#being in the sw fandom so long has left me cold and jaded and probably meaner than i should be

[maschotch]

Okay okay okay, so I saw your opinion on Hotchreid (and I also saw your tags saying you wanted to have a discussion but also like only maybe cause the ship is a squicky one for you, so I totally understand if you don't respond to this).

So, at least for me, there's enough evidence in the show to say that Hotch is only 10 years older than Reid. In the episode where we meet Sean, Hotch says something along the lines of Sean being 25 years old, and Hotch is only 10 years older than Sean--this is in season one when Spencer just had his 24th birthday. So, to me, Hotch is 10 years (maybe 11) older than Reid. Does that make the age gap better? Probably not. But in the real world, once you're older, having a lover who is 5 or 10 years older than you isn't that big of a deal (I personally know older family friends who are 9 years apart and they've been married for 45 years and counting).

I totally see the father-son dynamic between them, too, and I freaking LOVE platonic Hotchreid. Hotch being there for Reid as a father figure is one of my favorite things, and I love the fics where Reid goes to Hotch for help or support.

Okay okay so, I honestly cannot tell you why Hotchreid is my favorite ship--because as much as I joke that it's my daddy issues, I legit can't stand Daddy Kinks (no hate to those who love it). For me, I think their relationship would happen by accident. It starts with them having intelligent and fun conversations (it's well known that Hotch is very intelligent as well, though maybe not with an IQ of 187, haha). I can see them eating dinner in Hotch's office while discussing law and science and psychology. It just *grows* from there, becomes something fun and teasing, until one day they both realize that they want more than just friendship. For me, Reid sees Hotch as his intellectual equal. He's always been younger than his peers, so he doesn't see the age gap as an issue (though Hotch would, for a while).

I dunno if I explain this well enough for you to understand, lol, but yeah, that's how I feel about it. That being said, I am in therapy c; LOL! And I still totally get why Hotchreid isn't everyone's cup of tea. I personally cannot understand Hotchniss or Demily because to me, they seem more like siblings than lovers (in both cases), but I get why people love them.

Anyways! I hope you have a wonderful day <3

i have given up on criminal minds ages tbh. the writing is far too inconsistent to even try to argue with it so im just gonna say that if thats the ages you think, then thats what they'll be for the rest of the discussion! bc who am i to say their ages when i have no fucking clue how old they are akjsdhlgs

i understand that there are some real life age gap relationships that can be perfectly healthy. and age gaps definitely dont matter as much when you're older! someone middle aged dating someone 5 years younger/older is no big deal. someone 20 dating someone 5 years younger/older can be pedophilia. my own personal bias against age gap relationship are probably not as inclusive as they should be and im aware of that.

reid and hotch are certainly on the same mental intelligence level. reids higher askjdg but that doesnt translate to emotional maturity. its very clear that, at least early on, reid is definitely not very emotionally developed. he definitely improves as he gets older

this is the dialogue that crosses a line for me and prevents me from seeing it as romantic. hotch plays an active role teaching reid how to be an emotionally capable individual. and even though reid was over 18 when they met, even though reid is very intelligent, he is still developing as a person. and hotch is helping him through that

i just think that when someone is helping another person grow and fully mature as their own individual for the first time, they have great influence over how they end up. so anything romantic coming from that.. thats just.. grooming

to be fair, im very very very VERY conscious of this as i engage with media and interact w fandoms. im a star wars fan, and a lot of popular ships follow a similar dynamic: falling in love with the person who helped you grow up. and thats just... thats so inappropriate to me. even if the older person would never intentionally abuse that, its still a wildly unhealthy power dynamic that makes me really uncomfortable. its just something im hyperaware of in fandom spaces because its such a common trope that people sexualize.

with the rest of the team, its not as relevant because they were already developed in that particular arena. they've all had relationships before, they've all lived their own lives and had their own experiences and their own ideas of whats right/wrong and who to love. hotch wasn't directly involved with their development as a well-rounded individual.

i appreciate you explaining to me your thought process behind it, so i just wanted to expand on what specifically i cant wrap my head around so that you can give your reasoning on why this isnt a concern for you. if you have a response, please send another ask because i really do want to know more.

and i totally get the sibling thing for emily/hotch and morgan/emily. i agree on morgan/emily being more a sibling thing. and im totally fine with hotch/emily being completely platonic like its no biggie for me. im not really a big "shipper" but its fun to think about sometimes, and they're just the ones thats easiest for me to think about probably because theyre my favs and i do nothing but think about them all day

AJSDLHF actually in therapy :* me too~ lets get better ~healing and love

thank you for the ask tho fr. its not something ive ever really tried to think about, so any reasons to enjoy it are lost on me simply.