#beezer st pierre

[roddyjo]

Concerning BLACK HOUSE.... do you think that after he healed up and recovered from his wounds, he ever went back to French Landing and visited Dale and Beezer and Doc?

[treehouseadventures]

So Tell Me When It Kicks In

[Dreams were something I was used to. They had been few and far between since I had married Leah, though. And practically nonexistent once I had started using my magic. It worried me a little, but not enough to say anything to Leah. It wasn’t something I needed to worry her with.

But apparently tonight was different. This was a dream I hadn’t had in years. And normally, it was of me as a child. But here I was. Standing in my mother’s garden in California. The garden I had grown up playing in. But I wasn’t sure why I was here.

It was the voice that made my posture correct itself. “You’ve finally decided to settle down, Little Man.” Little Man. It had been what my mother had called me before she passed. Before she had been taken from me as a teenager. I felt myself flinch as I turned to look at her. I wasn’t sure what I was going to find, but I shouldn’t have been surprised. She was exactly the same as she had always been. Dark hair pinned back in a bun that hung low on her neck. Her dark brown eyes focused on me in a way I could never have understood until now.

But all I could do was stare at her. It was now that I missed her the most. I wanted her to meet Leah, and that was something that was never going to happen. And I knew she would have loved my wife. She would have loved anyone who was able to get me to settle down.]

Should I be surprised that you pulled me here? It’s been years, Momma. I’ve missed your visits.

[It was the soft laugh that made a tear fall down my cheek. And before I could wipe it away, I felt my mother’s hand on my cheek wiping it away. “You didn’t need me then. But this is different. You need me. And now that you’re not busy working with Tatiana and Amiee, I could come. I didn’t want to bother you when you were working so hard to protect those around you.”

I was almost surprised she had brought up the battle with the St Pierres. But I shouldn’t have been surprised. She would have noticed in her state. And I was always going to do what I needed to do to protect what was mine.]

Then you know about the baby in the house. If you know about everything that’s gone on in my life. You know that there’s a little girl that has everyone in that house wrapped around her fingers.

[My mother’s eyes softened as I brought up Dinah. And I could see the sadness written in her face. She missed out on being a grandma. But I knew better. I knew there was a witch that was still living at the house who would give Dinah all the love from a grandmother.

“Beezer and Aurora did a wonderful job with her. Colette will give her all the attention she needs from a grandmother. And you and Leah will be amazing Godparents to her. Don’t look at me like that, Little Man. I know all about your wife and her treehouse.”

I could only raise a brow as I listened to the woman in front of me. There was no denying it, though. Beezer and Rora had asked me and Leah to be Dinah’s godparents. Beezer went to Leah while Rora came to me. It was a role reversal, but it made sense. Beezer had always been closer to Leah, and I made Rora feel comfortable when she first came to the treehouse. Those two were our family.]

I’m just sorry you’ll never get to be a grandmother. You must know about Leah. She’s one of a kind where she’s from. So we’re not thinking about starting a family. We’ve come to terms with the idea of her not having children.

[It was my mother’s turn to crack a knowing smile. And I was back to being confused. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what she was thinking. But I didn’t get the chance to ask. “You threw around a ton of magic trying to save her, Logan. Never say never. It might happen.”

I scoffed slightly. It wasn’t possible. I could do a lot of things, but I was never going to be able to make my wife carry a baby. It was something we were okay with. And having Dinah at the house made it okay.]

I just wish I had been able to introduce you to Leah. She means everything to me, Momma.

[I wasn’t going to respond to the baby line. It wasn’t something I needed to explain to my mother. But I did want my mom to know how much Leah meant to me. My mother had always told me I’d break my vow, but I still craved her approval.

“Your Little Wolf is perfect, Logan. The moment you decided to bind yourself to her, I knew that it was serious. Although, I’m disappointed in how you got married. Really? A bet? Logan Nathaniel, I thought I taught you better.”

I let out a laugh. Because I wouldn’t have changed how that happened. It was the best way I knew I could make her mine. It was the best way for the two of us to have what we wanted.] It worked, though. You cannot deny that. But I knew it from the moment I met her. She was the only woman I wanted to settle down with.

[Momma went back to giving me that soft smile. The one that was reserved for when she was happy. The one that made my chest warm with pride. “She’s your perfect match, Little Man. And she’s always going to stand by your side. Never be afraid to ask her to help. She’ll move hell and Earth to make you feel safe and happy. Just as you would her.”

I noticed the world around us starting to fade. And that was my clue that my mother was sending me back to my wife. The last thing I heard was like a whisper in the air. Her love and approval. Everything I had been craving since the moment I married my wife.

Even if Momma didn’t approve of Leah, nothing was going to change the fact that I needed her that much. Leah had been the only woman I ever wanted to spend my life with. She was the only person who could get me to use my magic. And she was the only person in the world I was ever going to call Mrs Pruit. My Little Wolf was the only person who deserved that title.

I felt my wife curled up in my arms as I came out of the dream. I didn’t wake completely. Just enough to know where I was. I couldn’t stop myself from tightening my arms around her. My lips sleepily pressed a kiss to the unruly curls that covered my chest every night. My heart was lighter now that I didn’t have to question my mother’s opinion on my wife. It was everything I needed in that moment. Everything was right. Everything was perfect.]

#SoTellMeWhenItKicksIn

[do-no-harm-spencer]

Already Choking On My Pride (SL with @InColdDecember @EverSoPatiently @WeBothGoMissing @iWillNotFade @AWolfAtHeart)

Rora: ^It had been way too long. I didn’t get time to spend with my husband anymore. It didn’t matter that I was pregnant and freaking out. It was more important to have everyone be ready for the fight. I understood it. There was no room for error with the St. Pierre pack. Especially not if Derrick was with them. I just didn’t have to like the idea of this happening. I didn’t have to like that everyone else in the Treehouse got to spend more time with my husband than I did.

I kept myself occupied. I read, I hung around with Josh, I tried to keep Spencer busy with doing exams on Dinah. I think it was something that kept all of us from thinking about what was going on around us. We were the three that were the most out of place. Both Josh and Doc were humans. Neither of them had a place in this fight. But it was the people that they cared about that brought them here.

But both of them had their other halves to decompress with at night. It felt like Mal would come back from a training session just to go into strategy meetings with Leah and Logan. By the time he would come back to our room, either I was asleep or he was within minutes of laying down. It was the only time I had him. And I was going insane.

I put the happy smile on for everyone, though. I made sure that no one in the house knew how I was really feeling. I didn’t want them to know that I felt like I was losing my husband. I felt like I was getting Beezer. A man my husband had never been for me. There was a wall up. And I was the reason that wall was up. If I hadn’t have come here, I would have never brought this upon him.

Everyone could try to tell me that I was wrong, but I knew the truth. I knew that I did this to him and Leah. I made him go back to something he hated being. And it was a guilt that ate at me. It was made worse by the absence. But I didn’t talk about that. I didn’t need to remind everyone that I was the reason this was happening. I didn’t need to be the girl that demanded her husband spend time with her when everything wrong was going on around me.

But he had noticed that something was wrong. That’s how we ended up here. Running. We were both in wolf form, but I knew it was a matter of time until one of us shifted. And with my mind where it was, I felt the attention of my wolf slip. She normally stayed right next to the black wolf that she loved so much. But today was different. She was at least a step or two behind him. And I couldn’t stop her from letting out the pained howl before I shifted back into my human form. There was too much pain to keep myself focused on her. It was the one time my shifting failed me. If there was too much going on in my head, I couldn’t keep her out. And it was breaking me today. I didn’t want to have this conversation. I wanted to be a wolf. I wanted to be away from the pain. But how was I supposed to do that when I was running with the one thing that didn’t seem to understand the source of all that pain?

I felt myself crumble into a ball as the tears started to pour down my cheeks. The sobs were tearing through my chest, and I didn’t know what I could do to stop them. I hated this. I hated this feeling. And I hated being so out of control. But I was lost for the first time in a very long time, and I felt like I had no one to turn to.^

Malachi: -Running was usually something that Aurora and I loved to do together, but it had been so long since the two of us had any time together, to run or just exist. I missed how things had been before all of this had come crashing down on our heads, but then we’d known this was coming since the beginning. They were going to find her eventually, and finding her meant finding me. I was going down to the last breath to keep her safe.

But here she was in the woods shifting back into a human before the black wolf knew what was going on. He adored her. He’d have done anything for her. And he had no idea how to help her. He walked over, whining and nuzzling against her for the moment before he let me free again. She needed me.

I knelt down on the ground next to her, brushing her hair back off her face and wishing I could just help her stop like magic.- Angel, I’m right here.

-I leaned down and scooped her gently up into my arms, hoping this was the right thing because it was all I knew how to do.-

Rora: ^I was almost more comfortable with Shadow. There was something about the wolf. Regardless of what was going on, I was always his number one priority. And if, for some reason, it wasn’t me that was in the front of his mind, it was my wolf. And that was something I understood. But I could only cry harder as I was pulled into my husband’s arms.

My belly was rounder than it had ever been. And I knew Dinah was due any day. She kept me from completely curling up in his lap. And at the moment, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. I didn’t know if I actually wanted to be in this spot. But some part of me knew that he was suffering as much as I was. That didn’t mean that it made anything easier.

My voice was harsh as I struggled to pull myself away from the man I had married. I had Colette’s words ringing through my head from our marriage. This was going to be the test of her magic. This was going to be the moment that I either destroyed him or made him stronger. And I wasn’t sure which one it was going to be. I just knew that he needed to know everything.^

I don’t know, Malachi. Doesn’t seem like you’ve been anywhere near me since everyone got here. Or maybe I’m just referring to you the wrong way. Because it feels like the only way I can get an answer out of you is if I call you Beezer. So do I have to become like Leah and Amiee and Tatiana and Logan? Do I have to start calling you Beezer to get your attention? That is not something I have ever done. It’s not something I have ever needed to do. But the moment everyone else is around, it feels like you’ve forgotten that I don’t call you Beezer. I don’t like the Beezer persona. I don’t like the Beezer wall. Because you’ve shut Malachi off from me. And I don’t know how to handle it.

Malachi: I’m sorry I’ve been such a shit husband lately. -it took all the self control I had in me to keep from breaking into tears when she called me Beezer. It wasn’t something I’ve ever heard her call me. I didn’t even know if she wanted me around with the way she was talking. Things had been stressful lately, and I reverted back to what I knew when I was stressed out. I hadn’t had as much time to give her lately  

She’d pulled herself out of my arms and it felt like someone had ripped my heart out with her.- I’m sorry. Just please don’t call me that. I’m not that to you. And I didn’t ever want to be that for you. I’d rather you punched me right in the face.

-I wanted to pull her back into my arms, but I wasn’t going to force her into that if it wasn’t where she wanted to be. I wanted all this to be over so I didn’t have to be that, but until then that part of me was a necessary evil sometimes. I was bad at figuring out when to turn it off. It broke me a little to know I’d made her feel that way- I’m sorry.

Aurora: ^I could only shake my head at him. I knew the truth. This was hard for both of us. The stress of what was happening was killing us. And if we weren’t careful, we were going to lose everything. And that was the last thing I wanted.

But I needed to hear that he was sorry. I had to make him realize what was bothering me so much. I needed him to know that this was not easy for me. It never had been. I didn’t hesitate before throwing myself back into his arms. In all actuality, it was the only place I ever felt completely safe. And I knew he was doing all of this for me. He was forcing himself to be Beezer to protect me. But Beezer wasn’t what I needed. I needed Malachi. I needed the man I had fallen in love with. I needed my husband. My words were shaky as I tried to gather myself.^

Don’t be Beezer around me. Don’t throw up walls with me. I’m the last person that needs it, Mal. I understand you need that side of you to protect me. I understand it has to come out when you’re planning with Leah or training Tatiana. But I still need my husband. I need you to come back to me. I haven’t left yet. I love you too much to walk away, but I need my husband. I don’t need the shell of a man you were before I got here.

Malachi: -I gasped in shock when she threw herself back into my arms. It half reminded me of the way she’d nearly thrown herself into my arms on the day we’d met. It was second nature to wrap my arms around her and crush her to my chest. I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

I hated that I’d reverted back to something I was before she came along. I’d lead a long life of nothing but that though, so it was easy to fall back on my instincts and what I’d been raised to be. She made that different, but I needed to protect her so I had something to go on living for after all of this was done. If she was gone, the voices came back, she wasn’t here anymore nothing was much worth any of the fight. I needed her, and I loved her beyond reason.-

I love you, Angel. I’m sorry, and If you walked away I don’t think I’d be able to handle it. I love you way too much to just be able to let you go without it pulling my entire world apart. I’m yours. I hate all of this. I hate that I’m that person even when I need to be.

-I pressed a kiss to the edge of her temple, keeping her near as possible even if her belly was there between us. I  hoped all of this was going to be over sooner rather than later. I needed my wife and my daughter safe. I needed my family safe. And this shadow hanging over all of us was more than any of us really ought to have lived with.-

Aurora: ^That was the thing that he needed to realize. I wasn’t going to walk away. Not as long as he remembered that I needed him as much as everyone else needed him. And I realized that he was being pulled in a million different directions. I knew that dropping that wall was always going to be hard. But I was really the only person that should have mattered. I should have been the one that was kept in that wall with him. But he had forced me out. I couldn’t pretend that it didn’t hurt. I could say that I understood it until I was blue in the face. And I did understand it. But I didn’t have to like it.

I didn’t want to spend all of our time like this, though. I wanted everything to be like it had once been. Even if we were ignoring everything around us. I needed him to know that this was what I wanted.^ I don’t want you to hate yourself. I want you to understand that as much as I am not a fan of Beezer, he is still a part of you. It’s not a part of you that I like very much, but he is still a part of you. But he’s a part of you that doesn’t understand how much you need me.

^Sighing softly, I just looked at my hands for a second. There was still a lot I needed to say.There was a lot that we needed to discuss, and I still wasn’t entirely sure how to go about it. I guess the only way to do it was to just tell him everything. I needed to explain why all of this hurt. Regardless of how much I understood. I needed to tell him in a logical and not necessarily emotional way.^

I understand that everyone needs you. I know that you’re the driving force in protecting everyone. And that’s something that makes me love you even more. But while you’re giving everyone else a part of you, I’m being left behind. And I understand that this is the one thing that needs to happen. You need to be able to protect me in the best way possible. But I don’t want your protection to come at the cost of our relationship. We need each other, Malachi. Don’t spread yourself so thin that you’re sacrificing us to keep everyone safe.

Malachi: I need you, Angel. And I’m used to sacrificing myself to keep other people safe, but you’re right. Can we just have each other for awhile? Like it used to be before all of this hit us like a freight train? -I curled into her, burying my face in her hair and just getting lost in the scent of her. Other than the nights when we were curled up in bed together, there were very few moments where we got to exist with just the two of us. I’d almost forgotten how much I missed this after I’d pushed it down so far that I didn’t notice it or need to feel it when I was working on everything. But here she was curled into my arms. I needed this, even if I hadn’t realized it. I needed her, and I knew it. I always had.

I didn’t want to take any more of the time we had together with wallowing in what was going on around us. That was going to come intruding in before we wanted it to. It always did. Who knew how much time we had left to just be the two of us.

My hands moved to run around the curve of her stomach, and I kept my face in her neck. I wanted to be lost in her for as long as I could steal away from everything else.-

Aurora: ^I couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across my face as Mal let his hands run over my stomach. This was the other thing I had been missing. But it wasn’t something I was going to harp on him about. It had been hard enough telling him that I missed him. I didn’t want to tell him that Dinah had missed him just as much. All of this was hard. But we both needed this. We needed to just be with each other.

I couldn’t stop myself from pressing my lips against his. I needed to feel him. I needed to bathe myself in affection from him. I needed to know that this was okay. That it was okay for me to love him. I wanted to just put my emotions out there. And it wasn’t even so much that I wanted to feel this. I needed to feel this. I needed this to be okay. And with my pregnant belly, I couldn’t get as close to him as I wanted.^

We love you. I adore you. I have always adored you. There is no one I would ever want to spend my life with. Even if you were insane, Mal. I loved you before Colette helped with the voices. I’ll love you even if you decide you want to take over any of the packs we end up destroying. Which should only be the Haydens and St. Pierre’s.

Malachi: -I listened to what she was telling me, but the last bit had me shaking my head with a laugh. The last thing I wanted was to take over any of these packs. The day to day running of things was going to leave me in that mindset that she hated so much all day long, only being able to relax once I was home with her. What I really wanted was a quiet life with my wife and my daughter out in the middle of nowhere where we could just be a family. I could run the gym and take care of her and just be happy like we were when we first met and wound up together, just with the addition of Dinah-

I adore you, too, both of you, and lucky for all of us, I’m mostly sane. I just want the two of you, nothing more and nothing less. I don’t want to run anything other than a nice shower at the end of the day and have you join me in it. -I let out a soft chuckle remembering the day we’d met each other. I would have loved to go back to those days when it didn’t feel like we were waiting on the other shoe to drop, and if things went as planned we were going to have those days back again. I wasn’t going to tarnish them with trying to get into wolf politics or running anything. I’d leave that to people who were better suited to it than me.

It was nice just to sit out here and talk to her. I hadn’t realized how long it had been since just the two of us had had a real conversation, and it didn’t matter what about. Stealing kisses in between sentences was just a bonus. Maybe it would have looked weird to anyone who wandered up on us to find us sitting out in the middle of the woods talking, but I really didn’t give a damn what anyone else thought. I was out here with my wife.

I just didn’t know that we were enjoying literally the last few minutes we had before all of this came crashing down. Whenever I shifted, my senses would be heightened for a few hours afterward. I could scent things on the breeze and hear a lot better than I ought to until I slept it off. Which was why I was able to hear the sound of footsteps moving through the woods only just a moment before I scented them on the woods.

It had been years since I’d smelled that particular scent, but I knew it immediately and it had my hackles up. This was it, and of course it would have come right now, the moment when I finally stole some time away with my wife, when she needed me. She could have Dinah at any moment. Doc had been hovering around like a mother hen for a reason. Everything was hitting all at once, and it was all hitting right now.

I moved to my feet, bringing Rora with me. I didn’t know if she’d smelled and heard what I did, but I knew she needed to head back to the treehouse right now and send out the others. They didn’t know we were aware of their presence yet. It gave us a little bit of the upper hand since they were expecting to be able to get in a surprise attack. I made sure Rora was looking square in my eyes before I started speaking-

They’re here. Go back to the house, and send the rest of them out here. And please just stay put. I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to either of you…

-My words trailed off and the look of my eyes was pleading. I wasn’t trying to order her around. I just needed her to go. I needed her to know how important this was, and no matter what happened to any of the rest of the inhabitants of this house, I needed her to take care of herself and Dinah. Those were the only two of them I wasn’t going to be able to live without.-

Rora: ^I didn’t hesitate. I couldn’t. Not with this. I felt myself almost explode into a wolf before I started taking off towards the house. It felt like almost no time had passed before I was shifting back and running up the stairs to the kitchen. I stopped for a second before trying to take a couple of breaths. I knew what was happening. And I knew I needed to let them know as fast as possible.

I knew better than to howl as I was coming up. I didn’t want to be tracked. But inside of the Treehouse? There was no stopping me from screaming for someone. My voice cracked as I let out a yell I was sure to be heard from ever inch of the Treehouse.^ LEAH! LOGAN!

^It seemed like two names was all that was needed before everyone was rushing into the kitchen. But it was Amiee that put the pieces together. The soft “they’re here” was a statement and not a question. Leah didn’t even wait before she was out the door and jumping off the stairs. She didn’t hesitate before shifting. Logan, Amee, and Tatiana weren’t far behind her.^

Logan: [I didn’t blame Leah for bolting the way that she did. The moment Rora came into the house and started screaming for Leah and I, we knew something was wrong. There was no denying it. But this was something Leah and I had discussed at lengths with Beezer. We needed a plan on how to fight and how to hide Tats.

As soon as my wife was out of view, I could only turn to Tatiana with an expectant expression. This was what we had trained for. We needed to do this the right way.] You stay out of their view. They don’t know about you. They don’t know about your size. Don’t make yourself known until you have eyes on Zeke. You know what you’re looking for. The moment he’s distracted or tries to take a step towards Beezer, you take him down. Don’t eliminate him. Beezer wants him alive.

[I almost wasn’t sure what was happening when Tatiana shifted. But she dropped to her stomach with an expectant growl. This wasn’t something we had talked about, but I knew what she wanted. I knew what she was trying to tell us. Grabbing Amiee by the hips, I didn’t hesitate before I put her on Tatiana’s back. We, as humans, were slower than the wolves. But Tats was giving us the chance to catch up.

I was on her back as soon as Amiee was settled. Tatiana didn’t hesitate to run as though the world was ending. And, in a way, it was. She wanted everyone on a level playing field. She wanted the chance to survive this. It felt like a blink before we were getting off the wolf. But we knew it was necessary. We were going to have to run the last few yards. Looking at Amiee, I nodded my head before the storm clouds started to roll in. She wasn’t going to be the most vital person in this fight, but she could give us cover.]

Leah: *The minute I knew what was going on I was out the door and off the porch. I needed to get out there and make sure everything was going down like it was supposed to and that none of this was going to hit a hiccup. From the speed that Aurora came into the house with and the fact that she’d done it silently, I was guessing that they didn’t know that we knew they were here. But Amos wasn’t stupid. He was going to count on the fact that we had more than one wolf out here who could scent them all if they happened to be outside. He just didn’t know that we already figured out he was coming after us.

I was hoping he hadn’t counted on Colette or Logan or Amiee, though he wouldn’t have put it past me to have witches around the house. After all, it was something he’d been doing himself for years. But Tatiana was something else, something I don’t think anyone could have seen coming unless they knew her.

I followed the line of scent that told me where Aurora had come from until I reached the clearing where she’d originally shifted. I could sense the change in the scent that told me she and Beezer had been here as humans not long before. That meant Beezer wasn’t going to be far off, and that’s when it hit me. I knew exactly what he scented.

Wolves, more than one of them. They were off in the distance in the trees around the house.  I was pretty certain they couldn’t find the house unless one of us lead them back to it. The ward that had been put in place kept it hidden for the most part. It wasn’t impossible to find, but it was difficult. So they were circling the place trying to find us. That was exactly what I would have done in their situation.

The wolf was antsy. She wanted to run off after them, but I wasn’t so certain that was the best course of action to take. We had the element of surprise, and I had my target exactly in mind. Beezer was going after Amos of course, Tati was going to take out Zeke, and Cyrus was going to be all mine. I just had to make sure I hit him in just the right manner.

I wasn’t certain I was going to be able to pick out his scent after all this time, but my wolf was. That wasn’t something she was ever going to forget. Being chained and caged and nearly murdered had been imprinted on her mind as much as anything else ever had. He was in the woods, not too far from here, but he wasn’t alone. I could tell that right away. They were in a group, and we were going to have to figure out how to draw them apart. -

Malachi: -I’d shifted as soon as Rora had run out of the clearing. She was silent, and for that I was thankful. We needed to keep the advantage as long as we could, because in all honesty we were a bit outnumbered. There were more wolves on my father’s side than ours, that much was a given. The strategy here was to divide them, to split them up. Right now, they were grouped together.

I’d gotten closer, but the black wolf knew how to stay downwind of his prey and stalk them like any good predator should. In his mind, they were now prey to be taken down. The sound of them in the not too distant woods was loud and clear. They weren’t trying to keep quiet exactly, though they weren’t being loud. However, it was all a signal to him -- the scents, the sounds and the glimpses of them I could get through the gaps in the trees. He was going to split them up, and he knew exactly how to do it.

Stalking closer, he growled as soon as he was close enough for the back of the pack to hear him and ran off, making just enough noise to attract their attention and draw them away from the group. It was easy enough when you knew these woods to loop back and repeat the process in an entirely different direction. Before long, they were starting to scatter all around the woods and leaving the pack to dwindle down one at a time until only two of them remained, Amos and Zeke.-

Tatiana: *Once Amiee and Logan were off of her, she knew what she had to do. She was familiar with the scents of those she was around. She knew Beezer, Leah, Logan, and Amiee. Those were the only people she needed to be concerned with.

I had learned a lot from Beezer in the last few weeks. She knew what she needed to do, and I wasn’t going to hold her back. Pulling around the back, I could tell she was smelling the groups of unfamiliar wolves. It was easier to pick the ones off that were trailing behind. A quick bite to the back to the neck and a turn of the head and they were no longer a concern. She didn’t stop to check if they were alive or dead. But I couldn’t stop her as soon as she saw a wolf going for Beezer.

It was exactly as Beezer had warned. The one on the left had started to circle him. As soon as he lunged, she struck. It was the same way Leah had taken her down when she turned on Beezer. She dropped her head, and the force of her shoulder took him to the ground. She didn’t stop the growl that slid out as she pressed her teeth into his shoulder.*

Beezer: -I hadn’t known if the wolf was going to let me remember anything that happened today. That was entirely his choice. He could blank me out completely or give me that window that let me watch everything that happened. I could only hope that he was at least going to give me something to hold on to while all of this was going on. I didn’t think I could handle not knowing how all of this had come out or if my wife and daughter were alright until I came out of this. Mercifully, he’d let me sit just at the back of things and watch as he led the members of the St. Pierre pack off one by one. When it only Amos and Zeke remained, the two of them realized I was there simultaneously.

They circled me, using the tactics I’d been taught myself long before I’d left to come here. I was bigger than either of them, and they knew it. They also knew that I knew exactly how to take them down individually. They were relying on the fact that they were together and that I was outnumbered.

That was the moment that Tatiana came barreling out of the woods. I’d heard her and Leah, picking off the wolves that I led off into the trees one at a time. Tatiana was much better at it than she’d given herself credit for, and Leah had kept it up until I pulled Cyrus away from the group. I knew she was out for blood with him, and I only hoped the she could pull it off.

Tatiana now had my oldest brother pinned by the neck at the edge of the clearing. She’d done it magnificently, her teeth slid from his shoulder to his throat, throwing him to the ground before either of them realized what was happening. She was huge, and I could see the fear in both their eyes when she seemed to appear half out of nowhere. It was exactly what we’d planned all this time.

That only left Amos and me in the center of the clearing, the two of us circling each other warily, with our eyes locked. I was keeping my distance on purpose because I was waiting on something. A few days ago, I’d pulled Logan to the side after one of the training sessions that seemed to be all we were up to lately and asked a little favor. I didn’t intend on finishing off any of this until he was able to get it started if I was able to. I had a lot of shit to say to Amos St. Pierre, but I didn’t trust him enough to turn back into a human anywhere around him, so I needed another way to let him know exactly what I needed to say.-

Logan: [I saw the hesitation in Beezer. It was the one thing I had been looking for. This was the one thing I had to do before I could take another step towards my wife. There was no fucking way I was letting her handle that asshole on her own. But I had agreed to give this to Beezer. I understood what he wanted. And I knew why he needed it.

The words were soft, and not for anyone to hear. It was something that was going to give Beezer an upper hand if he used it properly.] Papa san an, pi piti pitit gason. Lide nan yon sèl. Youn fòs, feblès papa a.

[Repeating the words once more, I felt Beezer’s blood connect with the spell. I was positive it had worked, and I didn’t give it a second thought as I went to find my wife. I had to figure out the best way to help her, and the only way to do that was to find her fight.]

Beezer: -I knew the moment the spell hit that it was working. I could feel the change wash over me when my mind linked with Amos’s, and I could see the shock wash over his eyes even in his wolf form. I let myself forget about Tatiana and my brother a few yards away and kept my focus on the wolf in front of me.

His coat was going white, especially around the muzzle, though he’d always been so much lighter than I was. None of us ever knew why I was as black as midnight when the rest of my family was gray. It didn’t matter, but it was something Aurora and I had always had in common. We were nothing like the families that we’d thought we’d been a part of as children.

I could sense the confusion on the other end of the connection between the two of us. I intended to use that to my advantage.-

It’s been a long time, Amos…

-There was no way I was going to call him Dad after all this time. I wasn’t going to give him the pleasure. He might have been my father, but he’d never been a father to me. He may as well have been a complete stranger. His voice in my head was the same one I’d known all those years, though.

“Well, well, Beezer St. Pierre. It certainly has been a long time.”

I fought the urge to laugh, though the wolf let off a gentle cuff as he circled around the other in the clearing.-

I haven’t been a St. Pierre for a long damned time. You and I both know that. Maybe that’s why I changed my name to Wheeler after Aurora and I got married. And don’t act like that surprises you. I know you know about Aurora. I know her brother is here. I just don’t think you know all the details, like how she’s pregnant with my daughter, who is getting named after my mother by the way. Dinah Colette Wheeler, I think it’s got a nice ring to it.

-I waited for a moment to let all of that sink in. I may have told him more than I let on in the revealing of things. My mother’s name was one I knew well, but Colette was something I shouldn’t have known about. He was shaken, but he tried to act nonchalant.

“Colette. That old witch. Don’t tell me you drug her up from whatever hole in the ground she crawled into.  And what about Leah? I’m sure that bitch is around here somewhere getting her throat torn out by now.”

I took a step closer. This part of the conversation was drawing to an end, but I wasn’t going to let him know it until I had to.-

Oh, you know her. I’m sure she’s giving Cy a run for his money right now. She does have some beef with him after all. Though, I do have to thank her husband for this little gift he’s given the two of us. I’m just not sure you’re enjoying this as much as I am.

-Another step closer, keeping him distracted with updates about some of his least favorite people on earth was doing the trick. He didn’t seem to notice how much closer I was drawing with each passing moment.

“Husband? Oh, please do tell me she’s gone off and married some random warlock from god only knows where. I’d love to see what kind of loser gave her more than five minutes of his time. I’m sure he’s a pleasure. I’ll have to thank him for the chance to learn what became of all of you since you’ve been skulking around the woods in the middle of nowhere all these years. It’s been a lot of fun catching up but…”

I didn’t give him a chance to finish. He was good at bluffing, but I knew all his tells. I’d grown up knowing them since I was old enough to walk. It was survival for me. I needed to know when he meant what he said and when he was covering for something, and right now, he was covering because he was scared. He gave it away in the way he flinched when I said Colette’s name and the step backwards he’d taken when I mentioned Leah and the fact that she was married. He’d expected me to fall to pieces without him. He’d expected that curse Delilah had left me with to be the end of me. I’d known that was the purpose from the beginning. I was just going to be the one to finish the job he had started.

Instead, I was standing in front of him, close enough to pounce and start the fight I’d been waiting for have for far too long. I needed to take him down and hard. This was going to be the end of it all and it came down to the two of us in the middle of this clearing. I owed him for a lot of things -- for what he’d done to me, for what he’d done to my mother, for what he’d tried to do to Leah and Colette, and what he planned to do to Aurora and Dinah if he got the chance. I was going straight for his throat.-

Aurora: ^It felt like I wasn’t catching my breath. There was so much going on around me, and there was a lot to take in. One second I was in the woods with Mal just trying to figure out when I was going to have my husband back, and now I was here while he was out risking his life for me. It was a lot to take in. But I couldn’t let the fear get to me. I couldn’t let Josh or Doc know how much this was bothering me.

But it was a small breeze that brought fear to my spine. We weren’t the only ones in the treehouse. My eyes shut as I greeted the man that had somehow found what he was looking for.^ You gave me enough time to fall in love, get married, have my husband destroy our family, and get pregnant before you finally found me. Father would have been so disappointed, Der. Then again, he’s dead. So there’s no one to be disappointed in you.

^As my eyes opened, I was greeted by not just my brother. There was a girl standing next to him with bright red hair and green eyes. Her lips were quirked in what I could only describe as a vicious smile. She knew she was here to cause problems. And it was almost immediate that it clicked in my head who she was.^ For real, Der? Hooking up with a bitch that likes to cast spells that have loopholes? And here I thought you were better than that.

^I felt her trying to cast some sort of spell. And I almost wanted to laugh. But again, she wouldn’t have known about the warlock we had in our back pocket. I hated referring to Logan like that, but the truth was that he had helped in more ways than one. The screech that filled the house was almost deafening.

“I’m supposed to be the only witch in his life. That baby should be mine! He was engaged to me first! Beezer St. Pierre is my husband, not yours.”

I could only blink at the psychotic woman standing in front of me. There was so much wrong with that sentence. And the first thing was about Beezer St. Pierre. Because for as long as I had known him, he had never been Beezer.^

If he was always supposed to be yours, what’s his first name? Middle name? His last name? None of what you said is right, by the way. His name has never been Beezer St. Pierre. I mean, yeah. He is a St. Pierre. But that’s just because of his father’s last name. He’s not an actual St. Pierre.

^I wasn’t going to focus on the baby comment for now. I wanted to see her lose her mind. I needed to know if she knew the answers to the questions. And, of course, she didn’t. She had never been in the relationship for him. It was power. More power than she had.^ I didn’t think you knew the answer to that question. That’s the difference between the two of us. I can tell you everything about the man I married.

^I turned my attention to the man standing next to her. He was almost stunned at what was happening. I couldn’t help the small laugh that slipped from my lips as he just stared at Delilah.^ You think she loves you, Derrick?I had hoped you knew better. But apparently you’re blind. Delilah is in love with power. She wants the St. Pierre name more than anything. And the only person available to give her that name is her beloved Beezer. A man that doesn’t even exist anymore.

^Derrick was floundering for a response, but he couldn’t come up with one. He knew I was right about her. And she had stopped caring about my brother the moment she walked into the house. Her voice was sickly sweet as she took another step closer.

“I can make him come back, Wolf. I can get my Beezer back. All I need to do is kill you. Of course, I won’t kill the baby inside of you. I may not want to be a mother, but I won’t deny him the option of being a father to the bitch pup that will need a new mother.”

I couldn’t think. Everything around me froze, and a red haze filled my vision as I got lost in the rage filling me.^

Leah: *I’d been staying around the perimeter of the fight, waiting and watching for a chance to take out the one person I was looking for. It was easy enough to pick off one or two of the other wolves when the spread out from the group. Beez made sure that we were able to take them on one at a time instead of en masse. It was when I was at my best and could use my speed to my advantage.

It was only when I saw the one wolf I was looking for that I slowed down even a little bit. I would have recognized the pale gray of his fur anywhere. I saw it my dreams when I woke up in a cold sweat at night sometimes, even now. I owed him all of this maybe even more. It was hard to say what would have happened if Beezer hadn’t come and pulled me out of that cage I’d been chained to, but I wouldn’t have been here to do this. I would have been lucky to have been dead if they still had me.

There was honestly no telling how many other people that had happened to. Those cages weren’t new, and they knew way too much about what they’d been doing for this to be the first time. It wasn’t something I liked to think about, but it had been years since I’d been around any of the St. Pierre’s. Being this close brought it all flooding back. Beezer wasn’t one of them. He never had been, not since the day I’d met him. It was the only reason I could trust him now.

The one I knew I couldn’t trust was in a clearing on the other side of a few trees. I had him scented down and was making a beeline for that direction without really caring whether or not he knew I was on the way. Maybe that was a mistake, but I was beyond giving a damn about all of it. I had business to take care of and Cyrus St. Pierre was it. I could hear the sounds of fights going on all around various corners of the forest around us, but they were easy to tune out as soon as I emerged into the clearing I was aiming for.

He was there waiting, just like I knew he would be. The wolf was poised ready to pounce on the other side of the clearing from where I’d emerged from the trees. He’d known I was coming. That much was clear. He was bigger than me, nearly as big as Beezer, but not quite. I needed to keep my wits about here, but the blinding anger that roared through me made that kind of difficult. All I really wanted to do was to bury my teeth in his throat and rip a new hole in him.

He came for me before I came for him, but I waited until he was almost on top of me before I jumped, landing on his back and biting down hard just above his shoulder with a low snarl. He rolled at that instant, howling out while his full weight landed on me, stealing my breath and giving him just long enough to regain his footing before I could find enough air to scramble back to my own feet.

We circled each other, the growls echoing off the treeline, until he came for me again. This time, he was the one who tried to pounce while I rolled under him, knocking his feet out from under him so that he landed on his back. It gave me a chance to go straight for his throat again. He was able to deflect me so my teeth found the opposite shoulder, striking a long red gash against the gray of his fur before he knocked me over. I was too small to withstand the force of the blow, but I could use the momentum of it to get me far enough away from him to get back to my feet.

This time, he was able to regroup before I was. I could only brace myself when he slammed full force into my side and I was sent sprawling into a tree. I struggled to get back up, but my head had hit the tree pretty hard. I was going down and there wasn’t anything I could do to stop myself as the world began to fade to black.*

Logan: [I could feel her growing weaker. The fight she was in had to have been against Cyrus. It was the only wolf she would put everything into. But it was what happened when I got to the tree line that made me scared. I could only watch as the bigger grey wolf threw the small russet wolf off of him and into the trees surrounding them. I felt her fighting for consciousness. It was a plus to why we tied ourselves together. But this fucking terrified me.

I didn’t run to her. God knows I wanted to, but there was a more pressing matter to deal with. The wolf that had started stalking towards my wife’s limp body. Before he got too close, I felt the spell slipping from my lips. Every muscle froze. And he wasn’t going anywhere. It was what I wanted. I wanted him to stay put while I broke him down.

It wasn’t going to be a fight. Cyrus wasn’t going to get near me. But I could get close to him. And with each step, his growl got louder. But I put myself between him and Leah. I needed him to see everything I did.] Nice try, asshole. Trust me on this. She won’t be down for long. But you won’t be alive long enough to see her bounce back.

[I was bluffing. I could feel the way Leah was struggling to hold on, and it just made my fury worse. I hadn’t been taught to use this side of the magic, but I was going to do everything to protect the woman I had been in love with. She meant everything to me. And no one else mattered.

I flicked my wrist as I whispered the words before I heard the bone in his front legs break. But the magic wouldn’t let him fall. I wouldn’t give him that kind of release. He needed to fed every inch of pain I was giving him.

From there, I didn’t stop. Breaking the bones in his hind legs before releasing his muscles. It accomplished what I wanted. He was on the ground due to the pain rolling through him.] I know about the cage, Cyrus. I know that the plan was to either kill her completely or beat her into submission. But the thing you never counted on was how strong her will to survive was.

[My eyes stayed on the wolf in front of me as he tried to get to his feet. But it wasn’t going to happen. Another flick of my wrist, and his back was broken. He wasn’t dead. I wasn’t ready for that. I wanted him to hear every last word before I finally killed him.] You and your father made a mistake in coming for revenge. Beezer has more to live for now. A wife and daughter on the way. It wouldn’t surprise me if your father was dead already. But you fucked with Leah. You tried to break her.

[I let myself start to slowly circle the wolf laying on the ground in front of me. There was still so much I wanted to say to him. And as he let out another growl, I could only smile.] I know what you wanted to use her for. She was just a gene pool for you. You wanted to be the first, though. Didn’t you, Cy? You wanted to be the one to fuck her. You wanted to be the one who made her pregnant.

[As I came back around to his head, I let myself kneel down so I could look Cyrus in the eye. He was going to hear this last statement if it was the last thing I said.] You’d have enjoyed her pussy, too. When she’s excited, she gets so fucking wet. It’s unlike anything I have ever felt. And the way she tastes when she’s cumming? Nothing is sweeter than her. And fuck if my girl doesn’t scream when she cums.

[I smiled as Cyrus let out another growl. But Leah was getting weaker. And I knew my work was done. Turning my bag on the paralyzed wolf, I let the words flow from my lips. The spell that constricted his airway. It wasn’t going to be a painless death. I wasn’t going to allow that.

I couldn’t concern myself with him, though. Sometime during my chat with Cyrus, Leah had shifted back into a human. I didn’t touch her because I didn’t want to do more damage, but I could only curl myself up next to my wife as I tried to think of every spell I could. I wasn’t ready to lose her, and I was terrified that’s that was the road we were now walking.]

Aurora: ^The Wolf wasn’t letting me see anything. She wasn’t letting me experience anything. And I started to get scared. I didn’t know what was happening. And all I could do was feel things. I felt her emotions. Pure rage. No one was going after her pup. That baby belonged to her. And it was good to know that she was going to be a mother to Dinah.

The next thing I felt was pride. She had done something. Something that made her happy. But she wasn’t letting me know what that something was. I felt her go outside and down the stairs. I couldn’t stop pleading with her, though. This was not part of the plan. She was not supposed to go out into the woods. She was not supposed to go looking for a fight.

But I knew what she was looking for. I felt her pick up the scent for her mate. The black wolf that had the ability to control my husband. She wanted him to be proud of her. She wanted him to see what she had done. She wanted to be congratulated.

She let out a growl whenever anyone looked at her. She was daring them to come close. But her growl was muffled by whatever was in her mouth. And at that point, I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what had happened.

The realization was startling. She had learned this trick from Mal’s wolf. She was protecting me from something. Something she didn’t want me to know about. It made the fear and panic come back tenfold. But with each step closer to the battle, I could feel her anxiety rising. She wasn’t sure what she was going to find. And it was the first time she thought about what she was doing. But it was too late to turn back. She had to find her Shadow.^

Mal: -My father might have been old, but he’d spent all his life fighting for position in the pack. He’d needed to keep in good shape to maintain that, even with my brothers in his ranks. However, there was something a bit excessive in how strong he actually was.  

This wasn’t the first time we’d fought. My father and I had sparred when we were both much younger. It was part of the training and both of my brothers had received. We needed to be ready to fight at a moment’s notice. But I wasn’t as experienced then. I wasn’t as strong as I had become in the meantime. He and I had been fairly evenly matched back then; it didn’t stand to reason that he would be old enough to have grandchildren and would still be able to hold his own against a wolf that was larger than he was.

I suspected that Delilah or one of her family had something to do with this. I hadn’t seen her anywhere around, but he’d been so keen on working with a witch and using their power to his advantage. I wouldn’t have put it past him to have something going on. It was smart, and it was exactly what he would have done. So, I needed to keep my wits about me. I had to stay on my toes and not rely on my strength to win this fight. Strength wasn’t an advantage when your opponent was just as strong.

We rolled in a knot of legs, fur and teeth until my wolf pulled away, teeth bared and snarling. The two wolves circled each other for a moment, before the black wolf dove back in, digging his teeth into the ribs of the older wolf. It was in that moment that I realized something had changed drastically.

I heard one of his ribs snap under the wolf’s teeth. The howl that he let out was long and deafening, but it was also a sign that he knew the tides of the battle had changed. I didn’t know what I had to thank for that change. It could have been one of the witches on our side doing some kind of magic we hadn’t discussed, but it could have also meant that something had happened to whatever witch had cast the spell on him. I wasn’t sure which, and to be honest, either outcome was fine with me.

His strength was gone. Gone to the point that I wasn’t sure it had ever been real to begin with. He backed away, and I saw him eyeing the treeline. He was planning to run, but the black wolf was having none of that. He dashed in, taking advantage of the momentary lapse in my father’s attention to catch him off guard. It worked, and the older wolf was off his feet in an instant.

The black wolf was anything but dramatic. He was all about business with this, and he didn’t waste a moment in getting his teeth around the other wolf’s throat, digging in until he could taste the coppery blood flowing across his tongue and the life flowing out of him. He took his time doing it, but he was certain this was the end of the fight. There wasn’t any coming back from this. This was the kind of thing he’d have normally blacked me out from experiencing. I didn’t recall ever being aware of when he’d killed anyone. I was always at the periphery of things then or just completely gone. This time, he let me in on it all. It was the only time I’d have been a hundred percent on board with someone dying, no matter how much they might have deserved it. But this time, I was protecting my wife and my daughter from ever needing to be afraid of their own blood ever again.

He held on, despite the weakening struggle from my father, and didn’t let go until he heard a sound in the clearing behind him. He whipped around, half ready to pounce on whoever it was until the sight and scent hit him all at once. That was the last person I expected to see out in the woods right now.  My wife, or at least her wolf was there, pure white coat streaked with blood. It took a moment to register that the blood wasn’t hers, but instead, belonged to the body that she was dragging by the throat into the clearing.

She’d shifted, which meant that someone had found her and she’d needed to protect herself. I immediately felt guilty about that, but who had done it? The body there was mangled and covered in debris from being dragged through the woods, but one look at the tangled matt of red hair told me exactly who that was, Delilah. Delilah had been here, and she’d found my wife. I was seeing red at all of that. But here was Aurora, or at least her wolf, with the body in tow. I needed to figure out exactly what had happened here.

The black wolf didn’t fight me when I pushed to take control back. He willingly let go and allowed me to shift back into human form, my body twisting and contorting back into Malachi as I took a single step forward. I’d expected Aurora to join me, but she didn’t. The white wolf was still there, streaked in blood and clinging to the throat of the dead woman she’d dragged into the clearing. She’d saved my life, but I didn’t think she’d realized it.-

Aurora? -I took a step forward, holding my hand out to the wolf. I wasn’t scared of her. Aurora’s wolf was just as attached to me as I was to her. She wouldn’t have ever hurt me, but my wife wasn’t there behind those eyes like I was used to. I knew what was going on, but I wasn’t sure how to help her out of this, or how Aurora was going to react when she realized what had happened. I needed all the help I could get here, now that I was pretty certain the battle was over.

I glanced behind me where Tati was holding Zeke pinned by the neck to the ground and yelled over to her. - Tatiana? I need Logan and maybe Doc if you can find him, please? -I was scared, but trying not to let it show in my voice as long as Zeke was around.- Let Zeke go. I think I and Aurora can handle him now that Amos is dead.

-I heard Tatiana leaving and watched Zeke scramble to his feet before shifting back into a human. My voice was low and half a growl as I glared at him- Don’t you fucking move a muscle. You’re not getting anywhere. These woods are full of wolves and witches and not a single fucking one of them wants you alive right now. Your best bet is to stay put, and maybe if you listen I’ll let you live.

-I turned my attention back to the white wolf in front of me, reaching down to run a flattened palm between her ears gently- Look at you, Pretty Girl. You killed that bitch and protected all the rest of us. You saved my life and the pup. I hope you know that. I wouldn’t have won this fight without you. -She was ready for the praise. She’d come through the woods looking for me or my wolf. I’d known that the moment she stopped and waited for me. It was exactly what my wolf would have done in the same situation. He would have wanted his mate to know. I wanted her to know how much she’d done for all of us.-

Tati:  *I didn’t wait for another word from Beezer before I was off. I quickly picked up Logan’s scent, and started in that direction. But it was a different witch that caught my attention. Walking over, I gently nudged Amiee with my nose. She gave a soft laugh before shaking her head.

“I’m fine, Tats. Nothing a few bandages won’t fix. Don’t worry about me.”

I let out a huff as she started towards the Treehouse. If she wasn’t concerned, I wasn’t going to be. So I let my wolf do her thing. She started back on Logan’s scent before she picked up Leah’s scent and another wolf’s. She wasn’t sure what she was walking up on, but it wasn’t what she expected.

There was a dead wolf in the middle of the field. Bigger than the one she had pinned to the ground earlier. But it was the two human bodies that got her attention.

Logan was wrapped around Leah. Something was wrong. But she didn’t investigate. All she did was turn around and start sprinting back to the house. She didn’t think of the consequences as she started to howl. It was the only way she knew to get his attention. As she came to a stop, the man she was howling for was standing there. She pointedly looked at him before dropping to her stomach. She didn’t know if he understood, but she needed him to get on her back so she could take him to Logan and Leah.*

Spencer: -I’d recognized Tati’s howl before I saw her. It had my heart in her throat until I reached her. I didn’t know if she was hurt. I didn’t know what was up with any of them, but I knew it was getting to the point I was going to be needed. I’d been listening to the battle that raged on around me in the woods since all of this had begun. I’d been stuck at the house, waiting, watching and getting ready for the aftermath. I was useless in a fight, especially against wolves. I was only human, and even on my best day, I wasn’t going to be able to take one of them on. All I could do was be ready to be of use back here in the house.

I had a bag of supplies in hand when I met Tati out in the yard of the house. The woods around the place were far more silent than they had been since all of this began. The birds weren’t even singing. It was eerie, but if they’d known what was good for them all, they’d run far from this place while the battle was going on. They’d be back sooner or later.

Tati’s wolf got down on her front haunches almost playfully, but the look on her face was anything but. This was serious. She needed me, and she needed me to get there fast. It took me one quick look to note that she was unmarked from whatever fight she’d been in so that meant something was wrong with the others. She could get me there a hell of a lot faster than I could get there on foot. I nodded and climbed onto her back as quickly as I could manage with my bag in tow.-

Alright, Tati. Just get me wherever they need me.

-She took off, moving quickly through the woods until we were in a clearing I’d never been to before. Leah and Logan were there, and a dead wolf in the center of the clearing. Logan was fine, but Leah was unconscious. It was a quick move to scramble over to her side.- What happened?

Logan: He tossed her into a tree. She hit her back and neck before she went out. Doc, I’ve been throwing every ounce of magic I know at her to get her back, but I’m getting nothing. I can barely feel her in my veins.

[Leah and I had never hidden what we had done in front of the others. It was just another part of who we were. We were bound by her imprinting and my magic. And everyone knew what would happen if one was lost. But I wasn’t ready to let my wife die. And I wasn’t ready to follow her. There was still so much I wanted to do with her here. I needed her to see Dinah be born. She loved that little girl. Dinah was Aunt Leah’s little princess.

I wasn’t going to let her go so easily. I kept reciting every spell I had in my head. With the two of us bonded like we were, I didn’t need to say the words out loud. The situation with Leah was different than the situation with Beezer.]

Tell me what to do, Doc. I need my wife to be okay. And you’re the only person in this fucking place that can help her as much as I can.

Aurora: ^It was then that she let me come back. I could see the recognition in Mal’s eyes. He knew that she was going to let me come back to him. I felt her place whatever had been in her mouth on the ground before I felt the world shift.

It felt like in no time that I was standing in front of my husband. We weren’t far from where we had been, but Mal had taken his fight with Amos to a different spot. One that didn’t belong to us. But as I looked around, I was confused. I knew Amos was dead. There was no two ways about that. But there was another man in the clearing almost shooting daggers at my husband through his eyes.

But it was what was at my feet that gave me the most pause. I knew the red hair. I knew the pale skin that was deadly white at this point. But I didn’t know what had happened.^ No! Tell me she didn’t! She’s hiding stuff from me, Malachi! I can’t remember what happened!

^I felt the panic more than I wanted to. And I knew I needed to calm down. But there was no way that was going to happen. Not when there was a dead body at my feet.^ What did I do?!

Mal: -I pulled my wife into my arms, taking her away from the body that was crumpled at her feet and the body of my father on the other side of the clearing. I kept my eyes on Zeke, though. I wasn’t going to have him running off before I got a chance to put some fear into him. He needed to know what was going on and where he stood in all of this. But first, I needed to get my wife to calm down.

I pressed a kiss to the crown of her head, keeping her in my arms while I talked to her, keeping my voice as calm as I could- It’s ok, Angel. She kept you safe, and she kept the baby safe. She just didn’t want you to have that on your conscience. I know. It’s scary. I’ve been there.

-I cupped Rora’s face in my hands pulling her gaze up to meet mine.- It’s alright. You’re alright. I’ve got you. Just breathe.

-I didn’t know what else to do. I needed her not to panic on me. I needed her to breathe. I needed her and the baby safe. The white wolf had made sure they were both safe, but I was terrified that not being able to remember what had happened was going to break Aurora.-

Rora: ^I had to trust Mal. He knew what was going on with Angel. He was used to be shut out by his wolf. I, however, was not. And it was terrifying that she would go to that extreme. But Mal’s words were an echo in my ear. She was protecting me. She was protecting the baby.

I felt my heart stop as I remembered the last thing Delilah had said before the wolf took over.^ She wanted to give you the opportunity to raise the bitch pup inside of me even if she had no desire to be a mom.

^Angel had eliminated the threat to Dinah. Dinah wasn’t just my and Mal’s child. It was as much hers and Shadow’s. She was just as protective over her as we were. But I still wasn’t calm about what happened. I wasn’t sure I was ever going to be okay with it. How was I supposed to handle being shut out of my own mind. It was terrifying to come out of it. But the snort from across the clearing made me growl. I felt Angel inside of me doing the same thing.

She didn’t like the man in the clearing. It didn’t matter that it was Mal’s older brother. She didn’t trust him. But I had to keep her on a leash. I wasn’t ready for her to come back out again.^ What the fuck does he think is so funny? You being a dad or the dead bitch trying to take my kid away? Because neither option is that funny to me, Dick head!

Mal: -I couldn’t stop the growl as I wheeled around on my brother, taking my attention away from Aurora for a moment. My vision was swimming with how close to surfacing my wolf was. I couldn’t keep the rage under control no matter how hard I tried when I heard that stupid laugh. He was an absolute moron if he thought I was going to tolerate that for even a moment. My eyes were blazing as I glared at him- If you have any idea what is good for you, you will keep every damned opinion you have to yourself right now. There is only one reason you’re alive. I hope you know that, and if you give me even the slightest reason to think you’re going to be more hassle than you’re worth, I’ll figure out another fucking plan that doesn’t require you to still be breathing.

That is my wife. And my child. There is nothing on the face of the Earth I’m more protective over. I’ve killed people for being less of a threat than you’ve been today. I hope you know that, and don’t forget it.

-My fingers itched to wrap around his throat. It was everything I could do not to kill him with my bare hands even in human form. But I needed him. If I was going to have the life I wanted with my wife and my daughter, I didn’t need to have to run a pack on top of that. A quiet life was my idea of heaven, not living in New Orleans and having to deal with the politics and drama that came with that life.

My brother let the amusement melt off his face as I approached him one step at a time. -

Now… I have a little proposition for you, and if you value your life, you’ll take it. I don’t like the idea of running that sorry excuse for a pack that your father has put together, but I’m also not going to leave an ungoverned pack of wolves running amok on my doorstep either. I made a similar deal with Aurora’s brother back in Wyoming when I finished off the rest of them there. You can run things there, but you’re going to hear from me if I hear a single damned thing I don’t like. And trust me when I say you don’t want to hear from me.

-The look on his face was quickly melting into something serious when I mentioned Aurora’s brothers back in Wyoming. I knew he’d had something to do with Derrick here, and I knew he would have an idea of what I was talking about. I was a little surprised when he opened his mouth.

“Then tell me I can kill that asshole Derrick first thing. I didn’t like him from the moment he set foot in our city, no matter what Dad thought of him.”

I wouldn’t have given him that permission without consulting Aurora first, but I didn’t get a chance to even consider an answer before I heard her voice from behind me.-

Aurora: There is no way in hell you are getting to kill Derrick. I get to decide what happens with him. He is my brother. He is the one that decided I needed to die. You may hate him for what he did with the St Pierre pack, but you can’t hate him too much. He gave you a reason to come looking for Malachi.

^The wolf inside of me couldn’t stop with the growling. She hated that there was someone alive that wanted to kill her mate. And that man was standing in front of us. All she could do was pace inside of me. She wanted to be let loose. She wanted nothing more than to destroy the man in front of her. He was a threat to her pup and her Shadow. And nothing would stop her from protecting them.

But it was the step forward I tried to take that made me scream. It felt like something was cramping up. But it was my stomach. Taking a breath, I tried to clear my head of the pain that was coming, but there was no use. The warm trickle of water down my leg ensured that I wasn’t going anywhere.

I knew my eyes were wide with panic as I turned my attention towards my husband. He knew what the fear meant. He knew what I was going to say before I said it. But part of me thought he was waiting for confirmation.^ You have to go find Doc. He needs to be in this clearing now. Dinah’s coming, and she’s not going to wait for anyone.

^I could see the war in his eyes, though. He knew what he needed to do. But he wasn’t sure about leaving me alone in a clearing with his brother. But I knew I had the one thing to keep Zeke from going crazy on me.^ I’ll be fine. Zeke’s not going to hurt me. I can promise that.

^I didn’t focus on my husband as he took off through the trees. But I knew that Zeke wasn’t entirely thrilled about staying here with me. But I did have the one thing he wanted. And I was absolutely prepared to bargain with it.^ All you have to do is stay in the clearing with me, Asshole. You stay here until Mal gets back, you can have my brother. Do whatever you want with him. I am not going through this shit alone. And if that means giving you my brother, you can go collect him from Colette when Malachi gets back. You have my word.

^My words were cut off as another contraction ripped through my body. I couldn’t stand there, though. Standing hurt more. I had to sit. The pain was making me lightheaded. I wasn’t sure how much longer I was going to be able to stand. Laying back against the ground, the only thing I could do was think of the irony. I was going to have my daughter in the same fucking field that her grandfather had died in while arranging the death of her uncle.^ This is psychotic. My child is deranged.

Mal: -I shifted and was gone the minute it hit me that Dinah was on her way. What a time for this kind of thing to hit, but at least I was on my toes. I could scent Tatiana and the doctor in the woods and they weren’t far off. Leah and Logan were there as well. They were all together or at least close to each other. I made a beeline for where the scent was taking me and found them all in another clearing, but it wasn’t what I expected. Leah was only half alive.  Logan was panicked. I could smell it on him.

I couldn’t blame him. I didn’t know what I would have been like if it had been Rora, and she and I weren’t tied in the same way that they were. It was literally life and death for the two of them. Doc was bent over her, but I needed him for Rora. I just didn’t know if he was going to be able to leave here to take care of her too. It was maddening to think he might be torn between here and there.

I needed to shift they needed to know what was going on. Tatiana was still in wolf form, pacing the edge of the clearing. It was only as I shifted that I noticed Cyrus, dead in a mangled heap in the center. I wasn’t sure what had happened to him, but it looked like an absolutely painful end. It was no more than what he deserved.-

Doc! Rora… she’s in labor. The baby is coming. -I didn’t know what else to say. It was the plain and simple truth. And I needed him in a hurry. I had no idea how fast this baby was coming.

My friend was on the ground, and I had no idea if she was going to make it. I could hear her heart fluttering weakly under her ribs. But it was weaker than I’d ever heard it. This was pretty damned serious. I just didn’t know what any of us was going to be able to do for her. Leah had been so excited about this baby. She was going to be an aunt. Now we all just needed to make sure the both of them and Aurora made it through this in one piece.-

Doc: -my attention shot up from Leah on the ground in front of me when I heard Beezer enter the clearing. There was nothing I knew to do for Leah. She was injured, but her body was healing. Broken bones knitted together quickly in a were. Her pack even more so. We’d learned that much early on when I’d gotten here. She healed more quickly than most all her life. It was one of the advantages she had over a lot of other wolves in a fight. For this injury to have knocked her out this cold, it had to be something serious. But even then, there was little I could do except check her neck and spine to see that they’d healed correctly and weren’t going to have to be rebroken and set. I had no idea how long she’d be out. At least, I knew Logan could get her back to the house safely. I glanced up at him as soon as Beezer opened his mouth to let us know that Rora was in labor- Logan, get her back to the house. Her back is healed enough to move her and the only thing we can do for her now is let her rest. Her body has to do the rest.

-I grabbed my bag and looked over to Tati, hoping she would help me out again.- We need to get to Aurora. Can you take me, Love? -I walked forward, running a hand between her ears flat against the back of her head, leaning in to whisper to the wolf- Thank you for helping me, Tati darling.

Tati: *For Spencer, she would do anything. Even before he started rubbing her head. He was the only thing that mattered to her. But she was torn. She knew it would be faster for Logan and Leah if she took them back to the house. But at the same time, trusting Beezer’s wolf was an issue.

She loved Beezer like an older brother. There was no doubt about that. But she wasn’t sure if she could trust the wolf to take care of her mate. And there was no telling if the black wolf would even let Spencer on him. Even if it was to take care of his mate.

But it was Logan’s head shake that solidified what I was doing. He was going to worry about Leah. And he wasn’t going to let her go. Even if it meant walking through the woods on his own. But still, the wolf wouldn’t let that happen. With a soft whine, I felt my wolf’s eyes narrow on Logan. She was giving him a warning. She wanted him to stay where he was. She was going to come back for him and Leah. There was no way she was letting the two of them walk through the woods unprotected. Not when Leah was already down.

I didn’t have to tell her to drop to her stomach again. She just did it and patiently waited for Spencer to be on her back. In a blink, she was following behind Beezer to a clearing. Another growl slipped through her lips seeing Zeke in human form, but it wasn’t something to think about. Spencer slid off of her back, and she watched as both Beezer and Spencer approached Aurora. This was the moment everyone had been waiting for. And of course, the little princess had to make her appearance at the most inopportune moment.

As Aurora let out another screech, my wolf backed out of the clearing. There was nothing there for her. She couldn’t help. But she could help Logan. The steps were the same as the ones she had just taken. But there was an urgency to them. There really wasn’t time to waste. Not when someone’s life was on the line.*

Logan: [I guess I wasn’t taking Leah back to the house. I understood it, though. Tatiana was concerned about us. She hadn’t been entirely on board with all of this, but she knew that we were all trying to protect each other. And I could only hope that she was trying to protect Leah.

As soon as Doc had given the okay, I had her in my arms. There was no way I wasn’t going to keep her as close to me as possible. I needed her to be with me. I had to feel her. I couldn’t just let her slip between my fingertips. I wasn’t ready to let her go. She wasn’t ready to go. It wasn’t her time. Not when Dinah was now on the way.

It was the only thing I could let run through my head. As focused as I was on the spells, I felt the words tumbling from my lips. It didn’t matter if she heard everyone else. What mattered was her paying attention to me. I couldn’t believe that she wasn’t hearing me.] You’re not allowed to die on me, Little Wolf. There is a little girl that is being born at this exact minute. You need to survive just so you can see that little Princess.

[It was the only thing I could think of to talk to her about. She had to know that there was more to this life. There was so much that she was missing. But I didn’t get the chance to say much more as Tatiana walked back into the clearing. She didn’t have Doc with her, but I realized that she wasn’t needed wherever Aurora was. And, at this point, I had no idea where Rora was. She was supposed to be back at the house, but something in my gut told me it wasn’t the case.

But I could only let out a grateful sigh as the wolf lowered herself down to the ground. There was so much I wanted to say to her. But I knew it was all pointless. I didn’t give anyone a moment to think before I had my Little Wolf in my arms and was carrying her to Tatiana. I wasn’t sure how anyone had fared during the fight, but I didn’t care. The person I was most concerned about was my wife. And she was in my arms.

The woods were a green and brown blur as Tats sped through the trees. The entire time I was focused on the woman in my arms and the words rolling through my head. To me, it didn’t matter what Doc said. I didn’t know when or if she was going to wake up. And while he felt she would, it wasn’t something that was certain. So I was powerless. And it was a feeling I didn’t like.

Once we were back at the Treehouse, I didn’t stop for anyone. Nothing inside could take me away from what I needed to do. And what I needed to do was get her upstairs and into our bed. I wanted her to be in the place she loved the most. I needed her to feel like she was protected. I wanted her to be in her own place. Even if I had no idea what was going to happen, I needed her to be protected.]

Mal: -I had no idea what I was doing here. There wasn’t a single child I’d ever seen being born. I was the youngest of three boys. My mother hadn’t even been pregnant while I was alive. I didn’t know what to do or what she needed but I was determined that I wasn’t going to leave her side unless I absolutely had to. Once Tati got Doc here, I shifted and stayed glued to her side.

I was worried once it became clear exactly how much pain she was in, but it came and went with her contractions in waves. There were moments it seemed like the pain was going to be too much to bear and then it would break and leave her panting and wrung out on the ground. I couldn’t help the guilt I had at being the reason she was in this much pain, even though it meant that we were going to have our daughter with us soon. I knew she was as ready for that as I was. Maybe even more so. But at this point, I wouldn’t have blamed her for punching me in the face.

All I could do to help was hold her hand while Doc fussed about making sure everything was coming along the way it was supposed to. He’s been there for the birth of more than a few babies. I wasn’t worried about him being able to make sure both my wife and my daughter made it through this safely. That didn’t mean it was guaranteed. Nothing in life was. We’d made it through so much already that it seemed like everything could come crashing down in a moment now.-

Doc: -Aurora wasn’t going through this process any more quickly than a human woman might have for all she was a werewolf. Shifter births were always unpredictable. Some were fast and hurried. Others took their sweet time. It was the fast ones that were the most dangerous. The fact that Dinah was being patient enough to wait until the contractions came close enough together to make into the world meant she wasn’t in a huge hurry to get here. That was a good sign. It meant that both Aurora and Dinah stood a better chance of making through all of this in one piece.

Her water had already broken when I’d gotten here which meant it was a little late to start trying to move her to the house. It also meant I had no clue exactly how much longer this whole process was going to take. Tatiana had gone back to help Logan get Leah to the house. I was glad they had the help I couldn’t give them. There wasn’t much I could do for her except wait. Here, I was needed and busy.

Soon enough, the contractions had built to the point where I could tell she was coming and fast. I could see the crown of her head with a tuft of dark hair, just like her mother’s and father’s. I looked up to Aurora with a reassuring glance-

I know this hurts, but I need you to listen to me. When the next contraction hits, you have to push. She’s ready and she’s coming. You just have to make it through the last little bit. Only a few more minutes.

-Those last few minutes were the worst — the scariest and the most painful, but neither Beezer nor I were going anywhere.-

We’ve got you. You can do this, Aurora.

Aurora: ^As soon as Mal and Doc were in the clearing, I just nodded my head at Zeke. His part of the deal was done. Him and Mal could talk everything over later. But I didn’t need him to be here when his niece was being born. If I even decided I wanted Zeke to have anything to do with her. It all depended on how he ran the New Orleans pack.

But as Doc told me I could do this, I shook my head. It wasn’t that I couldn’t do it I knew that I could. What I couldn’t do was have my daughter in a clearing with her father’s ex betrothed and her grandfather dead not even five feet away from us. There was no way I was going to bring her into the world like this. And I didn’t care what the two of them had to do to get me out of this situation.

My voice was a low growl as Mal came to kneel by my head.^ You either clear this area of the two dead bodies, or you move me. She’s not coming into the world like this. I refuse to let her be born around this kind of destruction.

^I could see him pause as I brought up the destruction. And I knew his mind went straight to his wolf. I could see the concern in his eyes. He wasn’t sure what the wolf thought of our daughter. And it wasn’t something I had ever asked him about. But I knew the truth. If Angel was protective over her, Shadow would be just as protective. It was his little girl, too.^ I’m not blaming our wolves, Malachi. They did what they had to do to protect our child. All of this was for her. I do not look at him like a monster. He protected us. And that makes me love him that much more. But you need to figure out a situation so that Dinah isn’t born next to your ex and her dead grandfather. I’m not kidding.

Mal: -She had a point. It was something I’d been too caught up in the moment to notice, but it wasn’t exactly the most ideal place to being our daughter into. Something was going to have to get done about it. I just had to decide what. It was far too late to consider moving Aurora. Dinah was coming here whether we liked it or not. But that didn’t mean that these two bodies needed to stay here.

What had happened needed to happen, but sitting around the evidence of it all was unnecessary. I leaned down and kissed my wife on the forehead- Give me a minute. I’ll get it fixed. -then leaving to drag the evidence of what had happened off Into the woods. That was better than both of them deserved, but it was what they were going to get. There was no one left to mourn my father anyway. I knew there was going to be no love lost between he and Zeke. My mother was the only one of us with a kind enough heart to care what had happened to him, and she was long gone, by his own hand. He’d dug his own grave. So had Delilah when she tied their destinies together.

It was only a moment before I got back to where I was really and truly needed right now. Grabbing my wife’s hand, I took my place back by her side-

Doc: -I hadn’t known what Aurora was waiting for until she’d spoken. It was going to happen sooner or later whether she liked it or not, but it was a relief that Beezer worked quickly to clear the clearing of the corpses. If Aurora didn’t want them here it was only going to hinder the progress of what was going on if we kept them here.

When he rejoined the two of us, I knit my brows together before checking on the progression of the baby-

Alright Aurora, push when you’re ready.

Aurora: ^I didn’t exactly want to push, but I knew the truth. There was no stopping it. And I was so ready to have Dinah be a part of our lives. I was ready for her to meet her Grandma Colette. She needed to be here for her Aunt Leah and Uncle Logan. It was absolutely time for Dinah Colette to grace us with her presence.

But I also knew that this was going to be the truly painful part. It was time for me to push a baby out of my body. And there was nothing I wanted more. I wanted her to come out with her Daddy holding me and supporting me. I wanted her to realize that this was our family. Everyone currently in the Treehouse was family.

I let out a loud groan as I started pushing. I could hear Malachi softly counting into my ear. And then there was Doc. I wasn’t sure I could do this without him. And I needed him to understand that. But now wasn’t going to be the time to tell him.

Mal started to rub my shoulders as I took a small break from pushing our child out. The last thing I needed was to put too much pressure on myself and Dinah. Or else she would never come out.

I didn’t wait for long before I was back to pushing. And the screams just kept getting louder with each push. This was not a pleasant experience, but it was something I’d have gone through a million times if it meant I had my daughter at the end of it.^

Doc: -This was the point at which a million things could have gone wrong. I needed to pay attention to everything that was going on with Aurora and the baby. Dinah was coming no matter what any of us did, but I needed to keep the both of them as safe as I possibly could. Everything was about timing, when to push, when to stop and let her breathe, when to finally pull the baby free. It took experience, patience, and a cool head. It was my job to be the cool head here while the parents completely lost their cool. That was exactly what they were supposed to do.

This was probably the most painful thing anyone ever did in their life, but Aurora was handling it like a champ as she breathed through a few pushes. A first baby always took longer than any subsequent births. Dinah was no exception to this rule. It was something every woman who had children went through, but it was usually the last thing they remembered after their long awaited baby finally arrived.

It wasn’t long before the final push came, and Dinah nearly fell into my arms. She immediately began crying, a strong, loud cry, without any help from me. She was strong, but that was no surprise considering who her parents were. I tugged off the sweatshirt I was wearing, pulling it over my head with one hand while cradling the baby in the other arm until I needed to free that arm from the sleeve. She needed to be wrapped in something. It was still early spring, and even if we were in the deep south, the air was crisp and cool. It had been a cold winter, leaving her out to the cold was the last thing a newborn baby needed.

I used the sleeve to clean her face, before passing her up to her mother who was only halfway upright due to the enormous man holding her up.- Well, I know this is no surprise, but it appears that you have a daughter.

Mal: -Doc handed the baby to Aurora first. That was exactly where she needed to be. All babies wanted their mothers, and I was determined that this little girl was going to get all the things I hadn’t gotten. She was going to keep her mother in her life as long as I could manage. I needed Aurora just as much as Dinah was going to. The two of them had become my whole world, even if I’d gotten distracted from it in the past few weeks. The core of it all was me trying to protect the two of them from everything that could come after them. I was determined that I was going to keep things safe however I could. But in the same token, I was going to be as much a part of both their lives as I could manage. That meant I was going to need to make sure someone else was running things in Casper and New Orleans. I made a mental note to make sure Zeke understood exactly what was at stake here, and that if I felt even a little insecure about things this close to my wife and daughter, he was going to pay the price for it.

For now I had the two of them in my arms, and I wasn’t going to let them go until I had to. I’d been supporting Aurora through all of this, and I didn’t intend to let her down now. My daughter looked remarkably like her mother, even only a few minutes after being born. It was kind of amazing, and I had to admit I was glad she looked so much like her. The two of them were pretty much a fucking miracle as far as I was concerned. The two things I never thought I was going to get had saved me more than they could ever know. -

Angel girl, you were amazing. I hope you never forget that.

-I pressed a kiss to her shoulder, keeping her pulled tight against my chest while I supported her weight and let her relax a little. I was going to need to get the both of them back to the house soon. I could handle that. Carrying the two of them wasn’t going to be hard at all. I just needed to give her a moment to rest before I tried any of that. I needed to make sure they were going to be alright.-

Aurora: ^This was where I wanted to be. I had a crying little girl in my arms and a husband who could only stare at the two of us. This was our family. Doc was there simply to check on how the two of us were doing. He wanted everything to be okay for us. And that's why I trusted him so much. This was something he loved doing. And now that things were smoother with Tatiana, I didn’t see them leaving.

Dinah was going to have more Aunts and Uncles than she knew what to do with. And that was because her father had built a family in this area. He had the siblings that he wanted. There was no one that lived here that he didn’t want to deal with. Once everything was squared away with the New Orleans Pack, I knew that Mal’s focus was going to be on the two of us. I trusted Trent to take care of the Casper pack.

But I knew I was going to have to talk Mal into going back up there. I didn’t want Dinah to have a strained relationship with her grandmother or her Uncle Trent. I wanted her to know the people that did actually love me unconditionally. And I knew there were more than a few benefits to a spur of the moment visit. It wouldn’t give any one time to prepare. And I needed the peace of mind that Trent was absolutely running things properly.

I also wanted to be the one to break the news about Derrick. They needed to know the truth. And it was a truth I wasn’t even ashamed of anymore. I had bargained with his life. Because his life was what kept me and Dinah safe. I wasn’t even sure what had happened to Zeke. I wasn’t sure if he had just taken Derrick from Colette and left, or if there was more to the story. And the truth was, I didn’t care. I was exhausted. And Doc looked more than a little antsy to get back to Tatiana.

Looking up to my husband, I gave him a tired smile. It seemed like he knew what I wanted before I even said it. I was wrapped up in his arms as he stood. The walk back to the treehouse was easy. Doc was still a little concerned about Dinah, but Mal and I knew the truth. She was a Wheeler. She was going to be strong. She’d survive all of this just because she could.

I tried to focus on the man that was carrying me, but I always came back to the little one I held close to my chest. I had felt a small dash of disappointment when she was placed in my arms. I had been hoping she would look just like Malachi. But the truth was that she was all me. And that was something Malachi had wanted the most.

Doc started to run a little ahead of us as the Treehouse came into view. I wasn’t sure what had happened since I had left the living room to go find Mal, but I knew that I was worn out. And with a tiny baby in my arms, it was a wonder that I was still fully functioning. But, Malachi knew me better than I expected. Avoiding the main room, he took the back stairs up to the kitchen. It was a short walk to our room. And as soon as he placed me down on the bed, he slowly stripped me of my clothes before changing into a pair of sleep pants and a plain white tee. Our daughter was taken from my arms as my eyes started to grow heavy. But I knew she was safe. There was nowhere safer than her Daddy’s arms.^

#AlreadyChokingOnMyPride

[eversopatiently-blog]

Already Choking On My Pride (SL with @iWillNotFade, @WeBothGoMissing, @AWolfAtHeart, @DoNoHarm_, and @InColdDecember)

Rora: ^It had been way too long. I didn’t get time to spend with my husband anymore. It didn’t matter that I was pregnant and freaking out. It was more important to have everyone be ready for the fight. I understood it. There was no room for error with the St. Pierre pack. Especially not if Derrick was with them. I just didn’t have to like the idea of this happening. I didn’t have to like that everyone else in the Treehouse got to spend more time with my husband than I did.

I kept myself occupied. I read, I hung around with Josh, I tried to keep Spencer busy with doing exams on Dinah. I think it was something that kept all of us from thinking about what was going on around us. We were the three that were the most out of place. Both Josh and Doc were humans. Neither of them had a place in this fight. But it was the people that they cared about that brought them here.

But both of them had their other halves to decompress with at night. It felt like Mal would come back from a training session just to go into strategy meetings with Leah and Logan. By the time he would come back to our room, either I was asleep or he was within minutes of laying down. It was the only time I had him. And I was going insane.

I put the happy smile on for everyone, though. I made sure that no one in the house knew how I was really feeling. I didn’t want them to know that I felt like I was losing my husband. I felt like I was getting Beezer. A man my husband had never been for me. There was a wall up. And I was the reason that wall was up. If I hadn’t have come here, I would have never brought this upon him.

Everyone could try to tell me that I was wrong, but I knew the truth. I knew that I did this to him and Leah. I made him go back to something he hated being. And it was a guilt that ate at me. It was made worse by the absence. But I didn’t talk about that. I didn’t need to remind everyone that I was the reason this was happening. I didn’t need to be the girl that demanded her husband spend time with her when everything wrong was going on around me.

But he had noticed that something was wrong. That’s how we ended up here. Running. We were both in wolf form, but I knew it was a matter of time until one of us shifted. And with my mind where it was, I felt the attention of my wolf slip. She normally stayed right next to the black wolf that she loved so much. But today was different. She was at least a step or two behind him. And I couldn’t stop her from letting out the pained howl before I shifted back into my human form. There was too much pain to keep myself focused on her. It was the one time my shifting failed me. If there was too much going on in my head, I couldn’t keep her out. And it was breaking me today. I didn’t want to have this conversation. I wanted to be a wolf. I wanted to be away from the pain. But how was I supposed to do that when I was running with the one thing that didn’t seem to understand the source of all that pain?

I felt myself crumble into a ball as the tears started to pour down my cheeks. The sobs were tearing through my chest, and I didn’t know what I could do to stop them. I hated this. I hated this feeling. And I hated being so out of control. But I was lost for the first time in a very long time, and I felt like I had no one to turn to.^

Malachi: -Running was usually something that Aurora and I loved to do together, but it had been so long since the two of us had any time together, to run or just exist. I missed how things had been before all of this had come crashing down on our heads, but then we’d known this was coming since the beginning. They were going to find her eventually, and finding her meant finding me. I was going down to the last breath to keep her safe.

But here she was in the woods shifting back into a human before the black wolf knew what was going on. He adored her. He’d have done anything for her. And he had no idea how to help her. He walked over, whining and nuzzling against her for the moment before he let me free again. She needed me.

I knelt down on the ground next to her, brushing her hair back off her face and wishing I could just help her stop like magic.- Angel, I’m right here.

-I leaned down and scooped her gently up into my arms, hoping this was the right thing because it was all I knew how to do.-

Rora: ^I was almost more comfortable with Shadow. There was something about the wolf. Regardless of what was going on, I was always his number one priority. And if, for some reason, it wasn’t me that was in the front of his mind, it was my wolf. And that was something I understood. But I could only cry harder as I was pulled into my husband’s arms.

My belly was rounder than it had ever been. And I knew Dinah was due any day. She kept me from completely curling up in his lap. And at the moment, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. I didn’t know if I actually wanted to be in this spot. But some part of me knew that he was suffering as much as I was. That didn’t mean that it made anything easier.

My voice was harsh as I struggled to pull myself away from the man I had married. I had Colette’s words ringing through my head from our marriage. This was going to be the test of her magic. This was going to be the moment that I either destroyed him or made him stronger. And I wasn’t sure which one it was going to be. I just knew that he needed to know everything.^

I don’t know, Malachi. Doesn’t seem like you’ve been anywhere near me since everyone got here. Or maybe I’m just referring to you the wrong way. Because it feels like the only way I can get an answer out of you is if I call you Beezer. So do I have to become like Leah and Amiee and Tatiana and Logan? Do I have to start calling you Beezer to get your attention? That is not something I have ever done. It’s not something I have ever needed to do. But the moment everyone else is around, it feels like you’ve forgotten that I don’t call you Beezer. I don’t like the Beezer persona. I don’t like the Beezer wall. Because you’ve shut Malachi off from me. And I don’t know how to handle it.

Malachi: I’m sorry I’ve been such a shit husband lately. -it took all the self control I had in me to keep from breaking into tears when she called me Beezer. It wasn’t something I’ve ever heard her call me. I didn’t even know if she wanted me around with the way she was talking. Things had been stressful lately, and I reverted back to what I knew when I was stressed out. I hadn’t had as much time to give her lately  

She’d pulled herself out of my arms and it felt like someone had ripped my heart out with her.- I’m sorry. Just please don’t call me that. I’m not that to you. And I didn’t ever want to be that for you. I’d rather you punched me right in the face.

-I wanted to pull her back into my arms, but I wasn’t going to force her into that if it wasn’t where she wanted to be. I wanted all this to be over so I didn’t have to be that, but until then that part of me was a necessary evil sometimes. I was bad at figuring out when to turn it off. It broke me a little to know I’d made her feel that way- I’m sorry.

Aurora: ^I could only shake my head at him. I knew the truth. This was hard for both of us. The stress of what was happening was killing us. And if we weren’t careful, we were going to lose everything. And that was the last thing I wanted.

But I needed to hear that he was sorry. I had to make him realize what was bothering me so much. I needed him to know that this was not easy for me. It never had been. I didn’t hesitate before throwing myself back into his arms. In all actuality, it was the only place I ever felt completely safe. And I knew he was doing all of this for me. He was forcing himself to be Beezer to protect me. But Beezer wasn’t what I needed. I needed Malachi. I needed the man I had fallen in love with. I needed my husband. My words were shaky as I tried to gather myself.^

Don’t be Beezer around me. Don’t throw up walls with me. I’m the last person that needs it, Mal. I understand you need that side of you to protect me. I understand it has to come out when you’re planning with Leah or training Tatiana. But I still need my husband. I need you to come back to me. I haven’t left yet. I love you too much to walk away, but I need my husband. I don’t need the shell of a man you were before I got here.

Malachi: -I gasped in shock when she threw herself back into my arms. It half reminded me of the way she’d nearly thrown herself into my arms on the day we’d met. It was second nature to wrap my arms around her and crush her to my chest. I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

I hated that I’d reverted back to something I was before she came along. I’d lead a long life of nothing but that though, so it was easy to fall back on my instincts and what I’d been raised to be. She made that different, but I needed to protect her so I had something to go on living for after all of this was done. If she was gone, the voices came back, she wasn’t here anymore nothing was much worth any of the fight. I needed her, and I loved her beyond reason.-

I love you, Angel. I’m sorry, and If you walked away I don’t think I’d be able to handle it. I love you way too much to just be able to let you go without it pulling my entire world apart. I’m yours. I hate all of this. I hate that I’m that person even when I need to be.

-I pressed a kiss to the edge of her temple, keeping her near as possible even if her belly was there between us. I  hoped all of this was going to be over sooner rather than later. I needed my wife and my daughter safe. I needed my family safe. And this shadow hanging over all of us was more than any of us really ought to have lived with.-

Aurora: ^That was the thing that he needed to realize. I wasn’t going to walk away. Not as long as he remembered that I needed him as much as everyone else needed him. And I realized that he was being pulled in a million different directions. I knew that dropping that wall was always going to be hard. But I was really the only person that should have mattered. I should have been the one that was kept in that wall with him. But he had forced me out. I couldn’t pretend that it didn’t hurt. I could say that I understood it until I was blue in the face. And I did understand it. But I didn’t have to like it.

I didn’t want to spend all of our time like this, though. I wanted everything to be like it had once been. Even if we were ignoring everything around us. I needed him to know that this was what I wanted.^ I don’t want you to hate yourself. I want you to understand that as much as I am not a fan of Beezer, he is still a part of you. It’s not a part of you that I like very much, but he is still a part of you. But he’s a part of you that doesn’t understand how much you need me.

^Sighing softly, I just looked at my hands for a second. There was still a lot I needed to say.There was a lot that we needed to discuss, and I still wasn’t entirely sure how to go about it. I guess the only way to do it was to just tell him everything. I needed to explain why all of this hurt. Regardless of how much I understood. I needed to tell him in a logical and not necessarily emotional way.^

I understand that everyone needs you. I know that you’re the driving force in protecting everyone. And that’s something that makes me love you even more. But while you’re giving everyone else a part of you, I’m being left behind. And I understand that this is the one thing that needs to happen. You need to be able to protect me in the best way possible. But I don’t want your protection to come at the cost of our relationship. We need each other, Malachi. Don’t spread yourself so thin that you’re sacrificing us to keep everyone safe.

Malachi: I need you, Angel. And I’m used to sacrificing myself to keep other people safe, but you’re right. Can we just have each other for awhile? Like it used to be before all of this hit us like a freight train? -I curled into her, burying my face in her hair and just getting lost in the scent of her. Other than the nights when we were curled up in bed together, there were very few moments where we got to exist with just the two of us. I’d almost forgotten how much I missed this after I’d pushed it down so far that I didn’t notice it or need to feel it when I was working on everything. But here she was curled into my arms. I needed this, even if I hadn’t realized it. I needed her, and I knew it. I always had.

I didn’t want to take any more of the time we had together with wallowing in what was going on around us. That was going to come intruding in before we wanted it to. It always did. Who knew how much time we had left to just be the two of us.

My hands moved to run around the curve of her stomach, and I kept my face in her neck. I wanted to be lost in her for as long as I could steal away from everything else.-

Aurora: ^I couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across my face as Mal let his hands run over my stomach. This was the other thing I had been missing. But it wasn’t something I was going to harp on him about. It had been hard enough telling him that I missed him. I didn’t want to tell him that Dinah had missed him just as much. All of this was hard. But we both needed this. We needed to just be with each other.

I couldn’t stop myself from pressing my lips against his. I needed to feel him. I needed to bathe myself in affection from him. I needed to know that this was okay. That it was okay for me to love him. I wanted to just put my emotions out there. And it wasn’t even so much that I wanted to feel this. I needed to feel this. I needed this to be okay. And with my pregnant belly, I couldn’t get as close to him as I wanted.^

We love you. I adore you. I have always adored you. There is no one I would ever want to spend my life with. Even if you were insane, Mal. I loved you before Colette helped with the voices. I’ll love you even if you decide you want to take over any of the packs we end up destroying. Which should only be the Haydens and St. Pierre’s.

Malachi: -I listened to what she was telling me, but the last bit had me shaking my head with a laugh. The last thing I wanted was to take over any of these packs. The day to day running of things was going to leave me in that mindset that she hated so much all day long, only being able to relax once I was home with her. What I really wanted was a quiet life with my wife and my daughter out in the middle of nowhere where we could just be a family. I could run the gym and take care of her and just be happy like we were when we first met and wound up together, just with the addition of Dinah-

I adore you, too, both of you, and lucky for all of us, I’m mostly sane. I just want the two of you, nothing more and nothing less. I don’t want to run anything other than a nice shower at the end of the day and have you join me in it. -I let out a soft chuckle remembering the day we’d met each other. I would have loved to go back to those days when it didn’t feel like we were waiting on the other shoe to drop, and if things went as planned we were going to have those days back again. I wasn’t going to tarnish them with trying to get into wolf politics or running anything. I’d leave that to people who were better suited to it than me.

It was nice just to sit out here and talk to her. I hadn’t realized how long it had been since just the two of us had had a real conversation, and it didn’t matter what about. Stealing kisses in between sentences was just a bonus. Maybe it would have looked weird to anyone who wandered up on us to find us sitting out in the middle of the woods talking, but I really didn’t give a damn what anyone else thought. I was out here with my wife.

I just didn’t know that we were enjoying literally the last few minutes we had before all of this came crashing down. Whenever I shifted, my senses would be heightened for a few hours afterward. I could scent things on the breeze and hear a lot better than I ought to until I slept it off. Which was why I was able to hear the sound of footsteps moving through the woods only just a moment before I scented them on the woods.

It had been years since I’d smelled that particular scent, but I knew it immediately and it had my hackles up. This was it, and of course it would have come right now, the moment when I finally stole some time away with my wife, when she needed me. She could have Dinah at any moment. Doc had been hovering around like a mother hen for a reason. Everything was hitting all at once, and it was all hitting right now.

I moved to my feet, bringing Rora with me. I didn’t know if she’d smelled and heard what I did, but I knew she needed to head back to the treehouse right now and send out the others. They didn’t know we were aware of their presence yet. It gave us a little bit of the upper hand since they were expecting to be able to get in a surprise attack. I made sure Rora was looking square in my eyes before I started speaking-

They’re here. Go back to the house, and send the rest of them out here. And please just stay put. I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to either of you…

-My words trailed off and the look of my eyes was pleading. I wasn’t trying to order her around. I just needed her to go. I needed her to know how important this was, and no matter what happened to any of the rest of the inhabitants of this house, I needed her to take care of herself and Dinah. Those were the only two of them I wasn’t going to be able to live without.-

Rora: ^I didn’t hesitate. I couldn’t. Not with this. I felt myself almost explode into a wolf before I started taking off towards the house. It felt like almost no time had passed before I was shifting back and running up the stairs to the kitchen. I stopped for a second before trying to take a couple of breaths. I knew what was happening. And I knew I needed to let them know as fast as possible.

I knew better than to howl as I was coming up. I didn’t want to be tracked. But inside of the Treehouse? There was no stopping me from screaming for someone. My voice cracked as I let out a yell I was sure to be heard from ever inch of the Treehouse.^ LEAH! LOGAN!

^It seemed like two names was all that was needed before everyone was rushing into the kitchen. But it was Amiee that put the pieces together. The soft “they’re here” was a statement and not a question. Leah didn’t even wait before she was out the door and jumping off the stairs. She didn’t hesitate before shifting. Logan, Amee, and Tatiana weren’t far behind her.^

Logan: [I didn’t blame Leah for bolting the way that she did. The moment Rora came into the house and started screaming for Leah and I, we knew something was wrong. There was no denying it. But this was something Leah and I had discussed at lengths with Beezer. We needed a plan on how to fight and how to hide Tats.

As soon as my wife was out of view, I could only turn to Tatiana with an expectant expression. This was what we had trained for. We needed to do this the right way.] You stay out of their view. They don’t know about you. They don’t know about your size. Don’t make yourself known until you have eyes on Zeke. You know what you’re looking for. The moment he’s distracted or tries to take a step towards Beezer, you take him down. Don’t eliminate him. Beezer wants him alive.

[I almost wasn’t sure what was happening when Tatiana shifted. But she dropped to her stomach with an expectant growl. This wasn’t something we had talked about, but I knew what she wanted. I knew what she was trying to tell us. Grabbing Amiee by the hips, I didn’t hesitate before I put her on Tatiana’s back. We, as humans, were slower than the wolves. But Tats was giving us the chance to catch up.

I was on her back as soon as Amiee was settled. Tatiana didn’t hesitate to run as though the world was ending. And, in a way, it was. She wanted everyone on a level playing field. She wanted the chance to survive this. It felt like a blink before we were getting off the wolf. But we knew it was necessary. We were going to have to run the last few yards. Looking at Amiee, I nodded my head before the storm clouds started to roll in. She wasn’t going to be the most vital person in this fight, but she could give us cover.]

Leah: *The minute I knew what was going on I was out the door and off the porch. I needed to get out there and make sure everything was going down like it was supposed to and that none of this was going to hit a hiccup. From the speed that Aurora came into the house with and the fact that she’d done it silently, I was guessing that they didn’t know that we knew they were here. But Amos wasn’t stupid. He was going to count on the fact that we had more than one wolf out here who could scent them all if they happened to be outside. He just didn’t know that we already figured out he was coming after us.

I was hoping he hadn’t counted on Colette or Logan or Amiee, though he wouldn’t have put it past me to have witches around the house. After all, it was something he’d been doing himself for years. But Tatiana was something else, something I don’t think anyone could have seen coming unless they knew her.

I followed the line of scent that told me where Aurora had come from until I reached the clearing where she’d originally shifted. I could sense the change in the scent that told me she and Beezer had been here as humans not long before. That meant Beezer wasn’t going to be far off, and that’s when it hit me. I knew exactly what he scented.

Wolves, more than one of them. They were off in the distance in the trees around the house.  I was pretty certain they couldn’t find the house unless one of us lead them back to it. The ward that had been put in place kept it hidden for the most part. It wasn’t impossible to find, but it was difficult. So they were circling the place trying to find us. That was exactly what I would have done in their situation.

The wolf was antsy. She wanted to run off after them, but I wasn’t so certain that was the best course of action to take. We had the element of surprise, and I had my target exactly in mind. Beezer was going after Amos of course, Tati was going to take out Zeke, and Cyrus was going to be all mine. I just had to make sure I hit him in just the right manner.

I wasn’t certain I was going to be able to pick out his scent after all this time, but my wolf was. That wasn’t something she was ever going to forget. Being chained and caged and nearly murdered had been imprinted on her mind as much as anything else ever had. He was in the woods, not too far from here, but he wasn’t alone. I could tell that right away. They were in a group, and we were going to have to figure out how to draw them apart. -

Malachi: -I’d shifted as soon as Rora had run out of the clearing. She was silent, and for that I was thankful. We needed to keep the advantage as long as we could, because in all honesty we were a bit outnumbered. There were more wolves on my father’s side than ours, that much was a given. The strategy here was to divide them, to split them up. Right now, they were grouped together.

I’d gotten closer, but the black wolf knew how to stay downwind of his prey and stalk them like any good predator should. In his mind, they were now prey to be taken down. The sound of them in the not too distant woods was loud and clear. They weren’t trying to keep quiet exactly, though they weren’t being loud. However, it was all a signal to him -- the scents, the sounds and the glimpses of them I could get through the gaps in the trees. He was going to split them up, and he knew exactly how to do it.

Stalking closer, he growled as soon as he was close enough for the back of the pack to hear him and ran off, making just enough noise to attract their attention and draw them away from the group. It was easy enough when you knew these woods to loop back and repeat the process in an entirely different direction. Before long, they were starting to scatter all around the woods and leaving the pack to dwindle down one at a time until only two of them remained, Amos and Zeke.-

Tatiana: *Once Amiee and Logan were off of her, she knew what she had to do. She was familiar with the scents of those she was around. She knew Beezer, Leah, Logan, and Amiee. Those were the only people she needed to be concerned with.

I had learned a lot from Beezer in the last few weeks. She knew what she needed to do, and I wasn’t going to hold her back. Pulling around the back, I could tell she was smelling the groups of unfamiliar wolves. It was easier to pick the ones off that were trailing behind. A quick bite to the back to the neck and a turn of the head and they were no longer a concern. She didn’t stop to check if they were alive or dead. But I couldn’t stop her as soon as she saw a wolf going for Beezer.

It was exactly as Beezer had warned. The one on the left had started to circle him. As soon as he lunged, she struck. It was the same way Leah had taken her down when she turned on Beezer. She dropped her head, and the force of her shoulder took him to the ground. She didn’t stop the growl that slid out as she pressed her teeth into his shoulder.*

Beezer: -I hadn’t known if the wolf was going to let me remember anything that happened today. That was entirely his choice. He could blank me out completely or give me that window that let me watch everything that happened. I could only hope that he was at least going to give me something to hold on to while all of this was going on. I didn’t think I could handle not knowing how all of this had come out or if my wife and daughter were alright until I came out of this. Mercifully, he’d let me sit just at the back of things and watch as he led the members of the St. Pierre pack off one by one. When it only Amos and Zeke remained, the two of them realized I was there simultaneously.

They circled me, using the tactics I’d been taught myself long before I’d left to come here. I was bigger than either of them, and they knew it. They also knew that I knew exactly how to take them down individually. They were relying on the fact that they were together and that I was outnumbered.

That was the moment that Tatiana came barreling out of the woods. I’d heard her and Leah, picking off the wolves that I led off into the trees one at a time. Tatiana was much better at it than she’d given herself credit for, and Leah had kept it up until I pulled Cyrus away from the group. I knew she was out for blood with him, and I only hoped the she could pull it off.

Tatiana now had my oldest brother pinned by the neck at the edge of the clearing. She’d done it magnificently, her teeth slid from his shoulder to his throat, throwing him to the ground before either of them realized what was happening. She was huge, and I could see the fear in both their eyes when she seemed to appear half out of nowhere. It was exactly what we’d planned all this time.

That only left Amos and me in the center of the clearing, the two of us circling each other warily, with our eyes locked. I was keeping my distance on purpose because I was waiting on something. A few days ago, I’d pulled Logan to the side after one of the training sessions that seemed to be all we were up to lately and asked a little favor. I didn’t intend on finishing off any of this until he was able to get it started if I was able to. I had a lot of shit to say to Amos St. Pierre, but I didn’t trust him enough to turn back into a human anywhere around him, so I needed another way to let him know exactly what I needed to say.-

Logan: [I saw the hesitation in Beezer. It was the one thing I had been looking for. This was the one thing I had to do before I could take another step towards my wife. There was no fucking way I was letting her handle that asshole on her own. But I had agreed to give this to Beezer. I understood what he wanted. And I knew why he needed it.

The words were soft, and not for anyone to hear. It was something that was going to give Beezer an upper hand if he used it properly.] Papa san an, pi piti pitit gason. Lide nan yon sèl. Youn fòs, feblès papa a.

[Repeating the words once more, I felt Beezer’s blood connect with the spell. I was positive it had worked, and I didn’t give it a second thought as I went to find my wife. I had to figure out the best way to help her, and the only way to do that was to find her fight.]

Beezer: -I knew the moment the spell hit that it was working. I could feel the change wash over me when my mind linked with Amos’s, and I could see the shock wash over his eyes even in his wolf form. I let myself forget about Tatiana and my brother a few yards away and kept my focus on the wolf in front of me.

His coat was going white, especially around the muzzle, though he’d always been so much lighter than I was. None of us ever knew why I was as black as midnight when the rest of my family was gray. It didn’t matter, but it was something Aurora and I had always had in common. We were nothing like the families that we’d thought we’d been a part of as children.

I could sense the confusion on the other end of the connection between the two of us. I intended to use that to my advantage.-

It’s been a long time, Amos…

-There was no way I was going to call him Dad after all this time. I wasn’t going to give him the pleasure. He might have been my father, but he’d never been a father to me. He may as well have been a complete stranger. His voice in my head was the same one I’d known all those years, though.

“Well, well, Beezer St. Pierre. It certainly has been a long time.”

I fought the urge to laugh, though the wolf let off a gentle cuff as he circled around the other in the clearing.-

I haven’t been a St. Pierre for a long damned time. You and I both know that. Maybe that’s why I changed my name to Wheeler after Aurora and I got married. And don’t act like that surprises you. I know you know about Aurora. I know her brother is here. I just don’t think you know all the details, like how she’s pregnant with my daughter, who is getting named after my mother by the way. Dinah Colette Wheeler, I think it’s got a nice ring to it.

-I waited for a moment to let all of that sink in. I may have told him more than I let on in the revealing of things. My mother’s name was one I knew well, but Colette was something I shouldn’t have known about. He was shaken, but he tried to act nonchalant.

“Colette. That old witch. Don’t tell me you drug her up from whatever hole in the ground she crawled into.  And what about Leah? I’m sure that bitch is around here somewhere getting her throat torn out by now.”

I took a step closer. This part of the conversation was drawing to an end, but I wasn’t going to let him know it until I had to.-

Oh, you know her. I’m sure she’s giving Cy a run for his money right now. She does have some beef with him after all. Though, I do have to thank her husband for this little gift he’s given the two of us. I’m just not sure you’re enjoying this as much as I am.

-Another step closer, keeping him distracted with updates about some of his least favorite people on earth was doing the trick. He didn’t seem to notice how much closer I was drawing with each passing moment.

“Husband? Oh, please do tell me she’s gone off and married some random warlock from god only knows where. I’d love to see what kind of loser gave her more than five minutes of his time. I’m sure he’s a pleasure. I’ll have to thank him for the chance to learn what became of all of you since you’ve been skulking around the woods in the middle of nowhere all these years. It’s been a lot of fun catching up but…”

I didn’t give him a chance to finish. He was good at bluffing, but I knew all his tells. I’d grown up knowing them since I was old enough to walk. It was survival for me. I needed to know when he meant what he said and when he was covering for something, and right now, he was covering because he was scared. He gave it away in the way he flinched when I said Colette’s name and the step backwards he’d taken when I mentioned Leah and the fact that she was married. He’d expected me to fall to pieces without him. He’d expected that curse Delilah had left me with to be the end of me. I’d known that was the purpose from the beginning. I was just going to be the one to finish the job he had started.

Instead, I was standing in front of him, close enough to pounce and start the fight I’d been waiting for have for far too long. I needed to take him down and hard. This was going to be the end of it all and it came down to the two of us in the middle of this clearing. I owed him for a lot of things -- for what he’d done to me, for what he’d done to my mother, for what he’d tried to do to Leah and Colette, and what he planned to do to Aurora and Dinah if he got the chance. I was going straight for his throat.-

Aurora: ^It felt like I wasn’t catching my breath. There was so much going on around me, and there was a lot to take in. One second I was in the woods with Mal just trying to figure out when I was going to have my husband back, and now I was here while he was out risking his life for me. It was a lot to take in. But I couldn’t let the fear get to me. I couldn’t let Josh or Doc know how much this was bothering me.

But it was a small breeze that brought fear to my spine. We weren’t the only ones in the treehouse. My eyes shut as I greeted the man that had somehow found what he was looking for.^ You gave me enough time to fall in love, get married, have my husband destroy our family, and get pregnant before you finally found me. Father would have been so disappointed, Der. Then again, he’s dead. So there’s no one to be disappointed in you.

^As my eyes opened, I was greeted by not just my brother. There was a girl standing next to him with bright red hair and green eyes. Her lips were quirked in what I could only describe as a vicious smile. She knew she was here to cause problems. And it was almost immediate that it clicked in my head who she was.^ For real, Der? Hooking up with a bitch that likes to cast spells that have loopholes? And here I thought you were better than that.

^I felt her trying to cast some sort of spell. And I almost wanted to laugh. But again, she wouldn’t have known about the warlock we had in our back pocket. I hated referring to Logan like that, but the truth was that he had helped in more ways than one. The screech that filled the house was almost deafening.

“I’m supposed to be the only witch in his life. That baby should be mine! He was engaged to me first! Beezer St. Pierre is my husband, not yours.”

I could only blink at the psychotic woman standing in front of me. There was so much wrong with that sentence. And the first thing was about Beezer St. Pierre. Because for as long as I had known him, he had never been Beezer.^

If he was always supposed to be yours, what’s his first name? Middle name? His last name? None of what you said is right, by the way. His name has never been Beezer St. Pierre. I mean, yeah. He is a St. Pierre. But that’s just because of his father’s last name. He’s not an actual St. Pierre.

^I wasn’t going to focus on the baby comment for now. I wanted to see her lose her mind. I needed to know if she knew the answers to the questions. And, of course, she didn’t. She had never been in the relationship for him. It was power. More power than she had.^ I didn’t think you knew the answer to that question. That’s the difference between the two of us. I can tell you everything about the man I married.

^I turned my attention to the man standing next to her. He was almost stunned at what was happening. I couldn’t help the small laugh that slipped from my lips as he just stared at Delilah.^ You think she loves you, Derrick?I had hoped you knew better. But apparently you’re blind. Delilah is in love with power. She wants the St. Pierre name more than anything. And the only person available to give her that name is her beloved Beezer. A man that doesn’t even exist anymore.

^Derrick was floundering for a response, but he couldn’t come up with one. He knew I was right about her. And she had stopped caring about my brother the moment she walked into the house. Her voice was sickly sweet as she took another step closer.

“I can make him come back, Wolf. I can get my Beezer back. All I need to do is kill you. Of course, I won’t kill the baby inside of you. I may not want to be a mother, but I won’t deny him the option of being a father to the bitch pup that will need a new mother.”

I couldn’t think. Everything around me froze, and a red haze filled my vision as I got lost in the rage filling me.^

Leah: *I’d been staying around the perimeter of the fight, waiting and watching for a chance to take out the one person I was looking for. It was easy enough to pick off one or two of the other wolves when the spread out from the group. Beez made sure that we were able to take them on one at a time instead of en masse. It was when I was at my best and could use my speed to my advantage.

It was only when I saw the one wolf I was looking for that I slowed down even a little bit. I would have recognized the pale gray of his fur anywhere. I saw it my dreams when I woke up in a cold sweat at night sometimes, even now. I owed him all of this maybe even more. It was hard to say what would have happened if Beezer hadn’t come and pulled me out of that cage I’d been chained to, but I wouldn’t have been here to do this. I would have been lucky to have been dead if they still had me.

There was honestly no telling how many other people that had happened to. Those cages weren’t new, and they knew way too much about what they’d been doing for this to be the first time. It wasn’t something I liked to think about, but it had been years since I’d been around any of the St. Pierre’s. Being this close brought it all flooding back. Beezer wasn’t one of them. He never had been, not since the day I’d met him. It was the only reason I could trust him now.

The one I knew I couldn’t trust was in a clearing on the other side of a few trees. I had him scented down and was making a beeline for that direction without really caring whether or not he knew I was on the way. Maybe that was a mistake, but I was beyond giving a damn about all of it. I had business to take care of and Cyrus St. Pierre was it. I could hear the sounds of fights going on all around various corners of the forest around us, but they were easy to tune out as soon as I emerged into the clearing I was aiming for.

He was there waiting, just like I knew he would be. The wolf was poised ready to pounce on the other side of the clearing from where I’d emerged from the trees. He’d known I was coming. That much was clear. He was bigger than me, nearly as big as Beezer, but not quite. I needed to keep my wits about here, but the blinding anger that roared through me made that kind of difficult. All I really wanted to do was to bury my teeth in his throat and rip a new hole in him.

He came for me before I came for him, but I waited until he was almost on top of me before I jumped, landing on his back and biting down hard just above his shoulder with a low snarl. He rolled at that instant, howling out while his full weight landed on me, stealing my breath and giving him just long enough to regain his footing before I could find enough air to scramble back to my own feet.

We circled each other, the growls echoing off the treeline, until he came for me again. This time, he was the one who tried to pounce while I rolled under him, knocking his feet out from under him so that he landed on his back. It gave me a chance to go straight for his throat again. He was able to deflect me so my teeth found the opposite shoulder, striking a long red gash against the gray of his fur before he knocked me over. I was too small to withstand the force of the blow, but I could use the momentum of it to get me far enough away from him to get back to my feet.

This time, he was able to regroup before I was. I could only brace myself when he slammed full force into my side and I was sent sprawling into a tree. I struggled to get back up, but my head had hit the tree pretty hard. I was going down and there wasn’t anything I could do to stop myself as the world began to fade to black.*

Logan: [I could feel her growing weaker. The fight she was in had to have been against Cyrus. It was the only wolf she would put everything into. But it was what happened when I got to the tree line that made me scared. I could only watch as the bigger grey wolf threw the small russet wolf off of him and into the trees surrounding them. I felt her fighting for consciousness. It was a plus to why we tied ourselves together. But this fucking terrified me.

I didn’t run to her. God knows I wanted to, but there was a more pressing matter to deal with. The wolf that had started stalking towards my wife’s limp body. Before he got too close, I felt the spell slipping from my lips. Every muscle froze. And he wasn’t going anywhere. It was what I wanted. I wanted him to stay put while I broke him down.

It wasn’t going to be a fight. Cyrus wasn’t going to get near me. But I could get close to him. And with each step, his growl got louder. But I put myself between him and Leah. I needed him to see everything I did.] Nice try, asshole. Trust me on this. She won’t be down for long. But you won’t be alive long enough to see her bounce back.

[I was bluffing. I could feel the way Leah was struggling to hold on, and it just made my fury worse. I hadn’t been taught to use this side of the magic, but I was going to do everything to protect the woman I had been in love with. She meant everything to me. And no one else mattered.

I flicked my wrist as I whispered the words before I heard the bone in his front legs break. But the magic wouldn’t let him fall. I wouldn’t give him that kind of release. He needed to fed every inch of pain I was giving him.

From there, I didn’t stop. Breaking the bones in his hind legs before releasing his muscles. It accomplished what I wanted. He was on the ground due to the pain rolling through him.] I know about the cage, Cyrus. I know that the plan was to either kill her completely or beat her into submission. But the thing you never counted on was how strong her will to survive was.

[My eyes stayed on the wolf in front of me as he tried to get to his feet. But it wasn’t going to happen. Another flick of my wrist, and his back was broken. He wasn’t dead. I wasn’t ready for that. I wanted him to hear every last word before I finally killed him.] You and your father made a mistake in coming for revenge. Beezer has more to live for now. A wife and daughter on the way. It wouldn’t surprise me if your father was dead already. But you fucked with Leah. You tried to break her.

[I let myself start to slowly circle the wolf laying on the ground in front of me. There was still so much I wanted to say to him. And as he let out another growl, I could only smile.] I know what you wanted to use her for. She was just a gene pool for you. You wanted to be the first, though. Didn’t you, Cy? You wanted to be the one to fuck her. You wanted to be the one who made her pregnant.

[As I came back around to his head, I let myself kneel down so I could look Cyrus in the eye. He was going to hear this last statement if it was the last thing I said.] You’d have enjoyed her pussy, too. When she’s excited, she gets so fucking wet. It’s unlike anything I have ever felt. And the way she tastes when she’s cumming? Nothing is sweeter than her. And fuck if my girl doesn’t scream when she cums.

[I smiled as Cyrus let out another growl. But Leah was getting weaker. And I knew my work was done. Turning my bag on the paralyzed wolf, I let the words flow from my lips. The spell that constricted his airway. It wasn’t going to be a painless death. I wasn’t going to allow that.

I couldn’t concern myself with him, though. Sometime during my chat with Cyrus, Leah had shifted back into a human. I didn’t touch her because I didn’t want to do more damage, but I could only curl myself up next to my wife as I tried to think of every spell I could. I wasn’t ready to lose her, and I was terrified that’s that was the road we were now walking.]

Aurora: ^The Wolf wasn’t letting me see anything. She wasn’t letting me experience anything. And I started to get scared. I didn’t know what was happening. And all I could do was feel things. I felt her emotions. Pure rage. No one was going after her pup. That baby belonged to her. And it was good to know that she was going to be a mother to Dinah.

The next thing I felt was pride. She had done something. Something that made her happy. But she wasn’t letting me know what that something was. I felt her go outside and down the stairs. I couldn’t stop pleading with her, though. This was not part of the plan. She was not supposed to go out into the woods. She was not supposed to go looking for a fight.

But I knew what she was looking for. I felt her pick up the scent for her mate. The black wolf that had the ability to control my husband. She wanted him to be proud of her. She wanted him to see what she had done. She wanted to be congratulated.

She let out a growl whenever anyone looked at her. She was daring them to come close. But her growl was muffled by whatever was in her mouth. And at that point, I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what had happened.

The realization was startling. She had learned this trick from Mal’s wolf. She was protecting me from something. Something she didn’t want me to know about. It made the fear and panic come back tenfold. But with each step closer to the battle, I could feel her anxiety rising. She wasn’t sure what she was going to find. And it was the first time she thought about what she was doing. But it was too late to turn back. She had to find her Shadow.^

Mal: -My father might have been old, but he’d spent all his life fighting for position in the pack. He’d needed to keep in good shape to maintain that, even with my brothers in his ranks. However, there was something a bit excessive in how strong he actually was.  

This wasn’t the first time we’d fought. My father and I had sparred when we were both much younger. It was part of the training and both of my brothers had received. We needed to be ready to fight at a moment’s notice. But I wasn’t as experienced then. I wasn’t as strong as I had become in the meantime. He and I had been fairly evenly matched back then; it didn’t stand to reason that he would be old enough to have grandchildren and would still be able to hold his own against a wolf that was larger than he was.

I suspected that Delilah or one of her family had something to do with this. I hadn’t seen her anywhere around, but he’d been so keen on working with a witch and using their power to his advantage. I wouldn’t have put it past him to have something going on. It was smart, and it was exactly what he would have done. So, I needed to keep my wits about me. I had to stay on my toes and not rely on my strength to win this fight. Strength wasn’t an advantage when your opponent was just as strong.

We rolled in a knot of legs, fur and teeth until my wolf pulled away, teeth bared and snarling. The two wolves circled each other for a moment, before the black wolf dove back in, digging his teeth into the ribs of the older wolf. It was in that moment that I realized something had changed drastically.

I heard one of his ribs snap under the wolf’s teeth. The howl that he let out was long and deafening, but it was also a sign that he knew the tides of the battle had changed. I didn’t know what I had to thank for that change. It could have been one of the witches on our side doing some kind of magic we hadn’t discussed, but it could have also meant that something had happened to whatever witch had cast the spell on him. I wasn’t sure which, and to be honest, either outcome was fine with me.

His strength was gone. Gone to the point that I wasn’t sure it had ever been real to begin with. He backed away, and I saw him eyeing the treeline. He was planning to run, but the black wolf was having none of that. He dashed in, taking advantage of the momentary lapse in my father’s attention to catch him off guard. It worked, and the older wolf was off his feet in an instant.

The black wolf was anything but dramatic. He was all about business with this, and he didn’t waste a moment in getting his teeth around the other wolf’s throat, digging in until he could taste the coppery blood flowing across his tongue and the life flowing out of him. He took his time doing it, but he was certain this was the end of the fight. There wasn’t any coming back from this. This was the kind of thing he’d have normally blacked me out from experiencing. I didn’t recall ever being aware of when he’d killed anyone. I was always at the periphery of things then or just completely gone. This time, he let me in on it all. It was the only time I’d have been a hundred percent on board with someone dying, no matter how much they might have deserved it. But this time, I was protecting my wife and my daughter from ever needing to be afraid of their own blood ever again.

He held on, despite the weakening struggle from my father, and didn’t let go until he heard a sound in the clearing behind him. He whipped around, half ready to pounce on whoever it was until the sight and scent hit him all at once. That was the last person I expected to see out in the woods right now.  My wife, or at least her wolf was there, pure white coat streaked with blood. It took a moment to register that the blood wasn’t hers, but instead, belonged to the body that she was dragging by the throat into the clearing.

She’d shifted, which meant that someone had found her and she’d needed to protect herself. I immediately felt guilty about that, but who had done it? The body there was mangled and covered in debris from being dragged through the woods, but one look at the tangled matt of red hair told me exactly who that was, Delilah. Delilah had been here, and she’d found my wife. I was seeing red at all of that. But here was Aurora, or at least her wolf, with the body in tow. I needed to figure out exactly what had happened here.

The black wolf didn’t fight me when I pushed to take control back. He willingly let go and allowed me to shift back into human form, my body twisting and contorting back into Malachi as I took a single step forward. I’d expected Aurora to join me, but she didn’t. The white wolf was still there, streaked in blood and clinging to the throat of the dead woman she’d dragged into the clearing. She’d saved my life, but I didn’t think she’d realized it.-

Aurora? -I took a step forward, holding my hand out to the wolf. I wasn’t scared of her. Aurora’s wolf was just as attached to me as I was to her. She wouldn’t have ever hurt me, but my wife wasn’t there behind those eyes like I was used to. I knew what was going on, but I wasn’t sure how to help her out of this, or how Aurora was going to react when she realized what had happened. I needed all the help I could get here, now that I was pretty certain the battle was over.

I glanced behind me where Tati was holding Zeke pinned by the neck to the ground and yelled over to her. - Tatiana? I need Logan and maybe Doc if you can find him, please? -I was scared, but trying not to let it show in my voice as long as Zeke was around.- Let Zeke go. I think I and Aurora can handle him now that Amos is dead.

-I heard Tatiana leaving and watched Zeke scramble to his feet before shifting back into a human. My voice was low and half a growl as I glared at him- Don’t you fucking move a muscle. You’re not getting anywhere. These woods are full of wolves and witches and not a single fucking one of them wants you alive right now. Your best bet is to stay put, and maybe if you listen I’ll let you live.

-I turned my attention back to the white wolf in front of me, reaching down to run a flattened palm between her ears gently- Look at you, Pretty Girl. You killed that bitch and protected all the rest of us. You saved my life and the pup. I hope you know that. I wouldn’t have won this fight without you. -She was ready for the praise. She’d come through the woods looking for me or my wolf. I’d known that the moment she stopped and waited for me. It was exactly what my wolf would have done in the same situation. He would have wanted his mate to know. I wanted her to know how much she’d done for all of us.-

Tati:  *I didn’t wait for another word from Beezer before I was off. I quickly picked up Logan’s scent, and started in that direction. But it was a different witch that caught my attention. Walking over, I gently nudged Amiee with my nose. She gave a soft laugh before shaking her head.

“I’m fine, Tats. Nothing a few bandages won’t fix. Don’t worry about me.”

I let out a huff as she started towards the Treehouse. If she wasn’t concerned, I wasn’t going to be. So I let my wolf do her thing. She started back on Logan’s scent before she picked up Leah’s scent and another wolf’s. She wasn’t sure what she was walking up on, but it wasn’t what she expected.

There was a dead wolf in the middle of the field. Bigger than the one she had pinned to the ground earlier. But it was the two human bodies that got her attention.

Logan was wrapped around Leah. Something was wrong. But she didn’t investigate. All she did was turn around and start sprinting back to the house. She didn’t think of the consequences as she started to howl. It was the only way she knew to get his attention. As she came to a stop, the man she was howling for was standing there. She pointedly looked at him before dropping to her stomach. She didn’t know if he understood, but she needed him to get on her back so she could take him to Logan and Leah.*

Spencer: -I’d recognized Tati’s howl before I saw her. It had my heart in her throat until I reached her. I didn’t know if she was hurt. I didn’t know what was up with any of them, but I knew it was getting to the point I was going to be needed. I’d been listening to the battle that raged on around me in the woods since all of this had begun. I’d been stuck at the house, waiting, watching and getting ready for the aftermath. I was useless in a fight, especially against wolves. I was only human, and even on my best day, I wasn’t going to be able to take one of them on. All I could do was be ready to be of use back here in the house.

I had a bag of supplies in hand when I met Tati out in the yard of the house. The woods around the place were far more silent than they had been since all of this began. The birds weren’t even singing. It was eerie, but if they’d known what was good for them all, they’d run far from this place while the battle was going on. They’d be back sooner or later.

Tati’s wolf got down on her front haunches almost playfully, but the look on her face was anything but. This was serious. She needed me, and she needed me to get there fast. It took me one quick look to note that she was unmarked from whatever fight she’d been in so that meant something was wrong with the others. She could get me there a hell of a lot faster than I could get there on foot. I nodded and climbed onto her back as quickly as I could manage with my bag in tow.-

Alright, Tati. Just get me wherever they need me.

-She took off, moving quickly through the woods until we were in a clearing I’d never been to before. Leah and Logan were there, and a dead wolf in the center of the clearing. Logan was fine, but Leah was unconscious. It was a quick move to scramble over to her side.- What happened?

Logan: He tossed her into a tree. She hit her back and neck before she went out. Doc, I’ve been throwing every ounce of magic I know at her to get her back, but I’m getting nothing. I can barely feel her in my veins.

[Leah and I had never hidden what we had done in front of the others. It was just another part of who we were. We were bound by her imprinting and my magic. And everyone knew what would happen if one was lost. But I wasn’t ready to let my wife die. And I wasn’t ready to follow her. There was still so much I wanted to do with her here. I needed her to see Dinah be born. She loved that little girl. Dinah was Aunt Leah’s little princess.

I wasn’t going to let her go so easily. I kept reciting every spell I had in my head. With the two of us bonded like we were, I didn’t need to say the words out loud. The situation with Leah was different than the situation with Beezer.]

Tell me what to do, Doc. I need my wife to be okay. And you’re the only person in this fucking place that can help her as much as I can.

Aurora: ^It was then that she let me come back. I could see the recognition in Mal’s eyes. He knew that she was going to let me come back to him. I felt her place whatever had been in her mouth on the ground before I felt the world shift.

It felt like in no time that I was standing in front of my husband. We weren’t far from where we had been, but Mal had taken his fight with Amos to a different spot. One that didn’t belong to us. But as I looked around, I was confused. I knew Amos was dead. There was no two ways about that. But there was another man in the clearing almost shooting daggers at my husband through his eyes.

But it was what was at my feet that gave me the most pause. I knew the red hair. I knew the pale skin that was deadly white at this point. But I didn’t know what had happened.^ No! Tell me she didn’t! She’s hiding stuff from me, Malachi! I can’t remember what happened!

^I felt the panic more than I wanted to. And I knew I needed to calm down. But there was no way that was going to happen. Not when there was a dead body at my feet.^ What did I do?!

Mal: -I pulled my wife into my arms, taking her away from the body that was crumpled at her feet and the body of my father on the other side of the clearing. I kept my eyes on Zeke, though. I wasn’t going to have him running off before I got a chance to put some fear into him. He needed to know what was going on and where he stood in all of this. But first, I needed to get my wife to calm down.

I pressed a kiss to the crown of her head, keeping her in my arms while I talked to her, keeping my voice as calm as I could- It’s ok, Angel. She kept you safe, and she kept the baby safe. She just didn’t want you to have that on your conscience. I know. It’s scary. I’ve been there.

-I cupped Rora’s face in my hands pulling her gaze up to meet mine.- It’s alright. You’re alright. I’ve got you. Just breathe.

-I didn’t know what else to do. I needed her not to panic on me. I needed her to breathe. I needed her and the baby safe. The white wolf had made sure they were both safe, but I was terrified that not being able to remember what had happened was going to break Aurora.-

Rora: ^I had to trust Mal. He knew what was going on with Angel. He was used to be shut out by his wolf. I, however, was not. And it was terrifying that she would go to that extreme. But Mal’s words were an echo in my ear. She was protecting me. She was protecting the baby.

I felt my heart stop as I remembered the last thing Delilah had said before the wolf took over.^ She wanted to give you the opportunity to raise the bitch pup inside of me even if she had no desire to be a mom.

^Angel had eliminated the threat to Dinah. Dinah wasn’t just my and Mal’s child. It was as much hers and Shadow’s. She was just as protective over her as we were. But I still wasn’t calm about what happened. I wasn’t sure I was ever going to be okay with it. How was I supposed to handle being shut out of my own mind. It was terrifying to come out of it. But the snort from across the clearing made me growl. I felt Angel inside of me doing the same thing.

She didn’t like the man in the clearing. It didn’t matter that it was Mal’s older brother. She didn’t trust him. But I had to keep her on a leash. I wasn’t ready for her to come back out again.^ What the fuck does he think is so funny? You being a dad or the dead bitch trying to take my kid away? Because neither option is that funny to me, Dick head!

Mal: -I couldn’t stop the growl as I wheeled around on my brother, taking my attention away from Aurora for a moment. My vision was swimming with how close to surfacing my wolf was. I couldn’t keep the rage under control no matter how hard I tried when I heard that stupid laugh. He was an absolute moron if he thought I was going to tolerate that for even a moment. My eyes were blazing as I glared at him- If you have any idea what is good for you, you will keep every damned opinion you have to yourself right now. There is only one reason you’re alive. I hope you know that, and if you give me even the slightest reason to think you’re going to be more hassle than you’re worth, I’ll figure out another fucking plan that doesn’t require you to still be breathing.

That is my wife. And my child. There is nothing on the face of the Earth I’m more protective over. I’ve killed people for being less of a threat than you’ve been today. I hope you know that, and don’t forget it.

-My fingers itched to wrap around his throat. It was everything I could do not to kill him with my bare hands even in human form. But I needed him. If I was going to have the life I wanted with my wife and my daughter, I didn’t need to have to run a pack on top of that. A quiet life was my idea of heaven, not living in New Orleans and having to deal with the politics and drama that came with that life.

My brother let the amusement melt off his face as I approached him one step at a time. -

Now… I have a little proposition for you, and if you value your life, you’ll take it. I don’t like the idea of running that sorry excuse for a pack that your father has put together, but I’m also not going to leave an ungoverned pack of wolves running amok on my doorstep either. I made a similar deal with Aurora’s brother back in Wyoming when I finished off the rest of them there. You can run things there, but you’re going to hear from me if I hear a single damned thing I don’t like. And trust me when I say you don’t want to hear from me.

-The look on his face was quickly melting into something serious when I mentioned Aurora’s brothers back in Wyoming. I knew he’d had something to do with Derrick here, and I knew he would have an idea of what I was talking about. I was a little surprised when he opened his mouth.

“Then tell me I can kill that asshole Derrick first thing. I didn’t like him from the moment he set foot in our city, no matter what Dad thought of him.”

I wouldn’t have given him that permission without consulting Aurora first, but I didn’t get a chance to even consider an answer before I heard her voice from behind me.-

Aurora: There is no way in hell you are getting to kill Derrick. I get to decide what happens with him. He is my brother. He is the one that decided I needed to die. You may hate him for what he did with the St Pierre pack, but you can’t hate him too much. He gave you a reason to come looking for Malachi.

^The wolf inside of me couldn’t stop with the growling. She hated that there was someone alive that wanted to kill her mate. And that man was standing in front of us. All she could do was pace inside of me. She wanted to be let loose. She wanted nothing more than to destroy the man in front of her. He was a threat to her pup and her Shadow. And nothing would stop her from protecting them.

But it was the step forward I tried to take that made me scream. It felt like something was cramping up. But it was my stomach. Taking a breath, I tried to clear my head of the pain that was coming, but there was no use. The warm trickle of water down my leg ensured that I wasn’t going anywhere.

I knew my eyes were wide with panic as I turned my attention towards my husband. He knew what the fear meant. He knew what I was going to say before I said it. But part of me thought he was waiting for confirmation.^ You have to go find Doc. He needs to be in this clearing now. Dinah’s coming, and she’s not going to wait for anyone.

^I could see the war in his eyes, though. He knew what he needed to do. But he wasn’t sure about leaving me alone in a clearing with his brother. But I knew I had the one thing to keep Zeke from going crazy on me.^ I’ll be fine. Zeke’s not going to hurt me. I can promise that.

^I didn’t focus on my husband as he took off through the trees. But I knew that Zeke wasn’t entirely thrilled about staying here with me. But I did have the one thing he wanted. And I was absolutely prepared to bargain with it.^ All you have to do is stay in the clearing with me, Asshole. You stay here until Mal gets back, you can have my brother. Do whatever you want with him. I am not going through this shit alone. And if that means giving you my brother, you can go collect him from Colette when Malachi gets back. You have my word.

^My words were cut off as another contraction ripped through my body. I couldn’t stand there, though. Standing hurt more. I had to sit. The pain was making me lightheaded. I wasn’t sure how much longer I was going to be able to stand. Laying back against the ground, the only thing I could do was think of the irony. I was going to have my daughter in the same fucking field that her grandfather had died in while arranging the death of her uncle.^ This is psychotic. My child is deranged.

Mal: -I shifted and was gone the minute it hit me that Dinah was on her way. What a time for this kind of thing to hit, but at least I was on my toes. I could scent Tatiana and the doctor in the woods and they weren’t far off. Leah and Logan were there as well. They were all together or at least close to each other. I made a beeline for where the scent was taking me and found them all in another clearing, but it wasn’t what I expected. Leah was only half alive.  Logan was panicked. I could smell it on him.

I couldn’t blame him. I didn’t know what I would have been like if it had been Rora, and she and I weren’t tied in the same way that they were. It was literally life and death for the two of them. Doc was bent over her, but I needed him for Rora. I just didn’t know if he was going to be able to leave here to take care of her too. It was maddening to think he might be torn between here and there.

I needed to shift they needed to know what was going on. Tatiana was still in wolf form, pacing the edge of the clearing. It was only as I shifted that I noticed Cyrus, dead in a mangled heap in the center. I wasn’t sure what had happened to him, but it looked like an absolutely painful end. It was no more than what he deserved.-

Doc! Rora… she’s in labor. The baby is coming. -I didn’t know what else to say. It was the plain and simple truth. And I needed him in a hurry. I had no idea how fast this baby was coming.

My friend was on the ground, and I had no idea if she was going to make it. I could hear her heart fluttering weakly under her ribs. But it was weaker than I’d ever heard it. This was pretty damned serious. I just didn’t know what any of us was going to be able to do for her. Leah had been so excited about this baby. She was going to be an aunt. Now we all just needed to make sure the both of them and Aurora made it through this in one piece.-

Doc: -my attention shot up from Leah on the ground in front of me when I heard Beezer enter the clearing. There was nothing I knew to do for Leah. She was injured, but her body was healing. Broken bones knitted together quickly in a were. Her pack even more so. We’d learned that much early on when I’d gotten here. She healed more quickly than most all her life. It was one of the advantages she had over a lot of other wolves in a fight. For this injury to have knocked her out this cold, it had to be something serious. But even then, there was little I could do except check her neck and spine to see that they’d healed correctly and weren’t going to have to be rebroken and set. I had no idea how long she’d be out. At least, I knew Logan could get her back to the house safely. I glanced up at him as soon as Beezer opened his mouth to let us know that Rora was in labor- Logan, get her back to the house. Her back is healed enough to move her and the only thing we can do for her now is let her rest. Her body has to do the rest.

-I grabbed my bag and looked over to Tati, hoping she would help me out again.- We need to get to Aurora. Can you take me, Love? -I walked forward, running a hand between her ears flat against the back of her head, leaning in to whisper to the wolf- Thank you for helping me, Tati darling.

Tati: *For Spencer, she would do anything. Even before he started rubbing her head. He was the only thing that mattered to her. But she was torn. She knew it would be faster for Logan and Leah if she took them back to the house. But at the same time, trusting Beezer’s wolf was an issue.

She loved Beezer like an older brother. There was no doubt about that. But she wasn’t sure if she could trust the wolf to take care of her mate. And there was no telling if the black wolf would even let Spencer on him. Even if it was to take care of his mate.

But it was Logan’s head shake that solidified what I was doing. He was going to worry about Leah. And he wasn’t going to let her go. Even if it meant walking through the woods on his own. But still, the wolf wouldn’t let that happen. With a soft whine, I felt my wolf’s eyes narrow on Logan. She was giving him a warning. She wanted him to stay where he was. She was going to come back for him and Leah. There was no way she was letting the two of them walk through the woods unprotected. Not when Leah was already down.

I didn’t have to tell her to drop to her stomach again. She just did it and patiently waited for Spencer to be on her back. In a blink, she was following behind Beezer to a clearing. Another growl slipped through her lips seeing Zeke in human form, but it wasn’t something to think about. Spencer slid off of her back, and she watched as both Beezer and Spencer approached Aurora. This was the moment everyone had been waiting for. And of course, the little princess had to make her appearance at the most inopportune moment.

As Aurora let out another screech, my wolf backed out of the clearing. There was nothing there for her. She couldn’t help. But she could help Logan. The steps were the same as the ones she had just taken. But there was an urgency to them. There really wasn’t time to waste. Not when someone’s life was on the line.*

Logan: [I guess I wasn’t taking Leah back to the house. I understood it, though. Tatiana was concerned about us. She hadn’t been entirely on board with all of this, but she knew that we were all trying to protect each other. And I could only hope that she was trying to protect Leah.

As soon as Doc had given the okay, I had her in my arms. There was no way I wasn’t going to keep her as close to me as possible. I needed her to be with me. I had to feel her. I couldn’t just let her slip between my fingertips. I wasn’t ready to let her go. She wasn’t ready to go. It wasn’t her time. Not when Dinah was now on the way.

It was the only thing I could let run through my head. As focused as I was on the spells, I felt the words tumbling from my lips. It didn’t matter if she heard everyone else. What mattered was her paying attention to me. I couldn’t believe that she wasn’t hearing me.] You’re not allowed to die on me, Little Wolf. There is a little girl that is being born at this exact minute. You need to survive just so you can see that little Princess.

[It was the only thing I could think of to talk to her about. She had to know that there was more to this life. There was so much that she was missing. But I didn’t get the chance to say much more as Tatiana walked back into the clearing. She didn’t have Doc with her, but I realized that she wasn’t needed wherever Aurora was. And, at this point, I had no idea where Rora was. She was supposed to be back at the house, but something in my gut told me it wasn’t the case.

But I could only let out a grateful sigh as the wolf lowered herself down to the ground. There was so much I wanted to say to her. But I knew it was all pointless. I didn’t give anyone a moment to think before I had my Little Wolf in my arms and was carrying her to Tatiana. I wasn’t sure how anyone had fared during the fight, but I didn’t care. The person I was most concerned about was my wife. And she was in my arms.

The woods were a green and brown blur as Tats sped through the trees. The entire time I was focused on the woman in my arms and the words rolling through my head. To me, it didn’t matter what Doc said. I didn’t know when or if she was going to wake up. And while he felt she would, it wasn’t something that was certain. So I was powerless. And it was a feeling I didn’t like.

Once we were back at the Treehouse, I didn’t stop for anyone. Nothing inside could take me away from what I needed to do. And what I needed to do was get her upstairs and into our bed. I wanted her to be in the place she loved the most. I needed her to feel like she was protected. I wanted her to be in her own place. Even if I had no idea what was going to happen, I needed her to be protected.]

Mal: -I had no idea what I was doing here. There wasn’t a single child I’d ever seen being born. I was the youngest of three boys. My mother hadn’t even been pregnant while I was alive. I didn’t know what to do or what she needed but I was determined that I wasn’t going to leave her side unless I absolutely had to. Once Tati got Doc here, I shifted and stayed glued to her side.

I was worried once it became clear exactly how much pain she was in, but it came and went with her contractions in waves. There were moments it seemed like the pain was going to be too much to bear and then it would break and leave her panting and wrung out on the ground. I couldn’t help the guilt I had at being the reason she was in this much pain, even though it meant that we were going to have our daughter with us soon. I knew she was as ready for that as I was. Maybe even more so. But at this point, I wouldn’t have blamed her for punching me in the face.

All I could do to help was hold her hand while Doc fussed about making sure everything was coming along the way it was supposed to. He’s been there for the birth of more than a few babies. I wasn’t worried about him being able to make sure both my wife and my daughter made it through this safely. That didn’t mean it was guaranteed. Nothing in life was. We’d made it through so much already that it seemed like everything could come crashing down in a moment now.-

Doc: -Aurora wasn’t going through this process any more quickly than a human woman might have for all she was a werewolf. Shifter births were always unpredictable. Some were fast and hurried. Others took their sweet time. It was the fast ones that were the most dangerous. The fact that Dinah was being patient enough to wait until the contractions came close enough together to make into the world meant she wasn’t in a huge hurry to get here. That was a good sign. It meant that both Aurora and Dinah stood a better chance of making through all of this in one piece.

Her water had already broken when I’d gotten here which meant it was a little late to start trying to move her to the house. It also meant I had no clue exactly how much longer this whole process was going to take. Tatiana had gone back to help Logan get Leah to the house. I was glad they had the help I couldn’t give them. There wasn’t much I could do for her except wait. Here, I was needed and busy.

Soon enough, the contractions had built to the point where I could tell she was coming and fast. I could see the crown of her head with a tuft of dark hair, just like her mother’s and father’s. I looked up to Aurora with a reassuring glance-

I know this hurts, but I need you to listen to me. When the next contraction hits, you have to push. She’s ready and she’s coming. You just have to make it through the last little bit. Only a few more minutes.

-Those last few minutes were the worst — the scariest and the most painful, but neither Beezer nor I were going anywhere.-

We’ve got you. You can do this, Aurora.

Aurora: ^As soon as Mal and Doc were in the clearing, I just nodded my head at Zeke. His part of the deal was done. Him and Mal could talk everything over later. But I didn’t need him to be here when his niece was being born. If I even decided I wanted Zeke to have anything to do with her. It all depended on how he ran the New Orleans pack.

But as Doc told me I could do this, I shook my head. It wasn’t that I couldn’t do it I knew that I could. What I couldn’t do was have my daughter in a clearing with her father’s ex betrothed and her grandfather dead not even five feet away from us. There was no way I was going to bring her into the world like this. And I didn’t care what the two of them had to do to get me out of this situation.

My voice was a low growl as Mal came to kneel by my head.^ You either clear this area of the two dead bodies, or you move me. She’s not coming into the world like this. I refuse to let her be born around this kind of destruction.

^I could see him pause as I brought up the destruction. And I knew his mind went straight to his wolf. I could see the concern in his eyes. He wasn’t sure what the wolf thought of our daughter. And it wasn’t something I had ever asked him about. But I knew the truth. If Angel was protective over her, Shadow would be just as protective. It was his little girl, too.^ I’m not blaming our wolves, Malachi. They did what they had to do to protect our child. All of this was for her. I do not look at him like a monster. He protected us. And that makes me love him that much more. But you need to figure out a situation so that Dinah isn’t born next to your ex and her dead grandfather. I’m not kidding.

Mal: -She had a point. It was something I’d been too caught up in the moment to notice, but it wasn’t exactly the most ideal place to being our daughter into. Something was going to have to get done about it. I just had to decide what. It was far too late to consider moving Aurora. Dinah was coming here whether we liked it or not. But that didn’t mean that these two bodies needed to stay here.

What had happened needed to happen, but sitting around the evidence of it all was unnecessary. I leaned down and kissed my wife on the forehead- Give me a minute. I’ll get it fixed. -then leaving to drag the evidence of what had happened off Into the woods. That was better than both of them deserved, but it was what they were going to get. There was no one left to mourn my father anyway. I knew there was going to be no love lost between he and Zeke. My mother was the only one of us with a kind enough heart to care what had happened to him, and she was long gone, by his own hand. He’d dug his own grave. So had Delilah when she tied their destinies together.

It was only a moment before I got back to where I was really and truly needed right now. Grabbing my wife’s hand, I took my place back by her side-

Doc: -I hadn’t known what Aurora was waiting for until she’d spoken. It was going to happen sooner or later whether she liked it or not, but it was a relief that Beezer worked quickly to clear the clearing of the corpses. If Aurora didn’t want them here it was only going to hinder the progress of what was going on if we kept them here.

When he rejoined the two of us, I knit my brows together before checking on the progression of the baby-

Alright Aurora, push when you’re ready.

Aurora: ^I didn’t exactly want to push, but I knew the truth. There was no stopping it. And I was so ready to have Dinah be a part of our lives. I was ready for her to meet her Grandma Colette. She needed to be here for her Aunt Leah and Uncle Logan. It was absolutely time for Dinah Colette to grace us with her presence.

But I also knew that this was going to be the truly painful part. It was time for me to push a baby out of my body. And there was nothing I wanted more. I wanted her to come out with her Daddy holding me and supporting me. I wanted her to realize that this was our family. Everyone currently in the Treehouse was family.

I let out a loud groan as I started pushing. I could hear Malachi softly counting into my ear. And then there was Doc. I wasn’t sure I could do this without him. And I needed him to understand that. But now wasn’t going to be the time to tell him.

Mal started to rub my shoulders as I took a small break from pushing our child out. The last thing I needed was to put too much pressure on myself and Dinah. Or else she would never come out.

I didn’t wait for long before I was back to pushing. And the screams just kept getting louder with each push. This was not a pleasant experience, but it was something I’d have gone through a million times if it meant I had my daughter at the end of it.^

Doc: -This was the point at which a million things could have gone wrong. I needed to pay attention to everything that was going on with Aurora and the baby. Dinah was coming no matter what any of us did, but I needed to keep the both of them as safe as I possibly could. Everything was about timing, when to push, when to stop and let her breathe, when to finally pull the baby free. It took experience, patience, and a cool head. It was my job to be the cool head here while the parents completely lost their cool. That was exactly what they were supposed to do.

This was probably the most painful thing anyone ever did in their life, but Aurora was handling it like a champ as she breathed through a few pushes. A first baby always took longer than any subsequent births. Dinah was no exception to this rule. It was something every woman who had children went through, but it was usually the last thing they remembered after their long awaited baby finally arrived.

It wasn’t long before the final push came, and Dinah nearly fell into my arms. She immediately began crying, a strong, loud cry, without any help from me. She was strong, but that was no surprise considering who her parents were. I tugged off the sweatshirt I was wearing, pulling it over my head with one hand while cradling the baby in the other arm until I needed to free that arm from the sleeve. She needed to be wrapped in something. It was still early spring, and even if we were in the deep south, the air was crisp and cool. It had been a cold winter, leaving her out to the cold was the last thing a newborn baby needed.

I used the sleeve to clean her face, before passing her up to her mother who was only halfway upright due to the enormous man holding her up.- Well, I know this is no surprise, but it appears that you have a daughter.

Mal: -Doc handed the baby to Aurora first. That was exactly where she needed to be. All babies wanted their mothers, and I was determined that this little girl was going to get all the things I hadn’t gotten. She was going to keep her mother in her life as long as I could manage. I needed Aurora just as much as Dinah was going to. The two of them had become my whole world, even if I’d gotten distracted from it in the past few weeks. The core of it all was me trying to protect the two of them from everything that could come after them. I was determined that I was going to keep things safe however I could. But in the same token, I was going to be as much a part of both their lives as I could manage. That meant I was going to need to make sure someone else was running things in Casper and New Orleans. I made a mental note to make sure Zeke understood exactly what was at stake here, and that if I felt even a little insecure about things this close to my wife and daughter, he was going to pay the price for it.

For now I had the two of them in my arms, and I wasn’t going to let them go until I had to. I’d been supporting Aurora through all of this, and I didn’t intend to let her down now. My daughter looked remarkably like her mother, even only a few minutes after being born. It was kind of amazing, and I had to admit I was glad she looked so much like her. The two of them were pretty much a fucking miracle as far as I was concerned. The two things I never thought I was going to get had saved me more than they could ever know. -

Angel girl, you were amazing. I hope you never forget that.

-I pressed a kiss to her shoulder, keeping her pulled tight against my chest while I supported her weight and let her relax a little. I was going to need to get the both of them back to the house soon. I could handle that. Carrying the two of them wasn’t going to be hard at all. I just needed to give her a moment to rest before I tried any of that. I needed to make sure they were going to be alright.-

Aurora: ^This was where I wanted to be. I had a crying little girl in my arms and a husband who could only stare at the two of us. This was our family. Doc was there simply to check on how the two of us were doing. He wanted everything to be okay for us. And that's why I trusted him so much. This was something he loved doing. And now that things were smoother with Tatiana, I didn’t see them leaving.

Dinah was going to have more Aunts and Uncles than she knew what to do with. And that was because her father had built a family in this area. He had the siblings that he wanted. There was no one that lived here that he didn’t want to deal with. Once everything was squared away with the New Orleans Pack, I knew that Mal’s focus was going to be on the two of us. I trusted Trent to take care of the Casper pack.

But I knew I was going to have to talk Mal into going back up there. I didn’t want Dinah to have a strained relationship with her grandmother or her Uncle Trent. I wanted her to know the people that did actually love me unconditionally. And I knew there were more than a few benefits to a spur of the moment visit. It wouldn’t give any one time to prepare. And I needed the peace of mind that Trent was absolutely running things properly.

I also wanted to be the one to break the news about Derrick. They needed to know the truth. And it was a truth I wasn’t even ashamed of anymore. I had bargained with his life. Because his life was what kept me and Dinah safe. I wasn’t even sure what had happened to Zeke. I wasn’t sure if he had just taken Derrick from Colette and left, or if there was more to the story. And the truth was, I didn’t care. I was exhausted. And Doc looked more than a little antsy to get back to Tatiana.

Looking up to my husband, I gave him a tired smile. It seemed like he knew what I wanted before I even said it. I was wrapped up in his arms as he stood. The walk back to the treehouse was easy. Doc was still a little concerned about Dinah, but Mal and I knew the truth. She was a Wheeler. She was going to be strong. She’d survive all of this just because she could.

I tried to focus on the man that was carrying me, but I always came back to the little one I held close to my chest. I had felt a small dash of disappointment when she was placed in my arms. I had been hoping she would look just like Malachi. But the truth was that she was all me. And that was something Malachi had wanted the most.

Doc started to run a little ahead of us as the Treehouse came into view. I wasn’t sure what had happened since I had left the living room to go find Mal, but I knew that I was worn out. And with a tiny baby in my arms, it was a wonder that I was still fully functioning. But, Malachi knew me better than I expected. Avoiding the main room, he took the back stairs up to the kitchen. It was a short walk to our room. And as soon as he placed me down on the bed, he slowly stripped me of my clothes before changing into a pair of sleep pants and a plain white tee. Our daughter was taken from my arms as my eyes started to grow heavy. But I knew she was safe. There was nowhere safer than her Daddy’s arms.^

#AlreadyChokingOnMyPride

[incolddecember-blog]

Building It Up To Break It Back Down (SL with @DoNoHarm_)

Spencer: -We were back at home, but I didn’t know for how long. I felt completely torn in half here. I was a scientist, first and foremost, or at least I thought I was. I hadn’t been able to use a bit of it to help Tati though. She was no better off after having met me than she had been before. The most I’d been able to accomplish had been to figure out that her shifting was tied to Mercury and its orientation to Earth rather than the moon like most shifters. Maybe studying weres and shifters wasn’t the most scientific thing to begin with. It had always had the element of the supernatural about it, but I’d convinced myself that the supernatural was only what we didn’t have sufficient science to explain. Yet, here I was willing to put all of this into the hands of magic. Logan claimed he was going to be able to help Tatiana, and I sincerely hoped that he could. There would be nothing I’d like more than to be the wrongest and least scientific doctor on the face of the planet where all of this was concerned. I needed her to have something here. I needed her to have some sense of control of her life and her shifting. I wanted her to not be afraid of her own body and the cage that she felt trapped in every time Mercury was in retrograde. No potion or medicine or treatment I’d been able to concoct in all this time had ever done that for her for even a moment. Nothing was strong enough to overcome the power that the wolf and that planet held over her. So if we had to put it into the hands of magic to handle then so be it. I knew she was terrified, but I wasn’t going anywhere no matter what this cost me. I was also slightly terrified of what it would cost her. I knew Leah. I knew she would do almost anything to protect her family, and I knew she was touchy, pushing things perhaps too far to make sure that happened. It left Tati feeling like she was going to be used. I didn’t think it was something Leah was capable of, but I didn’t know how a crisis would change things. And I didn’t want either one of them to regret the outcome of this when all was said and done. I was putting my trust in Beezer to make sure that didn’t happen. He knew what it was like to be under someone else’s control, to be forced to do things you didn’t want to for a cause you didn’t believe in. That was all I had. I had to rely on his strength to overcome the strength I didn’t have, because in this group at least, I was nothing, a mere human. Any one of them could have taken me out in a blink, even Rora in the state she was in. I would have been nothing to them. There was nothing I could to to protect a single one of them, not even the woman I loved. It was a weird feeling being entirely helpless. I didn’t know what to tell Tati either. I didn’t know if we should run and hide and wait all this out or join the rest of them. I didn’t know if we even had a choice in the end for all that everyone was telling us. I was just going to go with her whatever she decided. That was all I had. I’d start over anywhere as long as she was at my side. She was in the next room pacing. I could hear her footsteps on the floor as she was working out what she wanted to do. I’d told her as soon as we’d arrived back at home that I was putting it all in her hands. She could decide if she wanted to stay and work at this or leave. I wasn’t going to push her into anything she didn’t want for a moment, no matter what the chances were that she was going to be able to walk out of this in control of her wolf. I couldn’t do that to her. I wouldn’t do that to her. It had to be her call completely.- Tati: *I didn’t have answers for Spencer. I knew that that was what he was waiting for. He wanted me to make a decision. And whatever decision I made, he was going to support it. That’s who he was. Spencer knew enough about who I was to know that this was a decision he wasn’t going to be able to debate. He could tell me what he thought was the correct move. He could tell me what he would do. But he couldn’t make the decision for me. And I loved him for understanding. But what I needed was him in the same room with me. With each step I took, I placed my hand on the door to his office. That’s where he was hiding while I tried to figure out what I was going to do. Every instinct inside of me was screaming for me to run. I didn’t want to be here for this. I didn’t want to be a weapon. But there was one person that wasn’t going to let me be a weapon. To me, it was funny to see that the one person I had been the most terrified of was the one person who wanted to protect me in all of this. Beezer had been used as a weapon, and he understood my hesitance. He knew what I had seen the moment I was told that I needed to fight. And he understood the reason I was afraid to shift. Even if we did get my ability to shift under control, I didn’t know what kind of temperament I was going to have. The last comment that had been made to me before we came back to our place had been thinking about moving into the Treehouse. I understood why Beezer wanted it. He wanted everyone close. But it also gave everyone the chance to stand watch as I figured out what the hell I was doing. And that was what scared me. I knew I was different. I knew that because of when and why I shifted, I was different. But the part that scared me was everyone seeing just how much bigger I got as a wolf. There was no denying that I was bigger than an alpha. I was as fast as one, too. But being controlled by Mercury made things a little more difficult to handle. I wasn’t nice. I could be more brutal than anyone could predict. There was no way to figure out exactly what kinds of issues I had because of how I was controlled. There hadn’t been a wolf that had ever been controlled by Mercury. No one was sure of what I was capable of. The one thing I knew was that I made sure to put myself out in the middle of nowhere for each shift. Stopping at the door to Spencer’s office, I could only think about how dangerous all of this was. And the last thing I wanted was to worry about Spencer every time I was training. But I knew I couldn’t be at the Treehouse without him.* You can’t be around me when they fuck around with my shifting. You have to stay in the house with Aurora. Examine her, keep her calm, I don’t care. But you cannot be anywhere near me. That’s the only way I can do this. Spencer: -I looked up when I heard her in the doorway. I knew Tati was there before she even spoke, but I waited until she started talking before I looked up from my desk with a half smile. There were about a million emotions swirling around in my head, but there was no way seeing her in the doorway to my office was not going to pull a smile to my face. I heard what she was saying, and I knew she was right. It was going to be hard enough for her to work on this whole shifting thing without worrying about me or everyone else who was watching. But I had a feeling, just from the conversation we’d had on the ride home, that Beezer wasn’t going to let any of that happen. He had more of an understanding of this process than I ever would, and there would forever be that in common between them. It was simultaneously frustrating that I couldn’t be there for her in that respect, and comforting that there was at least someone who could be. Whatever I had to do to help her in this process would be important. If that meant I had to stay shut away in the house when it all started, then I’d stay shut away in the house. I’d read books and check on Aurora or just work on researching something, anything to keep me out of the way until she got this under control. - You know I’ll do whatever you need, and I don’t think Beezer is going to let any of us out of the house unless it’s absolutely necessary. He’s probably more protective than you are, if that’s even possible. -letting out a breath and walking over to her to rest my hands on her arms- And I mean whatever you need… you know that right? Tati: *I didn’t know how to do any of this. I wasn’t sure how to agree to anything. I was still scared. I had a million and one thoughts running through my head, and I still couldn’t get myself to focus. The weight of Spencer’s hands on my arms made things a little clearer though. I knew I could tell him whatever was running through my mind, and he wouldn’t judge me for it. My words were soft as I felt my head fall forward. My chin meeting my chest as I let out a soft sigh.* I need you. That’s what I need. I need to know that even if we decide to do this, I can still leave whenever I want. Even if it’s in the middle of the night. I need to be able to run. *The panic was starting to set in as I thought about what I was doing. The power I was handing over to someone that wasn’t Spencer. I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t like the idea of it. None of it made me feel any better. I didn’t feel safe. And that was a dangerous feeling to have.* I don’t like the idea of leaving our house. But you need to be close to Aurora. I know you’re starting to get a little nervous since she’ll probably have the baby soon. And I know you want to be close in case she has any problems. So let’s pack our stuff and move into the Treehouse with a bunch of people that want to use me in a fight. Spencer: -I could hear the defeat in her voice. I didn’t know if this was what she really wanted to do, or just what she thought she needed to do. And I didn’t know the right course of action to take myself. There was no telling where any of this was going to lead, or if we were going to regret it when all was said and done. It held the potential to be a good thing in the end, getting rid of the St. Pierre pack for once and for all, giving Tati a chance to control her shifting and her wolf finally, giving the rest of the shifters around here a safe place to be. And in the same token, or rather on the other side of the same coin, the possibility existed that things could end up far worse, that we could lose it all and everyone that mattered to us, or that we could just replace Amos St. Pierre with something worse. Nothing was certain, and while I tended towards optimism, I had to admit that this was all a little more than my optimism could handle. I had to rely on hope, at the least the bit of hope I could muster for all of this. I let my hands slide up Tati’s arms to pull her into my chest as I wrapped my own around her slender frame- Tati, we don’t have to do anything here. We don’t owe anyone anything, but if this is something you want to try then we can give it a try. And if you decide you want to run in the middle of the night then all you have to do is say so. We can go any time. I’ll make sure of it. Tati: *He was right to a degree. We didn’t have to do anything. I didn’t have to be a part of this fight. But I owed it to Beezer to try and fight. I owed it to him to try and get the shifting under control. I didn’t owe it to anyone else. And if push came to shove, I was going to let everyone know that fact. Beezer was the only reason I was toying with the idea. I could feel myself start to shake as Spencer wrapped me up in his arms. The only thing I could do was cling to him. As much as I wanted to do this for Beezer, I was also doing this for Spencer. I needed to be able to control my shifting. I didn’t like leaving him when Mercury took control. I didn’t like leaving him unprotected. But I didn’t have much of a choice. It was either leave him or hurt him. And I couldn’t hurt Spencer. He meant everything to me, and I wasn’t ever going to risk him.* Even if I don’t do this for me, I need to have the ability to change at will for you. I don’t like leaving you alone when I have to shift. I’d feel guilty if anything happens. I need to be in control of myself for you. Spencer: -I pulled her closer into my chest, just letting her breathe until the shudders that wracked her body subsided, my hands running lightly across her back until she was just breathing evenly. She was going to try, but I wasn’t going to let her go too far with all of this. I refused to let her get herself lost in all of this, and I hoped Beezer was going to refuse as well. I had faith that he was going to help her to the best of his ability. And in the end faith was all I could manage to have. I had no way of knowing how any of this was going to turn out, but I knew that in the end I was going to do whatever was best for Tati. Hopefully, this decision was going to turn out to be the best for all of us. Only time would tell.- Then we go. I’ll be right here no matter what happens. You don’t have to do this for me. You and I are what we are no matter what comes of all of this. I hope you know that. -That was all I knew to tell her. I was going to be here no matter what. She needed to know that there wasn’t going to be anything that happened short of death that was going to take me from her. I was fairly certain she wouldn’t believe it, no matter how often I told her. But I was going to say it no matter what.- #BuildingItUpToBreakItBackDown

[slowlyseekingsecrets-blog]

I'd Sink Us To Swim (SL With @WeBothGoMissing)

Amiee: *I wasn’t sure about anything these days. I knew that I trusted Leah. But there were things that were ringing in my ears after the showdown at the Treehouse. I knew there were going to be so many questions when I showed up with Colette. But the thing I hadn’t known was Colette attacking Logan the way she did. But to be fair, I could understand her reasoning. The moment Colette and I had stepped foot out of my car, both Leah and Logan treated her as if she wasn’t there. But I could understand their reasoning. Leah didn’t open up to people she didn’t know. She’d been hurt too many times in her life was my only guess. It was the only reason anyone kept people at arm’s length. The running joke around the Treehouse was that Leah adopted strays. But I saw it differently. She didn’t adopt us. Yes, she gave everyone a place to get back on their feet. Sometimes she’d set them up with jobs. It always depended on if she had a business she was ready to walk away from. I had lucked into the bookstore. I didn’t want much. I just needed a place to call my own. And a space where I could try to learn about my magic. I knew some. I knew enough to keep the wards up at the Treehouse. But they weren’t strong. There was no doubt in my mind about that. Logan was the wildcard for me. But in the twenty four hours I had known him, I knew that he was completely loyal to Leah. He was there for her in a way that none of us were. Those of us that had been brought in felt like we owed her for giving us a place to live. Logan was there because Leah was there. He was there to protect her. He wanted to be where she was. And if she said she wanted to go somewhere tomorrow, I had the feeling that he’d bend over backwards to make it happen. But instead of him being back with Leah, he was in a car with me while we drove to New Orleans. I couldn’t fault Colette for telling me to go get Josh. She was right. If anyone was there that could be used as a pawn against us, we owed it to them to get them out and keep them safe. I just wasn’t sure how to approach the situation. How did I ask him to come with me when I ran from him. Was I supposed to bear my soul to him? Tell him everything that needed to be said before he agreed to come with me? It wasn’t going to be easy. The only thing I could do was agonize over all of this.* I should have come alone. I can do this alone. Logan: [I could only scoff at the girl sitting next to me as she drove further away from where I wanted to be. I didn’t like the idea of separating from Leah, but everyone was right. Amiee couldn’t get in and out of New Orleans on her own. There was no way we were going to risk her going in and out without problems as long as witches were involved. And I could only imagine what kind of witches were in the St. Pierre pack. I didn’t have much information on anyone, but I knew of the curse that had been put on Beezer. It was something Leah and I had talked about at length before coming to the Treehouse. She wanted me to be aware that he had days where he wasn’t sure he could continue. I knew of the source, and with that kind of spell, I knew she was strong. Amiee didn’t have that kind of power in her. Both Colette and I knew it. We could sense it. I could tell Colette actually practiced her magic. I didn’t, but I had been trained to use it. Amiee was different. She didn’t have control. And she didn’t know what she was doing. She wasn’t going to be able to protect herself or the guy we were going to pick up. She didn’t have the focus. I could tell already.] Throw up a ward. Split your focus. Cast the spell while you’re driving. Amiee: *I could feel my eyes go wide as Logan said I needed to throw up wards in the middle of a drive. It wasn’t as easy as that. I couldn’t just divert half of my attention to casting a spell while keeping the two of us safe in the car. It wasn’t as easy as he was making it out to be. But I needed to prove him wrong. I needed him to see that I could do this I could have been on this trip without him. But this was part of the magic. The chip on my shoulder, the anger, made it easier to connect to the world around me. I felt it start to flow through me as the words slipped through my mind. But as soon as it was there, it was gone. I could see the smug smile on Logan’s face as we kept speeding toward New Orleans.* I don’t need the magic to get me in and out of New Orleans. And no one here knows I’m even associated with Leah. I don’t need to cast spells every three seconds. I don’t need to keep the wards up. I don’t need you. *The dark clouds were quickly forming, and I was mildly happy that we were in the middle of hurricane season. It wasn’t entirely unusual for the weather to change at the drop of a hat. The heat and humidity made rain a constant possibility. The heavy drops flowed like frustrated tears. And I knew that Logan was right about some things. I didn’t have complete control over my magic. But that was something I knew. I knew that the more upset or angry I got, the more my magic worked. But it was different having someone sitting next to you pushing at you. It made every inch of self doubt creep up. It made everything come into question. It made me vulnerable. I didn’t know how to handle vulnerable. And that had been the reason I had run from Josh in the first place. I wasn’t sure how to handle being vulnerable with him.* Thank you for making me realize how much of a failure I am. Logan: You’re not a failure. You’re new to this. Colette and I both know and understand that. It’s something we’re going to work on when we get back to the Treehouse. But you can’t pretend to be in control, Amiee. That’s not how any of this works. The moment you think you can do everything on your own is the moment you make a monumental mistake. [My words were serious. I needed her to understand the hard truth in being a witch. You could never think you needed no one. You were always going to need someone. It was a big reason as to why I never practiced my magic until Leah came into the picture.] Colette practices voodoo. I specialize in blood magic. And you’re working with the Earth and elements. Your magic is more pure than mine or Colette’s. Your kind of magic is the root of our magic. We’ll help you get in control, Amiee. The thing is that you cannot do this on your own. [I wasn’t sure how much to tell her, but I figured the only way to get her to trust me was to be open with her. She needed to know the truth, and if that meant telling her my story, I could do that. I could tell her some stuff I hadn’t exactly gotten around to telling Leah.] I didn’t start practicing magic until I met Leah. That wasn’t that long ago. I had been trained to use it, but I had made a promise to my mother that I wouldn’t use it. She had been raised in a coven, and hated it. She hated the power they tried to tie her down with. [I could only shake my head as I thought about my mother for the first time in years. Not since her death. The last time I had been to the backwaters of Alabama. And now I was in Louisiana. Closer to Alabama than I wanted to be. But for my wife, I’d have done anything.] My mother had wanted to give up the magic. She didn’t agree with the coven for what they used it for. Punishment and retribution. They controlled the surrounding area because they were feared. My mother was a kind person. She didn’t like the idea of hurting someone else. So she left. [My eyes found the girl sitting next to me as I took a break from the story. I wasn’t completely sure how to explain the rest of it. I didn’t know how to tell Amiee about the consequences of turning your back on those around you. I didn’t know how to tell her about the price I was going to have to pay in the near future.] Amiee: *There was more to the story. I knew there was. And Logan was right. Elemental magic was the root of both his and Colette’s magic. Whatever they did was tied into the Earth. And I hated to admit that Logan was right. I needed him and Colette to teach me how to control everything. But I could tell he was getting lost in whatever was haunting him. And it made me ache to see him like this. Leah was going to kill me if she found out about it. But I couldn’t bring myself to tell him to stop. I couldn’t tell him that I needed to know this. Because the truth was that I did. I had to know this if I wanted to be in control. Any piece of information I could gather from Logan or Colette about how they control their magic was going to help me control mine. I wasn’t going to assume that this was going to work for me, but it was going to help me figure out what was going to work for me. And that was the thing I needed the most. I needed to figure out what was going to help me control my magic.* Logan: [I could see Amiee wanted to say something. She wanted to ask a question, but was holding her tongue. I could feel the fact that she was curious. She was being serious about her magic. And she wanted to learn how I had done it. How I had the control even though I didn’t practice it.] My mom met my dad. They fell in love, got married, and eventually had me. I was a kid when I figured out what was going on. I could tie myself to people. But I didn’t know what I was doing. My mother did. And from the time I was about five years old until I turned sixteen she trained me. She taught me everything about our magic. But she told me I wasn’t to ever use it. Blood magic always came with a price. She hadn’t paid hers yet. But I was to never use it. Not until I found a woman I wanted to bind myself with for the rest of my life. It wasn’t until Leah that I was ready. I found someone I could bind myself to. [Shaking my head, I turned my attention back to the road in front of us. We weren’t far from New Orleans now. To me, it didn’t matter. We were going to make this trip as fast as possible. In and out of the city. I didn’t like the idea of Colette being the only witch at the Treehouse. It felt like I had left them unprotected.] Leah and I are bound together. She is my anchor to my magic. She makes it stronger. It’s my love for her that makes protecting her and everyone in the Treehouse vital for me. I don’t use the sinister part of my magic. Everything I’ve done was for the greater good of those I have chosen to protect. You need to figure out what will be that for you. If it’s this guy, then you need to be honest with him. Don’t try to protect him from all of this by leaving him in the dark. It’s going to be a lot to handle. But we’ll have people who can help him get comfortable with the idea. I want to protect both of you, but keeping him in the dark isn’t going to be the way to do it. Amiee: *I could only focus on the road ahead of me. The landscapes were quickly changing from trees and forests to cities and towns. I wasn’t entirely sure Logan was right, though. Maybe protecting Josh meant not telling him everything. Maybe it was keeping him in the dark. But as my tongue flicked against the piercing in my cheek, I knew the truth. Keeping Josh in the dark about everything wasn’t going to be to protect him. It was going to protect me. It was just another side of me that he wasn’t going to see. It kept some sort of mystery about me. It kept me protected. It didn’t give Josh more ammunition to hurt me with later. If I told him everything, he had another weapon. Another reason to leave me when he, inevitably, decided I wasn’t worth it. I wasn’t entirely sure what to do. I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to pull him out of his lie. I didn’t want to bother him. But I knew there was only so much I could do. There was too much at risk to let him live his life in oblivion. There was too much at risk for anyone to stay in the dark. Besides, if he was going to the Treehouse, he was going to have to know things. There was going to be too many questions. Conversations were going to be overheard. He was going to have questions. But I still wasn’t sure I was ready for this. I was barely ready to go face to face with Josh. How in the hell was I supposed to tell him everything else that went along with being a part of my life?* #IdSinkUsToSwim

[treehouseadventures]

Already Choking On My Pride

Rora: ^It had been way too long. I didn’t get time to spend with my husband anymore. It didn’t matter that I was pregnant and freaking out. It was more important to have everyone be ready for the fight. I understood it. There was no room for error with the St. Pierre pack. Especially not if Derrick was with them. I just didn’t have to like the idea of this happening. I didn’t have to like that everyone else in the Treehouse got to spend more time with my husband than I did.

I kept myself occupied. I read, I hung around with Josh, I tried to keep Spencer busy with doing exams on Dinah. I think it was something that kept all of us from thinking about what was going on around us. We were the three that were the most out of place. Both Josh and Doc were humans. Neither of them had a place in this fight. But it was the people that they cared about that brought them here.

But both of them had their other halves to decompress with at night. It felt like Mal would come back from a training session just to go into strategy meetings with Leah and Logan. By the time he would come back to our room, either I was asleep or he was within minutes of laying down. It was the only time I had him. And I was going insane.

I put the happy smile on for everyone, though. I made sure that no one in the house knew how I was really feeling. I didn’t want them to know that I felt like I was losing my husband. I felt like I was getting Beezer. A man my husband had never been for me. There was a wall up. And I was the reason that wall was up. If I hadn’t have come here, I would have never brought this upon him.

Everyone could try to tell me that I was wrong, but I knew the truth. I knew that I did this to him and Leah. I made him go back to something he hated being. And it was a guilt that ate at me. It was made worse by the absence. But I didn’t talk about that. I didn’t need to remind everyone that I was the reason this was happening. I didn’t need to be the girl that demanded her husband spend time with her when everything wrong was going on around me.

But he had noticed that something was wrong. That’s how we ended up here. Running. We were both in wolf form, but I knew it was a matter of time until one of us shifted. And with my mind where it was, I felt the attention of my wolf slip. She normally stayed right next to the black wolf that she loved so much. But today was different. She was at least a step or two behind him. And I couldn’t stop her from letting out the pained howl before I shifted back into my human form. There was too much pain to keep myself focused on her. It was the one time my shifting failed me. If there was too much going on in my head, I couldn’t keep her out. And it was breaking me today. I didn’t want to have this conversation. I wanted to be a wolf. I wanted to be away from the pain. But how was I supposed to do that when I was running with the one thing that didn’t seem to understand the source of all that pain?

I felt myself crumble into a ball as the tears started to pour down my cheeks. The sobs were tearing through my chest, and I didn’t know what I could do to stop them. I hated this. I hated this feeling. And I hated being so out of control. But I was lost for the first time in a very long time, and I felt like I had no one to turn to.^

Malachi: -Running was usually something that Aurora and I loved to do together, but it had been so long since the two of us had any time together, to run or just exist. I missed how things had been before all of this had come crashing down on our heads, but then we’d known this was coming since the beginning. They were going to find her eventually, and finding her meant finding me. I was going down to the last breath to keep her safe. 

But here she was in the woods shifting back into a human before the black wolf knew what was going on. He adored her. He’d have done anything for her. And he had no idea how to help her. He walked over, whining and nuzzling against her for the moment before he let me free again. She needed me. 

I knelt down on the ground next to her, brushing her hair back off her face and wishing I could just help her stop like magic.- Angel, I’m right here. 

-I leaned down and scooped her gently up into my arms, hoping this was the right thing because it was all I knew how to do.-

Rora: ^I was almost more comfortable with Shadow. There was something about the wolf. Regardless of what was going on, I was always his number one priority. And if, for some reason, it wasn’t me that was in the front of his mind, it was my wolf. And that was something I understood. But I could only cry harder as I was pulled into my husband’s arms.

My belly was rounder than it had ever been. And I knew Dinah was due any day. She kept me from completely curling up in his lap. And at the moment, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. I didn’t know if I actually wanted to be in this spot. But some part of me knew that he was suffering as much as I was. That didn’t mean that it made anything easier.

My voice was harsh as I struggled to pull myself away from the man I had married. I had Colette’s words ringing through my head from our marriage. This was going to be the test of her magic. This was going to be the moment that I either destroyed him or made him stronger. And I wasn’t sure which one it was going to be. I just knew that he needed to know everything.^

I don’t know, Malachi. Doesn’t seem like you’ve been anywhere near me since everyone got here. Or maybe I’m just referring to you the wrong way. Because it feels like the only way I can get an answer out of you is if I call you Beezer. So do I have to become like Leah and Amiee and Tatiana and Logan? Do I have to start calling you Beezer to get your attention? That is not something I have ever done. It’s not something I have ever needed to do. But the moment everyone else is around, it feels like you’ve forgotten that I don’t call you Beezer. I don’t like the Beezer persona. I don’t like the Beezer wall. Because you’ve shut Malachi off from me. And I don’t know how to handle it.

Malachi: I’m sorry I’ve been such a shit husband lately. -it took all the self control I had in me to keep from breaking into tears when she called me Beezer. It wasn’t something I’ve ever heard her call me. I didn’t even know if she wanted me around with the way she was talking. Things had been stressful lately, and I reverted back to what I knew when I was stressed out. I hadn’t had as much time to give her lately  

She’d pulled herself out of my arms and it felt like someone had ripped my heart out with her.- I’m sorry. Just please don’t call me that. I’m not that to you. And I didn’t ever want to be that for you. I’d rather you punched me right in the face. 

-I wanted to pull her back into my arms, but I wasn’t going to force her into that if it wasn’t where she wanted to be. I wanted all this to be over so I didn’t have to be that, but until then that part of me was a necessary evil sometimes. I was bad at figuring out when to turn it off. It broke me a little to know I’d made her feel that way- I’m sorry. 

Aurora: ^I could only shake my head at him. I knew the truth. This was hard for both of us. The stress of what was happening was killing us. And if we weren’t careful, we were going to lose everything. And that was the last thing I wanted.

But I needed to hear that he was sorry. I had to make him realize what was bothering me so much. I needed him to know that this was not easy for me. It never had been. I didn’t hesitate before throwing myself back into his arms. In all actuality, it was the only place I ever felt completely safe. And I knew he was doing all of this for me. He was forcing himself to be Beezer to protect me. But Beezer wasn’t what I needed. I needed Malachi. I needed the man I had fallen in love with. I needed my husband. My words were shaky as I tried to gather myself.^

Don’t be Beezer around me. Don’t throw up walls with me. I’m the last person that needs it, Mal. I understand you need that side of you to protect me. I understand it has to come out when you’re planning with Leah or training Tatiana. But I still need my husband. I need you to come back to me. I haven’t left yet. I love you too much to walk away, but I need my husband. I don’t need the shell of a man you were before I got here.

Malachi: -I gasped in shock when she threw herself back into my arms. It half reminded me of the way she’d nearly thrown herself into my arms on the day we’d met. It was second nature to wrap my arms around her and crush her to my chest. I wouldn’t have had it any other way. 

I hated that I’d reverted back to something I was before she came along. I’d lead a long life of nothing but that though, so it was easy to fall back on my instincts and what I’d been raised to be. She made that different, but I needed to protect her so I had something to go on living for after all of this was done. If she was gone, the voices came back, she wasn’t here anymore nothing was much worth any of the fight. I needed her, and I loved her beyond reason.-

I love you, Angel. I’m sorry, and If you walked away I don’t think I’d be able to handle it. I love you way too much to just be able to let you go without it pulling my entire world apart. I’m yours. I hate all of this. I hate that I’m that person even when I need to be. 

-I pressed a kiss to the edge of her temple, keeping her near as possible even if her belly was there between us. I  hoped all of this was going to be over sooner rather than later. I needed my wife and my daughter safe. I needed my family safe. And this shadow hanging over all of us was more than any of us really ought to have lived with.- 

Aurora: ^That was the thing that he needed to realize. I wasn’t going to walk away. Not as long as he remembered that I needed him as much as everyone else needed him. And I realized that he was being pulled in a million different directions. I knew that dropping that wall was always going to be hard. But I was really the only person that should have mattered. I should have been the one that was kept in that wall with him. But he had forced me out. I couldn’t pretend that it didn’t hurt. I could say that I understood it until I was blue in the face. And I did understand it. But I didn’t have to like it.

I didn’t want to spend all of our time like this, though. I wanted everything to be like it had once been. Even if we were ignoring everything around us. I needed him to know that this was what I wanted.^ I don’t want you to hate yourself. I want you to understand that as much as I am not a fan of Beezer, he is still a part of you. It’s not a part of you that I like very much, but he is still a part of you. But he’s a part of you that doesn’t understand how much you need me.

^Sighing softly, I just looked at my hands for a second. There was still a lot I needed to say.There was a lot that we needed to discuss, and I still wasn’t entirely sure how to go about it. I guess the only way to do it was to just tell him everything. I needed to explain why all of this hurt. Regardless of how much I understood. I needed to tell him in a logical and not necessarily emotional way.^

I understand that everyone needs you. I know that you’re the driving force in protecting everyone. And that’s something that makes me love you even more. But while you’re giving everyone else a part of you, I’m being left behind. And I understand that this is the one thing that needs to happen. You need to be able to protect me in the best way possible. But I don’t want your protection to come at the cost of our relationship. We need each other, Malachi. Don’t spread yourself so thin that you’re sacrificing us to keep everyone safe.

Malachi: I need you, Angel. And I’m used to sacrificing myself to keep other people safe, but you’re right. Can we just have each other for awhile? Like it used to be before all of this hit us like a freight train? -I curled into her, burying my face in her hair and just getting lost in the scent of her. Other than the nights when we were curled up in bed together, there were very few moments where we got to exist with just the two of us. I’d almost forgotten how much I missed this after I’d pushed it down so far that I didn’t notice it or need to feel it when I was working on everything. But here she was curled into my arms. I needed this, even if I hadn’t realized it. I needed her, and I knew it. I always had.

I didn’t want to take any more of the time we had together with wallowing in what was going on around us. That was going to come intruding in before we wanted it to. It always did. Who knew how much time we had left to just be the two of us. 

My hands moved to run around the curve of her stomach, and I kept my face in her neck. I wanted to be lost in her for as long as I could steal away from everything else.-

Aurora: ^I couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across my face as Mal let his hands run over my stomach. This was the other thing I had been missing. But it wasn’t something I was going to harp on him about. It had been hard enough telling him that I missed him. I didn’t want to tell him that Dinah had missed him just as much. All of this was hard. But we both needed this. We needed to just be with each other.

I couldn’t stop myself from pressing my lips against his. I needed to feel him. I needed to bathe myself in affection from him. I needed to know that this was okay. That it was okay for me to love him. I wanted to just put my emotions out there. And it wasn’t even so much that I wanted to feel this. I needed to feel this. I needed this to be okay. And with my pregnant belly, I couldn’t get as close to him as I wanted.^

We love you. I adore you. I have always adored you. There is no one I would ever want to spend my life with. Even if you were insane, Mal. I loved you before Colette helped with the voices. I’ll love you even if you decide you want to take over any of the packs we end up destroying. Which should only be the Haydens and St. Pierre’s.

Malachi: -I listened to what she was telling me, but the last bit had me shaking my head with a laugh. The last thing I wanted was to take over any of these packs. The day to day running of things was going to leave me in that mindset that she hated so much all day long, only being able to relax once I was home with her. What I really wanted was a quiet life with my wife and my daughter out in the middle of nowhere where we could just be a family. I could run the gym and take care of her and just be happy like we were when we first met and wound up together, just with the addition of Dinah- 

I adore you, too, both of you, and lucky for all of us, I’m mostly sane. I just want the two of you, nothing more and nothing less. I don’t want to run anything other than a nice shower at the end of the day and have you join me in it. -I let out a soft chuckle remembering the day we’d met each other. I would have loved to go back to those days when it didn’t feel like we were waiting on the other shoe to drop, and if things went as planned we were going to have those days back again. I wasn’t going to tarnish them with trying to get into wolf politics or running anything. I’d leave that to people who were better suited to it than me. 

It was nice just to sit out here and talk to her. I hadn’t realized how long it had been since just the two of us had had a real conversation, and it didn’t matter what about. Stealing kisses in between sentences was just a bonus. Maybe it would have looked weird to anyone who wandered up on us to find us sitting out in the middle of the woods talking, but I really didn’t give a damn what anyone else thought. I was out here with my wife. 

I just didn’t know that we were enjoying literally the last few minutes we had before all of this came crashing down. Whenever I shifted, my senses would be heightened for a few hours afterward. I could scent things on the breeze and hear a lot better than I ought to until I slept it off. Which was why I was able to hear the sound of footsteps moving through the woods only just a moment before I scented them on the woods. 

It had been years since I’d smelled that particular scent, but I knew it immediately and it had my hackles up. This was it, and of course it would have come right now, the moment when I finally stole some time away with my wife, when she needed me. She could have Dinah at any moment. Doc had been hovering around like a mother hen for a reason. Everything was hitting all at once, and it was all hitting right now. 

I moved to my feet, bringing Rora with me. I didn’t know if she’d smelled and heard what I did, but I knew she needed to head back to the treehouse right now and send out the others. They didn’t know we were aware of their presence yet. It gave us a little bit of the upper hand since they were expecting to be able to get in a surprise attack. I made sure Rora was looking square in my eyes before I started speaking-

They’re here. Go back to the house, and send the rest of them out here. And please just stay put. I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to either of you… 

-My words trailed off and the look of my eyes was pleading. I wasn’t trying to order her around. I just needed her to go. I needed her to know how important this was, and no matter what happened to any of the rest of the inhabitants of this house, I needed her to take care of herself and Dinah. Those were the only two of them I wasn’t going to be able to live without.-

Rora: ^I didn’t hesitate. I couldn’t. Not with this. I felt myself almost explode into a wolf before I started taking off towards the house. It felt like almost no time had passed before I was shifting back and running up the stairs to the kitchen. I stopped for a second before trying to take a couple of breaths. I knew what was happening. And I knew I needed to let them know as fast as possible.

I knew better than to howl as I was coming up. I didn’t want to be tracked. But inside of the Treehouse? There was no stopping me from screaming for someone. My voice cracked as I let out a yell I was sure to be heard from ever inch of the Treehouse.^ LEAH! LOGAN!

^It seemed like two names was all that was needed before everyone was rushing into the kitchen. But it was Amiee that put the pieces together. The soft “they’re here” was a statement and not a question. Leah didn’t even wait before she was out the door and jumping off the stairs. She didn’t hesitate before shifting. Logan, Amee, and Tatiana weren’t far behind her.^

Logan: [I didn’t blame Leah for bolting the way that she did. The moment Rora came into the house and started screaming for Leah and I, we knew something was wrong. There was no denying it. But this was something Leah and I had discussed at lengths with Beezer. We needed a plan on how to fight and how to hide Tats.

As soon as my wife was out of view, I could only turn to Tatiana with an expectant expression. This was what we had trained for. We needed to do this the right way.] You stay out of their view. They don’t know about you. They don’t know about your size. Don’t make yourself known until you have eyes on Zeke. You know what you’re looking for. The moment he’s distracted or tries to take a step towards Beezer, you take him down. Don’t eliminate him. Beezer wants him alive.

[I almost wasn’t sure what was happening when Tatiana shifted. But she dropped to her stomach with an expectant growl. This wasn’t something we had talked about, but I knew what she wanted. I knew what she was trying to tell us. Grabbing Amiee by the hips, I didn’t hesitate before I put her on Tatiana’s back. We, as humans, were slower than the wolves. But Tats was giving us the chance to catch up. 

I was on her back as soon as Amiee was settled. Tatiana didn’t hesitate to run as though the world was ending. And, in a way, it was. She wanted everyone on a level playing field. She wanted the chance to survive this. It felt like a blink before we were getting off the wolf. But we knew it was necessary. We were going to have to run the last few yards. Looking at Amiee, I nodded my head before the storm clouds started to roll in. She wasn’t going to be the most vital person in this fight, but she could give us cover.]

Leah: *The minute I knew what was going on I was out the door and off the porch. I needed to get out there and make sure everything was going down like it was supposed to and that none of this was going to hit a hiccup. From the speed that Aurora came into the house with and the fact that she’d done it silently, I was guessing that they didn’t know that we knew they were here. But Amos wasn’t stupid. He was going to count on the fact that we had more than one wolf out here who could scent them all if they happened to be outside. He just didn’t know that we already figured out he was coming after us. 

I was hoping he hadn’t counted on Colette or Logan or Amiee, though he wouldn’t have put it past me to have witches around the house. After all, it was something he’d been doing himself for years. But Tatiana was something else, something I don’t think anyone could have seen coming unless they knew her. 

I followed the line of scent that told me where Aurora had come from until I reached the clearing where she’d originally shifted. I could sense the change in the scent that told me she and Beezer had been here as humans not long before. That meant Beezer wasn’t going to be far off, and that’s when it hit me. I knew exactly what he scented. 

Wolves, more than one of them. They were off in the distance in the trees around the house.  I was pretty certain they couldn’t find the house unless one of us lead them back to it. The ward that had been put in place kept it hidden for the most part. It wasn’t impossible to find, but it was difficult. So they were circling the place trying to find us. That was exactly what I would have done in their situation. 

The wolf was antsy. She wanted to run off after them, but I wasn’t so certain that was the best course of action to take. We had the element of surprise, and I had my target exactly in mind. Beezer was going after Amos of course, Tati was going to take out Zeke, and Cyrus was going to be all mine. I just had to make sure I hit him in just the right manner. 

I wasn’t certain I was going to be able to pick out his scent after all this time, but my wolf was. That wasn’t something she was ever going to forget. Being chained and caged and nearly murdered had been imprinted on her mind as much as anything else ever had. He was in the woods, not too far from here, but he wasn’t alone. I could tell that right away. They were in a group, and we were going to have to figure out how to draw them apart. -

Malachi: -I’d shifted as soon as Rora had run out of the clearing. She was silent, and for that I was thankful. We needed to keep the advantage as long as we could, because in all honesty we were a bit outnumbered. There were more wolves on my father’s side than ours, that much was a given. The strategy here was to divide them, to split them up. Right now, they were grouped together. 

I’d gotten closer, but the black wolf knew how to stay downwind of his prey and stalk them like any good predator should. In his mind, they were now prey to be taken down. The sound of them in the not too distant woods was loud and clear. They weren’t trying to keep quiet exactly, though they weren’t being loud. However, it was all a signal to him -- the scents, the sounds and the glimpses of them I could get through the gaps in the trees. He was going to split them up, and he knew exactly how to do it. 

Stalking closer, he growled as soon as he was close enough for the back of the pack to hear him and ran off, making just enough noise to attract their attention and draw them away from the group. It was easy enough when you knew these woods to loop back and repeat the process in an entirely different direction. Before long, they were starting to scatter all around the woods and leaving the pack to dwindle down one at a time until only two of them remained, Amos and Zeke.-

Tatiana: *Once Amiee and Logan were off of her, she knew what she had to do. She was familiar with the scents of those she was around. She knew Beezer, Leah, Logan, and Amiee. Those were the only people she needed to be concerned with.

I had learned a lot from Beezer in the last few weeks. She knew what she needed to do, and I wasn’t going to hold her back. Pulling around the back, I could tell she was smelling the groups of unfamiliar wolves. It was easier to pick the ones off that were trailing behind. A quick bite to the back to the neck and a turn of the head and they were no longer a concern. She didn’t stop to check if they were alive or dead. But I couldn’t stop her as soon as she saw a wolf going for Beezer.

It was exactly as Beezer had warned. The one on the left had started to circle him. As soon as he lunged, she struck. It was the same way Leah had taken her down when she turned on Beezer. She dropped her head, and the force of her shoulder took him to the ground. She didn’t stop the growl that slid out as she pressed her teeth into his shoulder.*

Beezer: -I hadn’t known if the wolf was going to let me remember anything that happened today. That was entirely his choice. He could blank me out completely or give me that window that let me watch everything that happened. I could only hope that he was at least going to give me something to hold on to while all of this was going on. I didn’t think I could handle not knowing how all of this had come out or if my wife and daughter were alright until I came out of this. Mercifully, he’d let me sit just at the back of things and watch as he led the members of the St. Pierre pack off one by one. When it only Amos and Zeke remained, the two of them realized I was there simultaneously. 

They circled me, using the tactics I’d been taught myself long before I’d left to come here. I was bigger than either of them, and they knew it. They also knew that I knew exactly how to take them down individually. They were relying on the fact that they were together and that I was outnumbered. 

That was the moment that Tatiana came barreling out of the woods. I’d heard her and Leah, picking off the wolves that I led off into the trees one at a time. Tatiana was much better at it than she’d given herself credit for, and Leah had kept it up until I pulled Cyrus away from the group. I knew she was out for blood with him, and I only hoped the she could pull it off. 

Tatiana now had my oldest brother pinned by the neck at the edge of the clearing. She’d done it magnificently, her teeth slid from his shoulder to his throat, throwing him to the ground before either of them realized what was happening. She was huge, and I could see the fear in both their eyes when she seemed to appear half out of nowhere. It was exactly what we’d planned all this time. 

That only left Amos and me in the center of the clearing, the two of us circling each other warily, with our eyes locked. I was keeping my distance on purpose because I was waiting on something. A few days ago, I’d pulled Logan to the side after one of the training sessions that seemed to be all we were up to lately and asked a little favor. I didn’t intend on finishing off any of this until he was able to get it started if I was able to. I had a lot of shit to say to Amos St. Pierre, but I didn’t trust him enough to turn back into a human anywhere around him, so I needed another way to let him know exactly what I needed to say.- 

Logan: [I saw the hesitation in Beezer. It was the one thing I had been looking for. This was the one thing I had to do before I could take another step towards my wife. There was no fucking way I was letting her handle that asshole on her own. But I had agreed to give this to Beezer. I understood what he wanted. And I knew why he needed it.

The words were soft, and not for anyone to hear. It was something that was going to give Beezer an upper hand if he used it properly.] Papa san an, pi piti pitit gason. Lide nan yon sèl. Youn fòs, feblès papa a. 

[Repeating the words once more, I felt Beezer’s blood connect with the spell. I was positive it had worked, and I didn’t give it a second thought as I went to find my wife. I had to figure out the best way to help her, and the only way to do that was to find her fight.]

Beezer: -I knew the moment the spell hit that it was working. I could feel the change wash over me when my mind linked with Amos’s, and I could see the shock wash over his eyes even in his wolf form. I let myself forget about Tatiana and my brother a few yards away and kept my focus on the wolf in front of me. 

His coat was going white, especially around the muzzle, though he’d always been so much lighter than I was. None of us ever knew why I was as black as midnight when the rest of my family was gray. It didn’t matter, but it was something Aurora and I had always had in common. We were nothing like the families that we’d thought we’d been a part of as children. 

I could sense the confusion on the other end of the connection between the two of us. I intended to use that to my advantage.-

It’s been a long time, Amos…

-There was no way I was going to call him Dad after all this time. I wasn’t going to give him the pleasure. He might have been my father, but he’d never been a father to me. He may as well have been a complete stranger. His voice in my head was the same one I’d known all those years, though.

“Well, well, Beezer St. Pierre. It certainly has been a long time.” 

I fought the urge to laugh, though the wolf let off a gentle cuff as he circled around the other in the clearing.-

I haven’t been a St. Pierre for a long damned time. You and I both know that. Maybe that’s why I changed my name to Wheeler after Aurora and I got married. And don’t act like that surprises you. I know you know about Aurora. I know her brother is here. I just don’t think you know all the details, like how she’s pregnant with my daughter, who is getting named after my mother by the way. Dinah Colette Wheeler, I think it’s got a nice ring to it. 

-I waited for a moment to let all of that sink in. I may have told him more than I let on in the revealing of things. My mother’s name was one I knew well, but Colette was something I shouldn’t have known about. He was shaken, but he tried to act nonchalant. 

“Colette. That old witch. Don’t tell me you drug her up from whatever hole in the ground she crawled into.  And what about Leah? I’m sure that bitch is around here somewhere getting her throat torn out by now.” 

I took a step closer. This part of the conversation was drawing to an end, but I wasn’t going to let him know it until I had to.- 

Oh, you know her. I’m sure she’s giving Cy a run for his money right now. She does have some beef with him after all. Though, I do have to thank her husband for this little gift he’s given the two of us. I’m just not sure you’re enjoying this as much as I am. 

-Another step closer, keeping him distracted with updates about some of his least favorite people on earth was doing the trick. He didn’t seem to notice how much closer I was drawing with each passing moment. 

“Husband? Oh, please do tell me she’s gone off and married some random warlock from god only knows where. I’d love to see what kind of loser gave her more than five minutes of his time. I’m sure he’s a pleasure. I’ll have to thank him for the chance to learn what became of all of you since you’ve been skulking around the woods in the middle of nowhere all these years. It’s been a lot of fun catching up but…”

I didn’t give him a chance to finish. He was good at bluffing, but I knew all his tells. I’d grown up knowing them since I was old enough to walk. It was survival for me. I needed to know when he meant what he said and when he was covering for something, and right now, he was covering because he was scared. He gave it away in the way he flinched when I said Colette’s name and the step backwards he’d taken when I mentioned Leah and the fact that she was married. He’d expected me to fall to pieces without him. He’d expected that curse Delilah had left me with to be the end of me. I’d known that was the purpose from the beginning. I was just going to be the one to finish the job he had started. 

Instead, I was standing in front of him, close enough to pounce and start the fight I’d been waiting for have for far too long. I needed to take him down and hard. This was going to be the end of it all and it came down to the two of us in the middle of this clearing. I owed him for a lot of things -- for what he’d done to me, for what he’d done to my mother, for what he’d tried to do to Leah and Colette, and what he planned to do to Aurora and Dinah if he got the chance. I was going straight for his throat.-

Aurora: ^It felt like I wasn’t catching my breath. There was so much going on around me, and there was a lot to take in. One second I was in the woods with Mal just trying to figure out when I was going to have my husband back, and now I was here while he was out risking his life for me. It was a lot to take in. But I couldn’t let the fear get to me. I couldn’t let Josh or Doc know how much this was bothering me.

But it was a small breeze that brought fear to my spine. We weren’t the only ones in the treehouse. My eyes shut as I greeted the man that had somehow found what he was looking for.^ You gave me enough time to fall in love, get married, have my husband destroy our family, and get pregnant before you finally found me. Father would have been so disappointed, Der. Then again, he’s dead. So there’s no one to be disappointed in you.

^As my eyes opened, I was greeted by not just my brother. There was a girl standing next to him with bright red hair and green eyes. Her lips were quirked in what I could only describe as a vicious smile. She knew she was here to cause problems. And it was almost immediate that it clicked in my head who she was.^ For real, Der? Hooking up with a bitch that likes to cast spells that have loopholes? And here I thought you were better than that.

^I felt her trying to cast some sort of spell. And I almost wanted to laugh. But again, she wouldn’t have known about the warlock we had in our back pocket. I hated referring to Logan like that, but the truth was that he had helped in more ways than one. The screech that filled the house was almost deafening.

“I’m supposed to be the only witch in his life. That baby should be mine! He was engaged to me first! Beezer St. Pierre is my husband, not yours.”

I could only blink at the psychotic woman standing in front of me. There was so much wrong with that sentence. And the first thing was about Beezer St. Pierre. Because for as long as I had known him, he had never been Beezer.^

If he was always supposed to be yours, what’s his first name? Middle name? His last name? None of what you said is right, by the way. His name has never been Beezer St. Pierre. I mean, yeah. He is a St. Pierre. But that’s just because of his father’s last name. He’s not an actual St. Pierre.

^I wasn’t going to focus on the baby comment for now. I wanted to see her lose her mind. I needed to know if she knew the answers to the questions. And, of course, she didn’t. She had never been in the relationship for him. It was power. More power than she had.^ I didn’t think you knew the answer to that question. That’s the difference between the two of us. I can tell you everything about the man I married.

^I turned my attention to the man standing next to her. He was almost stunned at what was happening. I couldn’t help the small laugh that slipped from my lips as he just stared at Delilah.^ You think she loves you, Derrick?I had hoped you knew better. But apparently you’re blind. Delilah is in love with power. She wants the St. Pierre name more than anything. And the only person available to give her that name is her beloved Beezer. A man that doesn’t even exist anymore.

^Derrick was floundering for a response, but he couldn’t come up with one. He knew I was right about her. And she had stopped caring about my brother the moment she walked into the house. Her voice was sickly sweet as she took another step closer.

“I can make him come back, Wolf. I can get my Beezer back. All I need to do is kill you. Of course, I won’t kill the baby inside of you. I may not want to be a mother, but I won’t deny him the option of being a father to the bitch pup that will need a new mother.”

I couldn’t think. Everything around me froze, and a red haze filled my vision as I got lost in the rage filling me.^

Leah: *I’d been staying around the perimeter of the fight, waiting and watching for a chance to take out the one person I was looking for. It was easy enough to pick off one or two of the other wolves when the spread out from the group. Beez made sure that we were able to take them on one at a time instead of en masse. It was when I was at my best and could use my speed to my advantage. 

It was only when I saw the one wolf I was looking for that I slowed down even a little bit. I would have recognized the pale gray of his fur anywhere. I saw it my dreams when I woke up in a cold sweat at night sometimes, even now. I owed him all of this maybe even more. It was hard to say what would have happened if Beezer hadn’t come and pulled me out of that cage I’d been chained to, but I wouldn’t have been here to do this. I would have been lucky to have been dead if they still had me. 

There was honestly no telling how many other people that had happened to. Those cages weren’t new, and they knew way too much about what they’d been doing for this to be the first time. It wasn’t something I liked to think about, but it had been years since I’d been around any of the St. Pierre’s. Being this close brought it all flooding back. Beezer wasn’t one of them. He never had been, not since the day I’d met him. It was the only reason I could trust him now. 

The one I knew I couldn’t trust was in a clearing on the other side of a few trees. I had him scented down and was making a beeline for that direction without really caring whether or not he knew I was on the way. Maybe that was a mistake, but I was beyond giving a damn about all of it. I had business to take care of and Cyrus St. Pierre was it. I could hear the sounds of fights going on all around various corners of the forest around us, but they were easy to tune out as soon as I emerged into the clearing I was aiming for. 

He was there waiting, just like I knew he would be. The wolf was poised ready to pounce on the other side of the clearing from where I’d emerged from the trees. He’d known I was coming. That much was clear. He was bigger than me, nearly as big as Beezer, but not quite. I needed to keep my wits about here, but the blinding anger that roared through me made that kind of difficult. All I really wanted to do was to bury my teeth in his throat and rip a new hole in him. 

He came for me before I came for him, but I waited until he was almost on top of me before I jumped, landing on his back and biting down hard just above his shoulder with a low snarl. He rolled at that instant, howling out while his full weight landed on me, stealing my breath and giving him just long enough to regain his footing before I could find enough air to scramble back to my own feet. 

We circled each other, the growls echoing off the treeline, until he came for me again. This time, he was the one who tried to pounce while I rolled under him, knocking his feet out from under him so that he landed on his back. It gave me a chance to go straight for his throat again. He was able to deflect me so my teeth found the opposite shoulder, striking a long red gash against the gray of his fur before he knocked me over. I was too small to withstand the force of the blow, but I could use the momentum of it to get me far enough away from him to get back to my feet. 

This time, he was able to regroup before I was. I could only brace myself when he slammed full force into my side and I was sent sprawling into a tree. I struggled to get back up, but my head had hit the tree pretty hard. I was going down and there wasn’t anything I could do to stop myself as the world began to fade to black.*

Logan: [I could feel her growing weaker. The fight she was in had to have been against Cyrus. It was the only wolf she would put everything into. But it was what happened when I got to the tree line that made me scared. I could only watch as the bigger grey wolf threw the small russet wolf off of him and into the trees surrounding them. I felt her fighting for consciousness. It was a plus to why we tied ourselves together. But this fucking terrified me.

I didn’t run to her. God knows I wanted to, but there was a more pressing matter to deal with. The wolf that had started stalking towards my wife’s limp body. Before he got too close, I felt the spell slipping from my lips. Every muscle froze. And he wasn’t going anywhere. It was what I wanted. I wanted him to stay put while I broke him down.

It wasn’t going to be a fight. Cyrus wasn’t going to get near me. But I could get close to him. And with each step, his growl got louder. But I put myself between him and Leah. I needed him to see everything I did.] Nice try, asshole. Trust me on this. She won’t be down for long. But you won’t be alive long enough to see her bounce back.

[I was bluffing. I could feel the way Leah was struggling to hold on, and it just made my fury worse. I hadn’t been taught to use this side of the magic, but I was going to do everything to protect the woman I had been in love with. She meant everything to me. And no one else mattered.

I flicked my wrist as I whispered the words before I heard the bone in his front legs break. But the magic wouldn’t let him fall. I wouldn’t give him that kind of release. He needed to fed every inch of pain I was giving him.

From there, I didn’t stop. Breaking the bones in his hind legs before releasing his muscles. It accomplished what I wanted. He was on the ground due to the pain rolling through him.] I know about the cage, Cyrus. I know that the plan was to either kill her completely or beat her into submission. But the thing you never counted on was how strong her will to survive was.

[My eyes stayed on the wolf in front of me as he tried to get to his feet. But it wasn’t going to happen. Another flick of my wrist, and his back was broken. He wasn’t dead. I wasn’t ready for that. I wanted him to hear every last word before I finally killed him.] You and your father made a mistake in coming for revenge. Beezer has more to live for now. A wife and daughter on the way. It wouldn’t surprise me if your father was dead already. But you fucked with Leah. You tried to break her. 

[I let myself start to slowly circle the wolf laying on the ground in front of me. There was still so much I wanted to say to him. And as he let out another growl, I could only smile.] I know what you wanted to use her for. She was just a gene pool for you. You wanted to be the first, though. Didn’t you, Cy? You wanted to be the one to fuck her. You wanted to be the one who made her pregnant.

[As I came back around to his head, I let myself kneel down so I could look Cyrus in the eye. He was going to hear this last statement if it was the last thing I said.] You’d have enjoyed her pussy, too. When she’s excited, she gets so fucking wet. It’s unlike anything I have ever felt. And the way she tastes when she’s cumming? Nothing is sweeter than her. And fuck if my girl doesn’t scream when she cums.

[I smiled as Cyrus let out another growl. But Leah was getting weaker. And I knew my work was done. Turning my bag on the paralyzed wolf, I let the words flow from my lips. The spell that constricted his airway. It wasn’t going to be a painless death. I wasn’t going to allow that.

I couldn’t concern myself with him, though. Sometime during my chat with Cyrus, Leah had shifted back into a human. I didn’t touch her because I didn’t want to do more damage, but I could only curl myself up next to my wife as I tried to think of every spell I could. I wasn’t ready to lose her, and I was terrified that’s that was the road we were now walking.]

Aurora: ^The Wolf wasn’t letting me see anything. She wasn’t letting me experience anything. And I started to get scared. I didn’t know what was happening. And all I could do was feel things. I felt her emotions. Pure rage. No one was going after her pup. That baby belonged to her. And it was good to know that she was going to be a mother to Dinah.

The next thing I felt was pride. She had done something. Something that made her happy. But she wasn’t letting me know what that something was. I felt her go outside and down the stairs. I couldn’t stop pleading with her, though. This was not part of the plan. She was not supposed to go out into the woods. She was not supposed to go looking for a fight.

But I knew what she was looking for. I felt her pick up the scent for her mate. The black wolf that had the ability to control my husband. She wanted him to be proud of her. She wanted him to see what she had done. She wanted to be congratulated. 

She let out a growl whenever anyone looked at her. She was daring them to come close. But her growl was muffled by whatever was in her mouth. And at that point, I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what had happened.

The realization was startling. She had learned this trick from Mal’s wolf. She was protecting me from something. Something she didn’t want me to know about. It made the fear and panic come back tenfold. But with each step closer to the battle, I could feel her anxiety rising. She wasn’t sure what she was going to find. And it was the first time she thought about what she was doing. But it was too late to turn back. She had to find her Shadow.^

Mal: -My father might have been old, but he’d spent all his life fighting for position in the pack. He’d needed to keep in good shape to maintain that, even with my brothers in his ranks. However, there was something a bit excessive in how strong he actually was.  

This wasn’t the first time we’d fought. My father and I had sparred when we were both much younger. It was part of the training and both of my brothers had received. We needed to be ready to fight at a moment’s notice. But I wasn’t as experienced then. I wasn’t as strong as I had become in the meantime. He and I had been fairly evenly matched back then; it didn’t stand to reason that he would be old enough to have grandchildren and would still be able to hold his own against a wolf that was larger than he was. 

I suspected that Delilah or one of her family had something to do with this. I hadn’t seen her anywhere around, but he’d been so keen on working with a witch and using their power to his advantage. I wouldn’t have put it past him to have something going on. It was smart, and it was exactly what he would have done. So, I needed to keep my wits about me. I had to stay on my toes and not rely on my strength to win this fight. Strength wasn’t an advantage when your opponent was just as strong. 

We rolled in a knot of legs, fur and teeth until my wolf pulled away, teeth bared and snarling. The two wolves circled each other for a moment, before the black wolf dove back in, digging his teeth into the ribs of the older wolf. It was in that moment that I realized something had changed drastically.

I heard one of his ribs snap under the wolf’s teeth. The howl that he let out was long and deafening, but it was also a sign that he knew the tides of the battle had changed. I didn’t know what I had to thank for that change. It could have been one of the witches on our side doing some kind of magic we hadn’t discussed, but it could have also meant that something had happened to whatever witch had cast the spell on him. I wasn’t sure which, and to be honest, either outcome was fine with me. 

His strength was gone. Gone to the point that I wasn’t sure it had ever been real to begin with. He backed away, and I saw him eyeing the treeline. He was planning to run, but the black wolf was having none of that. He dashed in, taking advantage of the momentary lapse in my father’s attention to catch him off guard. It worked, and the older wolf was off his feet in an instant. 

The black wolf was anything but dramatic. He was all about business with this, and he didn’t waste a moment in getting his teeth around the other wolf’s throat, digging in until he could taste the coppery blood flowing across his tongue and the life flowing out of him. He took his time doing it, but he was certain this was the end of the fight. There wasn’t any coming back from this. This was the kind of thing he’d have normally blacked me out from experiencing. I didn’t recall ever being aware of when he’d killed anyone. I was always at the periphery of things then or just completely gone. This time, he let me in on it all. It was the only time I’d have been a hundred percent on board with someone dying, no matter how much they might have deserved it. But this time, I was protecting my wife and my daughter from ever needing to be afraid of their own blood ever again. 

He held on, despite the weakening struggle from my father, and didn’t let go until he heard a sound in the clearing behind him. He whipped around, half ready to pounce on whoever it was until the sight and scent hit him all at once. That was the last person I expected to see out in the woods right now.  My wife, or at least her wolf was there, pure white coat streaked with blood. It took a moment to register that the blood wasn’t hers, but instead, belonged to the body that she was dragging by the throat into the clearing. 

She’d shifted, which meant that someone had found her and she’d needed to protect herself. I immediately felt guilty about that, but who had done it? The body there was mangled and covered in debris from being dragged through the woods, but one look at the tangled matt of red hair told me exactly who that was, Delilah. Delilah had been here, and she’d found my wife. I was seeing red at all of that. But here was Aurora, or at least her wolf, with the body in tow. I needed to figure out exactly what had happened here. 

The black wolf didn’t fight me when I pushed to take control back. He willingly let go and allowed me to shift back into human form, my body twisting and contorting back into Malachi as I took a single step forward. I’d expected Aurora to join me, but she didn’t. The white wolf was still there, streaked in blood and clinging to the throat of the dead woman she’d dragged into the clearing. She’d saved my life, but I didn’t think she’d realized it.- 

Aurora? -I took a step forward, holding my hand out to the wolf. I wasn’t scared of her. Aurora’s wolf was just as attached to me as I was to her. She wouldn’t have ever hurt me, but my wife wasn’t there behind those eyes like I was used to. I knew what was going on, but I wasn’t sure how to help her out of this, or how Aurora was going to react when she realized what had happened. I needed all the help I could get here, now that I was pretty certain the battle was over. 

I glanced behind me where Tati was holding Zeke pinned by the neck to the ground and yelled over to her. - Tatiana? I need Logan and maybe Doc if you can find him, please? -I was scared, but trying not to let it show in my voice as long as Zeke was around.- Let Zeke go. I think I and Aurora can handle him now that Amos is dead. 

-I heard Tatiana leaving and watched Zeke scramble to his feet before shifting back into a human. My voice was low and half a growl as I glared at him- Don’t you fucking move a muscle. You’re not getting anywhere. These woods are full of wolves and witches and not a single fucking one of them wants you alive right now. Your best bet is to stay put, and maybe if you listen I’ll let you live. 

-I turned my attention back to the white wolf in front of me, reaching down to run a flattened palm between her ears gently- Look at you, Pretty Girl. You killed that bitch and protected all the rest of us. You saved my life and the pup. I hope you know that. I wouldn’t have won this fight without you. -She was ready for the praise. She’d come through the woods looking for me or my wolf. I’d known that the moment she stopped and waited for me. It was exactly what my wolf would have done in the same situation. He would have wanted his mate to know. I wanted her to know how much she’d done for all of us.-

Tati:  *I didn’t wait for another word from Beezer before I was off. I quickly picked up Logan’s scent, and started in that direction. But it was a different witch that caught my attention. Walking over, I gently nudged Amiee with my nose. She gave a soft laugh before shaking her head.

“I’m fine, Tats. Nothing a few bandages won’t fix. Don’t worry about me.”

I let out a huff as she started towards the Treehouse. If she wasn’t concerned, I wasn’t going to be. So I let my wolf do her thing. She started back on Logan’s scent before she picked up Leah’s scent and another wolf’s. She wasn’t sure what she was walking up on, but it wasn’t what she expected.

There was a dead wolf in the middle of the field. Bigger than the one she had pinned to the ground earlier. But it was the two human bodies that got her attention.

Logan was wrapped around Leah. Something was wrong. But she didn’t investigate. All she did was turn around and start sprinting back to the house. She didn’t think of the consequences as she started to howl. It was the only way she knew to get his attention. As she came to a stop, the man she was howling for was standing there. She pointedly looked at him before dropping to her stomach. She didn’t know if he understood, but she needed him to get on her back so she could take him to Logan and Leah.*

Spencer: -I’d recognized Tati’s howl before I saw her. It had my heart in her throat until I reached her. I didn’t know if she was hurt. I didn’t know what was up with any of them, but I knew it was getting to the point I was going to be needed. I’d been listening to the battle that raged on around me in the woods since all of this had begun. I’d been stuck at the house, waiting, watching and getting ready for the aftermath. I was useless in a fight, especially against wolves. I was only human, and even on my best day, I wasn’t going to be able to take one of them on. All I could do was be ready to be of use back here in the house. 

I had a bag of supplies in hand when I met Tati out in the yard of the house. The woods around the place were far more silent than they had been since all of this began. The birds weren’t even singing. It was eerie, but if they’d known what was good for them all, they’d run far from this place while the battle was going on. They’d be back sooner or later. 

Tati’s wolf got down on her front haunches almost playfully, but the look on her face was anything but. This was serious. She needed me, and she needed me to get there fast. It took me one quick look to note that she was unmarked from whatever fight she’d been in so that meant something was wrong with the others. She could get me there a hell of a lot faster than I could get there on foot. I nodded and climbed onto her back as quickly as I could manage with my bag in tow.-

Alright, Tati. Just get me wherever they need me. 

-She took off, moving quickly through the woods until we were in a clearing I’d never been to before. Leah and Logan were there, and a dead wolf in the center of the clearing. Logan was fine, but Leah was unconscious. It was a quick move to scramble over to her side.- What happened?

Logan: He tossed her into a tree. She hit her back and neck before she went out. Doc, I’ve been throwing every ounce of magic I know at her to get her back, but I’m getting nothing. I can barely feel her in my veins.

[Leah and I had never hidden what we had done in front of the others. It was just another part of who we were. We were bound by her imprinting and my magic. And everyone knew what would happen if one was lost. But I wasn’t ready to let my wife die. And I wasn’t ready to follow her. There was still so much I wanted to do with her here. I needed her to see Dinah be born. She loved that little girl. Dinah was Aunt Leah’s little princess.

I wasn’t going to let her go so easily. I kept reciting every spell I had in my head. With the two of us bonded like we were, I didn’t need to say the words out loud. The situation with Leah was different than the situation with Beezer.]

Tell me what to do, Doc. I need my wife to be okay. And you’re the only person in this fucking place that can help her as much as I can.

Aurora: ^It was then that she let me come back. I could see the recognition in Mal’s eyes. He knew that she was going to let me come back to him. I felt her place whatever had been in her mouth on the ground before I felt the world shift.

It felt like in no time that I was standing in front of my husband. We weren’t far from where we had been, but Mal had taken his fight with Amos to a different spot. One that didn’t belong to us. But as I looked around, I was confused. I knew Amos was dead. There was no two ways about that. But there was another man in the clearing almost shooting daggers at my husband through his eyes.

But it was what was at my feet that gave me the most pause. I knew the red hair. I knew the pale skin that was deadly white at this point. But I didn’t know what had happened.^ No! Tell me she didn’t! She’s hiding stuff from me, Malachi! I can’t remember what happened!

^I felt the panic more than I wanted to. And I knew I needed to calm down. But there was no way that was going to happen. Not when there was a dead body at my feet.^ What did I do?!

Mal: -I pulled my wife into my arms, taking her away from the body that was crumpled at her feet and the body of my father on the other side of the clearing. I kept my eyes on Zeke, though. I wasn’t going to have him running off before I got a chance to put some fear into him. He needed to know what was going on and where he stood in all of this. But first, I needed to get my wife to calm down. 

I pressed a kiss to the crown of her head, keeping her in my arms while I talked to her, keeping my voice as calm as I could- It’s ok, Angel. She kept you safe, and she kept the baby safe. She just didn’t want you to have that on your conscience. I know. It’s scary. I’ve been there. 

-I cupped Rora’s face in my hands pulling her gaze up to meet mine.- It’s alright. You’re alright. I’ve got you. Just breathe.

-I didn’t know what else to do. I needed her not to panic on me. I needed her to breathe. I needed her and the baby safe. The white wolf had made sure they were both safe, but I was terrified that not being able to remember what had happened was going to break Aurora.- 

Rora: ^I had to trust Mal. He knew what was going on with Angel. He was used to be shut out by his wolf. I, however, was not. And it was terrifying that she would go to that extreme. But Mal’s words were an echo in my ear. She was protecting me. She was protecting the baby. 

I felt my heart stop as I remembered the last thing Delilah had said before the wolf took over.^ She wanted to give you the opportunity to raise the bitch pup inside of me even if she had no desire to be a mom.

^Angel had eliminated the threat to Dinah. Dinah wasn’t just my and Mal’s child. It was as much hers and Shadow’s. She was just as protective over her as we were. But I still wasn’t calm about what happened. I wasn’t sure I was ever going to be okay with it. How was I supposed to handle being shut out of my own mind. It was terrifying to come out of it. But the snort from across the clearing made me growl. I felt Angel inside of me doing the same thing.

She didn’t like the man in the clearing. It didn’t matter that it was Mal’s older brother. She didn’t trust him. But I had to keep her on a leash. I wasn’t ready for her to come back out again.^ What the fuck does he think is so funny? You being a dad or the dead bitch trying to take my kid away? Because neither option is that funny to me, Dick head!

Mal: -I couldn’t stop the growl as I wheeled around on my brother, taking my attention away from Aurora for a moment. My vision was swimming with how close to surfacing my wolf was. I couldn’t keep the rage under control no matter how hard I tried when I heard that stupid laugh. He was an absolute moron if he thought I was going to tolerate that for even a moment. My eyes were blazing as I glared at him- If you have any idea what is good for you, you will keep every damned opinion you have to yourself right now. There is only one reason you’re alive. I hope you know that, and if you give me even the slightest reason to think you’re going to be more hassle than you’re worth, I’ll figure out another fucking plan that doesn’t require you to still be breathing. 

That is my wife. And my child. There is nothing on the face of the Earth I’m more protective over. I’ve killed people for being less of a threat than you’ve been today. I hope you know that, and don’t forget it. 

-My fingers itched to wrap around his throat. It was everything I could do not to kill him with my bare hands even in human form. But I needed him. If I was going to have the life I wanted with my wife and my daughter, I didn’t need to have to run a pack on top of that. A quiet life was my idea of heaven, not living in New Orleans and having to deal with the politics and drama that came with that life.

My brother let the amusement melt off his face as I approached him one step at a time. - 

Now… I have a little proposition for you, and if you value your life, you’ll take it. I don’t like the idea of running that sorry excuse for a pack that your father has put together, but I’m also not going to leave an ungoverned pack of wolves running amok on my doorstep either. I made a similar deal with Aurora’s brother back in Wyoming when I finished off the rest of them there. You can run things there, but you’re going to hear from me if I hear a single damned thing I don’t like. And trust me when I say you don’t want to hear from me.

-The look on his face was quickly melting into something serious when I mentioned Aurora’s brothers back in Wyoming. I knew he’d had something to do with Derrick here, and I knew he would have an idea of what I was talking about. I was a little surprised when he opened his mouth.

“Then tell me I can kill that asshole Derrick first thing. I didn’t like him from the moment he set foot in our city, no matter what Dad thought of him.” 

I wouldn’t have given him that permission without consulting Aurora first, but I didn’t get a chance to even consider an answer before I heard her voice from behind me.-

Aurora: There is no way in hell you are getting to kill Derrick. I get to decide what happens with him. He is my brother. He is the one that decided I needed to die. You may hate him for what he did with the St Pierre pack, but you can’t hate him too much. He gave you a reason to come looking for Malachi.

^The wolf inside of me couldn’t stop with the growling. She hated that there was someone alive that wanted to kill her mate. And that man was standing in front of us. All she could do was pace inside of me. She wanted to be let loose. She wanted nothing more than to destroy the man in front of her. He was a threat to her pup and her Shadow. And nothing would stop her from protecting them.

But it was the step forward I tried to take that made me scream. It felt like something was cramping up. But it was my stomach. Taking a breath, I tried to clear my head of the pain that was coming, but there was no use. The warm trickle of water down my leg ensured that I wasn’t going anywhere.

I knew my eyes were wide with panic as I turned my attention towards my husband. He knew what the fear meant. He knew what I was going to say before I said it. But part of me thought he was waiting for confirmation.^ You have to go find Doc. He needs to be in this clearing now. Dinah’s coming, and she’s not going to wait for anyone.

^I could see the war in his eyes, though. He knew what he needed to do. But he wasn’t sure about leaving me alone in a clearing with his brother. But I knew I had the one thing to keep Zeke from going crazy on me.^ I’ll be fine. Zeke’s not going to hurt me. I can promise that.

^I didn’t focus on my husband as he took off through the trees. But I knew that Zeke wasn’t entirely thrilled about staying here with me. But I did have the one thing he wanted. And I was absolutely prepared to bargain with it.^ All you have to do is stay in the clearing with me, Asshole. You stay here until Mal gets back, you can have my brother. Do whatever you want with him. I am not going through this shit alone. And if that means giving you my brother, you can go collect him from Colette when Malachi gets back. You have my word.

^My words were cut off as another contraction ripped through my body. I couldn’t stand there, though. Standing hurt more. I had to sit. The pain was making me lightheaded. I wasn’t sure how much longer I was going to be able to stand. Laying back against the ground, the only thing I could do was think of the irony. I was going to have my daughter in the same fucking field that her grandfather had died in while arranging the death of her uncle.^ This is psychotic. My child is deranged.

Mal: -I shifted and was gone the minute it hit me that Dinah was on her way. What a time for this kind of thing to hit, but at least I was on my toes. I could scent Tatiana and the doctor in the woods and they weren’t far off. Leah and Logan were there as well. They were all together or at least close to each other. I made a beeline for where the scent was taking me and found them all in another clearing, but it wasn’t what I expected. Leah was only half alive.  Logan was panicked. I could smell it on him. 

I couldn’t blame him. I didn’t know what I would have been like if it had been Rora, and she and I weren’t tied in the same way that they were. It was literally life and death for the two of them. Doc was bent over her, but I needed him for Rora. I just didn’t know if he was going to be able to leave here to take care of her too. It was maddening to think he might be torn between here and there. 

I needed to shift they needed to know what was going on. Tatiana was still in wolf form, pacing the edge of the clearing. It was only as I shifted that I noticed Cyrus, dead in a mangled heap in the center. I wasn’t sure what had happened to him, but it looked like an absolutely painful end. It was no more than what he deserved.- 

Doc! Rora… she’s in labor. The baby is coming. -I didn’t know what else to say. It was the plain and simple truth. And I needed him in a hurry. I had no idea how fast this baby was coming.

My friend was on the ground, and I had no idea if she was going to make it. I could hear her heart fluttering weakly under her ribs. But it was weaker than I’d ever heard it. This was pretty damned serious. I just didn’t know what any of us was going to be able to do for her. Leah had been so excited about this baby. She was going to be an aunt. Now we all just needed to make sure the both of them and Aurora made it through this in one piece.-

Doc: -my attention shot up from Leah on the ground in front of me when I heard Beezer enter the clearing. There was nothing I knew to do for Leah. She was injured, but her body was healing. Broken bones knitted together quickly in a were. Her pack even more so. We’d learned that much early on when I’d gotten here. She healed more quickly than most all her life. It was one of the advantages she had over a lot of other wolves in a fight. For this injury to have knocked her out this cold, it had to be something serious. But even then, there was little I could do except check her neck and spine to see that they’d healed correctly and weren’t going to have to be rebroken and set. I had no idea how long she’d be out. At least, I knew Logan could get her back to the house safely. I glanced up at him as soon as Beezer opened his mouth to let us know that Rora was in labor- Logan, get her back to the house. Her back is healed enough to move her and the only thing we can do for her now is let her rest. Her body has to do the rest. 

-I grabbed my bag and looked over to Tati, hoping she would help me out again.- We need to get to Aurora. Can you take me, Love? -I walked forward, running a hand between her ears flat against the back of her head, leaning in to whisper to the wolf- Thank you for helping me, Tati darling. 

Tati: *For Spencer, she would do anything. Even before he started rubbing her head. He was the only thing that mattered to her. But she was torn. She knew it would be faster for Logan and Leah if she took them back to the house. But at the same time, trusting Beezer’s wolf was an issue.

She loved Beezer like an older brother. There was no doubt about that. But she wasn’t sure if she could trust the wolf to take care of her mate. And there was no telling if the black wolf would even let Spencer on him. Even if it was to take care of his mate.

But it was Logan’s head shake that solidified what I was doing. He was going to worry about Leah. And he wasn’t going to let her go. Even if it meant walking through the woods on his own. But still, the wolf wouldn’t let that happen. With a soft whine, I felt my wolf’s eyes narrow on Logan. She was giving him a warning. She wanted him to stay where he was. She was going to come back for him and Leah. There was no way she was letting the two of them walk through the woods unprotected. Not when Leah was already down.

I didn’t have to tell her to drop to her stomach again. She just did it and patiently waited for Spencer to be on her back. In a blink, she was following behind Beezer to a clearing. Another growl slipped through her lips seeing Zeke in human form, but it wasn’t something to think about. Spencer slid off of her back, and she watched as both Beezer and Spencer approached Aurora. This was the moment everyone had been waiting for. And of course, the little princess had to make her appearance at the most inopportune moment.

As Aurora let out another screech, my wolf backed out of the clearing. There was nothing there for her. She couldn’t help. But she could help Logan. The steps were the same as the ones she had just taken. But there was an urgency to them. There really wasn’t time to waste. Not when someone’s life was on the line.*

Logan: [I guess I wasn’t taking Leah back to the house. I understood it, though. Tatiana was concerned about us. She hadn’t been entirely on board with all of this, but she knew that we were all trying to protect each other. And I could only hope that she was trying to protect Leah.

As soon as Doc had given the okay, I had her in my arms. There was no way I wasn’t going to keep her as close to me as possible. I needed her to be with me. I had to feel her. I couldn’t just let her slip between my fingertips. I wasn’t ready to let her go. She wasn’t ready to go. It wasn’t her time. Not when Dinah was now on the way.

It was the only thing I could let run through my head. As focused as I was on the spells, I felt the words tumbling from my lips. It didn’t matter if she heard everyone else. What mattered was her paying attention to me. I couldn’t believe that she wasn’t hearing me.] You’re not allowed to die on me, Little Wolf. There is a little girl that is being born at this exact minute. You need to survive just so you can see that little Princess.

[It was the only thing I could think of to talk to her about. She had to know that there was more to this life. There was so much that she was missing. But I didn’t get the chance to say much more as Tatiana walked back into the clearing. She didn’t have Doc with her, but I realized that she wasn’t needed wherever Aurora was. And, at this point, I had no idea where Rora was. She was supposed to be back at the house, but something in my gut told me it wasn’t the case.

But I could only let out a grateful sigh as the wolf lowered herself down to the ground. There was so much I wanted to say to her. But I knew it was all pointless. I didn’t give anyone a moment to think before I had my Little Wolf in my arms and was carrying her to Tatiana. I wasn’t sure how anyone had fared during the fight, but I didn’t care. The person I was most concerned about was my wife. And she was in my arms.

The woods were a green and brown blur as Tats sped through the trees. The entire time I was focused on the woman in my arms and the words rolling through my head. To me, it didn’t matter what Doc said. I didn’t know when or if she was going to wake up. And while he felt she would, it wasn’t something that was certain. So I was powerless. And it was a feeling I didn’t like.

Once we were back at the Treehouse, I didn’t stop for anyone. Nothing inside could take me away from what I needed to do. And what I needed to do was get her upstairs and into our bed. I wanted her to be in the place she loved the most. I needed her to feel like she was protected. I wanted her to be in her own place. Even if I had no idea what was going to happen, I needed her to be protected.]

Mal: -I had no idea what I was doing here. There wasn’t a single child I’d ever seen being born. I was the youngest of three boys. My mother hadn’t even been pregnant while I was alive. I didn’t know what to do or what she needed but I was determined that I wasn’t going to leave her side unless I absolutely had to. Once Tati got Doc here, I shifted and stayed glued to her side. 

I was worried once it became clear exactly how much pain she was in, but it came and went with her contractions in waves. There were moments it seemed like the pain was going to be too much to bear and then it would break and leave her panting and wrung out on the ground. I couldn’t help the guilt I had at being the reason she was in this much pain, even though it meant that we were going to have our daughter with us soon. I knew she was as ready for that as I was. Maybe even more so. But at this point, I wouldn’t have blamed her for punching me in the face. 

All I could do to help was hold her hand while Doc fussed about making sure everything was coming along the way it was supposed to. He’s been there for the birth of more than a few babies. I wasn’t worried about him being able to make sure both my wife and my daughter made it through this safely. That didn’t mean it was guaranteed. Nothing in life was. We’d made it through so much already that it seemed like everything could come crashing down in a moment now.-

Doc: -Aurora wasn’t going through this process any more quickly than a human woman might have for all she was a werewolf. Shifter births were always unpredictable. Some were fast and hurried. Others took their sweet time. It was the fast ones that were the most dangerous. The fact that Dinah was being patient enough to wait until the contractions came close enough together to make into the world meant she wasn’t in a huge hurry to get here. That was a good sign. It meant that both Aurora and Dinah stood a better chance of making through all of this in one piece. 

Her water had already broken when I’d gotten here which meant it was a little late to start trying to move her to the house. It also meant I had no clue exactly how much longer this whole process was going to take. Tatiana had gone back to help Logan get Leah to the house. I was glad they had the help I couldn’t give them. There wasn’t much I could do for her except wait. Here, I was needed and busy. 

Soon enough, the contractions had built to the point where I could tell she was coming and fast. I could see the crown of her head with a tuft of dark hair, just like her mother’s and father’s. I looked up to Aurora with a reassuring glance- 

I know this hurts, but I need you to listen to me. When the next contraction hits, you have to push. She’s ready and she’s coming. You just have to make it through the last little bit. Only a few more minutes. 

-Those last few minutes were the worst — the scariest and the most painful, but neither Beezer nor I were going anywhere.- 

We’ve got you. You can do this, Aurora. 

Aurora: ^As soon as Mal and Doc were in the clearing, I just nodded my head at Zeke. His part of the deal was done. Him and Mal could talk everything over later. But I didn’t need him to be here when his niece was being born. If I even decided I wanted Zeke to have anything to do with her. It all depended on how he ran the New Orleans pack.

But as Doc told me I could do this, I shook my head. It wasn’t that I couldn’t do it I knew that I could. What I couldn’t do was have my daughter in a clearing with her father’s ex betrothed and her grandfather dead not even five feet away from us. There was no way I was going to bring her into the world like this. And I didn’t care what the two of them had to do to get me out of this situation.

My voice was a low growl as Mal came to kneel by my head.^ You either clear this area of the two dead bodies, or you move me. She’s not coming into the world like this. I refuse to let her be born around this kind of destruction.

^I could see him pause as I brought up the destruction. And I knew his mind went straight to his wolf. I could see the concern in his eyes. He wasn’t sure what the wolf thought of our daughter. And it wasn’t something I had ever asked him about. But I knew the truth. If Angel was protective over her, Shadow would be just as protective. It was his little girl, too.^ I’m not blaming our wolves, Malachi. They did what they had to do to protect our child. All of this was for her. I do not look at him like a monster. He protected us. And that makes me love him that much more. But you need to figure out a situation so that Dinah isn’t born next to your ex and her dead grandfather. I’m not kidding.

Mal: -She had a point. It was something I’d been too caught up in the moment to notice, but it wasn’t exactly the most ideal place to being our daughter into. Something was going to have to get done about it. I just had to decide what. It was far too late to consider moving Aurora. Dinah was coming here whether we liked it or not. But that didn’t mean that these two bodies needed to stay here. 

What had happened needed to happen, but sitting around the evidence of it all was unnecessary. I leaned down and kissed my wife on the forehead- Give me a minute. I’ll get it fixed. -then leaving to drag the evidence of what had happened off Into the woods. That was better than both of them deserved, but it was what they were going to get. There was no one left to mourn my father anyway. I knew there was going to be no love lost between he and Zeke. My mother was the only one of us with a kind enough heart to care what had happened to him, and she was long gone, by his own hand. He’d dug his own grave. So had Delilah when she tied their destinies together.

It was only a moment before I got back to where I was really and truly needed right now. Grabbing my wife’s hand, I took my place back by her side- 

Doc: -I hadn’t known what Aurora was waiting for until she’d spoken. It was going to happen sooner or later whether she liked it or not, but it was a relief that Beezer worked quickly to clear the clearing of the corpses. If Aurora didn’t want them here it was only going to hinder the progress of what was going on if we kept them here. 

When he rejoined the two of us, I knit my brows together before checking on the progression of the baby-

Alright Aurora, push when you’re ready. 

Aurora: ^I didn’t exactly want to push, but I knew the truth. There was no stopping it. And I was so ready to have Dinah be a part of our lives. I was ready for her to meet her Grandma Colette. She needed to be here for her Aunt Leah and Uncle Logan. It was absolutely time for Dinah Colette to grace us with her presence.

But I also knew that this was going to be the truly painful part. It was time for me to push a baby out of my body. And there was nothing I wanted more. I wanted her to come out with her Daddy holding me and supporting me. I wanted her to realize that this was our family. Everyone currently in the Treehouse was family.

I let out a loud groan as I started pushing. I could hear Malachi softly counting into my ear. And then there was Doc. I wasn’t sure I could do this without him. And I needed him to understand that. But now wasn’t going to be the time to tell him.

Mal started to rub my shoulders as I took a small break from pushing our child out. The last thing I needed was to put too much pressure on myself and Dinah. Or else she would never come out.

I didn’t wait for long before I was back to pushing. And the screams just kept getting louder with each push. This was not a pleasant experience, but it was something I’d have gone through a million times if it meant I had my daughter at the end of it.^

Doc: -This was the point at which a million things could have gone wrong. I needed to pay attention to everything that was going on with Aurora and the baby. Dinah was coming no matter what any of us did, but I needed to keep the both of them as safe as I possibly could. Everything was about timing, when to push, when to stop and let her breathe, when to finally pull the baby free. It took experience, patience, and a cool head. It was my job to be the cool head here while the parents completely lost their cool. That was exactly what they were supposed to do. 

This was probably the most painful thing anyone ever did in their life, but Aurora was handling it like a champ as she breathed through a few pushes. A first baby always took longer than any subsequent births. Dinah was no exception to this rule. It was something every woman who had children went through, but it was usually the last thing they remembered after their long awaited baby finally arrived. 

It wasn’t long before the final push came, and Dinah nearly fell into my arms. She immediately began crying, a strong, loud cry, without any help from me. She was strong, but that was no surprise considering who her parents were. I tugged off the sweatshirt I was wearing, pulling it over my head with one hand while cradling the baby in the other arm until I needed to free that arm from the sleeve. She needed to be wrapped in something. It was still early spring, and even if we were in the deep south, the air was crisp and cool. It had been a cold winter, leaving her out to the cold was the last thing a newborn baby needed. 

I used the sleeve to clean her face, before passing her up to her mother who was only halfway upright due to the enormous man holding her up.- Well, I know this is no surprise, but it appears that you have a daughter. 

Mal: -Doc handed the baby to Aurora first. That was exactly where she needed to be. All babies wanted their mothers, and I was determined that this little girl was going to get all the things I hadn’t gotten. She was going to keep her mother in her life as long as I could manage. I needed Aurora just as much as Dinah was going to. The two of them had become my whole world, even if I’d gotten distracted from it in the past few weeks. The core of it all was me trying to protect the two of them from everything that could come after them. I was determined that I was going to keep things safe however I could. But in the same token, I was going to be as much a part of both their lives as I could manage. That meant I was going to need to make sure someone else was running things in Casper and New Orleans. I made a mental note to make sure Zeke understood exactly what was at stake here, and that if I felt even a little insecure about things this close to my wife and daughter, he was going to pay the price for it. 

For now I had the two of them in my arms, and I wasn’t going to let them go until I had to. I’d been supporting Aurora through all of this, and I didn’t intend to let her down now. My daughter looked remarkably like her mother, even only a few minutes after being born. It was kind of amazing, and I had to admit I was glad she looked so much like her. The two of them were pretty much a fucking miracle as far as I was concerned. The two things I never thought I was going to get had saved me more than they could ever know. - 

Angel girl, you were amazing. I hope you never forget that. 

-I pressed a kiss to her shoulder, keeping her pulled tight against my chest while I supported her weight and let her relax a little. I was going to need to get the both of them back to the house soon. I could handle that. Carrying the two of them wasn’t going to be hard at all. I just needed to give her a moment to rest before I tried any of that. I needed to make sure they were going to be alright.- 

Aurora: ^This was where I wanted to be. I had a crying little girl in my arms and a husband who could only stare at the two of us. This was our family. Doc was there simply to check on how the two of us were doing. He wanted everything to be okay for us. And that's why I trusted him so much. This was something he loved doing. And now that things were smoother with Tatiana, I didn’t see them leaving.

Dinah was going to have more Aunts and Uncles than she knew what to do with. And that was because her father had built a family in this area. He had the siblings that he wanted. There was no one that lived here that he didn’t want to deal with. Once everything was squared away with the New Orleans Pack, I knew that Mal’s focus was going to be on the two of us. I trusted Trent to take care of the Casper pack.

But I knew I was going to have to talk Mal into going back up there. I didn’t want Dinah to have a strained relationship with her grandmother or her Uncle Trent. I wanted her to know the people that did actually love me unconditionally. And I knew there were more than a few benefits to a spur of the moment visit. It wouldn’t give any one time to prepare. And I needed the peace of mind that Trent was absolutely running things properly.

I also wanted to be the one to break the news about Derrick. They needed to know the truth. And it was a truth I wasn’t even ashamed of anymore. I had bargained with his life. Because his life was what kept me and Dinah safe. I wasn’t even sure what had happened to Zeke. I wasn’t sure if he had just taken Derrick from Colette and left, or if there was more to the story. And the truth was, I didn’t care. I was exhausted. And Doc looked more than a little antsy to get back to Tatiana.

Looking up to my husband, I gave him a tired smile. It seemed like he knew what I wanted before I even said it. I was wrapped up in his arms as he stood. The walk back to the treehouse was easy. Doc was still a little concerned about Dinah, but Mal and I knew the truth. She was a Wheeler. She was going to be strong. She’d survive all of this just because she could.

I tried to focus on the man that was carrying me, but I always came back to the little one I held close to my chest. I had felt a small dash of disappointment when she was placed in my arms. I had been hoping she would look just like Malachi. But the truth was that she was all me. And that was something Malachi had wanted the most.

Doc started to run a little ahead of us as the Treehouse came into view. I wasn’t sure what had happened since I had left the living room to go find Mal, but I knew that I was worn out. And with a tiny baby in my arms, it was a wonder that I was still fully functioning. But, Malachi knew me better than I expected. Avoiding the main room, he took the back stairs up to the kitchen. It was a short walk to our room. And as soon as he placed me down on the bed, he slowly stripped me of my clothes before changing into a pair of sleep pants and a plain white tee. Our daughter was taken from my arms as my eyes started to grow heavy. But I knew she was safe. There was nowhere safer than her Daddy’s arms.^

#AlreadyChokingOnMyPride

[treehouseadventures]

I'd Sink Us To Swim

Amiee: *I wasn’t sure about anything these days. I knew that I trusted Leah. But there were things that were ringing in my ears after the showdown at the Treehouse. I knew there were going to be so many questions when I showed up with Colette. But the thing I hadn’t known was Colette attacking Logan the way she did.

But to be fair, I could understand her reasoning. The moment Colette and I had stepped foot out of my car, both Leah and Logan treated her as if she wasn’t there. But I could understand their reasoning. Leah didn’t open up to people she didn’t know. She’d been hurt too many times in her life was my only guess. It was the only reason anyone kept people at arm’s length.

The running joke around the Treehouse was that Leah adopted strays. But I saw it differently. She didn’t adopt us. Yes, she gave everyone a place to get back on their feet. Sometimes she’d set them up with jobs. It always depended on if she had a business she was ready to walk away from. 

I had lucked into the bookstore. I didn’t want much. I just needed a place to call my own. And a space where I could try to learn about my magic. I knew some. I knew enough to keep the wards up at the Treehouse. But they weren’t strong. There was no doubt in my mind about that. 

Logan was the wildcard for me. But in the twenty four hours I had known him, I knew that he was completely loyal to Leah. He was there for her in a way that none of us were. Those of us that had been brought in felt like we owed her for giving us a place to live. Logan was there because Leah was there. He was there to protect her. He wanted to be where she was. And if she said she wanted to go somewhere tomorrow, I had the feeling that he’d bend over backwards to make it happen.

But instead of him being back with Leah, he was in a car with me while we drove to New Orleans. I couldn’t fault Colette for telling me to go get Josh. She was right. If anyone was there that could be used as a pawn against us, we owed it to them to get them out and keep them safe.

I just wasn’t sure how to approach the situation. How did I ask him to come with me when I ran from him. Was I supposed to bear my soul to him? Tell him everything that needed to be said before he agreed to come with me? It wasn’t going to be easy. The only thing I could do was agonize over all of this.* I should have come alone. I can do this alone.

Logan: [I could only scoff at the girl sitting next to me as she drove further away from where I wanted to be. I didn’t like the idea of separating from Leah, but everyone was right. Amiee couldn’t get in and out of New Orleans on her own. There was no way we were going to risk her going in and out without problems as long as witches were involved. And I could only imagine what kind of witches were in the St. Pierre pack.

I didn’t have much information on anyone, but I knew of the curse that had been put on Beezer. It was something Leah and I had talked about at length before coming to the Treehouse. She wanted me to be aware that he had days where he wasn’t sure he could continue. I knew of the source, and with that kind of spell, I knew she was strong.

Amiee didn’t have that kind of power in her. Both Colette and I knew it. We could sense it. I could tell Colette actually practiced her magic. I didn’t, but I had been trained to use it. Amiee was different. She didn’t have control. And she didn’t know what she was doing. She wasn’t going to be able to protect herself or the guy we were going to pick up. She didn’t have the focus. I could tell already.] Throw up a ward. Split your focus. Cast the spell while you’re driving.

Amiee: *I could feel my eyes go wide as Logan said I needed to throw up wards in the middle of a drive. It wasn’t as easy as that. I couldn’t just divert half of my attention to casting a spell while keeping the two of us safe in the car. It wasn’t as easy as he was making it out to be.

But I needed to prove him wrong. I needed him to see that I could do this I could have been on this trip without him. But this was part of the magic. The chip on my shoulder, the anger, made it easier to connect to the world around me. I felt it start to flow through me as the words slipped through my mind. But as soon as it was there, it was gone. I could see the smug smile on Logan’s face as we kept speeding toward New Orleans.* I don’t need the magic to get me in and out of New Orleans. And no one here knows I’m even associated with Leah. I don’t need to cast spells every three seconds. I don’t need to keep the wards up. I don’t need you.

*The dark clouds were quickly forming, and I was mildly happy that we were in the middle of hurricane season. It wasn’t entirely unusual for the weather to change at the drop of a hat. The heat and humidity made rain a constant possibility. The heavy drops flowed like frustrated tears. And I knew that Logan was right about some things. I didn’t have complete control over my magic. But that was something I knew. I knew that the more upset or angry I got, the more my magic worked. 

But it was different having someone sitting next to you pushing at you. It made every inch of self doubt creep up. It made everything come into question. It made me vulnerable. I didn’t know how to handle vulnerable. And that had been the reason I had run from Josh in the first place. I wasn’t sure how to handle being vulnerable with him.* Thank you for making me realize how much of a failure I am.

Logan: You’re not a failure. You’re new to this. Colette and I both know and understand that. It’s something we’re going to work on when we get back to the Treehouse. But you can’t pretend to be in control, Amiee. That’s not how any of this works. The moment you think you can do everything on your own is the moment you make a monumental mistake. 

[My words were serious. I needed her to understand the hard truth in being a witch. You could never think you needed no one. You were always going to need someone. It was a big reason as to why I never practiced my magic until Leah came into the picture.] Colette practices voodoo. I specialize in blood magic. And you’re working with the Earth and elements. Your magic is more pure than mine or Colette’s. Your kind of magic is the root of our magic. We’ll help you get in control, Amiee. The thing is that you cannot do this on your own.

[I wasn’t sure how much to tell her, but I figured the only way to get her to trust me was to be open with her. She needed to know the truth, and if that meant telling her my story, I could do that. I could tell her some stuff I hadn’t exactly gotten around to telling Leah.] I didn’t start practicing magic until I met Leah. That wasn’t that long ago. I had been trained to use it, but I had made a promise to my mother that I wouldn’t use it. She had been raised in a coven, and hated it. She hated the power they tried to tie her down with.

[I could only shake my head as I thought about my mother for the first time in years. Not since her death. The last time I had been to the backwaters of Alabama. And now I was in Louisiana. Closer to Alabama than I wanted to be. But for my wife, I’d have done anything.] My mother had wanted to give up the magic. She didn’t agree with the coven for what they used it for. Punishment and retribution. They controlled the surrounding area because they were feared. My mother was a kind person. She didn’t like the idea of hurting someone else. So she left.

[My eyes found the girl sitting next to me as I took a break from the story. I wasn’t completely sure how to explain the rest of it. I didn’t know how to tell Amiee about the consequences of turning your back on those around you. I didn’t know how to tell her about the price I was going to have to pay in the near future.]

Amiee: *There was more to the story. I knew there was. And Logan was right. Elemental magic was the root of both his and Colette’s magic. Whatever they did was tied into the Earth. And I hated to admit that Logan was right. I needed him and Colette to teach me how to control everything. But I could tell he was getting lost in whatever was haunting him. And it made me ache to see him like this. Leah was going to kill me if she found out about it. 

But I couldn’t bring myself to tell him to stop. I couldn’t tell him that I needed to know this. Because the truth was that I did. I had to know this if I wanted to be in control. Any piece of information I could gather from Logan or Colette about how they control their magic was going to help me control mine. I wasn’t going to assume that this was going to work for me, but it was going to help me figure out what was going to work for me. And that was the thing I needed the most. I needed to figure out what was going to help me control my magic.*

Logan: [I could see Amiee wanted to say something. She wanted to ask a question, but was holding her tongue. I could feel the fact that she was curious. She was being serious about her magic. And she wanted to learn how I had done it. How I had the control even though I didn’t practice it.] My mom met my dad. They fell in love, got married, and eventually had me. I was a kid when I figured out what was going on. I could tie myself to people. But I didn’t know what I was doing. My mother did. And from the time I was about five years old until I turned sixteen she trained me. She taught me everything about our magic. But she told me I wasn’t to ever use it. Blood magic always came with a price. She hadn’t paid hers yet. But I was to never use it. Not until I found a woman I wanted to bind myself with for the rest of my life. It wasn’t until Leah that I was ready. I found someone I could bind myself to.

[Shaking my head, I turned my attention back to the road in front of us. We weren’t far from New Orleans now. To me, it didn’t matter. We were going to make this trip as fast as possible. In and out of the city. I didn’t like the idea of Colette being the only witch at the Treehouse. It felt like I had left them unprotected.] Leah and I are bound together. She is my anchor to my magic. She makes it stronger. It’s my love for her that makes protecting her and everyone in the Treehouse vital for me. I don’t use the sinister part of my magic. Everything I’ve done was for the greater good of those I have chosen to protect. You need to figure out what will be that for you. If it’s this guy, then you need to be honest with him. Don’t try to protect him from all of this by leaving him in the dark. It’s going to be a lot to handle. But we’ll have people who can help him get comfortable with the idea. I want to protect both of you, but keeping him in the dark isn’t going to be the way to do it.

Amiee: *I could only focus on the road ahead of me. The landscapes were quickly changing from trees and forests to cities and towns. I wasn’t entirely sure Logan was right, though. Maybe protecting Josh meant not telling him everything. Maybe it was keeping him in the dark. But as my tongue flicked against the piercing in my cheek, I knew the truth.

Keeping Josh in the dark about everything wasn’t going to be to protect him. It was going to protect me. It was just another side of me that he wasn’t going to see. It kept some sort of mystery about me. It kept me protected. It didn’t give Josh more ammunition to hurt me with later. If I told him everything, he had another weapon. Another reason to leave me when he, inevitably, decided I wasn’t worth it.

I wasn’t entirely sure what to do. I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t want to pull him out of his lie. I didn’t want to bother him. But I knew there was only so much I could do. There was too much at risk to let him live his life in oblivion. There was too much at risk for anyone to stay in the dark. Besides, if he was going to the Treehouse, he was going to have to know things. There was going to be too many questions. Conversations were going to be overheard. He was going to have questions. But I still wasn’t sure I was ready for this. I was barely ready to go face to face with Josh. How in the hell was I supposed to tell him everything else that went along with being a part of my life?*

#IdSinkUsToSwim

[do-no-harm-spencer]

Building It Up To Break It Back Down (SL with @InColdDecember)

Spencer: -We were back at home, but I didn’t know for how long. I felt completely torn in half here. I was a scientist, first and foremost, or at least I thought I was. I hadn’t been able to use a bit of it to help Tati though. She was no better off after having met me than she had been before. The most I’d been able to accomplish had been to figure out that her shifting was tied to Mercury and its orientation to Earth rather than the moon like most shifters.

Maybe studying weres and shifters wasn’t the most scientific thing to begin with. It had always had the element of the supernatural about it, but I’d convinced myself that the supernatural was only what we didn’t have sufficient science to explain.

Yet, here I was willing to put all of this into the hands of magic. Logan claimed he was going to be able to help Tatiana, and I sincerely hoped that he could. There would be nothing I’d like more than to be the wrongest and least scientific doctor on the face of the planet where all of this was concerned. I needed her to have something here. I needed her to have some sense of control of her life and her shifting. I wanted her to not be afraid of her own body and the cage that she felt trapped in every time Mercury was in retrograde.  No potion or medicine or treatment I’d been able to concoct in all this time had ever done that for her for even a moment. Nothing was strong enough to overcome the power that the wolf and that planet held over her.

So if we had to put it into the hands of magic to handle then so be it. I knew she was terrified, but I wasn’t going anywhere no matter what this cost me. I was also slightly terrified of what it would cost her. I knew Leah. I knew she would do almost anything to protect her family, and I knew she was touchy, pushing things perhaps too far to make sure that happened. It left Tati feeling like she was going to be used. I didn’t think it was something Leah was capable of, but I didn’t know how a crisis would change things. And I didn’t want either one of them to regret the outcome of this when all was said and done.

I was putting my trust in Beezer to make sure that didn’t happen. He knew what it was like to be under someone else’s control, to be forced to do things you didn’t want to for a cause you didn’t believe in. That was all I had. I had to rely on his strength to overcome the strength I didn’t have, because in this group at least, I was nothing, a mere human. Any one of them could have taken me out in a blink, even Rora in the state she was in. I would have been nothing to them. There was nothing I could to to protect a single one of them, not even the woman I loved.

It was a weird feeling being entirely helpless. I didn’t know what to tell Tati either. I didn’t know if we should run and hide and wait all this out or join the rest of them. I didn’t know if we even had a choice in the end for all that everyone was telling us. I was just going to go with her whatever she decided. That was all I had. I’d start over anywhere as long as she was at my side.

She was in the next room pacing. I could hear her footsteps on the floor as she was working out what she wanted to do. I’d told her as soon as we’d arrived back at home that I was putting it all in her hands. She could decide if she wanted to stay and work at this or leave. I wasn’t going to push her into anything she didn’t want for a moment, no matter what the chances were that she was going to be able to walk out of this in control of her wolf. I couldn’t do that to her. I wouldn’t do that to her. It had to be her call completely.-

Tati: *I didn’t have answers for Spencer. I knew that that was what he was waiting for. He wanted me to make a decision. And whatever decision I made, he was going to support it. That’s who he was. Spencer knew enough about who I was to know that this was a decision he wasn’t going to be able to debate. He could tell me what he thought was the correct move. He could tell me what he would do. But he couldn’t make the decision for me. And I loved him for understanding.

But what I needed was him in the same room with me. With each step I took, I placed my hand on the door to his office. That’s where he was hiding while I tried to figure out what I was going to do. Every instinct inside of me was screaming for me to run. I didn’t want to be here for this. I didn’t want to be a weapon. But there was one person that wasn’t going to let me be a weapon.

To me, it was funny to see that the one person I had been the most terrified of was the one person who wanted to protect me in all of this. Beezer had been used as a weapon, and he understood my hesitance. He knew what I had seen the moment I was told that I needed to fight. And he understood the reason I was afraid to shift. Even if we did get my ability to shift under control, I didn’t know what kind of temperament I was going to have.

The last comment that had been made to me before we came back to our place had been thinking about moving into the Treehouse. I understood why Beezer wanted it. He wanted everyone close. But it also gave everyone the chance to stand watch as I figured out what the hell I was doing. And that was what scared me. I knew I was different. I knew that because of when and why I shifted, I was different. But the part that scared me was everyone seeing just how much bigger I got as a wolf.

There was no denying that I was bigger than an alpha. I was as fast as one, too. But being controlled by Mercury made things a little more difficult to handle. I wasn’t nice. I could be more brutal than anyone could predict. There was no way to figure out exactly what kinds of  issues I had because of how I was controlled. There hadn’t been a wolf that had ever been controlled by Mercury. No one was sure of what I was capable of. The one thing I knew was that I made sure to put myself out in the middle of nowhere for each shift.

Stopping at the door to Spencer’s office, I could only think about how dangerous all of this was. And the last thing I wanted was to worry about Spencer every time I was training. But I knew I couldn’t be at the Treehouse without him.* You can’t be around me when they fuck around with my shifting. You have to stay in the house with Aurora. Examine her, keep her calm, I don’t care. But you cannot be anywhere near me. That’s the only way I can do this.

Spencer: -I looked up when I heard her in the doorway. I knew Tati was there before she even spoke, but I waited until she started talking before I looked up from my desk with a half smile. There were about a million emotions swirling around in my head, but there was no way seeing her in the doorway to my office was not going to pull a smile to my face. I heard what she was saying, and I knew she was right. It was going to be hard enough for her to work on this whole shifting thing without worrying about me or everyone else who was watching.

But I had a feeling, just from the conversation we’d had on the ride home, that Beezer wasn’t going to let any of that happen. He had more of an understanding of this process than I ever would, and there would forever be that in common between them. It was simultaneously frustrating that I couldn’t be there for her in that respect, and comforting that there was at least someone who could be.

Whatever I had to do to help her in this process would be important. If that meant I had to stay shut away in the house when it all started, then I’d stay shut away in the house. I’d read books and check on Aurora or just work on researching something, anything to keep me out of the way until she got this under control. - You know I’ll do whatever you need, and I don’t think Beezer is going to let any of us out of the house unless it’s absolutely necessary. He’s probably more  protective than you are, if that’s even possible. -letting out a breath and walking over to her to rest my hands on her arms- And I mean whatever you need… you know that right?

Tati: *I didn’t know how to do any of this. I wasn’t sure how to agree to anything. I was still scared. I had a million and one thoughts running through my head, and I still couldn’t get myself to focus. The weight of Spencer’s hands on my arms made things a little clearer though. I knew I could tell him whatever was running through my mind, and he wouldn’t judge me for it.

My words were soft as I felt my head fall forward. My chin meeting my chest as I let out a soft sigh.* I need you. That’s what I need. I need to know that even if we decide to do this, I can still leave whenever I want. Even if it’s in the middle of the night. I need to be able to run.

*The panic was starting to set in as I thought about what I was doing. The power I was handing over to someone that wasn’t Spencer. I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t like the idea of it. None of it made me feel any better. I didn’t feel safe. And that was a dangerous feeling to have.* I don’t like the idea of leaving our house. But you need to be close to Aurora. I know you’re starting to get a little nervous since she’ll probably have the baby soon. And I know you want to be close in case she has any problems. So let’s pack our stuff and move into the Treehouse with a bunch of people that want to use me in a fight.

Spencer: -I could hear the defeat in her voice. I didn’t know if this was what she really wanted to do, or just what she thought she needed to do. And I didn’t know the right course of action to take myself. There was no telling where any of this was going to lead, or if we were going to regret it when all was said and done. It held the potential to be a good thing in the end, getting rid of the St. Pierre pack for once and for all, giving Tati a chance to control her shifting and her wolf finally, giving the rest of the shifters around here a safe place to be. And in the same token, or rather on the other side of the same coin, the possibility existed that things could end up far worse, that we could lose it all and everyone that mattered to us, or that we could just replace Amos St. Pierre with something worse.  

Nothing was certain, and while I tended towards optimism, I had to admit that this was all a little more than my optimism could handle. I had to rely on hope, at the least the bit of hope I could muster for all of this. I let my hands slide up Tati’s arms to pull her into my chest as I wrapped my own around her slender frame-

Tati, we don’t have to do anything here. We don’t owe anyone anything, but if this is something you want to try then we can give it a try. And if you decide you want to run in the middle of the night then all you have to do is say so. We can go any time. I’ll make sure of it.

Tati: *He was right to a degree. We didn’t have to do anything. I didn’t have to be a part of this fight. But I owed it to Beezer to try and fight. I owed it to him to try and get the shifting under control. I didn’t owe it to anyone else. And if push came to shove, I was going to let everyone know that fact. Beezer was the only reason I was toying with the idea.

I could feel myself start to shake as Spencer wrapped me up in his arms. The only thing I could do was cling to him. As much as I wanted to do this for Beezer, I was also doing this for Spencer. I needed to be able to control my shifting. I didn’t like leaving him when Mercury took control. I didn’t like leaving him unprotected.

But I didn’t have much of a choice. It was either leave him or hurt him. And I couldn’t hurt Spencer. He meant everything to me, and I wasn’t ever going to risk him.* Even if I don’t do this for me, I need to have the ability to change at will for you. I don’t like leaving you alone when I have to shift. I’d feel guilty if anything happens. I need to be in control of myself for you.

Spencer: -I pulled her closer into my chest, just letting her breathe until the shudders that wracked her body subsided, my hands running lightly across her back until she was just breathing evenly. She was going to try, but I wasn’t going to let her go too far with all of this. I refused to let her get herself lost in all of this, and I hoped Beezer was going to refuse as well. I had faith that he was going to help her to the best of his ability.

And in the end faith was all I could manage to have. I had no way of knowing how any of this was going to turn out, but I knew that in the end I was going to do whatever was best for Tati. Hopefully, this decision was going to turn out to be the best for all of us. Only time would tell.-

Then we go. I’ll be right here no matter what happens. You don’t have to do this for me. You and I are what we are no matter what comes of all of this. I hope you know that.

-That was all I knew to tell her. I was going to be here no matter what. She needed to know that there wasn’t going to be anything that happened short of death that was going to take me from her. I was fairly certain she wouldn’t believe it, no matter how often I told her. But I was going to say it no matter what.-

#BuildingItUpToBreakItBackDown

[do-no-harm-spencer]

Pretending I Don’t Feel Misplaced (SL with @IWillNotFade @InColdDecember and @EverSoPatiently)

Tati: *Doc had called a million times asking me to stop. Telling me that he was coming to find me. I just couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to hide from him, but I couldn’t face Leah or Logan after I had walked away from everyone. I knew they blamed me. They hated me for leaving. For not being willing to help. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t bring myself to face Malachi. He was just too much. I wasn’t willing to let myself be a pawn like he was.

 They claimed they weren’t going to use me as a weapon. Logan claimed he could play with my shifting. It wasn’t the shifting I was concerned about. It had never been the shifting. It was my temperament as a wolf that terrified me. I knew I was vicious. The only person I could be around when I shifted was Doc. But even that was a touchy subject. I didn’t trust myself around Spencer. I wanted to. I wanted to let him be beside me every step of the way. But this wasn’t easy for me. It hadn’t ever been easy.

 I felt myself shiver as I settled on a down tree branch. No matter what, I kept moving. I knew it was a matter of time until Spencer found a way to find me. But I wasn’t sure what was going to happen. I wasn’t sure how he was going to find me. I didn’t know if Leah and Logan were going to be with him, or if he was going to be alone.

 To be honest, I wasn’t entirely sure I trusted Leah and Logan. I didn’t know if the two of them had what was best for me in mind when they tried to get me to be a part of their pack. In fact, I knew they didn’t. They were thinking about what was the best move for the pack. What was the best move to take down the St. Pierre pack. I didn’t hold that against them. But I stood by the fact that they didn’t know what they were asking of me.

 It was a scenario I had let go through my mind a million times. What if I did let Logan manipulate my genes? He claimed that he could give me the power to shift at will. But was I crazy to not trust the magic he was offering? I didn’t trust anyone. It was something that was always in the back of my mind. I was going to be used as a weapon. It was what the other wolves in my father’s pack had wanted. But my father knew it wasn’t fair to me. So he let me go. And issued the warning that if anyone came for me, they were dead. Even if I wasn’t a part of that pack, I was still his daughter. I always would be.

 I could have run back there. Arkansas was only a few miles away. I knew I was sitting close to the border. But I also knew that if I did go there, Spencer was going to find me. But I knew I needed to stop. I needed Spencer in a way I hadn’t ever needed, or wanted, anyone before. I wanted to trust him. I wanted to give him every part of me. But I wasn’t entirely sure how to do it. I didn’t know how to open myself up to him.

 Pulling out my phone, I sent him one message. I didn’t know if it would bring him to me, or drive him away, but I needed something. I needed him to know that I loved him. It was the only way he knew I was giving him something. I wasn’t sure if he was going to accept it, but I needed him to know that I was trying.* There’s a wooded area off of route 167 just before you cross the border into Arkansas.

 Spencer: -I didn’t even have to pick my phone up to know it was Tati texting me. I’d set her tones to something different than everyone else a million years ago. The sound alone told me everything I needed to know. I’d been trying to call her since she ran out that door, but I knew better than to think she was going to answer me. The fact that she was texting me now was more of a surprise than I cared to admit out loud.

 This wasn’t the first time that Tati had run away. She had a habit of avoiding everyone, even me, when things became too much for her to handle, when the time came for her to shift or when she just couldn’t take any more of the world. I’d learned not to take it personally a long time ago, but sometimes it was hard. This time was one of those times.

 The thing was, this time, I was already out looking for her. I hadn’t known where to begin, but Beezer had. He’d scented her at least this far, and judging from her text, we didn’t have much farther to go. I had no clue how she was going to react once we got there a whole hell of a lot faster than we probably should have. All I could do was take a deep breath and let the two weres who’d come with me this far know what the message had said.-

 So, she just messaged me. -glancing over at Beezer and Aurora with a soft exhale before I continued- She’s not far. A grassy area off route 167. Do you know it? Because I do if you don’t.

 -I’d passed it before, without knowing it was the place she would run to. Maybe it was where she always went, maybe it was somewhere else, a random place she’d just picked out of the blue. I had no way of knowing. I could only hope that she wouldn’t freak out when I didn’t show up alone and run again, this time to somewhere we wouldn’t be able to find.

 I grabbed my phone and tapped out a reply- I’ll be there soon. -sending it before I slid my phone back into my pocket, mind churning to try to figure out what to do when we got there. I didn’t know if I should go out and speak to her on my own before I let her know the other two were there or what. I knew she would probably know they were coming before she saw them, that she would smell them on the wind before she scented me if the wind was right. I had no clue what I was doing here. I just needed to find her.-

 Rora:  ^As soon as Doc said she was in the area just off of 167, I knew where she was. It was a place I had visited one time, but I felt myself take in a breath of air. I didn’t like thinking of that time. I couldn’t ignore the look from Mal, though. And I knew I was going to have to explain to him why I knew it. But I also knew that we didn’t need to go barging in like we owned the place. As we pulled off the road, I let my hand rest on Mal’s arm.^ We can’t go to her just yet. Doc needs to talk to her alone. He’ll help in getting her to listen to us.

 ^I knew Mal didn’t like sending Spencer to talk to her alone. He didn’t know what was in these woods. But I knew what was here. It was relatively safe. Derrick was back in New Orleans with Mal’s family. I couldn’t even begin to understand what was going on there. I could imagine it, though. They were doing everything to prepare for battle. I knew Derrick. I knew what a battle meant to him. And if the stories Mal had told me were anything to go by, I knew that he would fit in with the St. Pierre’s.^ She doesn’t know you like I do. She knows the horror stories of your father’s pack, though. She knows you were used as a weapon, Mal. She has never seen you when we’re together. She doesn’t know that you can be the sweetest guy in the world. She doesn’t understand that.

 ^Taking a breath, I brought my leg up and folded it under me. As I turned to face Mal, I was struck by his beauty. I wasn’t sure if he was ever going to acknowledge it, but he was handsome. I had learned to stop telling him, though. All he saw were the scars and injuries. I saw them for what they were, marks of a survivor.^ When you’re alone, you’re a lot to take in. And that’s when you’re not a wolf. You know that as a wolf you’re big and imposing. You could give her a run for her money if you wanted to control her.

 ^Putting a hand up as Mal went to rebuke me, I gave him a look.^ I know you would never do it. I know that you hate what your father made you into. I know that’s why you and Leah are still together after all this time. But Tatiana doesn’t understand that. Logan and Leah might not understand, but she kept herself away from us for a reason. Not only does she not have control as a wolf, she’s in the same space as you. And everything she knows about you makes her scared. So she kept herself at arms length to protect everyone, even herself. You can’t give her another reason to be afraid of you, Malachi. She needs to see what I see. She needs to understand that you’re not the wolf your father or brothers are. She needs to know that you don’t want to use her as a weapon.

 Mal: -I made myself listen as my wife talked, despite my gut instinct being to disagree with her. I knew she was right. It wasn't what she was trying to tell me that I thought was wrong. It was just that I knew Tatiana’s gut reaction to me was the one I'd been fighting all my life not to be. My father had wanted me to be this fighting machine, a tool that he could wield as he and then my older brother saw fit. I wouldn't have used the power I had to control another, not when it was exactly what had been done to me. But I also knew Tatiana had no way of knowing that.

 She didn't know me, not at all, and I'd only ever caught glimpses of her in passing during the few times she'd been at the treehouse. I knew I could be intimidating. I was almost as big as my brother, and I was faster. It gave me the advantage in a fight and it was pretty evident to anyone who knew anything about a fight at first glance. I wasn't a fool. Never mind the scars I'd been left with after years of fighting both on behalf of my family and on my own just for survival after I left. I was strong, but I wasn't invincible.

 I'd been brought along to help find her. Doc was the one she was tied to, and as nervous as letting him go in to find her alone made me, I knew it was a necessary evil. I was still going to be on edge as all this happened though. There was no getting around any of that. If she saw me coming, her first instinct was going to be to run. He was going to have to soften her up for me to be able to get even close enough to her to get a word in. And there were a few words I needed to get in.

 There wasn't anyone here who understood that fear of being used for what you were quite like I did. There was more than a bit of terror in not being in control of yourself during a shift. The ability to recall what had happened when I shifted came and went with the moods of my wolf. If he had business he didn't want me to know about, I wasn't going to remember a moment of it. If he allowed, I would have perfect recognition. I supposed it was his way of protecting me from knowing about how he took care of business. And I supposed it was a mercy, but I was never in control.

 Reaching out to run a hand along Rora’s arm until my fingers found hers and I gave her hand a squeeze, keeping it there even after I could have pulled away- Then Doc goes in first, but I want to talk to her. I need her to know what's real. At least I need to try to tell her. I don't know how much good it will do.

 Spencer: -Beezer and Aurora were talking along the edge of the road, but I paid them little attention. I didn’t know what was passing between the two of them at the moment, perhaps it wasn’t my place to know. I did know them both well enough to know that they were going to try to help as much as they could. I’d tried before to explain a little to Tati about him, but she couldn’t get past the last name. I’d heard of the St. Pierre’s. I’d been in Louisiana for awhile now, and there was no way to be a part of the shifter world here without hearing about them. I had to admit that it gave me pause at first. His name, combined with his size, was enough to frighten anyone. I couldn’t blame her for that.

 But I’d gotten to know him since his arrival, at least on a few occasions. He didn’t remember what happened when he shifted, and he had a tendency to come back from those sessions with a wound or two. I’d forced him to come see me about the worst of them, the ones he couldn’t take care of himself. They healed fast, but they could still get infected, and they had a rough time coming back from something during the full moon when all their energy was focused on the animal within.

 He was a lot like her. He had a hard time controlling his shifting from time to time, but mostly he had a hard time controlling the wolf that came out. It was merciful enough to block him from remembering what it got up to when it was more than the man could handle. In truth, he was a giant, but he was fairly soft spoken and gentle. The man and the wolf were two different, albeit connected things. The scientist in me found him fascinating. He was bred to be a weapon, and he’d overcome all of that breeding and training to be what he had become.

 But I also understood why Tatiana was frightened. If I’d grown up with stories of what the family could get up to, I would be just as terrified. I had the advantage of coming at everything here from an outsider’s perspective.

 I left the two of them behind. I needed to go in first to try to explain to Tati what was going on, why the two of them were here and just pray she didn’t run again. The clearing wasn’t far from the highway, though it was concealed by a stand of trees I needed to make my way around to come out into the open. I had no idea what to expect when i walked into the clearing. She’d all but asked me to come with that text message, so I could only assume she wanted me to find her.

 My eyes darted around the clearing, looking for any sign of her as I called out her name- Tati? -The uncertainly in my voice was clear. She was here somewhere. I knew that much at least.-

 Tati: *I heard Spencer calling out, and I had been right. It hadn’t taken that long for him to come looking for me. It also helped that he knew where I was running to. I just knew that there was a risk with walking over the border into Arkansas. I knew that there was a chance I was going to be looked for. And I wasn’t about to go there. I wasn’t ready to give myself up to any one pack. I didn’t trust any person enough to be with a pack. In truth, Spencer was my pack. He was the only one I cared about.

 Stepping out into the clearing, I took a breath. My senses were heightened, so I could smell that he wasn’t alone. Or rather that he hadn’t been alone. But I knew he needed help in finding me.* I can’t do it, Spencer. I can’t let them do that to me. Am I insane for not being sure about Logan’s magic? Am I stupid for not being willing to see if it works?

 *My nerves were shot. There was no way to explain it. But I needed him to see my side of everything, and that had never been an issue with Spencer. He understood me in a way no one else understood. We had spent so much time talking about everything. He knew my fears and my reactions better than I did.* I understand that this is their family, and they want to do everything in their power to protect it, but am I crazy for wanting to protect myself?

 Spencer: -I could hear the fear in her voice. She was scared, but there was more behind it than that. She wasn’t just scared of Beezer. It was what he represented that terrified Tati. To her, he was everything she was afraid of being. I raked a hand through my hair listening to her as I slowly approached the edge of the clearing she’d appeared from.

 I needed to be closer to her, needed her to be able to look into my eyes so she could see that I meant what I was saying.- Tati, there’s nothing wrong with protecting yourself. I’d be mad if you didn’t. Don’t give up anything without a fight. That’s not who you are. I don’t expect you to just let anyone do anything to you.

 -I was close enough to touch her, though I didn’t. I just let the distance between us close to almost nothing.- I know you know I didn’t come alone. They’re waiting at the car, but I won’t let them come in here if you don’t want them to.

 -I couldn’t resist the urge to reach up and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. I wanted to take care of her for all the fact that she was in truth much stronger than I was.-

 Tati: *I could only press my face against Spencer’s hand as he tucked my hair behind my ear. I wanted to pretend that none of this was dangerous. I wanted to think that none of this had happened. We weren’t running for our lives. I wasn’t putting everyone in jeopardy by running. But I knew I was protecting them when they couldn’t see what I was for themselves. I was more concerned with them than they were. They were only thinking of the temporary. The immediate danger. They didn’t understand long term. They didn’t understand that this was my life.

 But as I relaxed against Spencer, I was hit with the sudden realization that it wasn’t Leah and Logan who had come with him. He had said they were in the car. He never said who it was. And him not telling me who it was should have been the biggest clue that he was hiding something. And I wasn’t going to like what he was going to tell me.* You didn’t, Spencer. Tell me you didn’t come with Beezer. Of all the people, you know I can’t go there. I cannot begin to think about why you thought that was a good idea.

 *I felt myself start to tremble as I thought about Beezer being so close. The man that was the physical representation of my fear. I didn’t know how to act around him. It wasn’t that I was afraid of him, I was afraid of what he was. I was terrified that someone would do that to me. And it was something I ran from. I didn’t want to give anyone the chance to see it.* If you thought him talking to me was going to be the best idea, you’re mistaken. You know I can’t go there. I cannot begin to think about it.

 Rora: ^I had given Doc the benefit of the doubt, but this was getting to be a little much. I could see Mal fidgeting, and I knew I needed to get him out of the car. I needed him to get some fresh air. I needed him to relax. Because the truth was that he was going to lose it. And that was when things were going to get dangerous.

 I wasn’t going to let him go to her, though. As I stepped out of the car, I lifted my hand towards him. It was a beckoning. I wanted him with me, and I knew he wasn’t going to let me go far without him. I wasn’t sure if it was a side effect of me being pregnant, but I wasn’t allowed to be on my own. And it was okay. I knew he was trying to protect me. They both were. But I knew how to protect him, as well.

 With my hand entwined with his, we started towards the clearing where I knew Tatiana was going to be. And I heard what she was saying. And I understood it to a degree. I could see the pain written on my husband’s face though. And that was the thing that Tatiana had never understood. She didn’t get that this wasn’t someone he wanted to be. He didn’t want people to fear him. It was something he hated about himself. My voice was soft as I walked into the clearing. I gave Doc a small smile as I walked forward.^ We didn’t bring Mal along to talk to you. It’s quite the opposite. I was brought along to talk to you. Mal came because he’s my shadow. Especially with this baby. He’s concerned about keeping it safe. He’s worried about keeping me safe. The last thing he wants is for anyone to be used like he’s been used.

 ^Coming to stand in front of Tati, I let out a soft sigh. I knew this wasn’t going to be easy for any of us involved. But I knew it was going to be painful if it all came from Mal. So I felt the words start to tumble from my lips.^ Mal wasn’t always a blackout wolf. It was a side effect of his training. And I am eternally grateful to that wolf of his. He protects my husband when I can’t. When no one else was able to, the wolf has always protected Mal.

 ^Casting a glance over my shoulder, I looked at my husband who was doing everything to not hear what I was saying. He didn’t want to admit any of this to anyone, but I knew the truth. Tatiana needed to hear this. She needed to know that this wasn’t something Mal wanted to do.^ Mal knows what it’s like to be used as a weapon. I understand why you’re terrified of him. But it’s not him that you’re afraid of. I know that, too. I know that you’re afraid of everything Mal was taught to be. But I can tell you that he’s not going to let that happen to you. You can say you’re protecting yourself, but the truth is that you’re protecting everyone else. Let Mal protect you.

 Mal: -Mal… Malachi. That name I hadn’t heard for a long damned time off anyone’s lips but Rora’s. It belonged there. No one had called me that since I was small, when my mother would call me in for dinner or from upstairs to come down for chores and school. Beezer had been the name of choice for the rest of the world. The name my brother’s had given me when Zeke gave me a broken nose as a seven year old.

 I knew Tatiana was terrified of me. I knew most people were. Leah and Rora were the rare exceptions. I couldn’t help how I was perceived by the rest of the world. I was what I was. My father had seen to that. But I was a lot more than that. Tati only saw the part that my father had wanted to project to the rest of the world.

 Rora wasn’t wrong about the wolf. He and I had been bred to be weapons. The blackouts had been trained into me to keep me from objecting or even knowing what was going on when my father was in control. But the wolf had kept them in place when we left. As much as I hated not remembering, at times it was merciful.

 I kept my distance as the two of them spoke, but I couldn’t help but overhear what they were saying. My ears could have picked up their gentle conversation at twice the distance even if I tried not to pay attention to it. They were talking about me. The thought made me uncomfortable enough without hearing exactly what they had to say about me.

 I could feel my chest tighten at the words that came from their mouths. Tati clearly didn’t want me here, and I couldn’t blame her for that. My wife was insistent that here was the very place I needed to be. Tati was afraid of not me, but of becoming me. I couldn’t say that I blamed her, but if she thought Leah was going to use her the way my father had used me, she was mistaken. It wasn’t something she would even do, but if she tried, I’d have refused to allow it. There was no way I was going to let that happen to someone else the way it had happened to me whether I knew them or not.

 I could only step forward, coming close enough to the three of them to make certain I was heard as I spoke- She’s not wrong… She never is really. -shaking my head before I ran a hand roughly over my face, taking a deep breath.- I’d die before I let someone get used the way that I was. I didn’t have anyone to fight for me, and the one person who tried to protect me paid for it with her life. -I took a deep breath, holding back the emotion I could feel welling in my chest, the wolf pacing slightly at the tension that wrought in my frame, though I knew he was going to stay put for now, at least- Protecting everyone else and protecting yourself… Those don’t have to be something you do on your own.

 Tati:*I was a little surprised when Beezer walked up to me. But he still kept his distance. Like he knew all of this was hard on me. The running had been the worst. Leaving Spencer behind was something I never wanted to do. I didn’t like the thought of leaving him. But I knew the truth. He loved his work with Leah. He loved being there for them. He wanted to give them a safe haven. He didn’t want them to have to answer questions. So he played doctor with them. He gave them the reassurances they needed. He was finding a home.

 I wasn’t sure what I was finding. But the truth was I didn’t know what the next step was supposed to be. I could only tell them what had happened in the kitchen of the Treehouse. I needed Beezer and Aurora to know the truth of what had happened.* Have you ever been told you have the choice of doing something? But really the choice has already been made? That’s what Leah and Logan did to me. I didn’t get a choice with them. They told me I didn’t have to fight with them. They told me I could walk away from it. But when I told them that I didn’t want to be a part of the fight, I got bullied. I got told that if I didn’t fight, the fight was going to find me anyway. So, essentially, it didn’t matter if I didn’t want to fight. I was fighting.

 *I felt myself lean against Spencer as the tears started to well in my eyes. I didn’t know how much Mal knew about the discussion with Leah, but he needed to know the truth. I had no idea how they had gotten him to come. I wasn’t sure what lies people had told him.* I have never had control over myself when I shift. And that is okay. I’ve come to terms with it. I’ve figured out how to protect Spencer. That’s all I’ve been able to focus on for the past few years.  

 *I felt the tension in my body as I thought about how many years it had taken before I knew what the hell was going on with me. And in that time to learn how to protect Spencer from when I changed. It was a very long process.* I may have more time to practice, but all of that goes out the window for two weeks every three months. It takes every ounce of control to go somewhere where I won’t hurt people when it’s time to shift. Leah and Logan are now asking me to try to learn everything again. Even with Logan manipulating me into shifting whenever I want, the problem of my temperament remains. Should I risk everyone around me? Are you willing to risk Rora and the baby if I don’t have control when I shift?

 Mal: -I didn’t have the answers that Tati seemed to so desperately want, and the sheer mention of risking Rora and the baby had my wolf straining at the bars that held him in tenuously in place. I could hear the doubt and fear in her voice. I had no way of convincing her that she was going to be able to do this, and I could tell that she had no faith in her or Logan’s ability to make this work.

 She was telling me Leah and Logan had pushed her into this corner, one where she got told to shit or get off the pot before she got slapped across the face that this was going to happen whether she liked it or not. I knew Leah. I knew she wasn’t exactly a bully, but that she was going to do whatever she needed to do to protect the house and the people in it, which included Tati whether she believed it or not.

 I kept my voice soft for the moment, though I couldn’t stop the deep rumble that came with the effort of holding the wolf within me at bay- I thought the same thing the first time I shifted around her, around any of them. The black wolf in me… -shaking my head for the moment as I thought about the things that he’d done- he is ruthless, and I’ve seen the aftermath of the things he’s done. He was trained to be a killing machine. That’s all I was supposed to be good for. I can’t make you any promises except this one. Whenever you shift, he will be there. And I can promise you there isn’t anything he wouldn’t do to protect his family. I know you know me… even if I don’t know you. At least you know me by reputation, and I can’t say I blame you for being scared.

 I can’t tell you all of this is going to turn out alright. I can’t tell you my family isn’t going to come in teeth bared and snarling and take us all down. But I have to fight for what I’ve found. Life isn’t worth living without it. I was born into a family that only wanted me for what I could do for them. I stumbled into one that would do anything for me instead. You can be a part of that too. I know what it’s like to shut the world away, to keep yourself apart to protect others. It’s part of protecting yourself too. I’ve been there.

 I spent a long time on my own before I came here with Leah. She was the first person who took me in and made me part of her life when I had nothing to offer her. She’s ruthless too when it comes to protecting what she loves, but I’ll keep her in check, even if no one else can. She hates this whole alpha thing. I can’t say I blame her. It wasn’t the life either of us wanted exactly. She does the best she can with it.

 -I knew I was babbling. I was a little nervous. And I wasn’t sure I could convince Tatiana of anything, especially when I wasn’t good with words. Reaching out for Rora’s hand, I threaded my fingers between hers and drew her into my side.- I’ll protect my family. And I don’t just mean Rora and the baby… -trying to catch Tatiana’s eyes with my own- The offer to be a part of the family is there if you want to take it, the protection too. I won’t let them push you past what you’re capable of doing, but I think you’re capable of a lot more than you know.

 -I could smell the fear on her, but I could smell the wolf too. I’d scented her in the woods around the Treehouse on occasion, but that occasion was rare. I knew she kept to herself, and I’d let her. I knew that need to be a loner better than most around here. Leah knew it too, though for her it was for an entirely different reason.- Go ahead and slap me if I’m wrong here. I won’t stop you. And I won’t stop you from running if it’s the thing you need to do.

 Rora: ^I could only shake my head at Mal. The truth was that he was intense on a good day. On a bad day, he was downright intimidating. And I wasn’t entirely sure what kind of a day this was for him. It could be a good day when he thought he was being intense. But to Tatiana, it could be a bad day. Taking a breath, I couldn’t stop myself from joining in again. But this time, I turned my attention back to my husband. I could see him with that singular focus. He was defending Leah, and didn’t understand what it was like for outsiders. It was the same thing I had gone through the first time I had met Leah. He was underestimating Tatiana.^ Malachi. Take a breath, and listen to her.

 ^Moving to put myself in my husband’s line of sight, I needed him to see that this was serious. I had to make him realize that his blind trust in Leah didn’t always work for everyone. It hadn’t been a comfort to me, and it wasn’t a comfort to Tatiana.^ You’re making the same assumption that Leah made. You know your wolf because he is a part of you. You know that he was taught to be a killing machine. But the problem that you, Leah, and Logan are all overlooking is that Tatiana knows her wolf as well as you know yours.

 ^I couldn’t help the tinge of disappointment in my tone. Everyone wanted what was best for the Treehouse. They wanted what was best for the people living there. They wanted to get everyone they knew into the fight. But they didn’t want to listen when there was something to take into consideration.^ This isn’t about being like you. This isn’t about her being a weapon. This is about Tatiana being afraid to put everyone around her at risk. She doesn’t want to hurt anyone. And that’s something she’s afraid of. It’s a valid point, Mal. What if she can’t control herself when she shifts? What if her temperament doesn’t change, and she’s still as vicious as she is now? Should we risk everyone’s life with someone that doesn’t actually want to hurt us?

 Malachi: -I locked eyes with my wife and instantly felt like an asshole. I knew I was being pushy, but I had a hard time turning down the intensity a lot of the time, even when I could sympathize with Tatiana. It would be easy to sit here and beat myself up about it. I was good at that, but it wouldn’t get anything done.

 I had to stop and take a breath, consider everything from someone else’s point of view. It wasn’t just about the what if’s. There was history there, and Tatiana knew it better than any of us, even Doc. I needed to listen to her.- Then I owe her an apology. I have to think that this is all going to work out, because I can’t think about the alternative, Angel. If it gives me tunnel vision, then I have to fight against it. Just keep reminding me.

 -The last thing I wanted was to get so single minded that I let it turn me into my father. He would have used anyone he could to get to the ends he sought after. And while his were always selfish, the fact that mine weren’t didn’t mean that the ends justified the means.

 I moved to be able to look Tatiana in the eye- Listen, I’m sorry. I don’t know what it’s like for you. I can only tell you what it’s like for me. I wouldn’t want to put any of the people here or back at the house in danger, and I wouldn’t want to put you in the position of being responsible for it. It is a valid point. I just can’t help but hope that things will be different. In the end, it’s your call. I promise you that. It’s my fault that you’re in this position to start with, and I couldn’t begin to apologize enough for all of that.

 -I wasn’t sure what else to say. I wasn’t wrong, and I felt like I needed Tatiana’s help, but in the end it was her decision to make, not mine or anyone else’s to make for her- If you want to stay, I’ll help you. I’ll make sure no one else is around when you shift until you’re sure that you’re safe. If you want to run, I’ll make sure you get where you’re going safely. Just tell me what you want to do, and I’ll stand behind that one hundred percent.

 Tati: *I could only nod my head as Beezer apologized. I wasn’t entirely sure what to make of his offer, though. Was this something I wanted to do? Did I truly want to see if I could take control of my wolf? It was a silent need, though. I hated that I needed to protect Doc every time I went to shift. There was still so much going through my head, though.

 There was something about Logan’s magic that I wasn’t sure I trusted. I didn’t like how he could make promises of me shifting. I didn’t trust how sure he was of everything. But maybe it was just Logan himself. The first time we had met, and he basically threatened my life without saying the words. He was great at manipulating those around him to get what he wanted. I knew it wasn’t that way with Leah, but he had tried to do it to me. And I wasn’t sure I was willing to be put under his thumb that way. I let my eyes go between Mal and Spencer’s before I took a breath. Letting my gaze fall on Spence, I shrugged my shoulders.* The only thing I have ever wanted was to be safe for you to be around. I hate leaving you when I shift. I hate that you’re in danger for any amount of time. If you think this is a risk I shouldn’t take, please say the word. I won’t do this if you don’t think this is a good idea.

 Spencer: -I’d been studying Tatiana for a long time, longer than we’d been together. It was how we’d met each other. I had found a few of the answers she was looking for, but I was far from figuring it all out. The truth of the matter was, she had to leave whenever Mars was in retrograde. There was no way I was going to be safe around her until she could control herself, and at the moment, control was far from what she was capable of. I had no way of knowing if any of this would work. My world was steeped in the paranormal, but it was also grounded in the scientific. I’d done the best I could at consolidating both of the realms into one, but there were times when I couldn’t explain or predict things at all. This was one of those times.

 I had two options here, and I was fairly certain Tati would listen to whichever I chose. I could be selfish either way, even when that wasn’t in my nature. I could take her away from all of this and go back to living the fairly quiet life we were leading, even if it meant walking away from the work I’d done here. For her, it was worth it.

 Or I could stay, and chance this with her, just for the ability to be with her all the time, not having to have one or the other of us hide when she  was out of control. Being in control would mean the world to her. It would mean she was in charge even when the wolf was out. It was something she never thought she was going to have. And in the end I thought that was worth a try, even if it didn’t work. -  

 I think it’s worth a shot, Tati. You’ll never know what you’re capable of unless you try, and this is the safest way I can think of attempting it. I’ve seen him shift. If it’s just the two of you, he’ll be safe, and be able to protect anyone else from you if you can’t keep control. Go far enough away and even that won’t be an issue until you’re ready for it to be. It can go slowly, as slowly as you want. I say you set the terms of all of this. Let it be completely in your hands, not anyone else’s call.

 Tati: *I nodded my head at Spencer’s words. He was right. This had to be on my own terms. I couldn’t do this for anyone else. It was something that I needed to do for me. There was no other way I could think of it. Turning my attention back to Beezer, I nodded my head.*

 Spencer is absolutely right. This has to be on my terms. We do this as far away from anyone at the treehouse as possible. And it has to be just you and me. Aurora cannot be here, Leah can’t be here. The only time Logan can be around is to do his thing with my shifting. He can’t be there for the training. I won’t think twice about going after him.

 *I could only bite my lip as I thought about the next part of the request. I wasn’t sure it was something that could be pulled off, but they’d have to figure it out. I couldn’t change my thoughts on Logan right now. Not with what he had said or made me feel. I didn’t trust him. I didn’t want to trust him. And me agreeing to this was more for Spencer and Beezer than it was for Logan and Leah.*

 There has to be another witch there when he does his thing. I don’t trust him to do something more. I don’t care if you don’t think he will, I don’t trust him. He has shown me that he is nothing more than a guy that will do anything in his power to get what he wants. I will let him do his thing, but he has to watched by someone else. That’s my offer. Take it or I leave with Spencer.

 Mal: -I listened, and heard the demand in her voice. She wasn’t wrong, though. She didn’t know Logan that well. None of us really did except for Leah. That meant I trusted him, just because she did, but it didn’t mean anything for Tati. The only encounter she’d ever had with him had been him telling her to basically shit or get off the pot. Asking for a second opinion was just common sense. And I knew just who needed to be around.

 I wouldn’t have wanted anyone to be around during the training, and most certainly not Rora. So everything she said was making sense at the moment. Things were falling into place, and if we were careful, they just might turn out the way we wanted- Then we do it your way, Tatiana. No one needs to be around but you and I. I wouldn’t want any of them nearby until we’re certain you can trust yourself. Hell, I’m still nervous about shifting around some of them. Not Rora, because my wolf would die before he let her or the baby be hurt, but other people, yeah. He can have a mind of his own, but he’s usually ok with people he likes.

 As for another witch… -glancing over at my wife with a soft smile- I think Rora and I know just the person. It shouldn’t be too hard to get her here either. Not if I know her. I wouldn’t be surprised if she knew what was up before we got to her as a matter of fact. So, if you’re game. So am I. All that’s left to do is get our asses back to the Treehouse and get this show back on the road.

 -I slid my hands in my pockets with a smile. Things had changed quite a bit since we pulled over at the side of the road. The woman who had been terrified to even be around me was now insistent that I be around to make sure everyone else was safe around her, to work with her to make sure she could control her wolf. I knew I was in for a lot of work with her, but if I could save her even a quarter of the heartache I’d been through with everything then it would be worth every moment of it. I could only hope I was up to the job.-

#PretendingIDontFeelMisplaced

[slowlyseekingsecrets-blog]

But I Have Not Left Your Side (SL With @AWolfStHeart, @DontWantToWin, @EverSoPatiently, @iWillNotFade)

Colette: *Things were moving along as I had hoped they would. But I was almost surprised that Leah hadn’t reached out to Amiee before I had gotten to her. Leah should have known that Logan’s magic wasn’t going to be enough to pull them through the fight with the St. Pierre pack. He didn’t have the right kind of magic. They needed the witch that had just discovered her powers. She needed someone to teach her. It was the entire reason I had come up from New Orleans. Even if I hadn’t been on my way up here, the visit that was paid to my shop ensured that I needed to get out of dodge. I had recognized Aurora’s brother the moment he had stepped into the store. And the witch he was with was not someone to be tangoed with. She didn’t have the same power as I did, but I was older. I wasn’t going to be as quick on my feet as she would have been. The St. Pierre Pack was not stupid. Not by a long shot. They had found out that both Aurora and Malachi had been in and out of my shop, and threw down the ultimatum. Either I handed the two wolves over, or I couldn’t come back to New Orleans. That was the end of it. The fates had already deemed my desire to go north, but the threat just solidified it. And it was a threat that Malachi was not going to take lightly. I hadn’t been surprised that he had fallen in love with his Angel. She was his saving grace. He needed her if he was going to be able to survive this fight. It was something that had been coming since he was born. It was something Malachi knew nothing about. It was a fact that Amos St Pierre wanted to deny. I knew that coming to the treehouse meant telling him that story. It wasn’t a story I was looking forward to telling. I had no desire to put the pressure on top of his shoulders. But it was going to need to be told sooner rather than later. I could feel the nerves rolling off of the girl next to me, though. We were close to pulling up to the treehouse. I wasn’t sure if it was because she didn’t know her role or if there was someone she wanted to protect from all of this. There was no way to be sure. Not until we were all settled into our roles. As we pulled up, I wasn’t surprised to see Leah and Logan standing out looking towards the horizon. If things had been going as I saw, Malachi and Aurora should be out talking to Tatiana and Spencer. Malachi would be getting a sister. And it would be Malachi that convinces her to fight with Leah and Logan. But their attention was pulled away from the horizon as Amiee stopped the car. I could see the confusion written on Leah’s face as her and Logan began to walk down to the car. It wasn’t going to be long before everyone was back at the house.* Leah: *I could hear the car start to pull down the driveway before I could see it. I recognized the girl behind the driver’s seat immediately, although it had been ages since she’d been up here at the same time I had been. I knew she’d stopped by to work on the wards around the Treehouse. Logan told me as much, but Amiee was a loner. I knew she was just a beginner, and I wasn’t sure how much she could do. There was a reason I hadn’t drug her into this yet. I knew she wasn’t ready, and I didn’t know how much Logan was going to be able to teach her yet. Amiee was a wild card. And the one huge thing I wasn’t ready for in this whole situation was a wild card. But here was my wildcard sitting with a stranger in a car in the driveway of the Treehouse. I shot Logan a look before we both started walking to meet them in the drive. The little old woman who got out of the passenger side was tiny, with brilliantly colored eyes. There was far more to her than met the eye. I could smell it on the breeze that blew past them both and ruffled my hair. Logan was right beside me as I froze and looked them both over* Amiee… It’s good to see you again. I wasn’t expecting anyone today. *I had no clue what to expect from either of them, but the looks on their faces told me that this visit meant business. Well at least the look on the stranger’s face did. Amiee looked just as confused as I felt.* Colette: *As I stepped out of the car, I wasn’t greeted. Amiee was. Which was a surprise. But I also knew that Leah and Logan had enough on their plate. But the truth was, they needed to understand that manners were just as important as being able to lead. Nothing was going to get accomplished if the two of them had their defenses so far up that they could only see each other. It was with a flick of my wrist that I had Logan on the ground and writhing in pain. Leah’s mouth dropped open for a fraction of a second before the growl started. My eyes narrowed into slits as I turned towards Leah.* You might want to rethink ignoring the woman that holds all the cards to this battle, Mrs. Pruit. Your defensive nature has already put questions in the head that you need most. *Letting Logan free of the pain, I started to move up the stairs of the treehouse. I didn’t like the idea of being here without Malachi and Aurora here, but the timing had been off by a few minutes. My voice was stern as I turned my head* Come on, Amiee. You have a lot to learn and a little amount of time to learn it. Amiee: *I could only give Leah a sad smile as we pulled up to the house. Worst of all was that I knew we weren’t expected. I could see the stress on Leah’s face though. And it was worse when Colette had Logan on the ground. I wanted to step in, but I couldn’t. Colette had made me promise to keep my mouth shut on the drive up. I was there to learn. Apparently this wasn’t a lesson I needed to speak for. But as Colette walked away, I turned my attention back to Leah and her husband. Shrugging my shoulders, I shook my head.* She came by the bookstore. Told me I was needed here, and that she needed to see Beezer. All I can tell you is that her name is Colette. And she’s going to teach me how to use my magic? I don’t know. She seems to think that between her and Logan the two of them can teach me. *I started spinning the piercing in my cheek with my tongue. I didn’t know what I was doing here, and it was obvious that Leah didn’t know what I was doing here, either. It seemed that the only person who knew anything was Colette.* She won’t tell me anything, Leah. She told me that she’ll talk to everyone as soon as Beezer and the Angel are home safe. That’s when she’ll stop worrying. Leah: *It was a hard fought battle to keep my mouth shut and keep the wolf inside my head in her cage. Usually she was calm and easy going, but seeing Logan doubled over on the ground in pain had been more than either of us were able to take without a rage. I still had no idea who she was, much less what she was doing here, but according to Amiee she was here for Beezer and Rora. Angel was a familiar nickname. It was what he always called his wife. I had no way of knowing if she was here for good or evil, even though she had been talking about being here to help with the battle that we knew was coming. As soon as she turned to go, I rushed to help Logan up from the ground to stand and took a few deep breaths to clear my head. I was either about to fuck this up by coming at the situation all wrong or just let go of control for a moment and see what happened. I knew I was going to need all the help I could get, and if nothing else, she was powerful. The only thing I could think to do was get Logan on his feet and follow the two of them up the stairs into the treehouse* It’s ok, Amiee. I have no idea what’s going on here, but I’m pretty sure Beezer and Rora can answer some questions when they get here. They shouldn’t be long. *It took a little longer than normal to get up into the house considering the party that was headed up there. We were lead by someone shorter than me, if that was even possible, and Logan was still catching his breath with an arm draped over my shoulder in case something else happened as we went up the stairs. Feeling helpless wasn’t something I was used to, but this entire situation had left me feeling helpless from the start. Helplessness made me want to lash out at everyone and everything. I’d lashed out at Tatianna and she’d run away. I wanted to lash out now at Colette, but that wasn’t going to solve anything. My best bet was to just press a kiss to my husband’s cheek and help him onto the couch before I turned back to the people in my living room* Well, I guess that wasn’t the best way to all meet each other. I’m Leah, but something tells me you already know that, ma’am. You’ll have to excuse me for earlier, but being defensive is a bit of an instinct. *I was still wary of the small woman, but I was going to try to at least make peace until Beezer and Rora could return* The rest of them should be back soon. I got a call from them that they were on the way here before you all arrived. Do you mind me asking what’s going on? Because I feel a little lost here. Beezer: -I wasn’t sure what I was walking in on when I came up the back steps and led my wife through the kitchen into the living room. It was full of people. Leah, Logan, Amiee who I recognized from around the place. She was one of the people who Leah picked up as a stray. She ran the bookstore and came around to do something around the place from time to time. And there was Collette… The sight of the woman who I’d last seen in a bookstore in the middle of the French Quarter in New Orleans on my wedding day had me freezing in place, glancing around the room while Rora slid into my side- Colette! -The two of us walked over to the small woman with a smile. The last memory I had of her was my wedding, and as scary as that day had been, it had also been one of the happiest days of my life. I couldn’t help but look around the startled expressions in the room as my wife rushed from my side to embrace the matronly figure that stood near the center of the room, and I wasn’t sure what I had walked into- So, maybe it’s time for introductions... unless you’ve all met. Colette is the person who sent Rora here to me, and who married us in New Orleans before we went to Wyoming. -I could feel the tension in the room melt a little once the story registered with at least Leah and Logan. Amiee was still confused. I could see it on her face, but she was starting to put the pieces together.- Rora: ^I was blindsided when Mal had said Colette. There was no way… But that’s when I saw her standing in the middle of the living room. Leah was furious for some reason, and Logan was off to the side. But it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except the woman standing in the middle of the room. I was over to her before Mal could even think about introducing everyone. My arms were around her as I clung for dear life. I hated leaving her in New Orleans with Derrick running around. I didn’t trust him to go after her.^ Colette. You didn’t need to come! You should have stayed put! We would have come down to you! Colette: *I could only smile as my dear sweet Aurora walked up and wrapped her arms around me. I knew that I was a mother figure to both her and Malachi. And it was a role I took very seriously. Especially with Malachi. Rubbing Aurora’s back, I pulled away from the hug before pressing my hands to her cheeks* I wanted to come, Sweetheart. I needed to come check up on the two of you. *Pressing a soft kiss to her cheek, I pulled away before looking at the man standing just behind her, but still guarding her.* You should know that your betrothed has joined forces with her brother. They came to the shop earlier and demanded to know information about you two. It was either hand you and your angel over or never go back to New Orleans. I’m not entire sure I want to go back, Malachi. Not when the prophecy hasn’t come true. Beezer: -When Colette used the word betrothed it set my teeth on edge. There was only one person that could refer to. Aurora and I had never been what you might call betrothed. We just were apart one day and together the next. It was natural, and nowhere near as formal as the word betrothed. The one time I’d been engaged before her had been a disaster. My father’s doing. Amos St. Pierre wanted nothing more than to ally himself with the witches of the city of New Orleans. The families there were old and powerful. He always figured that between the two sets of power there was nothing he wouldn’t be able to do. He almost succeeded in it with me. The Lemarquis family was one of the oldest and most respected witch families in the city. Their youngest daughter was considered a catch by everyone who was anyone in town. I’d never been much of anyone, despite the fact that I was the son of the Alpha of the most powerful wolf pack in the state, and the only one in the city. My older brothers were already married off, tied to daughters of neighboring Alphas to cement the ties and expand the pack’s boundaries as far as possible. There were no shortage of were families that were willing to tie themselves to the St. Pierre’s. I’d never considered my fate in that department. Walking around oblivious to the obvious seemed to be my speciality in those days. When my father showed up with news that I had a fiance, I wasn’t exactly pleasantly surprised, but I also knew it did absolutely no good to try to flout his will unless you were prepared to have yourself ripped limb from limb. One word came to my lips as I glanced over at Leah, the only other person in the room who would know what it meant- Delilah… -I saw her eyes grow wide when they met mine. She was the only other person who would remember what had happened to me when I finally left. How it had been Delilah who’d placed the curse on me that left me shaken and unable to drag my ass off Leah’s couch for days until I learned to drown it out or live with it. My father had hoped it would drive me back to them, begging for a respite, or to end it all at my own hand rather than live with voices reminding me of everything I’d never been able to do, the people I’d never been able to save. I didn’t know what had happened to her after I’d left. I didn’t want to keep track of any of them, but I supposed I was going to have to find out one way or another. I could tell by the look on everyone else’s face that they had no idea what any of this meant. My brows knitted together when I looked back to Rora- She’s the one who cursed me when I left my father’s pack. She’s powerful. I don’t know how much so really, but I do know my father will use her any way he can against us. Rora: ^I wanted to reject the idea that there was anyone before me. Realistically, I knew that was irresponsible. There was a million other girls in the world. And the fact that she was a witch didn’t surprise me. Not in the least. I wasn’t even surprised that she was the one who had cursed Mal. But that did not mean I had to just accept the fact that she was working with Derrick. I knew my brother better than almost anyone besides my father. I knew his motivations. And I knew his reactions. I was no surprised that he had gone to join up with Malachi’s father. But what did surprise me was the fact that he would have had to give up so much to be there. I wasn’t going to pretend to understand Amos St. Pierre. But I knew there was no way he was going to let another alpha into his pack. It made me question what was at play. And was Derrick just telling Amos everything he wanted to hear. I could only fall to the chair as I tried to sort out the information. I knew about Mal’s curse. But he had always claimed it was better when I was around. And since Colette had worked her magic, he hadn’t said a word about the curse at all. Turning my head towards my husband, I narrowed my eyes into a glare without hesitating.^ I refuse to accept the fact that you have a betrothed. Let’s just cut that shit from our vocabulary and our memory. Because no. Fuck that. ^Turning my attention to everyone else, I knew what we needed to do. I knew we needed to make a game plan. We had to figure out what the hell we were doing before we got too far.^ What do we do? We all know I’m useless in this fight. I don’t want to be, but it’s the reality of the situation. And even if I wasn’t pregnant, I doubt Mal would let me do anything. I know for a fact that he wouldn’t risk me. Leah:*It only took me a moment to put together what was going on, and it was the worst possible outcome of all of this. Delilah and I had history, and none of it was good. She and Mal had even more. She was the one who’d been the reason the St. Pierre pack was untouchable for so long. They were strong on their own and almost impossible to defeat with her. I could see the looks on both Beezer and Rora’s faces when they walked in the room to see Colette, the light of recognition and familiarity fading into one of minor panic and concern. I needed to figure out a way to make this right, to fix all of this. And I was a little lost about how I was going to make it better. The last time I’d tried to go up against Amos and Delilah, I almost didn’t make it out alive. Beezer was the reason I was standing here right now to be able to remember that. And now I had all these other people to protect. I knew they were willing to fight, but there were people who weren’t going to be able to do anything, Rora was most definitely not the least of those. Amiee was untrained. Spencer was a human. Tatiana was a wild card. There was far too much uncertainty here for my liking. Tatiana, Spencer and Amiee didn’t even live here in the Treehouse, and there was no way I could guarantee their safety outside of these walls. I wasn’t even sure I could guarantee it inside the walls at this rate, but it was better than nothing* So… This seems like a huge shit storm. *sliding my hands into my pockets as I looked around the room at the assembled members of my makeshift family* I don’t think any of us is ready to take this on alone. The best bet would be to keep everyone together until we know what’s going on. Which means, Tatiana…*I glanced over at Beezer, well aware that our last interaction had ended in her running far from here. I didn’t know how she was going to take the offer I was about to make, but I had to make it all the same.* I was hoping she and Spence would come join us here. I know she’s not my biggest fan. I can’t say that I blame her there. I just… think it would be safer for the two of them to not be alone out there in the woods. Malachi: -I was busy contemplating the implications of all this for us, especially for Aurora. The game was different now than it had been when we went to Wyoming. At least for me it was. She’d been aware she was pregnant, even if I hadn’t been. And having Delilah become a part of the equation here was more than I’d bargained for. Leah’s question took me a little off guard. I hadn’t been expecting it, though I had already seen the need for Spencer and Tatiana to be here with the rest of us.- Well, if you’re asking me to ask them, you’re a little damned late, Lee. I already did it in the car on the way over here. They’re back at their place mulling things over. I’m hoping they’ll be here with their stuff later on, but I’m not making any promises they’re coming. I just hope they at least use good sense. Leah: *Now that was as taken care of as we could manage, I turned to the young, blue haired girl that stood at Colette’s side* You too, Amiee. I don’t want you above the bookshop alone if someone comes looking. And if there’s anyone else you guys can think of we need to bring in here, I’m all ears. *I knew there were a few other shifters on the property that were close enough for us to keep an eye on. I didn’t know if any of the people here had any loved ones they needed to pull into the fold to keep them safe.* I mean, if Delilah or Amos hear that there is anyone they might use against you then they’re going to use them in any way possible to get to you all. Colette: *The two girls that were next to me still had no idea what to do about the impending battle. I understood it. My darling Aurora was pregnant with a baby girl. There was no way Malachi was going to let her fight. Even if they didn’t know Dinah was there. To them, it was still just a baby. But Amiee was the one that was only temporarily lost. Bringing her to the house hadn’t been about protecting her. It had been about introducing her to what she needed to be able to do her life’s work. Even if it was something she might reject down the line. But Leah was right. There was no doubt that everyone who needed to be protected needed to be here. I was here to help Aurora, but I knew Amiee’s mind was going to be elsewhere.* That sweet redheaded boy that used to stay in your apartment in New Orleans, Amiee. You need to bring him here. It will be good for both of you. Amiee: *I didn’t want to admit that Colette was right. As soon as Leah had said we needed to get people here, the only person I thought of was Josh. But I didn’t think Colette was right about the two of us needing each other. It wasn’t something we ever needed. I didn’t need him, and he surely didn’t need me. I wasn’t the kind of girl that needed people. But I couldn’t let him get pulled into this just because people wanted to hurt me. And by choosing to be here with Leah and Beezer, I was choosing a side. I felt the words tumble from my lips as everyone looked at me. I didn’t know how this was going to turn out, but by the sounds of it, things were about to get more complicated.* I have to go back to New Orleans and get Josh out of there. Leah: *I had no idea who the hell Josh was, but from the expression on Amiee’s face it was more important than I realized. But there was no way she was going to go into that city alone with the frying pan it had become for anyone associated with the Treehouse. My brain was scrambling for some other option than the one that first jumped into it. She couldn’t go alone, but we were limited about who could go with her. I couldn’t go. Beezer couldn’t set foot anywhere near the city, and it seemed Colette couldn’t either. There was no way in hell Beezer was going to allow Rora to go with his baby in her belly and even so she couldn’t set foot in the same city as her brother. We were down to three choices and I didn’t like one of them at all* She can’t go alone… But I don’t know who’s going to go with her. *glancing around at the people who surrounded me, hoping like hell they could come up with something other than what I was pretty sure was going to be inevitable* I mean… Half of us can’t go anywhere near New Orleans. I haven’t in years for damned good reason. They’d know the minute I set foot across any of the wards they have set up. I’m pretty sure none of the other shifters in the room can for pretty much the same reason. Colette clearly isn’t welcome in New Orleans now… and that leaves us with? Colette: *I could see the stress written on Leah’s face. She knew the answer she was going to get. But she was avoiding it. But in truth, it was the only answer there was. There was no way any of us were going to send the new witch into that city with a human. There were two options left, and one of them wasn’t what Leah wanted to hear. Moving across the room, I stood in front of the one that everyone looked to as a leader. I could see the weight of the world on her shoulders. But she had a man next to her that was ready to take that weight from her if she needed a break. He was going to do anything to make her life easier. It was why the two of them were a perfect match. My voice was soft as I took Leah’s hands in mine.* You know you can’t send the good Doctor with Amiee. If they run into trouble, they won’t be able to protect themselves. And Tatiana isn’t much of an option right now since she can’t shift on her own. *Releasing a gentle sigh, I pulled out the two talismen I had in my purse. If the timeline was right, Leah and Logan would have already done the binding ceremony. They’d already be connected. But this was just a little more protection. And something to ease Leah’s mind while Logan was gone.* It’ll take them a full day to get in and out. They’ll leave before sun up and be back just as the sun is setting on the horizon. Before they go, you place a strand of your hair over the heart of his doll, and he’ll do the same for yours. It’ll allow you two to communicate in case anything goes wrong. It won’t, but at least you can have some peace of mind while he’s gone. Leah: *I could feel the bit of resolve I had left melt when Colette walked over to me. I knew she was right, and I’d known what she was going to say before she opened her mouth. She just confirmed it for me. I let out a long sigh, but it was one of resignation rather than frustration* I don’t want him to go… *glancing back at my husband with as much of a smile as I could muster* But I know he has to. *my fingers had a mind of their own as they traced over the thin line in my palm where the cut that had joined the two of us had healed until it was almost invisible. No one would have known it was there if they hadn’t known what they were looking for* You’ll have to show me how it works, ma’am. *daring to look up into Colette’s eyes for the moment before I turned back to Logan and slid my hand in his* Please fucking take care of yourself. You know we literally cannot live without each other. *I gave his hand a squeeze and pulled myself in closer to his chest, taking in a deep breath of him* So tomorrow then? First thing in the morning, Logan and Amiee head into the city and go get this Josh. Then we can figure out what the hell we’re doing from there. *moving my eyes from my husband’s to glance around at the rest of the room.* I can only hope like fuck this works. #ButIHaveNotLeftYourSide

[eversopatiently-blog]

But I Have Not Left Your Side (SL With @iWillNotFade, @Seeking_Secrets, @AWolfAtHeart, and @DontWantToWin)

Colette: *Things were moving along as I had hoped they would. But I was almost surprised that Leah hadn’t reached out to Amiee before I had gotten to her. Leah should have known that Logan’s magic wasn’t going to be enough to pull them through the fight with the St. Pierre pack. He didn’t have the right kind of magic. They needed the witch that had just discovered her powers. She needed someone to teach her. It was the entire reason I had come up from New Orleans. Even if I hadn’t been on my way up here, the visit that was paid to my shop ensured that I needed to get out of dodge. I had recognized Aurora’s brother the moment he had stepped into the store. And the witch he was with was not someone to be tangoed with. She didn’t have the same power as I did, but I was older. I wasn’t going to be as quick on my feet as she would have been. The St. Pierre Pack was not stupid. Not by a long shot. They had found out that both Aurora and Malachi had been in and out of my shop, and threw down the ultimatum. Either I handed the two wolves over, or I couldn’t come back to New Orleans. That was the end of it. The fates had already deemed my desire to go north, but the threat just solidified it. And it was a threat that Malachi was not going to take lightly. I hadn’t been surprised that he had fallen in love with his Angel. She was his saving grace. He needed her if he was going to be able to survive this fight. It was something that had been coming since he was born. It was something Malachi knew nothing about. It was a fact that Amos St Pierre wanted to deny. I knew that coming to the treehouse meant telling him that story. It wasn’t a story I was looking forward to telling. I had no desire to put the pressure on top of his shoulders. But it was going to need to be told sooner rather than later. I could feel the nerves rolling off of the girl next to me, though. We were close to pulling up to the treehouse. I wasn’t sure if it was because she didn’t know her role or if there was someone she wanted to protect from all of this. There was no way to be sure. Not until we were all settled into our roles. As we pulled up, I wasn’t surprised to see Leah and Logan standing out looking towards the horizon. If things had been going as I saw, Malachi and Aurora should be out talking to Tatiana and Spencer. Malachi would be getting a sister. And it would be Malachi that convinces her to fight with Leah and Logan. But their attention was pulled away from the horizon as Amiee stopped the car. I could see the confusion written on Leah’s face as her and Logan began to walk down to the car. It wasn’t going to be long before everyone was back at the house.* Leah: *I could hear the car start to pull down the driveway before I could see it. I recognized the girl behind the driver’s seat immediately, although it had been ages since she’d been up here at the same time I had been. I knew she’d stopped by to work on the wards around the Treehouse. Logan told me as much, but Amiee was a loner. I knew she was just a beginner, and I wasn’t sure how much she could do. There was a reason I hadn’t drug her into this yet. I knew she wasn’t ready, and I didn’t know how much Logan was going to be able to teach her yet. Amiee was a wild card. And the one huge thing I wasn’t ready for in this whole situation was a wild card. But here was my wildcard sitting with a stranger in a car in the driveway of the Treehouse. I shot Logan a look before we both started walking to meet them in the drive. The little old woman who got out of the passenger side was tiny, with brilliantly colored eyes. There was far more to her than met the eye. I could smell it on the breeze that blew past them both and ruffled my hair. Logan was right beside me as I froze and looked them both over* Amiee… It’s good to see you again. I wasn’t expecting anyone today. *I had no clue what to expect from either of them, but the looks on their faces told me that this visit meant business. Well at least the look on the stranger’s face did. Amiee looked just as confused as I felt.* Colette: *As I stepped out of the car, I wasn’t greeted. Amiee was. Which was a surprise. But I also knew that Leah and Logan had enough on their plate. But the truth was, they needed to understand that manners were just as important as being able to lead. Nothing was going to get accomplished if the two of them had their defenses so far up that they could only see each other. It was with a flick of my wrist that I had Logan on the ground and writhing in pain. Leah’s mouth dropped open for a fraction of a second before the growl started. My eyes narrowed into slits as I turned towards Leah.* You might want to rethink ignoring the woman that holds all the cards to this battle, Mrs. Pruit. Your defensive nature has already put questions in the head that you need most. *Letting Logan free of the pain, I started to move up the stairs of the treehouse. I didn’t like the idea of being here without Malachi and Aurora here, but the timing had been off by a few minutes. My voice was stern as I turned my head* Come on, Amiee. You have a lot to learn and a little amount of time to learn it. Amiee: *I could only give Leah a sad smile as we pulled up to the house. Worst of all was that I knew we weren’t expected. I could see the stress on Leah’s face though. And it was worse when Colette had Logan on the ground. I wanted to step in, but I couldn’t. Colette had made me promise to keep my mouth shut on the drive up. I was there to learn. Apparently this wasn’t a lesson I needed to speak for. But as Colette walked away, I turned my attention back to Leah and her husband. Shrugging my shoulders, I shook my head.* She came by the bookstore. Told me I was needed here, and that she needed to see Beezer. All I can tell you is that her name is Colette. And she’s going to teach me how to use my magic? I don’t know. She seems to think that between her and Logan the two of them can teach me. *I started spinning the piercing in my cheek with my tongue. I didn’t know what I was doing here, and it was obvious that Leah didn’t know what I was doing here, either. It seemed that the only person who knew anything was Colette.* She won’t tell me anything, Leah. She told me that she’ll talk to everyone as soon as Beezer and the Angel are home safe. That’s when she’ll stop worrying. Leah: *It was a hard fought battle to keep my mouth shut and keep the wolf inside my head in her cage. Usually she was calm and easy going, but seeing Logan doubled over on the ground in pain had been more than either of us were able to take without a rage. I still had no idea who she was, much less what she was doing here, but according to Amiee she was here for Beezer and Rora. Angel was a familiar nickname. It was what he always called his wife. I had no way of knowing if she was here for good or evil, even though she had been talking about being here to help with the battle that we knew was coming. As soon as she turned to go, I rushed to help Logan up from the ground to stand and took a few deep breaths to clear my head. I was either about to fuck this up by coming at the situation all wrong or just let go of control for a moment and see what happened. I knew I was going to need all the help I could get, and if nothing else, she was powerful. The only thing I could think to do was get Logan on his feet and follow the two of them up the stairs into the treehouse* It’s ok, Amiee. I have no idea what’s going on here, but I’m pretty sure Beezer and Rora can answer some questions when they get here. They shouldn’t be long. *It took a little longer than normal to get up into the house considering the party that was headed up there. We were lead by someone shorter than me, if that was even possible, and Logan was still catching his breath with an arm draped over my shoulder in case something else happened as we went up the stairs. Feeling helpless wasn’t something I was used to, but this entire situation had left me feeling helpless from the start. Helplessness made me want to lash out at everyone and everything. I’d lashed out at Tatianna and she’d run away. I wanted to lash out now at Colette, but that wasn’t going to solve anything. My best bet was to just press a kiss to my husband’s cheek and help him onto the couch before I turned back to the people in my living room* Well, I guess that wasn’t the best way to all meet each other. I’m Leah, but something tells me you already know that, ma’am. You’ll have to excuse me for earlier, but being defensive is a bit of an instinct. *I was still wary of the small woman, but I was going to try to at least make peace until Beezer and Rora could return* The rest of them should be back soon. I got a call from them that they were on the way here before you all arrived. Do you mind me asking what’s going on? Because I feel a little lost here. Beezer: -I wasn’t sure what I was walking in on when I came up the back steps and led my wife through the kitchen into the living room. It was full of people. Leah, Logan, Amiee who I recognized from around the place. She was one of the people who Leah picked up as a stray. She ran the bookstore and came around to do something around the place from time to time. And there was Collette… The sight of the woman who I’d last seen in a bookstore in the middle of the French Quarter in New Orleans on my wedding day had me freezing in place, glancing around the room while Rora slid into my side- Colette! -The two of us walked over to the small woman with a smile. The last memory I had of her was my wedding, and as scary as that day had been, it had also been one of the happiest days of my life. I couldn’t help but look around the startled expressions in the room as my wife rushed from my side to embrace the matronly figure that stood near the center of the room, and I wasn’t sure what I had walked into- So, maybe it’s time for introductions... unless you’ve all met. Colette is the person who sent Rora here to me, and who married us in New Orleans before we went to Wyoming. -I could feel the tension in the room melt a little once the story registered with at least Leah and Logan. Amiee was still confused. I could see it on her face, but she was starting to put the pieces together.- Rora: ^I was blindsided when Mal had said Colette. There was no way… But that’s when I saw her standing in the middle of the living room. Leah was furious for some reason, and Logan was off to the side. But it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except the woman standing in the middle of the room. I was over to her before Mal could even think about introducing everyone. My arms were around her as I clung for dear life. I hated leaving her in New Orleans with Derrick running around. I didn’t trust him to go after her.^ Colette. You didn’t need to come! You should have stayed put! We would have come down to you! Colette: *I could only smile as my dear sweet Aurora walked up and wrapped her arms around me. I knew that I was a mother figure to both her and Malachi. And it was a role I took very seriously. Especially with Malachi. Rubbing Aurora’s back, I pulled away from the hug before pressing my hands to her cheeks* I wanted to come, Sweetheart. I needed to come check up on the two of you. *Pressing a soft kiss to her cheek, I pulled away before looking at the man standing just behind her, but still guarding her.* You should know that your betrothed has joined forces with her brother. They came to the shop earlier and demanded to know information about you two. It was either hand you and your angel over or never go back to New Orleans. I’m not entire sure I want to go back, Malachi. Not when the prophecy hasn’t come true. Beezer: -When Colette used the word betrothed it set my teeth on edge. There was only one person that could refer to. Aurora and I had never been what you might call betrothed. We just were apart one day and together the next. It was natural, and nowhere near as formal as the word betrothed. The one time I’d been engaged before her had been a disaster. My father’s doing. Amos St. Pierre wanted nothing more than to ally himself with the witches of the city of New Orleans. The families there were old and powerful. He always figured that between the two sets of power there was nothing he wouldn’t be able to do. He almost succeeded in it with me. The Lemarquis family was one of the oldest and most respected witch families in the city. Their youngest daughter was considered a catch by everyone who was anyone in town. I’d never been much of anyone, despite the fact that I was the son of the Alpha of the most powerful wolf pack in the state, and the only one in the city. My older brothers were already married off, tied to daughters of neighboring Alphas to cement the ties and expand the pack’s boundaries as far as possible. There were no shortage of were families that were willing to tie themselves to the St. Pierre’s. I’d never considered my fate in that department. Walking around oblivious to the obvious seemed to be my speciality in those days. When my father showed up with news that I had a fiance, I wasn’t exactly pleasantly surprised, but I also knew it did absolutely no good to try to flout his will unless you were prepared to have yourself ripped limb from limb. One word came to my lips as I glanced over at Leah, the only other person in the room who would know what it meant- Delilah… -I saw her eyes grow wide when they met mine. She was the only other person who would remember what had happened to me when I finally left. How it had been Delilah who’d placed the curse on me that left me shaken and unable to drag my ass off Leah’s couch for days until I learned to drown it out or live with it. My father had hoped it would drive me back to them, begging for a respite, or to end it all at my own hand rather than live with voices reminding me of everything I’d never been able to do, the people I’d never been able to save. I didn’t know what had happened to her after I’d left. I didn’t want to keep track of any of them, but I supposed I was going to have to find out one way or another. I could tell by the look on everyone else’s face that they had no idea what any of this meant. My brows knitted together when I looked back to Rora- She’s the one who cursed me when I left my father’s pack. She’s powerful. I don’t know how much so really, but I do know my father will use her any way he can against us. Rora: ^I wanted to reject the idea that there was anyone before me. Realistically, I knew that was irresponsible. There was a million other girls in the world. And the fact that she was a witch didn’t surprise me. Not in the least. I wasn’t even surprised that she was the one who had cursed Mal. But that did not mean I had to just accept the fact that she was working with Derrick. I knew my brother better than almost anyone besides my father. I knew his motivations. And I knew his reactions. I was no surprised that he had gone to join up with Malachi’s father. But what did surprise me was the fact that he would have had to give up so much to be there. I wasn’t going to pretend to understand Amos St. Pierre. But I knew there was no way he was going to let another alpha into his pack. It made me question what was at play. And was Derrick just telling Amos everything he wanted to hear. I could only fall to the chair as I tried to sort out the information. I knew about Mal’s curse. But he had always claimed it was better when I was around. And since Colette had worked her magic, he hadn’t said a word about the curse at all. Turning my head towards my husband, I narrowed my eyes into a glare without hesitating.^ I refuse to accept the fact that you have a betrothed. Let’s just cut that shit from our vocabulary and our memory. Because no. Fuck that. ^Turning my attention to everyone else, I knew what we needed to do. I knew we needed to make a game plan. We had to figure out what the hell we were doing before we got too far.^ What do we do? We all know I’m useless in this fight. I don’t want to be, but it’s the reality of the situation. And even if I wasn’t pregnant, I doubt Mal would let me do anything. I know for a fact that he wouldn’t risk me. Leah:*It only took me a moment to put together what was going on, and it was the worst possible outcome of all of this. Delilah and I had history, and none of it was good. She and Mal had even more. She was the one who’d been the reason the St. Pierre pack was untouchable for so long. They were strong on their own and almost impossible to defeat with her. I could see the looks on both Beezer and Rora’s faces when they walked in the room to see Colette, the light of recognition and familiarity fading into one of minor panic and concern. I needed to figure out a way to make this right, to fix all of this. And I was a little lost about how I was going to make it better. The last time I’d tried to go up against Amos and Delilah, I almost didn’t make it out alive. Beezer was the reason I was standing here right now to be able to remember that. And now I had all these other people to protect. I knew they were willing to fight, but there were people who weren’t going to be able to do anything, Rora was most definitely not the least of those. Amiee was untrained. Spencer was a human. Tatiana was a wild card. There was far too much uncertainty here for my liking. Tatiana, Spencer and Amiee didn’t even live here in the Treehouse, and there was no way I could guarantee their safety outside of these walls. I wasn’t even sure I could guarantee it inside the walls at this rate, but it was better than nothing* So… This seems like a huge shit storm. *sliding my hands into my pockets as I looked around the room at the assembled members of my makeshift family* I don’t think any of us is ready to take this on alone. The best bet would be to keep everyone together until we know what’s going on. Which means, Tatiana…*I glanced over at Beezer, well aware that our last interaction had ended in her running far from here. I didn’t know how she was going to take the offer I was about to make, but I had to make it all the same.* I was hoping she and Spence would come join us here. I know she’s not my biggest fan. I can’t say that I blame her there. I just… think it would be safer for the two of them to not be alone out there in the woods. Malachi: -I was busy contemplating the implications of all this for us, especially for Aurora. The game was different now than it had been when we went to Wyoming. At least for me it was. She’d been aware she was pregnant, even if I hadn’t been. And having Delilah become a part of the equation here was more than I’d bargained for. Leah’s question took me a little off guard. I hadn’t been expecting it, though I had already seen the need for Spencer and Tatiana to be here with the rest of us.- Well, if you’re asking me to ask them, you’re a little damned late, Lee. I already did it in the car on the way over here. They’re back at their place mulling things over. I’m hoping they’ll be here with their stuff later on, but I’m not making any promises they’re coming. I just hope they at least use good sense. Leah: *Now that was as taken care of as we could manage, I turned to the young, blue haired girl that stood at Colette’s side* You too, Amiee. I don’t want you above the bookshop alone if someone comes looking. And if there’s anyone else you guys can think of we need to bring in here, I’m all ears. *I knew there were a few other shifters on the property that were close enough for us to keep an eye on. I didn’t know if any of the people here had any loved ones they needed to pull into the fold to keep them safe.* I mean, if Delilah or Amos hear that there is anyone they might use against you then they’re going to use them in any way possible to get to you all. Colette: *The two girls that were next to me still had no idea what to do about the impending battle. I understood it. My darling Aurora was pregnant with a baby girl. There was no way Malachi was going to let her fight. Even if they didn’t know Dinah was there. To them, it was still just a baby. But Amiee was the one that was only temporarily lost. Bringing her to the house hadn’t been about protecting her. It had been about introducing her to what she needed to be able to do her life’s work. Even if it was something she might reject down the line. But Leah was right. There was no doubt that everyone who needed to be protected needed to be here. I was here to help Aurora, but I knew Amiee’s mind was going to be elsewhere.* That sweet redheaded boy that used to stay in your apartment in New Orleans, Amiee. You need to bring him here. It will be good for both of you. Amiee: *I didn’t want to admit that Colette was right. As soon as Leah had said we needed to get people here, the only person I thought of was Josh. But I didn’t think Colette was right about the two of us needing each other. It wasn’t something we ever needed. I didn’t need him, and he surely didn’t need me. I wasn’t the kind of girl that needed people. But I couldn’t let him get pulled into this just because people wanted to hurt me. And by choosing to be here with Leah and Beezer, I was choosing a side. I felt the words tumble from my lips as everyone looked at me. I didn’t know how this was going to turn out, but by the sounds of it, things were about to get more complicated.* I have to go back to New Orleans and get Josh out of there. Leah: *I had no idea who the hell Josh was, but from the expression on Amiee’s face it was more important than I realized. But there was no way she was going to go into that city alone with the frying pan it had become for anyone associated with the Treehouse. My brain was scrambling for some other option than the one that first jumped into it. She couldn’t go alone, but we were limited about who could go with her. I couldn’t go. Beezer couldn’t set foot anywhere near the city, and it seemed Colette couldn’t either. There was no way in hell Beezer was going to allow Rora to go with his baby in her belly and even so she couldn’t set foot in the same city as her brother. We were down to three choices and I didn’t like one of them at all* She can’t go alone… But I don’t know who’s going to go with her. *glancing around at the people who surrounded me, hoping like hell they could come up with something other than what I was pretty sure was going to be inevitable* I mean… Half of us can’t go anywhere near New Orleans. I haven’t in years for damned good reason. They’d know the minute I set foot across any of the wards they have set up. I’m pretty sure none of the other shifters in the room can for pretty much the same reason. Colette clearly isn’t welcome in New Orleans now… and that leaves us with? Colette: *I could see the stress written on Leah’s face. She knew the answer she was going to get. But she was avoiding it. But in truth, it was the only answer there was. There was no way any of us were going to send the new witch into that city with a human. There were two options left, and one of them wasn’t what Leah wanted to hear. Moving across the room, I stood in front of the one that everyone looked to as a leader. I could see the weight of the world on her shoulders. But she had a man next to her that was ready to take that weight from her if she needed a break. He was going to do anything to make her life easier. It was why the two of them were a perfect match. My voice was soft as I took Leah’s hands in mine.* You know you can’t send the good Doctor with Amiee. If they run into trouble, they won’t be able to protect themselves. And Tatiana isn’t much of an option right now since she can’t shift on her own. *Releasing a gentle sigh, I pulled out the two talismen I had in my purse. If the timeline was right, Leah and Logan would have already done the binding ceremony. They’d already be connected. But this was just a little more protection. And something to ease Leah’s mind while Logan was gone.* It’ll take them a full day to get in and out. They’ll leave before sun up and be back just as the sun is setting on the horizon. Before they go, you place a strand of your hair over the heart of his doll, and he’ll do the same for yours. It’ll allow you two to communicate in case anything goes wrong. It won’t, but at least you can have some peace of mind while he’s gone. Leah: *I could feel the bit of resolve I had left melt when Colette walked over to me. I knew she was right, and I’d known what she was going to say before she opened her mouth. She just confirmed it for me. I let out a long sigh, but it was one of resignation rather than frustration* I don’t want him to go… *glancing back at my husband with as much of a smile as I could muster* But I know he has to. *my fingers had a mind of their own as they traced over the thin line in my palm where the cut that had joined the two of us had healed until it was almost invisible. No one would have known it was there if they hadn’t known what they were looking for* You’ll have to show me how it works, ma’am. *daring to look up into Colette’s eyes for the moment before I turned back to Logan and slid my hand in his* Please fucking take care of yourself. You know we literally cannot live without each other. *I gave his hand a squeeze and pulled myself in closer to his chest, taking in a deep breath of him* So tomorrow then? First thing in the morning, Logan and Amiee head into the city and go get this Josh. Then we can figure out what the hell we’re doing from there. *moving my eyes from my husband’s to glance around at the rest of the room.* I can only hope like fuck this works. #ButIHaveNotLeftYourSide

[incolddecember-blog]

Pretending I Don't Feel Misplaced (SL with @EverSoPatiently, @DoNoHarm_, and @IWillNotFade)

Tati: *Doc had called a million times asking me to stop. Telling me that he was coming to find me. I just couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to hide from him, but I couldn’t face Leah or Logan after I had walked away from everyone. I knew they blamed me. They hated me for leaving. For not being willing to help. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t bring myself to face Malachi. He was just too much. I wasn’t willing to let myself be a pawn like he was. They claimed they weren’t going to use me as a weapon. Logan claimed he could play with my shifting. It wasn’t the shifting I was concerned about. It had never been the shifting. It was my temperament as a wolf that terrified me. I knew I was vicious. The only person I could be around when I shifted was Doc. But even that was a touchy subject. I didn’t trust myself around Spencer. I wanted to. I wanted to let him be beside me every step of the way. But this wasn’t easy for me. It hadn’t ever been easy. I felt myself shiver as I settled on a down tree branch. No matter what, I kept moving. I knew it was a matter of time until Spencer found a way to find me. But I wasn’t sure what was going to happen. I wasn’t sure how he was going to find me. I didn’t know if Leah and Logan were going to be with him, or if he was going to be alone. To be honest, I wasn’t entirely sure I trusted Leah and Logan. I didn’t know if the two of them had what was best for me in mind when they tried to get me to be a part of their pack. In fact, I knew they didn’t. They were thinking about what was the best move for the pack. What was the best move to take down the St. Pierre pack. I didn’t hold that against them. But I stood by the fact that they didn’t know what they were asking of me. It was a scenario I had let go through my mind a million times. What if I did let Logan manipulate my genes? He claimed that he could give me the power to shift at will. But was I crazy to not trust the magic he was offering? I didn’t trust anyone. It was something that was always in the back of my mind. I was going to be used as a weapon. It was what the other wolves in my father’s pack had wanted. But my father knew it wasn’t fair to me. So he let me go. And issued the warning that if anyone came for me, they were dead. Even if I wasn’t a part of that pack, I was still his daughter. I always would be. I could have run back there. Arkansas was only a few miles away. I knew I was sitting close to the border. But I also knew that if I did go there, Spencer was going to find me. But I knew I needed to stop. I needed Spencer in a way I hadn’t ever needed, or wanted, anyone before. I wanted to trust him. I wanted to give him every part of me. But I wasn’t entirely sure how to do it. I didn’t know how to open myself up to him. Pulling out my phone, I sent him one message. I didn’t know if it would bring him to me, or drive him away, but I needed something. I needed him to know that I loved him. It was the only way he knew I was giving him something. I wasn’t sure if he was going to accept it, but I needed him to know that I was trying.* There’s a wooded area off of route 167 just before you cross the border into Arkansas. Spencer: -I didn’t even have to pick my phone up to know it was Tati texting me. I’d set her tones to something different than everyone else a million years ago. The sound alone told me everything I needed to know. I’d been trying to call her since she ran out that door, but I knew better than to think she was going to answer me. The fact that she was texting me now was more of a surprise than I cared to admit out loud. This wasn’t the first time that Tati had run away. She had a habit of avoiding everyone, even me, when things became too much for her to handle, when the time came for her to shift or when she just couldn’t take any more of the world. I’d learned not to take it personally a long time ago, but sometimes it was hard. This time was one of those times. The thing was, this time, I was already out looking for her. I hadn’t known where to begin, but Beezer had. He’d scented her at least this far, and judging from her text, we didn’t have much farther to go. I had no clue how she was going to react once we got there a whole hell of a lot faster than we probably should have. All I could do was take a deep breath and let the two weres who’d come with me this far know what the message had said.- So, she just messaged me. -glancing over at Beezer and Aurora with a soft exhale before I continued- She’s not far. A grassy area off route 167. Do you know it? Because I do if you don’t. -I’d passed it before, without knowing it was the place she would run to. Maybe it was where she always went, maybe it was somewhere else, a random place she’d just picked out of the blue. I had no way of knowing. I could only hope that she wouldn’t freak out when I didn’t show up alone and run again, this time to somewhere we wouldn’t be able to find. I grabbed my phone and tapped out a reply- I’ll be there soon. -sending it before I slid my phone back into my pocket, mind churning to try to figure out what to do when we got there. I didn’t know if I should go out and speak to her on my own before I let her know the other two were there or what. I knew she would probably know they were coming before she saw them, that she would smell them on the wind before she scented me if the wind was right. I had no clue what I was doing here. I just needed to find her.- Rora: ^As soon as Doc said she was in the area just off of 167, I knew where she was. It was a place I had visited one time, but I felt myself take in a breath of air. I didn’t like thinking of that time. I couldn’t ignore the look from Mal, though. And I knew I was going to have to explain to him why I knew it. But I also knew that we didn’t need to go barging in like we owned the place. As we pulled off the road, I let my hand rest on Mal’s arm.^ We can’t go to her just yet. Doc needs to talk to her alone. He’ll help in getting her to listen to us. ^I knew Mal didn’t like sending Spencer to talk to her alone. He didn’t know what was in these woods. But I knew what was here. It was relatively safe. Derrick was back in New Orleans with Mal’s family. I couldn’t even begin to understand what was going on there. I could imagine it, though. They were doing everything to prepare for battle. I knew Derrick. I knew what a battle meant to him. And if the stories Mal had told me were anything to go by, I knew that he would fit in with the St. Pierre’s.^ She doesn’t know you like I do. She knows the horror stories of your father’s pack, though. She knows you were used as a weapon, Mal. She has never seen you when we’re together. She doesn’t know that you can be the sweetest guy in the world. She doesn’t understand that. ^Taking a breath, I brought my leg up and folded it under me. As I turned to face Mal, I was struck by his beauty. I wasn’t sure if he was ever going to acknowledge it, but he was handsome. I had learned to stop telling him, though. All he saw were the scars and injuries. I saw them for what they were, marks of a survivor.^ When you’re alone, you’re a lot to take in. And that’s when you’re not a wolf. You know that as a wolf you’re big and imposing. You could give her a run for her money if you wanted to control her. ^Putting a hand up as Mal went to rebuke me, I gave him a look.^ I know you would never do it. I know that you hate what your father made you into. I know that’s why you and Leah are still together after all this time. But Tatiana doesn’t understand that. Logan and Leah might not understand, but she kept herself away from us for a reason. Not only does she not have control as a wolf, she’s in the same space as you. And everything she knows about you makes her scared. So she kept herself at arms length to protect everyone, even herself. You can’t give her another reason to be afraid of you, Malachi. She needs to see what I see. She needs to understand that you’re not the wolf your father or brothers are. She needs to know that you don’t want to use her as a weapon. Mal: -I made myself listen as my wife talked, despite my gut instinct being to disagree with her. I knew she was right. It wasn't what she was trying to tell me that I thought was wrong. It was just that I knew Tatiana’s gut reaction to me was the one I'd been fighting all my life not to be. My father had wanted me to be this fighting machine, a tool that he could wield as he and then my older brother saw fit. I wouldn't have used the power I had to control another, not when it was exactly what had been done to me. But I also knew Tatiana had no way of knowing that. She didn't know me, not at all, and I'd only ever caught glimpses of her in passing during the few times she'd been at the treehouse. I knew I could be intimidating. I was almost as big as my brother, and I was faster. It gave me the advantage in a fight and it was pretty evident to anyone who knew anything about a fight at first glance. I wasn't a fool. Never mind the scars I'd been left with after years of fighting both on behalf of my family and on my own just for survival after I left. I was strong, but I wasn't invincible. I'd been brought along to help find her. Doc was the one she was tied to, and as nervous as letting him go in to find her alone made me, I knew it was a necessary evil. I was still going to be on edge as all this happened though. There was no getting around any of that. If she saw me coming, her first instinct was going to be to run. He was going to have to soften her up for me to be able to get even close enough to her to get a word in. And there were a few words I needed to get in. There wasn't anyone here who understood that fear of being used for what you were quite like I did. There was more than a bit of terror in not being in control of yourself during a shift. The ability to recall what had happened when I shifted came and went with the moods of my wolf. If he had business he didn't want me to know about, I wasn't going to remember a moment of it. If he allowed, I would have perfect recognition. I supposed it was his way of protecting me from knowing about how he took care of business. And I supposed it was a mercy, but I was never in control. Reaching out to run a hand along Rora’s arm until my fingers found hers and I gave her hand a squeeze, keeping it there even after I could have pulled away- Then Doc goes in first, but I want to talk to her. I need her to know what's real. At least I need to try to tell her. I don't know how much good it will do. Spencer: -Beezer and Aurora were talking along the edge of the road, but I paid them little attention. I didn’t know what was passing between the two of them at the moment, perhaps it wasn’t my place to know. I did know them both well enough to know that they were going to try to help as much as they could. I’d tried before to explain a little to Tati about him, but she couldn’t get past the last name. I’d heard of the St. Pierre’s. I’d been in Louisiana for awhile now, and there was no way to be a part of the shifter world here without hearing about them. I had to admit that it gave me pause at first. His name, combined with his size, was enough to frighten anyone. I couldn’t blame her for that. But I’d gotten to know him since his arrival, at least on a few occasions. He didn’t remember what happened when he shifted, and he had a tendency to come back from those sessions with a wound or two. I’d forced him to come see me about the worst of them, the ones he couldn’t take care of himself. They healed fast, but they could still get infected, and they had a rough time coming back from something during the full moon when all their energy was focused on the animal within. He was a lot like her. He had a hard time controlling his shifting from time to time, but mostly he had a hard time controlling the wolf that came out. It was merciful enough to block him from remembering what it got up to when it was more than the man could handle. In truth, he was a giant, but he was fairly soft spoken and gentle. The man and the wolf were two different, albeit connected things. The scientist in me found him fascinating. He was bred to be a weapon, and he’d overcome all of that breeding and training to be what he had become. But I also understood why Tatiana was frightened. If I’d grown up with stories of what the family could get up to, I would be just as terrified. I had the advantage of coming at everything here from an outsider’s perspective. I left the two of them behind. I needed to go in first to try to explain to Tati what was going on, why the two of them were here and just pray she didn’t run again. The clearing wasn’t far from the highway, though it was concealed by a stand of trees I needed to make my way around to come out into the open. I had no idea what to expect when i walked into the clearing. She’d all but asked me to come with that text message, so I could only assume she wanted me to find her. My eyes darted around the clearing, looking for any sign of her as I called out her name- Tati? -The uncertainly in my voice was clear. She was here somewhere. I knew that much at least.- Tati: *I heard Spencer calling out, and I had been right. It hadn’t taken that long for him to come looking for me. It also helped that he knew where I was running to. I just knew that there was a risk with walking over the border into Arkansas. I knew that there was a chance I was going to be looked for. And I wasn’t about to go there. I wasn’t ready to give myself up to any one pack. I didn’t trust any person enough to be with a pack. In truth, Spencer was my pack. He was the only one I cared about. Stepping out into the clearing, I took a breath. My senses were heightened, so I could smell that he wasn’t alone. Or rather that he hadn’t been alone. But I knew he needed help in finding me.* I can’t do it, Spencer. I can’t let them do that to me. Am I insane for not being sure about Logan’s magic? Am I stupid for not being willing to see if it works? *My nerves were shot. There was no way to explain it. But I needed him to see my side of everything, and that had never been an issue with Spencer. He understood me in a way no one else understood. We had spent so much time talking about everything. He knew my fears and my reactions better than I did.* I understand that this is their family, and they want to do everything in their power to protect it, but am I crazy for wanting to protect myself? Spencer: -I could hear the fear in her voice. She was scared, but there was more behind it than that. She wasn’t just scared of Beezer. It was what he represented that terrified Tati. To her, he was everything she was afraid of being. I raked a hand through my hair listening to her as I slowly approached the edge of the clearing she’d appeared from. I needed to be closer to her, needed her to be able to look into my eyes so she could see that I meant what I was saying.- Tati, there’s nothing wrong with protecting yourself. I’d be mad if you didn’t. Don’t give up anything without a fight. That’s not who you are. I don’t expect you to just let anyone do anything to you. -I was close enough to touch her, though I didn’t. I just let the distance between us close to almost nothing.- I know you know I didn’t come alone. They’re waiting at the car, but I won’t let them come in here if you don’t want them to. -I couldn’t resist the urge to reach up and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. I wanted to take care of her for all the fact that she was in truth much stronger than I was.- Tati: *I could only press my face against Spencer’s hand as he tucked my hair behind my ear. I wanted to pretend that none of this was dangerous. I wanted to think that none of this had happened. We weren’t running for our lives. I wasn’t putting everyone in jeopardy by running. But I knew I was protecting them when they couldn’t see what I was for themselves. I was more concerned with them than they were. They were only thinking of the temporary. The immediate danger. They didn’t understand long term. They didn’t understand that this was my life. But as I relaxed against Spencer, I was hit with the sudden realization that it wasn’t Leah and Logan who had come with him. He had said they were in the car. He never said who it was. And him not telling me who it was should have been the biggest clue that he was hiding something. And I wasn’t going to like what he was going to tell me.* You didn’t, Spencer. Tell me you didn’t come with Beezer. Of all the people, you know I can’t go there. I cannot begin to think about why you thought that was a good idea. *I felt myself start to tremble as I thought about Beezer being so close. The man that was the physical representation of my fear. I didn’t know how to act around him. It wasn’t that I was afraid of him, I was afraid of what he was. I was terrified that someone would do that to me. And it was something I ran from. I didn’t want to give anyone the chance to see it.* If you thought him talking to me was going to be the best idea, you’re mistaken. You know I can’t go there. I cannot begin to think about it. Rora: ^I had given Doc the benefit of the doubt, but this was getting to be a little much. I could see Mal fidgeting, and I knew I needed to get him out of the car. I needed him to get some fresh air. I needed him to relax. Because the truth was that he was going to lose it. And that was when things were going to get dangerous. I wasn’t going to let him go to her, though. As I stepped out of the car, I lifted my hand towards him. It was a beckoning. I wanted him with me, and I knew he wasn’t going to let me go far without him. I wasn’t sure if it was a side effect of me being pregnant, but I wasn’t allowed to be on my own. And it was okay. I knew he was trying to protect me. They both were. But I knew how to protect him, as well. With my hand entwined with his, we started towards the clearing where I knew Tatiana was going to be. And I heard what she was saying. And I understood it to a degree. I could see the pain written on my husband’s face though. And that was the thing that Tatiana had never understood. She didn’t get that this wasn’t someone he wanted to be. He didn’t want people to fear him. It was something he hated about himself. My voice was soft as I walked into the clearing. I gave Doc a small smile as I walked forward.^ We didn’t bring Mal along to talk to you. It’s quite the opposite. I was brought along to talk to you. Mal came because he’s my shadow. Especially with this baby. He’s concerned about keeping it safe. He’s worried about keeping me safe. The last thing he wants is for anyone to be used like he’s been used. ^Coming to stand in front of Tati, I let out a soft sigh. I knew this wasn’t going to be easy for any of us involved. But I knew it was going to be painful if it all came from Mal. So I felt the words start to tumble from my lips.^ Mal wasn’t always a blackout wolf. It was a side effect of his training. And I am eternally grateful to that wolf of his. He protects my husband when I can’t. When no one else was able to, the wolf has always protected Mal. ^Casting a glance over my shoulder, I looked at my husband who was doing everything to not hear what I was saying. He didn’t want to admit any of this to anyone, but I knew the truth. Tatiana needed to hear this. She needed to know that this wasn’t something Mal wanted to do.^ Mal knows what it’s like to be used as a weapon. I understand why you’re terrified of him. But it’s not him that you’re afraid of. I know that, too. I know that you’re afraid of everything Mal was taught to be. But I can tell you that he’s not going to let that happen to you. You can say you’re protecting yourself, but the truth is that you’re protecting everyone else. Let Mal protect you. Mal: -Mal… Malachi. That name I hadn’t heard for a long damned time off anyone’s lips but Rora’s. It belonged there. No one had called me that since I was small, when my mother would call me in for dinner or from upstairs to come down for chores and school. Beezer had been the name of choice for the rest of the world. The name my brother’s had given me when Zeke gave me a broken nose as a seven year old. I knew Tatiana was terrified of me. I knew most people were. Leah and Rora were the rare exceptions. I couldn’t help how I was perceived by the rest of the world. I was what I was. My father had seen to that. But I was a lot more than that. Tati only saw the part that my father had wanted to project to the rest of the world. Rora wasn’t wrong about the wolf. He and I had been bred to be weapons. The blackouts had been trained into me to keep me from objecting or even knowing what was going on when my father was in control. But the wolf had kept them in place when we left. As much as I hated not remembering, at times it was merciful. I kept my distance as the two of them spoke, but I couldn’t help but overhear what they were saying. My ears could have picked up their gentle conversation at twice the distance even if I tried not to pay attention to it. They were talking about me. The thought made me uncomfortable enough without hearing exactly what they had to say about me. I could feel my chest tighten at the words that came from their mouths. Tati clearly didn’t want me here, and I couldn’t blame her for that. My wife was insistent that here was the very place I needed to be. Tati was afraid of not me, but of becoming me. I couldn’t say that I blamed her, but if she thought Leah was going to use her the way my father had used me, she was mistaken. It wasn’t something she would even do, but if she tried, I’d have refused to allow it. There was no way I was going to let that happen to someone else the way it had happened to me whether I knew them or not. I could only step forward, coming close enough to the three of them to make certain I was heard as I spoke- She’s not wrong… She never is really. -shaking my head before I ran a hand roughly over my face, taking a deep breath.- I’d die before I let someone get used the way that I was. I didn’t have anyone to fight for me, and the one person who tried to protect me paid for it with her life. -I took a deep breath, holding back the emotion I could feel welling in my chest, the wolf pacing slightly at the tension that wrought in my frame, though I knew he was going to stay put for now, at least- Protecting everyone else and protecting yourself… Those don’t have to be something you do on your own. Tati:*I was a little surprised when Beezer walked up to me. But he still kept his distance. Like he knew all of this was hard on me. The running had been the worst. Leaving Spencer behind was something I never wanted to do. I didn’t like the thought of leaving him. But I knew the truth. He loved his work with Leah. He loved being there for them. He wanted to give them a safe haven. He didn’t want them to have to answer questions. So he played doctor with them. He gave them the reassurances they needed. He was finding a home. I wasn’t sure what I was finding. But the truth was I didn’t know what the next step was supposed to be. I could only tell them what had happened in the kitchen of the Treehouse. I needed Beezer and Aurora to know the truth of what had happened.* Have you ever been told you have the choice of doing something? But really the choice has already been made? That’s what Leah and Logan did to me. I didn’t get a choice with them. They told me I didn’t have to fight with them. They told me I could walk away from it. But when I told them that I didn’t want to be a part of the fight, I got bullied. I got told that if I didn’t fight, the fight was going to find me anyway. So, essentially, it didn’t matter if I didn’t want to fight. I was fighting. *I felt myself lean against Spencer as the tears started to well in my eyes. I didn’t know how much Mal knew about the discussion with Leah, but he needed to know the truth. I had no idea how they had gotten him to come. I wasn’t sure what lies people had told him.* I have never had control over myself when I shift. And that is okay. I’ve come to terms with it. I’ve figured out how to protect Spencer. That’s all I’ve been able to focus on for the past few years. *I felt the tension in my body as I thought about how many years it had taken before I knew what the hell was going on with me. And in that time to learn how to protect Spencer from when I changed. It was a very long process.* I may have more time to practice, but all of that goes out the window for two weeks every three months. It takes every ounce of control to go somewhere where I won’t hurt people when it’s time to shift. Leah and Logan are now asking me to try to learn everything again. Even with Logan manipulating me into shifting whenever I want, the problem of my temperament remains. Should I risk everyone around me? Are you willing to risk Rora and the baby if I don’t have control when I shift? Mal: -I didn’t have the answers that Tati seemed to so desperately want, and the sheer mention of risking Rora and the baby had my wolf straining at the bars that held him in tenuously in place. I could hear the doubt and fear in her voice. I had no way of convincing her that she was going to be able to do this, and I could tell that she had no faith in her or Logan’s ability to make this work. She was telling me Leah and Logan had pushed her into this corner, one where she got told to shit or get off the pot before she got slapped across the face that this was going to happen whether she liked it or not. I knew Leah. I knew she wasn’t exactly a bully, but that she was going to do whatever she needed to do to protect the house and the people in it, which included Tati whether she believed it or not. I kept my voice soft for the moment, though I couldn’t stop the deep rumble that came with the effort of holding the wolf within me at bay- I thought the same thing the first time I shifted around her, around any of them. The black wolf in me… -shaking my head for the moment as I thought about the things that he’d done- he is ruthless, and I’ve seen the aftermath of the things he’s done. He was trained to be a killing machine. That’s all I was supposed to be good for. I can’t make you any promises except this one. Whenever you shift, he will be there. And I can promise you there isn’t anything he wouldn’t do to protect his family. I know you know me… even if I don’t know you. At least you know me by reputation, and I can’t say I blame you for being scared. I can’t tell you all of this is going to turn out alright. I can’t tell you my family isn’t going to come in teeth bared and snarling and take us all down. But I have to fight for what I’ve found. Life isn’t worth living without it. I was born into a family that only wanted me for what I could do for them. I stumbled into one that would do anything for me instead. You can be a part of that too. I know what it’s like to shut the world away, to keep yourself apart to protect others. It’s part of protecting yourself too. I’ve been there. I spent a long time on my own before I came here with Leah. She was the first person who took me in and made me part of her life when I had nothing to offer her. She’s ruthless too when it comes to protecting what she loves, but I’ll keep her in check, even if no one else can. She hates this whole alpha thing. I can’t say I blame her. It wasn’t the life either of us wanted exactly. She does the best she can with it. -I knew I was babbling. I was a little nervous. And I wasn’t sure I could convince Tatiana of anything, especially when I wasn’t good with words. Reaching out for Rora’s hand, I threaded my fingers between hers and drew her into my side.- I’ll protect my family. And I don’t just mean Rora and the baby… -trying to catch Tatiana’s eyes with my own- The offer to be a part of the family is there if you want to take it, the protection too. I won’t let them push you past what you’re capable of doing, but I think you’re capable of a lot more than you know. -I could smell the fear on her, but I could smell the wolf too. I’d scented her in the woods around the Treehouse on occasion, but that occasion was rare. I knew she kept to herself, and I’d let her. I knew that need to be a loner better than most around here. Leah knew it too, though for her it was for an entirely different reason.- Go ahead and slap me if I’m wrong here. I won’t stop you. And I won’t stop you from running if it’s the thing you need to do. Rora: ^I could only shake my head at Mal. The truth was that he was intense on a good day. On a bad day, he was downright intimidating. And I wasn’t entirely sure what kind of a day this was for him. It could be a good day when he thought he was being intense. But to Tatiana, it could be a bad day. Taking a breath, I couldn’t stop myself from joining in again. But this time, I turned my attention back to my husband. I could see him with that singular focus. He was defending Leah, and didn’t understand what it was like for outsiders. It was the same thing I had gone through the first time I had met Leah. He was underestimating Tatiana.^ Malachi. Take a breath, and listen to her. ^Moving to put myself in my husband’s line of sight, I needed him to see that this was serious. I had to make him realize that his blind trust in Leah didn’t always work for everyone. It hadn’t been a comfort to me, and it wasn’t a comfort to Tatiana.^ You’re making the same assumption that Leah made. You know your wolf because he is a part of you. You know that he was taught to be a killing machine. But the problem that you, Leah, and Logan are all overlooking is that Tatiana knows her wolf as well as you know yours. ^I couldn’t help the tinge of disappointment in my tone. Everyone wanted what was best for the Treehouse. They wanted what was best for the people living there. They wanted to get everyone they knew into the fight. But they didn’t want to listen when there was something to take into consideration.^ This isn’t about being like you. This isn’t about her being a weapon. This is about Tatiana being afraid to put everyone around her at risk. She doesn’t want to hurt anyone. And that’s something she’s afraid of. It’s a valid point, Mal. What if she can’t control herself when she shifts? What if her temperament doesn’t change, and she’s still as vicious as she is now? Should we risk everyone’s life with someone that doesn’t actually want to hurt us? Malachi: -I locked eyes with my wife and instantly felt like an asshole. I knew I was being pushy, but I had a hard time turning down the intensity a lot of the time, even when I could sympathize with Tatiana. It would be easy to sit here and beat myself up about it. I was good at that, but it wouldn’t get anything done. I had to stop and take a breath, consider everything from someone else’s point of view. It wasn’t just about the what if’s. There was history there, and Tatiana knew it better than any of us, even Doc. I needed to listen to her.- Then I owe her an apology. I have to think that this is all going to work out, because I can’t think about the alternative, Angel. If it gives me tunnel vision, then I have to fight against it. Just keep reminding me. -The last thing I wanted was to get so single minded that I let it turn me into my father. He would have used anyone he could to get to the ends he sought after. And while his were always selfish, the fact that mine weren’t didn’t mean that the ends justified the means. I moved to be able to look Tatiana in the eye- Listen, I’m sorry. I don’t know what it’s like for you. I can only tell you what it’s like for me. I wouldn’t want to put any of the people here or back at the house in danger, and I wouldn’t want to put you in the position of being responsible for it. It is a valid point. I just can’t help but hope that things will be different. In the end, it’s your call. I promise you that. It’s my fault that you’re in this position to start with, and I couldn’t begin to apologize enough for all of that. -I wasn’t sure what else to say. I wasn’t wrong, and I felt like I needed Tatiana’s help, but in the end it was her decision to make, not mine or anyone else’s to make for her- If you want to stay, I’ll help you. I’ll make sure no one else is around when you shift until you’re sure that you’re safe. If you want to run, I’ll make sure you get where you’re going safely. Just tell me what you want to do, and I’ll stand behind that one hundred percent. Tati: *I could only nod my head as Beezer apologized. I wasn’t entirely sure what to make of his offer, though. Was this something I wanted to do? Did I truly want to see if I could take control of my wolf? It was a silent need, though. I hated that I needed to protect Doc every time I went to shift. There was still so much going through my head, though. There was something about Logan’s magic that I wasn’t sure I trusted. I didn’t like how he could make promises of me shifting. I didn’t trust how sure he was of everything. But maybe it was just Logan himself. The first time we had met, and he basically threatened my life without saying the words. He was great at manipulating those around him to get what he wanted. I knew it wasn’t that way with Leah, but he had tried to do it to me. And I wasn’t sure I was willing to be put under his thumb that way. I let my eyes go between Mal and Spencer’s before I took a breath. Letting my gaze fall on Spence, I shrugged my shoulders.* The only thing I have ever wanted was to be safe for you to be around. I hate leaving you when I shift. I hate that you’re in danger for any amount of time. If you think this is a risk I shouldn’t take, please say the word. I won’t do this if you don’t think this is a good idea. Spencer: -I’d been studying Tatiana for a long time, longer than we’d been together. It was how we’d met each other. I had found a few of the answers she was looking for, but I was far from figuring it all out. The truth of the matter was, she had to leave whenever Mars was in retrograde. There was no way I was going to be safe around her until she could control herself, and at the moment, control was far from what she was capable of. I had no way of knowing if any of this would work. My world was steeped in the paranormal, but it was also grounded in the scientific. I’d done the best I could at consolidating both of the realms into one, but there were times when I couldn’t explain or predict things at all. This was one of those times. I had two options here, and I was fairly certain Tati would listen to whichever I chose. I could be selfish either way, even when that wasn’t in my nature. I could take her away from all of this and go back to living the fairly quiet life we were leading, even if it meant walking away from the work I’d done here. For her, it was worth it. Or I could stay, and chance this with her, just for the ability to be with her all the time, not having to have one or the other of us hide when she was out of control. Being in control would mean the world to her. It would mean she was in charge even when the wolf was out. It was something she never thought she was going to have. And in the end I thought that was worth a try, even if it didn’t work. - I think it’s worth a shot, Tati. You’ll never know what you’re capable of unless you try, and this is the safest way I can think of attempting it. I’ve seen him shift. If it’s just the two of you, he’ll be safe, and be able to protect anyone else from you if you can’t keep control. Go far enough away and even that won’t be an issue until you’re ready for it to be. It can go slowly, as slowly as you want. I say you set the terms of all of this. Let it be completely in your hands, not anyone else’s call. Tati: *I nodded my head at Spencer’s words. He was right. This had to be on my own terms. I couldn’t do this for anyone else. It was something that I needed to do for me. There was no other way I could think of it. Turning my attention back to Beezer, I nodded my head.* Spencer is absolutely right. This has to be on my terms. We do this as far away from anyone at the treehouse as possible. And it has to be just you and me. Aurora cannot be here, Leah can’t be here. The only time Logan can be around is to do his thing with my shifting. He can’t be there for the training. I won’t think twice about going after him. *I could only bite my lip as I thought about the next part of the request. I wasn’t sure it was something that could be pulled off, but they’d have to figure it out. I couldn’t change my thoughts on Logan right now. Not with what he had said or made me feel. I didn’t trust him. I didn’t want to trust him. And me agreeing to this was more for Spencer and Beezer than it was for Logan and Leah.* There has to be another witch there when he does his thing. I don’t trust him to do something more. I don’t care if you don’t think he will, I don’t trust him. He has shown me that he is nothing more than a guy that will do anything in his power to get what he wants. I will let him do his thing, but he has to watched by someone else. That’s my offer. Take it or I leave with Spencer. Mal: -I listened, and heard the demand in her voice. She wasn’t wrong, though. She didn’t know Logan that well. None of us really did except for Leah. That meant I trusted him, just because she did, but it didn’t mean anything for Tati. The only encounter she’d ever had with him had been him telling her to basically shit or get off the pot. Asking for a second opinion was just common sense. And I knew just who needed to be around. I wouldn’t have wanted anyone to be around during the training, and most certainly not Rora. So everything she said was making sense at the moment. Things were falling into place, and if we were careful, they just might turn out the way we wanted- Then we do it your way, Tatiana. No one needs to be around but you and I. I wouldn’t want any of them nearby until we’re certain you can trust yourself. Hell, I’m still nervous about shifting around some of them. Not Rora, because my wolf would die before he let her or the baby be hurt, but other people, yeah. He can have a mind of his own, but he’s usually ok with people he likes. As for another witch… -glancing over at my wife with a soft smile- I think Rora and I know just the person. It shouldn’t be too hard to get her here either. Not if I know her. I wouldn’t be surprised if she knew what was up before we got to her as a matter of fact. So, if you’re game. So am I. All that’s left to do is get our asses back to the Treehouse and get this show back on the road. -I slid my hands in my pockets with a smile. Things had changed quite a bit since we pulled over at the side of the road. The woman who had been terrified to even be around me was now insistent that I be around to make sure everyone else was safe around her, to work with her to make sure she could control her wolf. I knew I was in for a lot of work with her, but if I could save her even a quarter of the heartache I’d been through with everything then it would be worth every moment of it. I could only hope I was up to the job.- #PretendingIDontFeelMisplaced

[eversopatiently-blog]

Pretending I Don't Feel Misplaced (SL With @IWillNotFade, @DoNoHarm_, and @InColdDecember)

Tati: *Doc had called a million times asking me to stop. Telling me that he was coming to find me. I just couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to hide from him, but I couldn’t face Leah or Logan after I had walked away from everyone. I knew they blamed me. They hated me for leaving. For not being willing to help. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t bring myself to face Malachi. He was just too much. I wasn’t willing to let myself be a pawn like he was. They claimed they weren’t going to use me as a weapon. Logan claimed he could play with my shifting. It wasn’t the shifting I was concerned about. It had never been the shifting. It was my temperament as a wolf that terrified me. I knew I was vicious. The only person I could be around when I shifted was Doc. But even that was a touchy subject. I didn’t trust myself around Spencer. I wanted to. I wanted to let him be beside me every step of the way. But this wasn’t easy for me. It hadn’t ever been easy. I felt myself shiver as I settled on a down tree branch. No matter what, I kept moving. I knew it was a matter of time until Spencer found a way to find me. But I wasn’t sure what was going to happen. I wasn’t sure how he was going to find me. I didn’t know if Leah and Logan were going to be with him, or if he was going to be alone. To be honest, I wasn’t entirely sure I trusted Leah and Logan. I didn’t know if the two of them had what was best for me in mind when they tried to get me to be a part of their pack. In fact, I knew they didn’t. They were thinking about what was the best move for the pack. What was the best move to take down the St. Pierre pack. I didn’t hold that against them. But I stood by the fact that they didn’t know what they were asking of me. It was a scenario I had let go through my mind a million times. What if I did let Logan manipulate my genes? He claimed that he could give me the power to shift at will. But was I crazy to not trust the magic he was offering? I didn’t trust anyone. It was something that was always in the back of my mind. I was going to be used as a weapon. It was what the other wolves in my father’s pack had wanted. But my father knew it wasn’t fair to me. So he let me go. And issued the warning that if anyone came for me, they were dead. Even if I wasn’t a part of that pack, I was still his daughter. I always would be. I could have run back there. Arkansas was only a few miles away. I knew I was sitting close to the border. But I also knew that if I did go there, Spencer was going to find me. But I knew I needed to stop. I needed Spencer in a way I hadn’t ever needed, or wanted, anyone before. I wanted to trust him. I wanted to give him every part of me. But I wasn’t entirely sure how to do it. I didn’t know how to open myself up to him. Pulling out my phone, I sent him one message. I didn’t know if it would bring him to me, or drive him away, but I needed something. I needed him to know that I loved him. It was the only way he knew I was giving him something. I wasn’t sure if he was going to accept it, but I needed him to know that I was trying.* There’s a wooded area off of route 167 just before you cross the border into Arkansas. Spencer: -I didn’t even have to pick my phone up to know it was Tati texting me. I’d set her tones to something different than everyone else a million years ago. The sound alone told me everything I needed to know. I’d been trying to call her since she ran out that door, but I knew better than to think she was going to answer me. The fact that she was texting me now was more of a surprise than I cared to admit out loud. This wasn’t the first time that Tati had run away. She had a habit of avoiding everyone, even me, when things became too much for her to handle, when the time came for her to shift or when she just couldn’t take any more of the world. I’d learned not to take it personally a long time ago, but sometimes it was hard. This time was one of those times. The thing was, this time, I was already out looking for her. I hadn’t known where to begin, but Beezer had. He’d scented her at least this far, and judging from her text, we didn’t have much farther to go. I had no clue how she was going to react once we got there a whole hell of a lot faster than we probably should have. All I could do was take a deep breath and let the two weres who’d come with me this far know what the message had said.- So, she just messaged me. -glancing over at Beezer and Aurora with a soft exhale before I continued- She’s not far. A grassy area off route 167. Do you know it? Because I do if you don’t. -I’d passed it before, without knowing it was the place she would run to. Maybe it was where she always went, maybe it was somewhere else, a random place she’d just picked out of the blue. I had no way of knowing. I could only hope that she wouldn’t freak out when I didn’t show up alone and run again, this time to somewhere we wouldn’t be able to find. I grabbed my phone and tapped out a reply- I’ll be there soon. -sending it before I slid my phone back into my pocket, mind churning to try to figure out what to do when we got there. I didn’t know if I should go out and speak to her on my own before I let her know the other two were there or what. I knew she would probably know they were coming before she saw them, that she would smell them on the wind before she scented me if the wind was right. I had no clue what I was doing here. I just needed to find her.- Rora: ^As soon as Doc said she was in the area just off of 167, I knew where she was. It was a place I had visited one time, but I felt myself take in a breath of air. I didn’t like thinking of that time. I couldn’t ignore the look from Mal, though. And I knew I was going to have to explain to him why I knew it. But I also knew that we didn’t need to go barging in like we owned the place. As we pulled off the road, I let my hand rest on Mal’s arm.^ We can’t go to her just yet. Doc needs to talk to her alone. He’ll help in getting her to listen to us. ^I knew Mal didn’t like sending Spencer to talk to her alone. He didn’t know what was in these woods. But I knew what was here. It was relatively safe. Derrick was back in New Orleans with Mal’s family. I couldn’t even begin to understand what was going on there. I could imagine it, though. They were doing everything to prepare for battle. I knew Derrick. I knew what a battle meant to him. And if the stories Mal had told me were anything to go by, I knew that he would fit in with the St. Pierre’s.^ She doesn’t know you like I do. She knows the horror stories of your father’s pack, though. She knows you were used as a weapon, Mal. She has never seen you when we’re together. She doesn’t know that you can be the sweetest guy in the world. She doesn’t understand that. ^Taking a breath, I brought my leg up and folded it under me. As I turned to face Mal, I was struck by his beauty. I wasn’t sure if he was ever going to acknowledge it, but he was handsome. I had learned to stop telling him, though. All he saw were the scars and injuries. I saw them for what they were, marks of a survivor.^ When you’re alone, you’re a lot to take in. And that’s when you’re not a wolf. You know that as a wolf you’re big and imposing. You could give her a run for her money if you wanted to control her. ^Putting a hand up as Mal went to rebuke me, I gave him a look.^ I know you would never do it. I know that you hate what your father made you into. I know that’s why you and Leah are still together after all this time. But Tatiana doesn’t understand that. Logan and Leah might not understand, but she kept herself away from us for a reason. Not only does she not have control as a wolf, she’s in the same space as you. And everything she knows about you makes her scared. So she kept herself at arms length to protect everyone, even herself. You can’t give her another reason to be afraid of you, Malachi. She needs to see what I see. She needs to understand that you’re not the wolf your father or brothers are. She needs to know that you don’t want to use her as a weapon. Mal: -I made myself listen as my wife talked, despite my gut instinct being to disagree with her. I knew she was right. It wasn't what she was trying to tell me that I thought was wrong. It was just that I knew Tatiana’s gut reaction to me was the one I'd been fighting all my life not to be. My father had wanted me to be this fighting machine, a tool that he could wield as he and then my older brother saw fit. I wouldn't have used the power I had to control another, not when it was exactly what had been done to me. But I also knew Tatiana had no way of knowing that. She didn't know me, not at all, and I'd only ever caught glimpses of her in passing during the few times she'd been at the treehouse. I knew I could be intimidating. I was almost as big as my brother, and I was faster. It gave me the advantage in a fight and it was pretty evident to anyone who knew anything about a fight at first glance. I wasn't a fool. Never mind the scars I'd been left with after years of fighting both on behalf of my family and on my own just for survival after I left. I was strong, but I wasn't invincible. I'd been brought along to help find her. Doc was the one she was tied to, and as nervous as letting him go in to find her alone made me, I knew it was a necessary evil. I was still going to be on edge as all this happened though. There was no getting around any of that. If she saw me coming, her first instinct was going to be to run. He was going to have to soften her up for me to be able to get even close enough to her to get a word in. And there were a few words I needed to get in. There wasn't anyone here who understood that fear of being used for what you were quite like I did. There was more than a bit of terror in not being in control of yourself during a shift. The ability to recall what had happened when I shifted came and went with the moods of my wolf. If he had business he didn't want me to know about, I wasn't going to remember a moment of it. If he allowed, I would have perfect recognition. I supposed it was his way of protecting me from knowing about how he took care of business. And I supposed it was a mercy, but I was never in control. Reaching out to run a hand along Rora’s arm until my fingers found hers and I gave her hand a squeeze, keeping it there even after I could have pulled away- Then Doc goes in first, but I want to talk to her. I need her to know what's real. At least I need to try to tell her. I don't know how much good it will do. Spencer: -Beezer and Aurora were talking along the edge of the road, but I paid them little attention. I didn’t know what was passing between the two of them at the moment, perhaps it wasn’t my place to know. I did know them both well enough to know that they were going to try to help as much as they could. I’d tried before to explain a little to Tati about him, but she couldn’t get past the last name. I’d heard of the St. Pierre’s. I’d been in Louisiana for awhile now, and there was no way to be a part of the shifter world here without hearing about them. I had to admit that it gave me pause at first. His name, combined with his size, was enough to frighten anyone. I couldn’t blame her for that. But I’d gotten to know him since his arrival, at least on a few occasions. He didn’t remember what happened when he shifted, and he had a tendency to come back from those sessions with a wound or two. I’d forced him to come see me about the worst of them, the ones he couldn’t take care of himself. They healed fast, but they could still get infected, and they had a rough time coming back from something during the full moon when all their energy was focused on the animal within. He was a lot like her. He had a hard time controlling his shifting from time to time, but mostly he had a hard time controlling the wolf that came out. It was merciful enough to block him from remembering what it got up to when it was more than the man could handle. In truth, he was a giant, but he was fairly soft spoken and gentle. The man and the wolf were two different, albeit connected things. The scientist in me found him fascinating. He was bred to be a weapon, and he’d overcome all of that breeding and training to be what he had become. But I also understood why Tatiana was frightened. If I’d grown up with stories of what the family could get up to, I would be just as terrified. I had the advantage of coming at everything here from an outsider’s perspective. I left the two of them behind. I needed to go in first to try to explain to Tati what was going on, why the two of them were here and just pray she didn’t run again. The clearing wasn’t far from the highway, though it was concealed by a stand of trees I needed to make my way around to come out into the open. I had no idea what to expect when i walked into the clearing. She’d all but asked me to come with that text message, so I could only assume she wanted me to find her. My eyes darted around the clearing, looking for any sign of her as I called out her name- Tati? -The uncertainly in my voice was clear. She was here somewhere. I knew that much at least.- Tati: *I heard Spencer calling out, and I had been right. It hadn’t taken that long for him to come looking for me. It also helped that he knew where I was running to. I just knew that there was a risk with walking over the border into Arkansas. I knew that there was a chance I was going to be looked for. And I wasn’t about to go there. I wasn’t ready to give myself up to any one pack. I didn’t trust any person enough to be with a pack. In truth, Spencer was my pack. He was the only one I cared about. Stepping out into the clearing, I took a breath. My senses were heightened, so I could smell that he wasn’t alone. Or rather that he hadn’t been alone. But I knew he needed help in finding me.* I can’t do it, Spencer. I can’t let them do that to me. Am I insane for not being sure about Logan’s magic? Am I stupid for not being willing to see if it works? *My nerves were shot. There was no way to explain it. But I needed him to see my side of everything, and that had never been an issue with Spencer. He understood me in a way no one else understood. We had spent so much time talking about everything. He knew my fears and my reactions better than I did.* I understand that this is their family, and they want to do everything in their power to protect it, but am I crazy for wanting to protect myself? Spencer: -I could hear the fear in her voice. She was scared, but there was more behind it than that. She wasn’t just scared of Beezer. It was what he represented that terrified Tati. To her, he was everything she was afraid of being. I raked a hand through my hair listening to her as I slowly approached the edge of the clearing she’d appeared from. I needed to be closer to her, needed her to be able to look into my eyes so she could see that I meant what I was saying.- Tati, there’s nothing wrong with protecting yourself. I’d be mad if you didn’t. Don’t give up anything without a fight. That’s not who you are. I don’t expect you to just let anyone do anything to you. -I was close enough to touch her, though I didn’t. I just let the distance between us close to almost nothing.- I know you know I didn’t come alone. They’re waiting at the car, but I won’t let them come in here if you don’t want them to. -I couldn’t resist the urge to reach up and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. I wanted to take care of her for all the fact that she was in truth much stronger than I was.- Tati: *I could only press my face against Spencer’s hand as he tucked my hair behind my ear. I wanted to pretend that none of this was dangerous. I wanted to think that none of this had happened. We weren’t running for our lives. I wasn’t putting everyone in jeopardy by running. But I knew I was protecting them when they couldn’t see what I was for themselves. I was more concerned with them than they were. They were only thinking of the temporary. The immediate danger. They didn’t understand long term. They didn’t understand that this was my life. But as I relaxed against Spencer, I was hit with the sudden realization that it wasn’t Leah and Logan who had come with him. He had said they were in the car. He never said who it was. And him not telling me who it was should have been the biggest clue that he was hiding something. And I wasn’t going to like what he was going to tell me.* You didn’t, Spencer. Tell me you didn’t come with Beezer. Of all the people, you know I can’t go there. I cannot begin to think about why you thought that was a good idea. *I felt myself start to tremble as I thought about Beezer being so close. The man that was the physical representation of my fear. I didn’t know how to act around him. It wasn’t that I was afraid of him, I was afraid of what he was. I was terrified that someone would do that to me. And it was something I ran from. I didn’t want to give anyone the chance to see it.* If you thought him talking to me was going to be the best idea, you’re mistaken. You know I can’t go there. I cannot begin to think about it. Rora: ^I had given Doc the benefit of the doubt, but this was getting to be a little much. I could see Mal fidgeting, and I knew I needed to get him out of the car. I needed him to get some fresh air. I needed him to relax. Because the truth was that he was going to lose it. And that was when things were going to get dangerous. I wasn’t going to let him go to her, though. As I stepped out of the car, I lifted my hand towards him. It was a beckoning. I wanted him with me, and I knew he wasn’t going to let me go far without him. I wasn’t sure if it was a side effect of me being pregnant, but I wasn’t allowed to be on my own. And it was okay. I knew he was trying to protect me. They both were. But I knew how to protect him, as well. With my hand entwined with his, we started towards the clearing where I knew Tatiana was going to be. And I heard what she was saying. And I understood it to a degree. I could see the pain written on my husband’s face though. And that was the thing that Tatiana had never understood. She didn’t get that this wasn’t someone he wanted to be. He didn’t want people to fear him. It was something he hated about himself. My voice was soft as I walked into the clearing. I gave Doc a small smile as I walked forward.^ We didn’t bring Mal along to talk to you. It’s quite the opposite. I was brought along to talk to you. Mal came because he’s my shadow. Especially with this baby. He’s concerned about keeping it safe. He’s worried about keeping me safe. The last thing he wants is for anyone to be used like he’s been used. ^Coming to stand in front of Tati, I let out a soft sigh. I knew this wasn’t going to be easy for any of us involved. But I knew it was going to be painful if it all came from Mal. So I felt the words start to tumble from my lips.^ Mal wasn’t always a blackout wolf. It was a side effect of his training. And I am eternally grateful to that wolf of his. He protects my husband when I can’t. When no one else was able to, the wolf has always protected Mal. ^Casting a glance over my shoulder, I looked at my husband who was doing everything to not hear what I was saying. He didn’t want to admit any of this to anyone, but I knew the truth. Tatiana needed to hear this. She needed to know that this wasn’t something Mal wanted to do.^ Mal knows what it’s like to be used as a weapon. I understand why you’re terrified of him. But it’s not him that you’re afraid of. I know that, too. I know that you’re afraid of everything Mal was taught to be. But I can tell you that he’s not going to let that happen to you. You can say you’re protecting yourself, but the truth is that you’re protecting everyone else. Let Mal protect you. Mal: -Mal… Malachi. That name I hadn’t heard for a long damned time off anyone’s lips but Rora’s. It belonged there. No one had called me that since I was small, when my mother would call me in for dinner or from upstairs to come down for chores and school. Beezer had been the name of choice for the rest of the world. The name my brother’s had given me when Zeke gave me a broken nose as a seven year old. I knew Tatiana was terrified of me. I knew most people were. Leah and Rora were the rare exceptions. I couldn’t help how I was perceived by the rest of the world. I was what I was. My father had seen to that. But I was a lot more than that. Tati only saw the part that my father had wanted to project to the rest of the world. Rora wasn’t wrong about the wolf. He and I had been bred to be weapons. The blackouts had been trained into me to keep me from objecting or even knowing what was going on when my father was in control. But the wolf had kept them in place when we left. As much as I hated not remembering, at times it was merciful. I kept my distance as the two of them spoke, but I couldn’t help but overhear what they were saying. My ears could have picked up their gentle conversation at twice the distance even if I tried not to pay attention to it. They were talking about me. The thought made me uncomfortable enough without hearing exactly what they had to say about me. I could feel my chest tighten at the words that came from their mouths. Tati clearly didn’t want me here, and I couldn’t blame her for that. My wife was insistent that here was the very place I needed to be. Tati was afraid of not me, but of becoming me. I couldn’t say that I blamed her, but if she thought Leah was going to use her the way my father had used me, she was mistaken. It wasn’t something she would even do, but if she tried, I’d have refused to allow it. There was no way I was going to let that happen to someone else the way it had happened to me whether I knew them or not. I could only step forward, coming close enough to the three of them to make certain I was heard as I spoke- She’s not wrong… She never is really. -shaking my head before I ran a hand roughly over my face, taking a deep breath.- I’d die before I let someone get used the way that I was. I didn’t have anyone to fight for me, and the one person who tried to protect me paid for it with her life. -I took a deep breath, holding back the emotion I could feel welling in my chest, the wolf pacing slightly at the tension that wrought in my frame, though I knew he was going to stay put for now, at least- Protecting everyone else and protecting yourself… Those don’t have to be something you do on your own. Tati:*I was a little surprised when Beezer walked up to me. But he still kept his distance. Like he knew all of this was hard on me. The running had been the worst. Leaving Spencer behind was something I never wanted to do. I didn’t like the thought of leaving him. But I knew the truth. He loved his work with Leah. He loved being there for them. He wanted to give them a safe haven. He didn’t want them to have to answer questions. So he played doctor with them. He gave them the reassurances they needed. He was finding a home. I wasn’t sure what I was finding. But the truth was I didn’t know what the next step was supposed to be. I could only tell them what had happened in the kitchen of the Treehouse. I needed Beezer and Aurora to know the truth of what had happened.* Have you ever been told you have the choice of doing something? But really the choice has already been made? That’s what Leah and Logan did to me. I didn’t get a choice with them. They told me I didn’t have to fight with them. They told me I could walk away from it. But when I told them that I didn’t want to be a part of the fight, I got bullied. I got told that if I didn’t fight, the fight was going to find me anyway. So, essentially, it didn’t matter if I didn’t want to fight. I was fighting. *I felt myself lean against Spencer as the tears started to well in my eyes. I didn’t know how much Mal knew about the discussion with Leah, but he needed to know the truth. I had no idea how they had gotten him to come. I wasn’t sure what lies people had told him.* I have never had control over myself when I shift. And that is okay. I’ve come to terms with it. I’ve figured out how to protect Spencer. That’s all I’ve been able to focus on for the past few years. *I felt the tension in my body as I thought about how many years it had taken before I knew what the hell was going on with me. And in that time to learn how to protect Spencer from when I changed. It was a very long process.* I may have more time to practice, but all of that goes out the window for two weeks every three months. It takes every ounce of control to go somewhere where I won’t hurt people when it’s time to shift. Leah and Logan are now asking me to try to learn everything again. Even with Logan manipulating me into shifting whenever I want, the problem of my temperament remains. Should I risk everyone around me? Are you willing to risk Rora and the baby if I don’t have control when I shift? Mal: -I didn’t have the answers that Tati seemed to so desperately want, and the sheer mention of risking Rora and the baby had my wolf straining at the bars that held him in tenuously in place. I could hear the doubt and fear in her voice. I had no way of convincing her that she was going to be able to do this, and I could tell that she had no faith in her or Logan’s ability to make this work. She was telling me Leah and Logan had pushed her into this corner, one where she got told to shit or get off the pot before she got slapped across the face that this was going to happen whether she liked it or not. I knew Leah. I knew she wasn’t exactly a bully, but that she was going to do whatever she needed to do to protect the house and the people in it, which included Tati whether she believed it or not. I kept my voice soft for the moment, though I couldn’t stop the deep rumble that came with the effort of holding the wolf within me at bay- I thought the same thing the first time I shifted around her, around any of them. The black wolf in me… -shaking my head for the moment as I thought about the things that he’d done- he is ruthless, and I’ve seen the aftermath of the things he’s done. He was trained to be a killing machine. That’s all I was supposed to be good for. I can’t make you any promises except this one. Whenever you shift, he will be there. And I can promise you there isn’t anything he wouldn’t do to protect his family. I know you know me… even if I don’t know you. At least you know me by reputation, and I can’t say I blame you for being scared. I can’t tell you all of this is going to turn out alright. I can’t tell you my family isn’t going to come in teeth bared and snarling and take us all down. But I have to fight for what I’ve found. Life isn’t worth living without it. I was born into a family that only wanted me for what I could do for them. I stumbled into one that would do anything for me instead. You can be a part of that too. I know what it’s like to shut the world away, to keep yourself apart to protect others. It’s part of protecting yourself too. I’ve been there. I spent a long time on my own before I came here with Leah. She was the first person who took me in and made me part of her life when I had nothing to offer her. She’s ruthless too when it comes to protecting what she loves, but I’ll keep her in check, even if no one else can. She hates this whole alpha thing. I can’t say I blame her. It wasn’t the life either of us wanted exactly. She does the best she can with it. -I knew I was babbling. I was a little nervous. And I wasn’t sure I could convince Tatiana of anything, especially when I wasn’t good with words. Reaching out for Rora’s hand, I threaded my fingers between hers and drew her into my side.- I’ll protect my family. And I don’t just mean Rora and the baby… -trying to catch Tatiana’s eyes with my own- The offer to be a part of the family is there if you want to take it, the protection too. I won’t let them push you past what you’re capable of doing, but I think you’re capable of a lot more than you know. -I could smell the fear on her, but I could smell the wolf too. I’d scented her in the woods around the Treehouse on occasion, but that occasion was rare. I knew she kept to herself, and I’d let her. I knew that need to be a loner better than most around here. Leah knew it too, though for her it was for an entirely different reason.- Go ahead and slap me if I’m wrong here. I won’t stop you. And I won’t stop you from running if it’s the thing you need to do. Rora: ^I could only shake my head at Mal. The truth was that he was intense on a good day. On a bad day, he was downright intimidating. And I wasn’t entirely sure what kind of a day this was for him. It could be a good day when he thought he was being intense. But to Tatiana, it could be a bad day. Taking a breath, I couldn’t stop myself from joining in again. But this time, I turned my attention back to my husband. I could see him with that singular focus. He was defending Leah, and didn’t understand what it was like for outsiders. It was the same thing I had gone through the first time I had met Leah. He was underestimating Tatiana.^ Malachi. Take a breath, and listen to her. ^Moving to put myself in my husband’s line of sight, I needed him to see that this was serious. I had to make him realize that his blind trust in Leah didn’t always work for everyone. It hadn’t been a comfort to me, and it wasn’t a comfort to Tatiana.^ You’re making the same assumption that Leah made. You know your wolf because he is a part of you. You know that he was taught to be a killing machine. But the problem that you, Leah, and Logan are all overlooking is that Tatiana knows her wolf as well as you know yours. ^I couldn’t help the tinge of disappointment in my tone. Everyone wanted what was best for the Treehouse. They wanted what was best for the people living there. They wanted to get everyone they knew into the fight. But they didn’t want to listen when there was something to take into consideration.^ This isn’t about being like you. This isn’t about her being a weapon. This is about Tatiana being afraid to put everyone around her at risk. She doesn’t want to hurt anyone. And that’s something she’s afraid of. It’s a valid point, Mal. What if she can’t control herself when she shifts? What if her temperament doesn’t change, and she’s still as vicious as she is now? Should we risk everyone’s life with someone that doesn’t actually want to hurt us? Malachi: -I locked eyes with my wife and instantly felt like an asshole. I knew I was being pushy, but I had a hard time turning down the intensity a lot of the time, even when I could sympathize with Tatiana. It would be easy to sit here and beat myself up about it. I was good at that, but it wouldn’t get anything done. I had to stop and take a breath, consider everything from someone else’s point of view. It wasn’t just about the what if’s. There was history there, and Tatiana knew it better than any of us, even Doc. I needed to listen to her.- Then I owe her an apology. I have to think that this is all going to work out, because I can’t think about the alternative, Angel. If it gives me tunnel vision, then I have to fight against it. Just keep reminding me. -The last thing I wanted was to get so single minded that I let it turn me into my father. He would have used anyone he could to get to the ends he sought after. And while his were always selfish, the fact that mine weren’t didn’t mean that the ends justified the means. I moved to be able to look Tatiana in the eye- Listen, I’m sorry. I don’t know what it’s like for you. I can only tell you what it’s like for me. I wouldn’t want to put any of the people here or back at the house in danger, and I wouldn’t want to put you in the position of being responsible for it. It is a valid point. I just can’t help but hope that things will be different. In the end, it’s your call. I promise you that. It’s my fault that you’re in this position to start with, and I couldn’t begin to apologize enough for all of that. -I wasn’t sure what else to say. I wasn’t wrong, and I felt like I needed Tatiana’s help, but in the end it was her decision to make, not mine or anyone else’s to make for her- If you want to stay, I’ll help you. I’ll make sure no one else is around when you shift until you’re sure that you’re safe. If you want to run, I’ll make sure you get where you’re going safely. Just tell me what you want to do, and I’ll stand behind that one hundred percent. Tati: *I could only nod my head as Beezer apologized. I wasn’t entirely sure what to make of his offer, though. Was this something I wanted to do? Did I truly want to see if I could take control of my wolf? It was a silent need, though. I hated that I needed to protect Doc every time I went to shift. There was still so much going through my head, though. There was something about Logan’s magic that I wasn’t sure I trusted. I didn’t like how he could make promises of me shifting. I didn’t trust how sure he was of everything. But maybe it was just Logan himself. The first time we had met, and he basically threatened my life without saying the words. He was great at manipulating those around him to get what he wanted. I knew it wasn’t that way with Leah, but he had tried to do it to me. And I wasn’t sure I was willing to be put under his thumb that way. I let my eyes go between Mal and Spencer’s before I took a breath. Letting my gaze fall on Spence, I shrugged my shoulders.* The only thing I have ever wanted was to be safe for you to be around. I hate leaving you when I shift. I hate that you’re in danger for any amount of time. If you think this is a risk I shouldn’t take, please say the word. I won’t do this if you don’t think this is a good idea. Spencer: -I’d been studying Tatiana for a long time, longer than we’d been together. It was how we’d met each other. I had found a few of the answers she was looking for, but I was far from figuring it all out. The truth of the matter was, she had to leave whenever Mars was in retrograde. There was no way I was going to be safe around her until she could control herself, and at the moment, control was far from what she was capable of. I had no way of knowing if any of this would work. My world was steeped in the paranormal, but it was also grounded in the scientific. I’d done the best I could at consolidating both of the realms into one, but there were times when I couldn’t explain or predict things at all. This was one of those times. I had two options here, and I was fairly certain Tati would listen to whichever I chose. I could be selfish either way, even when that wasn’t in my nature. I could take her away from all of this and go back to living the fairly quiet life we were leading, even if it meant walking away from the work I’d done here. For her, it was worth it. Or I could stay, and chance this with her, just for the ability to be with her all the time, not having to have one or the other of us hide when she was out of control. Being in control would mean the world to her. It would mean she was in charge even when the wolf was out. It was something she never thought she was going to have. And in the end I thought that was worth a try, even if it didn’t work. - I think it’s worth a shot, Tati. You’ll never know what you’re capable of unless you try, and this is the safest way I can think of attempting it. I’ve seen him shift. If it’s just the two of you, he’ll be safe, and be able to protect anyone else from you if you can’t keep control. Go far enough away and even that won’t be an issue until you’re ready for it to be. It can go slowly, as slowly as you want. I say you set the terms of all of this. Let it be completely in your hands, not anyone else’s call. Tati: *I nodded my head at Spencer’s words. He was right. This had to be on my own terms. I couldn’t do this for anyone else. It was something that I needed to do for me. There was no other way I could think of it. Turning my attention back to Beezer, I nodded my head.* Spencer is absolutely right. This has to be on my terms. We do this as far away from anyone at the treehouse as possible. And it has to be just you and me. Aurora cannot be here, Leah can’t be here. The only time Logan can be around is to do his thing with my shifting. He can’t be there for the training. I won’t think twice about going after him. *I could only bite my lip as I thought about the next part of the request. I wasn’t sure it was something that could be pulled off, but they’d have to figure it out. I couldn’t change my thoughts on Logan right now. Not with what he had said or made me feel. I didn’t trust him. I didn’t want to trust him. And me agreeing to this was more for Spencer and Beezer than it was for Logan and Leah.* There has to be another witch there when he does his thing. I don’t trust him to do something more. I don’t care if you don’t think he will, I don’t trust him. He has shown me that he is nothing more than a guy that will do anything in his power to get what he wants. I will let him do his thing, but he has to watched by someone else. That’s my offer. Take it or I leave with Spencer. Mal: -I listened, and heard the demand in her voice. She wasn’t wrong, though. She didn’t know Logan that well. None of us really did except for Leah. That meant I trusted him, just because she did, but it didn’t mean anything for Tati. The only encounter she’d ever had with him had been him telling her to basically shit or get off the pot. Asking for a second opinion was just common sense. And I knew just who needed to be around. I wouldn’t have wanted anyone to be around during the training, and most certainly not Rora. So everything she said was making sense at the moment. Things were falling into place, and if we were careful, they just might turn out the way we wanted- Then we do it your way, Tatiana. No one needs to be around but you and I. I wouldn’t want any of them nearby until we’re certain you can trust yourself. Hell, I’m still nervous about shifting around some of them. Not Rora, because my wolf would die before he let her or the baby be hurt, but other people, yeah. He can have a mind of his own, but he’s usually ok with people he likes. As for another witch… -glancing over at my wife with a soft smile- I think Rora and I know just the person. It shouldn’t be too hard to get her here either. Not if I know her. I wouldn’t be surprised if she knew what was up before we got to her as a matter of fact. So, if you’re game. So am I. All that’s left to do is get our asses back to the Treehouse and get this show back on the road. -I slid my hands in my pockets with a smile. Things had changed quite a bit since we pulled over at the side of the road. The woman who had been terrified to even be around me was now insistent that I be around to make sure everyone else was safe around her, to work with her to make sure she could control her wolf. I knew I was in for a lot of work with her, but if I could save her even a quarter of the heartache I’d been through with everything then it would be worth every moment of it. I could only hope I was up to the job.- #PretendingIDontFeelMisplaced

[do-no-harm-spencer]

With Thoughts Of Failure Sinking In (SL with @InColdDecember, @AWolfAtHeart and @WeGoMissing)

Tatiana: *I didn’t know how to tell Spencer no. That much was obvious. But I knew what was coming. And I wanted to say no. I wanted to tell him that I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t come clean to Leah about what my issue was. I couldn’t explain to her why I was special. It wasn’t something I wanted to do. But there was something about the way he asked. I had to go with him.

Leah had called earlier about another wolf being pregnant. I wasn’t surprised. There had been more than one puppy born there. And Spence was the best option. He was the one that understood everything about the wolves. He understood how shifters carried children. He knew how to calm the pregnant ones from going overboard. But what did surprise me was that Spencer wanted me to go with him. Leah needed to talk to us about something. And I should have been surprised.

From the moment I showed up beside Spencer, Leah hadn’t asked a question. She was completely okay with me not telling her my story. I was sure she knew I was a were, though. You could always sense it. And there were more than enough of them at the treehouse for me to know that I wasn’t alone.

But I was. I was the only one of my kind. There were wolves that turned more because of their temper. There were weres that were solely controlled by the moon. Then there was me. I was something that no one had ever seen before. It was the only reason I knew I could trust Spencer. He had seen me at my worst. He hadn’t tried to make me anything I couldn’t be. He never tried to use me as a weapon. I was just his girl. I was special to him because he loved me.

I loved Spencer. There had never been a doubt in my mind about him. But the truth was that I still didn’t trust anyone that we spent time with. I had heard horror stories of families that trained the males to be nothing but weapons. To be the strongest wolf they could. To eliminate any and all competition. I wasn’t ready for anyone to see me when I shifted.

Other weres could control themselves when they shifted. They could control everything about their shift. I wasn’t that lucky. I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t just be that girl. I couldn’t be that were. It was the only thing in the world I wanted, though. I wanted to be normal. Even in the world of weres, I wanted to be normal. I didn’t want to be who I was. I didn’t want to be this.

Shaking my head, I stood in the kitchen while Spence and Leah finished up examining the pregnant were. Leah’s husband had made himself scarce after I had walked into the room. I wasn’t sure what he knew, but I wasn’t sure I wanted him close. There was something about him that screamed to me. He knew a lot more than he was letting on. I hated when people looked at me like that. I didn’t want anyone to see past the carefully built image I had.*

Spencer:-I knew there was something more to the call than just another pregnancy up at the treehouse. Those were common enough. It hadn’t been the first and it likely wouldn’t be the last, especially now that Leah was back home and had a husband in tow and Beezer had a new wife who would be giving birth before too many more months passed by. Everything was normal, going just as it should, despite Aurora’s obvious nervousness. That wasn’t that strange either. Most women were nervous the first time they had a child. They were nervous the second and third times as well. That wasn’t something that was ever going to change.

I knew when she asked me to bring Tati along that there was more to it than that. She’d asked me to bring her along before, to help her meet everyone here, to get her used to being here and make at least a few friends, though, Tati usually kept to herself. I understood why. She was different. I loved her because of her differences. She was just as terrified that they were going to be used against her somehow. I kept her secrets as closely as I kept any of my own, maybe even more so. I couldn’t hide that she was a shifter, but that wasn’t unusual here.

I could hide the rest, though I couldn’t stop Leah from knowing she was different, even if she couldn’t put her finger on it directly, just as Leah couldn’t stop me from knowing the moment I saw her husband that he was something more than merely human as well. Years of working with those who were different made it easy to see the tells most people overlooked, something about the eyes betrayed witches and wolves every time. Their secrets were safe with me.

I finished washing my hands and turned to Leah in the kitchen, leaning back against the counter with a reassuring smile to Tati as I slipped my now clean and mostly dry hands into my jeans pockets.- The baby is fine, so is the mother. You’re just going to have to do your best at keeping her calm. -laughing softly as I shrug- As difficult as that might be… So, I know there was something else you wanted to talk about, Leah.

-I wasn’t one for beating around the bush, never had been, and I knew she was going to be just as straightforward now that we were done with the preliminaries-

Leah: *I knew everything was going to fine with the baby. How could it not be? I was pretty sure this Colette that Rora and Beez kept talking about would have seen to that. Even Logan would have told me if something was wrong. Doc was just a formality, but one that made me feel better.

Tatiana was something that made me just as nervous. I knew her, but not well. At least not as well as the other wolves that lived here in the house now and in the past. Beyond knowing that she was a wolf like me, I didn’t know much else about her. She kept to herself, and I was certain that she had her own reasons for that.

No two wolves were quite the same. Each of us had our own quirks and peculiarities, our strengths and weaknesses. Beezer was a blackout shifter, he forgot everything that ever happened to him most of the time when he left the wolf to take control. Others could only shift when the moon was full. Still others at will. I was lucky enough to be able to withstand the pull of a full moon when I needed to, as hard as it could be, and just like my human form, my wolf was small, smaller than most, at least. Our quirks were part of what made us ourselves. I never knew what Tatiana’s were. She never ran with the others. She kept to herself. I wasn’t sure if it was because she was naturally a loner or because she felt like she had something to hide.

I was about to ask something of her, I wasn’t sure what she was going to say. I didn’t know her well enough to know her reaction, but I had to ask. I had to ask everyone who could help in our circle because I was going to need everyone I could get my hands on, as much as I hated to.

I kind of wished Logan hadn’t gone upstairs when they arrived. I wanted his hand in mine right now more than I could say, but I could feel his ring on my finger, and the place in my palm where he’d cut, where his blood had mingled with mine, I could always feel something there, even though the cut had long ago healed. It would be enough for now.

I tried to smile at both of them, but I wasn’t sure I could manage to look friendly so I just went for sincere. Fuck knows I was being as sincere as I could.*

I know you both know about the New Orleans pack… Beezer’s family. *I took a long breath in an attempt to settle my nerves, but I wasn’t sure it did much good. I could see Tatiana’s eyes go wide at the mention. She knew them. She wasn’t from Shreveport or even Louisiana, but she was from close enough to have heard of them. It didn’t surprise me. That group were known for several states around for their ruthlessness. It was part of the reason I was going to need everyone on board* I’ve got pretty good reason to believe they’re going to be coming for us, at least for Beezer and Aurora. And I wanted to talk to you… to you both. *I looked over at Tatiana trying to catch her eye* We’re going to need all the help we can get, Tati. I’m sorry, Doc.

*letting out a breath in an exasperated as I gave my hair a tug. I was frustrated, but mostly with myself for not being able to be plain* I hate this. I feel like I’ve put everyone here in danger, but we’ve got to fight.

Tatiana: *I should not have been surprised to hear that Beezer’s family was coming for him and his wife. I didn’t know their story, but I knew about him. Everyone in the surrounding states knew of the St. Pierre pack. They were leathal. They had been even more lethal when Beezer had been with them. But when he and Leah had left them, there was a desperation to hold on to their title as a completely ruthless pack.

I was never in the same room as Beezer, though. The moment he walked in, I walked out. I couldn’t bring myself to be in the same room as him. Not when everything about him scared me. I knew he was the weapon in the St. Pierre pack. He was the one that everyone heard stories about. He was the reason I kept my issues so close to the chest. I couldn’t be used as a weapon like he had been. And in the wrong hands, I was the best weapon that anyone had.

The key was knowing when I was going to shift. I was bigger than most alphas when I shifted. Even as an omega. It was the way I turned that gave me my power. And here was Leah, asking me to be a weapon. She didn’t know what she was asking of me. She didn’t know that I was uncontrollable when I was a wolf. I wasn’t a blackout wolf, but I wished I could be. I didn’t want to remember what happened when I shifted. I didn’t want to remember torturing those that were around me. My words were shaky as I thought about what was coming.* You don’t know what you’re asking, Leah. You don’t know what I am. Yes, I’m a wolf, but you don’t know anything about the type of wolf I am. I understand that you’re protecting your family, but I’m not a weapon to use at your disposal.

Spencer: -I could hear the panic rising in her voice the moment she replied, and she wasn’t wrong. She wasn’t going to be a weapon for anyone to use, but I also knew she didn’t know Leah like I did. There was no one here that was going to force her to be anything she didn’t want to be. She was given the option, but the choice was hers.

I wasn’t sure she was going to be able to hear that right now though. She was terrified, maybe rightly so. The St. Pierre’s were known for cruelty, for tearing any and everything in their path to shreds. It was common knowledge in any pack anywhere close to New Orleans, even those farther away. Leah hadn’t known until she got here. She was from far enough away in Washington State to have grown up far beyond their reach.  But she figured it out soon enough. She and I had had more than a few talks in the past since I’d arrived here, studying the diseases and medical issues that affected shifters. It had only been natural that my research had led me here, a group of shifters living peacefully together in a more or less confined community was the perfect place to do my research, and it was the place where I’d finally met Tatiana.

She’d come to me looking for answers, though in the beginning all we’d found were questions. And in the process we’d found each other. I knew one thing about Tati, she wasn’t going to take this well. I reached out a hand, running a gentle touch along her arm.- She’s not going to be forced into anything. -I glanced over at Leah with a half frown. I knew she didn’t mean it that way but I also knew how easy it could be to forget people in a moment where the stress started to build, when something you loved was in danger. And Leah loved her family, she loved her treehouse, and it would have been quick and simple for her to get lost in that and push too hard.-

Leah: *I wasn’t sure how to reply to Tatiana at first. My hands slid into my pockets as I fidgeted with the loose items in my pockets. I needed a second to process what was going on. I could hear her voice shaking. It was there in more than just her words. I didn’t know how to break this to either of them, but this was something that was going to happen no matter how either of them felt about it. I hated pushing them into anything, but the St. Pierre’s were coming, if Beezer and Aurora’s friend’s streak of being right kept up.

I knew better than anyone except maybe Beez what that was going to be like. Either we were going to win the fight, or we were going to wish we’d died trying. I was going to need all the help I could get my hands on. But pushing her into something that terrified her this much wasn’t something I was going to do.*

Listen, Doc… Tati… *I looked between them and then back down at my hands as I freed them from my pockets* I’m not asking either of you to do anything you’re not willing to do. I can’t. I won’t.

*I took in a deep breath and chanced a glance back up at both of them. I knew Logan was close. I could feel it. I would have liked him closer, but this was something I had to take responsibility for* I just needed you to know. They’re coming, come hell or high water, and I’m not sure how this is all going to end.

*I didn’t know what else to say. I felt like an asshole for even asking them. This wasn’t their fight, and I knew it. I wouldn’t have blamed both of them for turning around and walking out right now. It would have been exactly what I deserved.*

Logan: [Maybe it had been a tad bit stalkerish of me, but I didn’t go far when Doc and Tatiana were here. There was something in Tatiana’s blood that made her different. And the one thing I was learning was that all the wolves were different. But she was a different branch off of that. I could hear the pleading in Leah’s voice, and I knew the look on her face. She was already feeling defeated. I knew my wife well enough to know that her shoulders were slumped forward as she waited for Tatiana to respond.

But I knew what that answer was going to be. Tatiana wasn’t in this family. She was an outsider. But she made herself an outsider. By only trusting the Doc, she kept everyone at arms length from her. She made it so she didn’t have to worry about protecting anyone. She only needed to worry about herself. Yes, she worried about Doc. But he wasn’t a were. He didn’t have the same issues Tatiana had. And whatever her issues were, she was using them to keep herself from moving an inch. Her secret was something she couldn’t hide behind.

I was done with the waiting game, though. Everyone needed to know what was going on. Everyone needed the full story. Taking the last few steps, I released a breath as I walked into the kitchen. Wrapping an arm around Little Wolf, I pulled her back against my chest before kissing the side of her neck. I didn’t let my arm drop as I kept Leah pressed against me.] You’re past the point of protecting yourself, Tatiana. You know of the St. Pierres, you know what they are capable of. This isn’t just about protecting this treehouse. Are my main concerns Leah and Rora? Yes, I won’t deny that. Leah is my wife. I’m going to do everything I can think of to protect her first and foremost. Aurora didn’t do anything to deserve being hunted down by Beezer’s family, but she’s got the bigger problem in that it’s not just his family. Her family has been trying to kill her from the moment she left her pack. And for what? Because she’s different.

You have two options, Tatiana. You fight with Leah and Beezer plus whoever else they can get to fight with them, or you run. And you run hard and far. Because if something happens to anyone, and you’re still in the area, Beezer’s family will come for you. They’ll come for any wolf in the state. And they’ll demand that you bow down to them. Leah’s not asking you to do that. She asking for one fight, not a life of servitude. The question is which are you willing to do?

Tatiana: *I wanted to scream. This wasn’t exactly fair to me. Even with how Logan was putting it, I didn’t have a choice. I didn’t get the option. I was being bullied into all of this. But I could see where his concern was. I understood why this meant so much to him. Leah’s life was on the line. If it had been Spencer’s life, I would have been leading the charge. But that was the issue. This wasn’t Spencer on the line. This wasn’t even my life on the line. I could run. I could pick another state and set up home there. I didn’t have to be in Louisiana. I didn’t have any ties here. Neither did Spencer.

But he wouldn’t run. Not unless I asked him to run. It was on the tip of my tongue, though. I wanted to bail on everything around me. I didn’t want to care about what everyone thought. I wanted to be back on my own. I didn’t have to worry about what people thought. I didn’t have to worry about having a secret to hide. But I did. That was the price I was paying for giving Spencer what he wanted.* You don’t get it, do you? I have never, in my life, had the ability to control when I shift. Leah, you can shift when you want. Beezer is a blackout wolf. Rora is white and can control Beezer’s wolf. But me? I can’t do any of that. I fucking wish I was ruled by the moon. But I’m not. I wish I could shift because my temper. But I’m not.

*My hands were shaking, and I wanted to cry. I didn’t want to be in this. I didn’t want to be here. I wanted to be away from Louisiana. I wanted to pretend that this wasn’t my problem. I wanted to forget that these people even existed.* Do you know what it’s like to shift four times a year? To be ruled by a planet? And even then, I’m ruled by a planet in a specific phase. I get to shift four times a year if I’m lucky. If Mercury goes retrograde, I get to shift. And I am uncontrollable. You want to know why I don’t run with a pack? Because I will absolutely annihilate any pack I run with. Because I’m bigger than any alpha I have ever met. I’m more aggressive than any alpha. Because I can’t just shift whenever my little heart desires. I’m a weapon when a leash is put on me. And you’re asking me to put a collar on and beg for a place to belong.

Spencer: -I was a little shocked she let it all fly like that. I had known Tati for a long time, but I’d never known her to tell anyone other than me about her shifting. It was rare that a wolf’s shifting was involuntary, but it happened. It was even more rare that it wasn’t tied to the moon. It had taken me months of work and research to find evidence of even one other who was controlled by a planet. She wasn’t and never had been in control of her shifting, but it was something she kept hidden from most of the world.

Logan had pushed her to what I could tell was practically the breaking point, and if she hadn’t hit it it was coming. My first instinct was to protect her, but from what I didn’t know. We could go, I would absolutely go with her if that’s what she wanted. We would have to go if things went like they were saying. Logan was right about that.

I saw the way he wrapped his arms around Leah, and I recognized the gesture. It had been one I’d used with Tati a million times. She was in a full on panic. I knew that much, and I also knew it was almost impossible to pull her out of that when she began to spiral into it.-

She’s unpredictable at best, even around herself. She goes pretty damn far from here when she does shift, just to protect all of you. I don’t know what else to tell you, Leah, but I’m with Tatiana, whatever she decides.

Leah: *I was losing hope by the minute, and when Logan walked up behind me and slipped his arms around me, it was the first moment I’d had to stop myself from swirling into a panic. I needed all the help I could get with this situation. I still didn’t know how it was going to turn out, but I knew I was going to go down with Logan at my side if it came to that.

Tatiana was something I hadn’t bargained for. I knew she was a loner, and chose to run on her own, but I never knew why. Until now. Leaning back into my husband with a sigh, I chanced a look up at her, trying to catch Tati’s eyes*

Logan’s not wrong. They’re coming, whatever the hell we do, and I need all the help I can get. I don’t know about the shifting. I don’t know how to help, but I’ll do any damned thing I can to protect this house, and these people and that includes you.

Tati: *I shook my head as soon as Leah said she’d do anything to protect me. The problem was that she couldn’t protect me. Not from shifting, and not from Beezer. Because that was a fear I wasn’t sure I wanted to address right now. I didn’t trust anyone. Spence had some of my trust, but it still wasn’t 100%. I knew he would protect me, but there was something holding me back. Maybe it was the fact that I didn’t trust myself around people. I wasn’t safe around anyone. It was something I knew. It was something I could prevent. And it was something I didn’t want Spencer to have to deal with. He was the only person I hoped didn’t hurt. But I knew if I kept him too close, I wasn’t going to be able to save him from harm. I was going to ruin him in some way.

I hated that I was in the middle of this. Did I want to tell them yes? Sure. I wanted to be able to help. But I hadn’t been able to. I didn’t know how. How was I supposed to bring myself to be in control when I had no control over myself. Sure I could tell Leah and Logan that I’d be on their side.* You don’t get it, do you? You have a twenty one day window where I can shift. Twenty One Days. You need to get lucky and pray that the St. Pierre pack decides to attack in those twenty one days. Then you better pray to fucking God that I don’t turn and kill everyone in a twenty mile radius. This isn’t about me being selfish. This isn’t about me protecting myself. This is probably the most selfless thing I could do in this situation.

Logan: [I felt the fire in my veins as soon as Tatiana said no again. There was more to play at here. She didn’t understand that I could manipulate her shifting. It wasn’t going to be easy, it would take some trial and error, but I could do it. There was no doubt in my mind. And I knew we had a little bit of time to play with it. If she decided she wanted to play with it.] You want to try that again? You may not know, and your Doc may not know, but I can play with your shifting. I can make it so you shift when and if you want. But you didn’t know that because you didn’t bother to ask.

[I could feel the anger starting to go away, but there was more. And I wanted to push Tatiana to her breaking point. I wanted her to know what was going on. I needed all of us to be on the full page. We all needed to know all of the information before any decisions were made.] I’m a warlock, Tatiana. My specialty is blood magic. You think I can’t adjust your shifting? I’ve got Beezer and Aurora protected wherever they decide to go. To the world, they don’t exist and cannot be found. The only reason you know they’re here is because we wanted you to know that bit of information.

[I saw her tremble as I talked about Beezer and it was in that moment I had it figured out. This wasn’t just about her shifting. She was hiding a deeper fear than hurting everyone.] You’re terrified of Beezer. You think that he’s going to use you against his family. You think he’s going to turn you into the wolf that he was raised to be.

Leah: *other than Beezer himself, I of all people knew what his life could have been. I'd been the only one of us there to witness it all. I knew his brothers. I'd seen their faces on so many occasions I wasn't ever going to be able to forget them or his father, Amos. Those eyes were burned into my memory. I'd seen them blazing from the man and the wolf. Across a kitchen table and through the bars of the cage he'd had his sons throw me into.

Beez has been the one to save me, ripping the gate open with bare hands and glowing eyes. It was the reason I owed him my life. They'd planned a lot more for me than just death. I knew that too. It was the reason I'd been trying to leave in the first place. He was a lot more than what he'd been raised to be, and knowing that was all Tatiana thought of him got my hackles up.

I clenched my fists at my sides in an attempt to still the rage I felt rising in my throat, trying not to let it show* Listen, if you think I'd let just any St. Pierre live under my roof after the things that family did to me… *I couldn't stop the shudder that racked through my frame at the memory of the pain that burned into my skin* He's not one of them. He never was. He saved me from them. I'm the reason they want him dead. I owe him this. And more. But you don't know that. Do you?

You've kept to yourself, and I let you. I was fine with that, but it meant you never knew what we are to each other here. I had a family that made me an outcast for being a female. Aurora’s did the same for the color of her fur. And Beezer’s for trying to retain a shred of the humanity his mother had. We're all a lot more like you than you think. And we're here to help each other but you've got to fucking ask for it. Like I am now. I can't make you do anything, I wouldn't even if I could. I'm not a fucking Alpha. I hate the way that word tastes in my mouth. But I'll do what I have to to protect everyone here.

*Unclenching my hand, I threaded my fingers between Logan’s and squeezed his hand, trying to just breathe for the moment and keep myself from snapping*

Tatiana: *I didn’t have anything to say as Leah laid into me. It was still something they weren’t understanding. Yes, they could try to control the shift. But what they were not understanding was that I didn’t know if we could control the temperament I had when I shifted. This wasn’t just about being afraid of Beezer. This was giving Leah, and her family, a chance at survival.

I couldn’t deny that they were going to need help. But the kind of help I could bring wasn’t worth the problems. Was it worth it to try and tame the beast inside? And what if it wasn’t entirely possible? What if I did more harm than good. I could try to explain it more times than I could count. But the truth was that Logan and Leah weren’t going to listen.

I had already pushed a button with her by my irrational fear of Beezer. I didn’t want to be afraid of him. But when you heard the tales your entire life, you tended to stay away rather than to figure them out. Yes, I acknowledged that Leah could be upset with me for not giving Beezer the chance to prove me wrong. However, my fears were my fears for a reason. Even if Beezer was different than the other St Pierres, that didn’t mean I wouldn’t be used as a weapon. And if Logan was able to manipulate my genes, I had a feeling it would fall on Beezer to train me how to use what I was. And I still became a weapon.

My shoulders dropped forward as I let the soft sob slip through my lips. Spencer had warned me about keeping myself at arms length. But he understood why I couldn’t be around them. He understood me better than anyone else in my life. As much as I was afraid of becoming a weapon, I was more terrified of hurting everyone around me. But again, to Leah and Logan, that didn’t matter. I let my eyes catch Spencer’s before I was gone from the treehouse. There was complete heartbreak written on his face, but I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t be around people that didn’t understand that all I wanted to do was protect them.

The moment my feet were on solid ground, I was running. There was no shifting, though. That wouldn’t come for another few weeks. I was glad I wasn’t going to be able to shift. Not with my emotions as high as they were. Not with the fear and anger. Not with the despair. It wouldn’t result in anything good. I’d have more problems on my hand if Mercury was retrograde. It was sheer luck that the treehouse was spared the pain of my wolf as I ran.

I knew I wasn’t going to get far, but I knew the path I was taking. It was the same path I took every time I shifted. It let out in a small clearing that I had made. The trees were being cleared out with each shift. The small area growing bigger with each shift. Collapsing onto one of the fallen trunks, I let myself rest for a little bit. I knew Spencer was going to come looking for me. But this was one time I wasn’t ready to be found. But I needed to make a decision. If I ran farther, would Spencer forgive me, or would he reach his breaking point?

As I gathered my emotions, I shook my head. I could almost feel the decision forming in my head. Spencer was going to throw blame on Leah and Logan for me running. They pushed me to this point. They weren’t listening to me. And the moment I let my guard down, Leah pounced on that weakness. She claimed she wasn’t an alpha. It was a role she wanted nothing to do with. But it was a role she knew how to use. She may not think she was an alpha, but only an alpha would throw their weight around with fear to get what they wanted. It was exactly what she was doing with me. She was taking away my choice even if she thought she was giving me an option. I had said no to helping them because I wasn’t sure if it was a smart move. And when that didn’t work, she threw my fear of Beezer in my face. My mistakes were mine, I could do nothing but own them. Maybe I had made a mistake in not trusting anyone at the treehouse. But I wasn’t someone to be bullied into a fight I wasn’t sure was a good idea for me. It made the decision easier. I couldn’t let them find me. Not until the fight was over. Standing from the trunk, I let out a scream before I was back to running through the woods.*

Spencer: -Before I realized what was really happening, Tati was gone. Out the back door and disappeared into the woods without a word, only the sound of her footsteps echoing into almost silence. And I didn’t know when or if she would ever be back. When something scared her, she ran. She always had.

That couldn’t stop the rage that built up inside of me at the two people who stood across from me though. My hands clenched into tight fists at my sides until my knuckles were almost white. They’d pushed too hard, without realizing what it would do or what the consequences might be.- Thanks, a lot… Both of you. -my voice dripping with sarcasm. I wasn’t going to provoke either of them into an argument. I knew more than anyone what a pissed off wolf was capable of. But I wasn’t going to walk away without them understanding my feelings on the matter either.- She may never come back. I hope you’re both happy. Best of luck with your upcoming battle. I’m going to have to start looking for her so they don’t find her before I do… -mentally calculating the time until she would shift again. Two weeks… She would lose control in two weeks time. If they caught and caged her before that time, I was going to be useless to stop them from using her against everyone, including herself.-

Leah: *The minute Tatiana turned heel and ran, my heart sank into my stomach. This was my fault, no matter what else had happened. I pushed her too hard, and as much as I liked to think I wasn’t like the Alphas I’d been under in the past, when it came down to something that was mean to protect my family, I could be just as much of a bully without even meaning to. And I’d done it again.

I was already hating myself, and it was just going to get worse.* Can we help you find her? It’s going to be a lot easier for one of us to track her than you. *It was all I knew to offer, and he was free to turn down the offer. In fact, I was pretty certain he was going to.* I mean I know I’m the last person she wants to see, but we have others here. Aurora, Beezer… They can help. *I chanced a glance up from the floor to his eyes with a hopeful glance.*

Logan: [I wanted to strike out at the good doctor. He couldn’t exactly place the blame on Leah. I knew she was going to beat herself up about this. But him and Tatiana were just as much to blame. They hid the truth about her. They shrugged off everyone else’s help. But I could understand his fear. I understood why he wanted to find her before the St. Pierres found her. Because Tatiana had been right. She was a weapon, and probably a deadly one in the wrong hands. Tightening my arm around Leah’s waist, I pulled her closer to me. I knew she was going to blame all of this on herself the moment Tatiana was gone. It was who Leah was. It didn’t matter if it wasn’t her fault. It didn’t matter if she was doing something to protect her family. She hurt when those around her hurt.

I knew Leah wanted to lead the hunt for Tatiana. But the truth was that there was too much going on for us to look for her. Because I was the outsider, I knew what was important to work on and what we could push to other people. This wasn’t something Leah could focus on.] Rora and Beezer are going to be the best bet in finding her. Rora knows the woods just out of reach of the treehouse better than almost anyone. She had to survive on her own in them. And Beezer won’t let her out of his sight. Not while she’s pregnant. Tatiana may be afraid of him, but she’ll have to deal with that.

[Turning my attention to my wife, I knew what I was going to find. Her posture was slumped forward. She was defeated. And it wasn’t fair to her. I knew what was going through her head. My voice was soft as I leaned down to press soft kisses to her shoulder. I needed her to know that this was okay. Protecting her family was okay.] You didn’t know what her limits were. You did what you needed to do. This is not your fault. Rora and Beezer will find her. You and I need to focus on getting everything around here repaired. I can’t fix the wards on my own. I know you have some witches in your pocket.

Leah: *I knew my husband was telling me not to blame myself, but I didn’t see anyone else to blame for all of this. And the part that killed me the most was, I wasn’t even going to be able to help make it right. He wasn’t wrong. Beezer and Rora were much more likely to be able to track her down and successfully get her back than I was. She didn’t trust me. That much was crystal clear, but Aurora had a way of garnering trust that I didn’t. She was much more soft spoken than I was most of the time, and a little less blunt until the blunt was needed. I’d always been one to spit out what I was thinking without much of a filter. It was the cause of a lot of fights between my mother and I growing up, and the cause of a lot of the arguments and broken friendships that had ended with me leaving my childhood home in Washington forever.

But it was what it was. And there wasn’t anything I was going to be able to do about it now. Tatiana was gone. I could only hope that I hadn’t screwed all this up beyond repair. The only thing I could do now was stay here and help Logan prepare things here at the treehouse. And he was right. I did know a few witches. At least one in particular that was close enough to help. I turned closer to him, my hair moving to create an almost curtain in front of us as I turned to steal a kiss from his temple* Aimee… *whispering the name of the one person I was certain I could get here to help* She’s born to it, but she hasn’t been trained. She was an orphan. She just knows a little from the practice she’s done since she got here. I hope she’s enough. The others are long gone.

*People tended to come and go around here a lot. This place was a temporary sanctuary for some, a home for others, but it meant that a lot of the people who inhabited the place were a little transitory. They came and went, some came back, some stayed for awhile and were gone for good, never to be heard from again. It had been my life for the time I’d been here. Taking in strays, Beezer had probably been my first, come to think of it. We were in a bit of a lull around here as far as people living in the house went. Aimee had taken up her own part of the place, sort of apart from everyone else while she ran the little bookshop in town that I’d helped her get a job at. It wasn’t much, but it was enough. She was working her way through something. I understood that a lot better than most people would. I’d spent years on the run trying to work my way through a lot of somethings before I settled down here. Even more time working my way through more somethings since then, and then I’d met Logan. He was the thing that made all the somethings make sense.* I’ll go get her as soon as Doc leaves and bring her up to the main house. And I’ll do anything else I can to help you two.

*If that was all I could do, I was going to do it to the best of my ability. I’d protect them all if it meant I had to give up everything else to do it. Everything except Logan. The rest was absolutely less important than the people who lived here, who’d become my de facto family in the time I’d been here*

Spencer: -I didn’t know what else there was to do. It was going to be useless for me to go out looking for Tati. She made sure I didn’t know where to find her when she ran. She said it was for my own safety and I was inclined to trust her. Maybe it was. Maybe it was that she needed a place to feel safe and get away. I knew she never fully trusted anyone. It was the nature of her beast. And I was in love with her. It made up for a multitude of things that were different about the both of us.

I had to accept the help I was offered. I had no other choice, because there was no way I was going to find her on my own.- Fine. I’ll go with those two if they want, but I don’t know how much help I’m going to be.

-I clenched my fists and slid my hands into my pockets out of instinct and frustration about what to do next. I was useless. That much was clear. I wasn’t able to keep Tati from leaving or to even find her now that she was gone- I’m going to go wait outside. I don’t know if those two are going to want to begin now or later, but I need some fresh air. If you’ll excuse me.

-walking out of the kitchen without waiting for a reply, I let the door slam closed of its own accord behind me and took a deep breath of the air outside the treehouse. I’d always liked it here. The air was fresh but smelled earthy at the same time, like the soil had imbued it with something I couldn’t put my finger on. But unlike Tati and the others that was all it held for me. I wasn’t going to be able to scent anything further than a foot from my own face.

I had to live with that and rely on the help I was given from the others here. Pushing my own pride aside was just something I was going to have to learn to do until she was found.-

#WithThoughtsOfFailureSinkingIn

[incolddecember-blog]

With Thoughts Of Failure Sinking In (SL with @DoNoHarm_, @AWolfAtHeart, @WeBothGoMissing)

Tatiana: *I didn’t know how to tell Spencer no. That much was obvious. But I knew what was coming. And I wanted to say no. I wanted to tell him that I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t come clean to Leah about what my issue was. I couldn’t explain to her why I was special. It wasn’t something I wanted to do. But there was something about the way he asked. I had to go with him. Leah had called earlier about another wolf being pregnant. I wasn’t surprised. There had been more than one puppy born there. And Spence was the best option. He was the one that understood everything about the wolves. He understood how shifters carried children. He knew how to calm the pregnant ones from going overboard. But what did surprise me was that Spencer wanted me to go with him. Leah needed to talk to us about something. And I should have been surprised. From the moment I showed up beside Spencer, Leah hadn’t asked a question. She was completely okay with me not telling her my story. I was sure she knew I was a were, though. You could always sense it. And there were more than enough of them at the treehouse for me to know that I wasn’t alone. But I was. I was the only one of my kind. There were wolves that turned more because of their temper. There were weres that were solely controlled by the moon. Then there was me. I was something that no one had ever seen before. It was the only reason I knew I could trust Spencer. He had seen me at my worst. He hadn’t tried to make me anything I couldn’t be. He never tried to use me as a weapon. I was just his girl. I was special to him because he loved me. I loved Spencer. There had never been a doubt in my mind about him. But the truth was that I still didn’t trust anyone that we spent time with. I had heard horror stories of families that trained the males to be nothing but weapons. To be the strongest wolf they could. To eliminate any and all competition. I wasn’t ready for anyone to see me when I shifted. Other weres could control themselves when they shifted. They could control everything about their shift. I wasn’t that lucky. I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t just be that girl. I couldn’t be that were. It was the only thing in the world I wanted, though. I wanted to be normal. Even in the world of weres, I wanted to be normal. I didn’t want to be who I was. I didn’t want to be this. Shaking my head, I stood in the kitchen while Spence and Leah finished up examining the pregnant were. Leah’s husband had made himself scarce after I had walked into the room. I wasn’t sure what he knew, but I wasn’t sure I wanted him close. There was something about him that screamed to me. He knew a lot more than he was letting on. I hated when people looked at me like that. I didn’t want anyone to see past the carefully built image I had.* Spencer:-I knew there was something more to the call than just another pregnancy up at the treehouse. Those were common enough. It hadn’t been the first and it likely wouldn’t be the last, especially now that Leah was back home and had a husband in tow and Beezer had a new wife who would be giving birth before too many more months passed by. Everything was normal, going just as it should, despite Aurora’s obvious nervousness. That wasn’t that strange either. Most women were nervous the first time they had a child. They were nervous the second and third times as well. That wasn’t something that was ever going to change. I knew when she asked me to bring Tati along that there was more to it than that. She’d asked me to bring her along before, to help her meet everyone here, to get her used to being here and make at least a few friends, though, Tati usually kept to herself. I understood why. She was different. I loved her because of her differences. She was just as terrified that they were going to be used against her somehow. I kept her secrets as closely as I kept any of my own, maybe even more so. I couldn’t hide that she was a shifter, but that wasn’t unusual here. I could hide the rest, though I couldn’t stop Leah from knowing she was different, even if she couldn’t put her finger on it directly, just as Leah couldn’t stop me from knowing the moment I saw her husband that he was something more than merely human as well. Years of working with those who were different made it easy to see the tells most people overlooked, something about the eyes betrayed witches and wolves every time. Their secrets were safe with me. I finished washing my hands and turned to Leah in the kitchen, leaning back against the counter with a reassuring smile to Tati as I slipped my now clean and mostly dry hands into my jeans pockets.- The baby is fine, so is the mother. You’re just going to have to do your best at keeping her calm. -laughing softly as I shrug- As difficult as that might be… So, I know there was something else you wanted to talk about, Leah. -I wasn’t one for beating around the bush, never had been, and I knew she was going to be just as straightforward now that we were done with the preliminaries- Leah: *I knew everything was going to fine with the baby. How could it not be? I was pretty sure this Colette that Rora and Beez kept talking about would have seen to that. Even Logan would have told me if something was wrong. Doc was just a formality, but one that made me feel better. Tatiana was something that made me just as nervous. I knew her, but not well. At least not as well as the other wolves that lived here in the house now and in the past. Beyond knowing that she was a wolf like me, I didn’t know much else about her. She kept to herself, and I was certain that she had her own reasons for that. No two wolves were quite the same. Each of us had our own quirks and peculiarities, our strengths and weaknesses. Beezer was a blackout shifter, he forgot everything that ever happened to him most of the time when he left the wolf to take control. Others could only shift when the moon was full. Still others at will. I was lucky enough to be able to withstand the pull of a full moon when I needed to, as hard as it could be, and just like my human form, my wolf was small, smaller than most, at least. Our quirks were part of what made us ourselves. I never knew what Tatiana’s were. She never ran with the others. She kept to herself. I wasn’t sure if it was because she was naturally a loner or because she felt like she had something to hide. I was about to ask something of her, I wasn’t sure what she was going to say. I didn’t know her well enough to know her reaction, but I had to ask. I had to ask everyone who could help in our circle because I was going to need everyone I could get my hands on, as much as I hated to. I kind of wished Logan hadn’t gone upstairs when they arrived. I wanted his hand in mine right now more than I could say, but I could feel his ring on my finger, and the place in my palm where he’d cut, where his blood had mingled with mine, I could always feel something there, even though the cut had long ago healed. It would be enough for now. I tried to smile at both of them, but I wasn’t sure I could manage to look friendly so I just went for sincere. Fuck knows I was being as sincere as I could.* I know you both know about the New Orleans pack… Beezer’s family. *I took a long breath in an attempt to settle my nerves, but I wasn’t sure it did much good. I could see Tatiana’s eyes go wide at the mention. She knew them. She wasn’t from Shreveport or even Louisiana, but she was from close enough to have heard of them. It didn’t surprise me. That group were known for several states around for their ruthlessness. It was part of the reason I was going to need everyone on board* I’ve got pretty good reason to believe they’re going to be coming for us, at least for Beezer and Aurora. And I wanted to talk to you… to you both. *I looked over at Tatiana trying to catch her eye* We’re going to need all the help we can get, Tati. I’m sorry, Doc. *letting out a breath in an exasperated as I gave my hair a tug. I was frustrated, but mostly with myself for not being able to be plain* I hate this. I feel like I’ve put everyone here in danger, but we’ve got to fight. Tatiana: *I should not have been surprised to hear that Beezer’s family was coming for him and his wife. I didn’t know their story, but I knew about him. Everyone in the surrounding states knew of the St. Pierre pack. They were leathal. They had been even more lethal when Beezer had been with them. But when he and Leah had left them, there was a desperation to hold on to their title as a completely ruthless pack. I was never in the same room as Beezer, though. The moment he walked in, I walked out. I couldn’t bring myself to be in the same room as him. Not when everything about him scared me. I knew he was the weapon in the St. Pierre pack. He was the one that everyone heard stories about. He was the reason I kept my issues so close to the chest. I couldn’t be used as a weapon like he had been. And in the wrong hands, I was the best weapon that anyone had. The key was knowing when I was going to shift. I was bigger than most alphas when I shifted. Even as an omega. It was the way I turned that gave me my power. And here was Leah, asking me to be a weapon. She didn’t know what she was asking of me. She didn’t know that I was uncontrollable when I was a wolf. I wasn’t a blackout wolf, but I wished I could be. I didn’t want to remember what happened when I shifted. I didn’t want to remember torturing those that were around me. My words were shaky as I thought about what was coming.* You don’t know what you’re asking, Leah. You don’t know what I am. Yes, I’m a wolf, but you don’t know anything about the type of wolf I am. I understand that you’re protecting your family, but I’m not a weapon to use at your disposal. Spencer: -I could hear the panic rising in her voice the moment she replied, and she wasn’t wrong. She wasn’t going to be a weapon for anyone to use, but I also knew she didn’t know Leah like I did. There was no one here that was going to force her to be anything she didn’t want to be. She was given the option, but the choice was hers. I wasn’t sure she was going to be able to hear that right now though. She was terrified, maybe rightly so. The St. Pierre’s were known for cruelty, for tearing any and everything in their path to shreds. It was common knowledge in any pack anywhere close to New Orleans, even those farther away. Leah hadn’t known until she got here. She was from far enough away in Washington State to have grown up far beyond their reach. But she figured it out soon enough. She and I had had more than a few talks in the past since I’d arrived here, studying the diseases and medical issues that affected shifters. It had only been natural that my research had led me here, a group of shifters living peacefully together in a more or less confined community was the perfect place to do my research, and it was the place where I’d finally met Tatiana. She’d come to me looking for answers, though in the beginning all we’d found were questions. And in the process we’d found each other. I knew one thing about Tati, she wasn’t going to take this well. I reached out a hand, running a gentle touch along her arm.- She’s not going to be forced into anything. -I glanced over at Leah with a half frown. I knew she didn’t mean it that way but I also knew how easy it could be to forget people in a moment where the stress started to build, when something you loved was in danger. And Leah loved her family, she loved her treehouse, and it would have been quick and simple for her to get lost in that and push too hard.- Leah: *I wasn’t sure how to reply to Tatiana at first. My hands slid into my pockets as I fidgeted with the loose items in my pockets. I needed a second to process what was going on. I could hear her voice shaking. It was there in more than just her words. I didn’t know how to break this to either of them, but this was something that was going to happen no matter how either of them felt about it. I hated pushing them into anything, but the St. Pierre’s were coming, if Beezer and Aurora’s friend’s streak of being right kept up. I knew better than anyone except maybe Beez what that was going to be like. Either we were going to win the fight, or we were going to wish we’d died trying. I was going to need all the help I could get my hands on. But pushing her into something that terrified her this much wasn’t something I was going to do.* Listen, Doc… Tati… *I looked between them and then back down at my hands as I freed them from my pockets* I’m not asking either of you to do anything you’re not willing to do. I can’t. I won’t. *I took in a deep breath and chanced a glance back up at both of them. I knew Logan was close. I could feel it. I would have liked him closer, but this was something I had to take responsibility for* I just needed you to know. They’re coming, come hell or high water, and I’m not sure how this is all going to end. *I didn’t know what else to say. I felt like an asshole for even asking them. This wasn’t their fight, and I knew it. I wouldn’t have blamed both of them for turning around and walking out right now. It would have been exactly what I deserved.* Logan: [Maybe it had been a tad bit stalkerish of me, but I didn’t go far when Doc and Tatiana were here. There was something in Tatiana’s blood that made her different. And the one thing I was learning was that all the wolves were different. But she was a different branch off of that. I could hear the pleading in Leah’s voice, and I knew the look on her face. She was already feeling defeated. I knew my wife well enough to know that her shoulders were slumped forward as she waited for Tatiana to respond. But I knew what that answer was going to be. Tatiana wasn’t in this family. She was an outsider. But she made herself an outsider. By only trusting the Doc, she kept everyone at arms length from her. She made it so she didn’t have to worry about protecting anyone. She only needed to worry about herself. Yes, she worried about Doc. But he wasn’t a were. He didn’t have the same issues Tatiana had. And whatever her issues were, she was using them to keep herself from moving an inch. Her secret was something she couldn’t hide behind. I was done with the waiting game, though. Everyone needed to know what was going on. Everyone needed the full story. Taking the last few steps, I released a breath as I walked into the kitchen. Wrapping an arm around Little Wolf, I pulled her back against my chest before kissing the side of her neck. I didn’t let my arm drop as I kept Leah pressed against me.] You’re past the point of protecting yourself, Tatiana. You know of the St. Pierres, you know what they are capable of. This isn’t just about protecting this treehouse. Are my main concerns Leah and Rora? Yes, I won’t deny that. Leah is my wife. I’m going to do everything I can think of to protect her first and foremost. Aurora didn’t do anything to deserve being hunted down by Beezer’s family, but she’s got the bigger problem in that it’s not just his family. Her family has been trying to kill her from the moment she left her pack. And for what? Because she’s different. You have two options, Tatiana. You fight with Leah and Beezer plus whoever else they can get to fight with them, or you run. And you run hard and far. Because if something happens to anyone, and you’re still in the area, Beezer’s family will come for you. They’ll come for any wolf in the state. And they’ll demand that you bow down to them. Leah’s not asking you to do that. She asking for one fight, not a life of servitude. The question is which are you willing to do? Tatiana: *I wanted to scream. This wasn’t exactly fair to me. Even with how Logan was putting it, I didn’t have a choice. I didn’t get the option. I was being bullied into all of this. But I could see where his concern was. I understood why this meant so much to him. Leah’s life was on the line. If it had been Spencer’s life, I would have been leading the charge. But that was the issue. This wasn’t Spencer on the line. This wasn’t even my life on the line. I could run. I could pick another state and set up home there. I didn’t have to be in Louisiana. I didn’t have any ties here. Neither did Spencer. But he wouldn’t run. Not unless I asked him to run. It was on the tip of my tongue, though. I wanted to bail on everything around me. I didn’t want to care about what everyone thought. I wanted to be back on my own. I didn’t have to worry about what people thought. I didn’t have to worry about having a secret to hide. But I did. That was the price I was paying for giving Spencer what he wanted.* You don’t get it, do you? I have never, in my life, had the ability to control when I shift. Leah, you can shift when you want. Beezer is a blackout wolf. Rora is white and can control Beezer’s wolf. But me? I can’t do any of that. I fucking wish I was ruled by the moon. But I’m not. I wish I could shift because my temper. But I’m not. *My hands were shaking, and I wanted to cry. I didn’t want to be in this. I didn’t want to be here. I wanted to be away from Louisiana. I wanted to pretend that this wasn’t my problem. I wanted to forget that these people even existed.* Do you know what it’s like to shift four times a year? To be ruled by a planet? And even then, I’m ruled by a planet in a specific phase. I get to shift four times a year if I’m lucky. If Mercury goes retrograde, I get to shift. And I am uncontrollable. You want to know why I don’t run with a pack? Because I will absolutely annihilate any pack I run with. Because I’m bigger than any alpha I have ever met. I’m more aggressive than any alpha. Because I can’t just shift whenever my little heart desires. I’m a weapon when a leash is put on me. And you’re asking me to put a collar on and beg for a place to belong. Spencer: -I was a little shocked she let it all fly like that. I had known Tati for a long time, but I’d never known her to tell anyone other than me about her shifting. It was rare that a wolf’s shifting was involuntary, but it happened. It was even more rare that it wasn’t tied to the moon. It had taken me months of work and research to find evidence of even one other who was controlled by a planet. She wasn’t and never had been in control of her shifting, but it was something she kept hidden from most of the world. Logan had pushed her to what I could tell was practically the breaking point, and if she hadn’t hit it it was coming. My first instinct was to protect her, but from what I didn’t know. We could go, I would absolutely go with her if that’s what she wanted. We would have to go if things went like they were saying. Logan was right about that. I saw the way he wrapped his arms around Leah, and I recognized the gesture. It had been one I’d used with Tati a million times. She was in a full on panic. I knew that much, and I also knew it was almost impossible to pull her out of that when she began to spiral into it.- She’s unpredictable at best, even around herself. She goes pretty damn far from here when she does shift, just to protect all of you. I don’t know what else to tell you, Leah, but I’m with Tatiana, whatever she decides. Leah: *I was losing hope by the minute, and when Logan walked up behind me and slipped his arms around me, it was the first moment I’d had to stop myself from swirling into a panic. I needed all the help I could get with this situation. I still didn’t know how it was going to turn out, but I knew I was going to go down with Logan at my side if it came to that. Tatiana was something I hadn’t bargained for. I knew she was a loner, and chose to run on her own, but I never knew why. Until now. Leaning back into my husband with a sigh, I chanced a look up at her, trying to catch Tati’s eyes* Logan’s not wrong. They’re coming, whatever the hell we do, and I need all the help I can get. I don’t know about the shifting. I don’t know how to help, but I’ll do any damned thing I can to protect this house, and these people and that includes you. Tati: *I shook my head as soon as Leah said she’d do anything to protect me. The problem was that she couldn’t protect me. Not from shifting, and not from Beezer. Because that was a fear I wasn’t sure I wanted to address right now. I didn’t trust anyone. Spence had some of my trust, but it still wasn’t 100%. I knew he would protect me, but there was something holding me back. Maybe it was the fact that I didn’t trust myself around people. I wasn’t safe around anyone. It was something I knew. It was something I could prevent. And it was something I didn’t want Spencer to have to deal with. He was the only person I hoped didn’t hurt. But I knew if I kept him too close, I wasn’t going to be able to save him from harm. I was going to ruin him in some way. I hated that I was in the middle of this. Did I want to tell them yes? Sure. I wanted to be able to help. But I hadn’t been able to. I didn’t know how. How was I supposed to bring myself to be in control when I had no control over myself. Sure I could tell Leah and Logan that I’d be on their side.* You don’t get it, do you? You have a twenty one day window where I can shift. Twenty One Days. You need to get lucky and pray that the St. Pierre pack decides to attack in those twenty one days. Then you better pray to fucking God that I don’t turn and kill everyone in a twenty mile radius. This isn’t about me being selfish. This isn’t about me protecting myself. This is probably the most selfless thing I could do in this situation. Logan: [I felt the fire in my veins as soon as Tatiana said no again. There was more to play at here. She didn’t understand that I could manipulate her shifting. It wasn’t going to be easy, it would take some trial and error, but I could do it. There was no doubt in my mind. And I knew we had a little bit of time to play with it. If she decided she wanted to play with it.] You want to try that again? You may not know, and your Doc may not know, but I can play with your shifting. I can make it so you shift when and if you want. But you didn’t know that because you didn’t bother to ask. [I could feel the anger starting to go away, but there was more. And I wanted to push Tatiana to her breaking point. I wanted her to know what was going on. I needed all of us to be on the full page. We all needed to know all of the information before any decisions were made.] I’m a warlock, Tatiana. My specialty is blood magic. You think I can’t adjust your shifting? I’ve got Beezer and Aurora protected wherever they decide to go. To the world, they don’t exist and cannot be found. The only reason you know they’re here is because we wanted you to know that bit of information. [I saw her tremble as I talked about Beezer and it was in that moment I had it figured out. This wasn’t just about her shifting. She was hiding a deeper fear than hurting everyone.] You’re terrified of Beezer. You think that he’s going to use you against his family. You think he’s going to turn you into the wolf that he was raised to be. Leah: *other than Beezer himself, I of all people knew what his life could have been. I'd been the only one of us there to witness it all. I knew his brothers. I'd seen their faces on so many occasions I wasn't ever going to be able to forget them or his father, Amos. Those eyes were burned into my memory. I'd seen them blazing from the man and the wolf. Across a kitchen table and through the bars of the cage he'd had his sons throw me into. Beez has been the one to save me, ripping the gate open with bare hands and glowing eyes. It was the reason I owed him my life. They'd planned a lot more for me than just death. I knew that too. It was the reason I'd been trying to leave in the first place. He was a lot more than what he'd been raised to be, and knowing that was all Tatiana thought of him got my hackles up. I clenched my fists at my sides in an attempt to still the rage I felt rising in my throat, trying not to let it show* Listen, if you think I'd let just any St. Pierre live under my roof after the things that family did to me… *I couldn't stop the shudder that racked through my frame at the memory of the pain that burned into my skin* He's not one of them. He never was. He saved me from them. I'm the reason they want him dead. I owe him this. And more. But you don't know that. Do you? You've kept to yourself, and I let you. I was fine with that, but it meant you never knew what we are to each other here. I had a family that made me an outcast for being a female. Aurora’s did the same for the color of her fur. And Beezer’s for trying to retain a shred of the humanity his mother had. We're all a lot more like you than you think. And we're here to help each other but you've got to fucking ask for it. Like I am now. I can't make you do anything, I wouldn't even if I could. I'm not a fucking Alpha. I hate the way that word tastes in my mouth. But I'll do what I have to to protect everyone here. *Unclenching my hand, I threaded my fingers between Logan’s and squeezed his hand, trying to just breathe for the moment and keep myself from snapping* Tatiana: *I didn’t have anything to say as Leah laid into me. It was still something they weren’t understanding. Yes, they could try to control the shift. But what they were not understanding was that I didn’t know if we could control the temperament I had when I shifted. This wasn’t just about being afraid of Beezer. This was giving Leah, and her family, a chance at survival. I couldn’t deny that they were going to need help. But the kind of help I could bring wasn’t worth the problems. Was it worth it to try and tame the beast inside? And what if it wasn’t entirely possible? What if I did more harm than good. I could try to explain it more times than I could count. But the truth was that Logan and Leah weren’t going to listen. I had already pushed a button with her by my irrational fear of Beezer. I didn’t want to be afraid of him. But when you heard the tales your entire life, you tended to stay away rather than to figure them out. Yes, I acknowledged that Leah could be upset with me for not giving Beezer the chance to prove me wrong. However, my fears were my fears for a reason. Even if Beezer was different than the other St Pierres, that didn’t mean I wouldn’t be used as a weapon. And if Logan was able to manipulate my genes, I had a feeling it would fall on Beezer to train me how to use what I was. And I still became a weapon. My shoulders dropped forward as I let the soft sob slip through my lips. Spencer had warned me about keeping myself at arms length. But he understood why I couldn’t be around them. He understood me better than anyone else in my life. As much as I was afraid of becoming a weapon, I was more terrified of hurting everyone around me. But again, to Leah and Logan, that didn’t matter. I let my eyes catch Spencer’s before I was gone from the treehouse. There was complete heartbreak written on his face, but I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t be around people that didn’t understand that all I wanted to do was protect them. The moment my feet were on solid ground, I was running. There was no shifting, though. That wouldn’t come for another few weeks. I was glad I wasn’t going to be able to shift. Not with my emotions as high as they were. Not with the fear and anger. Not with the despair. It wouldn’t result in anything good. I’d have more problems on my hand if Mercury was retrograde. It was sheer luck that the treehouse was spared the pain of my wolf as I ran. I knew I wasn’t going to get far, but I knew the path I was taking. It was the same path I took every time I shifted. It let out in a small clearing that I had made. The trees were being cleared out with each shift. The small area growing bigger with each shift. Collapsing onto one of the fallen trunks, I let myself rest for a little bit. I knew Spencer was going to come looking for me. But this was one time I wasn’t ready to be found. But I needed to make a decision. If I ran farther, would Spencer forgive me, or would he reach his breaking point? As I gathered my emotions, I shook my head. I could almost feel the decision forming in my head. Spencer was going to throw blame on Leah and Logan for me running. They pushed me to this point. They weren’t listening to me. And the moment I let my guard down, Leah pounced on that weakness. She claimed she wasn’t an alpha. It was a role she wanted nothing to do with. But it was a role she knew how to use. She may not think she was an alpha, but only an alpha would throw their weight around with fear to get what they wanted. It was exactly what she was doing with me. She was taking away my choice even if she thought she was giving me an option. I had said no to helping them because I wasn’t sure if it was a smart move. And when that didn’t work, she threw my fear of Beezer in my face. My mistakes were mine, I could do nothing but own them. Maybe I had made a mistake in not trusting anyone at the treehouse. But I wasn’t someone to be bullied into a fight I wasn’t sure was a good idea for me. It made the decision easier. I couldn’t let them find me. Not until the fight was over. Standing from the trunk, I let out a scream before I was back to running through the woods.* Spencer: -Before I realized what was really happening, Tati was gone. Out the back door and disappeared into the woods without a word, only the sound of her footsteps echoing into almost silence. And I didn’t know when or if she would ever be back. When something scared her, she ran. She always had. That couldn’t stop the rage that built up inside of me at the two people who stood across from me though. My hands clenched into tight fists at my sides until my knuckles were almost white. They’d pushed too hard, without realizing what it would do or what the consequences might be.- Thanks, a lot… Both of you. -my voice dripping with sarcasm. I wasn’t going to provoke either of them into an argument. I knew more than anyone what a pissed off wolf was capable of. But I wasn’t going to walk away without them understanding my feelings on the matter either.- She may never come back. I hope you’re both happy. Best of luck with your upcoming battle. I’m going to have to start looking for her so they don’t find her before I do… -mentally calculating the time until she would shift again. Two weeks… She would lose control in two weeks time. If they caught and caged her before that time, I was going to be useless to stop them from using her against everyone, including herself.- Leah: *The minute Tatiana turned heel and ran, my heart sank into my stomach. This was my fault, no matter what else had happened. I pushed her too hard, and as much as I liked to think I wasn’t like the Alphas I’d been under in the past, when it came down to something that was mean to protect my family, I could be just as much of a bully without even meaning to. And I’d done it again. I was already hating myself, and it was just going to get worse.* Can we help you find her? It’s going to be a lot easier for one of us to track her than you. *It was all I knew to offer, and he was free to turn down the offer. In fact, I was pretty certain he was going to.* I mean I know I’m the last person she wants to see, but we have others here. Aurora, Beezer… They can help. *I chanced a glance up from the floor to his eyes with a hopeful glance.* Logan: [I wanted to strike out at the good doctor. He couldn’t exactly place the blame on Leah. I knew she was going to beat herself up about this. But him and Tatiana were just as much to blame. They hid the truth about her. They shrugged off everyone else’s help. But I could understand his fear. I understood why he wanted to find her before the St. Pierres found her. Because Tatiana had been right. She was a weapon, and probably a deadly one in the wrong hands. Tightening my arm around Leah’s waist, I pulled her closer to me. I knew she was going to blame all of this on herself the moment Tatiana was gone. It was who Leah was. It didn’t matter if it wasn’t her fault. It didn’t matter if she was doing something to protect her family. She hurt when those around her hurt. I knew Leah wanted to lead the hunt for Tatiana. But the truth was that there was too much going on for us to look for her. Because I was the outsider, I knew what was important to work on and what we could push to other people. This wasn’t something Leah could focus on.] Rora and Beezer are going to be the best bet in finding her. Rora knows the woods just out of reach of the treehouse better than almost anyone. She had to survive on her own in them. And Beezer won’t let her out of his sight. Not while she’s pregnant. Tatiana may be afraid of him, but she’ll have to deal with that. [Turning my attention to my wife, I knew what I was going to find. Her posture was slumped forward. She was defeated. And it wasn’t fair to her. I knew what was going through her head. My voice was soft as I leaned down to press soft kisses to her shoulder. I needed her to know that this was okay. Protecting her family was okay.] You didn’t know what her limits were. You did what you needed to do. This is not your fault. Rora and Beezer will find her. You and I need to focus on getting everything around here repaired. I can’t fix the wards on my own. I know you have some witches in your pocket. Leah: *I knew my husband was telling me not to blame myself, but I didn’t see anyone else to blame for all of this. And the part that killed me the most was, I wasn’t even going to be able to help make it right. He wasn’t wrong. Beezer and Rora were much more likely to be able to track her down and successfully get her back than I was. She didn’t trust me. That much was crystal clear, but Aurora had a way of garnering trust that I didn’t. She was much more soft spoken than I was most of the time, and a little less blunt until the blunt was needed. I’d always been one to spit out what I was thinking without much of a filter. It was the cause of a lot of fights between my mother and I growing up, and the cause of a lot of the arguments and broken friendships that had ended with me leaving my childhood home in Washington forever. But it was what it was. And there wasn’t anything I was going to be able to do about it now. Tatiana was gone. I could only hope that I hadn’t screwed all this up beyond repair. The only thing I could do now was stay here and help Logan prepare things here at the treehouse. And he was right. I did know a few witches. At least one in particular that was close enough to help. I turned closer to him, my hair moving to create an almost curtain in front of us as I turned to steal a kiss from his temple* Aimee… *whispering the name of the one person I was certain I could get here to help* She’s born to it, but she hasn’t been trained. She was an orphan. She just knows a little from the practice she’s done since she got here. I hope she’s enough. The others are long gone. *People tended to come and go around here a lot. This place was a temporary sanctuary for some, a home for others, but it meant that a lot of the people who inhabited the place were a little transitory. They came and went, some came back, some stayed for awhile and were gone for good, never to be heard from again. It had been my life for the time I’d been here. Taking in strays, Beezer had probably been my first, come to think of it. We were in a bit of a lull around here as far as people living in the house went. Aimee had taken up her own part of the place, sort of apart from everyone else while she ran the little bookshop in town that I’d helped her get a job at. It wasn’t much, but it was enough. She was working her way through something. I understood that a lot better than most people would. I’d spent years on the run trying to work my way through a lot of somethings before I settled down here. Even more time working my way through more somethings since then, and then I’d met Logan. He was the thing that made all the somethings make sense.* I’ll go get her as soon as Doc leaves and bring her up to the main house. And I’ll do anything else I can to help you two. *If that was all I could do, I was going to do it to the best of my ability. I’d protect them all if it meant I had to give up everything else to do it. Everything except Logan. The rest was absolutely less important than the people who lived here, who’d become my de facto family in the time I’d been here* Spencer: -I didn’t know what else there was to do. It was going to be useless for me to go out looking for Tati. She made sure I didn’t know where to find her when she ran. She said it was for my own safety and I was inclined to trust her. Maybe it was. Maybe it was that she needed a place to feel safe and get away. I knew she never fully trusted anyone. It was the nature of her beast. And I was in love with her. It made up for a multitude of things that were different about the both of us. I had to accept the help I was offered. I had no other choice, because there was no way I was going to find her on my own.- Fine. I’ll go with those two if they want, but I don’t know how much help I’m going to be. -I clenched my fists and slid my hands into my pockets out of instinct and frustration about what to do next. I was useless. That much was clear. I wasn’t able to keep Tati from leaving or to even find her now that she was gone- I’m going to go wait outside. I don’t know if those two are going to want to begin now or later, but I need some fresh air. If you’ll excuse me. -walking out of the kitchen without waiting for a reply, I let the door slam closed of its own accord behind me and took a deep breath of the air outside the treehouse. I’d always liked it here. The air was fresh but smelled earthy at the same time, like the soil had imbued it with something I couldn’t put my finger on. But unlike Tati and the others that was all it held for me. I wasn’t going to be able to scent anything further than a foot from my own face. I had to live with that and rely on the help I was given from the others here. Pushing my own pride aside was just something I was going to have to learn to do until she was found.- #WithThoughtsOfFailureSinkingIn