#better than dying to swarm poison tho

[spooky-activity]

A little after this happened, the two ran into some remnants of the Swarm! Just what is the Trailblazer up to?

[hell-heron]

I finally watched the italian 2013 Romeo and Juliet miniseries with Alessandra Mastronardi and honestly I hate everything about it but specifically:

- i LOVE Alessandra and she was my childhood but she’s too old for this. Romeo also is too old for this - they went for a more mature angle and I hate it. And Elena Sofia Ricci is too young to be the Nurse (but very done and funny, also she and Alessandra played mother and daughter in the past so they have a chemistry that makes me cry) Also why is it set in the snowy mountains somewhere in Trentino, what’s this, and mostly, if we’re so keen on changing setting and stuff, why did no one in this wretched boot made it in a 19th century setting with pro unity folks VS austrian loyalists

- There’s also Ken Duken (Anatole in War and peace 2007) as Mercutio, it’s not a criticism because he’s lovely and good at it and an adorable little shit. But it severely weirds me out. Also HE is the sensible one and Romeo the one who has the idea of sneaking to the ball???

- Apparently Juliet has an older sister, Ursula who is betrothed with Paris and hella jealous and catty that Paris loves Juliet instead (?) so she told tales on her and Romeo. Romeo has a younger brother, Antonio, instead of Benvolio (insert appropriate wailing for this tragic loss) who is a violent little shit

- I liked that Juliet’s first line was “I’m stronger than you think”. I liked less that the first scene is literally ROMEO&CO SETTING THE CAPULET’S CARRIAGE ON FIRE wtf and Romeo saves her from rape like in the worst trash action movies. He also kills a man immediately which imho ruins all the impact of him killing Tybalt but okay I guess we all hate innocence and men showing emotion here. Apparently Romeo used to believe in Revenge but Juliet changed him? Ugh

- They made Tybalt in love with Juliet AND southern (or at least it seems to me it’s implied by some lines, I don’t know if the actor is southern too) Such an hot take! What a fresh and interesting casting for the literal embodiement of jealousy and murder!! Really the proper message in a story which is supposed to be against prejudice and domestic conflict! (he was a pretty and badass guy though, so it’s forgiven).

- There’s a dynamic that Lord Capulet promised him he’d marry Juliet, but actually he has no intention whatsoever to give her to him and just uses it as an excuse to criticize him and say he’s not worthy, also the family fortune is in shambles and there’s a more wealthy suitor and the family’s wellbeing is more important than Tybalt’s even thought he always sacrificed himself for the family - man this is even more Nikolai\Sonya than it usually is. Marriage shit otherwise, they could be a very sweet brotp and she calls him “like a brother to me” a lot, so fuck you for ruining this with this romantic nonsense I guess.

- Lady Capulet is so shrewd and political and dominates her husband and I love her, she’s my only joy here. That and the Capulets having cats swarming everywhere.

- Oh and one part I like is when they do some adorable love\hate roleplay and make under a stage where a bad Midsummer production is taking place

- OHHHH WAIT Mercutio turned out to be on the verge to poison himself for his long lost love which WHAT that really did came out of nowhere. If they had any chemistry here, I might choose to think it’s about Tybalt but it’s not worth it with what little they interact. Oh I might think it’s an hypotetical dead Benvolio, but it seems this person dumped him rather than dying, and I don’t see Benvolio dumping him

- Now Tybalt, who apparently thinks he is in Assassin’s creed, is climbing over the Montague castle walls and setting fire to the barn. Classic. Oh and Romeo saved Juliet from rape AGAIN

- Oh the wedding happened - not much to say about it. Now Tybalt and Juliet are making out. Well he’s kissing her, she isn’t enthusiastic. Sweet. Also  “I can’t compete with powerful Paris or handsome Romeo. Come on, say it, I’m just the orphan cousin” MAN. I’m marginally happy, tho, because if he’s an orphan he’s not the son of the uncle from the South, so my suspicion there was the usual prejudice about Southern people and violent jealousy here was off

- “We’ll make up new words to say what words can’t say.” “For example?” “I love you, Juliet Capulet” I’m pretty sure these words already exist. 

- Oh Ursula wants to run away, I wish I had some sympathy for her but she’s been a bitch this whole time. Ohh Juliet told her “Can’t you understand neither of us has a choice” poor girl. ...but why is literally no one in this family doing anything about their daughter running away from home in plain sight except Lady Capulet looking a bit upset? This is fully preventable??

- Mercutio is drunk and having knives trown at him on a bet. Also, he’s said to be metaphorically in love with death instead of life, which is beyond bad but he’s still the best character here. Also confirmation that what happened to him is that the woman he loved married someone else. I didn’t need this. OHHHH Romeo took his potion vial an helpful tool that will be useful later...

- Apparently the Bad Thing  happens on Christmas day, literally an hour before Romeo and Juliet were supposed to announce their wedding and fix everything :( oh and we got literally 5 seconds of Mercutio and Juliet bonding at mass, I liked that

- Ken Duken Is Deeply Stressed By His Man Crush’s Dueling Endeavors, A Rai Production

- “I played with death, now death plays me” oh Mercutio this made me sad :( they did the unintentional stabbing but it’s a bit weirdly since Tybalt seemed pretty serious about dueling with Mercutio, not like in 1968 where they looked like 13 year olds playing at pro wrestlers. But Lord Capulet didn’t believe him and beat the shit out of him and said he “won’t cover for him this time” which is fucking rich since it’s said all Tybalt did until now it was because his uncle ordered him and just now he gets mad becaus it makes the family look bad. OH HE KICKED HIM OUT OF THE HOUSE TOO WHAT THE HELL. Literally compelled 3 children out of 3 to quit the family, what the fuck’s wrong with this guy

- Yeah, they didn’t make Romeo kill Tybalt immediately but rather go look for him at his own house, which... looks bad, since it’s more sympatethic if it’s a moment of madness, he really isn’t a premeditated vengeance guy. To make up for it, now his entire family is bullying him into Revenge and calling him a coward. Can I file for adoption of all this guys much older than me?

- AAAAAGH now Juliet is begging Romeo not to kill Tybalt and he gave her back the wedding ring and said her love made him weak and I suddenly hate this again why why why. And she was already sad for Mercutio who she knew five minutes, now she’s getting much worse, she deserves better than this. Oh, Tybalt is fighting with a longsword in each hand because why fucking not, and it was decided Juliet has to witness the fight because WHY FUCKING NOT. And we’re giving the violent Montague baby brother Benvolio’s role because WHY FUCKING NOT. 

- Romeo improved a bit in the post duel part, at least he seems a bit more vulnerable. He snapped at his mom and gave up his family name but that’s understandable since, again, it’s them who pushed him to kill. I may be relating to him a little because I, too, never made any fucking decision on my own and then bitch when it turns out bad

- Paris is a fucking sleezeball iwth no respect for people’s mourning, the Capulets can’t stop scheming even at the funeral and apparently beat the shit out of 2\3 of their children, and Juliet fucking forgave the guy already? The only good people left here are Friar Lawrence and the nurse. I felt really bad because she got bullied by Lady Capulet so much, and he calls Romeo out on his bullshit so well

- Okay, I warmed up to Romeo and Juliet again when they started fantastizing about four children and family Christmas dinners where everyone argues

- Ok the whole ending was actually pretty good and sad, especially all the family arguments. Alessandra was really good here. Also there was Ursula calling out Paris at Juliet’s funeral and I live for that

- OH AND THEY DID THE THING WHERE JULIET WAKES UP WHILE ROMEO DIES BECAUSE WE HATE JOY IN THIS COUNTRY and this lasts so long they have time to have a conversation and talk about peace and children and marble castles again and this took a bad turn

[theladypirate]

@pyrrhy so idk why but I got your ask about Lily-of-the-valley in a weird format (and never got notified) and then tumblr mobile ate it when I went to answer it bc it's a friggin garbage app. Lucky me tho I wrote the numbers down so here's the answers :D (some of these I also answer for Max, and a few others) Lily-of-the-Valley is a half orc paladin who likes animals more than people and has infinite patience. She's part of a campaign we sometimes run when we're down a person. 2. Do they have any daily rituals? Lily prays every morning, just a short little 5 minute thing, more out of habit from when she was in training. Also she has breakfast with her dog, and puts her hair into complicated braids. She was an angry child, abandoned at birth at a monastery, and the monks taught her how to keep her hands busy doing something useful, instead of destructive. She's still angry as an adult, but she's got a better handle on it. Pi (75 year old male cleric to Persephone) also prays every morning, but it's more like an extended meditation. He also runs a mile or so every day, and tries to make AT LEAST one terrible dad joke every day. 7. Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time. Lily is twitchy and can't sit still, wasting time is not something that sits well with her. When she hasn't got a specific thing she's supposed to be doing, she'll go find something that needs done. Sometimes that means cutting wood for neighbors. Sometimes that means taking her giant slobbery warhound around town to be swarmed by children (the dog is a giant baby who loves attention) while she eyeballs local pet shops. Tu'an will happily go get day drunk and pick a fight in a dive bar. In her opinion no time is wasted is you enjoyed wasting it. 15. Biggest and smallest short term goal? Lily's biggest short term goal is to befriend a dragon. Her smallest short term goal is to get a bird friend. Max's current biggest short term goal is to not die, as they've found themselves in something of a pickle. Their smallest short term goal is to hopefully remain sane while not dying. Max worries me. 27. What is their biggest regret? Lily's regrets have less to do it her personally and more to do with the world at large. She regrets that she isn't capable of affecting more change on her own. She regrets how violent the world has made her be. She regrets that there is no way to pet every dog in the whole world. Hazel's biggest regret is that she never got say goodbye to her mom. Tu'an's biggest regret is that Grevenia isn't a smoldering ruin. 31. Most prized possession? While she doesn't really approve of calling them 'possessions' bc they're living things, her dog, and her horse, are the most precious prized things she keeps. Max's most prized possession is a locket with a trick lock. What's inside? They don't think that's any of your business. Piebald (a gnomeish pirate tinkerer with vitiligo who builds canons for Moira) built a big canon he named Loudmouth. It's currently still being tweaked but it's 3 times as powerful as the ones currently installed on the ship and is shaping up to be truly terrifying. 36. What makes them feel guilty? Lily feels guilty about her whole existence, since she was obviously unwanted. She channels that guilt into an almost obsessive need to make things around her more orderly and just... better. She wants to prove that she's worth something, that her birth wasn't a mistake. Arusha feels guilty when she realizes people like her, bc she's got serious Imposter Syndrome, she feels like she tricked them into thinking she's something she's not. 39. What recharges them when they’re feeling drained? For Lily, getting away from people and spending time with her dog. For Amris (half elven druid/monk who ran away from a reclusive militant cult) spending time getting her hands dirty planting things. The city she's in right now has seen a marked uptick in random plants (wildflowers, corn, bean sprouts, poison ivy, etc.) just... sprouting up overnight in the strangest areas. 47. If they were to fall in love, who (or what) is their ideal? Lily hasn't got time for love she's very busy. She falls somewhere on the aro scale, either demi romantic or gray romantic. Max is pansexual and they are a giant nerd who would want to either sweep someone off their feet, or BE swept off their feet. They idolize the kinds of sweeping romantic tales where there are passionate declarations of love, and thrilling obstacles to be overcome, and banter. They love banter. Of utmost importance to them is loyalty- (this does not necessarily mean monogamy), that the other person is just as dedicated and supportive and honest as they are. Tu'an likes smol angry people, she thinks they're both adorable AND deadly, which is the perfect combination. Amris is So Gay someone please help her she is Overcome every time she sees a pretty girl, tho tbh given her life to this point her ideal romance is just. Someone who is nice to her. And in no way connected to her former life.