#being 15 and only having learnt english for 5 years but understanding a single word mr mikkelsen is muttering? i don't fucking think so

[izzymalec]

biggest mystery about hannibal is how i understood anything when watching it 10 years ago

[kuvvydraws]

I'm not sure if you've answered this question already, but I'm honestly very curious- why do you write fanfiction? I certainly enjoy it as much as you and have written a few things of my own, but I know it can be quite a personal topic for many writers. If it's too personal for you, don't feel any pressure to answer, but it's always interesting to see the writer's perspective outside of the story they've written :). I hope you understand what I'm trying to say-

Hey!

I actually enjoy the words and the rush your brain gets when they join without effort to create a reality.

Now, let me break that down XD

I've always had a book in my hands as far as my memory goes. My dad used to read to me when I was very little and from the second I could do it on my own, that was the best thing ever (yes, that means when I was punished for doing some shit, my books were taken away and I had to sneak them into my schoolbag and read in class like a heathen).

Not only I enjoyed books but I always found myself wanting to partake in the stories, and my brain was always running with the words and the scenes. (I discovered during my teenage years that brains have different ways to process thoughts and mine did it in words, so writing just sort of came naturally to me at that point in my life).

I discovered ffnet when I was 12, I think, but I had tried my hand at original works (that is, about five or six starts of different novels that never saw the light) and some "fanfiction" (about Nightmare Before Christmas because I had a big ass crush on Jack and I unassumingly created my first xReader ever) without knowing what the hell I was doing.

I just knew I wanted to write stuff and I did as much.

The thing is, I introduced one of my friends, who also loved to read and write, to ffnet, and we started writing together. The first thing we wrote was a Sesshomaru x OC fic, the second one was a Sasori x OC fic, and we dipped out toes into some Kuroshitsuji x OC...... all of them handwritten stories we promised we would type in a computer eventually (we didn't, they were horrible [I still have the notebooks we used for each of them and they are cringey as fuck]).

But we wrote for ourselves and we were happy like that.

So we were rampant and wild and having the best time. Back then I still wrote in Spanish (because I hardly knew any English and I didn't care for it), and I remember mixing Spain's Spanish with the ones from South America because obviously the percentage of writers in ffnet who used a different "dialect" Spanish was huge if you compare a single, tiny country with a whole continent.

At the same time I wrote with my friend, I wrote for myself. Naruto, Kuroshitsuji, Bleach, Hetalia.... And I met so many people, nice people, who loved my works (they were random fics, all of them x OC because I didn't know x Reader ones were a thing -they weren't at that time, and x Reader are harder to write in Spanish because all the words and pronouns are gendered one way or another-) and I got so much enjoyment from sharing them.

The thing about books I love the most is the fact that you can convey so many emotions with a few symbols, and you can create worlds out of ink and you can change views and inspire others. So, if none of my dumbass teenage novels were to roam the word, I still could share, in a free, open and fast way, my words with others.

Again, I was going to write them with or without posting them because I found -and still find- great pleasure when a scene creates itself in your brain and all you have to do to make it real is to write it down. (Sometimes my brain still does this and even when I'm daydreaming, my imagination is "written, described and dialogued" as if someone was reading a novel out loud. It makes writing so much easier).

And then I got hate.

I somehow had managed to miss all of the fandom drama that's so toxic in the internet because I didn't bother to interact with anyone in the fandoms beyond the reviews they left in my fics, and ffnet has a -sort of- specific search engine to help you find whatever you want, so I could never willingly find the "problematic stuff" because I was literally not trying to find it.

The hate comment I got was anonymous and very specific about everything that was wrong in a particular fic I had just updated -from plot and characterization to grammar and continuity-, and later on I discovered it came from a couple of authors who shared an account and who I admired greatly for their works. Turns out they were out for blood and hating on every fic that had updated that week and that had any members of their OTP shipped with some other character. (It was a Hetalia fanfic, I was writing SpUK and they were pro FrUk, if anyone is interested).

I was contacted by some other authors asking about this because they had gone through the very same thing -same specific hate, same hate comment- and I remember not giving a fuck.

I was 16 when I got the hate, writing for fun and trying to find a way to go through my shitty highschool days without falling into the black out of depression that haunted me. I remember not wanting to write anything anymore, leaving a fic I was very invested in writing to gather dust and rot in the forgotten folders of my computer because every time I tried to get on with it and progress, it felt wrong.

That thing I said about words just happening? It stopped. My brain was silent as a grave and trying to get my words out became painful. I remember struggling to even write regular project for my school.

I kept reading, of course -it was my only comfort and I really, really didn't want to give up on it-, but I abandoned the fandoms I enjoyed so much before. My new focus became the sci-fi, and I remember being hooked on Predator. Imagine my joy when I discovered there were thousands of works from that fandom! I was extasic.

Problem? They were written in English.

I didn't know shit about English besides being a language I was supposed to handle in school, memorize the unreasonably spelt words that were pronounced illogically regarding the fucking spelling and the stupid ass irregular verbs.

But I learnt English because I wanted a hot piece of alien ass XD

Back to the topic of fanfics, I still roamed ffnet, keeping 15 tabs open and reading until 5 am... But now there was a world of possiblities in front of me because of course everyone on this goddamn Earth writes in English.

So, for the next years I did that, and my words didn't come. It was fine, tho, because I had so many new things to read.

It wasn't until fall of 2018 that I dabbed into the idea of maybe considering to perhaps give writing a try again????? I was neck deep into Undertale -still am, I'm a shameless skeleton fucker and there's no cure for that shit- and its many AU's and somehow I had managed to avoid fandom wars again, so my brain started toying with words... The same way it worked with novels: I got myself into the fics other people wrote (this is so much easier to do with x Reader fics, and I'm so happy about that and the massive boom they had just when Undertale came out, you can't even understand it).

So I kept doing my shit and daydreaming about skeletons and ribs and ecto-stuff for a very long time. It was kinda reassuring and nice to see other writers projecting on their x Readers so much because that's what I had done before.

And then Good Omens happened.

As I've said before, I actually discovered Gomens back in 2012 and it is, to the date, the worst translation to Spanish I've seen in my entire life to this date. And, despite it, I fell in love with it.

Now, barely in 2019, my dad gets Amazon Prime and the first thing he fucking sees is the font of Gomens on the screen. I had fangirled hard about Gomens in book version, so much and so annoyingly that I wouldn't leave my dad alone until he gave it a chance. It's the only book my father hasn't finished because the translation is that bad. He hates it.

Yet.

The particular font they use for the show is the same from the book's title. My dad of course recognized it immediately and knew I would want in on the news.

I confess I watched Gomens the show at least seven times before giving it a break because I liked it so much and the novel was so fucking good and it's honest to God the best adaptation I've ever seen to the screen. It's so good I'm fucking sure I was crying actual tears after watching it for the first time because my dreams and all the feelings that book had given me over the years and the many re-reads were "true" and so well done and it reached deep into my heart.

And then, for the first time in six years, my words came back.

Another thing Good Omens has given me, I have to say.

I don't know if I can stress this enough, but just imagine spending six years of radio silence, sending longing stares to the void and hoping to see something yours returning back, something you've lost and you're not sure you're getting back, something you think you don't need or want but that would be nice to have again. If only. You can live without that something, and no one but you cares about it, and it's not that big of a deal and-

Then you see a spark in the dark.

My words came back.

They weren't in Spanish, and it was hard to manage them at first, only being able to listen to them in short bursts over long periods of time.

But they were my words and they were back.

Writing is still hard, and I have a lot of work to do to improve my skills, to get them not only back but to refine them because I'm not writing in my native language and all I know is what I've learnt from other authors and their knowledge. I project a lot on my projects -I don't intend to stop because it's such a relief, the biggest scape from reality I get by doing so; it helps me deal with my problems, it gives me a break and a way to take a breath when I can't keep going...

Fanfics are where I can say what I want to say to the world in the most honest way, and that allows me to be me, and to express myself and indulge in the fantasies I dream about without having to force myself to think of them over and over and over. I can just sit back and enjoy content I know I like without being judged for it.

I can fucking make that content, too.

Writing feels like home, even if sometimes I still struggle, if I can't find my words or the expression is not quite like that in English, or if I can't find the words or if I'm suffering a block... because there's nothing scarier and more free than a blank page ready to be written.

[jokertrap-ran]

BAD MEDICINE ~Infectious teachers~ [PC GAME] Tojo Kairi (Art) Route Translations (Part 15)

MC’s name is retained as the original MC name Kawana Hina.

* Words within ‘   ‘ are spoken in English – *Spoiler free : Translations under cut!

Prologue / Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4/ Part 5 / Part 6/ Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 / Part 11 / Part 12 / Part 13 / Part 14 / Part 15 / Part 16 / Part 17 / Part 18 / Doll END / Good END / Bad END / True END / Ruin END

Choice A: Learn about the school’s history

Hina: (I face Tojo-sensei's strict teachings everyday after school.)

Hina: (Not only does he tutor me in my studies, he also bestows a variety of knowledge across all fields to me.

Hina: ………...

Hina: (It’s depressing but I have to go.)

Tojo: --So you’re finally here?

Tojo: Come now, take a seat beside me.

Tojo: I'll teach you about St.Christopher's history today.

Hina: I see.

Tojo: Fufu, take a look at this. I've taken out the graduation albums just for today.

Hina: |(Wow. What an amazing amount he has with him!)

Tojo: Let's start with the first album from the very first batch of students we had.

Tojo: Just like I told you the other day, the very first president of this school was also a member of the Tojo family.

Tojo: The date in which the president was appointed is written over here.

Tojo: I remember all the presidents up till now, including the date they took office as well as the very date in which they retired.

Hina: All of them!?

Tojo: Of course, I'll have you remember them all as well.

Hina: All of this? That's rather...Impossible.

Tojo: There will be no such thing. Let’s learn them together, one by one.

Tojo: The first ever president took presidency for 15 years. Starting from the 1st of April till the 26th of July. And the second president...

Tojo: ………...

Tojo: Now that I’ve explained the basis of it all, would you care to tell me when the very first president took office and when it was that he decided to retire from his position of headmaster?

Hina: ...Wha?

Hina: (I didn’t think that he’d shoot me a question out of a sudden…)

Tojo: Fufu. I believe that you should naturally know the answer to this question. For I have just taught you everything so painstakingly.

Hina: (I don’t think I can answer that since I wasn’t consciously trying to remember everything that he just spouted off on…)

Hina: I apologize for I do not know...

Tojo: You don’t…?

Tojo: Not even a single one?

Hina: ...Not even a single one.

Tojo: Unbelievable.

Tojo: You’re telling me that you can't even remember something as simple as this?

Hina: ...I’m sorry...

Tojo: I do ask that you  don’t make a habit of disappointing me like that.

Hina: (What am I doing? I should have been paying close attention to engrave everything to memory!)

Tojo: I should be the one feeling downtrodden about it rather than you though.

Tojo: I see that all you’ve done is to sit there and listen whilst I’ve gone through the effort of painstakingly explaining every minute detail.

Tojo: I was even thinking of praising you if you did answer my question correctly, perhaps with a pat on the head, even.

Tojo: What a pity.

Tojo: Now then, from the top.

Tojo: Please do try to answer the next question.

Hina: I’ll remember it this time.

Tojo: The first president took office from--...

Tojo: ...Fufu, you’re showing quite a nice expression there now that you’re actually concentrating.

Hina: (Well, I wouldn’t be able to answer any of your questions if I didn’t concentrate.)

Tojo: The sight of human ambition is really enthralling to behold.

Tojo: There’s no light to someone who lives monotonously out of habit and that isn’t a beautiful sight in the slightest.

Tojo: Your eyes are like burning twin coals right now, almost as if you’re escaping from something that’s chasing you with all your might. Haa...That’s really beautiful!

Tojo: You should have learnt quite a bit about our school’s history by now, yes?

Hina: Yes.

Tojo: Don’t throw everything to the wind just because you’ve got it down now.

Tojo: Who knows, I might spring another test on you on a whim.

Tojo: Now then, onto the next topic.

Tojo: I still have a feeling that you’ve not gotten a firm grasp about our school rules. How about we go through it together and check on your understanding?

Hina: That’s...

Tojo: If you’re so adamant about it then how about you try reciting all of the school rules to me right now?

Hina: {I’ve been bringing the student handbook around together with me as much as possible ever since I got roped into special guidance back then.)

Hina: (And since all the school rules are written inside the student handbook…)

Tojo: Hold up. You’re prohibited from looking at the student handbook for answers.

Hina: What? Why?

Tojo: Fufu...That’s simple. You shouldn’t be needing the student handbook if you’ve memorized them all by heart.

Tojo: It doesn’t matter how many school rules there are. They're ultimately rules that cannot be broken no matter what, so isn't it a given that you'd memorize them?

Hina: ………...

Tojo: Oh? Seems like the cat got your tongue.

Tojo: Could it be that you don't know what you shouldn't be doing if you don't cross-check it with the student handbook.

Tojo: That's a big problem.

Tojo: If that how it is, then, wouldn't you be unknowingly violating the school rules?

Hina: Of course not!

Tojo: I'd be worried even if you trust to deny it.

Hina: …...

Hina: (Oh no...I'll only disappoint him at this rate!)

Hina: (I can't meet his expectations…)

Tojo: Did that make you feel uneasy? But the fact that you feel uneasy about this whole thing only proves that you're aware of it, at least.

Tojo: Your hand seems to be shaking.

Tojo: I wonder if it'll stop if I wrap them in my own, like this?

Hina: ……!

Tojo: I'll return back to the topic of manners so please do keep in mind the fact that you're supposed to prevent your mind from wandering.

Tojo: I do think that you're pretty adorable now, akin to a small animal, but...

Tojo: You look much more beautiful when you're calm and composed. I guess that's a human aspect of yours, one that draws people in.

Tojo: You’ll be alright. I’m sure that you’ll be able to pull it off.

Tojo: I’m here for you too, see?

Hina: R-Right.

Tojo: Oh yes, how about we fix that sitting posture of yours now that we’re at it?

Tojo: Your back’s a little curved. I’ll hold down your shoulders for you so this is how  they should be...

Tojo: Pull your jaw back slightly, have confidence and puff out your chest a little.

Hina: Like this?

Tojo: Yes, that’s brilliant.

Tojo: You should rest your hands on your knees while you’re sitting down.

Tojo: Just doing this alone will make you look more imposing and elegant.

Tojo: You have to pay close attention to everything, from your toes all the way to your fingertips itself.

Tojo: It’s always good to think of yourself as a work of art and be aware of all the eyes that may fall on you.

Tojo: In fact, you’re going to be in the center of everyone’s attention from now on.

Tojo: I’m sure that everyone’s breath will be stolen the moment they lay eyes on you, unable to tear their gaze away.

Tojo: Fufu...I really can’t wait for the time that happens.

Tojo: Let’s put some practice into your walk too. Please stand.

Hina: Right.

Tojo: The basics are exactly the same as what I taught you earlier about how you should sit properly.

Tojo: People who can walk right are attractive and will make to be a beautiful picture to the eyes.

Tojo: Place more strength into your lower abdomen and level your gaze.

Tojo: Please watch out not to stiffen your upper body by putting too much strength into it.

Tojo: Please visualize a straight line in front of you and try walking along it.

Hina: (Walking along a imaginary straight line…)

Tojo: Your body’s core seems to be a little off.

Tojo: Here, I’ll support your lower back so give it another try.

Hina: …...

Tojo: That was a great attempt. Have you gotten a feel of it yet?

Hina: Somewhat, I guess.

Tojo: You’ll gradually get used to it eventually if you continue watching where you step on a daily basis.

Hina: Right, I’ll keep that in mind when walking.

Tojo: Fufu, I can’t imagine how you’d be in the future. I look forward to it.

Tojo: I don’t intend to pressure you. I’ll train you perfectly, using all the time you require to adapt.

Tojo: It’s about time to wrap up.

Tojo: I can’t have you staying past the school dismissal time because of my lessons so how about we end off here for the day?

Hina: ...Of course.

Tojo: I’ll lock up the library so you can just pack up and leave first.

Hina: I’ll be taking my leave first then. Goodbye, Tojo-sensei.

Tojo: Goodbye, Kawana-san. Fufu...See you tomorrow.

Hina: ………...

Hina: (...I…)

Hina: (It’s almost as if I’m being controlled by him.)

Hina: (I can only comply to him...I can’t go against his words.)

Hina: (How long will this continue…?)

Hina: What should I do now?

Choice A: Learn about the school’s history Choice B: Go submit your reply

[lubdubsworld]

Amor Vincit Omnia

Pairing :  Yoongi/ OC.

Chapter count : 20

Genre : Violence , Romance, Drama ( like a lot of drama)

Warnings : Abuse. Violence.  

Description :  Arranged Marriage Gang! AU . BTS Suga /Min Yoongi and OC . The worst thing you can do to a guy? Marry him when he begs you not to. Worst thing you can do to yourself? Fall in love with him afterwards.

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6

Chapter 7 / Chapter 8 / Chapter 9 / Chapter 10 / Chapter 11 / Chapter 12

Chapter 13 / Chapter 14 / Chapter 15 / Chapter 16 / Chapter 17

Chapter 18 / Chapter 19 / Chapter 20

Chapter 1

~~One~~

In life, I never got second chances. If the first time didn't work out, I wasn't given a second time to try to improve. Instead I would be hit , tossed into the basement and denied food for three days, till I agreed to never ask for anything ever again. Till I promised to never try to embarrass my father like that again.

It happened after my debutante ball when I accidently addressed someone wrong.

It happened after my graduation, when i didn't make valedictorian.

Afterwards, when I stayed at home, waiting for my parents to send me to college, it happened everyday till I just stopped asking or trying or...just living.

I would wake up, eat my breakfast and set out to explore the woods that surrounded our estate in Busan. I had till twelve in the morning when my mom would wake up, to indulge in all my fantasies , live a make-believe life in which I was loved by a handsome young man who adored me and spoiled me to distraction.

After lunch, I stayed perfectly still while my mom taught me everything I needed to know to be the perfect society wife. I learnt pottery, needlework and hosting. I learned table placements and ranks, learnt complicated waltzes and learned to wear my waist length hair in three dozen different ways. I learned to wear make up in a way that made my eyes look bigger, brighter. I learned how to smile in just the perfect way. How to apply lipstick in a way that would drive any man mad with desire ( Or so my mom told me.)

I learned exotic dishes from around the world. I learned to speak English and French. I learned everything that would turn me into the perfect princess for my Prince Charming.

I also learned to swallow all the screams that threatened to bubble up inside me.

In the evenings I tried to disappear into the upholstery. My father was a psychopath. One wrong word and he would grab me by the roots of my hair and drag me to the out of the room and toss me into the basement. Or worse, he's take a belt to my calves or my thighs ( Never my arms or face ). I learned to literally stop breathing when my father was in the vicinity. But then, how did I not go to pieces, you may wonder.

Well, you see I knew that it was temporary.

When I turned twenty one my parents would have to marry me off. In our society when a girl reaches twenty one, if she stays unmarried it's a sign of ill breeding. My parents would be disgraced if I wasn't married off. It was my get out of jail card, marriage. I knew that every day I got closer to my marriage. When I would officially be out of my father's protection. It would mean escape.

But what was I escaping into?

I never considered.

I always thought it would be paradise.

My prince charming would be everything I had ever dreamed of.

I believed it completely.

Until the day I actually met him.

Min Yoongi was no Prince Charming.

He was the devil in the flesh.

~~~~

"You!! Fix your hair!" My father barked so loudly , I jumped. Bowing quickly and quietly and I rose up and disappeared into the restroom on the left wing of the lobby we were waiting in. I found the mirror and swallowed drily. Three simple curls had come undone from my elaborate up do . My father was a stickler for perfection which would explain my outfit. A pale pink georgette dress that fit me to perfection. Paired with pumps of the exact same shade , the dress made me look a little tall. I was rather woefully short and my father was forever cursing my lack of height.

I quickly fixed my hair and glanced at the expensive diamond studded Cartier on my wrist. It was a little past six thirty in the evening. We weren't due to meet Min Yoongi , the young CEO of Bangtan Inc., for at least half an hour. I fidgeted a bit and reapplied my lipstick.

I'd spent three hours for make up and four hours getting ready. Literally every single feature on my face had been emphasized and perfected till I practically glowed. I had gone over a billion hair-styles to pick the perfect one. It would help highlight my slim figure and also the pretty pink and grey make-up on my eyes. I tried not to tremble as I stepped out of the room and walked back to the lounge.

I couldn't screw this up. Min Yoongi had  to like me. Or else my father would kill me. He would literally strangle me. Trying not to think about that, I sat down demurely in front of my father who gave me another look of impatience.

"Yoongi called me. He wants to meet you alone. Apparently he thinks you can actually have some sort of a useful opinion which, really doesn't make any sense to me. anyway, go meet him and you better keep your mouth shut, girl. Agree to everything he says and tell him you'll be an obedient wife." He growled at me.

As if I wouldn't.

As if I would actually risk spending the rest of my life in hell.

I followed a suited man who looked less like an assistant and more like a hired mercenary. My hells made no noise on the plush grey velvet beneath my feet as he led me down a few flights of corridors before stopping in front of a oak-paneled door in the middle of a dimly lit corridor. I took a deep breath and when the mad held the door open, I stepped in. My heart began pounding steadily as I noticed the figure leaning casually against the heavy desk at the center of the room. The room was dimly lit and I couldn't make out his face. On the contrary, a light hung directly ahead of me, throwing my face into sharp relief against the darkness.

"You look younger than twenty one."

His voice surprised me. It wasn't that of a twenty six year old. It sounded strong and masculine with a hint of Daegu accent. I felt a sudden dryness in my throat.

"I'm...I'm twenty one." I said carefully. I couldn't screw this up. I couldn't screw this up.

He stayed silent for a few more seconds and then the room flooded with light. I blinked to adjust to the brightness and then almost fainted.

Min Yoongi was a work of art.

His hair was a blinding shade of blonde and his skin so pale he looked almost bloodless. His lips were pink, perfect against his bright black eyes and he had a smile that made my knees go weak. I'd never seen a more handsome man in my life and I was starstruck. He was dressed in a perfectly tailored black suit, with a pale blue tie and shoes that practically shined. He wasn't abnormally tall. His shoulders were broad and strong, his body tapering into a slim waist and nice long legs.

Suddenly , I didn't feel so beautiful anymore.

"Let's make this quick. " He said briskly before turning around and moving to sit behind the desk. I stood still, not sure what to do. There was a chair in front of the desk but I didn't want to offend him by sitting down before he offered it to me.

He gave me an impatient look.

"Well, sit down fast , will you?" He snapped.

I scrambled to obey,  hitting my knee against the desk. I swallowed the cry of pain and bit my lip in mortification when he gave me an amused smile.

"Anyways....what i wanted to say was, I would like for you to release me from this engagement." He said casually. I felt my breath leave my body in a single second.

"I...what? Why?" I blinked in confusion. There was a roaring sound inside my head. What did I do wrong??!!

"I'm in love with someone else." He said almost apologetically.

Oh.

Oh, God.

I stared sightlessly as he explained how he was in love with a childhood friend. He wanted to marry her when he was ready, maybe in a couple of years. His parents however were adamant about him marrying me, so he'd agreed to meet me. He couldn't openly defy his parents , so he hoped that I would do him the favor of saying that I wasn't interested.

I almost started laughing.

If I told my father what he asked me to say, I would be flayed alive. My father would shoot me dead.

I hesitated and then slowly stood.

"I'm sorry you don't want to marry me." I said softly. He gave me a sympathetic smile and held a hand out for me to shake.

"Thank you for understanding, Ji Soo ssi..." He began but I held a hand up.

"I'm sorry....because I want to marry you." I said firmly. I felt his eyes widen in shock and I felt like the worst human being on the planet. He loved someone else. He wanted to marry someone else. What the hell was I doing??! Then I thought of my father. Of the years of being bruised and battered. The years of going without food and light, cowering in the darkness while he raged at me. If I didn't get married my father would kill me. I didn't want to die.

I didn't want to die.

"Ji Soo ssi...I don't think you understand what I'm telling you. I'm in love with Hye Mi. That's her name. She's the same age as you. she loves art and she's just in her second year of college. She loves me very much. Please...Please don't destroy our lives." He said, his voice hardening a bit. He looked deadly serious and even a little disappointed. Like he'd thought better of me.

I hesitated. I could imagine the kind of love he shared with this girl, this Hye Mi. Some sweet and serious romance with lots of love and happiness. The kind I'd only ever dreamed of. Funny, how in the million different scenarios I'd played in my head , I'd never once considered that my prince would be in love with someone else.  I stared at him now.

He was so beautiful. Like straight out of a fairytale beautiful.

"Like I said, I want to marry you. Nothing else matters to me." I said shakily. He looked stunned.

Disgusted.

"What kind of a bitch are you?" He growled out furiously and I bit my lips.

"You can call me names. You can even hit me. I'm not changing my mind." I said firmly.

He looked at me in disbelief, shaking his head. Like he couldn't believe the nerve of me.

"Get the fuck out of my office."

Shaking, I stepped out of the office. When ?i met my father he beamed and gave me a one armed hug that made me sick to the stomach. I'd done something right as far as he was concerned.

Two weeks later , My father received news from the Min Family that Min Yoongi had agreed to the marriage as well. As I sat across from him while the elders discussed the details of the wedding, he stared straight into my eyes, wrath written large in every feature on his handsome face. He hated me. I could feel the fury radiating from him in waves. He wanted me dead. But i couldn't bring myself to even apologize or tell him the truth. For the first time twenty one years, my parents treated me like a human being. They didn't yell or hit me. They thought I'd done something right. For the first time, I could leave that house and never worry about being thrown into a basement. Or being thrashed by a belt.

Min Yoongi looked dangerous but not violent.

Whatever he may yell or scream at me , I doubted he would hit me.

Finally the date for our marriage was fixed.

In two months we would be wed.

With shaky fingers I signed the prenup and the dowry. He gave me a look of calculating revenge.

"Say your prayers, you little witch. You're in for some serious trouble " He whispered, before stalking out of the room.

On December 7th , we were married in a small private ceremony held in the private ballroom of the Bangtan Hotel. It was attended by just the family and six of his closest friends and business associates. I was told to memorize their names. Kim Namjoon, Kim Seokjin, Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jung Kook.

Because Yoongi was busy with a deal, we wouldn't be leaving on a honeymoon. All my clothes, jewelry and everything else was packed and moved to the huge penthouse on the top floor of Bangtan Inc.,

On the wedding night, I sat on the small uncomfortable couch of the foyer. The penthouse was locked and no one else was there. I was supposed to meet my husband there but he was nowhere to be found. Deep down I knew he wasn't coming. But I couldn't really go back downstairs and tell someone that my husband had abandoned me. So I  stayed sitting there .

After about three hours, my body started going numb. The heat in the building was slowly dying down and I was still dressed in the strapless wedding gown from the evening. I curled into a ball on the small couch, suddenly thankful for my short stature. After a few more minutes I started drifting off to sleep. And then I heard voices.

From inside the penthouse.

Surprised and still a bit groggy, I made my way to the door. I gave it a slight push and to my complete surprise, the door swung open. I had tried openeing it for a long time. Had it been closed on the inside then? If so, who had opened it now?

I followed the voices to the end of the exquisitely decorated living space and stopped short in surprise.

It wasn't just voices.

It was moaning. Panting.

"Oh, babe, I love you so much...."

It was Yoongi's voice. And some other woman.

I stayed frozen on the carpet, mind finally processing what was going on in the other side of the door. On our bed. On the bed that had probably been decorated for our first night as husband and wife.

My husband was having sex with another woman.

Sudden blinding pain shot through me. It was completely unwarranted. It wasn't like he had promised me love and a happily ever after. He'd warned me that he was in love with another woman. So why did it hurt so damn much??

Maybe because I'd hoped he'd at least wait till after our first night was over, to cheat on me.

The last phrase made me laugh.

Cheat on me?

Who was I for him to cheat on me?

He didn't love me.

He didn't even care if I froze to death in the cold hallway.

He wasn't a friend or a companion. The sooner I got that into my head the happier I could be.

Swallowing the pain I quickly crept to the couch in the corner of the living space. It was warm inside the penthouse. I slipped out of my gown with ease. I stood still in just the shift and my inner wear, savoring the warm air on my frozen skin. I used the skirt of my wedding dress as a sort of blanket and went to sleep on the couch. I fell asleep quickly.

[aguysthumbnail-blog]

Me

Hey, guys! I'm starting this blog, and it's a part of a literacy plan I'm preparing, which is also linked with my Twitter (@vvitorduarte) and my Facebook page (you can search there for A Guy's Page, you'll find me!). Together, I want to begin a work down on YouTube, where I'd post videos kind of related to my chronicles I already write in my second Tumblr-blog (Chronicle Situation). Well, somehow I'm addicted to write, if I don't do that every single day in my life, it'd be like not living. It's strange. But, I need to confess, I don't write every single day, and as I said: I'm not living these ones. If you didn't notice, I'm going to tell you: I'm not a native speaker. I've learnt English for two years in a roll, all by myself, and if you want to know how did I get here (I'm still a noobie, but I can kindly suppose I'm a writer). Well, hit me up! It wouldn't cost me nothing to tell y'all. Guys, I'm learning how to improve my writing, through a writing course. Then, I have a question to answer, it's a 25 singular ways to define myself. So, let's going to start it! 1) I'm kind of depressive. I use to write sad poems and even short texts, and most of them I've never exposed to no one. I think that there's things we don't need to show off people. 2) I like learning. From everything, even that hurting moments. Even if I'm just looking for something or at someone. Recently I'd learn something special from a girl that has a deficiency. She taught me how to live being myself, a little more. How to be happy dancing alone. 3) Talking about to be alone: I'm a lonely guy. I use to say I'm a lost wolf, which is wandering through this life. Perhaps my last or my next life I would've been or would be in a wolf-shaped body. How knows that? 4) I'm always loving. I'm a neat lover. I love specially life beings, of course. And I'm looking for someone who'd tell me that he/she can love a tree or an ant or even a person. Not only person. Everyone I've been asking for, usually tell me that love is to have feelings or even experience something with a person. I'm not locked up only with person, I don't use to recognise only humans as a form of life. 5) I'm improving everyday, but I'm still having trouble with minimal things. Like, I can't control my chores, I'm always getting off of it. I try to follow a routine, but I've problems with that. I've ended up always running away from my tasks. It's like I wasn't born to do the same thing everday. 6) I love a girl called Ana. But I don't tell her I love her, 'cause she doesn't likes that word to be spoken mouthless. Mouthless? Is it? I don't know, I'm learning yet. Haha! Well, she worth a lot this singular word "love", and in her respect I'd stopped to say that for her. Unfortunately I've noticed that I'm telling this word less than usual, instead I'm saying people that I like them. Weird, huh? Ana's always teaching me things, even that isn't her will. 7) I'm always telling the truth. But, sometimes I feel uncomfortable to say something, then I just don't speak that. I shut up. In the beginning I was getting upset if I'd be quiet about something I should've told to someone. I don't lie to my parents. Mom knows that I don't like her house, that I feel like a mess when I'm in there. Dad's concious that I don't like his way to be always complaining about everything that happens in his life. Grandma too, I told her today that it'd be good to spent a couple days apart from them both, 'cause I could relax and be aware of all that complaints they've used to throw from their mouth. 8) I'm always hungry. 9) I'm a buddhist. I like that. It's changing my life. Also vegan, and this made me think about what I was putting in my throat, what I was eating. I cried once for the animals that suffers a whole (short) life just to finish in a plate. 10) I'm a doubtful guy. I'm rethinking almost everything, even that ones I've decided with conviction. But, I don't use to regret things. Weird, huh? Read the next annotation and perhaps you'd understand me. 11) I don't regret things. If I did something, if something is bought, it's bought/did. Nothing to complain. I chose that, I need to accept every kind of thing which would come from that, like an effect. 12) I believe that life's an ephemeral thing. And English native speakers think that my use to the word ephemeral is quite strange. They've been caught up in their minds, maybe thinking about its meaning. Well, I'm a Portuguese native speaker, I was born and I've been living in Brazil. It's a word that means that life and things in life happens quickly. It's just a moment. So, my personal quote is: life is an ephemeral thing. 13) I bite my nails. Yeah, I've tried a lot to stop that. It's really hard, and a bad habit. I don't like to do that. 14) YOLO. And that's all folks! 15) I'm a dreamer. How could I don't say that to you, guys? Yeah! I'm a dreamer. I'm always day-dreaming of things I want to do and who I'm going to be in the near future. 16) The biggest write in this millennium. That's what I'm going to be until I die. I'm not running up tails here, doode. Prepare yourself! 17) I'm hungry, yet. Again. I don't know if I ate something in the last half-hour. 18) Write is the worthiest to me. Is the most valuable thing I want to do until I close my eyes and pass on. 19) I don't if it's because I'm a Gemini or what, but I'm always meeting/doing someone/something else. I'm an active, and talkative guy. I don't like to feel like if I'm doing nothing. I hate boredom. 20) Twenty already? Already is a word I can't speak properly. I try, doode, I try, but I fail in every first attempt to say this word. Al-ready. 21) I meditate a lot. Everyday. After waking up, during the meals I take, before going to bed. Drinking something. All of a sudden. 22) I clean my penis with toilet paper after peeing. 23) I want to help the poors. And those people who suffers from hunger. I'm going to be a rich so I'd have enough money for that. Since I haven't achieved my goal, I'm trying to move on to charity here, with me amount I al-rea-dy have. Such a hard word. 24) I've not fear for failing. That's the main reason I'm not failing anymore. Got puzzled? Ask me, I'd gladly explain what-the-heck I meant there. 25) YAY! Twenty-five already. Guys, thank you! Thank me. Thank anyone who's reading this article. It's my first one. I'm proud of me. #mywritedna