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morningfears · 5 years

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Morning Fears [Chapter Three]

Rating: M | This is smut so no one under 18!

Summary: Charlotte and Luke haven’t seen one another in three weeks. They're both afraid of their feelings, however, they know they can’t keep running from them. | Charlotte Harper met Dylan Hemmings her freshman year of college when the two girls were randomly assigned to be roommates. With Dylan came her father, Luke. Charlotte never expected Dylan to become her best friend and she certainly never expected her small crush on Luke to become anything more. But when Dylan left her alone at their graduation party and Luke offered to take Charlotte home, their lives changed. | This is an AU in which Luke is a single father (aged 40/41) and Charlotte is a recent college graduate (22).

Word Count: 25k [.....I’m very, very sorry]

CHAPTER ONE | CHAPTER TWO

Growing up, Luke had never imagined that he would enjoy being stuck behind a desk. As a teenager, he always envisioned himself on a stage, well into late adulthood. As a twenty-something, he imagined that he would spend the entirety of his career in the studio, producing for artists that reminded him a little too much of what he could’ve been. However, the older he got, the more he craved a sense of stability that sitting behind a desk offered. His office, a stereotypical corner office that provided a beautiful view of Los Angeles, was something that he hadn’t imagined he’d love as much as he did. But being there, settled behind his desk with a stack of paperwork in front of him and a demo one of his newest signings had been working on playing in the background, felt like home.

For twenty-two years, Luke had all but avoided the stuffy office that now felt like home. When he first began working in the industry (truly working, not just serving as an intern that only fetched coffee or cleaned up after recording sessions), fresh out of college with a dream and a newborn, he started his career with a small Los Angeles label. When he began working for that label, one that had been left in the nineties with his lip ring and ripped jeans, he was confined to the recording booth. He’d been a engineer at first, working long hours and living with his parents so that Dylan had some semblance of stability in her life. He spent three years working for that label and, despite the grueling schedule and hard work, he managed to make a name for himself.

In 2000, with a toddler and a little work experience under his belt, Luke made the move to record producer. After the first label went under, Luke began working for a major label that he’d interned for as a teenager. It was different, being the one ordering coffee instead of fetching it, but he didn’t have time to wallow in nostalgia as his hard work, easygoing personality, and adaptability made him a favorite to work with while his ear and bold choices - that always ended with another song hitting the charts - made him a company favorite. By the time Dylan started school, Luke had saved up enough to buy a small house for the two of them near his parents. It was small, cramped and always crowded with musicians working on their next song, but it belonged to the two of them and he was proud.

During the first ten or so years of Dylan’s life, Luke worked more than he wanted to. He really only saw Dylan in the morning when he took her to school or at night when he tucked her in before he headed back to the studio to finish a session. He hadn’t wanted to be an absentee parent, not when it was just the two of them, but he constantly told himself that he was doing what he needed to do in order to make sure Dylan would have everything she ever needed. He was saving for college, for a bigger home, for a better life, but every day that passed without really getting to spend time with her grew harder and harder on him.

It wasn’t until Dylan’s tween years that Luke took on a more managerial role at the label. With the salary increase came a mountain of paperwork and an opportunity to move into a home that afforded him a small home office. He was able to fit a small piano in the corner, his guitar beside his desk, and that was all he needed. He avoided the little office they’d designated his at the label as often as he could. He worked there during the day, when Dylan was away at school, but as soon as the clock struck three, Luke could be found at home.

The sound of giggling teenage girls whenever Dylan had friends over or the sounds of her practicing her piano - a skill that she tried hard to master but one that she, unfortunately, did not inherit from her father - would have driven other people crazy as they tried to finish important paperwork. Luke, however, reveled in those sounds. They meant that he was present, just a few doors down in case Dylan ever needed him, and he remained in his home office even after he was promoted to CEO after twenty years in the industry.

With the title of CEO came a new corner office, the one that he spent his days locked away in after Dylan moved out. If anyone asked, he would tell them that he worked from his actual office now because there was no longer a reason to stay home. However, the truth was that without the sound of Dylan chatting with friends or just making noise somewhere in the house, his home office felt too solemn.

In the four years that had passed since Dylan moved out, Luke had only spent a few days working in his home office. He reserved that office for special occasions - when a contract needed his approval immediately or when there was a fire that he needed to help put out - and for the time that Dylan spent at home. Luke had never minded the noise that seemed to follow Dylan wherever she went - she had certainly taken after her uncles in that she was louder than Luke had ever dreamed of being. If he was being honest with himself, Luke worked better with a little chaos surrounding him. However, there was a great distinction between the chaos of a shouting teenager and the inner turmoil of a guilty conscience.

The silence of his home office left him alone with his thoughts. When there was nothing to think about other than work, he didn’t mind it as much. However, as of late, work seemed to be the last thing on his mind. Though he had been spending more time in his office than ever in the three weeks since the night he shared with Charlotte and was just as productive as he had always been, he found that his thoughts wandered frequently. He hadn’t been so hung up over a woman in more than twenty years and, at first, it was irritating.

Luke didn’t like to be distracted. The noise that Dylan had made as a child had never distracted him. If anything, it kept him focused on the task at hand. The notifications from Ashton or Calum or Michael, asking if he wanted to go out for a drink, never distracted him. If anything, they made him work faster so that he could enjoy his night off with friends. The short relationships he’d had, the ones that never lasted longer than a few weeks, never distracted him. If anything, they kept him in his office so that he would have an excuse to cancel dinner plans.

The sporadic prickle of guilt that shot down his spine or the unfamiliar feeling of anxiety that pooled in the pit of his stomach at the most inopportune times, though, distracted him greatly.

If he was being honest with himself, as he had been with Ashton when the pair of them talked about it the night before, Luke could no longer say that he still didn’t quite know how he felt about the whole ordeal with Charlotte. He had wanted to write it off, to claim that it didn’t matter and that life would be back to normal before he could blink. However, three weeks had passed without so much as an indication that she read his text message and it still bothered him. He had admitted to Ashton that he felt guilty for leaving her and that he didn’t blame her one bit for ignoring his feeble attempt to reach out. In fact, he wouldn’t have been surprised if she was still angry with him, still hurt and embarrassed, and didn’t want their paths to cross again.

He had rambled for far too long to the only person in his life that knew anything about the situation and Ashton, ever the voice of wisdom in their friendship, began to understand the depth of Luke’s feelings for Charlotte. Ashton had been friends with Luke for decades and knew him better than almost anyone. For that reason, he knew that telling Luke that he felt an affection for Charlotte that could grow into love if it was properly nurtured would fall on deaf ears. So, instead of spelling out the obvious for his friend, Ashton implored Luke to delve deeper and to truly contemplate his feelings for Charlotte. He encouraged him to really weigh his options, to give this the thought it deserved, and then decide on the best course of action. Though this was the logical route, Luke had been avoiding it. He knew, deep down, what he would find in his heart if he searched too hard. He knew that he would reach a conclusion that he wasn’t sure he’d like but as he sat in his oversized office chair, eyes glued to the plate glass window that afforded him a gorgeous view of his city, he found his thoughts straying to her.

Luke had always been what his friends liked to call picky. Or, if you asked Michael, unlucky. Though he had grown confident in his looks, secure in labelling himself handsome, and believed himself to be a good companion, he had a relatively short romantic history. He had only ever really been in love once. Her name was Anna and they had met their freshman year of college. Luke hadn’t been looking for anything, he only wanted a degree and a ticket away from home, but when he was placed with Anna in his biology 101 lab, he had known right away that he was going to love her. If you asked him to recount the tale of their three and a half years, it would’ve sounded like something straight out of a movie. They had been madly in love, the couple that their friends teased any chance they got, before things ended on a bitter note. Their love story ended with Luke graduating with a broken heart and a newborn to care for alone as Anna moved across the country to attend graduate school.

Although Luke had, by no means, taken a vow of celibacy or consciously decided not to date after Anna, his love life was always the last thing on his mind. He’d been dedicated to work, to moving up the ladder and making a name for himself in the business, and any time not spent in a studio was devoted to his daughter. In the twenty-two years since Dylan’s birth, Luke had only had a handful of flings that Dylan knew about - even fewer that she didn’t know about - and hadn’t felt that instant connection with any of them. In fact, he had been the one to end almost every fling as he just wasn’t interested.

After Anna, a small part of Luke gave up hope that he’d ever find love again. He told himself that he didn’t need it, not when he had his little girl and his job to keep him busy, but he’d always secretly hoped that he’d feel that spark again someday. He secretly worried that he’d experienced the only romantic love he’d ever know too early, that a broken heart and a lifetime of solitude was all that was left for him after three such magical years, but as his mind drifted to Charlotte, he felt a glimmer of hope that he’d been wrong.

With Charlotte, there was no love at first sight. The moment he laid eyes on her, he only saw her for what she was; a shy eighteen-year old who was overwhelmed at the prospect of starting school and anxious to make something of her life. She reminded him a little of himself at that age, wide-eyed and afraid but ready to take on the world, and he’d wanted to protect her. He had hoped that Dylan would befriend her, that they would become partners in crime the way he and his freshman year roommate, Calum, had and he hadn’t been disappointed. With every update Dylan gave him, with every Saturday lunch they shared, he got a little more information about Charlotte and found himself very happy that his daughter had found someone so good.

Luke and Charlotte didn’t interact much in person. She said hello to him if Dylan happened to FaceTime him while she was in the room or declined his invitation to join them for lunch if he stopped by their apartment to pick Dylan up but Luke never really saw her. It took him two years to truly look at her, to see her, and, as he stared out his window, he realized that it took him two more years to admit that fact to himself.

Luke remembered the night that he realized Charlotte was more than just a sweet girl his daughter had befriended vividly. It had been seared into his memory, somewhere deep in his subconscious, and buried beneath the denial and vague feeling of guilt. That night, two days after Christmas, a day before they would be leaving for their annual vacation - this time with Charlotte in tow - and three days before Dylan’s twentieth birthday, Luke had been alone with Charlotte for the first time and had felt those sparks that he’d been desperate to feel once more.

The clock on the wall in Luke’s office read a little after one in the morning and, after a day of laughter and noise, the house had fallen silent. Dylan and Charlotte had taken up residence in his usually quiet home, Charlotte having just returned from spending Christmas with her family and Dylan having decided to sleep in her old bedroom for the week instead of commuting back to her apartment. Their suitcases were at the foot of the stairs, packed and ready for the morning when they would leave Hemmings’ annual new year vacation, and Luke had lost count of how many times Charlotte had thanked him for letting Dylan invite her.

Charlotte and Dylan had spent the day together, the pair of them watching The Simpsons and giggling about Dylan’s new boyfriend, Alex - who Luke actually liked and hoped would stick around - or listening to music as they discussed their respective futures. Luke had wandered in and out of their day, eating lunch with them when Dylan ordered Vietnamese or sitting down to watch an episode when he needed a break from paperwork, but he’d ultimately left them alone. He knew that the three of them would be spending copious amounts of time together on the trip so he figured he’d give them time to be without him.

As Luke savored the silence, a content sigh leaving his lips as he leaned back in his office chair and blinked away the words seemingly imprinted on his eyelids, he felt a wave of calm wash over him. The mountain of paperwork he’d brought home from the office had dwindled to a manageable mound and the pages that were left could wait until the new year. He was excited for the trip, happy for a chance to get away from the city and away from the stress that had fallen on his shoulders, and was happy that Dylan was finally comfortable enough to invite a friend to join them. Dylan had never had a friend like Charlotte, had never been so happy with any of her friends, and Luke was proud to see it.

Charlotte was the first friend of Dylan’s that Luke had taken an instant liking to. She was the complete opposite of his daughter. While Dylan was a hurricane of personality, all smiles and grand gestures as she commanded the attention of whatever room she entered, Charlotte was more subdued. Charlotte was quiet, soft smiles and unseen acts of kindness as she remained in the background. Her words were well thought out, each one had an impact, and Luke saw a bit of himself in her. The more he got to know her, the more he liked her. She was a good balance for his daughter, a calming presence that encouraged her to think before she acted, and Luke knew that with Charlotte in her life, he didn’t need to worry (as much) about Dylan.

Luke never really thought about why he liked Charlotte so much. He imagined that it was their similar personalities, or maybe it was the fact that Charlotte was such an old soul, but, whatever it was, he chalked it up to fondness for the twenty-year old and left it at that.

As his thoughts revolved around Charlotte, an odd occurrence that mildly unsettled Luke, he became aware of the quiet sound of feet against the wood floor. He strained his ears for a moment, his eyebrows furrowed as he listened to the soft sound of someone moving down the hall, and decided that it wasn’t Dylan. She would never move so softly. He had always teased her about stomping down the hall, joked that he could hear her coming from a mile away, and idly wondered if Charlotte was alright as the footsteps grew closer.

Luke hesitated for a moment before he stood from his chair and crossed his office to stop in the doorway. He stood there for a moment and watched Charlotte wander down the hall. She was glancing at pictures on the walls, some of him in his youth, many more of Dylan as she grew up, and he felt a fond smile curl his lips as he watched her giggle at the picture he’d taken of Dylan after Michael had let her cut her own hair. That was one of his favorite images, one that he remembered taking vividly, and he loved to remind Dylan of it any chance he got. He remained silent for a moment, contemplating whether he should leave Charlotte alone or check on her, before he decided to do the latter.

“I think she was four or five there,” Luke informed Charlotte, his voice quiet in the silence of the house, “My mom had a doctor’s appointment so I let my friend Michael and his wife, fiancé at the time, watch her. They wanted practice, you know? He let her cut her own hair and I thought it was funny but my mom cried when she saw what happened and made me swear that I wouldn’t let Michael babysit again.”

Charlotte jumped at the sound of Luke’s voice. Her parents were early birds, always in bed hours before she even thought about turning in, so to see Luke awake so late was a bit jarring. She worried, briefly, that he’d be upset that she was wandering around so late at night, however, as she turned to face him with a sheepish, almost apologetic, smile on her lips, she was relieved to see that Luke was smiling at her. The expression on his face was warm, if a bit exhausted, and Charlotte couldn’t hold back the giggle that bubbled in her throat at the story Luke told her.

“I guess some things never change, huh?” Charlotte questioned, a small smile on her lips as she glanced back at the photo of Dylan with wildly uneven hair and a bright grin on her lips. When she returned her gaze to Luke, she noticed the quirk of his eyebrows and laughed slightly as she explained, “I had to talk her out of cutting her own bangs a few weeks ago.” When Luke heaved a mock exhausted sigh, a small smile on his lips as he realized that his daughter was still very much the headstrong girl she’d always been, Charlotte continued. “We watched this movie and the lead girl had really pretty curly hair like D’s. She got bangs at some point in the movie and D swore she could cut her own hair and make it look just like that but all we had was kitchen shears so she eventually backed down.”

Luke shook his head fondly, a huff of laughter leaving his lips as he watched Charlotte’s attention return to the wall full of photos. “I think you’re the majority of her impulse control at this point,” Luke informed her quietly as he watched her glance at a photo he had taken when he was her age. He was dressed in a pair of ripped jeans, a Guns N Roses t-shirt, and had a flannel tied around his waist. His nails had been painted black and he couldn’t help but think about how young he looked there. “I was about your age in that photo,” he informed her as he slowly crossed the hall to stand beside her. “Grunge was big.” He paused for a moment, watching her attention flicker from the photo of him to one of Dylan with three men Charlotte didn’t know. “The blonde one is Michael, the one with the buzz cut and Nine Inch Nails shirt is Calum, and the one with black hair is Ashton. They’re still my best friends. I take it Dylan’s asleep now?”

Charlotte hummed her confirmation with a slight nod as her gaze shifted to a photo of Luke and baby Dylan with an older couple that she correctly identified as his parents. “She fell asleep about an hour ago. I was going to get some water but the pictures caught my eye. I’m sorry for being nosy.”

Luke glanced at Charlotte, a ghost of a smile on his lips, and studied her as she continued glancing at the photos. In the day that she’d been in his home, the conversations he’d had with Dylan in the past came to mind. She’d given him snippets of Charlotte’s life, had told him stories of how awful her parents had been to her, and he realized that what he originally interpreted as politeness was a desire to be as unobtrusive as possible. She’d grown up in a home where she was seen as a nuisance, as an annoyance rather than a joy, and it broke his heart to see her so used to being treated that way. Instead of allowing her to apologize for her curiosity, a trait that he greatly admired in her, he waved off her apology.

“Don’t be,” Luke assured her softly as he kept his eyes on her. “The photos are here to be seen and you’re welcome to explore wherever you’d like. I can tell you the stories behind some of the other photos, if you’d like,” he offered as he watched her lips quirk into a smile as she caught sight of a photo of him and the guys, taken shortly after they’d tossed Michael into a pool to celebrate his twenty-first birthday. “Or you can just explore on your own."

“That’s alright, Mr. Hem- um, Luke,” Charlotte corrected herself, her tone hesitant as she remembered that he had told her time and time again to just call him Luke. Luke bit back a smile at the pink flush of her cheeks and felt his heart ache in his chest as she politely denied his offer. “You really don’t have to. I’m sure you were busy so I’ll just go get some water and try to go to sleep. Thank you for telling me about these.”

“I was finishing up for the night,” Luke informed her as he folded his arms over his chest and watched her bounce on the balls of her feet. She was nervous, that much was clear, and Luke wondered if it was because of the crush that she harbored for him or if it was simply because he was an adult and her parents had instilled a fear of authority in her. He found himself hoping that it was the former, that he could live with, as he offered, “You can explore my office, if you want. Dylan told me that you like to read. If you don’t have anything to read on the flight, you can borrow whatever you want. I’ll be honest, I haven’t had much time to read lately so they’re all getting a little dusty.”

Luke watched as Charlotte contemplated his offer and he himself wondered why he was so desperate to make her feel at ease. He had never given any of Dylan’s friends this much attention before. Dylan had had other friends over who had ended up wandering around their home and when he’d spotted those girls, he’d bid them a quiet good night and had left them to their own devices as he shut his office door and returned to his work. It wasn’t as if he had anything to do with Charlotte and Dylan’s relationship. The pair of them were stronger than ever, the best of friends, and nothing he could say or do would change that. So, why did he feel such a strong pull to the young girl at his side?

“If you really don’t mind,” Charlotte began, her voice quiet as she glanced up at Luke from beneath her lashes, “I really would love that. The only book I brought with me is a book that we started in anthropology and I wanted to finish but I don’t particularly want to read about political corruption while sitting on a beach.”

Luke felt the strange, unexpected ball of anxiety in the pit of his stomach unravel as Charlotte accepted his offer. He didn’t give himself time to think about what that meant, about why he felt so relieved that she hadn’t turned him down, and blinked at the explanation that left her lips. It took him a moment but he laughed, a quiet huff of noise leaving his lips as he realized that was the most Charlotte answer she could have given him, before he nodded and turned toward his office. “Of course not, Charlotte,” he assured her with a smile as he gestured for her to follow him the short distance down the hall. “I don’t mind at all. Pick out whatever you’d like. Feel free to look around. I’m just going to finish up a few more things,” he informed her as he returned to his chair and reached for his pen, “but you can ask about anything.”

Instead of diving straight into his work as he’d intended, Luke watched Charlotte for a long moment. Her eyes were wide as she took in the vast rows of built-in bookshelves that lined the walls of his office. She looked slightly overwhelmed as her eyes raked over the titles. A few of the shelves were filled with music, CDs and crates full of vinyl records that Luke had collected over the years, while others were filled with binders and work documents. One wall was empty of shelves and contained a few of the commemorative records he’d been given over the years but the books that he imagined Charlotte would like, the ones that he read for fun, were close to his desk. However, instead of heading straight for those books, Charlotte paused in front of the crates of records.

She hesitated for a moment, her fingers twitching as she longed to reach out and thumb through the dusty vinyl sleeves, before she asked, “Do you mind if I look through these?” Her voice was quiet as she glanced at Luke out of the corner of her eye before she returned her attention to the crate of records in front of her. She could see a Led Zeppelin vinyl right at the front, the beautiful artwork immediately catching her attention, and she couldn’t help but mumble, “I love vinyl. There’s something really special about it.”

“Of course, Charlotte,” Luke assured her with soft smile as he watched her hands lift to pull the crate away from the wall. “I meant it when I said to feel free to explore. You don’t have to ask.”

There was nothing special about that moment, nothing out of the ordinary, but if Luke had been standing, he would’ve felt his knees go weak as he truly looked at Charlotte for what felt like the first time. Luke watched as Charlotte grabbed the Led Zeppelin album and began poring over it as if it were the most interesting thing in the world and he realized that had always seen her but he had never truly let himself look as he did now. Her dark hair was piled on top of her head in a messy bun and she wore an oversized Led Zeppelin t-shirt with a pair of shorts and a pair of fuzzy, bright green socks adorning her feet. He had never seen her dressed so casually, had never seen her look so soft and vulnerable, and he felt a jolt of lightning shoot down his spine at the sight. There was something ethereal about her, something that he couldn’t explain, and it unnerved him.

The feeling that settled in the pit of his stomach was one that he’d only felt once before, decades ago, and he almost didn’t recognize it for what it was as he watched Charlotte smile at the sight of an old Black Sabbath record. He felt a chill run down his spine as he felt his own smile grow at the sight of her happiness, however, as Charlotte’s beaming smile became etched into his memory, Luke began to realize that what Charlotte was making him feel was the same spark he’d felt for Anna in the very beginning. It was a spark that told him that one day he would love this girl, that there was more to her than he had wanted to believe, and his immediate reaction was a strong sense of denial. He was exhausted, overworked and desperate for a vacation, and that was all there was to it. The spark that he imagined, the feelings that were brewing in the pit of his stomach, were all figments of his imagination brought on by sleep deprivation and nothing more.

However, as Luke stared out his window at the city, his eyes sweeping over the buildings as they gleamed in the midday sun, he realized that what he’d felt that night hadn’t been a figment of his imagination at all. The spark that he’d felt, the shiver that had run down his spine as he’d watched Charlotte brush her fingertips over the spines of his books so gently or the way that his heartbeat had raced as he watched her clutch a book to her chest with an excited smile, had been very real and he didn’t know whether to thank himself or hate himself for repressing that memory. If he hadn’t, if he’d let himself cope with his feelings before the night that they shared, then maybe he wouldn’t be wallowing in a pit of guilt and shame as he desperately hoped she’d reach out to him. If he hadn’t repressed his feelings, denied them so strongly that he’d forgotten they even existed, he imagined that the night he and Charlotte shared would have ended very differently. He imagined that he would have seen her again, that they’d be working through how to deal with Dylan together, but he’d never know for sure.

The past was the past and, try as he might, he couldn’t erase the damage that had already been done.

Luke wondered, briefly, if it was too late to reach out again and apologize outright over a text message. The last message he sent her had been a request to meet in person, however, he knew Charlotte. She was likely embarrassed, too anxious to face him, so he imagined that apologizing over text was the only option he had. He wanted to avoid that, it felt cowardly, but the only time he’d be guaranteed to see Charlotte again was at Dylan’s engagement party. Though he knew he could get her alone without anyone finding it unusual, he didn’t think he’d be able to live with himself if he ruined Dylan’s night. Charlotte was the maid of honor and she would be there to support Dylan, not deal with the fallout of their night together, so Luke wondered if Charlotte would open the door for him if he were to show up at her apartment.

Before Luke could chide himself for considering such a ridiculous plan, showing up at her apartment unannounced would only end in disaster, the door to his office opened with a bang. The sudden noise shook him free from his reverie and he blinked to clear his head as he turned his chair toward the source of the noise. He raised an eyebrow at the sight that greeted him, his daughter and assistant glaring at one another, before he rolled his eyes and cleared his throat. Both girls turned their attention to him for a moment, Dylan offering him a pleasant smile and Emma offering him a nervous glance, before the girls returned their attention to one another. Dylan, dressed for a day out and clutching a gift box wrapped in royal blue in her hands, narrowed her eyes at Emma once more before she huffed an annoyed sigh and stepped around the girl to stroll across the room. She ignored Emma’s protests purposefully as she dropped the box on Luke’s desk with a sweet smile in her father’s direction.

Before Emma could speak, Luke raised his hand to stop her. She was new, only doing her job as she attempted to keep any guests without an appointment from barging into Luke’s office, and hadn’t met Dylan yet. Dylan, always happy to cause a bit of chaos, had clearly enjoyed riling up the new assistant and Luke wanted to spare her any further embarrassment. “It’s alright, Emma,” Luke assured her as he gestured toward the girl who Emma quickly began to realize bore a striking resemblance to her boss. “This is Dylan, my daughter. Whatever’s on my schedule, you can push it back a bit. She doesn’t make it a habit to barge in like this,” Luke defended with a cutting glance in his daughter’s direction, pleased that she had the decency to at least pretend she felt some remorse, before he continued, “but I always have time for her.”

Emma, mildly embarrassed, mumbled a sheepish apology to the both of them and left the room, closing Luke’s door behind her. Dylan, pleased with her father’s defense of her, stuck her tongue out at Emma’s retreating figure before she took a seat in one of the plush leather chairs in front of Luke’s desk. Luke didn’t bother to chide her, it never seemed to do any good, and instead waited for her to begin talking. He knew that she didn’t need any prompting, she would speak when she was ready, so he sat quietly and regarded the blue box with mild curiosity as he waited.

“It’s my ‘will you be my maid of honor’ present for Lottie,” Dylan sighed, answering Luke’s unspoken question after ab eat of silence passed. “It’s got some champagne and a cute little sash for the bachelorette party and this little polaroid scrapbook with tons of pictures of the two of us in it. I worked so hard on it,” she informed him with a slight pout. Luke didn’t speak, he simply raised an eyebrow at this. He was curious as to why Dylan had gone to such extreme lengths to ask Charlotte when he thought that had been the first thing she’d done in terms of wedding preparation. At the puzzled look on his face, Dylan huffed an annoyed sigh. “I haven’t actually formally asked Lottie to be my maid of honor yet,” she told Luke as she tugged at the hem of her dress. “She said that she would be it was a sort of tentative commitment. This is the actual thing. It’s like when people get a promise ring before they get an engagement ring, you know? I know she’s going to say yes, I just have to ask.” Dylan paused for a moment, a look of pain crossing her face, before she slumped in her seat and mumbled, “Well, I did know she was going to say yes. I’m not so sure anymore.”

The doubt in Dylan’s voice surprised Luke. He hadn’t seen much of his daughter in the three weeks since the graduation party - which, while uncommon, didn’t surprise him much as she had been busy moving into a new home with Alex and starting her first real job out of college. When he had seen Dylan, Charlotte hadn’t come up in conversation since the lunch they’d gone to the day after the party, and he had imagined that everything was alright between them. However, judging by the tone of Dylan’s voice and the doubt that she was feeling, he assumed that wasn’t the case. He hesitated for a moment, his guilt returning full force as he realized that this rift was likely the result of his night with Charlotte, before he stood from his seat and walked around the desk to be closer to her. “What do you mean, sweetheart?” he asked, though he imagined he knew, as he glanced at her and felt his heart break as he watched his daughter fight back tears.

“I haven’t heard from Lottie at all since she went home,” Dylan informed him, puffing her cheeks as she tried to keep from sounding as upset as she felt. “I know that she gets weird around her family and that she kind of shuts off from the world but she always lets me know when she gets home and when she makes it back! We get dinner when she’s back in the city and she decompresses and rants about how shitty her trip was and I tell her that she’s great and her family sucks. She got back last week, Maddie told me,” Maddie was a friend of them both who Charlotte happened to work with at a marketing agency. “She hasn’t responded to any of my texts or my snaps and it’s so unlike her. I was going to just go straight over to her place but Alex told me I should stop by here first.” Dylan paused for a moment, her lashes glistening with tears, before she mumbled, “I just keep wondering if me leaving her at the party was, like, the last straw or something. I’ve been such a shitty friend lately that I really wouldn’t blame her if it was.”

Luke breathed a heavy sigh as he reached for Dylan’s hands and tugged her up from her chair. She didn’t try to fight his affection as he pulled her into a tight hug. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face in the fabric of his shirt. Luke knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that the guilt had taken a toll on Charlotte and that it was the reason she hadn’t responded to any of Dylan’s messages. He knew that she wasn’t able to look at her, that the inner turmoil she felt was enough to keep her away from her best friend, and it hurt his heart as he internally acknowledged that it was all his fault. He desperately wanted to tell Dylan that, to assure her that she’d had nothing to do with Charlotte’s behavior, however, he knew that he couldn’t. So, instead of confessing, he rubbed her back and told her, “You’re not a shitty friend, sweetheart. You love Charlotte and she knows that. She wasn’t upset with you when I talked to her. She was annoyed with her parents and worried about going home. She was overwhelmed about grad school and in her head but she wasn’t angry at you. This is not your fault.” Luke paused for a moment, desperately hoping that his heart would remain calm as he attempted to console Dylan, before he added, “Maybe you should go see her. You’ll never know what’s happening unless you confront it head on.”

Luke knew that Dylan wouldn’t be able to rest until she’d confronted Charlotte. He also knew that Charlotte wouldn’t be able to make the first move to return to Dylan’s life. They truly were an opposite pair, different in every way, but Luke knew they needed one another. He didn’t want one night, a night that he had yet to fully process, to ruin what he knew would be a lifelong friendship. So, instead of encouraging Dylan to give Charlotte space, he pushed her out the door and back into her friend’s life. He knew that this was what Dylan needed to do and if one of them could absolve their guilt, he wanted it to be her. And as he watched Dylan gather the gift in her hands and rush out of his office, a thank you thrown over her shoulder as an afterthought, Luke decided that he would speak with Charlotte at the engagement party. He knew that he’d be able to pull her away from the crowd at the end of the night and he resolved to let her have the final say in what happened with them. If she wanted to forget the night they shared ever happened, Luke was willing to do that. If she wanted to push forward, to try and make something of their messy relationship, he was willing to do that, too.

Regardless of what she decided, Luke just wanted to know that Charlotte was alright.

If anyone were to ask, Charlotte would tell them that she was doing fine. She was tired, mentally drained from spending two weeks with her family and exhausted from working overtime to gain as much experience as possible with the little time before starting school that she had, but she didn’t dare tell anyone that. She didn’t want anyone asking questions that would make her think too hard about her mental state and she didn’t want to attempt to process her emotions. Delving too deep into the things that she felt beneath the protective layer of indifference her childhood had taught her how to build would likely send her into another bout of panic attacks and tears and that was the last thing she wanted. She realized, idly, as she lounged on her couch and watched another episode of The Simpsons, that she hadn’t actually attempted to decipher what she was feeling since her talk with Mrs. Baker in the park and that thought mildly horrified her as she watched Lisa rant about the importance of protecting the planet.

Charlotte had been a wreck before her talk with Mrs. Baker, overwhelmed and feeling every emotion so deeply that it almost crippled her, and she hated every moment of feeling that way. It made her remember why she had been so closed off as a teenager, why she had been attracted to Luke in the first place - he was supposed to be unattainable, unable to hurt her - and it made her desperate to return to that state. Feelings were exhausting, messy, and, so far, not worth the inner turmoil they caused. She had been trying, desperately, for three weeks to return to the hard-hearted cynic she had been as a young teenager but her mind kept revolving around the same few thoughts.

Luke had known what she felt for him for years. It was never a secret that she was head over heels for him, that she would do anything just to have him smile at her, so for her to throw herself at him shouldn’t have been a surprise. He was the adult in the situation, the one who should’ve known better, so Charlotte imagined that he should’ve been the one to stop her. After all, Luke knew that her anxiety would run rampant after the night hey shared. He knew that she would drive herself crazy, wondering why he’d left and how she was going to deal with Dylan, yet that hadn’t seemed to matter. He had left her, alone and anxious, and dwelling on it hurt more and more every day.

Instead of letting herself feel the hurt, instead of letting her heart heal naturally, Charlotte closed herself off. It had been easy at home. Her parents never started conversations, her siblings only asked surface level questions that could be answered in a word or two. She didn’t have any friends back home and she didn’t leave the house often enough to interact with her neighbors. Her niece, the youngest, had taken to throwing things and had dropped her cell phone into the pool the moment she’d retrieved it from her car. She hadn’t had a chance to turn it back on and Charlotte, content with being cut off from the outside world, hadn’t replaced it until the day before she drove back to Los Angeles. Withdrawing into herself, distracting herself with work projects she could do from home or with books she’d been meaning to read but hadn’t had the time to, grew easier as the days passed. The hurricane of emotions that she’d felt the morning after she and Luke slept together festered in the pit of her stomach, only occasionally bothering her, and she was content to let them rot there instead of attempting to address them.

It was easier that way.

If she had been honest with herself, though, and if she’d let herself process her emotions, she would’ve been able to admit that she knew that she needed answers. She didn’t really know what she wanted with those answers, however. She wasn’t sure if she wanted closure, if she wanted to move on from Luke and leave any and all thoughts of him behind, or if she still wanted him to just love her, as she had for so long. Whatever she settled for, she knew that she needed something other than radio silence. She couldn’t isolate herself from the world forever, she knew that, but at the moment, hiding away in her apartment was the easiest option.

A knock at her door pulled Charlotte out of her head but she made no move to get up and answer it. She stared at the stark white of her door, her eyes narrowed and a frown on her lips, as she waited for the noise to stop. She hadn’t ordered any food, wasn’t expecting a package, and knew that if it was related to the apartment itself, the building manager would just slip a letter under her door if there wasn’t an answer. It was, potentially, a case of a mistaken apartment - it had happened before - or maybe it was the Girl Scout that lived with her mother in the apartment below hers. No matter who it was, though, Charlotte didn’t plan on answering. She wanted to be left alone, to be allowed to wallow in her emptiness on her only day off, and knew that any human interaction would only irritate her. However, the noise was incessant, steadily growing louder, and she knew that there would be a noise complaint from the grumpy old lady in the apartment beside hers if she didn’t tell whoever couldn’t take a hint to go away.

Charlotte kept the fluffy white blanket she loved wrapped around her body as she shuffled to her front door and realized, a moment too late, that she should’ve glanced through the peephole to see who her visitor was. She unbolted the door and, as it swung open, she barely had time to catch sight of a mess of blonde curls before a tan hand almost made contact with her nose. Charlotte yelped, stumbling backward to avoid getting hit, and Dylan squealed as she quickly withdrew her hand. The two girls stood there for a moment, each staring at the other in mild surprise, before Dylan launched herself across the threshold and wrapped her arms around her best friend.

Although she should have expected Dylan to visit, Charlotte was still frozen in shock as the taller blonde wrapped her arms around her shoulders and held her tight against her chest. Charlotte hadn’t heard from her since the day she left Los Angeles and she had imagined that Dylan was pissed at her for ignoring her messages. After all, she’d gone two whole weeks without reaching out and that was wholly unacceptable in Dylan’s world. Charlotte had sent Dylan a message with her new phone number, letting her know that she was returning to Los Angeles, but hadn’t heard back so she’d assumed that Dylan either knew about her and Luke and was so angry that she was cutting her out of her life or that her disappearing act had hurt her feelings more than Charlotte imagined it would. However, Dylan’s actions said otherwise as she mumbled apologies that Charlotte could barely understand.

Charlotte remained frozen for a long moment before she snapped back to reality and began an attempt to break free of Dylan’s embrace. “Wait, wait,” she mumbled, her voice muffled against the fabric of Dylan’s dress, “what are you apologizing for? What are you even doing here? I’m so confused.”

Dylan allowed Charlotte to pull away from the embrace and moved around her friend, venturing deeper into the apartment, before Charlotte could stop her. She took a seat on the couch, her eyes raking over the pile of notes sitting on the edge of the coffee table and the sticky notes clinging to the outside of Charlotte’s laptop, and frowned at the clear signs of her overwork as Charlotte closed her front door and shuffled across the room to settle into the armchair to Dylan’s right. Dylan hesitated for a moment, an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach that she didn’t like, not when she was in the presence of her best friend, before she placed the royal blue box on the table beside the laptop and turned her full attention to Charlotte.

“…Lottie, I haven’t heard from you in three weeks!” Dylan exclaimed, her eyes wide as she watched Charlotte fold her legs into the chair in an effort to get more comfortable. “At first, I thought it was because of your family and then I figured that you were angry at me for ditching you at the party. I know that I’ve been a shitty friend lately and I’m so sorry. I know that it’s not an excuse but I’ve just been so overwhelmed with all the logistics of moving into the new house with Alex and starting this new job that I haven’t really stopped to think about anything else, including you. But you deserve better, Lottie, and I promise I’ll be the friend you know and sometimes hate if you give me another chance!”

Charlotte stared at Dylan, her eyes wide and her mouth slightly agape, as she took in Dylan’s apology. Although Charlotte had known that Dylan felt bad about the few times she’d blown her off before the graduation party, she hadn’t imagined that Dylan would think she was angry at her. They both had lives, they couldn’t spend every waking moment together anymore, and she’d told Dylan that the first time she apologized for having to cancel plans at the last minute. Charlotte hadn’t been angry with her then and she most certainly wasn’t angry with her now. If she was honest, she had completely forgotten that Dylan was supposed to give her a ride home from the graduation party.

The reason that Charlotte hadn’t spoken to Dylan in weeks was far worse than anger. As her eyes raked over the familiar sight of her best friend, sitting on her couch and looking as if she belonged in that spot, Charlotte thought back to the night of the graduation party. She thought about a different Hemmings, sitting on the opposite end of her couch, and about the kiss that they’d shared just a foot to Dylan’s left. She thought about the night they’d shared and hoped that Dylan would think the blush that warmed her cheeks was because of their talk. The guilt that Charlotte had felt after sleeping with Luke, after betraying her best friend, was what prompted her to go weeks without speaking to her best friend, not anger. And that guilt returned like a punch to the stomach, more intense and filling her veins with burning shame, as Dylan’s apology washed over her.

Charlotte hesitated for a moment, her words stuck in her throat and the taste of them bitter on the tip of her tongue, before she shook her head. She didn’t want to lie to Dylan but she knew that there was no way she could tell her the whole truth. Not now, anyway, not before she spoke to Luke. So, instead of apologizing for the real reason she’d kept her distance, Charlotte attempted to reassure her best friend and apologize for the things she could fix. “I’m not angry, D. Honestly, I forgot you were even supposed to give me a ride home. And I got back, no big deal. You have a life, I have a life; we’re growing up and that’s fine,” Charlotte assured the curly-haired blonde who was staring at her, wide-eyed and hopeful, “You’re not a shitty friend. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.” Charlotte paused for a moment, the guilt churning in the pit of her stomach, and dropped her head to stare at the blanket that covered her legs. She couldn’t look at Dylan as she lied to her, not about something as serious as sleeping with her father, so she kept her eyes on the green splotch that stained her blanket, a remnant of an attempt to paint her nails a long time ago, and attempted to explain as best as she could without hitting the root of the problem.

“I’m sorry I’ve been so distant these past few weeks,” Charlotte choked out, her voice quiet and shaking as she picked at the green stained fabric. She weighed her words heavily, each of them worth their weight in friendship, as her thoughts swirled rapidly in her mind. She hoped that her explanation sounded good enough as she spun her three weeks of anguish into a tale she desperately wanted Dylan to believe. “I was angry at my parents when I left town and kind of overwhelmed about, well, everything, I guess, when I got home. I got in my head and I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I should’ve just told you that instead of shutting down, I know, and I’m sorry that I didn’t.” Charlotte paused for a moment, the inky black of her nail polish a stark contrast against the fluffy white blanket, before she continued. “I didn’t have a phone most of the time I was home, anyway. My niece threw it into the pool the first night at home and I didn’t get a new one until a few days ago. I didn’t want one, didn’t want to talk to anyone, but I texted you, though, to let you know I got a new number. I thought you were mad at me for ignoring you and just didn’t respond.”

Dylan was silent for a moment, relieved that Charlotte wasn’t angry with her and vaguely surprised that her friend had managed two weeks without a cell phone, before she grabbed a throw pillow from the couch and tossed it at her. “We’re both idiots,” Dylan concluded, the relief clear in her voice as she watched Charlotte roll her eyes and place the pillow on the floor beside her chair. It was a misunderstanding, both of them too caught up in their own lives to really know what was happening with the other, and while Dylan hated that, she knew that she could tolerate it so long as it meant having her best friend back. Dylan fell silent for a brief moment before she murmured, “I didn’t get a text from you, though. Are you sure you texted the right number?”

Dylan was surprised that Charlotte didn’t roll her eyes at the question. Instead, she fixed her with a look, a half-hearted version of a look that usually had Dylan withering away from its intensity, before she reached for the shiny new device. “Pretty sure, D,” Charlotte assured her as she avoided looking at her friend by unlocking the device and beginning to scroll through her messages. “All my contacts transferred over but I’ll try it again. Maybe something went wrong the first time.”

As Charlotte tapped at her screen, Dylan watched her carefully. She hadn’t taken a good look at her when she’d first entered the apartment, too anxious to confront her, but she began wishing she had as she really looked at her. Whatever Charlotte had been overwhelmed by had clearly taken a toll on her, Dylan noticed. Charlotte had lost weight, Dylan could see it in her face and in the way her oversized t-shirt hung a little looser than before. The dark circles were prominent beneath her eyes, a clear indication that she hadn’t been sleeping, and Charlotte’s shivering was a clear sign that she was more anxious than she let on. Dylan had lived with Charlotte before, had seen her deep in the throes of anxiety, and it was clear that Charlotte had spent three weeks battling whatever was bothering her. She knew that Charlotte would talk to her when she was ready, especially now that they both realized the other hadn’t been angry at all, but she couldn’t help but hope that she’d be ready to talk sooner rather than later. Charlotte was never rash, never one to do something impulsive or stupid, but Dylan had never seen her this rattled and she didn’t want to idly sit by as her friend plunged into a deep unknown.

Dylan hesitated for a moment, unsure of whether she should speak or not, before she settled on simply reiterating her availability should Charlotte ever need her. “I know I’ve been a bit inconsistent lately but I’m always here if you need me, Lottie,” Dylan reminded her, her voice as gentle as it could be as she watched Charlotte’s movements still. Dylan paused, waiting for Charlotte to speak, but when she remained silent, she continued her thought. “Whatever’s been bugging you is clearly a big deal and I’m here if you need to talk. You’re my person and I love you. You don’t have to be alone.”

Charlotte remained silent for a long moment and Dylan wondered if she should’ve said anything at all. However, before she could apologize for overstepping, Charlotte nodded her head. “I know,” she mumbled, her voice quiet as she kept her gaze on the phone in her hands, “I’m fine. But, thank you. I love you, too, D.” She felt a renewed surge of guilt run through her veins as she assured Dylan that she was fine, that there was nothing to worry about and that she loved her just the same as she always had, when she knew that her love for Dylan was the only truth in that sentiment.

But, then, if she’d really loved Dylan as she said she did, would Charlotte have been able to do something so potentially hurtful? It was a thought that had lingered in the back of her mind, unspoken but ever present, and she desperately wished it would stop plaguing her as she waited for her text message to go through. She loved Dylan, she knew she did, but was that enough to keep their friendship from falling apart when Dylan found out the truth?

Dylan knew that Charlotte wasn’t fine. However, she didn’t want to argue. She knew better than to push, that was always something that drove Charlotte away, but if Dylan had listened a little harder, had looked a little closer, she would’ve seen the tears glittering on Charlotte’s lashes or heard the break in her voice as she assured her that she loved her. She would’ve seen the shaking of her shoulders intensify or how her fingers could barely tap out a simple ‘hello’ on the keyboard. But she didn’t see any of those things. The moment Charlotte shut her down, Dylan stopped looking. It was what she’d always done, let Charlotte shut herself off and hope that things would get better, and it had worked thus far. So, instead of pushing and potentially losing a friend, Dylan let Charlotte go and smiled at the ‘ping’ of her phone, signifying a new message, and updated Charlotte’s contact information.

The pair of them were silent for a long moment. It was an awkward silence, one they hadn’t felt since their first meeting years ago, and it was a new feeling that neither really knew how to handle. They had always been able to talk to one another, to be open and honest about whatever happened to cross their minds, and the stifling silence felt crushing as it consumed them. Whatever was wrong with Charlotte had her closed off again, unwilling to break the awkward stalemate, and Dylan had half a mind to reach out and press play on the paused episode of The Simpsons, just to ease the tension. However, before she could reach for the remote, the shiny blue wrapping paper caught her eye. At the sight of it, she grinned, thankful for something to cut through the chill of the room, and reached out to grab the box off the table.

“I was going to give this to you tonight,” Dylan began, a small smile on her lips as she toyed with the beautifully tied white ribbon bow, “but, um, I wasn’t sure if you remembered or were still planning to come. So, I bought it over! It’s not much but it’s more than just us, sitting on the roof of my apartment building with a bottle of wine, talking about a hypothetical.”

Charlotte stared at the pretty blue box and racked her brain, unsure of what event she was supposed to be attending. The color scheme seemed familiar, significant, and she desperately wanted to remember why. Dylan could see the confusion on her face, a sign that she wouldn’t have shown had Dylan not reached out, and a hint of worry reignited in the pit of her stomach. Charlotte wasn’t one to forget important events, Charlotte wasn’t one to forget anything, but she had forgotten all about Dylan and Alex’s engagement party. She’d been too busy repressing her emotions and attempting to regain some semblance of normalcy to keep track of the day and the realization hit her like a ton of bricks as she glanced away from the box and looked at Dylan’s face. Dylan looked concerned, more than anything, and that only further knocked the air out of Charlotte’s lungs as she realized that she should’ve been getting ready for Dylan’s engagement party hours ago.

Charlotte and Dylan had planned all of the smaller details shortly after Dylan got engaged. They had focused on things that didn’t matter much in the long run but they’d been giddy, drunk on champagne and happy, as they ironed out the details of shopping trips to come. Charlotte was to be the maid of honor and Dylan interpreted that to mean that Charlotte would be the one to help her choose her outfits for different special events. The engagement party was supposed to be the least stressful as they would only be searching for a cute gold cocktail dress for Dylan and a royal blue one for Charlotte; an easy feat in a city as overflowing with fashion as Los Angeles. Charlotte was supposed to help Dylan find a dress for the rehearsal dinner, something pretty and flowing and white, as well as be present for the wedding dress fitting. They were supposed to get ready together, Charlotte keeping Dylan calm and making her smile with her deadpan humor as they prepared for the hordes of friends and family appearing to celebrate the happy couple. They were supposed to be a team, Charlotte helping usher Dylan into a new chapter of life.

And Charlotte had forgotten.

As Charlotte realized her mistake, the tears she’d been fighting since Dylan arrived seemed impossible to avoid. It was as if the dam burst and there was nothing keeping her from sobbing as she choked out an apology. Her guilt had been heavy, a boulder sitting on her chest and immobilizing her, but it quickly transformed into a tidal wave, drowning her in despair as she tried to cling to some semblance of coherency. She knew that she was being dramatic, that she was only this upset because she’d been refusing to deal with her emotions, but the floodgates had opened and there was no closing them as she mumbled apology after apology. The only words that Dylan could make out were, “I’m so sorry, D,” as she dropped the box back onto the table and moved to kneel in front of the chair.

“It’s okay, Lottie,” Dylan assured her, her hands gentle against Charlotte’s skin as she tried to comfort her friend. Charlotte was never the one to dissolve into hysterics, not when other people were around, so the worry Dylan had been feeling increased tenfold as Charlotte continued sobbing. Dylan imagined that she needed this, that she’d been avoiding her problems and throwing herself into work, but it hurt to see her friend so distraught. Charlotte had always been the strong one, even when she was anxious and overwhelmed, while Dylan had been the one to let her emotions get the better of her. She had never seen Charlotte cry like this, had only really seen her cry once, and she wondered what happened to get her so worked up. It had to have been important, something life altering, and Dylan’s mind raced with possibilities as she pulled Charlotte into an embrace.

“It’s okay, Lottie,” Dylan repeated as she rubbed Charlotte’s back and held her tight. She was quiet for a moment, carefully considering her words as she waited for Charlotte’s sobs to quiet, before she continued speaking. “I know this isn’t just about the party, there’s something else going on, and if you want to talk about it, I’m here. But know that I’m not upset about the party. I just want you to be okay, okay?”

Charlotte wanted to tell Dylan everything. She wanted to come clean and end her suffering, right then and there, but she couldn’t bring herself to. She didn’t know where she and Luke stood, she didn’t know what that night meant. She didn’t know what she could tell Dylan outside of, ‘Hey, I fucked your dad. Wild, right?’ It would have been messy, a harder talk than she ever intended it to be, so she kept quiet. She felt even worse about the situation, letting Dylan console her, but a part of her wanted this. She wanted someone to be there for her, someone to hold her and tell her that it would be alright, and while Dylan wasn’t the Hemmings she’d imagined, Charlotte would take what she could get.

They sat there for a long moment, both girls overwhelmed by emotions, and Charlotte gradually felt herself begin to calm. It was hard, getting herself under control again, but she managed to quiet her sobs into barely there hiccups as she nodded in response to Dylan’s consoling. It was a delayed response but it was something and Dylan felt her own heart begin to calm as Charlotte did. As she felt her relax in her hold, Dylan began to loosen her grip but remained in place, holding Charlotte and listening as she spoke. “I’m really sorry, D,” Charlotte breathed, her voice thick with emotion as she attempted to keep herself calm. “I’ve been so in my head that I didn’t even realize what day it was. I know that you’re here for me and I’ll tell you all about it someday, I just… I need time, okay?”

Dylan nodded in response to Charlotte’s declaration that she just needed some time. That wasn’t the answer that Dylan had been hoping for, not after seeing Charlotte break down, but it gave her hope that things would be alright. Charlotte verbalizing that she just needed a little space gave her hope that she knew she’d be there whenever she was ready and that they’d be able to talk it out someday, hopefully soon. Dylan knew better than to push when Charlotte verbalized her desire for space so, instead of continuing with the conversation, Dylan pulled away from the embrace and reached for the abandoned box. “Here,” she offered with a smile, her own eyes watery as she watched Charlotte avoid her gaze. “Like I said, it’s kinda small but I hope you love it.”

Charlotte hesitated, her fingers shaking as she brushed the silky ribbon holding the box closed. Dylan’s quiet encouragement, her nervous smile and rosy cheeks, told Charlotte that the gift was important but she didn’t feel that she deserved anything. She wanted to hand it back, to return to her solitude, but she couldn’t refuse it. So, instead of handing the box back to Dylan, Charlotte carefully opened it up. Inside, nestled among a pile of gold, sparkly tissue paper, was a miniature bottle of champagne, a few pieces of her favorite chocolate, a pink sash that read ‘Maid of Honor’ in bold white letters, and a small polaroid scrapbook. Charlotte felt her eyes welling with tears once more but blinked them away quickly as she tugged the scrapbook free from the box.

“I tried to go chronologically,” Dylan informed her, her voice bright as Charlotte began flipping through the pages and glancing at the photos. “You dated most of the pictures but some of them were ones I took or ones I got from other people so they don’t have dates on them. I just, I don’t know. I wanted to put all our memories together because my best college memories have you in them, Lottie. I know we’ve only been best friends for four years but it feels like I’ve known you my whole life. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had, you’re my person, and I really, really would love it if you’d be my maid of honor. I know we’ve talked about it before but this is me formally asking you.” Dylan paused for a moment, a small smile on her face as an idea popped in her head. Charlotte was distracted, her eyes on the photos, as Dylan reached into the box and grabbed the sash, before she settled onto one knee in front of Charlotte. “Charlotte Harper,” she began, a goofy grin on her lips as she looked up at Charlotte and met her eye for only the second time that day, “will you do me the incredible honor of being my maid of honor?”

Charlotte blinked, mildly surprised, before a grin made its way to her lips. “I hate you,” Charlotte laughed, the first real laugh she’d uttered in weeks, and it felt good. It felt normal, watching Dylan make the moment dramatic and easing the tension, and Charlotte realized that she’d missed normalcy. She’d missed happiness. She’d missed her best friend. So, she pretended that everything was fine for that one moment and nodded. “Yeah, D,” she confirmed, a real smile on her lips as she reached out to grab the sash from Dylan’s outstretched hands, “I would love to be your maid of honor. But please tell me this doesn’t mean I’ll be stuck with Alex’s little brother the entire time.”

“Danny’s so sweet!” Dylan huffed, a matching grin on her lips as she moved to sit cross-legged on the cool tile floor. “He’s precious and you guys will get along great. Plus, he’s single, you know,” Dylan pointed out, wagging her eyebrows as she watched Charlotte trace her fingers over the letters on the sash.

“He’s also barely 18. No thank you, D,” Charlotte denied, not willing to tell her that she had another, more important reason for not wanting anything to do with Danny. Instead of letting Dylan get started on her love life, as Charlotte imagined she would, she attempted to change the conversation. She knew that she looked like a mess, dressed in an oversized t-shirt and a pair of shorts, and that they’d made plans to go shopping. She knew that they’d be cutting it close, it was after one, but maybe they still had time. “Give me, like, ten minutes and I can be ready to go shop. I know it was supposed to be an all day thing but maybe we could still find something,” she offered as she returned the sash to the box and placed the lid back on it.

Before she could get out of her chair, Dylan shook her head. “Don’t worry, Lottie,” Dylan assured her, a smile on her lips as she shrugged. “I went with Alex’s sister a few days ago. I found a dress, just in case, and I know that you have that pretty blue one in your closet that you’ve been dying to wear.” When Charlotte slumped in her seat, upset with herself more than anything, Dylan reached out and nudged her leg. “It’s not the end of the world,” she repeated Charlotte’s earlier words, altering her voice to sound like her friend and grinning when the brunette scoffed at her. “We still have the rehearsal dinner dress and the actual wedding dress to get. I got an appointment at LOHO, that place I was telling you about, and I put you down as one of the people coming with. I’ll send you the details when I get home.”

Charlotte felt a flurry of emotions as she took in Dylan’s words. She was happy that Dylan had gotten an appointment at the bridal shop she’d fallen in love with but felt guilty that her first duty as maid of honor had been neglected. Their day had fallen through and it was entirely her fault. She wondered, idly, if she’d even be able to go shopping with Dylan for the other dresses. There was plenty of time before they truly got started on wedding preparation and she imagined that Dylan would find out about her affair with Luke before then. Charlotte didn’t want to keep it from her forever, not when she knew that the longer she waited, the worse the truth would hurt. However, she desperately wanted to keep Dylan in her life. She wanted to be a part of the wedding experience, to provide moral support and comfort whenever her friend needed it, and she wouldn’t be able to do that if Dylan cut her out of her life. But instead of verbalizing those thoughts, Charlotte nodded and offered Dylan what she hoped looked like a real smile.

“I’m glad you and Delia are getting along,” Charlotte uttered instead, proud that Dylan had spent a day with Alex’s sister, Danny’s twin, and hadn’t had a breakdown. Things had been rocky at first, Delia hadn’t really liked Dylan and had made it her mission to pull pranks on her brother’s girlfriend. Now, it seemed, those days were over and the pair of them were getting along. It made Charlotte happy, glad that something was going right, and she couldn’t help herself as she quipped, “Alex still feel left out that he’s the only one without a ‘D’ name in the entire family?”

Dylan grinned, bright and happy that Charlotte was at least pretending to be herself, and nodded. “Yeah,” she laughed, her voice returning to its usual volume as she stood from her spot on the floor. “He told me we’re not giving our kids names that start with either ‘A’ or ‘D’. Everyone’s gonna be different because he doesn’t want anyone feeling left out,” she informed Charlotte with a fond roll of her eyes as she reached for her cellphone. “That man, I love him.”

“He’s a good egg,” Charlotte agreed, a soft smile on her lips as she watched Dylan gather her belongings and prepare to leave. Their conversation had lasted for over thirty minutes, longer than they’d spoken in weeks, and it felt nice to have some normal part of her life return. She wasn’t ready for the party, not by a long shot - mostly because she knew she’d see Luke and she was, in no way, shape, or form, even remotely ready for that - but she was desperate to be there for her friend. “The party starts at seven, yeah?”

“Sure does,” Dylan nodded, watching as Charlotte stood to let her out of the apartment. “At that hotel downtown, the one we got wasted at freshman year and had to have my dad come pick us up.” If Dylan noticed Charlotte flinch at the mention of her father, she didn’t say anything. It was an involuntary response that Charlotte knew she needed to work on, one that she knew would give her away if she hoped to keep her night with Luke quiet for any length of time. Luckily, though, Dylan didn’t mention it as she reached out and hugged Charlotte once more. “I’ll see you in a few hours, Lottie. I’m glad that you don’t hate me and I’m sorry that you’ve been feeling so shitty. No matter when you decide you’re ready, I’m here. Even if it’s, like, two in the morning. I’ll be ready. Just let me know. I love you!”

Charlotte’s heart filled with a mixture of guilt and love as she hugged Dylan. She was so willing to help her, to be there for her in the only way she knew how, and it made things that much harder. She hoped that Dylan didn’t hear the hitch in her voice as she returned, “I love you, too, D,” before she released the curly haired blonde and watched her pull open the front door. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”

As Dylan left, Charlotte felt a new feeling settle into the pit of her stomach. She tried not to identify it, tried to swallow it and focus on the slight normalcy she’d gotten a dose of, but she’d opened the floodgates and couldn’t close them. The feeling wasn’t purely anxiety, nor was it purely guilt. It was some amalgamation of everything she’d felt, anxiety and guilt and panic, mixed with a dash of hope and a little excitement. She was happy for her friend, glad that she’d be there for an important event, but she felt a bit queasy as she imagined how she would confront Luke. It wasn’t a thought that had crossed her mind before this moment and, as she wandered through her apartment, she wondered if Luke would even acknowledge her.

Before the night they shared, Charlotte had liked to think that she knew Luke. She had liked to think that she knew he wouldn’t be the type to blow her off entirely, not after the anxiety he caused her, but after he left, fully aware of the hurricane of emotions she’d been experiencing, Charlotte realized that she didn’t know Luke at all. She knew that he was sweet and soft when he wanted to be, that he loved his daughter and his friends. She knew that he was a hard worker, one dedicated to his job. But none of those things told her whether he would be willing to sit down with her, to talk about the night they’d shared and figure out what to do next. None of those things explained why he’d left her, afraid and alone, and why he hadn’t reached out. None of those things helped her quell the anxiety in the pit of her stomach as she began preparing for the party far too early, just to have something to occupy her time as she attempted to plan her conversation with Luke.

It took Charlotte nearly twice as long for her to get ready as it normally would. Her hands wouldn’t stop shaking and her mind continued to wander, leaving her staring into space for minutes at a time, as she attempted to perfect her makeup. She settled on neutral colors, warm tones with a little gold in the center of her eyelid in homage to the happy couple, and curled her hair in beach-y waves. She contemplated sipping a glass of wine as she got dressed, almost desperate for the liquid courage it would afford her, but she knew that she needed to avoid alcohol. She wanted to remember her conversation with Luke, wanted to be able to speak to him without the haze of alcohol clouding her judgement, so she left the bottle in the fridge to grab when she returned home.

Charlotte had no desire to drive herself and ordered an Uber a little too close to seven for her usual comfort. She always liked to be early, she could count on one hand the number of times she’d been late to an event, but this time, she hoped that by arriving a few minutes late she would be able to avoid seeing Dylan and Alex alone. She hoped that Luke would also be late, or that he’d already be busy with relatives or family friends by the time she arrived, and that she’d have a minute to breathe before she laid eyes on him. She wasn’t ready, she knew that, and tried her best to breathe through the nerves. She spent the Uber ride to the hotel bracing herself, steeling herself, and felt a sense of confidence she hadn’t felt in weeks wash over her as they drove through the city. It was fake, she knew that, but it helped and that was all she needed.

However, her confidence was short lived and seemed to shatter into shards around her as she pulled up to the hotel.

Charlotte’s timing had been off, just enough, that they still had ten minutes before guests were scheduled to arrive. Her internal clock had sabotaged her, had gotten her there later than she normally would’ve arrived but still too early, and she bit back an annoyed whine as she watched Alex hand the valet the keys to his car. Charlotte hoped that neither he nor Dylan would see her, that they would simply head inside and let her follow, however, she had no such luck. Alex pointed her out, a smile on his lips as he waved at her, and Charlotte was barely able to return it as she caught sight of Luke. Luke had been waiting for Dylan and Alex, standing near the entrance of the hotel, and Charlotte felt her heart race at the sight of him. Her knees felt weak and her breathing grew heavier as she stared at him, unable to look away. He was focused on Dylan, smiling at her as she handed him a piece of paper, and Charlotte almost wished she could turn around and leave.

She didn’t get the chance, though, as Alex opened the door for her and offered his hand to help her out of the car. Charlotte mumbled a distracted ‘thank you’ to her driver before Alex shut the door and guided her up the steps to where Dylan and Luke stood.

Dylan looked beautiful, dressed in a stunning gold dress that complimented her skin perfectly, and Charlotte couldn’t help but smile at the sight. Alex, after squeezing Charlotte’s hand, settled into his spot beside Dylan and it warmed her heart to see the look of pure adoration on his face as he glanced down at his fiancé. They were perfect for one another, a beautiful couple that Charlotte adored, and she was happy that Dylan had come to her apartment. Regardless of the hurricane of emotion, swirling in the pit of her stomach, Charlotte wouldn’t have wanted to miss this. Dylan was her person, her best friend, and she needed to be there for her.

Charlotte’s emotions were all over the place as she took in the sight of her best friend and the love of her life, however, what really did her in was the sight of Luke. Her heart pounded in her chest as she studied him, dressed in a pair of fitted black pants and a royal blue button down with his hands shoved deep into his pockets and an unreadable expression on his face. He looked beautiful, just as ethereal as she had always seen him, and she longed to run her fingers through his golden curls once more. As she struggled to keep breathing, steady and slow, she realized that she was woefully unprepared for this. Every emotion she’d repressed hit her like a tidal wave, heavy and threatening to drown her, and there was nothing she could do except ride out the storm.

“Lottie,” Dylan cheered, her tone portraying every ounce of excitement Charlotte knew she felt, “look at you! I love that dress. You look so pretty!” Dylan breathed a happy sigh, glad that her best friend had arrived at least a few moments before the chaos truly began, and squeezed Charlotte. When she pulled away, her stormy blue eyes shining with happiness, Charlotte couldn’t help but return the smile. It felt natural, automatic like breathing, and it made her forget her guilt for a fraction of a second.

“Look at me? Look at you! You look gorgeous, D. You,” Charlotte began, turning to Alex with a small smile that didn’t really reach her eyes, though she desperately wished it did, “are very lucky. And, I mean, you look fine, too, I guess.” When Alex rolled his eyes fondly, a smile on his lips as he reached out and nudged Charlotte’s shoulder, she felt a small ounce of peace. This felt normal, showering Dylan with praise and teasing Alex, and it felt like a part of her life that she’d worried was over was returning.

“Glad to see you, Lottie,” Alex assured her with a smile as he wrapped an arm around Dylan’s waist. “I’ve missed that charming wit of yours. Oh, D told me you said yes to being the maid of honor. Danny’ll be here tonight. You guys can talk. He said he wanted to make a grand entrance at the reception so, uh, wear your dancing shoes.” When Charlotte fixed Alex with a glare, Alex grinned and winked at her. “This is going to be so fun for everyone except you.”

“Stop teasing Lottie,” Dylan instructed with a laugh as she gently swatted Alex’s arm. “Don’t make her regret agreeing to be my maid of honor. If she backs out, I’m stealing Danny and you can find a new best man,” Dylan warned, a blinding grin on her lips as she reached out to take Charlotte’s hand.

“I could always ask Luke,” Alex grinned, turning his attention to the man who was watching the three of them interact with a soft smile on his lips. When Luke shook his head, a fond laugh escaping his lips, Alex grinned in triumph. “See, he’d be down. Do we need to restructure the whole wedding, just in case?”

Dylan narrowed her eyes at him playfully, her lips pursed and her arms moving to cross over her chest, as Charlotte and Luke both shook their heads fondly. This was what everyone loved about Alex and Dylan, how fun they were together, and it made both Charlotte and Luke happy to know that Dylan had someone so good in her life. However, Luke imagined that it would be best if they avoided a play argument, one that usually ended with them chasing one another around the room, so he interjected before Dylan could speak.

“I think we should head inside,” Luke hummed, his voice quiet as he glanced at all three of them, settling on Charlotte last. He felt a ball of nerves in the pit of his stomach, a feeling that was so foreign that it almost surprised him, as they made eye contact for the first time in three weeks.

Charlotte’s knees felt weak as she lost herself in Luke’s eyes. Being in his presence, so close after three weeks of distance, had more of an effect on her than she would’ve liked. Her heart continued to race, heavy and hammering in her chest, and she desperately wanted to wither away from his gaze but found herself unable to blink first. She didn’t want to look away from him, not when all she’d wished for was to be with him once more, but she knew that she’d melt into tears if he kept looking at her that way. It was almost as if he was studying her, watching her closely and attempting to read her. He could see, deep beneath the ounce of shimmering happiness, the endless pool of anxiety that still plagued her and his resolve to speak with her only deepened.

Luckily, before Charlotte was forced to look away from the intensity of Luke’s gaze, Alex and Dylan both murmured their agreement to Luke’s suggestion. “I think we need drinks,” Dylan hummed, her voice clearly displaying her happiness as she nudged Charlotte’s shoulder and grinned. “They have that wine you like here,” Dylan reminded Charlotte with a grin as she grabbed Alex’s hand and began tugging him into the hotel. Charlotte trailed behind Dylan and Alex, Luke at her side, and watched as the pair of them chatted happily. They sounded so carefree, so light, that Charlotte felt herself continually deflate as they wandered toward the ballroom.

Charlotte knew that she couldn’t ruin Dylan’s happiness. She couldn’t tell her that she’d betrayed her trust and slept with her father behind her back. She couldn’t tell her that she’d thrown away four years of friendship for something that likely didn’t mean anything. So, she tried her hardest to keep herself in check and Luke, acutely aware of Charlotte’s inner turmoil, reached over to squeeze Charlotte’s hand gently. He kept his eyes forward, watching Dylan and Alex, and released Charlotte’s hand as quickly as he’d grabbed it but the gesture made her heart stutter as they stepped into the ballroom.

Charlotte glanced around the room in awe. The space was beautiful, decorated in white, gold, and royal blue, and Dylan lit up as she watched Charlotte begin to lose herself in the decor and wander around the room. She vaguely registered Alex speaking to Luke, informing him that he and Dylan were going to get the drinks, but she paid them no mind as she drank in the beautiful decor. She didn’t hear Luke assure them that you’d both be find, that you’d be there in case anyone arrived early, as she gently brushed her fingers along the backs of the chairs.

Charlotte half expected Luke to speak as she heard Dylan’s heels clicking out of the room as she disappeared into the small kitchen but he didn’t. Instead, he took a seat at one of the small, round tables and watched intently as she trailed her fingers along the wall beneath the row of gilded picture frames. Photos had been a large part of her relationship with Dylan and, as a result, had become equally as important to Dylan and Alex. Although Charlotte hadn’t helped plan the event, she hadn’t really been involved at all, the symbolic gesture of including a string of polaroids that she took made her smile.

She studied the wall of photos and smiled softly as she spotted a photo taken on the night that Dylan and Alex met. She was in the background, frowning as she wiped spilled beer from her jeans, and she laughed as she remembered how afraid of her Alex had been at first. Another photo, one that she took of Dylan and Alex as they left for their first date, featured them both blushing and giggling nervously. It was her favorite, one that she insisted on keeping a surprise until they’d been together for a year, and she was proud that they included it. Another picture, one from the first Christmas they spent together, reminded her that she had been just out of frame, crunching a candy cane and watching Luke snap picture after picture of his “little girl, growing up too fast.” One last picture, another that she’d taken, was from the night that Alex had asked Dylan to marry him. They’d gone ice skating and he’d decorated the rink to look like a winter wonderland, even though it was March outside.

All of the photos contained beautiful, happy memories and Charlotte felt herself falling into them headfirst. However, no matter how deep she delved into her mind, nothing seemed to help her shake the feeling of Luke’s eyes burning into her skin.

“I never really believed in any of this,” Charlotte began, her voice quiet but still managing to carry through the grand room and reach Luke. “In love, I mean. My mom’s been married a million times and my real dad is miserable and hasn’t found anyone else. My brother’s been divorced twice and is barely thirty. I thought no one got a happy ending, you know?” Charlotte hummed, pausing for a moment as she stopped in front of a picture of Dylan and Alex from the graduation party. She breathed a quiet sigh at the look of pure love radiating from the two of them and shrugged. “Then I saw Dylan and Alex together. The way that he looks at her… They’re just so happy and I can only hope that I’m lucky enough to find someone to look at me that way someday.”

Charlotte hesitated for a moment, her thoughts a jumbled mess in her head, before she turned her gaze to the floor and continued pacing slowly. She continued to speak, unsure of whether Luke was listening. “I want someone to look at me like I hung the moon and the stars just for them. I want someone to love me, even when I’m being difficult and overthinking for no reason other than that’s just how my brain works. I want someone to love me, all of me, and all of the things that come with that.” Charlotte fell silent, her heart aching in her chest as she had voiced her deepest thoughts aloud. She stood still, her feet frozen in place, as she mumbled, “Some days I think I’ll find them. I think that they’re right there, that maybe the timing just isn’t right. But other days, most days, I’m sure that they don’t exist. I’m sure that there isn’t a person like that out there for me and that’s okay. I like to think that I’ll be alright with that, that being alone won’t be so bad, but it’s hard watching everyone fall in love while I’m left behind.”

Luke, who had been listening with a heavy ache in his chest, wanted nothing more than to wrap Charlotte in his arms and assure her that there was someone out there for her. He wanted to tell her his revelation, that he could be that someone if she let him, but he worried that the damage he’d caused was too great for her to give him another chance. He wanted to explain himself, to apologize, and his body acted on that instinct. Charlotte was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t hear Luke standing from his seat. She didn’t hear the click of his boots against the floor as he moved to stand beside her and she didn’t notice his presence until she felt his fingers gently grin her chin as he encouraged her to look up at him.

“You’re too young to be this jaded, pretty girl,” he whispered, a sad smile on his lips as he brought both hands to her face and cupped her cheeks. His palms felt warm against her skin, the comfort she’d been craving, and Luke sighed sadly as she melted into his touch. His fingers gently brushed at her cheekbones, careful not to disturb her makeup, as he whispered, “You have all the time in the world to fall in love. Don’t rush it.”

Although Charlotte didn’t agree, she nodded. She found herself unable to speak. She didn’t want to open her mouth and risk more of her deepest desires escaping. She didn’t want to tell Luke that she could imagine herself falling hopeless in love with him. She didn’t want to tell him that she wasn’t rushing anything, that she’d waited four years for him, for someone to make her feel the way that he did. She didn’t want to tell him that she hadn’t bothered to look elsewhere because she’d been looking for him.

She didn’t want to jump again only for him to let her fall.

Instead of speaking, instead of telling him everything she wished he could know, Charlotte cast her gaze to the floor and hoped that Luke would take pity on her and let her go. She felt like she couldn’t breath with his hands on her, with his mouth so close to hers, and she desperately needed a breath of fresh air. However, Luke kept her in place and gently tilted her head to make her look him in the eye. He studied her for a long moment, his eyes burning into hers, and she felt vulnerable as he saw exactly what he’d been afraid of seeing.

Luke could see dark circles beneath her concealer and he could see the way her dress hung a little looser than it should have. He could see the unevenness of her eyeshadow, the minimal effort she put into something that he knew she loved doing, and it made his heart ache to realize just how greatly this had affected her. He wanted to kiss her, to press his lips to hers in a sort of apology, and he couldn’t help himself as he leaned in and brushed his nose against hers.

“We should talk,” he whispered, his voice soft as he met her eyes once more. There was more he wanted to say, so much more, but he couldn’t bring himself to add anything else as he felt her nod.

“We really should,” she agreed, her voice just as quiet as his had been. She was glad that she hadn’t had to seek him out on her own, however, the way that he touched her made her feel that their conversation was going to be an ending, rather than a beginning. She worried that he was going to tell her that it was a mistake, something that should’ve never happened, but she wouldn’t know until they actually sat down and talked about it.

Luke fell silent as he took another moment to search her face. Charlotte wasn’t sure what he was looking for, what he hoped to see, but he must’ve found it as he released his hold on her and reached into his pocket to remove a keycard in an envelope. Luke gently grabbed her wrist, his touch feather light as he said, “I’ll be in room 2305 at ten,” he informed her quietly, his eyes searching hers as he pressed the key card into her palm and curled her fingers around it. He could see the uncertainty swirling in her hazel eyes, a strong emotion clouding them, and he could tell that she was just as anxious to talk as he was. However, he also wanted to offer her an out, a way to let it all go if that was what she wanted, so he brought her hand to his mouth and pressed a gentle kiss to her knuckles. “If you’re not there by ten-thirty, I’ll understand completely. We can pretend that nothing ever happened and go back to the way things were, interacting only for Dylan, if that’s what you want."

That was the last thing Charlotte wanted, to forget that anything happened, however, before she can tell Luke that, the telltale click of Dylan’s heels signified that she and Alex were returning. Luke removed his hand from Charlotte’s wrist and stepped into place beside her. He made a comment about one of the photographs, a quiet mumble about it being cute, and Charlotte found herself nodding along as Dylan handed her a glass of wine. Charlotte could still feel her heart being rapidly as she hoped she didn’t look suspicious.

Dylan glanced at Charlotte and Luke for a long moment, her smile one of content, before she sighed happily. She looked thrilled, pleased with herself, and it helped ease Charlotte’s panic slightly. “My best friend,” Dylan sighed, “my best guy.” She paused for a moment, a grin quirking her lips, before she turned to Luke and hummed, “My best dad,” and beamed at the laugh that vibrated deep in his chest. “I love all of you so much,” Dylan informed them happily, her smile radiating pure joy as she raised her glass of champagne in a toast. “I’m so thankful that all of you are in my life. I can’t imagine it any other way.”

Although Charlotte could, at that moment, imagine things ending very differently, she chose to keep her thoughts to herself and took a gulp of wine. She hadn’t planned on drinking, however, one glass of wine to calm her nerves felt necessary as she could still feel the heat of Luke’s palms on her cheeks. She hated that, hated how such a small touch could affect her so greatly, and wanted to cry as she realized how great his hold over her was. She felt overwhelmed, however, before she had to excuse herself to take a deep breath, the first rush of guests entered the ballroom and Charlotte found herself breathing a sigh of relief as Dylan and Alex’s attention fell onto other people. She headed to her seat, the key to Luke’s hotel room weighing heavily in the pocket of her dress, and thanked her lucky stars that she hadn’t been seated at the same table as him.

The party passed in something of a blur as Charlotte mingled with friends. She was quieter than normal, however, no one found her behavior odd as she smiled and laughed when appropriate. They assumed she was overwhelmed with the crowd and let her be. Her attempted normalcy, though difficult with her mind focused squarely on what she would tell Luke, was aided by his disappearance. Luke only appeared sporadically, long enough to greet guests or to give a speech in honor of Dylan, and Charlotte wondered where he continued to wander off to. She had seen a few of his friends, Ashton and Calum and Michael, and imagined that they were keeping him company. However, the closer the clock ticked to ten, the less she saw of Luke or any of his friends. She overheard someone mention that they’d overheard him tell Dylan that something had come up and that he’d needed to leave, and her heart raced just a little faster as she began thinking up her own excuse.

Charlotte hadn’t considered how she would get Luke alone. If she was being honest, she hadn’t imagined she would get the chance. However, she decided to use Dylan’s sympathy to her advantage and used the crippling anxiety she’d been feeling as an excuse to leave. She waited for a moment, letting Dylan finish a conversation with a work friend, before she pulled her into a hug and told her that she wasn’t feeling well. Dylan, sympathetic and understanding, ushered her out of the ballroom and made her promise to call if she felt ready to talk. Charlotte felt bad for lying to Dylan, she felt guilty that she was leaving the engagement party to slip away to a hotel room with her best friend’s father, but she knew that this was necessary. They needed to talk so Charlotte promised Dylan she would and let her friend get swept away by a sea of guests before she made a break for it.

Charlotte nearly sprinted to the elevator, uncaring of how she looked as she anxiously pressed the call button. She checked the time on her phone, her heart dropping as she realized that she should’ve been upstairs five minutes ago, and she hoped desperately that Luke wouldn’t begrudge her five minutes. She felt sick, bile rising in her throat as she stepped onto the elevator, and hoped that Luke wouldn’t think she’d given up on him. She worried, the entire ride up to twenty-third floor, that she’d lost her chance to, at the very least, get a sense of closure.

By the time she reached her floor and stood in front of his room, Charlotte was ten minutes late and certain that Luke had given up on her. Luke knew that she was never late so she was certain that the ten extra minutes she took would be the end of whatever they could’ve had. Shew as certain that she was going to open the door to find the room empty, Luke nowhere to be found, but she had to know for sure. Despite the too fast tempo of her heart and the raging storm of emotion in the pit of her stomach, Charlotte blinked back the tears that threatened to spill past her lashes and pulled the key from her pocket. She took a deep, shaky breath, and carefully slipped the card into the reader before she stepped into the room.

To Charlotte’s great surprise, the room was bathed in the warm glow of lamplight and Luke was standing by the large wall of windows. His hands were shoved deep in his pockets and he wore his heart on his sleeve as he stared out over the city. He had had ample time to think this through, had agonized over it all day, and had analyzed ever possible scenario. He knew that he shouldn’t want this, he knew that he shouldn’t want her, but he did. He wanted Charlotte more than he’d wanted anyone in decades and he’d wanted her for two years, he just hadn’t been able to admit that to himself. He hated that it took causing her so much pain to realize what he wanted, however, he felt certain that they were now on the same page.

Luke hadn’t wanted to admit that he could see a future with Charlotte and, though he knew that the road would be paved with hardship for them, he didn’t want to run from her now that he had. He wanted to lean into the sparks that he felt, wanted to tell her that they could make things work. He didn’t want to run from her anymore.

He was ready to fall and he hoped that she’d be ready to jump with him.

Luke had felt his stomach drop as he watched the time, a minute late quickly turning into ten, but the moment the door beeped, the small spark of hope he’d felt returned to him. No matter the reason for her tardiness, she had come, and that was all that Luke could’ve hoped for. He wanted the opportunity to talk to her, to tell her how he felt and assure her he wanted her just as badly as she wanted him. He wanted to apologize for the anguish he’d put her through, for the anxiety he could still see in her body language as she stepped into the room.

Most of all, he wanted to promise her that she would be loved the way she deserved, if she just gave him the chance.

Charlotte lingered a few feet from him, her arms folded over her chest after she’d dropped her bag and the key card on the desk. Her voice was timid, quiet, as she apologized to him. “I’m sorry I’m so late,” she whispered, unsure of whether he wanted to hear it or not. She was afraid to burst the bubble that existed inside the room and Luke understood. They both felt a surge of fear, the unknown looming over them as they attempted to navigate a sticky situation, and Luke knew that they were on the same page. He was just as afraid of what the conversation would bring so he allowed her soft voice to wash over him as she continued speaking. “I lost track of time,” she informed him, desperate to explain herself as she carefully took a step forward. “Danny wanted to show me what he had in mind for the entrance and I was tempted to run screaming,” she joked weakly, a slight attempt to ease the tension that filled the room and weighed heavily on them both.

Luke remained still for a moment, breathing deeply to calm himself, before he turned to face her. Charlotte was relieved to find a small smile on his lips, his expression soft and fond. He couldn’t help himself. As he let himself acknowledge what he felt for Charlotte, he’d found himself smiling at little memories of her. It was a reflex, something that he hoped never left so long as they could make things work. However, neither of them dwelled on the look for long. Instead, Luke shook his head and, in a tone just as quiet as hers, assured her, “It’s alright, pretty girl. I’m not upset.”

The room fell silent as they remained in their spots, each of them studying the other. Charlotte was still nervous, anxious and uncertain, and Luke could see the rigidity in her posture as she played with the bracelet adorning her wrist. He knew that touch calmed her, that it gave her an anchor, so he breathed a quiet sigh before he held his hand out to her. “Come here,” he whispered, his gentle tone assuring her that it was a request, not a demand. To his delight, Charlotte crossed the room readily and took his hand in her own. He gave her a reassuring squeeze, not unlike the one he’d given her hours earlier. He marveled at the difference in body temperature, his hands a fiery warmth while hers were ice cold, before he released her hand and wrapped his arms around her shoulders to pull her into an embrace that he hoped would be comforting.

Even in a pair of heels, the top of Charlotte’s head barely reached above his shoulder and Luke leaned down to press a soft kiss to the crown of her head. When she relaxed against his chest and wrapped her arms tightly around his waist, Luke released a shaky breath and whispered, “You look so beautiful tonight, pretty girl.” He could feel the heat of her cheek against the exposed sliver of chest and he smiled before he pressed another soft kiss to the crown of her head. “This is a beautiful color on you,” he complimented as his fingers moved gently over the soft fabric.

They matched, both in royal blue, and it made Charlotte happy. She always saw him in black and red, in deep, rich colors, so to see him in blue was a welcome sight. “You look beautiful, too,” she returned, her voice muffled against his skin as she brushed her hands over his back, careful not to bunch the fabric of his shirt. Luke smiled at her compliment, his heart warming at her sincerity. He sometimes wondered how she could find him so attractive when he could clearly see their age difference, when he knew that he was far more attractive twenty years ago, but he knew not to question it with her. Instead, he squeezed her shoulder in gratitude as she mumbled, “I love seeing you in these types of shirts.”

“I gathered,” Luke teased softly, his voice quiet as he carefully brushed his hands over her exposed shoulders. “You stare the most when I wear them. But, for you, I’ll wear one whenever you want.” He hesitated for a moment, afraid to ruin the moment, before he breathed a quiet sigh. He carefully shifted, an attempt not to jar her, as he moved his hands to cup her cheeks. He met her gaze, his blue eyes clouded with emotion, and Charlotte felt her stomach drop as he whispered, “We need to talk.”

The soft embraces, the quiet words and whispered compliments, felt like a dream that had come to an end as Luke reminded her of what they’d snuck away for. She wanted to talk to him, she was desperate to talk to him, however, she needed a moment. “I want to,” she nodded, her voice shaking with emotion as she confirmed the reason for their meeting, “we really need to. But I’ve been so anxious about this for so long and now that you’re touching me, it feels like nothing else matters. I feel like I can breathe again and I just really need a minute to breathe.”

Luke felt his heart shatter as Charlotte spoke. He had know that the night they shared would cause her anxiety and he had known that it would be an overwhelming experience for her. However, he hadn’t realized just how hard she would take it all. His leaving had done more harm than good and he deeply regretted not staying and talking to her. If he could change the past, he would. He would’ve stayed, would’ve promised her that the night meant more to him than just a one night thing, but he imagined it was for the best that he hadn’t stayed. He had been given the chance to gather his own emotions, to reach a better understanding of what he felt about Charlotte, and he no longer felt like he was stringing her along as he stared down at her. He had finally acknowledged that he knew that he could love her, knew that he could imagine a future with her, and he hadn’t been able to acknowledge that three weeks ago. He hated that he’d had to destroy her to gather his own feelings but he felt that he was in a much better place to handle the responsibility of entering into a relationship with her now.

Luke knew that he should tell Charlotte that before anything else happened between them. He knew that they should clear the air and define what was happening before it happened, however, he found himself willing to give her whatever she wanted. He wanted to make her happy. She deserved it, more than anything, so he nodded despite his better judgement. “We need to talk,” he stressed, his tone gentle as he met her eyes, “but it can wait a minute."

Charlotte breathed a quiet sigh of relief as she melted into Luke’s touch. It felt right, being with him, and it mad her remember why she’d given into temptation weeks earlier. Luke was right for her, regardless of what her anxiety had told her, and, as she looked into his eyes, she could see that he’d come to that same conclusion. She imagined that he’d been afraid, worried that she only wanted him because she was vulnerable, but he’d gotten over his fear and it was time for her to get over hears.

She shifted in his hold, her arms loosening around his waist, and searched his eyes for any hint of regret. When she found none, only a soft adoration, she asked, “Can I kiss you?”

Luke felt as if he was flinging himself off a cliff, free falling into the unknown, as he smiled softly at her. She was still timid, still nervous, and it reminded him that she was very much the twenty-something whose parents he’d once had to ask for permission to take her out of the state. It felt strange to feel so strongly for her, to acknowledge his feelings and embrace them, but he’d come to realize that love is never convenient. It is never what you imagine it will be and always strikes when you least expect it. He wanted her, he wanted them to work more than anything in that moment, so he nodded his permission. “Any time you want, pretty girl.”

Charlotte felt as if her heart was going to beat out of her chest as she moved to wrap her arms around Luke’s neck. She stood on her tiptoes, eager to press her lips to his, and Luke smiled as he leaned down to meet her. The kiss was different than the first they’d shared, less timid and more reassuring. The kiss is comforting, a transfer of the emotions they’d both been feeling over the three weeks they’d been apart, and Charlotte felt her body relax as she focused on the feeling of Luke’s mouth on hers.

Luke’s touch was gentle as he moved his hands from her face to her waist. He gently squeezed her hip, his touch simultaneously a barely there pressure and an all encompassing feeling, before Charlotte stepped closer to him. Luke welcomed her readily, the feeling of her pressed against him overwhelming in the best way possible. He could feel the sparks he’d ignored the first time, correctly identified his feelings for what they were, and it felt freeing to acknowledge his emotions. He did his best to convey those emotions in the kiss, desperate for Charlotte to know exactly how he felt, and he knew that this would be different.

It was as if a magnet brought them together, keeping them pressed to one another as Charlotte’s hands found the buttons on Luke’s shirt and his found the zip of her dress. Neither of them seem to be able to keep their hands to themselves, both eager to feel the other once more, and Charlotte is the first to voice that desire. “We need to talk,” Charlotte breathed against his lips, desperate to catch her breath, “but I need you. Please, Lu.”

Luke knew that they shouldn’t, not until they’d talked, but he couldn’t stop himself from breathing an agreement against her lips, his words muffled by her mouth. He had never felt so desperate, had never wanted someone so badly, and it almost hurt to think about as he brought his lips back to hers. The kiss was passionate, emotional and so heavy that they both knew it’d be seared into their memories forever. It was almost distracting, keeping Luke from being able to drag the zip of her dress down in one fell swoop and making Charlotte stumble with the buttons of his shirt as she focused on the feeling.

Charlotte was overwhelmed at the feeling of Luke surrounding her, at the heaviness of the emotion in the room, but it felt right as she finally nudged the material from his shoulders and stepped out of her dress. She knew that this meant more than the first time they slept together. They’d both come to stunning conclusions with their feelings. Charlotte knew that her crush on Luke was more than that, it was more than a fleeting fancy that made her smile, and Luke had acknowledged the spark he felt whenever Charlotte was near. They both knew that they wanted to give this a shot, that they wanted to give each other a shot, and Charlotte felt somewhat certain that this wouldn’t be the last time they ended up together.

As she pulled away from the kiss, her lungs burning from the lack of oxygen, Luke’s lips found her neck as his hands found her lace covered breasts. His touch was rougher, stronger and more certain, as he palmed her breasts. She could feel his teeth scraping her skin, careful not to leave a mark but enough to send a shiver down her spine, and she moaned at the feeling of him kneading her flesh. Her hands reached for his belt, fingers shaking as she unbuckled it, before she dipped her hand beneath the waistband of his pants to palm his cock through his briefs.

Luke groaned at the feeling, a quiet curse leaving his lips as she eased a fraction of the tension he felt, and felt his teeth nip at her skin just a little too hard. He knew that she’d have a small mark in the morning, something easy to hide, and tried not to dwell on it as she brushed her fingers over the small wet spot staining the front of his briefs. They remained that way for a moment, feeling one another through the confines of their underwear, before Charlotte removed her hand from his pants and glanced up at him from beneath her lashes. Luke, already doomed to give Charlotte whatever she wanted, felt his cock twitch at the pout on her lips and removed his hands from her breasts to step out of his pants and briefs. Charlotte followed suit, the pretty black lace set hitting the floor unceremoniously, before she returned her hand to Luke’s cock.

Luke breathed a quiet groan at her touch, her hand still slightly cool against his heated skin, and watched silently as she slowly stoked. “Can I try something?” she asked, her voice somewhat timid as she watched her hand move over his cock.

“Whatever you want,” Luke nodded, one hand moving to brush the hair from her face as the other returned to her cheek. “I’m yours, pretty girl.”

Charlotte swore she stopped breathing as Luke uttered those words. They were everything she’d wanted to hear for so long. She didn’t know if he was caught up in the moment, unaware of what he was saying, or if he really meant them. However, she didn’t allow herself to dwell on the meaning as she nudged his hands away and leaned in to. Begin pressing kisses to the column of his throat. Luke watched, his hand moving to her hair, as she slowly moved lower and lower. Her lips left a trail of fire in their wake as she pressed kisses down his chest, over his stomach, and came to a stop at his hipbones. She settled on her knees, nipping at the skin and leaving a mark on his pale skin, before she settled in front of him and glanced up at him.

Luke could feel himself hardening from the simplest of touches, from seeing her on her knees before him, and it made him curse the effect she had on him. He hadn’t felt this in decades, hadn’t been so easily turned on in years, and it was almost overwhelming as he watched her lick her lips as she reached out to grip the base of his cock. “You don’t have to, pretty girl,” he breathed, his hand moving to her hair.

“I know,” Charlotte assured him, her eyes wide and earnest, “but I want to.” She kept her eyes on him for a long moment, hoping that he could see her sincerity, before she added, “I’ve wanted to for a while.”

Luke audibly groaned at her words, unable to help himself, before he nodded his consent. “Okay,” he nodded, already feeling lightheaded although she’d barely touched him. The fact that she wanted him in this way, that she was so willing to do this for him, hit him like a punch to the stomach, and it was hard to watch as he mumbled, “Go ahead, then, pretty girl. Take what you want.”

Luke didn’t know how he felt about the effect she had on him but he knew that it left him weak in the knees as he felt one of her hands grip his thigh as she began pressing kisses to his lower stomach. His hands returned to her hair, his fingers tangling in the curly strands as she nipped at his skin. He had never been one to beg, had never been one to plead with a partner to hurry up, but he felt compelled to do so as she passed his cock to continue pressing teasing kisses to this thighs. However, before he could open his mouth to urge her to do something, Charlotte’s lips pressed to the shaft of his cock and he tightened his grip on her hair, barely able to resist the urge to tug as he watched her eyes flutter shut.

“You can pull my hair if you want,” she encouraged him, her voice sending vibrations straight through his shaft and clouding his mind with lust as she glanced up at him from beneath her lashes. “I don’t mind. I actually like it.”

Luke felt as if he would combust, right then and there, as she finally took the head of his cock between her lips. She maintained sporadic eye contact, occasionally looking him dead in the eye as she gave him what had to be the best blowjob he’d ever gotten, and Luke couldn’t stop himself from moaning her name. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d gotten so worked up over a blowjob, couldn’t actually remember the last proper blowjob he’d gotten, but he knew that none of them compared to Charlotte. The feeling of her tongue on him, her lips wrapped around the head, her hand rolling his balls in her palm; it was all so overwhelming that he didn’t hesitate to tug at her hair and use it as tool to control her pace.

Charlotte groaned at the feeling of Luke taking control. She could feel the sting in her scalp as he tugged at her hair, could feel her gag reflex threatening to kick in as he began to fuck her mouth, and she continued to moan around him. Luke could feel the vibrations and he swore that he could cum right there. He felt like a teenager, so close to cumming even though she’d barely started blowing him, but he knew that he had to pull her away or he wouldn’t last long enough to feel her wrapped around him.

Luke let her remain for a moment longer, savoring the feeling of her mouth, before he pulled her off his cock by her hair and swore at the audible groan that left her lips. “Fuck, pretty girl,” he breathed, his cheeks flushed and chest heaving as he fought to catch his breath. “You’re going to be the death of me, you know that?”

Charlotte smiled at him, so innocent and sweet, and Luke felt his cock twitch at the contrast he’d been able to see in her. It was fascinating, seeing all of the varying sides of her, and Luke found himself enamored with her. He wanted to see every side of her that she’d let him and he couldn’t help himself as he pulled her to her feet. He leaned in to capture her lips in another kiss. Neither of them had imagined that a simple kiss could be so magical, could mean so much, but they quickly found it to be a useful tool for communicating as Luke spilled every ounce of desire he had for her into the embrace.

As Charlotte lost herself in the feeling of Luke’s lips on hers, his hands dropped lower. One hand gripped her hip, his blunt nails digging into her skin, as the other dipped between her legs. Her hands moved to his hair, fingers tangling in the curly strands and tugging at them, as he began to brush at her wetness. He slowly eased a finger into her entrance, barely biting back a groan at how tight she felt around him, and worked for a moment before he slipped a second one into her.

Charlotte groaned at the feeling, a slight sting sending a jolt down her spine, but when Luke began to pull his hand away, Charlotte reached down to keep him in place. “I’m fine,” she breathed, her lips pressed to his, “keep going.” In an effort to distract her, Luke moved his thumb to her clit and brushed steady circles over the bundle of nerves as he stretched her open. The experience was less sensual than the first time, less shaky and more desperate to feel one another, and it blew Charlotte’s mind as she realized how many other sides of Luke she had yet to see. She was eager to see it all, to see every side of Luke that he’d let her, and she wanted nothing more than to feel him inside of her after weeks of repressing her desire. She knew that she should let him continue, however, she couldn’t stop herself as she breathed, “Please, Lu, I just want to feel you. I’m ready, I promise.”

Luke, too desperate to feel her, nodded his agreement and removed his fingers from her heat. He pressed one more kiss to her lips, a soft peck of reassurance, before he moved his hands to her hips and began walking her backward toward the bed. She thought about it for a split second, her mind racing with the possibilities, before she placed a hand on his chest and stopped him from nudging her to lie down on her back. “Can I ride you?” she asked, her voice quiet as she lightly raked her nails down his chest.

“Fuck, pretty girl,”Luke breathed, his voice sounding as fucked as he looked as he pulled away from her reached for his discarded pants, “gonna be the death of me. Yeah, fuck, ‘course you can.”

Charlotte thoroughly enjoyed the little moments where she got to see Luke flustered, she enjoyed them even more when she caused them, and to see him so eager made her grin. She watched, her eyes wide, as he climbed onto the bed and settled against the headboard before he ripped open the foil packet and rolled the condom onto his length. She kicked off her heels, thankful for the feeling of freedom after wearing them for so long, before she climbed onto the bed. Luke held out his hand for her to take the moment she knelt on bed and helped her settle into a comfortable position over his thighs before his hands dropped to her hips. He gave her full control, allowing her to move at her own pace, and she was thankful for that as she gripped the base of his cock with one hand and his shoulder with the other. She aligned the head of his cock with her entrance, desperate to feel him, and held her breath as she began to move.

Luke watched, his own breath caught in his throat, as she sank onto him. They both released strangled moans, both gripping at each other with newfound enthusiasm, as she fully seated herself on his cock and Luke was certain that he’d never felt this overwhelmed by sex. He couldn’t remember a time where anything had felt this good and he reveled in it as she remained still to adjust.

“Fuck,” Luke breathed, his hands moving from her hips to brush at her sides, careful to make her feel a little more comfortable. “You feel so good around me, pretty girl,” he breathed, the adoration he felt for her clear in his voice as he looked at her face. “You’re taking me so well.”

Charlotte groaned at Luke’s words, her mind racing as she adjusted to the feeling of him inside her, and carefully began to move. She ground her hips against him, clenching around him at the feeling, and moaned as he bucked into her without meaning to. “I feel so full,” she whimpered, her voice catching in her throat as she dropped her head to his shoulder after an experimental lift of her hips.

Luke focused his hands on her breasts but kept his eyes on her face as she rode him. Her pace was all over the place, uneven as she clearly wasn’t used to being on top, and Luke made a mental note to try this again in the future as he felt her tighten around him. He could feel the shaking of her thighs, could feel the sting of her nails digging into his shoulder, and he breathed quiet encouragements as she did her best to keep a pace. When he felt her clench around him, he glanced down and groaned at the sight of her fingers rubbing quick circles over her clit. He wanted to feel her cum for him, wanted to feel her fall over the edge once more and hear her moan his name, so he nudged her hand out of the way to continue the stimulation himself as he breathed, “Come on, pretty girl. Want to see you cum for me. Can you do that? Can you cum on my cock?”

Charlotte, unused to hearing such words fall from Luke’s lips, whimpered at his words and buried her face in the crook of his neck as she willed her body to do as he asked. She desperately tried to keep her pace but they both settled for more grinding as Luke whispered words of encouragement into her ear. There were words of praise, whispers of how beautiful she looked, and words of filth, whispers of how good she felt around him and how much he wanted to see her cum. With his voice in her ear and his hands on her body, Charlotte came quickly and Luke moved his hand from her waist to pull her face away from his neck so that he could watch her fall over the edge.

He had always thought she was beautiful, had always been fond of her smile and her softness, but he couldn’t think of a prettier sight as he watched her cum. Her eyes fluttered shut, her lashes casting soft shadows on her cheekbones as her nose scrunched slightly. Her mouth dropped open, a moan of his name leaving her lips, and Luke couldn’t help but brush his thumb over her bottom lip as he felt her tighten around him. That, combined with the view, pulled him over the edge with her and he came with a moan of her name.

Charlotte remained on his lap for a moment, his hand still cupping her cheek as her chest heaved and her heart pounded. Luke smiled at her, the post coital glow making her look more beautiful than anyone he’d ever seen, before he carefully helped her off his lap. She kept her distance long enough for him to toss the condom into the bedside trashcan. When he settled back into place, she did just as she’d done weeks ago and curled into his side. Luke wrapped his arms tightly around her, desperate to keep her close. They both lapsed into silence for a moment, both attempting to catch their breath, before Luke breaks the silence.

“I lied, you know,” he mumbled, his voice quiet as he played with the ends of Charlotte’s hair. He felt her stiffen in his embrace, a slight panic overtaking her, and he squeezed her gently as he continued speaking. “About last time being the first time I’d seen you in pajamas,” he clarified quickly. Charlotte relaxed in his hold as his fingers brushed along her heated skin, callouses from years of playing guitar evident as he brushed them over her sides. “The first time I saw you in pajamas was the night before we left for the new year’s trip. You hadn’t been able to sleep and you’d been wandering around, looking at pictures. I told you about the ones you seemed interested in before I invited you into my office.”

“You let me borrow some of your books,” Charlotte mumbled, her voice quiet as she allowed her own fingers to trace the expanse of Luke’s chest. “I fell asleep in one of the chairs and you were going to carry me to Dylan’s room but you tripped over a box and woke me up,” she reminded him with a laugh as she glanced up at him. “I remember.”

Luke smiled at her, his expression soft as he moved one of his hands to her cheek. “I didn’t,” he informed her quietly as his thumb brushed her cheekbone. “I pushed it out of my mind because that was the night that I realized I didn’t just see you as one of Dylan’s friends and that thought scared the hell out of me. You were barely twenty and a sophomore in college. I wasn’t supposed to feel anything like that for you.”

Charlotte studied him for a moment, her eyes searching his for any hint of deceit. When she found none, she sighed softly and asked, “Is that why you left? You were afraid that you felt something for me?”

“Yes,” Luke nodded, his tone clearly expressing his shame as he met her gaze.”If I had stayed, if we had talked about it, it would have made things real. I didn’t know if that was what I wanted but it wasn’t fair of me to be so selfish. I knew how bad it would hurt you,” he admitted, his fingers moving softly as he brushed the dark circle beneath her eye. “I’m sorry, Charlotte. I shouldn’t have left.”

“Why didn’t you reach out?” Charlotte asked, her voice quiet as her fingers stilled on Luke’s skin.

Luke worried that Charlotte would think less of him, that she would hate him for being a coward, but he realized that all she wanted from him was an explanation. She wanted to understand, to know where they stood, and Luke knew that she deserved that. He didn’t want to keep anything from her, not anymore, so he told her the truth. “I know the text was a lousy way of trying,” Luke sighed, his fingers still brushing her skin absentmindedly, “but I didn’t know how. I haven’t done anything like this in a long time, Charlotte. I haven’t had a real relationship since my twenties and-“

Before Luke could finish his statement, Charlotte frowned at him and asked, “Wait, what text?” However, before Luke could answer, Charlotte groaned and clenched her eyes shut. “You texted me. I’m sorry for not answering. My niece chucked my phone into a pool and I got a new one, complete with a new number.”

Luke breathed a sigh of relief, happy that Charlotte hadn’t just been ignoring him, and made a mental note to get her new number before they went their separate ways. He was glad that one of his worries had been quelled, however, after his afternoon discussion with Dylan, he had another worry to address.”Is that why you didn’t speak to Dylan for three weeks?” he asked, his tone gentle and not at all accusatory as he met Charlotte’s gaze once more.

He noticed that she looked embarrassed, her ears pink as she flinched away from his look. She knew that Dylan would tell him, she told him almost everything, but she didn’t think he’d realize it had been because of them. However, she knew that they needed to be honest with one another. If they were going to attempt to make whatever they had work, honesty was necessary. So, Charlotte shrugged.

“It was part of the reason,” Charlotte admitted, her voice quiet as she distracted herself with tracing shapes over Luke’s skin. “I didn’t replace it until last week but I waited so long because I just didn’t want to talk to anyone. I didn’t want to think about us or about what you leaving meant. I didn’t want to think about what it would mean for me and Dylan.” Charlotte paused for a moment, attempting to select her words carefully, before she continued speaking. “It was hard looking at Dylan today. I felt so guilty every time she raved about how good a friend I am or how much she loves me. I feel so bad keeping something like this from her but I know it would hurt her to find out. And, I mean, I didn’t want to tell her anything before I talked to you because what was that, you know? Was it a hookup, was it a mistake, was it the beginning of a relationship? I couldn’t have told her because I didn’t know.”

Luke sighed as he listened to Charlotte spill her thoughts. He had been afraid that this would happen, worried that she would feel this way, and its as the last thing he wanted. He wanted Charlotte to be happy, to be carefree and enjoy her youth, but a selfish part of him wanted to be one of the things that she enjoyed. He wanted this to mean the beginning of a relationship but he knew that they couldn’t tell Dylan, not yet. He had felt guilty at first, too, unable to look his daughter in the eye, but he knew that with time, they would figure out the best plan to tell her.

He and Charlotte just needed to solidify what they were before they did.

“I want this to mean something,” Luke told Charlotte, his voice matching hers in tone as he encouraged her to look at him again. “I want this to be the beginning of a relationship. I know that things will be hard, for both of us, but we’ll be in this together. I felt guilty at first, too, but Dylan would want us to be happy.” Luke hesitated for a moment, his mind racing, before he confirmed, “I want to give this a shot if you’re interested. We can take it slow, figure things out as we go along, but I really would like for us to try.”

“Do you really think Dylan could be okay with us being together?” Charlotte asked, her voice quiet as she kept her eyes on Luke’s. “Do you really think she’d understand if we dated and fell in love?”

Luke wasn’t sure. Dylan had never been overly invested in his personal life. She had never cared one way or another who he dated but she had expressed her hope that he would find love someday. Luke knew that Dylan hadn’t imagined it would be with her best friend, someone only a few months older than her, however, Luke liked to think that Dylan would be able to live with it. So, he nodded. “I think she would,” he confirmed, his voice quiet as he smiled softly at Charlotte. “I think it would take time for her to understand,” Luke pointed out, “but I think she would be able to understand.”

Charlotte, still uncertain, nodded slowly as she fell into her own head again. She felt better, able to breathe comfortably for the first time in weeks, however, she still felt a nagging feeling of anxiety in the pit of her stomach. She hoped that Luke was right, that Dylan would understand, but she was worried about the fall out if she didn’t. Charlotte didn’t want lose her best friend and she didn’t want to come in between Luke and Dylan’s relationship. However, she felt over the moon that Luke was interested in her in the way that she was interested in him. He wanted her, really and truly, and it made her heart race as she thought about their future together.

Luke watched, his eyes soft, as Charlotte fell into her thoughts. She bit her bottom lip, already swollen from the kisses they’d shared, and stared ahead without really seeing. He let her be for a moment, simply watching, before he leaned in and pressed a kiss to her neck. “What’re you thinking about, pretty girl? What’s on your mind?”

“I’m really happy to be back in your arms,” Charlotte admitted, her voice a whisper as she stared at the gleaming silver chain around Luke’s neck. She reached out, her fingers gentle as she toyed with it, before she continued, “but I’ve been so all over the place for the last few weeks that, honestly, I’m not really sure what I’m thinking anymore. I tried so hard not to feel anything because feeling everything was so overwhelming. I’m just tired now, I think.”

Luke gave Charlotte a moment to breathe, allowed her a moment to gather her thoughts, and rubbed her sides soothingly as she continued speaking. “I feel elated that you want me. I’m so glad that you want this to be something other than a one night stand but there’s also those nerves in the back of my mind that this is just some sort of midlife crisis, you know? Or that this is for fun. I don’t know if I could handle being a joke, this not being real, and it helps to know that you feel something for me but it’s really hard to turn off those negative thoughts. I just want us to be together and to be happy. But, you’re right. It’s going to be hard. Being together is going to be really difficult but I don’t care because I want you. I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anyone and I’m willing to do what I have to.”

Luke knew that Charlotte had more to say but he couldn’t help himself as he cupped her cheek and turned her head to face him. He searched her eyes for a moment, the hazel clouded with emotion as she let herself be vulnerable, and he shook his head. “This isn’t a game to me,” he assured her, his voice strong and steady as he kept his eyes on hers. “I’m not having a midlife crisis. This is just as overwhelming for me as it is for you. I haven’t loved anyone romantically in a very long time. You’re so young. You could do so much better, pretty girl. You have the rest of your life ahead of you while my best years are behind me. I’ve thought about this, about us, but every time I did, I told myself that it was wrong and that I shouldn’t want you. I’ve seen you grow from timid eighteen year old to a strong, independent, adult and I’m so proud of you.”

Luke paused for a moment, his heart racing in his chest as he stared at her. “The more I got to know you, the more time I spent with you, the harder it became for me to ignore what I felt for you. I tried to repress it and I should’ve dealt with these feelings before we slept together. I’m sorry that I made you doubt yourself so much, Charlotte. You deserve the best. I want this to be more than sex,” Luke assured her, swallowing thickly as he watched her eyes light. “I’m sorry that I made you doubt yourself. All I want is to make you happy.”

Luke frowned as tears lined Charlotte’s lashes, however, before he had the chance to reach out and brush them away, Charlotte shook her head. “Good tears,” she informed him, a small smile on her lips. “I’m really relieved to hear you say all that. I’m just still so worried about D.”

“I know,” Luke nodded, a heavy sigh leaving his lips as he leaned back against the headboard and pulled Charlotte into his side. “We can do our best to make this work. We know that it’ll be hard. Dylan is my baby. I love her more than anything and I know that this won’t be easy for her. But I know that it won’t be easy on you, either,” Luke sighed as he glanced over at her. “We’re going to have to learn how to make this work and it’s going to take a lot of effort.”

Charlotte remained silent for a moment as she let Luke’s words sink in. She knew that it would be hard, but she wanted this. She wanted him. “I’m terrified,” Charlotte breathed, her voice breaking as she curled into Luke’s side and reached for the duvet to pull it higher. “I’m afraid of what will happen when she finds out. But I want to explore what we are without anyone knowing for a bit. Just to make sure there’s something really there,” she confided, her heart racing in her chest as she spoke her truest thoughts aloud. “But the thought of losing Dylan makes me so nauseous. She’s helped me through some of the hardest moments of my life. She’s my constant, my confidant, my person. I love her so much and I don’t want to lose her.”

Luke felt his heart simultaneously swell and crack as he listened to Charlotte speak. He understood that keeping Dylan likely meant losing their relationship before it even began. However, he also understood that keeping your relationship likely meant both of you losing Dylan and that was the worst kind of heartbreak he could imagine. He didn’t want Charlotte to have to choose. He didn’t want to have to choose himself. Dylan was his little girl, yes, but Charlotte was his chance at finding love. He had longed for someone like her for decades and now that he had her, he didn’t want to give it up.

And when she whispered, “I don’t want to lose either of you. You both mean too much to me for me to let you go,” Luke decided that there had to be a third option. There had to be a way for them both to remain in one another’s lives while simultaneously keeping Dylan. There had to be a way for them to all live happily, and Luke was determined to find it.

As Charlotte began to drift into an uneasy sleep, her eyes heavy and her breathing slowing, Luke decided that he was going to do whatever it took to make sure that neither he nor Charlotte had to choose. He wanted her, he wanted to explore their relationship and make one another happy, and he wanted to keep his daughter in both of their lives. He knew that it was going to be hard but when had love ever been easy.

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Author’s Note: Guess who’s back, back again. BFDLu and Lottie are back, tell a friend. Seriously. Tell your friends. Reblog this. Read this. I love them, please don’t let this fic flop, thanks. My eyes hurt, I’m going to go eat something because I started writing at noon and haven’t stopped in eight hours. BYE.

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morningfears · 5 years

Text

Morning Fears [Chapter Two]

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Charlotte Harper met Dylan Hemmings her freshman year of college when the two girls were randomly assigned to be roommates. With Dylan came her father, Luke. Charlotte never expected Dylan to become her best friend and she certainly never expected her small crush on Luke to become anything more. But when Dylan left her alone at their graduation party and Luke offered to take Charlotte home, their lives changed. | This is an AU in which Luke is a single father (aged 40/41) and Charlotte is a recent college graduate (22).

Word Count: 9.2k

A/N: Even if you’ve read Morning Light, this is completely different! This is a brand new chapter so please read!

CHAPTER ONE | CHAPTER THREE

Charlotte had never been one to sleep in.

On days that she had to work, she always set an alarm for five to ensure that she had time to lie in bed and stare at her ceiling, mustering the willpower to get out of bed and face the day. She was out of bed by five-thirty, brushing her teeth and climbing out of the shower by six. She always left her clothes for the next day hanging on her closet door, ready for her to grab the moment she finished her makeup, and she made sure to be dressed and made up by eight. Breakfast was always a pressed juice that every single one of her friends made fun of her for and she sipped it at her desk after arriving at the office thirty minutes before everyone else.

On days that she didn’t work, she set an alarm for nine but was awake by seven-thirty, anyway. She spent a little longer lounging in bed, wouldn’t roll out from between her sheets until eight-thirty, but she never fell back asleep after her initial awakening. She would do yoga, shove the coffee table in her living room to the side and spend an hour sweating and mentally telling herself that she should just run instead, before she showered and spent the rest of her day working on homework or, if the day permitted, binging something she’d already watched a million times before.

Regardless, Charlotte had a routine.

She always woke up alone, always woke up early, and often had at least thirty minutes of lounging until any residual anxiety from the night before or about the upcoming days hit her. She often had a few minutes of peace until the reality of life set in and she valued those moments more than anything.

However, the feeling of Luke’s fingers brushing her bare shoulders, his skin warm against hers, pulled her from her restless sleep. She realized, instantly, that she was not alone in her bed and she could tell by the light filtering into her bedroom that it was far past time for her to be awake. The anxiety that she had felt before falling into a light, fitful sleep, returned full force and almost knocked the breath from her lungs as Luke brushed errant strands of her hair from the nape of her neck.

She remained still for a moment, careful not to alert Luke to her consciousness, before she released a deep breath and turned her head to face him. Luke had a soft smile on his lips, an unfamiliar warmth to his eyes, and the sight of him bathed in the golden morning light made her breath catch in her throat as she stared at him. He was propped on an elbow, golden curls mussed from sleep, and he looked so beautiful that Charlotte couldn’t quite help the feeling of awe that settled over her. The morning light looked as if it was made for him, soft and warm and perfect, and the thought of this ever happening again forced a shaky breath from Charlotte’s lungs.

“Good morning,” Luke whispered as his hand moved from the nape of her neck to her cheek, his thumb gently brushing her cheekbone, “how’d you sleep?”

Charlotte knew that she should be honest with him. She knew that she should tell him that her thoughts had run away with her and that she hadn’t slept at all. She knew that she should tell him that guilt had swirled in the pit of her stomach all night, gnawing at her and leaving her on the verge of a panic attack, but she didn’t. Instead, she decided to paint a pretty picture and tell him how she wished she’d slept.

In keeping with the morning, Charlotte whispered, “I’ve never been able to share a bed. It’s always put me on edge to have someone next to me. I’ve always been afraid of waking them up or them waking me up or invading their space, I guess. But it felt different with you. I’m not overly anxious to get you out of my bed.”

That much was true. Luke’s presence beside her in bed felt comfortable. It felt like he belonged in the empty space on the left side of her bed. Though her night had been filled with anxiety and dread, discomfort and guilt, the soft snores that Luke released had been reassuring rather than annoying. The weight of his arm draped over her side felt grounding rather than suffocating. His presence had been felt but that wasn’t a source of her anxiety.

She hadn’t spent the night completely rigid, terrified of even breathing lest she wake him. She had remained acutely aware of his presence but she hadn’t minded it at all. Having him sleeping beside her had felt natural and that thought scared the hell out of her. It flooded her mind with images of waking up next to Luke morning after morning, of her bed becoming theirs, and it made her want the night to be real. It made her want the night to mean more but, after spending the night contemplating every possible outcome, she wasn’t so sure that that was much of a possibility.

Luke smiled at her, the same smile he’d given her the first time she’d laughed at one of his jokes, and she wanted to melt into the covers as he beamed at her. “I’m honored that you don’t want to kick me out of your bed,” he teased, his tone light, though she could see the hesitance in his eyes. He paused for a moment, the uncertainty clear on his face in the golden morning light, before he breathed, “I haven’t spent the night with anyone in a long time. I wasn’t sure how it would feel.” Luke hesitated, his lips barely parted and his hand stilling on her cheek, before he added, “It felt comfortable, being with you."

The hope that blossomed in Charlotte’s chest frightened her. She wanted nothing more than to tell him that she’d gladly let him spend every night with her, that the left side of her bed was his as long as he wanted it, but she didn’t. She bit her tongue, despite her overwhelming desire to love him and be loved in return, because she was afraid.

She was afraid that he didn’t mean that in the way she so desperately wanted him to. She was afraid that he was playing into her fantasies, giving her what she wanted because he felt sorry for her. She was afraid that he was using her, taking whatever she would give him in hopes of relieving his boredom or satisfying some midlife crisis. She was afraid that he’d wake up one day, realizing that she was only twenty-two and that he could do better than some recent college graduate with no life experience who still has to call her mother for advice on how to live like an adult.

More than anything, though, she was afraid that Dylan would find out.

Realistically, Charlotte knew that Dylan ending their friendship would turn her world upside down. Despite her initial fear that she and Dylan wouldn’t get along, the pair of them became closer than either imagined. Dylan was Charlotte’s constant, her person, her confidant; losing her would mean the end of her stability and possibly her sanity. She didn’t know what she would do without Dylan in her life and knowing that pursuing Luke would mean jeopardizing that friendship stopped Charlotte in her tracks.

What was worse, though, was the idea that pursuing a relationship with Luke could ruin Luke and Dylan’s relationship.

Charlotte had always admired Luke and Dylan’s relationship. She had never gotten on well with her own father, had never really gotten on with her family at all, so to see Luke and Dylan get along so well always made her happy. They genuinely loved one another, were happy to spend time together, and wanted to be a part of one another’s lives. Charlotte didn’t want to be the reason that their relationship took a hit.

Charlotte had always been easily overwhelmed, had always allowed her feelings to get the better of her even when they shouldn’t, but she’d always been good at hiding her anxiety behind an easy smile. She didn’t want to let Luke know what was going on in her head, didn’t want him to know just how much of a mess their night had made of her mind, so she painted on a smile and hoped that he couldn’t read her as she hummed her agreement.

However, Luke had managed to learn a good deal about Charlotte in the time that he’d known her. He had managed to learn the quirks and the ticks, the little gestures that were worth more than a thousand words. He had learned to read her like a book and he could pinpoint the moment that her real smile, a soft curve of her lips, melted into a fake one. He wanted to tug her closer, brush his fingers over her bare back in a way that he hoped would be soothing, and ask her to tell him what she was thinking. He wanted to know, wanted to help, but they’d both already shared too much.

Just by the situation they were in, Luke could guess what was going on in her mind. He could guess that her mind was racing with thoughts of him, of Dylan, of the future. He could guess that because for him, it was very much the same.

While he hadn’t been one to overthink in decades, the entire experience had his mind racing with what-ifs and thoughts of the future. He wondered what would happen if Dylan found out. He wondered if anything more could come of this or if it was stupid of him to even want that. He wondered if Charlotte regretted the night.

A pang of guilt settled in the pit of his stomach as Luke decided to let Charlotte think she’d tricked him. He realized that they were both already in far too deep and spilling more emotions would make whatever they shared real. Being vulnerable would ground the situation in reality and Luke wasn’t sure if either of them really wanted that.

So, instead of telling Charlotte that he could see the worry in her eyes, he let her think that her smile looked real and that he couldn’t see the tears lining her lashes. He decided that it would be easier that way, letting her hide behind a false pillar of strength, but what he couldn’t decide if that was easier for her or for him.

The pair of them fell silent for a long moment, both simply staring at one another in the silence of Charlotte’s bedroom, and attempted to commit the moment to memory. Neither of them knew if this would happen again, neither knew if they even truly wanted this to happen again, so they reveled in the moment before Luke reluctantly glanced away from Charlotte’s face and over at the alarm clock on her nightstand.

When he noticed that the time was nearing nine, he frowned and returned his gaze to her face. “As comfortable as your bed is and as much as I’d love to lie here with you all day,” he began quietly, his voice a barely there whisper in the comfort of Charlotte’s room and his heart sinking as he realized that their relationship was likely over before it could even begin, “you should get on the road before your parents start to worry. I know your mom likes for you to leave as early as you can.” Luke decided to give her an out, a way to get rid of him without actually having to kick him out herself, but, again, he wasn’t sure if it was more for her sake or his. “I need to make a dent in that mountain of paperwork you so kindly reminded me of last night.”

Charlotte felt a bitter pang of disappointment burn the back of her throat as the small part of her that wanted Luke to comfort her, to tell her that everything would be alright and to help her navigate what she was feeling, felt that he was brushing her off. The rational portion of her brain, however, told her that he was right. She still needed to finish packing and she knew that her phone would be buzzing with texts and calls from her mother sooner rather than later. She also knew that he really did have work to finish and, even though he didn’t mention it, she knew that he had brunch with Dylan and Alex planned for later in the morning.

So, she swallowed the lump in her throat that felt like rejection and nodded. “You should get started on that mountain before it takes over your office,” she agreed half-heartedly as she gently untangled herself from Luke’s grip and sat up. She gathered the sheet and covered her bare chest as she glanced over at her cell phone. “I’m sure my mom’s already called a few times to ask me where I am, anyway.”

Luke nodded in understanding as he slipped out of her bed. She tried not to look at him as he searched for his underwear, tried not to sigh at the sight of his thighs, but she found herself sneaking glances at him as she sat in the middle of her bed. She remained covered only by the sheet as Luke tugged on his clothes from the night before and, when he turned back to face her, Charlotte was reminded of exactly why she’d wanted to bring him home.

She’d always found Luke so beautiful, kind and warm and beyond anything she’d ever dreamt of, and seeing him standing in the golden morning light made her heart beat that much faster. And when Luke caught sight of her, effortlessly beautiful with messy hair and sleepy eyes, he wanted nothing more than to strip back down and climb back into bed with her to waste the day. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, hold her tight, and keep them both in a bubble of happiness for as long as he was allowed. However, he knew that he couldn’t. He knew that if he stayed, it was over. He’d be more fucked for her than he already was and he felt guilty enough knowing that he had just slept with his daughter’s best friend.

He didn’t know how much more he could handle.

So, instead of returning to bed and coddling her, instead of making her happy and showing her the love that she deserved, he pressed a kiss to her forehead and told her to have a safe trip. He reminded her to let Dylan know when she made it, just to be safe, and was out the door before either of them could change their minds.

The lump in Charlotte’s throat that had felt like rejection before was joined by the burn of humiliation as she chastised herself for thinking that he could ever want anything more. She felt stupid, wondering how she’d let herself fall into the fantasy and feel so much so quickly. She hated thinking that he was going to stay with her, that life was a fairy tale and that things were going to work out, but she refused to let herself cry.

Though she knew that she’d missed multiple calls from her mother and that she needed to get on the road as soon as she could, she stared blankly at her bedroom door for far too long. She felt defeated, kicked and broken, as she realized that there was never a chance that this would have worked. Rationally, she understood that she had been stupidly optimistic, naive, and hopelessly romantic but that didn’t dull the ache in her chest.

She wanted to be happy with Luke more than anything and to have a taste of it, only for it to be ripped away, felt like a cruel trick of fate. However, as she gripped at the duvet and bit back tears, she realized that she had brought it upon herself. She had jumped in headfirst, not really caring about the repercussions. She had given in to her base desires, had chosen to enjoy a night of indulging her fantasy instead of thinking rationally, but as she stared up at her ceiling she realized that the ache in her chest could’ve been avoided had she just taken a moment.

She had always been so careful, so eager to keep herself together and to think through every decision no matter how painful the process was or how crazy it drove her. The one time she abandoned that, the one time she decided to live impulsively, she felt her world crash around her and the weight of her decision settle on her chest like a stack of bricks.

The one thing she should’ve carefully considered, the one thing she should’ve weighed again and again, is the one that she chose to leap into blindly and Charlotte released a huff of frustration as she felt her hands begin to shake. Thinking about it wouldn’t do her any good, worrying about it would only leave her in tears, and she had an entire drive home to drive herself insane. So she wallowed for a moment, let herself be dramatic, before she threw back her covers, staggered out of bed, and blindly grabbed a pair of shorts and a t-shirt from her dresser to change into after her shower.

She spent far longer in the shower than she planned, staring at the wall and willing herself not to think about anything other than the route she planned to take home, and didn’t notice when the water turned frigid. The stinging droplets made no difference to her, she really didn’t care about how any of it felt, and only shut off the water when the chattering of her teeth snapped her back to reality. Although her apartment was already warm, the air having been turned up so it wouldn’t waste electricity while she was gone, goosebumps covered her arms as she dried off automatically.

Her cell phone screen showed four missed calls from her mother, three text messages (all with some variation of, “Text me when you leave, Charlotte,”), and a Snapchat message from Dylan. She ignored the calls, ignored the Snap, and only sent a quick, “Leaving now,” to appease her mother as she shoved her feet into a pair of beat-up Vans and grabbed her cell-phone charger from her nightstand. The things that she hadn’t packed, she knew that she could just buy or steal from her sister. She didn’t worry about packing her makeup bag or anything nicer than a pair of jeans without holes in them. Instead, she picked up the bag she’d hastily packed the day before and shut off all the lights in her apartment before she descended the stairs and settled into her car for the nearly four-hour journey home.

Across town, Luke had managed to make it back to his home in nearly record time. He’d texted Dylan at a red light, let her know that he’d be a little late to brunch, and hadn’t even looked at her reply. If he had, he would’ve realized that she would be waiting for him in his living room with Alex in tow and he could’ve at least pulled on a jacket to pretend that he hadn’t spent the night elsewhere. However, he had other things on his mind and he hadn’t even noticed Alex’s car.

His mind was clouded with thoughts of the night and a bitter pang of regret filled his stomach as he realized that he shouldn’t have left things like that. He knew Charlotte well enough to know that she would worry herself sick over what happened. He knew her well enough to know that the night would haunt her until they talked about it. He knew that leaving was a cowardly thing to do but he wasn’t sure what to tell her.

He had never had any doubts about how Charlotte felt about him. He had known about her feelings for him since the moment the pair of them met. The bush that tinted her cheeks whenever he was around, the nervous giggles and shy smiles; it had been cute at the time. But as she spent more time with him, as she became a bigger part of Dylan’s life and, by association, his life, the feelings grew to be more than a schoolgirl crush and Luke knew that, too.

A part of him regrets not gently letting her down early on. However, he’d enjoyed the attention. It was cute and his relationships never really seemed to work the way he wanted so to have someone think so highly of him made him feel desired. To have someone so interested in him as a person, not for his money or his looks (though he was well aware of just how attractive Charlotte found him), was a rarity and Luke reveled in it. He began to play into her fantasy, to tease and encourage, and it had been fun.

While it had been fun, though, things had gotten complicated somewhere along the line.

Luke didn’t know how he felt about Charlotte. He liked her. He wanted to see her happy. But could he love her?

If he was being honest with himself, he didn’t know if he could.

His love life had been complicated since his late teens. He spent years loving someone who he wasn’t sure ever really loved him back and he never really wanted to open his heart to that kind of pain again. After Anna, Dylan’s mother, left him, he hadn’t let anyone else in. His relationships had been short, brief flings with women who kept him occupied but never stirred many emotions, and it drained him.

He wanted to settle down, wanted to open his heart again, but could he do that with Charlotte?

He spent the drive thinking about her.

Luke had felt things for Charlotte that he hadn’t felt for anyone in decades. He felt alive with her, like he could breathe, and it scared the living daylights out of him. He never wanted anyone to have that kind of power over him and putting that power in the hands of a twenty-two year old, his daughter’s best friend, seemed insane. He’d always heard stories of meeting someone and just knowing, knowing that they would have an impact on your life whether you wanted them to or not, and he questioned why it had to be her.

He knew that being with her would be hard. Dylan wouldn’t like it, Charlotte’s family would hate it, his family would hate it, his friends would wonder if he was having a midlife crisis. Their relationship would be difficult because their lives had been so different. There was really nothing about them that could even be sort of easy.

But being with her, spending the night together, made him feel that if he let go and gave himself to her wholly, maybe he could love her.

Love is never easy.

Luke’s mind continued to race as he stepped into his home. He didn’t hear the low hum of the television, didn’t hear the quiet conversation Alex and Dylan had been having, but he did hear Dylan’s exclamation of, “Dad! Is that your outfit from last night?”

“Don’t shame your dad,” Alex laughed as Luke’s head snapped up and he glanced at the couple on his couch. “He’s an adult. He can sleep with whoever he wants.”

Dylan stared blankly at him for a moment, her mouth slightly parted, before she wrinkled her nose and shoved his shoulder. “Gross,” she huffed. “I was thinking he went to his office and worked all night. Get your mind out of the gutter.”

“Oh, come on, D,” Alex laughed as he tugged his fiancé closer and shook his head. “That lady at the bar was all over him. And that’s definitely sex hair,” he pointed out before he turned to Luke. “We don’t have to be at the restaurant until eleven so we’re cool with hanging out here while you shower and stuff. Unless you want us to leave. Then we can go ahead and just meet you there.”

Luke heard Dylan mumble something about not wanting to know anything about his sex life and, while he would usually banter with Alex, he wholeheartedly seconded Dylan’s statement. The pair of them had always been close, he’d always shared whenever she asked, but now that Charlotte was involved, he thought it best to change the subject entirely.

“I won’t be long,” he assured them both, barely able to look at Dylan without feeling a pang of guilt bubbling in the pit of his stomach, “you can wait down here. I’ll drive.”

Luke heard them both mumble their agreement, Alex declaring that he wanted bacon more than anything, and he turned to climb the stairs to his bedroom before Dylan stopped him in his tracks. “Dad,” she called, her voice loud in the quiet of the house, “did Charlotte seem upset last night? I totally forgot that we were supposed to give her a ride home and I’ve bailed on her a few times lately and I feel awful. She hasn’t Snapped me back or told me she’s leaving for home and I feel like she’s mad at me.”

Luke blinked, surprised that Charlotte hadn’t returned Dylan’s messages, and shook his head. “She seemed fine. Annoyed with her parents but not at you. She’s probably just stressed about going home. Give her time,” he encouraged, forcing his voice to remain steady as he realized that Charlotte was probably ignoring Dylan’s messages because of him.

Dylan huffed a deep sigh before she hummed her agreement. “Yeah,” she mumbled, returning her head to Alex’s shoulder as she turned to face the television. “You’re probably right. She was super bummed about her parents leaving early. And she’s kind of upset because they made such a big deal out of her keeping perfect grades and stuff and no one has really made a big deal out of her graduating with those perfect grades. Like, they just kind of brushed it under the rug. I know they’re her parents but they kind of suck.” Dylan paused for a moment, her face clouded with a mixture of emotion, before she added, “I know this is kind of a shitty takeaway but I really appreciate you, dad. I love you.”

Luke closed his eyes and released a quiet, shaky breath before he returned Dylan’s words with an, “I love you, too, sweetheart,” of his own. Though he didn’t think he could feel any lower, he ascended the stairs before Dylan could continue speaking. He didn’t want to hear her praise or her love, he didn’t feel like he deserved them in that moment, and he knew that he might break if she were to share anymore.

As he showered, he contemplated reaching out to Charlotte. He wondered if he should ask her to meet with him, if he should ask her to give him a call when she got back into town, but he ultimately decided that whatever happened should happen on her terms. If she wanted to talk things out, he would. If she wanted him to leave her alone, he would. He wanted her to be the one in control of their situation no matter how he felt because, ultimately, he had begun to realize that he would do whatever she asked of him and that thought alone shook him to his core.

Downstairs, Dylan and Alex sat on the couch as they waited for Luke to shower and change. Alex noticed Dylan staring at her cellphone and carefully plucked the device from between her fingers. “Relax, D,” he mumbled as he pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. “Lottie’ll text you back when she can. She probably got an early start this morning and didn’t want to wake you with a text. She’s not pissed at you. You guys have been through so much that it’ll take more than you forgetting a few things to fuck up your friendship.”

“I know,” Dylan whined as she buried her head against Alex’s shoulder. “I just feel like something’s wrong. She’s never just not texted me or replied to my Snaps. She should be complaining about her family by now. And dad is being weird, too! He wouldn’t even look at me this morning. Everyone is being weird and I don’t like it.”

“Your dad was embarrassed that you caught him in a walk of shame,” Alex laughed as he shook his head. “That’s not weird, D. That’s pretty normal. And Lottie’s always in her head but going home fucks with her a little more than usual. Give her time and then reach out again. It’ll all be fine, okay? She knows you love her.”

Though Charlotte did, in fact, know that Dylan loved her, she couldn’t help but think that she wouldn’t want anything to do with her if she found out about the night she spent with Luke. She knew that she had betrayed Dylan’s trust, knew that things would never be the same even if she and Luke could somehow pretend that the night had never happened, and the harder she thought about it, the more anxious she became.

As Charlotte drove to her parent’s house, her mind barely on the journey at all as she navigated the familiar streets almost on auto-pilot, she could feel herself beginning to panic. The tears that had threatened to fall following Luke’s departure from her apartment were quickly returning and she decided that she needed a moment to breathe. She knew that she was overreacting, knew that she was letting her thoughts get the better of her and that she needed to snap out of it, but she couldn’t help herself. As she stopped at a red light, she re-routed her GPS to the nearest gas station and pulled off to the side to just breathe.

She sat in her car, a song that she couldn’t recall the name of even if she tried drowned out by her sobs, and mentally chided herself for being so dramatic. She knew that this was counterproductive, knew that she had brought this upon herself by choosing to sleep with Luke, but she couldn’t help it. Her feelings were all over the place, her heart felt shattered, and she wanted nothing more than to curl up beneath a heavy blanket and nap until she felt nothing.

Instead, she sat alone in her car with tears tracking down her cheeks and strangers giving her sideways glances from the safety of their own vehicles as they passed her by. She was on the way to her parents’ house to spend a week, miserable and longing to be anywhere but there, and the thought of having to brave her family made her cry that much harder.

Charlotte let herself sob for a long moment, let herself feel the burn as her lungs couldn’t seem to get enough air, before the vibrating of her cellphone snapped her back to reality. She spotted Dylan’s name on the screen, a plea for Charlotte to let her know when she made it home safely covered the lock screen photo of the two of them, and Charlotte quickly placed the device on ‘Do Not Disturb’ without thinking.

She didn’t want to face Dylan, not now, and she certainly didn’t want to face her parents. However, out of the two, she supposed that at least her parents wouldn’t try to ask what was wrong with her.

She fumbled in the center console, searching for a packet of tissues, and wiped her face. She abandoned all hope of looking normal, her eyes were far too red and swollen for her to come back from, so she slipped a pair of sunglasses over her them and grabbed her wallet. She left her cellphone in the console, facedown and on silent, and loaded her hands with junk food. She didn’t return the cashier’s greet and felt so guilty for having taken her mood out on him that she almost went back inside and bid the girl a nice day. However, she didn’t want to dwell and the sooner she got back on the road, the sooner she could get home and pretend that her life outside of her family didn’t exist.

In Los Angeles, Dylan stared at her cell phone and frowned at the lack of response she got from Charlotte. It wasn’t like Charlotte to ignore messages, not from her, especially when she was headed home to spend a week with her family. Dylan knew that she was overreacting, she never worried like this, but the guilt from standing Charlotte up and being an absentee friend made her worry a little more than usual.

“Are you sure Lottie was okay last night?” Dylan asked Luke as she, him, and Alex sat on the patio of a restaurant they frequented.

“Dylan, Lottie is fine,” Alex stressed as he breathed a heavy sigh and shook his head. “She’s probably driving or maybe she’s home already and her mom has her running errands. Or, even if she is ignoring you, she’ll get over it in a few days. Send her a cookie or some flowers or something when she gets back to the city. You guys have survived worse, babe. It’ll be fine.”

When Dylan looked at him, Luke did his best to look her in the eye and nod his agreement. “Alex is right, sweetheart,” he agreed quietly. “Whatever it is, it’ll be fine. Just give her some time. You guys are going to a cake tasting today, right? Any ideas on the flavors yet?”

Luke knew it was a cheap trick, knew that he should assure Dylan and maybe check on Charlotte himself, but he couldn’t bring himself to pick up his phone. Even though he had her number, he knew he was the last person she wanted to hear from. He saw the look of disappointment on her face when he’d left. He knew that she’d wanted more, that his leaving had hurt her, and he didn’t want to be an asshole and send her a text. He honestly didn’t even know what he could send that wouldn’t be considered dick-ish.

‘Hey, my daughter is freaking out that you’re mad at her when I know you’re worried that she’ll be mad at you. Mind texting her back so she’ll calm down? Thanks.’

He cringed thinking about it and attempted to look like he was listening to Alex explain his idea for his groom’s cake while Dylan rolled her eyes at the more outlandish plans. He needed to get himself together, to pretend that everything was fine just so he could look Dylan in the eye, but every time she expressed her worry for Charlotte, his heart sank a little more and the guilt threatened to swallow him whole.

Luke was pleased with himself when he managed to keep Dylan off the subject of Charlotte for the entirety of their brunch. He was pleased when she and Alex left without another mention of Charlotte’s name. However, when he climbed into his car and stared at his own cellphone, he could still feel the guilt swirling in the pit of his stomach. He knew that he needed to talk to someone, anyone, so he made the decision to give Ashton, the only friend he knew wouldn’t bullshit him, a call.

“Are you busy today?” Luke asked Ashton before his friend could even get a greeting out.

“No,” Ashton assured him as he dropped his pen and pushed away from his desk. He had been in his office, determined to finish the last of a torturous amount of paperwork, but as he listened to Luke heave a heavy breath, he knew that work could wait. He could hear the tone of Luke’s voice, realized that something was wrong, and knew exactly why he was calling. “You want to talk now or meet for a drink?”

“It’s noon, Ash,” Luke reminded him as he leaned his head against the headrest and stared at the roof of his car. He was quiet for a moment, his eyes fixated on a single spot, before he mumbled, “That taproom we went to a few weeks ago should be open.”

“I’ll meet you there.”

Luke had always appreciated his friendship with Ashton. Though the pair were only a few years apart in age, Ashton had always been something of an older brother since meeting him in college. It was true that Luke had a brother of his own, a biological brother who he loved wholeheartedly, but Ashton had become just as much a part of his family and Luke knew that he could count on him whenever he needed guidance. He knew that Ashton would be kind, that he wouldn’t ridicule him or make him feel worse about himself, but he also knew that Ashton would tell him the truth.

There was no one that Luke trusted more for advice.

True to his word, Ashton was waiting by the door when Luke arrived. Luke could tell by his clothes that he’d come from his office and he felt guilty for pulling him away from work. The last thing he wanted to do was disrupt anyone’s day but he knew that Ashton wouldn’t be too angry at him, not for that, anyway.

Neither of them mentioned Luke’s call as they entered the taproom and ordered their drinks. Ashton glanced at Luke out of the corner of his eye, his worry getting the better of him, as the pair of them stood at the bar. Luke looked like he hadn’t really slept (he hadn’t, Ashton would soon find out) and he looked more contemplative than Ashton had seen him in a long while. He didn’t know what had brought this on but, if he was honest with himself, he wasn’t sure he wanted to find out.

It wasn’t like Luke to get so worked up so Ashton knew it had to be bad to have him in this state.

“So, you want to talk or do you want to drink first?” Ashton asked as they took a seat at a table on the empty patio.

Ashton had offered to sit at the bar, had even gestured to a booth that the pair of them sat in with Michael and Calum not even two weeks ago, but Luke hadn’t wanted anyone to overhear them. So, they sat under a too-big patio umbrella and Ashton watched as Luke stared down at his beer.

Ashton knew better than to push. He knew that Luke would speak when ready so he took a sip of his beer and glanced around the outdoor space. Though it was only May, summer felt like it was already in full bloom and he knew they were in for a long one. The flowers looked to be in desperate need of water and his beer was getting warm much quicker than it usually did. He had been contemplating doing yoga outdoors, his fiancé really enjoyed that, but he figured it would be too warm for either of them to be outside.

“I fucked up.”

Luke’s voice broke Ashton from his thoughts and he blinked, surprised at Luke’s choice of words, before he frowned and tilted his head. “How did you fuck up?”

Luke hesitated for a moment, his eyes still glued to his beer, before he sighed and mumbled, “I slept with Charlotte.”

Ashton paused. He knew that Luke had been hesitant about sleeping with someone he wasn’t committed to but he didn’t realize why Luke was so upset over sleeping with someone. It was normal, he was no longer the twenty-something who had a young child to care for. And Ashton almost told him as much but stopped in his tracks when the realization of why that name sounded so familiar hit him.

“…Charlotte? Luke, do you mean the Charlotte that I think you mean?”

“Yeah,” Luke sighed before he took a gulp of his beer and shook his head. “Twenty-two year old, recent college graduate, my daughter’s best friend. That Charlotte.”

Ashton blinked at Luke’s admission and could understand exactly why Luke felt that he had fucked up. It was rare to render Ashton speechless but Luke’s admission had done just that. Ashton wasn’t sure what to say, he wasn’t sure what he could say, so he he nodded as a gesture for Luke to continue speaking.

“Dylan left her at the party last night. I drove her home. She invited me in and I should’ve said no but I didn’t. I should’ve stopped it before things went that far but I didn’t. I stayed the night and I left without even talking to her about it. I mean, I said goodbye but we didn’t talk about what happened last night. She looked so fucking heartbroken when I left, Ash. And she’s not answering Dylan’s messages.” Luke paused for a moment, took another sip of his beer, before he added, “Dylan was at my place this morning when I got home and she knows I spent the night with someone last night.”

“Jesus, Luke,” Ashton finally breathed, his voice quiet as he shook his head. “Okay. You slept with Charlotte, you left her, and now she’s avoiding Dylan?” When Luke nodded, Ashton reached for his beer. “Okay, you fucked up.” When Luke fixed him with an unimpressed stare, Ashton shook his head. “No, you don’t get to be annoyed with me. You slept with someone the same age as your child, someone who is friends with your child, and did you even think about it before you did it?” Luke slumped in his chair and Ashton took that as a negative answer.

“What is your plan here? Are you just going to hope that Dylan never finds out? Are you just going to let Charlotte worry herself sick over this? Are you going to pretend that nothing happened and pretend that everything is okay when you see her again?”

It sounded so much worse when Ashton put it like that but, yes. That was what Luke had been planning on doing.

He had planned on keeping the truth from Dylan. He had planned on letting Charlotte feel whatever she was feeling so that she could move on. He wanted her to hate him. He wanted her to be pissed off at him. He wanted her to move on and he knew that hurting her would be the quickest way to do that. He planned on pretending that nothing was different when he saw her at Dylan’s rehearsal dinner or at the wedding. He planned on not seeing her without Dylan and a crowd of others around the pair of them.

He planned on letting her take the brunt of the emotional damage and pretending that everything was fine.

But when Ashton fixed him with a less than impressed stare, Luke could only shrug.

“I love you,” Ashton assured Luke as he returned his beer to the table and folded his arms across his chest, “I really do. You’re my brother. But that is bullshit and you know it. I don’t like playing this card but imagine if someone did to Dylan what you’re doing to Charlotte. Imagine if Dylan slept with Cal, for instance, and he knew that she was head over heels for him. Then he came in, they slept together, and he just fucked off. That wouldn’t make you very happy, would it?” When Luke didn’t respond, Ashton sighed and shook his head. “I’m not saying you took advantage of Charlotte because I think everyone knows how she feels about you and I do believe she wanted to sleep with you but, man, you knew how she felt about you going in. You know exactly what leaving her alone to think about this is going to do and if you don’t reach out, whatever happens with her and Dylan or with you and Dylan or with you and her is on you.”

That was the last thing that Luke wanted to hear.

He had wanted Ashton to tell him to give her space, to give her time to process her feelings, but Luke realized that was the worst option of the bunch. He knew that he needed to reach out to her, to assure her that he hadn’t just wanted to sleep with her and that it had meant something, but the thought of acknowledging that this meant something terrified him.

And when Ashton asked, “How do you feel about her? What did any of it mean to you?” Luke only wished he could answer him.

Charlotte’s only confidant was Dylan. Whenever things went wrong, Dylan was the first person she reached out to and she wanted nothing more than to spill every thought on her mind. She needed guidance, needed someone to tell her to calm the fuck down and take a moment to breathe, but she couldn’t tell Dylan anything. She knew that she would end up spilling who had fucked with her head so badly the moment Dylan asked and that was the last thing she wanted to do.

So, instead of taking her phone off Do Not Disturb, Charlotte left the device in the console of her car and thanked whatever deity was listening that her parents weren’t home when she arrived. She knew that she looked like she’d spent the entire drive crying (she had) and that she’d worried herself to the point of picking at her nails and biting her lip. She dragged her bag up the stairs to her bedroom, threw away the note that her parents left telling her that they were picking up her brother from the airport and that they’d bring home takeout for dinner, and left her cellphone in her car as she headed down the street toward the park near her parent’s home.

She knew that it was a shitty move to ignore Dylan, knew that it wasn’t her fault that she’d fucked up and let herself get carried away, but she couldn’t talk to her without breaking down so she knew that time and a little bit of space would be her best option. And if Dylan asked, she could always blame her silence on her parents.

Charlotte wandered down the street to the small park she frequented as a child. It had lost its magic somewhere in her teen years. The park that she once loved had become a place she avoided whenever she came home unless she was overcome by some awful nostalgia that was quickly replaced with annoyance whenever she stepped foot inside the gates but it felt fitting to enter the gates and take a seat on a bench near the entrance of the park.

Charlotte watched as children, finally free for summer break, ran around the park with their friends. She watched parents gossip to one another, laughing at the silly games their kids played and fixing whatever mild inconvenience disturbed the fun as quickly as they could. She watched as older kids, dragged to the park by their parents much as her older siblings had been once upon a time, sat on benches with their phones in hand.

It felt both like coming home, stepping into a piece of her past that she’d forgotten, and overwhelmingly alien, like this was a life she’d only ever dreamt of living. To be entirely fair, everything had felt alien since waking up with Luke beside her in bed and she could only imagine that things would get worse until she confronted her feelings head on. She longed for someone to guide her, someone to help her through the turmoil that filled the pit of her stomach with a violent sea of emotions, but there was no one she trusted enough to talk to.

Her siblings, while they loved her (she imagined), had never been really her siblings. They never really interacted with her unless they had to and she imagined it was because of the age difference. They were already teenagers, unwilling to devote time to a child, by the time she came around and they were out of the house, living their own lives by the time she would’ve been any fun to spend time with. Her parents, well, they never really listened when she spoke, anyway so it wasn’t like talking to them would help. Dylan, the only person that she knew she could trust, was out of the question and she didn’t want to worry her grandmother, the only member of her family that she felt truly cared about her.

Everywhere she looked, Dylan saw a brick wall and only made her feel worse.

She felt alone, afraid of the future, and uncertain of what to do with her life. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t notice another person take a seat beside her until a quiet voice greeted her.

“Mrs. Baker,” Charlotte mumbled, blinking beneath her sunglasses as she recognized the older woman from a few doors down, “hi. Sorry, I was in my head.”

“That’s alright, dear,” Mrs. Baker assured her with a smile as she reached out to pat Charlotte’s knee. “I imagine there’s a lot on your mind right now. Getting ready for graduate school, I hear. Congratulations.”

Charlotte smiled, a genuine gesture that she hadn’t imagined she was capable of at that moment, and nodded. “Thank you. Yeah, getting ready for school and stuff. It’s a bit stressful.”

“Just school or is there something else on your mind? I haven’t seen you here in a while,” Mrs. Baker prodded as she kept her gaze on the jungle gym where her grandchildren were playing.

Charlotte knew that she shouldn’t burden Mrs. Baker with her problems, knew that she shouldn’t even allude to them, but she also felt as if she would burst if she didn’t tell someone. She needed help, needed someone to listen, and Mrs. Baker was the closest thing to a confidant she had in that moment.

She hesitated for a moment, weighing her words and wondering exactly how she should phrase her statement, before she sighed. “Just my personal life going to shambles.” When Mrs. Baker glanced at her, curious, Charlotte trained her gaze on her fingernails and shrugged. “I’m really interested in this guy, even though I shouldn’t be,” she began, as vague as possible, “and I don’t know if I mean anything to him when he means so much to me. And I don’t want to keep dwelling on something that may or may not ever happen but it’s all I can think about. I know that if something does end up happening, I’ll have to deal with the consequences of it in my life and, even if nothing happens, I still have to deal with it.”

Charlotte paused for a moment, biting back the frustrated tears that threatened to fall, and shook her head. “Sorry, Mrs. Baker. That’s so vague. I just… I don’t know. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, dear. You have nothing to be apologetic about,” Mrs. Baker chastised with a shake of her head. “You’re taking a step in the right direction. You don’t have to know everything right now but you do need to process your feelings and figure out what’s happening. Don’t dwell on things that you can’t change, that never helps, but try to figure out what you feel and how you should proceed. You can’t pretend it doesn’t exist, that will only make things worse down the line. But you also can’t let it control your life. Fix what you can, let go of what you can’t. Do not give anyone else power over your life.”

The advice seemed so simple, so common sense, that Charlotte almost hated herself for not having come to that same conclusion. However, she knew that when the more irrational thoughts took hold of her brain, it was hard for her to move past them. She hated that, hated having those thoughts and being that person that constantly needed someone to hold her hand, and she knew that Mrs. Baker was right. Having someone else put things into perspective for her, having someone tell her that she was being irrational and that she needed to calm down, was what she really needed but she knew that she couldn’t have that all the time so she resolved that she would do better.

She would be better.

She smiled at Mrs. Baker again, another thing that had felt impossible only minutes ago, and thanked her. “You make it sound so easy,” Charlotte teased half-heartedly. “Thank you, though. That really is helpful. I don’t know what I’m going to do but I know that whatever ends up happening, I can’t let it bother me like this.”

“You’re a good girl, Charlotte,” Mrs. Baker reminded her with a smile. “You have a strong head on your shoulders and know what you want from life. Don’t let anyone else push you into such a tizzy. Everything will be alright. You just have to give it time. Dwelling on the past doesn’t change it. Channel that negative energy into something positive. Your parents told me you found a job for the summer, right?” When Charlotte nodded, Mrs. Baker copied her action. “Get to work, then,” she hummed happily. “Focus on good things. Everything else will fall into place.”

Charlotte still felt the weight of the world on her shoulders. Her feelings for Luke ran so deep that she couldn’t change them overnight. She knew that there would be days where all she wanted to do was cry and she didn’t even want to think about what would happen when she ran into him again. However, she resolved that she needed to at least pretend to be alright. If she could fake it, if she could not think about it for long enough, she eventually would be fine.

When she returned home, her parents were pulling into the driveway with her older brother, his wife, and their four-year-old crowded into the backseat. Her older sister would be arriving the next morning, the rest of her family on Sunday. She had enough to worry about with them, had enough to stress about when they started in on her, that she didn’t even think to grab her cellphone from the console of her car. If she had, she might’ve seen the dozens of missed calls and texts and Snapchat messages from Dylan.

She might’ve even seen the single text from Luke.

But she didn’t and, if she was being honest with herself, she didn’t want to look. Simply thinking his name filled the pit of her stomach with a slurry of emotions that she didn’t feel like addressing. So, she left it alone and figured that with the morning light would come a new day. She would try harder, be better, and maybe, just maybe, everything would be okay.

_______________________________________________________________________

Author’s Note: Sorry this is so short. My head hurts and I felt like it was starting to drag.

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