#best friends 5ever because it’s longer than four

[pinkbeastie]

friendship goals

[ellvie]

ELVIE CROFT, twenty four years old. youtuber and ghost with the most on beloved emmy award winning netflix series ghost gallery. interests include horror movies, the 80s, halloween, and the absolute abomination that is black licorice. the smartest dipshit you’ll ever meet.

elvin tupelo croft. prefers elvie, but el is okay if you’re a close friend or family member. is extremely sensitive about the fact that he was almost named elvis after the famous musician because his dad is OBSESSED.

born in the salem, massachusetts on halloween day. descendant of an accused witch, son of an actual witch, and practices himself albeit casually. his dad is the county district attorney while his mom owns a small shop in town, so they were...lower middle class i guess. they always had enough to meet their needs, but couldn’t afford any extra spending or splurging. as he got older he’d go on to work small jobs around town, most notably as a janitor in the local movie theater. so no silver spoon or high horse here.

margo massey has been his best friend since birth. her maternal grandparents disowned her mom when she fell pregnant with margo, so elvie’s dad gave them some legal help and the rest is history. they’ve been best friends for longer than either of them can even remember, true ride or dies for life. if you don’t like margo then elvie doesn’t like you and that’s that on that. the antics of elvie croft and margo massey were famous in salem long before they were famous on netflix.

so he tried lots of different activities as a kid. he was a boy scout, he took music lessons, he was absolutely awful at tee ball, but nothing really stuck. he’s always had a lot of energy and a short attention span, so he gets bored of stuff pretty easily. 

something his parents and teachers would often notice about him was that he’s very smart. he’s a fast learner, one of those annoying types who seems to just do well in school and get perfect grades without even trying? that’s him. some people have even thrown around words like brilliant and genius. tbh they probably aren’t far off, but elvie hates being called smart to the point where he?? intentionally dumbs himself down 24/7 and passes it off as a joke

ofc that didn’t stop from being mercilessly bullied all throughout school. he had braces and glasses and chronic nosebleeds and didn’t play any sports and only had one friend who was picked on just as badly so he was definitely a favorite target of his peers.

fortunately elvie has much thicker skin than most people seem to realize. he doesn’t...really care what people think about him. at all. oh so what you don’t like him. he’ll have a good long cry about it while his emmy award is getting polished. not that he’s arrogant bc he honestly isn’t. it’s just that he knows his worth and your opinion of him isn’t going to change that.

he was fifteen when the rich & snobby abernathy family bought a huge summer home in salem and he met their daughter, astrea...it was love at first sight and to this day he’s never loved anybody else or even dated anybody else. their summer romance turned long distance when she went home in the fall. they were insistent upon not letting anything break them apart and aside from about a year where they weren’t together, nothing ever did. elvie croft has been dating the same girl since he was fifteen and just keeps falling more and more in love with her.

it should be noted that astrea’s parents absolutely hate him and they always have. he didn’t do anything except come from a poor no name family, which was more than enough for them, so elvie was resorting to climbing through her window and helping her sneak out in the middle of the night so they could see each other for even five minutes. it’s a regular romeo juliet story. how disgustingly lovesick and On Brand™ for them.

a year later he started his youtube channel at the age of sixteen with margo & the camera that he got for his birthday. it’s basically buzzfeed unsolved supernatural. he’s the believer, she’s the skeptic, and they go looking for ghosts! it was an instant hit. with every video posted they were gaining subscribers in the dozens, then the hundreds, then the thousands. they weren’t even in college yet and they were already two of the most popular & beloved names in youtuber fandom.

attended nyu once they did get to college. tbh elvie didn’t really wanna go?? he doesn’t like school, so he technically studied business and was top of his class as per usual, but he was mostly just there to party and hang out with margo and finally get to be with astrea all the time. he loves her so much like i can’t stress this enough.

too bad for him bc he got DUMPED in their last year of college. astrea broke up with him and then immediately went to saudi arabia for a year. he didn’t take it well at all, but fortunately he’d be distracted soon enough.

elvie and margo were approached by netflix producers who basically wanted to turn their youtube channel into a tv show which turned out to be a really smart move because ghost gallery is a HUGE HIT. everyone’s seen it. everyone loves it. no one can seem to shut up about it. basically think of the hype around stranger things and you’ll understand how much everyone loves ghost gallery.

they’ve put out two seasons so far & are just about to start filming for season three which is scheduled for a late october 2019 release and elvie absolutely loves his show so he couldn’t be happier about it!

and now for a few other fast facts bc i SOMEHOW feel like i haven’t covered everything yet!

loves horror movies, halloween, and scaring people. by the age of twelve he was getting full grown adults to scream and run away from him in terror while he just laughed and laughed bc it was the best thing ever to him.

it’s been a running joke all his life that he doesn’t seem to be afraid of anything and who knows? maybe he isn’t.

his other major interest? everything 80s. tbh at least 90% of everything he’s ever said is an 80s movie reference, often too obscure for most people to even catch. 

he’s extremely rich bc he spends almost none of the money he earns from youtube and netflix. he grew up poor enough to have the mentality that he can’t just go around wasting money on whatever he wants even though he very well could without even making a serious dent in his bank account. at worst he might impulse buy some extra candy or smth but nothing more expensive than that

they type of eccentric genius who will solve a whole rubik’s cube in .0000000001 seconds like it’s nothing and act like it isn’t even a big deal bc he’s already distracted by something else entirely. it probs gives people a little whiplash tbh

PERSONALITY: elvie is nice, but he’s not for everyone. eccentric is probably the best word to describe him. he doesn’t do things the way everyone else does. he’s extremely hyperactive and very ~out there~ which is a combination that’s just Too Much for some people. he tends to come across as either witty and endearingly charming or loud and flat out annoying. so he’s kinda terrible at making friends but it doesn’t stop him from trying. in general he’s well liked if only bc almost everyone loves ghost gallery, but ofc there are outliers so pls feel free to hate him. tl;dr he’s completely harmless but maybe a little annoying, will just ramble at you for hours about ghosts and horror movies and the 80s and assume that you’re friends because of it.

CONNECTIONS

family

maternal cousin - willow sparks and alexandra blakely (distant)

paternal cousin, constant bickering - river espinoza

romantic

wife - astrea croft

unrequited crush - open

platonic

best friend, might bicker sometimes but ride or die 5ever - margo massey

acquaintances - torrance keynes, saywer duncan, open to more.

close friends - open to several.

family friends - rosalind cox, open to more.

friends -  jordan parkes, wren daily, reign monroe, sahar santini, genesis iver, ingrid larson, marialena goldstein.

online → irl friends - ginny baker

unlikely friends - eden o’ connor, open to more,

frenemies - beckley bovér, open to more.

negative

enemies - angel almeida, open to more.

bad terms - carson king, open to more.

ex friends - luna reyes, anastasia sangster.

he doesn’t tend to have a lot of enemies but whew he absolutely despises angel so if you like him then elvie probably doesn’t like you. 

[rongasm]

Hi friends! A while ago I answered an ask and made this post about my makeup routine because I have oily af skin and very red, pigmented skin from terrible acne scarring, and I really struggle with it. At the time these were my go-to products, but I’ve upped my game a little bit (and infallible changed their formula... boooo) so I thought I would update you on my makeup routine. These will not be all drugstore brands. If you want my drugstore advice, go to the post I linked above. 

The order of my routine has also changed over time because I’m spending more money on products. This is for beginners in makeup who probably wouldn’t know as much as someone who spends a lot of time on youtube (god knows I don’t) so it’s probably gonna be pretty basic. 

Basically, if you’re like me and you don’t have an older sister giving you advice on makeup, this is for you! 

Step one: Moisturizer! 

So, it turns out your makeup stays on way better when you put moisturizer on first. Your skin, when it’s oily like mine (ours) gets unbalanced and the oils are in different places, causing some of your makeup to stay on, and some to slide off. I’ve been using Caudalie Vinosource Moisturizing Sorbet, which I really like because it soothes the redness of my skin from my acne scars. When you’re using your fingers, start around your nose (the more oily place, basically) and brush out with the pads of your fingers. I don’t know why this works better, but it does. 

Step two: Primer!

There’s a lot that you can use for primers, I personally don’t stick to one. For acne scarring and redness, I would try smashbox photo finish-- the green one. It helps with pigmentation. I also really like the Milk blur stick and I still adore the Rimmel London Stay Matte primer. I’ve found that the primers with the stickier consistencies work better for me. 

Step three: Take a break.

I recently realized that my makeup lasts about 85 times longer when I do my eye makeup after I do my primer and moisturizer. Tangent: My eyelashes never, ever curl, so I’ve been using Covergirl the Supersizer Waterproof Mascara lately. It is literally the only mascara in the universe that will get my lashes to stay up. However, I don’t love the way it kinda thins my lashes out, so I’ve been trying to come up with a routine where I combine it with Lash Paradise (a Better Than Sex Mascara dupe) to create a thicker, more dramatic look. Everyone’s been raving about Lash Paradise, for the record. When I went to Ulta to grab it, there were literally only two left. Unfortunately, it doesn’t hold my curl, so that makes me sad. 

Step four: Foundation!

I tried to fight it. I tried to deny it. Kat Von D’s Lock-It foundation.... you’re undeniable. It’s the best color match of my life-- usually makeup professionals white-wash me; I have this olive-y Jewish skin that’s pretty pale, but it’s not, like, pale-pale. This foundation actually matches it and it makes me g l o w. It stays on 6-ever. I take my wet beauty blender (it goes on better when it’s wetter and you use less product, which means the product lasts longer and you don’t have to buy it again sooner) and put little dots on my face. Then I blend all the dots together. I use light, blotty strokes, except for where I press harder, which is in areas that are super red for me-- above the eyebrows, above the upper lip, especially. I either do one and a half pumps, one layer, or two pumps with two layers, depending on how thick I want it. And. It. WORKS! (This has become a lot of oily skinned people’s holy grail foundation. It is #blessed.) 

Step five: Concealer!

I’d been using Mac’s pro-longwear concealer since high school, and I really liked it. I know it oxidizes weird on some people’s skin, but it worked fine with me. However, when I switched to Lock-It, I also happened to be running out of concealer, so instead of hopping from Sephora to Macy’s to grab my usual Mac go-to, I just snatched up the Lock-It concealer that matched my color. I really like it because instead of a pump like the Mac pro-longwear, it comes with a little stick, like a liquid lipstick. You can use that stick to apply very little or alot, and it saves product and is very precise. I tuck it onto any really bad acne spots (it doesn’t really help with the pockmarks I have above my left eyebrow, but nothing does), then I put it on top of my nose, in the side creases of my nose, the creases of my smile lines (they always lose makeup first and it’s like a weird red wrinkle), the crease of my chin, and a little V under my eye. Then I blend together with the smaller end of my beauty blender. The nose doesn’t last forever, but this is far better than any other makeup I’ve used so far, when it comes to makeup sliding off. 

Step six: Setting Powder!

I rarely experiment with powder. What I’ll suggest is to get a really, really big powder brush but then don’t brush it on-- kinda blot it on obnoxiously. Like, pat pat pat with the brush. This seems to work better for me. For oily skin, I would still suggest Rimmel London translucent stay-matte setting power. It’s my go-to drugstore brand, but, like I said, I don’t really experiment much here. However, I doubt it’s the end-all-be-all for powder, so here’s a link for best setting powders at various price ranges. Many people swear by Laura Mercier, Make Up For Ever, and L'oreal Paris, which all come in at different prices. Experimenting here is my September makeup goal.  

Step seven: Setting spray!

This is a must for anyone with oily skin. Sorry, girls, but we gotta do it. Last time I made this post, I was swearing by Model In A Bottle, which is okay, but I’ve come to realize that it’s not the best. The best of the best is Make Up For Ever Mist & Fix Setting Spray. It is everything to me. I don’t love the way Lock-It smells, and then I spray the Mist & Fix over it and I’m like “wow I smell delicious.” I had to go to multiple Sephoras to get it because it is always sold out. But I am officially Make Up For Ever’s bitch. 

Step eight: Skincare!

Okay, I know. This is the most boring part ever. But let’s talk skin care for people with oily, sensitive, or red-prone skin. Hi, friends. I am all of you. 

Here’s what I’m using right now: 

Boscia Makeup-Breakup Cool Cleansing Oil

You put it on your skin and it takes off all your makeup, then you splash water on it and it becomes a cleanser. If you put it on your eyes and scrub, yes, it will take off even the toughest mascaras. 

Ren Evercalm Cleansing Milk

Daily, just a gentle cleanser. 

Ren Evercalm Ultra Comforting Rescue Mask

A few times a week, 10 to 15 mins. Or use it when your face is a total disaster, like post-period, if you’re a person who gets a period. 

Ole Henriksen Balancing Force Oil Control Toner 

Daily, toner that tackles discoloration and oily skin

Neogen Dermalogy Bio-Peel Gauze Peeling - Lemon

Little double sides cleansing pads, two or three times a week. There’s a soft side and an exfoliating side. The lemon juice is meant to lighten, brighten, and even out the skin. Then you wash it off and put your toner over it to complete your evening routine!

Now let’s talk about the elephant in the room: Money. I know this sounds really, really expensive... and it is. But don’t forget that these are not products that I buy each and every month. They last. I buy products in waves-- so I’m replenishing things probably once a month, but not the same things. I’ve been using my moisturizer, my makeup-breakup cleansing oil, and my bio-peel gauze since late-May and I haven’t had to replace them yet. The powder lasts 5ever. I’ve been using Lock-It for a month and I’m not even close to having to replace it. It’ll probably last me another month, if not longer, because I’m not even halfway through the bottle yet. The Make Up For Ever Mist & Fix will last me even longer-- the bottle is huge and it doesn’t go fast, which is why it’s pricier. 

Which is simply to say..... prioritize. You don’t have to spend all this money at once. God knows I wouldn’t. For me, the foundation, concealer, and setting spray are the three most important things. If you go to sephora, they’ll tell you that the skin care stuff is what you need to get your hands on first. As for primers, Rimmel London is drugstore and has never failed me, I buy cheap-ass blush and highlighter, you could probably get a temp-moisturizer and wait to get a more expensive one. If you were to go to Sephora or Ulta and tell them your price range for a certain item, someone would be able to help you find what you’re looking for. There’s a wide range of prices for makeup. Ulta is drugstore-to-middle and Sephora is middle-to-high-end, product-wise

Plus, these products are sometimes less money in other places. Check Ulta, Sephora, Amazon, Target, and CVS before buying a product. The higher-end stuff, you won’t find at Target or CVS, and there’s some stuff that’s a little more exclusive to Sephora so you won’t even be able to find it at Ulta, but basically all of these products can be found on Amazon (sometimes more expensive, sometimes less) and a bunch can be found in drugstores. Shop around for the best price! Sometimes the price difference is actually really big.

And don’t forget, everyone’s skin is different. There are products that might work for me that might not work for you and vice versa. Everybody’s skin has different quirks and evilness. Figure out how to take care of yours if it’s something you care about. Good luck, and if you have any questions, feel free to ask! Okay, I have officially older-sistered you. 

[wanderingandfound]

The Posterchildren: Origins - Issue #1

In which we meet our four protagonists and I rejoice that I am no longer in high school.

Context: This week is the first week of The Posterchildren Book Club. The Posterchildren is a YA series (universe?) about an alternate world where some people have superpowers. It was created by Kitty Burroughs, who is the author of The Posterchildren: Origins, an ebook copy of which can be found here for $5.

Full disclosure: I’ve read this multiple times before so this will probably be a minorly spoilery post. Any actual for-real spoilers will be down at the bottom with a warning.

The introduction to this universe of superheroes occurs at a rainy cemetery. Corbin Underwood, father of point of view character Malek “Mal” Underwood has died. Mal appears to have nothing but contempt for the entire thing. According to Mal nobody liked his dad, and those that did either didn’t really know Corbin, or they are mistaken in their affections.

I’ll admit right now that when I first read this I knew conceptually of the unreliable narrator, but I didn’t actually apply it to what I was reading. Kitty Burroughs does an absolutely amazing job of imbuing all her writing with rich character voices and perspectives and just plain old word choices conveying dialect and origins and personality. And then, by using a third person POV, tricks naive first-time readers like I was into thinking that this is the Absolute Objective Truth. 

I really do love Mal, but throughout this issue he reminds me of so many “enlightened” guys from high school who think they have absolutely everything under control and are already adults. But now that I’m a few years out of that I can laugh (somewhat kindly) at quotes like this, from a convo between Mal and his kinda-adopted-older-sister but also kinda-his-crush:

“If you’re attempting to cheer me up, you’re doing a shit job of it.”

“Language, young man. And are you admitting that you need cheered up?”

“I said no such thing,” Mal said, inwardly proud of the imperious ring he managed to plaster over his shaky voice. She probably couldn’t even tell how hard it was getting for him to swallow past the tears in his throat.

-Location 109 on my Kindle

And okay, Mal is definitely an amazingly smart kid. But he also only just turned 14 so I am choosing to believe that Ellie Lark can totally tell he’s on the verge of tears. It is their father’s funeral for goodness’ sake.

Also:

All signs of a bleeding heart had to be cut out and left in the field like the entrails of a kill.

-Location 198

I still don’t know how much wilderness experience (not theory) Mal has had. And while he’s probably right about the cut-throat nature of his school and his world (his dad did just die before he even got to 50), I think he’s also being overdramatic in his language choices. And I know for sure from past experience with teenage guys, that if you told him such he would just look down on you for not being able to see how the world “really works”.

Anyways I love Mal, but getting to June was like a breath of fresh air.

Not that June doesn’t also think that She Knows Everything.

When the airport car service finally pulled into the gravel drive and parked in the field in front of the Academy, June’s first impression of the high-and-mighty Best School in America for Posterchildren was that it had more trees than was strictly necessary. Everywhere she looked, there were trees. Pine trees. Leafy ones. Trees, trees, trees. Clearly, the deforestation myth was yet another lie that the government perpetuated to rile up the conservationists and give the hippies something to do with their time.

Okay, besides the fact that I am from the PNW and love trees with all my soul and so disagree with her opinion on mere principle, it’s been four years since I first read this and I still don’t know if she’s serious or not about the “deforestation myth”. Usually I think she’s joking but sometimes??? I think mostly it’s her personality where her knee-jerk reaction is “everything I don’t like is wrong”. Or maybe that’s me projecting.

So June has no idea what being a superhero entails, but she is going to ace it she’s sure. She’ll even threaten the “built like a linebacker” tour-guide over her apparently contraband candybar. Said tour-guide turns out to be the son of basically Superman and isn’t used to people not recognizing him, but thankfully he takes this well.

So well in fact we see him, Ernest West Wright, asking his father, who just came back from the funeral of his maybe-best-friend and cried so hard Mal was ashamed of him, if John can “pull some strings” and maybe get June as superhero-in-training partner for the next three years. Just a little though. Ernest wouldn’t want to be too much of a bother. He’s a very considerate kid who made his dad spaghetti but neither of them were hungry so he made sure the left-overs were properly stored. 

I love Ernest guys. So much.

Dad Wright tells Ernest that he’s the top of the class (?!?!?!) and he’s already been paired with another successful dude. Ernie’s response?

“Dad, listen. June tried to fight me. Me! Maybe she won’t win the fifty yard dash or nothing, but she’s got guts. You can’t grade those.”

-Location 484

Both of the Wright men really do talk like this. It’s unreal. And somehow not cheesy.

Anyways his dad smiles and says maybe and then heads up to bed with a bottle of whiskey. Earlier in this section Ernest notes that both he and his dad are “impervious to extreme temperatures”. During these reviews I’m going to try and figure out what, exactly, are the limits of these Superman/Captain America hybrid “white bread” (June’s words) superheroes. My first question/observation: it looks like the Commander can get drunk. Probably. How long does this last?

Then we get back to Mal. The very first paragraph ends:

He didn’t have to preen or posture to get their attention. His parentage and test scores said all that needed to be said about him.

-Location 498

Oh Mal.

Apparently in the equivalent of Posterkid-elementary school Mal got a perfect 50/50, which had never happened before in the history of this school. He’s just that good (and worked that hard). So now he’s waiting for his Posterkid-middle school grade. He’s nervous, because this will determine who he’s partnered with and also the rest of his life. Because American schools do this to 14 year olds. But still, he is Mal. He’s much better than the average student. He’s got this. 

He got a 67/100. 17 points for all of middle school. If you ever fall below 50% you’re kicked out of school. The only reason he hasn’t been is because he was an exceptional kid. He’s in disbelief. He talks back to Mr. John Commander Wright Sir and uh, it turns out it isn’t a mistake. Cue embarrassment. 

He hated his father so much in that moment, with forty-seven obnoxious children laughing at him, the heat of his rage made it hard for him to breathe.

-Location 529 

Okay, Mal, I don’t think every single other student is laughing at you. Also some are older than you. Also

God, she despised teenagers.

-Location 290, when June is in the tour group.

June and Mal have too much in common their interactions are not gonna go well.

Anyways Mal stays around long enough to hear who is partner is, doesn’t recognize the name and storms out while the assembly is still going on. 

He didn’t know who Chance was. He didn’t care. All he knew was that Chance had a combined score of sixty-seven, and for that, Mal hated him more than anyone he’d ever known.

-Location 560

Harsh dude.

So Mal goes to the gym to beat something up and after the assembly ends properly John Wright follows him and is like, this is neither your fault nor your dad’s fault. See, Mal was basically homeschooled for middle school and Dead Dad Underwood gave him a 48/50, saying he was a going to need to learn how to be a team player but was overall a good kid. Mal refrains from lashing out and seems to remember that maybe these adults actually do care about him.

And then we meet Zip Chance. The love of my life. Who does not use he/him pronouns and does not deserve Mal’s deepest hate. However, Mal takes some of his anger out on her and makes her cry. He tells himself to not feel bad about that. She calls him a “jerkwad” and runs away and I love her 5ever. 

Then we get darling Zip’s point of view and see that she isn’t going to let a mean partner get her down. She is determinedly optimistic and perfect. She is excited for high school and we find out that when she was little sometimes Zip would run through the screen doors in pursuit of breakfast. Because that’s what Zip does, she runs. And she has run away with my heart (okay I’ll stop now (never)).

Instead of doing what I would do, and avoid Mal until absolutely necessary, Zip decides not only to eat breakfast with her partner, but engage in positive conversation. Mal does not make it easy for her, and there are a few times when she genuinely missteps, but overall they actually part ways with the promise of trying to be good partners for each other and my heart starts to melt at how much I love them. 

So ends Issue #1, and wow oh wow did that get long. I’m new to reviewing things so I’ll work on that. Spoilers below ranked in how far away the spoiler is.

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Barely a Spoiler:

June to Ernest: “Go for it, champ.” - Location 271. June. June. How did you? Of course Ernest would think you knew who he was if you literally called him Champ.

A Bit of a Spoiler:

The way she saw it, it just wasn’t possible for her to continue in the life track her mother had laid out for her. She wanted her to finish up high school, go to college, get a degree, and then live a nice and/or normal adult life. Now, that plan had been a good one— though June had privately vowed to have at least two or three questionable college experiences, just to keep Marcy on her toes— but it’d belonged to the Old June. Old June was on the slow track to a nice, normal career. New June was a clean slate.

-Location 220

Your mother is a well-to-do sculpture artist who hangs out with the has-beens and up-and-comings. Is this really what she wants for you?

Post Bad Things Happen:

Training had always been an outlet. Whenever he was frustrated by life at large, he fell back on training to wear him out and drain the poison out of him. Sometimes, hitting things was the easiest, simplest way to calm himself down. Logically, he knew that fact didn’t say good things about his psyche, but he didn’t care. He just hit things harder.

-Location 564

Oh Mal. You are so much like your brother you don’t even know.

He didn’t hear the Commander’s approach, but that wasn’t surprising. Mal was good, but not quite that good. Not yet. - Location 566

Well, in some ways at least.

After getting to know Corbin:

That punishment was preferable to being coddled by the man that had cried openly at Rook’s funeral.

-Location 575

He didn’t need a shoulder to cry on. He didn’t need anyone’s help.

-Location 586

Where did this toxic masculinity come from? Because it is surprisingly absent in both Corbin and the very violent Marshal. And I’m pretty sure Amira wouldn’t raise her son to be like this? And even if John maybe has these tendencies (that’s an actual maybe, I don’t know) Ernest definitely doesn’t. Who was your bad role model Mal? Have you even ever watched a TV show? Also calling Ellie’s wings “physical deformities” back at Loc. 71? I mean they might be something but they sure aren’t deformed.