#being in the public eye and constantly invaded was traumatic

[female-david-tennant]

Stresses me out how much ppl are like “OmG?!?! Dan and Phil knew about X post??” Or say they must have looked back on it recently or else how would they remember?

Bro. I think you fundamentally misunderstand them and the Internet parasocial relationship we have/had with them. They knew. They always knew. And I don’t want to put words in anyone’s mouths here, but it HURT them. Also. They’re not stupid. Y’all always think you’re so clever and sneaky.

I was there, at one point at like age 13, I grew as a person, forgiven myself, learned.

we’ve been invited back in so use your head and treat them with kindness, respect, and dignity. There is a way to interact, create, and bond while still doing that.

That being said, there was a lot of good to come from that circle, and we have a chance to cultivate it. Do that.

[padmeandaloysupremacy]

I have been off tumblr and writing in general for so long that now I finally have the desire to come back now. I have so many stories in the works now that i don't even know where to start, but i wanted to write a little song-fic about Anakin and Leia. My headcanon is that Anakin was actually a very good singer and had a beautiful voice its just that he was very self conscious about it and never really shared it with anyone.

This is basically an Modern AU where Anakin is a single father who raised Leia with the help of Obi-Wan and Ahsoka. He never met Padme he instead had Leia with another woman who found out she couldn't be a mother and left Anakin all alone with Leia. I wrote this mainly bc i like Anakin and Leia and the interactions with Anakin being a big softie for her. I liked writing Anakin and Leia and having her be Daddy's Little Girl. There is a chance where i might continue this and introduce Padme to the dynamic leading into an Anidala story but that is for another time.

The story utilizes lyrics from the song "Light" by Sleeping at Last.

The sun was starting to beat down on his back, but Anakin couldn't even begin to care at all. All of his attention was focused on the little bundle of sunshine wrapped away in his arms. More specifically, on the wide chocolate brown eyes that were currently drilling into him, like she was currently peering into his soul looking for anything her little heart desired.

The bundle of sunshine then began to open her mouth to utter something, but a loud yawn overtook the words that were supposed to spill from her lips.

Anakin brought a finger to tuck a strand of hair behind her little ear, "Leia, how about you take a nap."

The young girl shook her head in defiance, "No." She lifted that chubby finger of hers and began to stick it up her father's nose, stifling a laugh from him. Then she dragged that same finger down from the entrance of his nostrils to his lips which she forcefully opened with all her mighty strength.

"Leia, what the hell ar--"

"Sing for me."

Anakin froze in shock. He glanced down and saw those same big intoxicating chocolate orbs peering again into his soul, but instead of finding inquisitive eyes, these were pleading with him like a little puppy would do to its owner for some snacks.

Sing

Yes, he could sing. Anakin could really sing, as Obi-Wan told him before, "Anakin, you can be the most annoying and obnoxious hellhound I've met in my life, but you have the most amazing voice I've ever heard."

Anakin remembered laughing at Obi-Wan's statement but begrudgingly found it to be true. No matter how much he wished it wasn't.

Shaking himself from his thoughts, Anakin peered around the area and saw the park was pretty busy today. Some people were running along the trail, some children were laughing in the playground, couples were enjoying their picnics on the freshly cut grass, an elderly couple were holding hands in contempt with each other's presence, and a dog was taking a number two in the bush by the creek.

He and Leia were seated on a bench secluded from everybody else which ended up what Anakin wanted in the first place. If he was supposed to sing now for the little princess. 

Singing in public is something Anakin will no longer do. The public atmosphere envelopes him with anxiety, dread, loneliness, and fear. This was caused by what he experienced in his younger years when he sang in front of his school and got made fun of for it. Another traumatic event to add to his life story. I should really write a book, I could make millions, Anakin thought.

He only sang to those he cared about. To the people who made him feel safe and whole, and now one of those said people was currently seated in his arms patiently waiting for him to begin.

Anakin looked down at her and smiled, "Okay, I'll sing for you, Princess." 

He picked Leia up and repositioned her so that she was more comfortable sitting in his arms. He cleared his throat and began to softly sing in her ear.

May these words be the first

To find your ears

The world is brighter than the sun

Now that you're here

Though your eyes will need some time to adjust

To the overwhelming light surrounding us

Anakin took a deep breath and looked down to find Leia's eyes were partially shut. Just a little more and she will be out like a light. He needed to keep going before she started fussing around and being downright spoiled, which Anakin basically helped nurture.

I'll give you everything I have

I'll teach you everything I know

I promise I'll do better

I will always hold you close

But I will learn to let you go

I promise I'll do better

Soft snores invaded his eardrums and he knew that his little munchkin had finally fallen asleep. Anakin won't stop yet though, once he starts a song he has to finish it.

I will soften every edge

I'll hold the world to its best

And I'll do better

With every heartbeat, I have left

I will defend your every breath

And I'll do better

'Сause you are loved

You are loved more than you know

I hereby pledge all of my days

To prove it so

Though your heart is far too young to realize

The unimaginable light you hold inside

As Anakin finished he was shocked to feel tears streaming down his face like a steady flow of salty water. He forgot how much that song took on him emotionally. 

Then he suddenly remembered why.

Shmi

She used to always sing this to him to help him fall asleep when he was a toddler. It always worked in making him fall asleep fast and peacefully. The lyrics Anakin found were to be an intimate experience between a parent and their child. The song highlights the love that shines through the both of them. The song was one of the only reminders that he still has of his late mother. She died when he was nine and he constantly tried to hold onto her memory as much as he could even though it was slowly killing him.

Shmi was his sunshine as much as Leia is, and Anakin couldn't help but correlate the similarities between Shmi and Leia. He can see his mother in Leia. The eyes, the smile, and the love they both showed him. Shmi lived on through his little girl. 

Shmi and Leia will always be with him. 

The thought brought a choked sob to ravish him and he instinctively clutched the now sleeping body of his daughter tighter to his body.

"I--I'll always l-love...you, Leia." Anakin gently lifted his hand to caress her cheek and then kissed her forehead. "No matter what, I'll always l-love you."

[multisfabulis]

Fluffles Part 2

To anyone wondering what fluffles are, they’re basically little tidbits of information I’ll share about the characters that have been introduced so far since the possibility of when or even if another segment about these stuffies is very much in the air. Plus, it’s more information about these characters that you get to know!

I usually write these fluffles on my OC Twitter so if they’re formatted or written weird, that’s why.

So I know I didn't mention this in their bios but I planned that, on the day of Astra's coronation as queen, a rival kingdom would invade the Caeleste kingdom in order to usurp her rule (Cliche as hell, I know), Miranda and Fenrir would try and get the invaders' attention so that Astra and Orion would be able to escape. During the fight, both Miranda and Fenrir would get severely injured, actually losing a part of themselves (Miranda, her right arm and Fenrir, one of his eyes) before becoming subsequently captured. During their time in imprisonment, they'd be tortured for information about the Caeleste kingdom and any safe places Astra and Orion might go to. After some time, Miranda and Fenrir would be rescued by the main guards of the main town, Aurora Zenith (The only place I actually developed), on Astra and Orion's behalf. I only got that far in terms of planning but I wanted to basically knock Miranda and Fenrir down a peg (Great way to talk about your OCs, Airi...).

As their personalities are put in their bios, I wanted to try writing how Miranda and Fenrir would've coped with this traumatic experience in their own ways.

I imagine Miranda would try to play it off cool, make it seem like losing an arm and being tortured right after isn't such a big deal, only to eventually start cracking once she can't stop shaking from the possibility of fighting again and finding her attacks much harder to deal and land.

Fenrir, on the other hand, would never talk about it, distancing himself from everyone and make it seem like the whole thing didn't get to him. People would start seeing how it's quite the opposite when they see Fenrir sometimes flinch if a hand's being raised or notice him spacing out (Which, for him, is really obvious).

Of course they'd get help but it'd definitely be a long and difficult process (That's about it as far as I planned).

Orion has a tendency to run away from problems, whether it be out of fear, emotional burden, or both. Part of the reason is that he believes some problems don't have a solution to them while another part is because he doesn't believe he can do much more than to run away.

Because of how close they are, Astra knows this and, due to her not wanting to upset him and possibly believing that Orion should work it out on his own, she doesn't call him out on it and will sometimes enable it, which of course doesn't solve anything.

However, I have imagined a scenario where Orion, already dealing with the stress of having to escape from invaders wanting to kill him and seeing Miranda and Fenrir horribly maimed from trying to protect him and Astra, decides to cut ties with them, not wanting to deal with the reality of their possible deaths. Initially, Astra goes along with it, thinking Orion's trying to cope with what happened in his own way and would later rethink his decision. When some time passes, she eventually realizes he was serious and, seeing how this is doing more harm than good to both parties involved, she goes to confront him. I'd like to think this as it being emotional since Astra calls Orion out on his behavior, even saying she was wrong for not stopping it sooner and believing he'd get over it without any help, while Orion admits he's known about this for years but has never tried to fix it due to his insecurities and fears and his belief he can't be anything more than a coward. Course, if you know me, this does lead to Orion reversing his decision but it also leads to Orion to try working on his avoidance issues with Astra promising to not enable it and to help him by correcting him if she starts to suspect him doing it again.

As I mentioned in their summaries, Miranda and Fenrir are the leaders of the Caeleste Guard, which is an achievement in of itself, but for these two, I'd like to think it's more... a moment of triumph by successfully subverting everyone's expectations of them. I only very recently got this idea for Miranda and Fenrir so there's probably gonna be some fine-tuning but I'd like to think of them being treated as sort of outcasts during their childhood (Although, not to the point of being treated like Ven was).

When I was in the process of making Fenrir a lycanthrope, I had the idea of people looking down on the Lycan race due to preconceptions and/or stereotypes so I'm basically bringing this idea to life, which means Fenrir was pitied at best or discriminated at worst (I.E. being called names such as 'mutt' or 'dog' or being accused of killing livestock whenever they go missing, etc).

Miranda, on the other hand, was born as a mixed child (I haven't come up with the various races that reside in the Caeleste kingdom and because there aren't any IRL ethnicities or nationalities in the universe, the best I can say for Miranda is that she'd be biracial in the real world, though not in the way you'd expect) out of an illegitimate love affair between a duchess and a woodcutter (What her father could be just came to me and it makes sense because this could be why Miranda chooses to wield a battleaxe instead of a regular sword). The duchess, not wanting to ruin her public image, dumps the baby at the father's door and never looks back and that explains Miranda's circumstances.

Long story short, I like to think that, despite how life's dealt them a crappy hand during their childhood, Miranda and Fenrir would want to prove everyone that said they wouldn't amount to much in life wrong by deciding to be part of the royal guard and make something of themselves (Although, for my sake, I'll say they didn't expect to be leaders and considered it to be a far-off dream).

I like to imagine Astra placing impossibly high standards on herself when it comes to her wanting to be a good queen to her people. She's constantly worrying over if she's meeting those standards and pushes herself to the extreme to meet them. If I had to put it in simpler terms, it's pressure from both herself and everyone's expectations of her that is slowly but surely pushing her to the brink of a breakdown.

Astra's the type of person to not really let anyone in on her worries and such, meaning no one would expect her breakdown until it'd already happen. She doesn't want people to worry over her and certainly disappoint everyone around her, hence why she keeps all of it in.

I had an idea in that, when the Caeleste kingdom's been invaded, Astra would feel a little relieved because everyone's eyes would be off of her. However, she still needed to put up a facade of being strong because, as previously stated before, she doesn't want others worrying over her.

I believe I mentioned in their summaries that Astra lets Orion have control over the Luna faction because she wants him to know he's just as important to their kingdom as her. However, the cause of this would be because Astra feels as if she's responsible for a lot of Orion's issues. Here comes an exposition dump...

Orion is the only successor to the branch family, as is Astra to the main family. The branch family cannot rule over the Caeleste kingdom as they do not have the power to do so. The main family can only be the ruling party as they have the power, as can be expected. Orion's older than Astra by either a few months or a year (I haven't decided as of now); as such, he doesn't hold claim to the throne. While he doesn't hold any resentment towards Astra, his position in the family leads him to believe he isn't important to the kingdom and that there's no need for him to be around. Astra knows about this and believes it to be her fault, simply because she was born (Which I know sounds like a stupid reason for getting guilty over but Astra doesn't exactly have proof or the confidence to prove herself wrong otherwise...). So, while they are close to one another, they do NOT talk to each other about these issues, mainly because it'd be pretty hard to talk to someone about your insecurities when the other feels like it's their fault for those insecurities.