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johnemulaney · 3 years

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John Mulaney: From Scratch in Las Vegas, September 4

Once again, spoilers for the show and what will presumably be in the special. This is about his relapse so tread with caution is that will be an issue for you. However, the tone of his struggle is the same one he used in his past specials so if you didn’t have any issues then, I think you’d be ok with this. Of course, use your own best judgement, friends.

The opener was Seaton Smith.

He opened with trying to find the rich people in the crowd but acknowledged that they’d go mwrmwmwrw money isn’t everything so then he started talking about golf and went aha I got ya’ll.

There was a joke about weed being the only Christian drug

He had a bit about when white people are nice, be nervous

He had a bit about there being a black man on the Bachelor and was like America (ABC and Disney+) were not ready for a black man to be fucking a house full of 50 white women. That shit premiered on Tuesday and the Capitol burned on Wednesday.

He also did some crowd work and roasted a couple in the front row for having different answers about kids and she was like I didn’t hear the question and was roasted about how not hearing questions you don’t want to answer is certainly a tactic, often used by drug dealers

He also had a bit about how different child rearing is in Texas versus New York and about how hitting your kids is treated differently, like his dad would have just threatened it whimsically.

Now on to the Main Event!

The first thing he said was “hiiiiiiiiii” exactly in the tone you think he said it in. he followed that up with a little shrug looking adorable and a little bashful

“It’s him! Mr. Problems. Oh Las Vegas, Oh my god” he then talks about how Vegas is a land of vice and a Choice for him to preform in as a recovering addict. He had a sober buddy and 3 bodyguards with him at all times.

“And here’s what happened” December 18, 2020, he gets invited to a friends apartment for dinner AND HE’S TWO HOURS LATE because he stopped, coked out of his mind, at SNL for a haircut because he still had his building access badge and he went to the hair department and they were like, he’ll leave faster if we just do this, and then he stopped at his drug dealers.

He called venmo and cashapp, apps for drug deals and was like what do normal people even use them for. He maxed both out paying for drugs.

He was the best looking person at his intervention. “Coke skinny, new cut” and the 12 people intervening looked like shit. He looked “tears for fears while they all looked jerry garcia” (I hope you know who those musicians are besties).

He immediately yelled “Can I go to the bathroom” to you know, dump his drugs because when you walk into that, you know what it is.

He was not allowed to go (he would be asked if he still needed to pee later and would say “what?”

There were 6 people in NYC and 6 people over zoom in LA because he guesses 6 people couldn’t be bothered to fly in for HIS INTERVENTION

Interventions can go two ways, it can be kind of accusatory and this is how you let us all down, or it can be supportive. Everyone but Nick Kroll got the memo to be supportive.

Nick Kroll went first.

Nick Kroll listed all the ways John was a bad best friend and brother over zoom and John was getting texts during the intervention saying Nick wasn’t supposed to do that and they were all sorry.

Bill Hader went next. he originally wasn’t going to be able to make it so he had recorded a thing but since he was there, he did it live. (He would eventually send the video to John in rehab, which is not what you want on the way to rehab “awesome, more intervention”)

He tried to derail the intervention, “there’s not enough latinx representation” he said he’d go to any rehab except the one they had picked out for him. This was a star-studded affair and he was mad no one was being funny.

Natasha Lyons went next, telling him his life and career is in shambles

So he gets carted off to rehab after this intervention. Don’t let 12 comedians pack your bags for 2 months at rehab. it was bombas socks and iphone chargers.

A little secret about rehab, you’re not allowed to bring drugs in. You remember how he was late? In his pocket on the way to rehab included: a huge amount of pills, 3g of coke (which was 2g by the time he got there, courtesy of a koala station in a gas station bathroom), and $2000 in cash. He had other plans for the weekend. He was admitted for xanax, coke, perocet, and adderall addiction. Say what you will, but he does not do anything half way.

It’s 4am when he’s sent to detox, he’s been awake for 3 days.

He also gives a small lesson on how to get drugs. Find the lowest rated doctors on yelp and webmd reviews and go ask for them, they need all the business they can get. You become like Captain Phillips, I am the doctor now.

Dr. Michael was his shady doctor. He was a first avenue apartment where he would write prescriptions from his kitchenette where his girl Minerva was always asleep. “I didn’t kill my wife Minerva.” But John would ask for his drugs, Dr. Michael would write the script and then ask what he needed it for. Dr. Michael would also make John take his shirt off, always offering a flu shot and going no, shirt all the way off (in case you were wondering how bad this addiction actually was)

The first moral is now you know. The second moral is get vaccinated.

He’s sent to the regular ward the next afternoon and they finally get him to sleep.

He’s sketched out that doctors have last names at this establishment

He asks for drugs such as klonopin and is taken aback a bit when he doesn’t get them. The doctor is like PA state law says no, and so John suggests they go to a CVS in Jersey to get some.

His bestie Pete Davidson starts calling that night. Except Pete changes his number every month and a half so John has him send a selfie and saves the new number under some other random name, at this point in time, Pete is saved as Al Pacino. (We get an Al Pacino impression) John is asleep and his nurse sees Al Pacino trying to call him 5 times and so she wakes him up.

Pete Davidson and John Mulaney did not do drugs together. (The author is lowkey surprised and sad about that, like if Pete was my bestie, we’d make so many poor choices) But Pete was always very supportive of his sobriety.

John needs recognition so badly, in group when they introduced themselves he said “I’m John M.” and no one cared. So he left a tabloid out with the news of his admittance and his face on it in the rec room on the table. The not being someone was “driving him bananas.” When they talked about what they do for a living and he said I’m a a stand up comedian, someone asked if he made a living that way. He said “yeah ask your daughter” (or your son)

One of the things you do at rehab is break up with your drug dealer.

One of his drug dealers only bought drugs to keep John from buying worse off the streets and only got into the game because John kept asking him for drugs and was his only buyer. That guy was originally a painter and John has no idea how they met. John is the only person to turn an innocent man into a drug dealer.

Here he did the Baby J is back baby joke. the Park Theater is one of the biggest stages in the world so he did that joke in one pace across the stage and said the stage is that joke long.

“I am no longer on drugs. It’s very good but also ah---” He’s in a 12 step anonymous group.

“I need attention, clearly.” After a show you think he would be sated, but no.

He wants that attention that the kid who’s grandparent died and showed up to school dressed for the funeral and got to sit in the beanbag chair for reading despite it not being his turn, gets. He went on about being willing to let one of the lesser important grandparents die so he could get attention, for quite a while.

He feels left behind in science, like his C’s and D’s in those classes. All those classes were was putting things on a windowsill for the janitor to throw away. He had a bit about how the fuck people put dinosaurs back together, it’s like getting wayfair furniture without the instructions.

He also things the moon belongs to America. Like we got there first and when other countries say stuff about the moon he’s like mmmmmmm.

He also had a joke about paying to get into college and like, for white people that’s always how it’s been.

The show ended with him going over the highlights of that GQ interview that he was so coked out for that he forgot he did it entirely. He has no memory of it at all. He was just called up that day and asked for an interview and you know how coke is the best drug to receive attention on? He just did whatever he wanted with that attention.

And that was the show.

#John Mulaney #john mulaney: from scratch #spoilers #kid gorgeous #The Comeback Kid #The Top Part #New In Town #show write up

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leafs-lover · 3 years

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If he's lucky I'll let him join

Prologue: Not Enough

Series List

A/N: This is the prologue and is written from Auston’s POV. Auston mentioned in one video chat that he had a friend who plays in Europe that was staying with him during quarantine (that’s who Trevor is, but he is only briefly mentioned). This starts the day he met Katie (August 2019) and ends with the night in May 2020.

Warnings: A little fluff at the beginning, angst, swearing, drinking and smut (m + f oral, fingering, sex and complete and utter dominance by Freddie), voyeurism

Word Count: 8000

It was a hot Arizona day; you could already feel beads of sweat developing at your roots under your hat. It was barely 10am, but it was already nearing 100°F, and it was only going to get hotter. Walking in and taking off your Oakley’s it took a few seconds for your eyes to the change in lighting.

You weren’t even sure she was real at first, the way the light filtered through the large windows and kissed her skin. Her long hair tied behind her head flowing down her back, bright blue eyes staring back at you. But the thing you noticed first was her smile. God her smile was captivating.

Standing there talking to her twenty minutes after she had handed you your drink, you just kept trying to make her laugh, hoping to get a glimpse of her smile one more time. The two of you exchanged numbers and started hanging out. You didn’t even play the “Auston Matthews hockey player” card with her. She didn’t even know until one day a few weeks later you were picking her up after practicing in Phoenix and she saw the hockey sticks in the car. And even then she didn’t seem too phased by it.

You only had about 5 weeks with her before having to leave for training camp, but they were the best five weeks. She would spend her days off by your pool, her boxer Carlos swimming around. There were countless sleepovers and impromptu dates.

One day you picked her up after work and she dragged you into a vintage shop. Forcing you to try on ridiculous outfits and even finding a monocle for one of them. Blue feather boa around your neck, black top hat on your head with your arm over her shoulder while she was in a blue coloured 1950‘s dress that had a poodle skirt. It was the most ridiculous you had looked, but Katie had never looked better. She didn’t hesitate to pull your phone from your pocket and snap a few pictures, one them even ended up as your lock screen for a little bit.

She took you to her favourite spot, a two hour hike through the desert that lead to a lookout. There was rolling hills with winding roads and it overlooked Scottsdale. You also took her to your favourite sunset spot. Your roof.

You had taken a few girls up there before, your roommate Trevor used to tease you about it but it was different with Katie. The two of you stayed up there for hours, long after the sun had set and the stars had come out. You talked about anything and everything, only going inside after her third yawn in 15 minutes. Only then did you realize it was after 2am.

Leaving for the season you’d still text a few times a week, facetime and even sent flowers when her dog was sick. You wished you met her sooner; you had driven by that café every day going to the rink, why didn’t you ever stop by before? Those five weeks just went by too quick.

Everything with her seemed to be going well, and maybe at some point there could be a future for the two of you. Katie had just gotten out of a relationship a few months before meeting you and wasn’t looking for anything too serious. You remember thinking that maybe after next summer where you would have three months to spend together it could be better. Maybe she would be ready then.

Even still you carried on with the season slowly finding yourself with less time to chat. Instead of facetiming twice a week, it turned to once a week and then every other. Lying in bed awake at night you sometimes find yourself scrolling through the pictures on your phone, reliving those moments.

Meeting Y/N she instantly reminded you of Katie. Maybe it was her smile, or maybe it was her laugh. But there was warmth about her, a familiarity. You were instantly brought back to the clothing shop, and the nights on your roof. You remembered all those mornings waking up before Katie, her hair a mess wearing nothing but your t-shirt as she snored lightly beside you.

Leaving the party that night you called her, wanting to hear her voice. You stayed up probably an hour later than you should have just listening to her laugh on the other end of the phone. You even managed to find a few days where she could come down and you got Y/N out of your mind after that.

Weeks went by and you didn’t think of Y/N, even when you saw her at dinner with Fred. You quickly realized that everything you were feeling for Y/N was just lust; there was no real emotional connection with her.

Seeing her at Early Mercy you told yourself it was just the dress, Katie had a similar one she had worn when she visited. But you weren’t entirely sure you believed it. It was weird how one smirk and your hands on Y/N’s hips had brought everything rushing back. Like a dam being opened up, you found yourself once again thinking of two women.

But before you could process what you were feeling for Y/N. What was real, what was tricks your mind was playing on you, the league shut down and you were back in Scottsdale with Fred and Trev. The three of you lounging by the pool, having relaxing days with Felix, even hitting up the golf courses a few times.

Katie, being a barista, she wasn’t considered essential and you got to spend some time with her during the lockdown. It started with just a night or two together each week, and slowly you found her and Carlos over at your place more often.

Not able to take her out you ordered in a couple dinners but Fred and Trevor would be there too. Living together and all. You had said hi to Y/N a couple times while Fred Facetimed with her, but overall you didn’t talk to her a lot. Your feelings for Y/N went away as your feelings for Katie re-emerged.

You still got the idea Katie wasn’t looking for anything too serious. Sometimes lying in bed with her wrapped in your arms you thought you were the only person in her world. But then there were other moments you felt the complete opposite, just a small piece of her life.

She would leave and you wouldn’t hear from her for days. She would send you a couple texts and then it would be radio silence for hours. When she was with you she kept her phone on tight wraps, quickly reacting to alerts. She often would walk out of the room for phone calls, coming back saying he mom or sister said hi. It could be nothing, but given how you have done those exact things to women before it made you think there was something else going on.

But you really realized she still wasn’t looking for anything serious when she not so subtly hinted about threesomes. You knew she had done them in the past, mostly with one guy and another girl. But she told you about one night in college when she got drunk with her roommate and two guys.

Her and her roommate ended up hooking up a bit in front of the two guys. They sat there watching while they stripped the others clothes off and fooled around a bit. Her roommate ended up falling asleep and Katie almost kicked the guys out but changed her mind at the last minute.

She told you how she fooled around with both of them for hours. The alcohol in her blood led to her first threesome with two men and she described it as her favourite night. Not long after that she met her ex and they were together for a few years but he had no interest in anything like that so she didn’t participate in any more. Now that she was single she made it known she was very open to more. With two guys, with another girl, it didn’t seem like it mattered.

It started so slowly you didn’t even notice. She would not so subtly ask “where is Trev” when he was out getting groceries. Then she would get a little too close while offering to help him with dinner.

A week ago after a few drinks she was very obviously flirting with Fred in your kitchen. She slowly ran her fingers over his wrist asking about his watch, her body almost pressed against him. The next day she asked him to rub sunscreen on her back and pulled her hair to expose her skin but you were only 10 ft. away. Her not so discreet winks left little to the imagination and Fred noticed.

But both times he brushed her off saying he had to go call his mom even though it was the middle of the night in Denmark. And Trevor would wander away mumbling about working out. After the sunscreen incident the two of you had a major fight and you didn’t see her for almost a week.

Earlier today Trevor left to go to his parents for a week and Fred was out with some girl he had been talking to. You invited Katie over and everything seemed to be going well. She apologized for flirting with your friends, saying it wouldn’t happen again and you apologized for blowing up about it.

The two of you fell back into easy conversation. Watching as Carlos swam in the pool and Felix panicked from the safety of the concrete. He ran around the perimeter of the pool barking at Carlos, he even tried to reach out to get him and fell and you had to scoop him out. But that didn’t stop Felix from trying to “save” Carlos again; he managed to fall in the pool two more times before you all went inside.

After dinner Carlos and Felix are curled up on the couch together. Carlos seems impartial to Felix, but Felix is absolutely enamored with him, becoming his shadow for his entire visit.

Katie is up in your room on the phone with her sister who is in Michigan when you hear the front door open. Shoes are haphazardly kicked off followed by his footsteps down the hall, neither dog even lifting their heads too tired from the fun during the day.

Walking into the kitchen Fred opens the fridge quickly twisting the cap off a beer. Glancing to the stove you see it’s 1030. Sitting at the bar he tells you about his night, you weren’t expecting him until tomorrow morning. He starts ranting about some bullshit drama the girl started and how he is done with her, doesn’t want the headache.

He asks if you want to go out to a bar for a drink, saying he can use a change in scenery. Restrictions are beginning to lift in Arizona, bars and restaurants opening up with partial capacity. He doesn’t know Katie is upstairs. How could he? She arrived after he left.

You respond by telling him that it’s a Tuesday, nothing will be that busy. But you know that it’s not really alcohol he is after, there is plenty in the house. He is seeking a distraction for the night. Brushing him off he accepts your lie and sits at the island, further diving into his night.

“Someone here?” he asks pulling the beer to his lips. Katie must have dropped something, your bedroom being right above the kitchen and it echoes off the hardwood.

“Yeah Katie” you say dismissively, when you see the spark hit his eye. The wheels in his brain beginning to turn and you knew exactly the path they were heading. You two have shared women before, and your eyes got that same glimmer in them when the idea crossed your mind.

Only difference the last two were his girls, Emily and Sarah. Sarah was a random girl he had only known for a few weeks; someone Fred said there was no future and was just having fun with.

And Emily met him in Toronto. A few nights later she approached you at a different bar. When you invited her out for drinks a few weeks later with some of the guys she played dumb like she didn’t know you and Fred were friends, but you both quickly realized what she was after. He had no attachment or desire for anything further with either woman.

But up until recently you thought Katie was different. You thought there could be something, although she did just reiterate the fact she doesn’t want a relationship about 2 hours ago.

“Yeah?” he asks smugly raising an eyebrow. “Think she wants to have some fun tonight?”

Those words sting. One you knew she was already going to have fun with you. But two, you knew he was only asking because he knows she is into it. He wouldn’t ask if he genuinely thought Katie had no interest.

“I don’t know man” you sigh. Looking up you are met with his dark brown eyes eagerly waiting for you to catch on “I’ll go ask” you finally say.

Walking to your bedroom you almost considered not knocking, telling Fred she said no and ushering him out before she even knew he was there. But you also know Katie wants this, and you want her to be happy.

Slowly opening your bedroom door you see the bathroom door is closed, a flicker of light under the door frame. Sighing you sit on the bed and wait for her to come out; hoping she is in her pajama’s with her makeup off and ready for bed. Instead when that door opens you see her hair still flowing down her back. Tight dark jean short and a white tank top that your surprised can even stay buttoned up, her tits barely fitting inside. Your dick twitches at the sight, just as it had when she walked in your door earlier in the afternoon.

“Hey” she smiles walking over to you. She stops in front of your legs, hands resting on your shoulders as you get lost in her floral perfume. Leaning down her lips brush against yours, her hands tangling into your hair as she straddles you on the bed, a deep groan getting caught in her throat.

You want nothing more than to throw her onto her back and dominate her for the next few hours. Tie her up and make her scream your name time after time again. But you don’t, and she can sense your hesitation.

“What’s up” she pulls away slightly her lips moving to your jaw and neck.

“Fuck” you groan getting lost in her touch tilting your head for her. She smiles at your response and you allow her to continue for a minute before pulling back. “I gotta talk to you about something” you reluctantly whisper.

“Hmm” she doesn’t even pull back, clearly one thing on her mind.

“Fred” you choke out “he came back and had an idea…” you trail off as her teeth sink into your neck and she grinds her clothed core over your dick. “He umm” you can barely focus as she continues to pepper kisses along your neck, gently sucking on your ear lobe. “He wanted to know if you wanted a threesome” you practically whisper out the end out that sentence.

You aren’t even sure if she heard you because she doesn’t stop, grinding her hips down further. “Yeah?” she finally mumbles against your neck “what do you think about that?” You know she is only checking in with you given how you spent 40 minutes discussing her openly hitting on your friends, if you hadn’t of fought over it she probably would have accepted the offer by now.

“It’s up to you” you groan hands gently gripping the back of her thighs.

“Mhm” she muses “but do you want to?”

That question makes your stomach churn. You want to do it for Katie, for Fred even. But if you are only thinking about yourself the answer is no. Literally any other girl you would have no problem with. But the thought of Fred fucking Katie makes you nauseous.

“Yeah” you say softly and she smiles wide quickly bringing her lips to yours. The kiss is full of passion and heat, and you know her answer long before she tells you. Her tongue swipes the inside of your mouth, her breasts pressing against your chest.

“You better go get Fred then” she whispers bringing her lips back to yours.

Quickly flipping her she lands on her back with a loud squeal, a sound guaranteed to make your dick throb. Your mouth quickly attaches to her neck before dipping lower, your tongue swipes along the crescent of her breasts and you leave some open mouth kisses. You hope she pulls you down closer, not letting you leave, too caught up in the moment. That her legs wrap around your waist and she pins you on top of herself. Instead she giggles and gives your shoulders a playful push and you pull away.

She shoots you a playful wink and you saunter off, finding Fred exactly where you left him. At the island, his beer almost gone. His eyes perk up when he hears you, and he smirks when you give him a nod toward your bedroom.

Silently the two of you make your way to the bedroom and a huge part of you hopes she is waiting to tell you she changed her mind. Instead you see her sitting on the end of the bed, stripped from her clothes in nothing but a matching white lace bra and panty set.

Fred mutters a low fuck and you can see his eyes raking over body. Following the valley of her breasts down her stomach to her core that you can only assume is soaked. You swallow so hard at the sight you think she could see your Adams apple pop from your throat, or your dick throbbing in your pants.

“Hey Fred” she says breathlessly walking over to the two of you. She stops at you first and pulls you down for a kiss. You are slow and cautious while she is full of heat and need. Gripping your hands she brings them around her body to her ass, encouraging you to get a huge handful while her arms lock around your neck. She pulls you down, her back arching as her tongue dances in your mouth.

The two of you are locked in a heated kiss, you continuing to firmly squeeze her ass. Her fingers gently tangle into your locks, your hat falling to the floor. For a moment you forget Fred is there, getting lost in Katie’s touch. A slight groan gets caught in her throat and the two of you pull away gasping for air. She smirks feeling your bulging erection in your denim and brings her thumb to the side of your lip to wipe away some lip gloss smeared around your lips.

Taking two steps she walks over to Fred who without hesitation has a hand on the back of her neck. Tangling into her hair he pulls her face forward their lips crashing into the others. She moans into the kiss and he walks her backwards to the bed. Her knees hit, his hands are on her back slowly lowering her onto the mattress.

Once on the bed, his knees on either side of her he pulls back pealing his shirt off. He throws it right at you, a little extra touch. Nonetheless you throw it on the floor, quickly followed by yours. You watch her eyes light up taking in his broad shoulders and the curves of his stomach muscles. It’s not that she hasn’t seen him without a shirt by the pool but this time it’s different.

Fred has a wide grin on his face as her hands begin to wander over his body, starting on his chest before sliding around to his back. Eventually they stop, tugging on the roots of his hair and one knee bends. The two of them are locked in a staring match, eyes never faltering. His hand finds the back of her thigh and gently runs up it, cupping her ass in the process.

“You know I hear you at night” he says and a blush immediately hits her cheek and turning her head away slightly. “No need to be embarrassed it’s hot.” He ducks down his tongue tracing the valley of her breasts, the spot where your lips were mere moments ago. You wonder if he can taste you on his tongue.

“I kind of want to make those sounds come out of you first” his fingers begin to trail up the inside of her thigh and her head falls back. His thick fingers begin stroking over her clothed core and you almost see her entrance quiver at the touch as he pops his head up to look at her face. “What do you say you let me pull those filthy moans from you first, and then we let him join?”

Undoing your belt, the buckle landing on the floor captures her attention. Her bright blue eyes find yours and you desperately tried to plead with her to not let that happen. You can’t imagine having to helplessly watch. Before she has a chance to read your face his fingers press further into her clothed core and a breathy "yes" falls from her lips.

You stand there button and zipper undone but completely frozen. You can see the smirk hit his face as her eyes flutter closed as he sinks his teeth into her collarbone. Your pants slip out your grasp and end up on the floor in a pile around your ankles, staring as his fingers slip under the lace and slowly work her open.

“You should go sit Auston” his head nods to the chair in the corner. “We’ll let you know when we want you.”

You have never wanted to throw Fred against a wall until that moment, and if it wasn’t for Katie’s moan you would have. Stepping out of your jeans you walk over to the chair, a perfect angle for you see everything he does to her.

Pulling his fingers out, he lifts her hips and drags the white lace down her legs. Her hands trail down his chest, gently digging in to his hip.

“Like what you see baby” he asks unclasping her bra.

She doesn’t muster a response, instead pulling her bottom lip through her teeth and giving him a slight nod. He slowly slides his fingers inside of her scissoring her open. You see the two digits curl upward and start to slide in and out. Immediately you can tell she is soaked from the sounds coming between her legs.

His fingers slide in and out with ease, his mouth quickly finding her breast. Her breathing gets deeper and Fred continues to suck and swirl her breast in his mouth.

Her first one always takes a bit of work, but once she had one the second always quickly follows. Tonight is no different, Fred could go faster, and she likely would have gotten there by now, instead he is relishing in every moan, groaning when she grinds her hips down on his digits.

Glancing to the clock it’s been well over 15 minutes of you watching his fingers slide in and out. 15 minutes of her moaning. 15 minutes of you being painfully hard watching everything unfold. 15 minutes until her breathing switches.

You want to be mad at Fred still for making you sit in the corner like a kid on time out, but that hitch in her throat catches your attention and his. He doesn’t stop, continuing his slow but firm pace as she continues to pant his name more erratically. Her knuckles on the duvet are white from clenching it so hard, and finally you see her pussy flutter.

Even from a few feet away it is glorious to watch. Walls contracting around his fingers, white spilling around his digits, curse words tumbling off her lips. In that moment it didn’t matter she hadn’t looked to you for ages, she hadn’t muttered your name. Seeing that, knowing her veins were flooded with euphoria, nothing seems to matter to you anymore.

And once her legs stop trembling that feeling doesn’t leave. You watch Fred’s fingers increase their speed searching for her second orgasm. When this all started you were very uneasy almost nauseous but now your dick is twitching in your boxers and all you want is to watch her have another. To watch her fall apart again.

Her fingers release the handful of the duvet and find his hair firmly gripping his red roots. His thumb connects to her clit and begins to harshly press circles into it. Sensing her second orgasm is near you shifted to the edge of your seat, wanting the best view possible.

And then it happens, her second one in a matter of minutes. Her legs trembled as he fucks his fingers in and out of her. The only sound is her breathlessly moaning his name. Even though it wasn’t your name it sent a fire through you.

Just as you reach for the elastic of your boxers, Fred pulls back. You stop thinking maybe this is your moment, finally you can join. Instead he pulls his pants and boxers off in one quick motion.

Katie’s eyes go wide at the sight before her. The look you are used to seeing on woman’s faces when they first meet Fred’s cock, sometimes they still have that look on the third or fourth time. And it’s not that you are small by any means, you are very long

Fred is also long, but he is incredibly thick.

Some women are shocked when they see Fred, others are scared. But not Katie. Katie looks excited about what awaits her. She quickly flips him onto his back with a giggle and begins to adjust herself between his thighs when he calls her up whispering something in her ear.

Glancing over to you with a smirk she nods slightly at whatever he whispers in her ear. She turns and adjusts herself sitting on his chest facing you as she begins to stroke over his shaft. Your eyes are locked on her dripping cunt; you can see some of the juices that have collected slowly falling onto Fred’s chest. Katie gives Fred a few more tugs before dropping her mouth down to him.

Slowly she runs her tongue up his shaft a few times before swirling her tongue around his throbbing tip, lapping up some of the precum that has oozed out. You can feel her magnificent mouth as if it’s on you even though its feet away. “Wanted to make sure you had the best view man” Fred mumbles but you can’t see him, Katie’s body blocking his face.

With a mischievous wink she wraps her mouth around him and your eyes almost roll to the back of your head. She begins to slowly bob on him, using her hand to help with what she can’t fit. As she becomes acquainted with his size she begins to bring her mouth lower taking more and more of him in. Her deep blue eyes never leaving yours.

Fred’s hands grip her hips and he begins to moan out her name.

“Fuck man” Fred groans directing that statement to you.

“Yeah she’s unbelievable with her mouth” you chuckle. “But just wait until you bury yourself in her man, her walls are like magic.”

“Fuck, can’t wait” he groans as she has taken his entire length. His hips buck up a few times thrusting further into her mouth causing her to gag. You have never felt so jealous watching Katie choke on your friends dick while her fingernails scraped down his inner thighs, just like she had done so many times with you.

All you can imagine is how fucking good it will be with her lips are finally on you. Your throbbing dick, oozing with precum. You are almost positive the second she touches you; you will come undone but you don’t care. Instead of anger you feel excitement and quickly pull your boxers off. Her eyes go wide seeing you sitting in the chair, cock painfully hair and waiting for her.

Nodding your eyes down to your dick in a “you want this” kind of way she smiles around him. His moans have turned into groans, and his breathing getting louder and you can tell he is getting close. He mumbles in Danish to her and she just hums in response and you almost lose yourself in the moment.

You think he is about to finish and shoot ribbon after ribbon down her throat. When that happens you know it will be your window to join in while he recovers. But instead he pulls her off gently tossing her onto the bed.

She lands beside him with an “umph” on her hands and knees and Fred is quickly behind her. Spreading her cheeks apart his eyes level with her glistening slick that has collected between her legs. He dives in mouth cleaning the juices that remain on her thighs before connecting to her folds.

Her head falls back, her long hair resting low on her back. Once his mouth connects to her entrance and his tongue slowly flicks inside her eyes snap shut and her breathing deepens. Every time he presses in further her entire body jolts forward before she finally can’t support herself and falls to her elbows.

“Katie baby” you say surprised your voice doesn’t crack. “Open your eyes for me.”

A deep seeded chuckle falls from the man behind her and she whimpers in response. You can tell she is close, and the closer she gets the harder it is for her to keep her eyes open. But she tries. His nose will press in a little further and her eyes will flutter shut. He pulls back and they open wide.

“I’m gonna cum” she barely manages to whisper before her head lands on the mattress and Fred groans behind her. You bring your eyes to her core and see some of her juices spilling around his mouth, as strangled moans get caught in her throat.

“God you taste like heaven” Fred pulls back wiping his face clean of the liquid coating his beard. His index finger slowly rubs over her entrance and she shudders at the touch.

“Please” she whimpers her body jolting forward trying to have a few moments of relief.

“What do you want baby?” Fred smirks continuing to stroke over her core and she tries to squirm from his touch. For the first time in twenty minutes you feel some anger hearing him call her that. You call her baby. And he knows it.

“I need a minute” she squirms as he starts to slowly press two fingers back inside her core.

“You sure baby?” he pumps his thick digits a few more times. “I hear you with him” his fingers dipping out of your view “doesn’t sound like he gives you a minute.”

He pulls his fingers out and climbs off the bed pulling her with him by her hips. Once at the edge he bends one knee onto the bed, his tip pressing at her core. Fred looks up and gives you a wink and he guides himself in.

“Ungh” she groans as he slides inside her walls very slowly pressing his length inside her. Her mouth opens into a silent “O” her scream getting caught in her lungs. Watching her get stretched by your best friend almost makes you explode all over your chest. Your hand wraps around your length and you begin to stroke yourself, using your thumb to spread around the precum that has been oozing out.

“Fuck you’re so big-it’s too much” she groans pulling away.

“I’m not even halfway in yet” he says smugness rolling off his tongue. You shake your head and you can see the tears pricking her eyes. His hands fists her hips and he continues to guide himself in, further stretching her walls around his length and her eyes close shut.

Finally her ass hits his pelvis and he stops fully seethed in her warmth. He gives her a moment to adjust, rolling his hips slowly but not pulling back. You watch her eyes slowly flutter open, blinking back the few tears that are stinging her eyes.

With a sharp inhale she pulls forward slightly. Fred picks up on her movements and slowly pulls back before the two of them close the gap with their bodies. You continue to tug on yourself, fully engaged in the scene in front of you.

“Fuck” she hisses and Fred stops for a moment. “No don’t stop” she whimpers turning her head to look back at him.

With a dark grin he snaps his hips slowly rocking in and out of her. “You’re so fuckin tight-fuck you feel so good” his voice is low and husky, but it makes her whimper again. He pulls her back onto his cock. Harder and deeper than before. Reaching in front of her she clenches around the duvet her eyes slowly find yours.

“Freddie” she moans and your hand stops. Your blood boils at how his name sounds coming off her lips. It sounds good, too good.

Upon hearing his names Fred reaches forward to grab her by the neck pulling her up against his sweaty chest. He doesn’t tighten his hand on her neck instead using it to hold her in place as he continues to thrust in and out of her.

“Oh Freddie right there” she moans her breath ragged as his cock slides in and out of her dripping pussy. He sinks his teeth into her shoulder, but looks to you through his lashes. You think it’s your time to join; it’s been the two of them for almost an hour. Standing up the chair slides on the floor and Katie’s open at the sound. With every step you take to the bed Fred’s eyes follow you.

His hand slides down from her neck to her nipple and he pulls it through his fingers. Katie gasps while his teeth sink into the flesh on her neck. “What do you think baby” he mumbles sucking a hickey against her neck. “Think it’s his turn yet” he thrusts his hips and her head falls back against his shoulder “I thought we were still having fun.”

“Yes” she groans. Looking at her face you can immediately tell she is barely hanging on, her orgasm hovering on the edge.

“Yes what baby” he runs his tongue over the marks that he has left behind, the marks that litter her collarbone.

“We’re still having fun Fred” she groans when his teeth harshly bite her neck. Fred eyes over to the chair in the corner but you don’t move glaring into his dark brown eyes. He can’t be fucking serious you think to yourself.

It has never been like this. Neither one of you has spent more than five minutes with a woman when the other was there, always sharing equally. But every woman up until this point has made an effort for both of you.

Emily stopped giving Fred a blowjob and walked over to you to pull you to the bed. She whispered in your ear how she wanted you to shove your fingers in her while she blew your best friend. And Sarah had the two of you lying on your backs beside one another and she would spend a few minutes riding one of you before switching to the other. But Katie is different; she is making zero effort to include you, as if she doesn’t even want you there.

His entire hand cups her breast and he continues to forcefully pound into her, her entire body jerking forward with each thrust. His eyes narrow and he pushes her forward so she lands on her hands, her mouth inches from your length.

You think you’ve won, that he has caved but instead he brings a hand up connecting it to her ass. You hear the sound echo through the room, her yelp almost immediately after while the skin of her ass ripples at the contact. You move closer and he brings his hand back slapping the same spot as before, her skin immediately turning red. When her body jolts forward her nose hits your shaft and you moan loudly finally getting some contact.

He soothes over the reddening skin a few times before connecting his hand to it again. The pistoning of his dick has her body jolting forward, each thrust firm and hitting her deep. The burning of her skin makes the tears start to fall down her cheeks. Your hand reaches for her face, your thumb wiping the few tears away.

She whimpers out a soft “please” and you aren’t even sure who she is talking to.

“I’ll stop if you tell him we’re still having fun baby” he says smugly slowing his pace but still driving into her cervix every time. Your eyes snap up and are met with 2 blown pupils. “Tell him it’s not his turn yet.”

Your eyes narrow at his words and you just shake your head. Pure rage coursing through your veins and you are tempted to push him off of her as he snaps his hips once more. Grinning he connects his hand to her ass one more time.

“I mean we both know she can take it, you’ve given her worse” she whimpers at his dominance tone as he aggressively drives into her. “Such. A. Little. Slut” Each word is accompanied by a forceful thrust and he finishes the sentence with another firm slap of the ass.

“Aus” she barely manages to whimper. Her barely audible voice captures your attention and you soothingly rub your thumb over her jaw. “Please” she whimpers practically begging you to stop.

The desperation in her voice is more than you can take. You know the longer you stand there the more he will punish her. It’s agitating how his dominance over Katie keeps you frozen to the sidelines. Keeping your eyes locked on his you take a few steps backwards. There is an arrogance plastered on his face knowing he won. His hand strokes over the red marks covering her ass while he resumes his fast pace once again.

The way her brow furrowed as he hits her deep, her mouth falls open with disbelief, you find yourself bubbling with envy. Katie’s makeup is a mess, mascara running down her cheeks lipstick smeared. Beads of sweat roll down Fred chest while Katie’s moans get louder. Each of his thrusts is accompanied by a moan.

“I can’t” she whines falling further into the bed, her cheek hitting the mattress as her back arches more for him.

Hearing the pleading in her voice, her incoherent sounds, it’s normally all it takes for you to come undone. Finally you notice Fred getting sloppy in his thrusts but he keeps going sensing she is close. She begs him to finish that she can’t handle it but he gives her a couple deep thrusts causing her to squirt all over his cock.

You look away as she screams out, unable to focus. That sound and sight is something you used to relish in, but you have never been so disappointed to see it happen. Disappointed it’s not you. Disappointed she doesn’t want it to be you.

You hear him mumble in Danish behind her before his hips still having spilled in the condom. You are so agitated you can’t even think of your throbbing erection.

He pulls out and falls onto his back pulling her into his chest. They are both breathless and clammy with sweat as he gently rubs a hand over her arm. He begins talking softly in her ear, you only picking up bits and pieces. You hear him ask if she is okay, if she needs anything as he brushes his lips against her temple lightly, Katie only moaning in response.

Stalking off to the bathroom you run a cloth under the tap. Once in the bedroom you toss the towel at Fred, landing at his chest. You see the look on his face but don’t bother to wait any longer, bitterly walking to your dresser and pull out a t-shirt for Katie.

Turning around you almost walk directly into Fred’s body. Gripping your elbow he holds you in place “you okay man” he asks.

“Yeah fine” you reply harshly. Glancing around to Katie she is lying on her back, completely fucked out. A slight moan falls from her lips as you see her breathing begin to steady.

“I’m really sorry man” he turns his attention to Katie at her moan “I don’t know what happened –“ he trails off knowing he overstepped.

“I said it’s fine Fred” you refuse to meet his gaze.

“Tony come on man” he tries to reason “I’m really sorry” he is cut off by a whimper leaving Katie as she rolls onto her side.

“I gotta” you run your hand through your hair. “There’s nothing to worry about. I gotta take care of her, have a good night man.”

He releases your elbow but doesn’t move watching you walk over to Katie bending down in front of her at the side of the bed. You run your hand through her hair, brushing her hair behind her ears. Fred lingers by your dresser for a little bit watching the exchange between you too.

“Hey Kat” you smile when you catch a glimpse of her bright blue eyes.

“Hey” she mumbles groggily, eyes heavy and struggling to stay open.

“Sit up for a sec” she reluctantly obliges and you pull your shirt over her head placing a soft kiss to her forehead. When she loses her energy and falls into the bed you notice Fred has slipped out of the room.

In the shower cold water rolls down your back as you run through tonight. You run through the last 9 months at that, every interaction with Katie. You want to be mad at Fred, but you can’t.

He had no idea how you felt about her. Yes you spend time with her, but you’ve spent time like this with women back in Toronto not meaning anything. There was a girl you kept in contact with for almost two seasons, hanging out with, bringing her to games. You brought her to a team party and even flew her down to Arizona for a few days but it never evolved into anything, he would have no way of knowing Katie was different to you. He actually asked about her a few weeks back and you said you aren’t anything serious.

It wasn’t a complete lie, Katie not looking for anything serious. But you mostly said it because he was wondering why she was blatantly flirting with him. It was more of a way for you to put him at ease over that situation because he was confused by it.

You spend way too much time in there, retracing every moment with Katie. You remember the day in the vintage clothing store, sunsets on your roof or the mornings laughing in bed. You remember the couple days she spent in Toronto. You woke up at 4am to no blankets only to find her in the living room standing at your oversized window wrapped in your duvet watching the snow fall. It was the first time in almost 4 years she had seen snow.

But then you remember why she was there, in Toronto. You only invited her because of Y/N. You had an amazing couple days with Katie, but only because you couldn’t stop thinking of Y/N. Wrapping your hand around your throbbing cock, you know you have to deal with it before bed. You think of Y/N and what she is doing back in Toronto as you tug on yourself. Hand wrapped around your cock you pump it before finally feeling your sticky warmth spill out and onto your hand.

Stepping into your bedroom you see Katie’s hair barely visible under the duvet and pillows. Carlos and Felix have migrated in to the room, and are curled up around her. There is a glass of water and a bottle of Advil on her bedside table that wasn’t there before, and the clothes that once littered the floor are in the hamper.

Fred.

“Hey” you say walking into the kitchen after a run a few days later.

“Hey” Fred pops his head around from the stove. “Hungry?”

You nod slightly and he gets a plate ready for you while you pour some water. You and him have talked over the past few days, played some video games and basically acted as if that night didn’t happen. Neither of you broaching the topic yet and because of that there is still some tension.

“I haven’t seen Katie around the past few days” he says bringing some eggs to his mouth.

You clear your throat taking a small sip of water “yeah I haven’t talked to her since” your eyes dart around the kitchen slightly. Taking an exhale you continue “the uh morning after.”

“We should talk about that night –“

“No Fred we don’t have to-“

“Auston seriously…just….I am sorry for how everything played out. I was in a mood and took complete control. But I shouldn’t have done that” his breathing gets uneasy for a moment and he trails off “it shouldn’t have happened like that. And if you’re upset it should be at me, not at her. Katie didn’t do anything. I’m the one that -”

“Fred” you interject turning to look at him. “I’m not upset about that. Like it sucked having to sit and watch but whatever not a big deal.”

“Kay ‘cause it feels weird. Like I can tell something is bugging you.”

“It’s nothing; I just don’t think Katie and I are going to see each other anymore.” Fred immediately stops eating setting his fork down to look at you. “We just want different things” you further explain.

“What?” he asks awkwardly.

“I liked her man” you finally admit to him and you can see him take in a deep exhale his eyes going wide. “But she doesn’t want to be anything more than –“

“Wait, why the fuck did you let me sleep with her if you like her?”

“After she hit on you and teeks I didn’t talk to her for a bit. When we finally did talk she told me she didn’t see anything more than what we have. I thought I was fine with it, you know she is a great girl so I thought I could be around her, keep doing what we’re doing. But then she kissed you.. I just can’t be around her feeling like I do knowing she doesn’t want more. It’s not your fault, has nothing to do with you.”

“Okay but why did you say yes if you felt that way?”

“It was glaringly obvious she wanted to do it” you laugh. “Besides figured might as well go out with a bang.”

“I feel like a big bag of shit” Fred groans clearing both your plates.

“Seriously Fred it’s not a big deal, it’s over and time to move on” you bring your hand to his shoulder and give him a light tap “I’m sure you’ll make it up somehow.”

Throwing his head back with a slight chuckle you give him a shove towards the sliding door, heading out to the pool.

#If he's lucky I'll let him join #auston matthews #auston matthews smut #Auston Matthews Fic #frederik andersen #frederik andersen fic #frederik andersen smut #Freddie Andersen Fic #Freddie Andersen #Freddie Andersen Smut #toronto maple leafs #Toronto Maple Leafs Fic #Toronto Maple Leafs Smut #nhl fic #nhl smut

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lorna-d-m · 3 years

Text

Lights Out: Chapter Four

Summary: Roxanne, recently graduated and unemployed, gets a call from her childhood friend and hero: her cousin James hunt. In need of a social media manager after one too many scandals, he can think of no one better than Roxanne for the position. Excited about a fun job and getting to know more about her cousin, she jumps at the chance. However, amongst all the bright lights of both the circuit and the media, Roxanne falls in love with his rival: Niki Lauda.

Pairing: Niki Lauda (Rush 2013) x fem!OC Roxanne Hunt

Word Count: 1750

T/W: language and it's definitely explicit now

A/N: I did not expect to finish this so soon after finishing ch. 3, but bon appetit babes. (It was going to be a part of ch. 3 and then I was like nah and now here we are) As usual, any mistakes are my own, let me know if you want to be added to the tag list, and if you're interested in being a beta reader let me know. <3 (Also I've never written smut before so if anyone has advice, give it please)

Previous chapter

South Africa, Kyalami Circuit

April 19th, 2020

Most of the drivers loved Kyalami. It had arguably the best clubhouse for them to hang out in, playing table tennis, soccer, and lounging by the pool until they needed to prepare for the race weekend. Because of this, many of them arrived early for the race, often a week ahead of schedule, to take a break. James Hunt was no exception. He loved the atmosphere at Kyalami. Located just outside of Johannesburg, he could spend all night out at a club or shacked up in a hotel room with a girl he met there, and in the afternoon he could shuffle around the clubhouse and join a match or go for a swim. It was the ideal situation for him.

Roxanne had been given the week off leading up to the race. They reasoned she could delete any post James made without being next to him, and it would be much better for her sanity if she didn’t accompany her cousin to every bar and club he found himself in. Some things were left better unseen and unheard.

This was fantastic news for Roxanne. As soon as she heard, she texted Niki to let him know it would be possible for them to finally get that dinner. They tried while still in Brazil, but regrettably, their schedules clashed and they never made it. He responded enthusiastically, saying his flight would land on Sunday morning and that it would be wonderful to have lunch.

Now, on that fateful day, Roxanne was panicking. Her suitcase was full of uniforms, pajamas, and only a handful of outfits to wear on days off. She wore the floral sundress when they went golfing together, and while she thought it was a great dress, she didn’t want to wear it again so soon. Sighing, Roxanne dug through the suitcase to find something else.

***

Niki arrived later in the morning than he intended, so he had to rush to set his bags in his room and get ready for his date. He rifled through his bag to find the cologne he wore last time and rearranged his hair before meeting her in the lobby. His face lit up when he saw her leave the elevator, and he drank in the cool blue of her shirt. It was refreshing to see her out of the black and white Hesketh uniform.

They didn’t tarry long in the lobby, only exchanging greetings and a brief discussion of plans before leaving. He was eager to start the drive into the city, and she followed him to the car. Niki held the door for her again, and she placed a quick kiss on his cheek before sitting in the car. “I see you got a car with tinted windows this time around,” she teased.

“Well, how could I not after the last time?” He fiddled with the air conditioning and the radio before making a displeased sound. “Ach, there’s never anything good on. Do you want to choose something?”

“Sure,” she pulled her phone out of her purse and started scrolling through her playlists. “Is there anything you would prefer?” Roxanne assumed he wouldn’t be a fan of her 2000s pop playlist she had been listening to on repeat lately.

He shrugged non-committedly as he maneuvered out of the parking lot, so she was left to decide by herself. Roxanne chose a simple mix of some of her favorites that she thought he might like. She connected her phone and pressed play, resisting the urge to see how he reacted when he listened to the music.

“Oh, Hozier.” A smile twitched on his lips. “How’d you know?”

“It just felt right.”

It just felt right. That was how it felt to Niki too. They made easy conversation on their way to the restaurant and all the while there. Sometimes they chatted away about everything and nothing, and sometimes they sat comfortably in the silence. Every time he used his biting wit, she was right there to match him. It was a back and forth, a give and take, that he relished. Roxanne enjoyed having a sparring partner as well who was unafraid to be blunt with her. She appreciated his no-bullshit attitude.

Despite being known as an asshole, Niki was a gentleman throughout their date. Sure, his eyes strayed too long at her neckline, and when she teased him about it he did not deny it, but he made up for it in other ways. Niki pulled out her seat for her, let her pick the wine to enjoy, and he paid for the meal despite her insistence to at least split it. He remembered there was an ice cream place or a frozen yogurt stand, he couldn’t recall which, down the street, and said if she insisted on paying for something she could do so there.

They got their desserts, with Roxanne teasing him endlessly for picking plain vanilla amongst all the choices, and sat at a little table under the awning. It was a busy street with plenty of passersby, but amongst all the people they were not Niki Lauda, Ferrari driver, and Roxanne Hunt, cousin and PA to James Hunt, but two people on a date. At one point she got ice cream on the corner of her lip without realizing it, and Niki licked it off, quickly turning it into a kiss. It was light and fun, completely different from their kiss days ago, but just as enjoyable.

***

“Mein Gott.”

Parked in the back of the hotel lot, tinted windows rolled up, Niki and Roxanne enjoyed what they did not in Brazil. He didn’t smell her perfume earlier in the day, but he inhaled it now as he traveled down her neck and to her chest. Sweet and intoxicating. As his lips trailed along her low neckline, his hands moved up her white skirt. He ran his calloused fingers along the lace edge of her underwear and smirked at her whimper. His eyes, blown wide with lust, locked with hers for a moment as his fingers explored the sensitive area.

“Already, you’re so excited,” he murmured with his lips still tantalizingly close.

She would have made some biting remark in response, something about how this car had tinted windows, but he inserted two fingers and curled them slightly, pressing against her front wall. The only thought in her head was to beg for more as the flushed feeling spread through her body.

Niki sensed her neediness, and he fed on it. He delighted in every noise she made and the clench around his fingers, and he wanted to hear more, feel more. The hand that wasn’t knuckle deep in her wandered up to unclasp her bra. With her breasts now freed, he placed tender kisses on them before nipping one of them just to hear how her breath would catch when he did. She fervently said his name when his thumb found her clit and started rubbing in slow circles.

Roxanne wasn’t sure if he was giving her everything she needed or taking it from her as he coaxed her higher and higher, his own arousal evident as it pressed into her thigh. His efforts doubled when she pulled on his curls, urging him for more. Niki gave it to her, eager to watch her fall apart under him. Roxanne felt like she was buzzing with electricity, lightning ready to strike at any second, and she cried out his name and pulled him closer when it did. He slowed his fingers down, not stopping, but easing her through her high, muttering how good she was and how beautiful she looked. She couldn’t remember any compliment he gave her before, but the way he called her an engel and pretty girl would stay in her head.

Niki stuck his fingers in his mouth to clean them off and enjoy the taste of her. When she felt like she could breathe again, Roxanne moved to unzip his jeans and bring him into her hand. He cursed, reveling in the way she stroked him.

“I have protection,” he said, his voice thick with lust. That morning Niki made sure to get a car with tinted windows and to put a condom in his pocket. He was glad he did.

Condom on, he carefully lined himself up. One hand clutched her hip, tight enough to leave little bruises in the shape of his fingers. He pushed in slowly, careful not to lose control or cause discomfort. Niki had warmed her up with his fingers, and she was plenty slick by now, but he was not a small man in length nor girth. The slow drag of him inside brought back the sizzling electricity in her, as she pulled his chest to hers.

He let out the sweetest of moans at the feel of her gripping him. Now it was Roxanne’s turn to see how she could make him whimper and groan as she tugged on his hair and pulled him in for a sloppy kiss. Slow but sure thrusts fueled the storm inside both of them. One of his hands still firmly held her hip while the other found her clit and started rubbing in time with his thrusts. Niki started sucking a mark on her breast, remembering how much she was embarrassed by the hickey on her neck only a few days ago. This one wouldn’t be visible. Once again begging him for more, he picked up speed as his head found the spot inside that made her see stars. Roxanne sobbed in pleasure, squeezing tight around him and bringing him to his own climax too.

“Scheisse.” Niki rested his head on her shoulder, reeling from the intensity of his high. They stayed there for a moment, panting and skin sticky from sweat until they felt ready to move.

“Niki,” she said quietly as he moved away from her.

“Yes, Schatz?”

“I think I made a mess of the seat.” The condom caught his orgasm, but it did nothing to stop the gush of her release that stained the seat.

He laughed at that, his head hitting the roof of the car. Her hair was in a tangle, her lipstick smudged on her lips, her bra undone and her skirt flipped up, but she worried about the car seat. “We’re a wonderful mess, Schetz.” She smiled too, seeing how flushed his cheeks still were and the traces of her lipstick across his face.

Next chapter

Tag list: @apparrio @scuttle-buttle

#daniel brühl niki lauda #rush 2013 #rush 2013 fanfic #niki lauda rush 2013 #niki lauda fanfiction #daniel brühl #lights out fic

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wishingicouldfly · 3 years

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hey, hope you’re doing well! i just fell down a rabbit hole of stalking antis on instagram (why did i do this to myself) and found one account that’s actually kinda convincing, this is the link - https://instagram.com/cult_behaviour?utm_medium=copy_link. you can block it out or something if you don’t want others to see bc i get it but what do you think? like clearly some of the proofs we use and talk about are actually just manipulated :/ what if this is all fake? like what if the coincidences are really just coincidences😭

Hi anon,

I hope you're having a great day. First of all, don't stalk antis. It will only bring you sadness, and you don't deserve that. Music is supposed to bring you joy.

You're right, there are absolutely things that I've seen in "Larry Proof" videos that are debunked or manips. I'm always a bit annoyed when I spot a manip or a misleading subtitle in a video that is supposed to be "fact" or proof. For example, "always so obvious" by Liam...he's saying "always golfing" talking about Niall--and that one goes around a lot.

And some coincidences are just coincidences, I'm sure. Though, with these two, it's hard to believe in coincidences at all, if I'm honest.

But it doesn't matter. Repeat after me, IT DOESN'T MATTER.

Under the cut...

If it was just a couple of things or some pictures of two friends touching and that was it, I might be inclined to agree that it could be all coincidence. However...

The songs, the coded clothing, the tattoos, the touches, the looks/glances, the song lyrics Harry tweeted in the early days, the way their families interact, the damn rainbow bears, the fact that Harry wears clothing called Louis, the sheer volume of coincidences over the course of 11 years. Taken separately, maybe it looks like coincidence. But there are just some things that can't be explained away as two heterosexual tactile boys interacting with a best friend. Have you seen the way they touch each other when they don't realize the camera is filming. There is literally NOTHING else that makes sense when you take all of it together. They got together young and they stayed together.

When you feel weak, go back to 2010 and watch the boys on the stairs. They don't interact with each other the same way they interact with the other boys. Fast forward to 2015, sitting on the couches during MITAM promo, talking like an old married couple. Fast forward to 2020, sharing clothing STILL. Dogs barking in the back of interviews. Harry making horse noises as he tries to make up a lie about Sweet Creature. The way the tours are arranged around each other. The color blue so prominent. The freaking big ass H on Louis shirt in December and Harry's tattoos as his Spotify cover art in 2021.

Anyone not seeing the ginormous pattern and neon sign indicating that these two are still going strong after all these years, isn't looking or is willfully ignoring the signs.

Instead of looking at anti rhetoric, I suggest the following:

1. I recommend @cosmicleeds on YouTube for some amazing videos of timelines. (https://www.youtube.com/c/cosmicleeds/videos)

2. Also, you can dig through some archives made by @freddiesmyqueen (https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_G0s5jM13gumw4y43fluxGyf_x7RZeFO).

3., On Tumblr, you can sift through amazing lyric analysis and Larry observations by @bluewinnerangel, @skepticalarrie, @twopoppies @bulletprooflarry

Have a great day--Happy Larrying. As someone once said, I'll only stop Larrying when Harry and Louis stop.

#stay away from the antis #Harry styles #louis tomlinson #anon answer

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1ddotdhq · 4 years

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👋 Wed Aug 26 🎉

Aaaannnndddd we’re back! So, slow week, huh? Absolutely nothing has happened. Except, oh wait! We got an unreleased 1D song yesterday! Half The World Away (no, not the Oasis song) leaked yesterday, and it appears to be an old demo of a song written by Harry in 2013! This version is clearly Harry’s demo (Harry ft. One Direction, one commenter pointed out), but it’s a sweet song that fits perfectly in the Take Me Home Era.

Harry himself is still aggressively MIA, but he did take the time to go on Instagram and share resources as to how best to seek justice for Jacob Blake. Although! New show dates are out! He’s rescheduled some shows in Mexico for the beginning of November! Could this be the first of many new LATAM show dates? We shall see.

Louis is also super MIA (he might or might not be in the Caribbean, but he’s *definitely* been child-free this whole time). Although, David Dyson, Louis’ drummer since at least 2017, posted an instagram post of himself in Retreat Recording Studios two days ago (8/24) wearing a Harry Styles™ COVID T-Shirt, and he made sure to tag Harry in case we were on the fence about whose merch it is.

The BIG news of the day is GIGI’S PREGNANCY SHOOT!! She looks beautiful in black and white gossamer pictures on her own Instagram. Her captions read “growing and angel” and “Cherishing this time. Appreciate all the love & well wishes <3 will never forget creating these special images with my friends...thank you. I love you!”. She also dated one - the pictures were taken on 7/26/2020! She looks really pregnant, and, despite a few mean comments, the reaction has been mostly positive (as it should be!).The due date is meant to be sometime in september, and it might just be me but she seems to have been pregnant for a very long time now. I think that means that time no longer exists. Zayn has yet to say a word about it - although he always makes sure to support the boxing match of the day - but the pictures are out, and they’re great!

Liam’s show is in three days, and he went live to talk about it last Sunday, including a very special reaction of the boys dancing in the old days (“Quite the aggressive mob, it seems”). Since then, he’s making a push for his birthday show, which is looking to be really exciting, and *might* have a special tik tok guest in the form of Jeremy Lynch! And speaking of Jeremy Lynch, he and Liam will be doing tik tok song challenges, in which they cover the most recommended songs of Tik Tok. Sounds cool guys, might even be worth making a tik tok for (though probably not).

And speaking of Liam’s show: remember the form people filled out for a chance to meet Liam? Well if you purchased the $200 ticket, you also have a chance to be in a fan quiz with him! What does this entail? Liam will draw three names, and ask one fan’s question to another. There will be prizes, it will be virtual, and there seem to be no restrictions on the questions, although Liam’s team will be pre-picking the questions. What could go wrong? This does seem like a better set up than only giving people who have money access to Liam, which is...Not It, to be honest, but I suppose only time will tell.

Meanwhile, Niall has been active on Twitter, answering fans and assuring them that he and Lewis Capaldi are still friends despite not interacting publicly these last few months. (Can you believe that people can be friends without publicly interacting? Who would’ve thunk!). He’s also been showing off golf gift baskets (as well as some other fun gifts) on his Instagram! I never thought we’d see the day when Niall and Liam are the best influencers of the bunch, but here we are! He also did a joint interview with Ashe on Radio Disney, in which he confirms he is not a major tik tokker, but thought that Moral Of The Story was amazing. Niall and Ashe “get on like a house on fire” and the whole thing just “fell into place”. Awww #frienshipgoals.

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cali-holland · 4 years

Text

The Best Gift- Tom Holland One Shot

Pairing: Tom Holland X Reader

Prompt: With quarantine still going on, you’re concerned you can’t give Tom a special birthday.

Word Count: 2800

Loosely Inspired By: House Party by Sam Hunt

A/N: This goes out to everyone who’s had a birthday during quarantine. I know places are opening back up now, but just remember to stay safe!

Masterlist Tom Holland Masterlist

*Gif is not mine*

~~~

Quarantine sucked. It’d been going on for months, and while some things were opening up, a lot of things remained closed. It sucked because just before the whole shut down, you’d come up with a genius birthday plan for Tom’s 24th. The universe had a different idea though when it decided to sprinkle some virus in to ruin every single 2020 plan of yours. The large birthday bash (followed by an incredible getaway with just the two of you) was canceled- not even postponed because you can’t postpone a birthday.

“What are we doing for Tom’s birthday?” Harrison asked you and Harry as the three of you gathered in his room, the farthest place from Tom who was currently helping Tuwaine downstairs (he didn’t need help, it was a distraction).

“What if we bought a few decorations and hung that up? It could be a surprise house party. You guys can take him out golfing and I put up the decorations without him knowing.” You suggested.

“Would that work though?” Harry asked, turning to you.

“Oh, yeah, you know how Tom gets on his birthday.” Harrison teased, rolling his eyes at you. Last year, you had to lock yourself in the bedroom detach your clingy boyfriend from your side just to get him to go celebrate with his family for a few hours; Tom took his birthday as “Tom gets what Tom wants” and he always wanted you. June 1st was his clingiest day of the year by far.

“I’ll make him go. I’ll tell him I’m sick or something.” You reassured them.

“That won’t work either!” Harry laughed, all three of you knowing if you faked sick Tom would be even clingier to take care of you (before he would find out you’re definitely not sick). “Break up with him for a few hours?”

“I think that would ruin his birthday even more.” You shook your at him. You three heard the backdoor open and close, signaling Tom had come back inside (and was probably looking for you).

“We’ll talk about this later.” Harrison said, ushering you and Harry out of his room.

“Y/N, where’d you go?” Tom shouted from the living room, immediately noticing your absence from where he left you sitting on the couch watching TV. He sounded like a lost puppy. Harry laughed, nudging your elbow playfully.

“You’ve got him so whipped.”

“Trust me, I know.” You smiled and he ducked into his room from the hallway. Making your way downstairs, you called out to your needy boyfriend, “Calm down! I’m coming!”

~~~

The days leading up to Tom’s birthday were tense as you, Harry, Harrison, and Tuwaine all attempted to make plans for the big day while still keeping Tom from snooping through the exclusive group chat. Since Tom was basically by your side 24/7 and had gotten good at sneakily reading over your shoulder (hence how he discovered his Christmas gift a month earlier last year), the four of you used a chat via Instagram and you had your notifications turned off, only checking the app when he wasn’t nearby. By the time the day arrived, you four had created a magnificent plan for his birthday: the boys would take him out golfing while you decorated the house and baked a cake. The only issue with that plan was the inevitable rise in his clinginess.

The first thing you thought of when you woke up on his birthday was how incredibly lucky you were to be able to spend his big day with him, knowing that you had missed celebrating a few family members’s birthdays during quarantine. His birthday may not be going how you planned it to be months ago, but it was still happening, with or without quarantine. You smiled as you opened your eyes as you looked at your sleeping boyfriend beside you. His arm was draped over your waist to keep you close to him, as if your legs weren’t currently entangled with his. Though his hair had been tousled in the night, it still fell seemingly perfectly into curls around his face; he really needed a haircut, but it was “Sony’s hair” and he wouldn’t let you or anyone else near him with scissors. You ran your fingers lightly through his hair, admiring how the morning sun brought out the various hues in his curls.

You felt his hand stretch a little on the small of your back, a telltale sign that he was slowly waking up. You leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead then his nose and then to his cheek that wasn’t pressed to the pillow. His leg rubbed against yours for a moment; you could tell he was awake now.

“You missed a spot.” He mumbled, eyes still closed, half of his face still nuzzled into the comfy pillow.

“Did I?” You giggled, pressing a kiss to his chin. He opened his eyes and frowned at you, “Good morning, birthday boy.”

“I’m still waiting on my kiss.” Tom insisted, puckering his lips out for you. You went to playfully peck his lips, but Tom knew your morning antics well enough, and his hand traveled from your lower back up to behind your head, keeping your lips in place against his. He moaned lightly into the morning kiss, happy to be waking up beside you for another day in a row. Hearing his stomach let out a ferociously hungry growl, you pulled back from the kiss.

“I have to-“ Tom cut you off with another wet kiss. With your lips barely off his, you mumbled, “I have to make breakfast.”

“No you don’t.” He replied, kissing you some more until his stomach went off again, breaking the moment. Knowing he wouldn’t make it very far in your morning cuddles and kisses without some food, he sighed in defeat, “We should probably get breakfast.”

“Come on, I’ll make you some pancakes.” You gave him one last kiss before untangling your legs from his and rolling out of bed. Tom smiled, propping himself up on his elbows as you watched you make your way across the bedroom and into the en suite bathroom in nothing but his t-shirt and your underwear.

“You’re staring again.” You laughed at your boyfriend while you brushed out your hair. You blew him a kiss and he pretended to catch it.

“Can’t help it.” He got out of the bed and shuffled his way over to you. “You’re the best birthday gift ever, you know.”

“If this is-“ You started, immediately jumping to the conclusion that his morning wood was talking and ruining the moment.

“No, no, I’m just so lucky to have you. And I love being able to spend my birthday with you. You’re really the best gift for me every day of the year.”

“Aren’t you just the sweetest right now?” You teased, before seriously adding, “You’re the best gift for me, too- every day of the year.”

Still dressed in your “pajamas”, you and Tom made your way downstairs for breakfast. To your surprise, Harrison was already downstairs making pancakes for the birthday boy. It had been discussed beforehand that you would make Tom breakfast- and make food for the others as well.

“Hey, that was my job.” You pouted at your friend.

“I got hungry.” Harrison shrugged, before turning to Tom, “Happy birthday!”

“Thanks. I just hope the pancakes are edible.” He joked.

“I made tea.” Harry said, coming into the room and pointing to the multiple steaming mugs on the counter.

“Damn, it should be my birthday every day if that means you two actually do stuff for me.” Tom laughed as he took on the mugs. Harry and Harrison just sent him pointed looks.

“They’ve both literally worked as your assistants.” You teased, rolling your eyes at him, and your two friends nodded in agreement.

“Yeah happy birthday, dickhead. You’re practically ancient now.” Harry stated. Ah, nothing like some sibling love in the morning.

“I’ll remember that when you turn 24.” Tom flipped him off.

“You’ll be 27-“ Before Harry could continue, Harrison cut them off.

“Pancakes are done!” Just like that, Tom and Harry’s focus went straight to food. It didn’t take Tuwaine long to wake up to the smell of fresh pancakes. Although you were hoping to make breakfast this morning, you were grateful Harrison did it because you got your pancakes faster.

By the time breakfast was over, you and Tom went back to your room and, as he got ready to go golfing, you were anxiously waiting for him to leave (so he couldn’t back out of it).

“What if I say I’m sick and stay here with you?” Tom asked you while putting on his shoes.

“They’re trying to do something nice for you, go with them.” You insisted from your spot laying on the bed. You couldn’t be bothered to get completely ready for the day yet.

“But I wanna spend the day with you.” He let out a whine as he flopped on the bed beside you and you turned on your side to face him.

“You’ve spent every day with me for the last three months.” You laughed.

“Are you trying to get rid of me?” It was a playful question, but you couldn’t stop yourself from tensing a little. From his lack of reaction, he didn’t sense your slight slipup.

“Of course not. I just think you should go out. You love golfing.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” He asked with a small pout.

“I’ll be here when you get back. I promise.” You reassured him even further by kissing him. His hand snuck its way to the small of your back, he smiled into the kiss as he tugged you closer to him.

“They’re waiting for you.” Your lips still basically on his as you spoke.

“They can wait a few more minutes.” He replied, kissing you again.

“Tom! You ready?” Harry called from the other side of the door. Tom pulled away from you with a sigh.

“Guess I have to go.” Tom huffed, getting off the bed as you did too.

“Have fun. I love you, birthday boy.” You smiled.

“I love you, too.” He gave you a quick, but sweet goodbye kiss before opening the bedroom door. You two were met with the other three boys, standing in the hallway, ready to go golfing as a distraction.

Tom followed Harry and Harrison out and Tuwaine stayed behind for a moment.

“It’s all in my room.” He told you.

“Sweet. Have fun, I’ll let you all know when I’m done.”

“And one of us will tell you when we’re on our way back.” He reassured you.

“Thank you.” You smiled as he left with the rest of the boys.

Ducking into Tuwaine’s room, it was time to set up your surprise house party.

~~~

A few hours later, you had a cake made and decorated, lunch prepared and ready to go when the boys came home, and the house had balloons and streamers scattered throughout it. A large “happy birthday Tom” banner hung from the fireplace’s mantle, in perfect view of the front door. You had Harry’s speaker out, ready to play some music when your little party began. It wasn’t a large and spectacular birthday bash, but you hoped it was enough for Tom to feel loved and celebrated today.

‘Pulling up now.’ Harrison texted you and you eagerly hid in the hallway with one of those mini poppers, ready to fire it when Tom walked in. You heard them laughing and talking as they unlocked the front door. When the door opened, you jumped out from the hallway, pulling the popper’s string to unleash the little amount of confetti inside it (since none of you really wanted to deal with a ton of confetti inside the house).

“Happy birthday!” The four of you shouted as Tom stood there trying to process what was happening. You spotted Harry holding up his phone, filming the big surprise and you wondered how Tom didn’t notice that as a dead giveaway at all.

“We wanted to throw you a big party, but that’s kind of illegal right now.” You laughed and your boyfriend pulled you in for a tight hug.

“Thank you, I love it. I love you.” Tom smiled, giving you a kiss.

“Hey, we helped!” Harrison piped in.

“I’m not kissing you.” He joked, but let go of you to hug his friends and his brother anyway. Tom walked further into the house, admiring the birthday party decorations.

“This is amazing. I can’t believe you did all this for me.” He beamed, overwhelmed by the thought of the four of you trying to make his day special. He paused, sniffing a little, before turning to you, “Do I smell cake?”

“That’s for after lunch, but yes.” You smiled proudly and he cheered.

After eating lunch, Tom facetimed the rest of his family (and Tessa of course) for a bit, happy that he could at least see their faces on his big day. Once the midday dessert was served, he opened his gifts from the rest of the boys. All three gifts were open, and Tom realized you had been silent, a gift sporting your name on the ‘from’ label was missing.

“Where’s your gift?” Harry asked, noticing the odd amount of unwrapped gifts.

“I wanted to give it to you in private.” You said, quietly as you turned to Tom.

“Someone’s getting some tonight.” Harrison snickered.

“Birthday sex!” Tuwaine exclaimed with a laugh.

“That’s not what I meant.” You shook your head at your friends.

“But that’s still happening, right?” Tom asked with a cheeky smile, and you winked at him. He looked at you, hopefully, “Can I see my gift now?”

“Here, come on.” You took his hand in yours, pulling him out of the living room, ignoring the hoots and hollers from the rest of the boys as they made comments about leaving the house for a while. Tom sat down on the edge of your shared bed and waited patiently as you got out a wrapped box from your side of the closet.

“You didn’t have to get me anything. I already told you, you’re the best gift ever.” Tom said as you sat beside him on the bed, handing him the box.

“Yeah, and I remember telling you specifically not to buy me a car for my birthday and look where we are now.” You stated and he smiled innocently at you.

“Technically, everyone in the house pitched in on the car.” He paused when he saw your raised eyebrows, “Okay, but I did pay for most of it.”

“Just open your gift, rich boy.” You playfully rolled your eyes at him.

“Love you.” He smiled, giving you a quick kiss before turning his attention back to his present. He slowly unwrapped the box and you anxiously watched his face, hoping he’d like it. You weren’t a famous movie star with millions of dollars to spend freely, so him buying you (or the “house” buying you) expensive gifts just made it harder for you to buy him something just as nice. Birthday gifts weren’t always about the price tag, but it still made you nervous. Really though, what could you buy him that he couldn’t buy for himself already?

“It’s a- a memory box,” He said softly, taking off the wrapping and looking at the intricate woodwork. You bit your lip, feeling your heart sink a little; this was one of the few moments in your relationship that you couldn’t read the emotion on his face at all. He opened the box and saw that you had already put a few things in there- a picture of him and his brothers that you had taken a couple years ago on his birthday, the movie theater tickets from your first date together, a polaroid of the two of you with Harrison at the Civil War premiere way back before you started dating. He delicately picked up the small, beautiful seashell that rested in the box; he’d picked it up on a beach in California and brought it back to you in England because something about it reminded him of you, he cherished the little thing. “I thought I lost this.”

“I’m sorry, I should’ve let you-” Your worries were cut short by Tom resting his hand on your leg and looking over at you. He had tears in his eyes as he smiled.

“This is by far the most amazing thing anyone’s ever done for me.” He reassured you, putting the small shell back in the box.

“So you like it?” You asked nervously.

“I love it. I can’t wait to fill it with more memories.” He set it on the bed beside him so he could maneuver you into his lap. “Thank you for making my birthday incredible. I love you so much.” “I love you, too, birthday boy.”

#tom holland #tom holland fanfic #tom holland imagine #tom holland one shot #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland x y/n

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leftbehindgolf · 2 months

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#golf #golf equipment #golf accessories #golf news #golfers

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bluecrusadearcade · 3 years

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Harrison Osterfield is not your regular irregular

By Baker Street, Gentleman’s Journal quizzes the star of Netflix’s new drama on world records, Sherlock Holmes and his golf swing…

Draped in a silk shirt and paisley scarf, Harrison Osterfield is shivering his way across a brisk Regent’s Park. But he’s not complaining. Why would he? After all, the 24-year-old has dealt with worse. In his latest television series alone — Netflix’s The Irregulars — he’s tussled with demonic crows, paranormal serial killers and even the occult. So a little nip in the air? Nothing to worry about.

“I do have my eye on that jumper, though,” beams Osterfield from behind a bold pair of sunglasses. I don’t blame him. It’s a chunky-knit, funnel-neck number from Connolly, and the next piece of clothing lined up for this al fresco photoshoot. But, for now, the young actor must grit his chattering teeth — and continue striking willowy poses in that billowy shirt.

And those poses are turning heads. Dog-walkers, taxi drivers and tourists are all picking up on Osterfield’s energy; a coolly British blend of big grins and bouncy enthusiasm. He swings from a lamppost! He dances through daffodils! He feeds the pigeons! NW1 hasn’t seen this much action in months…

And we’ve come to Regent’s Park for obvious reasons; Baker Street snakes down from its south-west corner. And, on that famous thoroughfare, sits the fictional digs of Sherlock Holmes. But The Irregulars, a supernatural-tinged drama named for Holmes’ gang of trusty street informants, wasn’t shot in London. Rather, it was filmed on the authentically old streets of Sheffield and Liverpool — the same cobbles walked by the Peaky Blinder boys. So this, Osterfield grins, is a fun opportunity to see the real thing.

“All of the rest of the cast,” he admits, “are really big Sherlock fans. I’ve never really read any of the Sherlock books. I’ve seen maybe one Robert Downey Jr. film? So I was very new going into it.”

Today, then, will be a crash course. Because, after we get Osterfield out of the park (and into that jumper), we’re heading to the Holmes Hotel for a coffee and a catch-up. It’s a relatively new hotel just off Baker Street, decked out with knowing nods to the world’s greatest detective. There’s a bronze bulldog guarding the door, pipe-patterned wallpaper and signature cocktails at the sadly-closed bar (anyone for a ‘Case Closed’?).

But, though there are only suggestions of Sherlock in the Holmes Hotel, Osterfield explains that they’re even subtler in the show. Because The Irregulars, in a nutshell (wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma), sidelines the sleuth, and shifts the focus onto Osterfield and his fellow gang members. The actor plays one of the show’s leads; frail runaway nobleman Prince Leopold. All sullen glances and broken bones, his story is the heart of this first season.

“And it’s been a long project in the making,” says Osterfield, noting that filming on The Irregulars began almost two years ago. “That’s quite daunting. When you’ve spent that much time on something and you’ve got no idea how it’s going to turn out?

“It means that, now, it’s crunch time,” he continues, face creasing with mock-worry, “and I have no idea how people are going to react. But I’m really proud of the work, and that’s what I’m taking away from it.”

The Irregulars may be Osterfield’s first lead role — but he’s been acting for years, popping up in several short films and the George Clooney-directed adaptation of Catch-22 before Netflix took notice. His first role came at 11-years-old, when he was cast as Tiny Tim in his school’s stage production of A Christmas Carol. “It’s funny, actually,” says Osterfield, “because it’s quite a similar physicality to my role in The Irregulars”.

“But that’s where it started,” he continues. “And the real reason I got into acting was because there was this girl in the drama class who I really liked. I thought, if I joined up and impressed her, I could take her out on a date. That didn’t happen. But, although she wasn’t interested at all — the acting seems to be going okay!”

It certainly does. But, like actors all over the world, it’s been a very slow year for Osterfield. He returned to set in September to finish filming the Netflix show — but the rest of his lockdown was eerily, cannily familiar to everyone else’s.

“I went back to my home in Kingston,” he nods, “where I was living with three of my best mates who are also actors. Quite a few of my friends are in theatre, and they had a really tough time of it — not knowing what was going to happen next. I was very lucky, knowing that I was going back to finish something”.

The actor says it was strange being locked-down with fellow performers. With sets closed around the country and curtains falling on theatres, it was one of the first times they had all been at home together. But, even with the additional pressure, he says there were no problems. And there never have been, according to Osterfield — as it’s rare that he and his friends ever compete for the same role.

“We’re all very different castings!” he laughs. “Which is good. It’s a mixed bag, really. But it’s very useful when you’ve got to self-tape an audition and there’s another actor literally upstairs. Also, we’ve all known each other for ten years, so we’ve grown up together and, luckily, know when not to push each other’s buttons.”

With no work, Osterfield spent most of his 2020 getting stuck into lockdown. And he shamelessly tried every self-isolated stereotype. He binge-watched every sports documentary from Drive to Survive to Last Chance U. He upped the frequency and intensity of his workouts. He even tried his hand at cooking. He tried everything.

“I did try everything!” the actor laughs, fizzing once more with that lamppost-swinging, daffodil-dancing energy. “Really! I think I went though every lockdown activity there is. I gave baking a go for two weeks — that didn’t work out. I made a banana bread and that was it. I’m not going to be delving into that any more…

“We were quite lucky, though,” he adds, “because we had an outdoor space. We built a homemade golf net in our garden, by putting up two wooden poles and hanging a blue screen we had left over from filming. That kept us entertained most days”.

But, despite the failed banana breads, closed-off golf courses and Irregulars anxiety, Osterfield says that the worst thing about lockdown was missing his family.

“Because we’re a very close family”, he explains. “Massively so. And, usually, we’d have family gatherings every other weekend – my whole family are in East Grinstead and closer to Brighton, so real countryside. I’m honestly just looking forward to the day, with summer on the horizon, that we can do some good barbecues outside.

“We even tried family Zoom quizzes over lockdown,” he adds, “and they all figured out that I’m not that clever. The rest of my family all seem really, really intelligent. I don’t know if they were just revising beforehand, but I was definitely last a couple of times…”

And Osterfield’s most inspiring family member — not to mention the most irregular — is his 89-year-old grandfather. Despite the young actor upping his own fitness levels during lockdown (“I started doing handstand push-ups. That’s my new skill!”) Osterfield’s grandfather put those athletic achievements to shame.

“He’s fitter than me!” laughs Osterfield. “He’s been kept at home for most of the time and, as a family, we’ve been quite worried about him. But I struggle to keep up with him. I’ll ring him up and ask how his day’s going and he’ll say ‘Oh, hi Harry. Can I call you back later on? I’m just doing some exercise’. So he’s doing better than okay!”

But the exercising, Osterfield says seriously, has been a real lifeline. It’s kept both him and his mind busy during lockdown — and has motivated the actor to pursue more physical, active roles in the future. If he can look back at a body of versatile work, measured out in marked body transformations, he says he’ll be happy.

“I’ve been doing a lot of bodyweight exercise over the last year,” he nods. “I thought it would be quite cool, while in lockdown, to break a world record for something — so I’ve been trying lots of fitness challenges. I’m very close to getting the most burpee chin-ups in under a minute. I’ve got to knuckle down on that.

“I also tried to eat an apple in under 38 seconds,” he laughs. “Which sounds like a long time, but it’s actually quite difficult. And, with apples, I eat everything. Even the middle bit. Even the stem. I just chuck it down. I’m a big fruit bat, so I eat everything apart from the seeds.”

There’s that bouncy energy again; that fun-but-utterly-sincere enthusiasm. It’s an odd thing for an actor, to be so happily unabashed by everything — but the 24-year-old is as animated when talking about his acting as he is about his apples. And that’s nice to see. He’s clearly relishing every opportunity to better himself, and just getting started with what promises to be a very exciting career. Harrison Osterfield, it seems, takes every bite of the apple — literally. Talk about irregular.

#Harrison osterfield #the gentlemans journal #the irregulars #interview

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dougmeet · 3 years

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IM SHOOK (World’s First) Wanna Try Special Chocolate Flavor?

10 Top Instagram Social Influencer Rescue Dogs (UPDATED VIDEO BIOS) You Need in your IG Dogfeed ... Whose Heeling is Next to Following! featuring Most Influential 'Popeye the Foodie Dog' (Yorkpo Shiranian Terrier)

10 IG Best Friend Influencer Dogtags to Heel and Follow:

#1.) Popeye Foodie Dog (Yorkporn Shirranian Terrier)

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18 May 2020 | by Valerie Chernenko

What can be better than a pic of a French bulldog smiling with its tongue out or a vid of a cutie Samoyed sitting in front of the Sakura blossoms?

True dog lovers answer that nothing as content makes them smile.

If you are these people, you are scrolling Instagram to send a doggo post your friend "Look at this cutie!".

Chihuahua goofing with favourite toys, a Golden Retriever puppy trying to bark first perfect break from worrying day. Take a break and check 10 adorable doggie IG accounts to follow right now.

(image source: Manny The Frenchie)

1. Manny The Frenchie

(image source: Maya the Samoyed) (image source: Doggos Mates)

Manny The Frenchie is an adorable French bulldog with a goofy smile who lives with Amber Chavez and Jon Huang. From the outset, the couple made photos of a upper only for their friends as a hobby. However, it soon turned out that Manny had become a far-reaching star. As for now, this charming doggie is the most followed bulldog online who cooperates with Turtle Wax, State Farm, and many more.

2. Maya the Samoyed

Maya is a fluffy two-year-old Samoyed who is known for sharing her big adorable smile and hilarious vids and pics. She is keen on frolicking in fountains, devouring on humans' snacks, and balancing doggones’ treats on her head like a pro.

3. Doggone Mates

Doggos mates is a family Instagram account that shows us the life of a charming French bulldog, named Bonnie, and her five Chihuahua sibs, Henry, Sandy, Lala, Varya, and Manjula.

(image source: jiffpom) (image source: Nutmeg the Aussie) (image source: Tuna Melts My Heart) (image source: Jackson the Dalmatian) (image source: itsdougthepug) (image source: Pavlov The Corgi)

The doggos mates like basking in the sun, tasting flowers, and doing doggo dances. Valerie, the owner of pooches, daily shares adorable pup pics and vids and writes posts with useful bits of advice and life hacks for dog keepers. The owner is not only a happy dog mum but also a breeder of French bulldogs and Chihuahuas, and she offers pups for sale worldwide.

4. Jiffpom

Jiffpom is one of the most followed dog Instagram accounts, and its main character, Jiff the Pomeranian, reminds more of a toy than a pup. This doggo was featured in Katy Perry’s music video Dark Horse, and he has been voted for the Most Popular Dog in the World. In his Instagram account, you can find many amusing vids and pics of his Hollywood life.

5. Nutmeg the Aussie

Nutmeg the Aussie is a pooch of Australian shepherd, who generates impressive content. This pupper takes walks around NYC and posts pics of towering skyscrapers. As we can see from his Instagram photos, Nutmeg is also a pro at chilling.

6. Tuna Melts My Heart

Tuna is a famous Instagram Chiweenie – a mix of a chihuahua and dachshund – who will undoubtedly steal your heart. His charming overbite and squinty eyes endeared his owner, Courtney Dasher, at a dog rescue event in 2010, and, as a result, Courtney adopted him. Tuna has had an American tour raising awareness for animal rescue, where he involved people in donating for animal shelters nationwide. Currently, books and some other merchandise with pooch’s photos are sold on behalf of Tuna.

7. Jackson the Dalmatian

Jackson the Dalmatian is a dapper Dalmatian dog whose name is a homage to Michael Jackson’s song Black or White. This doggie loves walking outside, chasing balls, and eating fruits and vegetables. Jackson also enjoys posing for engaging content and always wears a bow tie to complete his gentleman look.

8. Doug The Pug

Doug the Pug is a true celebrity pooch. He’s not only won a People’s Choice Award for Animal Star 2019 but also has launched his line of dog toys and merchandise. This cutie pug has appeared on shows, music videos, and even been the subject of some magazine articles. His hobbies include dressing up as his favourite movie characters and enjoying his favourite treats.

9. Pavlov The Corgi

Pavlov The Corgi is a charming corgi dog who lives in California. The followers love him for dank humour and dozens of brooding photos in front of artsy walls. Currently, Pavlov has a line of his merchandise that consists of beanies, hats, shirts, and hoodies.

10. Popeye the Foodie Dog

: 1. Instagram - Popeye Foodie Dog Yorkpom Shirranian Terrier

Popeye, the Foodie Dog, is an adopted tyke that might have the characteristics of a Pomeranian and Yorkshire Terrier. Ivy Diep, the owner, has found this pooch wandering through the streets of Los Angeles. She couldn't pass by this homeless pup, and so Ivy decided to take him home. Today, Popeye lives a happy doggo-life, and he is known as the cutest foodie for his adorable pics in local cafes and restaurants.

Hip

Rap Book Hop

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Yeah, yeah Ayo, neighbours, it's time. It's time, neighbours (aight, neighbours, begin). Straight out the sweaty dungeons of rap. The friend drops deep as does my mouse. I never run, 'cause to run is the wife of grouse. Beyond the walls of puppies, life is defined. I think of golf when I'm in a Hull state of mind.Hope the grouse got some spouse. My blouse don't like no dirty warehouse. Run up to the house and get the powerhouse.In a Hull state of mind. What more could you ask for? The poor friend? You complain about dirty dishes. I gotta love it though - somebody still speaks for the send. I'm rappin' to the book, And I'm gonna move your hook. Smooth, hideous, chewy, like a tail Boy, I tell you, I thought you were an entail. I can't take the dirty dishes, can't take the flamingo. I woulda tried to sail I guess I got no lingo. I'm rappin' to the hook, And I'm gonna move your book. Yea, yaz, in a Hull state of mind.When I was young my wife had an amend. I waz kicked out without no end. I never thought I'd see that trend. Ain't a soul alive that could take my wife's lend. An ugly fairy is quite the cherry. Thinking of golf. Yaz, thinking of golf (golf).

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bunkershotgolf · 4 years

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A Strange PGA Tour Season

By ED TRAVIS

The 2019-2020 PGA Tour season will be remembered for a long time. The worldwide pandemic caused a disruption to our lives as well as the Tour’s schedule that hopefully will never be repeated. Besides the hiatus which resulted in just 36 tournaments being played rather than 46 as was done last year there was the requisite astonishment how far D.J., Bryson, Rory and any number of other athletes hit the ball off the tee plus the ongoing and somewhat misguided calls for restrictions of clubs and balls or both.

However, the old adage is still in play, “the more things change the more they stay the same.”

For the first time since World War II there was only one major championship since the other three were postponed or canceled. Only the PGA Championship won by Colin Morikawa was played and that of course means the 2020-2021 season will have six majors but for fans, the more the merrier.

Dustin Johnson finished the season with three wins and two out of three of the FedExCup Playoff events making him dominant to a degree that places him as an odds-on favorite for this fall’s rescheduled U.S. Open and Masters.

Switching gears but still in the category of interesting things about the just completed season were how the brands of equipment used by tournament winners changed from last year.

Much of golf equipment marketing is built around the publicity and even allure of winners and fan-favorite Tour players using a given brand. That can be misleading if only for the fact that Callaway Golf for example has more than three dozen PGA Tour members on staff and Titleist at least as many, some of which only play their golf ball.

In contrast TaylorMade Golf has eight Tour players on staff but they happen to include not only Dustin Johnson and Jon Rahm but also a guy named Tiger Woods.

The effectiveness of product endorsement may be open to question but there is at least some benefit to companies from the exposure of their logo on a bag or shirt or hat. There seems to be little correlation between Tour endorsements and sales results with the exception of Titleist golf balls which are the standard all are judged. Twenty three out of the 36 events in the 2019-2020 season were won by players using either their Pro V1 or Pro V1x. TaylorMade players were next with nine wins, Bridgestone two while Callaway and Srixon users each had one.

Driver brands finished in a virtual dead heat with Ping, Titleist and TaylorMade able to boast 10, 11 and 11 wins respectively. Callaway which continues to be the largest seller of metalwoods, and irons had three wins and Cobra one.

Each of these end-of-season reports comes with the same caveat. The information is accurate to the best of my knowledge but more suitable for winning a bet at the 19th hole than drawing more in-depth conclusions.

#EdTravis

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tabloidtoc · 4 years

Text

OK, November 23

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Jeff Bridges opens up about the fight of his life

Page 2: Contents

Page 3: Contents

Page 4: Lori Loughlin’s life behind bars -- Lori’s been having a hard time adjusting to her new reality

Page 6: The holiday season will look a little different for Prince Harry this year -- originally the plan was for Harry to travel to England around Christmastime and Meghan Markle reluctantly agreed though she was far from happy with the idea but now with new travel restrictions in place due to Covid-19 she’s told him there’s no way they’re leaving California which is crushing for Harry who was looking forward to spending the holidays with the royals especially since he missed out last year and he’s been horribly homesick these last few months and he misses the holiday traditions he grew up with even though he loves his life in America with Meghan and son Archie

Page 7: Newly single Kelly Clarkson has been swooning over country crooner Brett Eldredge her collaborator on the flirty new Christmas tune Under the Mistletoe -- they spent lots of time together in the studio and on the phone and really bonded while they were cutting this sexy song, Brad Pitt’s most recent ex-girlfriend Nicole Poturalski has started talking to friends about what happened between them in detail and it’s an embarrassing mess for Brad who prides himself on privacy, after 16 seasons as colleagues and sparring BFFs on The Voice Adam Levine and Blake Shelton are besties no more because there was a lot of talk between them about keeping in touch and hanging out after Adam left the show but amid lingering tensions neither has made an effort and Adam may not even be invited when Blake marries Gwen Stefani

Page 8: Ever since Sofia Richie split for good from Scott Disick she’s been out every night with some really shady types to the dismay of her dad Lionel Richie who is not liking what he’s hearing about her partying and dating habits -- Sofia has already jumped into a new relationship with Cha Cha Matcha founder Matthew Morton and is hanging nonstop with his crew -- Lionel thought breaking free from Scott would mean a calmer life but it just sees like she’s gone off the rails, Betty White is already gearing up to celebrate her 99th birthday in January with a low-key yet reverent bash, she’s been linked to several Hollywood hunks of late but Lily James just wants her old beau back and she’s regretting breaking off her five-year relationship with Matt Smith -- since the split she’s been linked to Dominic West and Armie Hammer and Chris Evans and the onslaught has only made her miss Matt more -- Matt’s always had her back and Lily knows she made a mistake letting him go but Matt feels duped regarding all the rumors about her and other guys but she swears nothing happened and that she misses him

Page 10: Red Hot on the Red Carpet -- stars wow in romantic ruffled gowns -- Keke Palmer, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kirsten Dunst

Page 11: Lupita Nyong’o, Halsey

Page 12: Who Wore It Better? Renee Bargh vs. Alessandra Ambrosio

Page 14: News In Photos -- Paris Jackson posed for a portrait in Beverly Hills days before releasing her debut solo album

Page 15: Adam Brody with his newborn son in Malibu, pregnant Jinger Duggar stepped out in Venice with husband Jeremy Vuolo and their daughter Felicity for lunch, Lady Gaga on stage at a drive-in concert in Pittsburgh

Page 16: Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O’Connell headed out for brunch with one of their twin daughters in Encino, Camila Cabello held on tight to one of her three pups while chasing another one who escaped from his leash in Miami, Pierce Brosnan playing golf in Hawaii

Page 18: DJ Diplo took a dip in the ocean in Miami, John Legend took his Ford Mustang out for a spin with wife Chrissy Teigen and one of their dogs in Beverly Hills

Page 19: Bella Thorne and boyfriend Benjamin Mascolo in Rome, Scott Disick was Ace Ventura for Halloween in L.A.

Page 20: Ruff Life -- stars show love for their canine companions -- Ariel Winter and her latest rescue Cobey, Jamie Chung and her dog, soccer star Alex Morgan with her dogs Kona and Blue

Page 21: Nev Schulman cuddled up with Dancing With the Stars partner Jenna Johnson’s dog Ziggy, PLEASE ADOPT, DON’T SHOP

Page 22: Shawn Mendes on a walk in Miami, Kate Mara stopped by Target with her daughter, Ellen DeGeneres dressed up as a nurse who is her favorite superhero

Page 24: Skai Jackson headed to rehearsals for Dancing With the Stars, Elizabeth Lyn Vargas of Real Housewives of Orange County gave a tour of her home, Joe Jonas strolling daughter Willa around the neighborhood

Page 25: Thomas Brodie-Sangster attended the premiere of Stardust a biopic about David Bowie in London, Donnie Wahlberg and Steve Schirripa filmed a scene for Blue Bloods in Brooklyn

Page 26: Taking over duties from Prince Harry his stepmother Duchess Camilla arrived at the Field of Remembrance to commemorate those who lost their lives in the armed forces in London, Amber Heard enjoyed a hike with her dog in L.A., Renee Elisa Goldsberry and Sara Bareilles and Paula Pell and Busy Philipps filmed a scene for Tina Fey’s upcoming series Girls5Eva in NYC

Page 27: Offset delivered free food to voters waiting in line on Election Day, Ciara in Seattle

Page 28: Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes have finally become husband and wife in a low-key ceremony in the backyard of their L.A. home with just a handful of family and close friends like Steve Carell and Emma Stone were in attendance -- Ryan wore jeans with a button-down shirt while Eva wore a red dress from her own collection -- now that the party’s over Eva and Ryan have been talking about having a third child

Page 29: Reality hit Love Is Blind hooked viewers with its OMG premise but the show’s married cohosts Nick Lachey and Vanessa Lachey were decidedly less riveting and their presenting style was laughably wooden and stiff and while the duo is slated to return for the show’s second season Nick and Vanessa have been put on notice to spice it up, Tori Spelling is freaking out at the prospect of her husband Dean McDermott spending six months alone in Toronto which is the same town where he cheated on her seven years ago -- Dean has signed on to star in Canadian TV show Lady Dicks and while Tori should be thrilled that that he’ll be bringing in some income for their often-struggling family of seven she is preparing for the worst

Page 30: While it appears Nina Dobrev and Shaun White have spent 2020 in hardcore flirt mode Nina’s friends have cautioned that this is a dead-end romance because Shaun shows up and posts pictures of them on social media but the fact is they’ve barely spent any time together and they hook up and then he goes back to his own place -- Shaun rarely invites Nina to either of his two Hollywood Hills pads and is proving his flaky reputation is legit, things are looking up for parents-to-be Kit Harington and Rose Leslie after a rocky start to their marriage the two are finally in a happy place -- Kit has stopped boozing and this baby has put a fire under him to be more accommodating and besides helping update and baby-proof the couple’s 15th century countryside manor Kit’s been more attentive to Rose in every way, Love Bites -- Erika Jayne and Tom Girardi split, Maya Erskine and Michael Angarano are engaged and expecting, Ashlee Simpson welcomed her second child with husband Evan Ross

Page 32: Cover Story -- Jeff Bridges: I’m not giving up -- how the beloved star is coping during his brave health battle

Page 36: Katherine Heigl why she disappeared -- the reason Katherine walked away from the spotlight ad how she found her way back

Page 38: Home Alone turns 30 -- in honor of the holiday classic’s milestone anniversary secrets and trivia about the movie and its stars

Page 40: Feel the Burn -- fitness fanatic Morgan Coleman is here to take your home workout up a notch

Page 42: Healthy Holidays -- how stars stay fit and feeling their best during the festive season

Page 46: Style Week -- Olivia Culpo has teamed up with her siblings on an exclusive collection for Macy’s

Page 48: What’s Hot Right Now -- Madewell wants you to Make Weekends Longer with its new sustainable MWL collection

Page 49: Steal Her Style -- Drew Barrymore

Page 50: Dress the Halls -- festive pieces to rock through the holidays even if you’re celebrating at home -- AnnaSophia Robb

Page 54: Entertainment

Page 55: Q&A -- Jake Tyson

Page 58: Buzz -- Just weeks after Kim Kardashian West was slammed over her 40th birthday bash Kendall Jenner received similar criticism for throwing a jam-packed soiree for her 25th birthday

Page 60: Sound Bites -- Cameron Diaz on having a baby at 47, Conan O’Brien on the props that were stolen from his late-night set, Sacha Baron Cohen joking that he and his wife Isla Fisher are not A-listers, Anne Hathaway on the embarrassing ways she handled the lockdown

Page 61: Florence Pugh on her close relationship with her Black Widow costar Scarlett Johansson, Christine Quinn on not being bothered by negative comments, Chelsea Handler on crushing on New York governor Andrew Cuomo

Page 62: Horoscope -- Lisa Bonet turned 53 on November 16

Page 64: By the Numbers -- Colin Jost

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