’s dashes, so hopefully answering your messages here will suffice!

anonymous asked: Hi! I wanted to tell you how much I love your work and how you make me enjoy every Monday thanks to your regular updates ! I saw a previous anon telling you how your writings lacks of emotion and I totally disagree with them... obviously everybody won’t like it but your stories just DON’T lack of love or emotion this is madness I want to thank you for publishing your amazing stories freely here for everyone to read. (Sorry if my English is weird I’m french ejfjekfjd)

“this is madness” LOL

You’re hilarious, anon. And your english is perfectly fine!!!

anonymous asked: Hello! Im the culinary student anon who sent you an ask a while ago and i saw you received an ask about the lack of emotion from your stories. I read kitchen romance and i actually really really like it and don’t quite understand how it lacks in emotions as I interpreted the stories more like the beginning of the oc and jin’s love story and they are only starting to open up to each other so i guess thats why anon might feel like it lacks romantic vibe from both of the characters. (1)

Anonymous said: Just want to tell you that you’re one of the best writer and ive been following you for 2/3 years now, you never failed to amaze me with your writings!! All your stories are so well written that i sometimes wonder how do you come up with such an amazing plot every single time and your stories are always nice to re-read and the effort you pour into creating your stories is also admirable (2)

while i was reading kitchen romance and ive only started s&c (currently on chapter 4) i can say that its pretty similar with how it is irl (and the part where we find out jk is an iu fans reminded me of my ex-crush whose also a culinary student, i would like to tell you a story about it but ill just waste your time lol) , just want to send you a few encouragement and love for you and your writings *sending virtual hugs* (3) -👩🏻‍🍳anon

You’re too kind, thank you (and also, welcome back!). I’ll be frank, there was a hot second I was considering taking down Kitchen Romance but I didn’t cause I don’t want my efforts of editing it to go to waste asdfghjkl. I can’t believe you’ve been sticking around me for so long :’) it’s always nice to know some folks stay. Anyway, I’m glad that Sugar and Coffee is pretty similar to how it works irl since I tried my best to do research. I definitely love a good storytime as well so don’t worry about wasting my time :>

Anonymous said: a good majority of your fics display an unfathomable amount of DEPTH. regarding character development. plot. even the shortest lines of dialogue reveal so much more to the character and unveil their true emotions. i personally think the more REALISTIC side of love may be perceived as 'bland.' ‘emotionless.’ whatever you want to call it. nothing’s wrong with portraying a relationship that isn’t overboard with a whole lot of tooth aching fluff or lowkey annoying pda. +1

Anonymous said: there’s nothing wrong with taking out a bit of emotion to fit the PERSONALITIES of the characters. some people out there don’t necessarily feel a lot of emotions. so it’s honestly not really a mistake if a story lacks it (unless it was unintentional). subtlety is an art that is hard to master, but you’ve done it! and to respond to the anon, sometimes, if you skim through a fic without reading every word the author intended for you to read, +2

Anonymous said: then it’s quite common to not feel the full extent of the emotions you were supposed to feel. just a thought but no hate. we’re all entitled to our opinions. but besides that, kina, you write on a vast scale ranging from hardcore angst to diabetes-inducing fluff. and you do it beautifully. sure there are some stories that are better than others, but i believe a LOT of it comes down to personal preference and taste. +3

Anonymous said: even if you are feeling creatively limited, you work hard to continue writing for your readers, and your determination and diligence wILL NOT GO UNNOTICED. i just want you to know that you write amazingly. your syntax is practically immaculate, your characters feel real… the endings of your stories always wrap something up and the strings are tied—even if it isn’t necessarily a happy ending. you can convey hundreds of different characters through WORDS. +4

Anonymous said: i’ll have you know that it’s hard to write. it’s even harder to write about people who aren’t YOU. so as someone who looks up to you a lot, i want to commend you for your writing. some of your fics that i read on a monthly basis: tears of a villain, a piece of the moonlight, head over heels to hell, ghost in the machine, a mark of betrayal, a kiss of poison, until yesterday, the truth between us and arcadia. +5

Anonymous said: to be fair, there were way more fics but i didn’t want to make this message any longer than it already is LOL. i find these pieces wonderful. heart wrenching. and SO DAMN EMOTIONAL IT PLAGUES MY MIND FOR DAYS. also you’re literally one of the few fucking people who can use the em dash correctly. thank you so much for sharing your talent with us! +6

Oh my goodness. I don’t even know what to say, anon. This is a whole damn thesis and it’s about my fics :’> You know, it’s easy to brush off fanfiction as a ‘whatever’ thing and indeed, it isn’t that big of a deal compared to some things in the world. But I really do take all my stories seriously and put forth a lot of effort - so to see it recognized and appreciated it makes me beyond happy. It’s good to know that my efforts haven’t gone to waste at all and that there are people out there who will support me no matter the endeavours I take. Thank you so much. You don’t know how much this means to me.

((Also, honestly I picked up the em dash usage after I wrote The Truth Between Us with gukyi who used it. I’m pretty sure I’m not using it right but to hear that I am, god damn that’s a breath of relief right there))

backtobleuside submitted: Are you kidding me!? Your stories don’t lack love at all. They’re the kind of fics that you read, soak it all in and then come back for more. I’ve cried so much when I read Beyond reach, Boo-lieve in me, A piece of the moonlight, His name, Tell me lies etc. etc, and also laughed and felt the emotions of not just the OC, but also the other characters. Kitchen Romance was also so fluffy and sweet and personally, I don’t think that anything needs to be added to it. Anyway, your fics do not lack emotion—you’re probably the first author I send a message to because your stories impacted me a lot and left a strong impression on me. I even imagine your characters as real people who have real lives that continue on even after the story is done.

asdfghjkl thank you :’) I see you every week and sometimes several times at that. I really appreciate your consistent feedback and following. You never fail to send me a message too which I appreciate a lot. I’m glad you’re enjoying everything I’m producing!!

youngfleurever said: Would just like to say that your fics do in fact make me violently sob to the boy where my eyes are so swollen I have trouble opening them the next day and I wake up feeling like there’s sawdust in my mouth because I’m dehydrated.

oh my god. please keep yourself hydrated hahahahhaha more importantly, how do you know what sawdust in your mouth is like. WHAT have you been doing LOL

Anonymous said: I’ve felt emotions that I’ve never felt before when I read your fics.... so as a person that has read your entire masterlist, I DO NOT think that your fics lack emotion.... I hope you don’t feel disheartened because you’re one of my favourite writers, not just on tumblr but like, evER 💓💓💓💓💓💓

Please, even if I was disheartened, the overwhelming amount of feedback and praise has completely overridden it :’)

joonie-mono said: when tumblr deletes the first part of your ask 🙄😌✌️

LOOOOOOOL

haylo4ever said: Sorry had to add my 10 cents. You're such a talented writer,,, I WISH I could write a smol smol 1/1000000000 that you write,,, like I remember when I followed you bc I was in awe of your writing.... I mean?? Sure maybe not every fic hits it with someone but it's just ridic to name drop (a friend nonetheless) when you're all extremely talented writers.

Trust me, writing comes with practice!! I should honestly just tattoo that on me. God knows my first fanfic was absolutely GARBAGE. I didn’t know pacing, didn’t know that I should separate chunks of paragraphs, how to write dialogue or describe scenes properly. I went in blind. Even my second, third and fourth fanfic was garbage. You could definitely get to “my level” or even far surpass it with enough dedication and practice. I mean I’ve been writing for four years, so thank GOD there’s been improvement. I wouldn’t be natural if there wasn’t. But clearly the more you practice, the better you improve! That applies to anything.

The me in ten years will certainly be better now.

Anonymous said: Hi kina! I’m here in support of kitchen romance! I actually didn’t feel like it was missing a ton of fluffy moments (and I say that as a huGE LOVER OF FLUFF) but the story was just as entertaining in the whole chase of them getting closer to each other! It’s honestly one of my favorite one shots I’ve read lately and I’m not saying that lightly! Also, that anon that said your work lacks emotion has probably not read like half of your masterlist bc oO MAN QUEEN OF MAKING ME CRY- black heart anon🖤

Thank you :’]

Anonymous said: Ok I’m very offended wow the audacity!Specially coming for my baby kitchen romance like that story made me feel so much and it’s only one of the many fics you have written kina like I’m literally baffled like dynasty has made me cry scream happy and hot all at the same time and I was literally just thinking about it that whole weekend and this anon has the nerve to say your stories lack emotions?When you are literally the queen of show casing all types of emotions in your stories!You did it all

Anonymous said: Also 😭😭😭😂😂😩hoooooooow and whereeee did they see any lack of love and emotions like have you read jungle park???? Inside my mind??? FREAKING SUGAR AND COFFEE (like this fic is made with love and I- ) Actually you know what , just read the whole masterlist😩😩💗💗💗

LOL tbh I didn’t expect Dynasty to receive the love it has. I was actually kind of wary when posting it cause it’s kind of Wild. 

bangtans-peaceful-piegon said: just gotta say u handled that whole anon thing so well which not only makes me admire u as a writer but even more as a person :] (i mean i knew u were gr8 before the whole deal but yeah love ya 💛)

tbh, I’m not sure how well I handled it cause I was flooded with over 30 messages afterwards (evidently) ;_; which I love and appreciate but I’m not really as hurt as some people think hahaha criticism should be received well but it’s still hard not to take personally tbh. It’s gonna have to be something I work on or perhaps it’ll be one of those things that I’ll take better with age.

[survivor-iceland]

Ep. 1 - “How does one socialize again?” - Dylan C

Maynor

The game has finally started. Let’s see how i do in my last game before I take a long break from playing.

Sierra

As soon as the cast was revealed, it was so exciting! I started looking around, and I really feel like I have a strong tribe. I can't wait to get to know people, hear how they think about the game... and I also hope that I'm able to build some strong bonds, too! My greatest fear in this game is probably getting voted out first. So as long as it isn't me...

Zoe Malzone

Before the challenge I was added into an alliance group with sierra, cormac, and john later entitled "oh, worm?" i also spoke a bit to stephen who congratulated me on not being silent and still being a newbie. I volunteered for the bamboo chopping challenge and got too sweaty and the cup slipped off my finger at eight minutes. However, I did make a little bond with the people I participated with, and the host *didn't* say we could potentially make an alliance with each other, which I then hinted at. Nobody said anything about it, but it's not... not a possibility.

Raffy

Alright, let's get into it. I am getting good vibes from Joseph right off the bat. I feel like him and I are going to get along swimmingly throughout the competition. I think Ellie believes that we have an alliance straight off that bat, but I won't forget how she tried to snake me out. So, I will be cautious of her at best. Other than that, Dylan C. is pretty cool and I am excited to play with them again which is wild. That's like back to my ORG origins right there. I think our tribe is going to kill the challenge, but I had to give up what I wanted to do because someone can't read apparently. But, c'est la vie. I'll try my best with winterbells but I cannot guarantee I'll do well

Keith John

Well I joined the group later, wasnt able to chat due to the time difference. No one approached me with a private chat except for cormac, So atleast I know one person made the effort.

I spoke to Stephen, since we were teamed up for the same portion of the challenge. seemed like I would have connected with him. But I dont know why, he doesnt seem very chatty with me. Since he is the only other one with a big time difference, Im hoping he aint gona use that to try and make me boot number one. 

I am gona try and see if I can touch base with jack, he was nice and accommodating towards me for the challenge. Hopefully il be able to connect with him

John

Ok, so i think i made an alliance last night? I figured having an alliance of at least half the tribe would be a safe move. I’m honestly fearful it’s just gonna blow up in my face somehow but that’s just the anxiety talking hahahaha. TimmyMy arms hurt!! That challenge was a lot, but I’m shocked I lasted for 2 hours. I knew I couldn’t beat Maynor because he’s amazing at endurance comps. I know I’m good at them but i am able to recognize when someone is better than me at something. During the challenge Zoe proposed a cross tribal alliance between me, her, Dylan C, and Maynor and honestly I’m here for it.

Obviously I’m going to work with Maynor, so being able to be in an alliance with him that i didn’t have to make is so convenient. Today I’ll spend time talking to people and making connections, but I hope for now I showed that I can be helpful in challenges even though I didn’t win.

Kieran

Right now, I'm a little worried. I didn't get a chance to make the same first impressions and relationships like everyone else did, so I need to play catch-up.

Kieran

When speaking to Raffy, immediately this person is not someone I think I can trust. I just have a gut feeling about it. 

Raffy

I spent my morning playing Winterbells which is not the most fun experience. However, I do feel confident that I'll carry this for the tribe! Besides that, I've reached out to Keith and Sierra from the other tribe. Keith sort of gives me weird vibes and he isn't the most entertaining to talk to. I have to manage somehow though. Luckily, I'm not on his tribe for the time being. Sierra seems really sweet. I want to see if I can work with her since she also seems nice and active. Those are good ally traits. Also Kieran messaged me today. And his second message to me was asking me if any alliances were made yet. I mean wig. But don't be a crackhead! It's only day 2 with no tribe calls. That's kind of crackhead behavior. I'm obsessed, but I do hope that means that he doesn't shoot himself in the foot. I'll keep my distance for the time being

Raffy

Keith is telling me that people on his tribe are not messaging him which is not a good sign. So, I don't want him as an ally if he's already going to be the social pariah of his tribe

Raffy

And now Keith just told me that he wants to isntantly work together come a merge or swap. It's day 2!!!!! I don't know you!!!!

Kieran

I've been assigned the task of making a cross-alliance with someone from my tribe and two people from the other tribe. I could not be feeling more #blessed right now, because something like this is right up my alley!

Raffy

According to Ellie, she got herself in a 4 person cross tribal alliance with Cormac, Sierra, and Joseph. My threat alert is already on high. An alliance that I'm not a part of is an alliance that is a threat. She says that it was Cormac's idea and that he is being "overly strategic." I'm instantly getting bad vibes from him. He has got to go before he can cause any more damage. My connection with Ellie is already proving fruitful. I hope I can harvest at some point

Raffy

I finally did it. I've messaged everyone in this game. I blame Jay that I have to talk to all these people. It's too much for my small brain. I do not get good vibes from Cormac at all. I think he's a threat to my game for sure. Hopefully, the other tribe sees his bad vibes and take him out. Otherwise, I'll have to do it myself

Dylan C

How does one socialize again? I keep starting a lot of convos with the standard "Hi! How are you?" because I don't want to come off too strong. But on the flip side, I don't want to seem like I'm boring and can't hold a conversation, either. Video confessional with more to come soon.

Dylan C

https://youtu.be/MeQwz9yEPuM

Sierra

I'm feeling pretty good about where I am in the game right now. I have a few different alliances, which puts me in a pretty good spot in terms of navigating the game at this point in time. I feel closest right now to John and Cormac -- both of whom are in two of my alliances and both of whom have approached me for a final two. I've taken a page from Rob Cesternino and Stephen Fishbach's book and said yes to anyone who approaches me with an alliance. However, right now I'm definitely sticking with my first one over anyone else -- Cormac, Zoe, John and myself. We added Keith as a fifth to have a majority, too... but the four is where it's at for me!

Dylan C

me: I'm just being pessimistic but we're probably going to tribal us: [lost the challenge]

I love jinxing shit

Cormac Marek

My frail body shivers in utter delight. A romance brews between the tips of my eyebrows. Who goes into the strange night without protection? Only the few with their shields split between the castor iron. I crackle through the frozen tundra on my broom stick. Powers have ceased to scoot me over the ground. This is not a real broom stick. Yet I run with the branch between my thighs through the snow, cackling like a wild beast. A foot I go. Smoke wanders through the dried leaves above my glowing head. Moonlight reflects upon my smooth skin like a shining river stone. Joyous delight I cannot barely contain! I peek my eyes through the thick of the trees to see the shadowy outlines of Maynor and Stephen. I recognize them by their ignorance. Most say bliss can be found in this state of delusion but I chose a different path. Not one of foolish misdeeds, careless endeavors. My wet tongue grazes my lips in anticipation. Watching them like an owl to a mouse. Snow has turned black beneath my toe nails. Is this a sign from the Gods above? Those retched beings who guide me? Yes, must be. My eyes widen. They must be struck down like sandpaper to wood. Dice are in my pocket. I am ready to roll my numbers. Two fours roll out into the snow pile. I do not know these numbers. Unfamiliar to my mind. My third eye quivers. Oh! I will take the risk even if the dice deceive me. These two figures will be the next to go. Drug limp through the snow as I whack them and go. 

Cormac Marek (code 23)

I am stranded in Iceland marooned on a tundra. This bloody tribe has only built a flimsy shack in the past twenty-four hours. Utter blasphemy. They should all have letters sown into their clothes for this offence. I need comfort. Howling winds ripen my cheeks right up like a banana placed atop a raw lime. Tears roll down my rigid face at the thought of sleeping another night out here. Last moon cycle I huddled up next to Zoe and Jonathan. Our body heat kept us warm. Sierra was wonderful to listen to as the stars shone above. Telling jokes, laughing at our very human humor together as a group. All except Jack. That man of firm muscles. He has been off outside the shack in the middle of the night humming like a mad man. Ridiculous behavior unfit for the royalty that lied within the shack’s walls heaped up like a pile of ash. His mouth uttering obscene things. Jack often rambles about the craziest affairs. How his mother was born in Russia. Her heritage in Romania. How his cousin once cut a piece of his ankle off in a mud fight. Jack was insane. Zoe and I often spoke of this in the shack. Ah! Too simpleton of a name. Shack. Makes me want to puke. I stood in the center of the shelter, spun around ten times in a row, shouted for joyous applause and then sat back down. They all watched me as I deliberated the name of the shack. “It shall be heard on this wicked day of the 16th calendar year that this shack in which we sit in shall be hereby dubbed, ‘Cranklins Buzzom.’ Oh yes! How they all whooped, cheered and hollered. John gave me a necklace made out of rabbit bones for the courage it took me to come up with a name. Zoe threw dead leaves on my bald head to make the occasion sweet like candy. I danced in the middle while we all touched fingers together. We spent the next hour swaying back and forth. Moving our bodies like the dandelions in spring. All but Jack. Wild men do wild things to their own wild needs. He was out once more humming to himself. I could see him through the glorious arms of my tribemates. “Mm Vonderful Everyone!” My voice was cracked now from rampant speeches, shouting on till sunrise about squash soup and the what it means to die. Where do we go when we wake up? What do dreams mean? Zoe has given me supple answers to satisfy my philosophical exuberance. Cormac Marek (code wow)Golden crowns are placed gently over our graceful heads. I sit atop a throne of melting gold. It oozes between my grasp. Silver stretches through my veins like rapids. Those who whisper pleasurable things in my ears bring me great news! I lay back in a beach of three alliances. White sand soft to the touch. Ellie and Joseph have taken me in as their own. Raffy presents me with platters of succulent grapes. My teeth crush the flesh of the fruit for sacred matrimony. Sierra has a seat beside me on the throne made of feathers. Her words float with mine like a bird that takes flight. Zoe is equal in measure, following accordance to the laws I have sown. A core three to dominate the world among us. My strong hands rattle at a steel chain. Links that draw down from my throne all the way to a pit that holds the unclean. Within this dirt pit lies four individuals. They are imprisoned for the time being. Jack’s chain collar around his neck holds him in a firm foundation. Maynor has given up trying to dig his way out of the pit in recent days. From time to time the royalty of the palace gawk over the pit in giggles. Our laughter and pointed fingers at those who do not wish to play. They won’t engage in the grand game! How dare they! Stephen is our jester. Hopping around on two feet. I hold Kieran in my lap, petting like I would a new puppy. Our dinner parties are the most jubilant! My closest allies sit at the front of the long table with me. We throw food at Jack on occasion. “Oh, ha. Ha. Yes! Why my darling do you speak of me?” Justin started to fall of his chair. “I did not say a thing Cormac! Please don’t throw the gorgeous rotten tomato at my body again!” I am furious! Purple faced! “How dare you! You are from Spain! Timmy is hiding there and you refuse to tell me! Take him away!” Spit drools down my chin. John grabs Justin by the ribcage and drags him out of the marble hall. “My week is ruined now you insulant foolish people! All except you my dears.” I turn to Zoe and Sierra to compete in our secret handshake. After which I stand a top the long table to proclaim my frustrations. “Find Timmy! Bring him to me in one piece! Go now! Hurry! My belly can’t wait much longer!” God am I full. Stuffing was thick this morning. Raffy must have put extra butter in the food again.  

Ellie

So, Bitch is a little scared. I didn’t preform well but I was at a debate tournament. Also if we’ve learned anything from my last game it’s that I’m good with persuasion so I’m asking around to get names and Kieran hasn’t really been social or a help in challenges so I’m leaning towards that choice but we shall see

Ellie

I have nothing against Kieran personally, he just seems like the Gigi of this season. Although I hope to god that my tribe is not a mea repeat

Ellie

We’re trying to play calmly this time, I’m letting the names come to me. I’m throwing names out there without actually saying the names and I’m proud of myself, fuck you marie lmaooo

Ellie

I just realized that I’m the only girl on my tribe wtf, I don’t like that. We’ll live tho

Maynor

Its been two days since cup challenge and my arms are still kinda sore. Unloading the truck yesterday was not fun at all. But im glad that my hard effort helped us win immunity. Everyone else dod amazing in their parts. I really like my tribe. Im currently talking to Zoe, Cormac (think i misspelled it, im sorry) and Stephen. Hopefully im good socially that im not an easy out. I need to continue on my idol search

Raffy

I got chosen to participate in Joseph's and Ellie's idol hunts. I am very grateful for the position because it means, out of everyone, they got the best vibes from me. This is a good sign that my social game is carrying me. Hopefully that means I can trust them later. I gave Ellie the advantage path because I plan on working with her in the future, so it'd be best if I had an advantage on my side. Since I do not really talk to Joseph but like him, I gave him a dead end. Better than getting a disadvantage in my opinion. I cannot believe we lost the challenge, but I guess I should believe considering that people didn't seem to try or care. It frustrates me that Ellie and Kieran did not even try on the challenge. That is just so ugly. My vote will probably go to Kieran because he's barely active whereas Ellie is. Plus, I want to use Ellie as my ally for the future. Let's see how that goes. I think the group consensus will be Kieran as Ellie and Justin both have told me so. 

John

oh my god my plan worked. not only did we win, but i didn’t get the clue. i DEFINITELY did not want that target on my back, especially this early. but the downside of all of this is that i seriously don’t know who we would go after if we lose the next challenge, so that’s great. love that.

Cormac Marek (code fisa)

Frivolous swirls of insanity encompass my legs. They run where I tell them not to go, they climb where I dare not go. Storms are a brew in the far horizon. Delightful beckons to the ship’s quarters. Out on this dangerous sea lies two heartfelt apologies. Maynor has come to me in rags. Sweat, mucky, like a swine before dinner time. Slop to the finest hour. I have just caught word that Sierra may have former allegiances to the British crown. Here on our swamp ship of misfits we do not find the posh so delectable. Timmy is still beyond the narrow ocean hiding with his mystical forces. My greatest foe, my closest lover. Two woven in with the other. My chair is plastered with the skulls of those come to perish. Eye sockets whirling with squirming worms. “I thought you knew what I wanted Maynor! I want Timmy’s head on a platter! Get out of my sight before I have to bring Keith into my bedchambers to whip you again! Ten lashes for each word spoken against me!” Maynor retreats off into the underbelly of my ship. “Come here my love, my sweet seashell.” Zoe draws herself behind my shoulder and rolls out a scroll of activity. “Sierra was Timmy’s long-lost lover. I have seen it in my prophesies at sunrise. She knows Maynor from a past life and both of the Dylan folk!” Zoe gasps at the pure horror of her own revelation. I spit out my roast mutton in agony. A bone is stuck in my throat. “I’m choking on my own dispositions!” 

Salt spreads through my open mouth as I stare gaping at the dark sea. Where will this lead our ship? Will a betrayal bubble from below the surface? Will Davy Jones come to imprison me in his locker? Only blood, time, and friction will show the path ahead. 

cormy marek

Gameplay analysis: 

From day one I made sure to message every single person. This would make sure I was in on that first batch of important alliances. 

By doing so Joseph contacted me and brought Ellie + Sierra into a cross-tribal alliance. 

The Worms Alliance consisted of a solid four with myself, Zoe, John, and Sierra.

This made sure I was inside the vote decisions. 

Then I made sure to solidify my alliances with Sierra and Zoe to be made stronger. 

The Frozen Five happened without my knowing. I believe Zoe invited me. This only added Keith to the equation who we need for a majority. 

Then I caught word Sierra already knew Maynor, Timmy, and Dylan from past games. This meant that I had to now connect with Maynor more so he could recommend me to Sierra. He said he had not spoken to her yet but that could be a lie. 

Raffy seems like someone I could drag into our numbers at a swap. Our cross-tribal alliance makes things sweeter. 

I’m trying to pull a Noura so I can be drug into the merge but at the same time engaging in forward game chat with Zoe, Sierra, and John as to not seem like a drifter. 

Right now I am trying to pull Keith closer to me. Jack is in outer space. We don’t know where he is. 

So in Melrakki I am in on the majority, core, and inner workings. 

Jack is on the outs. Maynor might be in cahoots with Sierra. Stephen has not made strong connections yet. 

Kieran, Dylan R, and Timmy are not speaking with me yet. Odd considering we could swap at any time. I need their numbers on my side. 

I shared the clue in One World to put the target off my back and give everyone equal opportunity. I do not want the idol so it works in my favor. We shall see how the next challenge goes. 

Ellie

Seeing as I’m the youngest (well, I assume I am) and the only girl on my tribe I feel like the little sister, and I will definitely use that to my advantage 

Timmy

Ellie literally messaged me hi and the next message was my thoughts on tribal. Like i don’t know you nor would I give you all my thoughts thus far for a name after one hi. Also, I’m about to lose my vote because these slide puzzles are extra.

Dylan C

https://youtu.be/zPAsozK6pqY

Ellie

THERES THREE GIRLS IN THIS GAME WE NEED TO STAY STRONG

Joseph (survivor Iceland Winner)

I made a nice cross-streams alliance with Elle, cormac, and Sierra. I didn’t get to the idol. Poopy. But I have some ideas in the works. But we need to win at least one immunity before I try to get any threats out. Kieran is almost definitely going home. Tonight at tribal, I plan on voting for raffy, because nobody else will. And I don’t want him to feel too safe. Throw some paranoia at him and then I might convince him to join an alliance with me. We shall see. 

Raffy

Ellie is telling me how she's bonding with Zoe over being the only two girls on this tribe. I told her that she should include me in their little alliance that will no doubt be formed between them. Ellie is looking to be more and more of a social threat. I need to keep her close, otherwise I might find myself on the other side of a majority alliance following her.

Justin

So, my tribe is pretty chill. I don't really have anything negative to say about anyone thus far. Besides Raffy kinda gives me annoying vibes. Not sure why, but something about him just annoys me. Other than that, Timmy and I get along pretty well, and I can see myself aligning with him in the future. Ellie as well I vibe with pretty good. Everyone else is pretty meh as of now. As of now, I'm only building connects and feeling the vibes of the others. With that, I want to take out the people I'm least connected to, so that I know what's up with everyone. This might be because I find him kinda annoying, but I want Raffy out soon. He definitely is a talker, and I feel like he will try to take my niche in game of being connected with everyone. However, I think it is too early to go at him since I don't want to call the shots too early, and I'm sure people will object to that as the first vote. So for the first tribal, I want to vote out a person who is least connected to everyone to make the tribe more unified, and make sure I'm not the first one out. That person being Kieran. Everyone I have talked to has said his name, so I'm going along cuz that is not my name. Plus, he barely talks to me too so I don't care.

Raffy

It seems that everyone is good with voting Kieran, unless I am getting blindsided which would not be cute. However, I believe that this tribe won't be messy the very first tribal council.

Keith is so desperate to pry information from Ellie and I about tribal council. Like you do not have to know nor do you have to care. He needs to be careful because his prying nature can give off bad vibes to certain people. Though he did tell Ellie that Stephen seems to be on the outs with his tribe. 

cormac marek

Justin just came to me thinking I was in his tribe when in fact we are on different tribes. His tribe is going to council tonight but I'm safe. He thinks we are voting together when I don't even have his vote! Said as long as we stuck together tonight we should be ok. He is going to gasp when he realizes I am not on his tribe! So they are voting for Kieran! Insider knowledge is great. Poor kid. "We should be good, I think we're safe as long as Kieran goes home. Who are you voting for." I told him I was going to vote for Kieran. ZoeCormac and I got really close this morning, and confirmed each other as trusted partners. We have an order for if things go wrong and we have to vote somebody off, but we're also both feeling confident that our alliance is a strong one. I'm not so sure about Maynor, because I feel like he doesn't talk very much. I can't get a read on whether or not he has aligned with other people, and if he ends up getting an idol clue I'm not sure whether or not I'd be able to pull him in, based on a super short conversation we had during the bamboo chopping challenge about aligning after merge.

Stephen

So guess who didnt make a confessional yet? This guy. Oops. So Maynors in my tribe, yay, love that guy, but also eek, good player. Coin toss on whether I try and work with him this game. Cormac or whoever really weirds me out. Sierra seems really cool though I like them. Also this idol hunt system being full of jigsaw puzzles? Iconic.

Jack

I bonded with all gays, so that was fun. Thinking of starting something with Raffy and Ellie after merge, but Cormac and Sierra  and I seem to be good.

[babygirlblogging-lise-blog]

My First

I failed my driving test. 

That was in the fall of 2017, I was a senior in high school. All of my friends were getting their licenses and cars while I was stuck being a passenger. The woman who failed me thought I wasn’t confident enough. Like damn, can’t even be nervous without being penalized these days huh? She failed me for the most ridiculous shit. But that has nothing to do with the story I plan on telling. 

A few weeks before my eighteenth birthday I tried again. This was something I needed to do before I turned 18. Giving up wasn’t an option. There was no way I wanted to retake my written if I didn’t pass before I was considered a legal adult. The guy who tested me this time? He was fine as hell and now that I think about it, I was supposed to text him when I turned eighteen. I lost his number, sadly. But that also has nothing to do with the story. I want to tell you the story about the first guy I-

-’ve always been cheap. I was ten when my aunt was going to get a new car. I convinced her to save her old car for me so that when I started driving I wouldn’t have to buy a car. By the end of the summer of 2017, my grandpa fixed up the old car and I was all good to go. Free to go wherever I wanted. I no longer had to wait around for people, waste money on lyfts or walk. So naturally, I took myself on adventures. 

One night, against my better judgement. I lied to my mom and said I was going to hang out with my friends. If I would have told her what I was really going to do, she would’ve gone into over protective mode and I didn’t want that. I just wanted some time to myself. I drove over the bridge and into Philly. Not for a concert or any other event. I just wanted some me time. I parked my car. Got oreo ice cream and sugar cookies from Insomnia Cookies and walked around the city. 

Not going to lie and say I knew exactly where I was at all times. I wasn’t even guaranteed that I was safe, I wasn’t focused on my surroundings. All I know is I was somewhere around Broad Street, because that’s where Insomnia Cookies was located. I came across this huge, gorgeous building, I’m not very good at names. Everything was lit up and there was art on the sides of some of the buildings surrounding it. There was even a fountain in front of it all. The scene just looked so beautiful. I walked across the street, hopped up on a ledge and just took it all in. It felt serene, even with so many people flooding the sidewalks. I sat and continued eating my snacks, I was enjoying clearing my head. Until someone interrupted me that is… 

“Hey.” I looked up to see a cute guy. There were a few girls not too far from me talking. It was the beginning of August, late at night but still pushing eighty degrees. Of course they were clad in clothes that left nothing to the imagination. I figured he was talking to them. Guys like the ones who look easy. He couldn’t have been talking to me. So I went back to dipping my cookie into my ice cream and admiring the scenery. I didn’t really acknowledge the fact that he moved a little closer to me. He said hey again and I finally looked up at him directly, before looking around. He laughed a little. “I don’t blame you for being that into ya snacks. I love their shit. But I’ve been trying to get your attention for a minute.” Yep, he’s definitely talking to me. I was confused as to why though. I get hit on by guys pretty often, I know I’m not ugly but with him talking to me, I felt extremely insecure. Suddenly I wished that I had dressed a little better. I looked like a child for fucks sakes. I was wearing a gold fish shirt, black tights, a hat that said “Hoodrats” and Chucks. I was even swinging my legs off the ledge, eating ice cream! 

He introduced himself as Dey. I wanted to know the name his mom gave him so I asked him for his full name. Ayinde. Pronounced Uh-zhen-day. Unique. It has African origins. He told me that my name was almost as pretty as I was. If I were white, I definitely would have blushed. I didn’t understand why he made me feel so shy. 

 I learned that he was mixed with Irish, Haitian and Cuban. Interesting mix, I know. Despite his slight baby face, he turned out to be 20. He was tall, about 6’1. He had taken his hat off to redo his ponytail, he tied his curly, brown hair back into a man bun. He was light skinned with a slight tan. Doe brown eyes paired with the cutest smile. He was dressed in all black, I would’ve been a little concerned if it weren’t for the logo on his hat. I could see a tattoo peeking out from under his short sleeved shirt. Just my type. 

I was tired of the small talk and beating around the bush. “Why’d you come over here to talk to me?” Instead of replying, the douche just smiled and then hopped up on the ledge next to me. It was weird. I was supposed to be having me time, if any other guy did this I would’ve been rude. I wouldn’t have given them the time of day. I wasn’t even afraid, Ayinde strangely made me feel safe. Something was telling me to give him a chance, instead of shutting him down. 

“Well, I was on break, I work across the street.” He points to a small cafe. “I saw you walk by and… I don’t know I thought you were beautiful. Now that I’ve gotten closer, it seems so effortless. No make up and you’re not even dressed up.”

Shit, I have no clue what to say to this. He’s been nice and respectful. “Thank you.” Well, that was lame but it was safe. We talked more before he had to go back to work. He was funny as hell, we both had the same rude, dark, sarcastic humor. He complimented me pretty often and he seemed kind of bummed that he had to leave once his break was over. 

“Why don’t you grow some balls and just ask me what you wanna ask me.” I thought to myself, I should be a fucking actress. I’m great at faking confidence. 

He laughed and just smiled at me for a second. “Well, I would like to get to know you more. Can I get your number?” 

You know when you give someone your number, you almost expect them to wait days or weeks to text you. Surprisingly, Ayinde texted me that night. 

AYINDE: hey beautiful, u get home safely?

ME: Oh shit, I see u found ur balls! 

AYINDE: lol yea yea yea. I know I was acting like a pussy earlier but that’s not how I usually am

***

AYINDE: FT me? I haven’t seen u since we met punk

ME: No I look crazy rn 

AYINDE: Is tht even possible? I think you’re cute af

ME: aww thanks but everyone’s entitled to their own insecurities

AYINDE: Ig but that’s y u need me 

ME: wym?

AYINDE: to take away your insecurities

ME: Doubt that’s possible 

AYINDE: try me

***

ME: entertain meee! I’m bored, stuck at my great grandma’s house :(

AYINDE: I literally just woke up, still in bed

ME: Luckyyy, my head’s fucking killing me

AYINDE: wish I could help

ME: me too lol do u have superpowers? 

AYINDE: no, do u?

ME: Nah I’m not tht awesome 

AYINDE: I think ur pretty awesome

Ayinde and I got closer over the next month. We hadn’t actually seen each other after the first time we met. He worked crazy hours and still had school. I worked everyday and had school as well. Plus, I wasn’t completely comfortable meeting up with a guy I didn’t really know. He understood that. He always made sure I was comfortable before we did anything. He eventually convinced me to facetime him… a lot... and when we didn’t he acted like a big baby.

ME: u happy now?

AYINDE: lol no

ME: y not -_-

AYINDE: I got nothing pretty to look at now

ME: whose fault it tht?

AYINDE: idk. Do u kno?

ME: Lol yea ik

AYINDE: tell me 

ME: yours :P

AYINDE: well if u came over we wouldn’t have this problem

I was a very late bloomer. I knew freshmen girls who got pregnant, meanwhile I hadn’t had my first kiss until I was 16. I didn’t start dating until 17. I was a fresh 18 and I was still a virgin. I waited a while to tell him because I liked him and didn’t want to scare him off. But he surprised me, I learned that he wasn’t like other guys. Most guys only want you for one thing. And that’s to get them off. Not all are gonna be lovey dovey when you’re not putting out. 

ME: I hate being a girl. I think my uterus just exlpoded. Im dying

AYINDE: Aww u can’t die yet, I havent taken u out yet

ME: wut do u want from meee

AYINDE: I told u what I want 

ME: hmmmm

AYINDE: i didnt? 

ME: u could have an ulterior motive

AYINDE: lol what? Ayo y cant I just think ur gorgeous and want to get to kno u, find out who u r

***

He was very protective of me. Anytime I even looked a tiny bit sad or sounded off, he was ready to beat someone up for me. 

AYINDE: ur awake? 

ME: Yea just woke up on some bs 

AYINDE: u good?

ME: yea im ok lol

AYINDE: u sure? I’ll fuck someone up

ME: lol yea im good now

And as the oldest, always looking out for my little brothers and my friends. It felt good to have someone looking out for me for a change. 

***

ME: I move into college tmw nd I aint pack shit yet

AYINDE: ur bugging

ME: Pack 4 me?

AYINDE: lol ill pass

ME: my back hurts like all hell, some of this shit is heavy

AYINDE: what u carrying…?

ME: 4 one, I hav a lot of clothes, they add up nd I had to take em downstairs

AYINDE: lol whoakay wittle wone

ME: fuck u, this shit weighs more than me! I almost fell down the stairs!

AYINDE: thts cuz ur like 87 lbs

ME: Aye! Give me my props, im like 120

AYINDE: lol i see u killa

I fucking loved when he called me that, made me feel invincible. 

Despite how it seems this isn’t a love story. This isn’t a memoir about me finding my first love. Bleh. That’s so sappy. I want to tell you about the first time I stepped out of my comfort zone. You’ve experienced a snippet of our relationship. Ayinde and I were never together. We were just people who met at the wrong time. Had too much going on in our separate lives to focus on developing a relationship. But it didn’t stop us from pursuing the unique friendship we had. For years we maintained contact, I’d visit him pretty often but we always kept our distance when it came to personal things. We used each other as escapes from our realities. We were each other’s vacation after a long week. 

One night we were hanging out and things got more heated than they usually did. I wasn’t prepared to take the next step with anyone. No worries, I’m not about to make you uncomfortable and talk about how I lost my virginity because that isn’t the point. Before I say anything, I did have a great childhood. But some things did leave me scarred, I struggled with intimacy as a result. To make a long story short, it makes me self conscious, not something I’ll flaunt for the whole world to see. 

I’m the type of girl who will wait until the bathroom is empty to change my pad or start going to the bathroom. If it’s too busy, I’ll wait all day until I go home. In the locker room, I’d find the farthest corner or wait until all the girls leave to change my clothes. I’m not comfortable being alone around men. I used to clench my pocket knife in my hand when I walked home alone at night. The list goes on. 

The point of this memoir is to tell about the first time I felt completely comfortable in my own skin. Let alone, around a guy. 

They were everywhere. Trailing from my neck and back up against mine. His lips were distracting. I could barely focus. Let alone notice that the both of us were wearing less and less clothing by the minute. I stopped. 

I wouldn’t be able to handle him not liking what he saw. What if I did a bad job? What if he stopped talking to me?

“Do you want me to stop?” Ayinde pulled back from me looking concerned. He looks so cute right now. I kind of wanted to pick up where we left off. 

“Ye-No. It’s just, can you turn the lights completely down?” He liked his room dim, not too bright or dark. It was normally perfect but at that moment, they were making this situation turn into a nightmare.

“Um, why? What’s wrong?” He’s still hovering above me. I didn’t really want him to move. I bit my lip, contemplating. 

“Just don’t look at me any differently. Okay?” I pulled him down by the back of his neck and kissed him hard. Hoping that my issues with myself wouldn’t be a big deal, I’ve never gone this far with anyone. 

When the time came. I held my breath. Okay, I see my pants on the floor near the dresser. My shirt is near the door. I was locating my clothing so that I’d be able to leave quicker. I’m not really one to feel embarrassed but this was going to be borderline humiliating if I wasn’t enough for him. This reminded me of how I felt when I failed my driving test, but I wanted to do this with Ayinde. I didn’t want to quit just because I hadn’t grown the balls to show anyone else. I didn’t want to miss out because I was nervous as to what he might think. I had to at least give him a chance. 

What Ayinde did shocked me. Instead of being grossed out or losing his hard on. He didn’t ask any questions, he didn’t say anything. He kissed every part of my body and when he was done he leaned down to kiss my lips. I was worried, about him seeing all of me, for no reason. He wound up giving me the confidence I needed to be comfortable in my own skin. He told me what I needed to hear from a guy that I was into, not my parents: 

“You’re beautiful.”

And just like that... I didn’t have anymore insecurities. 

[lazyphiladelphiareviews]

Lazy Philadelphia Review: Hikari Sushi

Sup. I am Elliot and this is a lazy Philadelphia review about the sushi restaurant called Hikari. It is so lazy that I didn’t even capitliaze correctly the name of this blog, or web series or whatever this is. Also didn’t bother to spell capitalize correctly. That is the kind of review this is gonna be.

So it has been awhile since I have done a restaurant review here. Why? That is none of your business.

Okay so let’s get into it.

Hikari is a sushi place in my neighborhood where I live. It is the Northern Liberties neighborhood of Philadelphia which used to be cool but is now only cheap yet somehow expensive new construction inhabited by loud entitled yupster assholes arguing with each other in online message boards about dog shit and bicycle theft.

So like I used to go to this other sushi place in my neighborhood but then this guy started working there who used to be a cashier at my local bodega, like ten years ago, and I don’t want him to recognize me and be like “how you been” so I just stopped going there entirely and needed a new sushi place.

So this place Hikari is on the other side of my neighborhood but it is under new management and I wasn’t doing anything Sunday night except fucking off until the Eagles game so I was like I should go try it.

I had been there before. It was fine. But like I said, I needed to get away from this guy who was going to try to like...ask me how ive been, so I was willing to give it another shot. I had heard it is under new management or whatever. So I went out and got a couple expensive fancy Japanese beers and walked there, which was a bad idea because I was basically wearing pajamas and it is December. But if you think I am going to put on pants on a Sunday you better think again, kemosabe. 

Ok so I went in and sat at the sushi bar and was greeted by the chef. He did not speak English. This is a picture of him i found on the internet.

So the first thing he did was basically fangirl over the beers I brought in, which he had never seen before, and quite frankly im not sure he had ever seen beer itself before because he was ASTOUNDED that I could somehow get Japanese beers into America, of all places, but then told me that I should be drinking Whiskey instead, and I was like relax bro it’s Sunday night and I still have the Leaving Las Vegas shakes from Friday night let’s downshift a gear.

Ok so I need to repeat the fact to you that this man does not speak English. I am not judging in any way whatsoever, but it is definitely part of the experience when you are sitting there trying to make conversation with a dude who is touching your food with his bare hands and holding a knife, so you need to try to understand him, but it is very difficult, like I would pick up one word per sentence and try to piece it all together. It is like when you are talking to a really beautiful girl in a bar but she already had 5 double Titos and Seltzer and she just wants to text her ex but she knows she shouldn’t but you know what she is going to do it because it doesn’t bother her anymore and he doesn’t even mean anything and Jason like doesn’t even exist to her anymore and its fine, no seriously its fine. Its fine. Its fine! Its fine. Shes fine. Shes fine. Shes totally fine. Jason fucked her over and it is his loss and seriously it is fine.

So anyways you gotta be that guy just standing there trying to be polite but really just wanting to get away. From the girl, not the sushi chef. I was v hungry.

So the first thing he said was something about appetizers and I was like hell ya dude so he produced some pork and chive dumplings that were excellent. Seriously they were great.

Oh shit I almost forgot to describe the inside. It is small. There is only a few tables and there are girls wearing black shirts who are the wait staff. There is some like, remixed 90’s dream pop playing over the speakers, which is great if you like to listen to Portishead while eating dangerous sea creatures.

Ok so I don’t know if you knew this about me but I do not eat mayo. I think it is like sour devil jizz of the devil and I do not fuck with it under any circumstances. So when I was ordering my sushi combo I was like do not give me any of that spicy mayo I wont stand for it, so make it like plain tuna rolls w my combo or whatever…

Basically what I am trying to say here is that I was being very particular (demanding) with this poor man who is just trying to make an honest living.

So then my food came out and like, instead of the mayo tuna roll, he had replaced it with an eel roll, which is something that I had mentioned earlier that I liked. I didn’t even ask for it. He just read my mind. Ok well I had mentioned it earlier so its not like he is psychic but he obviously understood me WAY better than I understood him, which is not easy because I am from Worcester Massachusetts and our accent isn’t described by anyone to be delicate whatsoever.

The Worcester accent is like if the Boston accent drank nine 4LOKOS and somebody brought up the fact that they think Tom Brady isn’t the best of all time. It is like the words beat the shit out of each other within my mouth and then come out all bruised up with child services on their ass.

Ok so since I am fat, that food, which is enough food for 2 people so far, was not enough for me so I was like “can I get an octopus roll too?” and he was like sure. So then he really got to work.

Here is the thing about octopi. They are super smart and can change colors and solve puzzles. I love them. But they are hideous looking so throw those tentacles on some rice and let’s party. No mayo.

Okay so like, when he was making this Octopus action, I have never seen anyone put more care into anything. He was like slicing it into pieces, then like had them all arranged in a little plate, then he brought out a mini blowtorch and was like blowtorching them I was like dude im already impressed don’t try too hard. Then he hands me a special octopus hand roll, another thing that I did not order, to eat, and it was good, but then my actual octopus sushi came out and that was good too.

The two best things that I ate there, besides the dumplings which were excellent and I am a dumpling expert, were the salmon and then some kind of pickled whitefish?

The salmon, he explained to me in great and careful detail, is from either Norway, Scotland, or a farm. I have no idea what he said. 

I hope he didn’t end up texting Jason. He can do so much better. 

But yea the place is great. Check it out. 

Hikari! The things you didn’t order taste great!

Ok This has been lazy Philadelphia something or other idk

[wayneooverton]

All the mean, nasty and godawful hateful things people say to me online

Guys, why do people troll on the internet? Why are blogger hate comments a thing? Let this be the philosophical question of the day. Please, god, why? WHY? WHY?

And of all the people, why me? I’m a perfectly innocent little travel blogger over here, just minding my own business. The purpose of this blog is to inspire people to travel, what is so confronting about that? Move along. Why can people be so mean to me online? I don’t get it. I’m lovely, alright?

Just kidding. Sometimes I’m a shit stirrer. I stir the pot on purpose. If I see something I think is wrong, I say it. Also, god did not see fit to gift me with grace or tact. I am really good at regularly putting my foot in my mouth, often publicly. I also don’t know when to back away. And I’m cynical. Is this a recipe for a well-loved image? I’m not quite sure.

At least I’m real, right? Of all my flaws at least I like to think I’m authentic, the only truly honest blogger in a sea of vapid, shallow fools.

Stop talking, Liz. Like right now.

Anyways, it’s no secret, I get mean comments on the regular, so regular in fact that I have been doing annual round ups of the best mean comments I get every single year since 2012. I know I’m shamefully overdue on this post. I completely missed 2016.

2016 was an intense year for me, and when it came down to digging through comments looking for the horrible ones, I just couldn’t bring myself to go down that particular roller coaster. It was also the first year I started to get death threats. I just wasn’t in the mood. Can you forgive me?

Hate comments aren’t a novelty to me anymore, and they haven’t been for a long time. I’ve gotten tens of thousands of comments over the years, with a small percentage of them being ugly, and I’ve learned to just let them slide by in a giant wave of pity – I truly for sorry for anyone that takes the time to hate me so much online. Also, I’m probably laughing at you.

The best hate I got in 2015

The best hate I got in 2014

The best hate I got in 2013

The best hate I got in 2012

Also, I’ve really just stopped paying attention when people troll me; five years of regular trolls has given me armor. I went from being a delicate rose who bruised easily to a goddamn rhino. Go on, try and say something to mean to me. It can hardly be any worse that what I’ve gotten before.

And to be honest, it’s the same shit day in and day out. You’re privileged (yeah I know), you’re entitled (no I am not, thank you), you travel off your daddy’s money (HA, if you only knew…), you’re ugly, you’re fat, you’re stupid, you swear too much, you’re a know it all, you do this why don’t you do that, blah blah blah it never fucking ends.

Honestly, I yearn for the creative insults. I think my trolls have gotten lazy. Where’s the witty banter? The colorful backhanded comments? The passive aggressive DMs? They’ve disappeared into regular grammatically ugly “what a c*nt” and “how is this blog even popular” lazy comments. I mean for fuck’s sakes guys, if you’re gonna come for me, try a little.

But I digress. Back by popular demand, I’ve taken the time to dig through my work and find the best of the best blogger hate comments, the most entertaining, the ugliest, the cruelest, the worst hate comments I get just for you. Because at the end of the day, the only way we can deal with this BS is just to laugh. You’re welcome. Enjoy.

1. The most popular Facebook comment in response to an article about how I built my career in blogging

And if she wasn’t a young blond with a penchant for putting out to old men she’d be working at Officeworks for $15/hr

I want to start an argument about feminism here but just can’t be fucked.

2. And the second most liked comment on the same article 

The only thing worse than a human that resembles a vacuous opportunistic sponge is the plethora of parasites that aspire to be just that.

Just so we’re clear, I’m the sponge and you’re the parasite in this allegory.

3. Writing about how Jane Goodall inspires me to be better with conservation

You are not an “activist for saving the planet.” The number of flights you take each year creates more carbon emissions that most of us create in our LIVES. If you actually cared about the environment you would travel solely by bike and public transport with an occasional flight, not dozens of international flights a year. Get a grip.

I mean, fair point. I’d love some tips about biking overseas from the island of New Zealand where I live.

4. I really hate it when people don’t get sarcasm online on my how to cheat on Instagram

Teaching young people that life depends on Instagram. Thats great and people were wondering what was happening to our decaying society. Telling them that their popularity will increase if they sell their sexuality too. Wow what a true feminist you are. Pathetic. The whole millennial generation is going to be morally bankrupt.

I just facepalmed so hard.

5. Speaking of Instagram…

Not to be rude, just honest, but I noticed your photos have extremely low engagement for “168K” followers. I wonder if the companies who pay you notice this.

Guys, I’m literally one of the ONLY people who doesn’t cheat on Instagram! That’s why my engagement isn’t out of this world. But thanks for pointing that out.

6. That one time I wrote that Central Otago is one of the only regions in New Zealand that has four distinct seasons (which is true)

Seriously? The only region in New Zealand that experiences four distinct seasons? You need to travel more and drink less Pinot. I’m not even sure how I got your spam mail, but I live here, not just a FIFO tourist. If you want to trade travel stories, I’m sure you’ll lose.

You can’t make me drink less Pinot!!!! YOU CAN’T MAKE ME!

7. When I wrote a million years ago about things that I hate that people do on airplanes

Sounds like a person who wrote the original article needs more than Ambien. probably could use some Xanax and some Prozac also. when you travel on a plane you know there is also something called other human beings. Get a grip. judging by your photo, You’re not that cute or anything special…..

Hope you find the help you need.

Kisses!

You know, funny story. One time in Bangkok I went to a pharmacy to get some sleeping pills for upcoming long haul flights – sometimes in Southeast Asia I can get strong sleeping pills over the counter. They gave me Xanax, no questions asked. Best flight ever. In fact, imagine if Xanax was provided on all long-haul flights. Who do I need to speak to about this?

8. Any time I provoke the vegans, one of my favorite pastimes 

Me: writes thousands of words about wildlife, travel, sustainable tourism practices or about anything really

All of the vegans: You should consider going vegan

Me: but, bacon? So tasty.

All of the vegans: PITCHFORKS AT ATTENTION!

As a close friend used to say, do not negotiate with terrorists, Liz.

9. When I wrote a blog post about how to move to New Zealand as American (if you need some entertaining, go read through the comments) which is a minefield!

It is not your home. even if you wish it was it’s not, it is new zealands home. fuck off to your own home. leave mine alone… just fuck off back to usa and leave nz to be nz. stop telling people how to get here, we don’t want you. most nzers hate americans, you are boring n have no sense of humour, just fuck off bck to usa and leave nzers to our own country, plus u don’t get my point cos u dumb american.if u don’t want to be thought of a american sterotype don’t act like dunb american cunt….you are such a dunb cunt. this is why we hate you.

I can’t look beyond the grammatical and spelling errors in this, honestly I tried, but I can’t.

Yes go ahead pls MOVE out from US we don’t need weak, pathetic, ignorant ppl here who need “safe-spaces” You have been brain washed by fake media like cnn, fox, abc etc for too long

I just can’t.

Congratulations on proving again that liberal thought is shallow and feelings-based. Too much reading making your head hurt?

I’m literally the biggest reader you’ve ever met. Don’t even.

I read the first couple of paragraphs and had to stop. As a Trump supporter, I am offended by your words and will now stop following you. It’s really too bad that you offend some of your followers, here I thought I was following a travel blog. Please do move to NZ, because America will be better off without you!!

It’s ok, I’m ashamed to have had you as a reader.

That response obviously shows why 20 something women shouldn’t even have the right to vote.

*Begins to pull hair out of own head*

Im just trying to save you from having to take depression medication for the rest of your life thats all. What are you on now Zoloft or Prozac?

Neither, unfortunately. I sure could use one after reading this.

10. I appeared in a big NBC Dateline special about American’s moving to New Zealand and man, that opened the floodgates of crazy

Stay out of America you traitor bitch.

This was the first of many comments calling me a traitor.

STAY OUT OF AMERICA YOU BITCH. HOPE A HOBBIT KILLS YOUR SORRY ASS CUNT.

LOL!!!

STAY OUT OF AMERICA YOU BITCH. I hope a sheep kills you and your family you faggot, the USA is the best country ever.

Me: I feel so sorry for you

I feel worse for you, you no good commie bastard. Stay out of my country and fuck off cunt. Fuck you you no life blogger get a real job.

Me: You feel better now?

Yes, I’m living in the US of A #MAGA fuck. Cuck.

Me: Well I feel better living in a place with people nicer than you. And I have healthcare. And I can spell.

BOOM! How’d they do? What’s the worst thing anyone has said to you online? Do you get trolled? How do you cope? Spill!

The post All the mean, nasty and godawful hateful things people say to me online appeared first on Young Adventuress.

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[cenaynaylovesjesus]

Access June 18th Outline Notes

Share: Pastor Joe from the Singapore site asked us this question. What is something that you are proud of in your life? Why?

Personal Reflection -junior Duchess -valedvictorian. -got to dream college (UT AUSTIN), graduated and got scholarships to fund education. Why am I proud of those goals? I set a goal and stuck with it for the most part.

Greater than what i hold onto. Consider: where do u find your safety, security and success? What do you hold onto?

The One Thing: Give up what you hold onto in vain; Jesus is your real gain.

Luke: 18: 18-23 ESV I. Jesus knows your "one thing" Profile: young rich man is… -young -successful. -entitled position of authority and influence. -educated. -do-gooder. "Good teacher, what must I do ro inherit eternal life?" Vs. 18

What is your actual belief about God?   In Singapore- people have the right answer for everything. 1+1=2. Right thing to say. There is this Asian culture to try to save face You have a different.... Face with family. Face In public Face with friends. Face at work. Americans value freedom of expression.. as long as I express myself that’s what matters. Not as much freedom to express what you honestly feel in Singapore and Asia in general.

It’s hard to know what people’s actual belief’s about God is because there is this culture of saving face. What is your actual belief about God? Jesus starts to reveal what he actually believes. Jesus asks.. why do u call me good? No one is good except God alone. God defines what is good alone. Do u really know and believe I am God?

The young rich guy: tells Jesus “I have kept the ten commandments since i was young.” Modern day rendition: “I I I think that I am good, and i am going to jesus for him to affirm me as a good guy…” “Don’t you see those 17 gold stars i saw in kindergarten. The rich guy was insecure..  genuinely curious. The way he responds is a little defensive explaining himself insisting on his own goodness.

Pastor Joe: For many years i felt like i was a good kid. I did all the right things.. knew all the right answers. Jesus revealed the mans actual belief. This is your one thing in life. He was sad, because he had a great number of treasures.

***The rulers actual beliefs: Good things, come to good people by their own good efforts.

**This mans actual one thing (God) My own accomplishments and gains.

Sometimes it takes faith to recieve Gods gift.

Pastor Joe: “Some of you use church as a cover for your unfaithfulness. Send me Lord... why? I was running away. I was such a perfectionist that i hesitated to turn in papers on time. Man... i don’t care about what ppl think but I care what ppl think.

Have you ever been uncomfortable trying to follow God? I don’t want to do this... Im so dry.. God just disagreed with you. Have you ever walked away from God but ever walked away feeling sad? You are here present but you heart is not.

What is that one thing? That thing u have to give up.

What is your one thing? God has revealed to you that you have put your trust in? Your true idol for safety, security? Success?

When Jesus isn't your one thing, Jesus just becomes an add-on in your life to make you feel more affirmed?

I placed my church inv. At my significance. Person came in late to access and judges them for being late. I refused to address outside of Jesus. I tried desperately to find my significance in anything and everything even in good things like the church.

The young ruler found his safety and security in things other than Jesus. When we surrender to God we are so focused on the losing part we dont realize what we are gaining. I wonder if he was insecure and didnt know the steadfast love of God was greater than anything else in this world.

What the young man should have responded.. is i have no good apart from God. Psalm 16: 1-2.

“The deepest, tenderest place in the heart of God is reserved for sinners who can offer him nothing but their need.” Ray Ortlund.

II. Jesus is worth surrendering to Read Luke 18: 24-27 The disciples told Jesus “you just turned away your prime candidate.” This guys has been to OCR b4 ocring, and been to every OCR, participated in Freshman missions, did Csmp and now going on asian missions. This rich guy “Hes done it all. Hes the ultimate bachelor. If not him.. who is good enough?”

***Our idolatry makes it impossible to follow Jesus and gain eternal life. Marriage is an exclusive committed relationship. Even if you are the most hard working person in life.. if its not Jesus your pursuit..  then at some point you may turn away.

Jesus is the only good one.. its on his goodness that we stand upon.

Ask yourself: Is there anything you feel like you deserve more of? Have you been obsessed with your competence, reputation, or ranking amongst others? Have you been experiencing a loss that u need to grieve over? Is there something youve gained that you feel you need to hold onto? Is there something you dont want to pray about?

A lot of seniors.. What r u doing after graduation.. idk.. stop asking me. Its embarrassing just to say IDK. Like an essay you are dragging out that you don't know. Second, Third, 4th friend all get jobs.. First friend.. you are happy.. But you think what about me God?

Come to LG you have job.. Praise God it was a gift to me.. yes lord it was a gift praise God..i can be a missionary in my field. 4 months in and your like i hate work.. it stinks.

We always challenge graduates to give your first paycheck to step out in faith.

Students esp... im telling you its harder and harder to give up your all. As a bachelor.. all i have is time.. married.. i hesitate.. Becuase of my Baby boy.. As you get more sucessful you gain more.. the more you gain the harder it is to give and hold up.

***Is Jesus really worth it? Jesus makes eternal life worth it.  .. not by yourself but by the work of God. Vs. 27   He makes it possible to say and do good works.. overflow of good works. Ephesians 2:8-10

Read Luke 18:28 Surrender to Jesus is complete. Surrender to Jesus is continual. In order for it to be complete but continual.

J.D. Greer Surrender starts with the realization that... I would gladly give it all. Surrender means coming to God with open hands and open heart. Am I fully surrendered?

Following Jesus doesn't have anything with your current profession.. its something deeper than that. Regardless of what your doing.. what and where.

Jesus is worth it all. Paul.. whatever I had i counted as a loss for the sake of Christ.

I was so dedicated to the middle East in the military I even came up with the... Four Ms Missions in Military for Muslims in Middle East - genuine prayer at first. Camp Greenly. Rifle in my hand and training.. shooting at target. God spoke to me to pray... Vivid image of when i gave my life a few years prior.. ive been pining my hopes in marine corps. I took pride in it.. over the years.. i put my safety security and significance in military. I took out loans.. forgive all loans if you sign up for more years.   I had stopped turning to the Lord as my providor. My lord i give up marine corp.. Hehe.  I see what u are doing..   Go to county called dajbootie. Narrowed down list.. Ok lord send me. My name wasnt called. Lord.. what is it that you want me to do? Those good things had become my one thing. Whole season pray through.. hopinh whatever you want to do.. show me and ill follow.

God opened door.. miracle provision for transformation center. Month later.. Months later pastor Andrew.. asked me to get inv. With church.. Month after that sent pastor ben. Month after that first int. Church plant.. 6 months. God showed me this is what I'm doing. Person challenged me.. what y Fast and pray about it.. I think, I think God was calling me to be a Pastor..

Went with Jakarta for a year.   That was a hard year. Christ was probing my heart what my one thing really was... Are we even listening to what the Lord has to say.

Psalm 27:4 Intimacy from God was Davids one thing.

Helen H. Lemmel

One thing: Give up what you hold onto in vain; Jesus is your real gain. Life Application: I release............. My reward is Christ alone.

Reflection: I think for me, I doubt that God wants me to give up on being an AuD. I just don’t think that’s what God want’s for me, but I think He is wanting me to surrender my timeline, by not getting into grad school this year, it kind of screws up my 10 year plan, but maybe one more year in Austin is just what I need to help transform me into a missionary not only as a worker in the workplace, but also as a student, in all areas of my life. 10+1 year timeline here we go. Also if you get a chance, please watch Pastor Joe’s from Singapore’s preaching. He’s such as hilarious pastor, he’s so sassy, in speaking truth to people’s lives, he calls them out on their bluff.