#biblichor-lisztomaniac

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The Things They Carried

this book is not close to one I would’ve picked up under normal circumstances, but this book is also my required senior summer reading book.

This book is a collection of war stories and facts interspersed with profound realizations, morals, and truths.

The war stories would be the most interesting part of this for me. I did not necessarily enjoy them with their seemingly unnecessary violence or tragic endings, but it was fascinating for me to here about the true horrors of war.

However, these horrors of war are later revealed as not really true in my sense of the word. O’Brien’s idea of truth is whatever helps you keep the happening of the story alive. He claims that by distorting the truth, which in my opinion is just not telling the truth at all, he is making the story real and present and bringing you into his feelings and into the story.

This book was a difficult read for me simply because I struggle to understand O’Brien’s idea of truth. To some extent i understand what he is saying about truly displaying the events which occurred, but in my opinion the whole endeavor of writing anything, from a novel to a poem, bringing to life the truth with words. So this idea of bringing true understandings to life with false stories seems to be almost a judgement of the ability of other people to empathize. Granted, war is a harrowing and horrifying experience which is not comparable to anything, but the experience itself, but the fact of the matter is that a good story is true. We can all relate to feelings that do not quite match with our situation, whether being an overreaction or under reaction. Human beings all have generally the same experiences just on different levels of severity, but our emotional reactions can all be related to one another despite the difference of circumstances. This concept of manipulating truth to tell a story in a way which keeps the emotion of the story alive, especially for the storyteller, seems counterproductive as stories and writing should be a release of pain and a coming to terms with reality rather than a warping of reality for pain’s sake.

Maybe I am not quite properly interpreting these lessons as they are meant to be, but this is my truth of how I’ve interpreted them and the whole book truly did manage to make me confused, angry, and introspective. So if you’re ready to think I’d definitely recommend.

Much Love

-R

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This quiet blue tomb of you

The kinda of song for days in the sun with nothing to do

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Gabriel’s Rapture

Professor Gabriel Emerson has embarked on a passionate, yet clandestine affair with his former student Julia Mitchell. Sequestered on a romantic holiday in Italy, he tutors her in the sensual delights of the body and the raptures of sex.

But when they return, their happiness is threatened by conspiring students, academic politics, and a jealous ex-lover. When gabriel is confronted by university administration will he succumb to Dante’s fate? Or will he fight to keep Julia, his Beatrice, forever?

Possible Spoilers Below

This book, though enjoyable, gave me far more anxiety than happiness. Although I love the idea of self-sacrifice for the one you love as Gabriel sacrificed his career for Julia’s future, but to me communication is so important and I strongly disagree with how he went about this situation. His absence and Julia’s pain left me very anxiety ridden and upset as I am very emotionally in touch with the characters I read about.

However Julia and Gabriel both had their wonderful qualities.

Julia’s ability to push on through pain or at least try to move past the heartbreak was inspiring. I find it both upsetting and annoying when female characters sit around crying for their male counterpart. In my opinion a strong female is one who can survive and prosper on her while also being able to accept the companionship and communicate successful in a partnership with a romantic interest. I loved how despite her pain she picked herself up and pushed on to some extent.

On Gabriel’s behalf, once he makes his reappearance his actions are all uphill from there. He moves a little fast in the timeline of their relationship wanting immediate reconciliation with marriage and children on the horizon, but I really appreciated his willingness to remain abstinent until the wedding. A) in modern media women are often presented with the idea that men need or constantly desire sex and these actions of Gabriel’s sent a new message that some men in fact desire abstinence and it is not acceptable for a woman to pressure a man either. B) given Gabriel’s sexual history his restraint from sexual activity displayed a kind of maturity to show that he was moving forward. His love no longer required sex to be legitimate, but he could still appreciate that form of love making. In my opinion it validated Julia in showing her she was not just a tool or toy for him.

Just started the next book a few days ago and can’t wait to see where it goes

Much Love

- R

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GRAVE MERCY

Ismae escapes a brutal, abusive life to the convent of one of the old gods. Mortain is both God of Death, and her father. She trains for years at the convent to be an assassin carrying out Mortain’s will against the sinners of the world. Until she receives her greatest assignment yet, and her hardest. A tale of uncovered secrets and a race against time.

Grave Mercy is an excellent read and so are the two sister books whose plot follows her fellow assassins Sybella, and Annith. It doesn’t have very much romance at all if that’s not your thing and it’s a complete journey of faith, betrayal, and discovery.

SPOILERS BELOW

My favorite part of course is Ismae’s unrelenting compassion. Her journey, from the abuse of her husband and father to the training of being an assassin, has been long and brutal, but throughout the book (and the two to follow) she shows such kindness in her actions to Isabeau, the duchess Anne, and any new companion she meets.

I also love Gavriel’s commitment to Anne. Although he should not shoulder responsibility for her entirely, him stepping into the fatherly role is heartwarming. Additionally, in this time period bastard-born children are typically not acknowledged much less accepted and Anne’s love for her half-brother and their connection and trust despite his “lowly” real mother, really highlights a beautiful relationship.

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130 rounds they shot them down

the kind of song that makes you wish you could play guitar in a meadow all day

Much Love

- R

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Pressing on a bruise just to feel something

Much Love 

-R

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The Princess Bride

What happens when the most beautiful girl in the world marries the handsomest prince of all time and he turns out to be...well...a lot less than the man of her dreams? As a boy, William Goldman claims, he loved to hear his father read the S. Morgenstern classic, The Princess Bride. But as a grown-up he discovered that the boring parts were left out of good old Dad's recitation, and only the "good parts" reached his ears. Now Goldman does Dad one better. He's reconstructed the "Good Parts Version" to delight wise kids and wide-eyed grownups everywhere. What's it about? Fencing. Fighting. True Love. Strong Hate. Harsh Revenge. A Few Giants. Lots of Bad Men. Lots of Good Men. Five or Six Beautiful Women. Beasties Monstrous and Gentle. Some Swell Escapes and Captures. Death, Lies, Truth, Miracles, and a Little Sex. In short, it's about everything.

POSSIBLE SPOILERS BELOW

Quite frankly, whether you want to or not The Princess Bride is a must read. As a childhood classic, it’s one of those books school will never force you to read, but it’s so deeply intertwined into pop culture, even today, that you absolutely have to read it. This is a book whose references will never die.

It’s been at least 8 years since I’ve watched this movie, so I went into this book with a little less than the basic knowledge, which is what I would suggest. It allows you to formulate your own opinions about the book and not just constantly compare it to the movie. However, I liked that I had vague visual and dialogical reference points.

The entire book was full of nostalgia for me, triggering memories, understanding references, it was a goldmine for my childhood. It’s the kind of read I would take on vacation, easy, especially if you’ve watched the movie, and light, slightly funny, but also has some angst, hope and of course, romance. It’s the kind of story I hope my children use to get into reading. 

I had two problems with this story. Only two things out of what was once 1000 pages, now reduced to just over 300. Firstly, I did not like the way Buttercup’s love was characterized and developed. I understand that everyone experiences emotion differently, but I did not like that the message it broadcasts is first that A) you don’t need love which rapidly switches to B) without love life is worthless and death is preferable. In my eyes neither of those statements are true and love is a relative factor, so even if they were true this is not a universal truth. 

Secondly, I despised the ending. I read to imagine, I read to dream, to hope, to escape, to enjoy. Some readers also write, but that creativity simply does not exist within me and even if it did, I like fact. I much prefer fact to my own ideas or the endless possibilities which exist. The open-endedness, but also clearly dire, ending to the book disappointed me greatly. I have not seen the movie in many years so perhaps this ending occurs in the movie as well, but I do not recall. Either way the ending of the book which is along the lines of “everything was great... until all our protagonists faced an issue and the prince started pursuing them.” Based on the nature of this book, it would suggest that once again they weasel out of a drastic scenario and ride off into the sunset. But i cannot, for the life of me, imagine how that would occur, or if it would occur at all. I desire a true and definitive ending, so that once and for all I can know how this tale ends.

Definitely a must read, but now I will forever be left with a question that will never be answered. 

Much Love

- R

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Souls Unfractured

"For fractured souls are like magnets. Drawn to collide into an impossible bliss…" Labeled a ‘Cursed’ woman of Eve from birth, Maddie has endured nothing but pain and repression at the hands of The Order’s most abusive elder, Moses. Now living with her sister in The Hangmen’s secluded compound, finally, Maddie, is free. Free from the suffocating faith she no longer believes in. Free from endless years of physical and mental torment. Just… free… At age twenty-one, the timid and shy Maddie is content to live within the confines of her new home—safe from the outside world, safe from harm and, strangely, protected by the Hangmen’s most volatile member; the heavily pierced and tattooed, Flame. Flame. The man who ceaselessly watches over her with his midnight dark and searing eyes. The man who protects her with a breath-taking intensity. And the man who stirs something deep within her numbed heart. But when circumstances conspire for Flame to need HER help, Maddie bravely risks it all for the broken man who has captivated her fragile soul. The Hangmen’s most infamous member, Flame, is ruled by one thing—anger. Plagued by haunting demons from his past, an all-consuming rage, and isolated by an abhorrent hatred of being touched, Flame's days are filled with suffocating darkness, pierced only by a single ray of light—Maddie. The shy, beautiful woman he cannot purge from his thoughts. The woman he has an overwhelming need to possess… ... the only person who has ever been able to touch him. Flame’s mission in life is to protect Maddie, to keep her safe. Until a trigger from his troubled past sends him spiraling into madness, trapping him in the deepest recesses of his disturbed mind. His Hangmen brothers fear that Flame is beyond saving. His only hope of salvation: Maddie and her healing light.

POSSIBLE SPOILERS BELOW

this book was just as good as the others, but in a wildly different manner.

It delved deep in to abuse and the dark pasts of both Maddie and Flame and is certainly not for the faint of heart, it is incredibly tragic, brutal and striking.

However despite all of this, this book was wonderful. Though the sense of sex and danger still remained this book did not display it nearly as much as the previous two. 

It was mostly about the recovery and journey to find themselves that Maddie and Flame shared. Less Maddie than Flame and was interesting to see that the ones who need help are not always the ones perceived as weak that we all need help at times and denying it will never help us.

The journey for Flame to recover showed that sometimes the things that help us recover are not the things we might want to face or do, but in the end finding yourself is never without a fight. It showed the vulnerability behind a facade.

The most interesting part was watching Flame tackle his self-mutilation and inability to touch, but also attacking the beliefs so engraved in his mind about the evil within him. It was inspiring and touching to watch him journey to fight back against his demons and defeat the memories. 

I think within this story the most significant part for Maddie were her drawings. She was abused and perceived as vulnerbale, but despite her pain she found solace in her sketches and it was truly the best part. That the vulnerable have strength, that we all have strength and there is no shame in needing help.

This story to me was less fiction about gangs and cults and more a symbol of defeating darkness.

Much love

- R

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Heart Recaptured

Even salvation can be delivered through the love of the damned… Beauty can be a curse. Faith can be a cage. Only love can set you free. A few long weeks after being reluctantly ripped from the comforting embrace of her sacred prophet’s religious commune—the only life she has ever known—a terrified Delilah is thrust into a world enveloped by evil and swimming in sin. Steadfastly devout in her faith, and retaining the deep belief that her soul is innately tarnished as a branded ‘Cursed woman of Eve’, Delilah is determined to find her way home to her people in The Order and away from the corrupt and damned outlaw motorcycle club—The Hades Hangmen—who hold her at their secluded compound for her protection—a 'protection' she strongly resents. Delilah yearns to return home, convinced that only amongst her own people, and under the holy guidance of the Lord’s revealed prophet, can her Satan-spawned soul be truly saved. Conditioned her entire life to believe she is a witch... a life-long temptress… the devil’s whore... Delilah increasingly resents her beautiful face, her shapely body and her sensuous effect on men. But when a man of the motorcycle club—a deeply sinful yet stunningly beautiful man—is charged with her care, Delilah begins to see that this dangerous and moralless sinner from the 'outside' may offer her something she did not know could truly exist: unconditional love. Kyler ‘Ky’ Willis loves his life: a daily abundance of brotherhood, liquor, the freedom of the open-road and—best of all—his pick of hot women. Raised a biker brat and now VP of the most notorious MC in the States, Ky has no shortage of club sluts warming his bed; a situation he takes full advantage of… until a certain blonde enters his life… a gorgeous pilgrim-blonde he can’t get out of his head… a pilgrim-blonde he and his club recently-rescued from some backward religious cult… and a pilgrim-blonde he’s been ordered to keep the hell away from and his whorish hands off. When yet another in a lengthy line of drunken blunders forces Ky to reluctantly take charge of the pilgrim-blonde’s care, he realizes that there could be more to this woman than just supermodel looks and a stacked set of tits. He begins to see that she could be the woman who could do the impossible—tame his wild ways and capture his reluctant heart. But the unyielding bonds of Lilah’s past are strong, her ‘people’ determined and, with a new Prophet in charge and hell bent on revenge, they are mightily reluctant to let her go

Possible Spoilers Below

HOLY MOLY. i loved this just as much as the first one. It painted such a wild world of sex, alcohol, and unapologetic brutality. It isn’t exactly relatable, but it’s the kind of this you imagine being involved in, a badass biker with a hot partner fighting people, kicking ass and taking names. 

The underlying romance was a bit stereotypical, a manwhore is tamed by an innocent girl, but the surrounding plot is what made the story captivating. 

I sort of thought it was cool how Cole threw them together in an interesting way not just “there was an immediate connection and everything’s perfect”. There was conflict and they did not immediately take to each other which to me is more the reality of love. 

I thought it was cool also that the target of kidnapping was Mae and not Lilah, that it was an accident, it made the whole scenario that much more tragic for Ky, and as brutal as her torture was i appreciate the author’s choice of a delayed rescue and a suffering Lilah. It reflected the realities of life although the situations are not usually this drastic. 

It was heartbreaking to see Lilah so brainwashed, destroying herself to be free, but in a way I can respect that that is what she needed and it helped her to free herself from the confines of her mind.

I ate this book up and read it in a day, but there are truly no words for how I felt about it and as long as you can handle violent, and mature content I recommend it.

Much love

- R

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Book Haul

Broke up with my boyfriend two days ago and my mom took me for a little retail therapy at the bookstore near me house.

25 books, most I’ve read and just wanted to have and some I can’t wait to officially check off my to-read list. Plus I also got an advanced copy of A Very Large Expanse of Sea by Tahereh Mafi. I cannot wait to begin!

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Afraid to leave my father and afraid to be him too

the kind of song for when you just wanna daydream a little

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An Enchantment of Ravens

Isobel is a prodigy portrait artist with a dangerous set of clients: the sinister fair folk, immortal creatures who cannot bake bread, weave cloth, or put a pen to paper without crumbling to dust. They crave human Craft with a terrible thirst, and Isobel’s paintings are highly prized. But when she receives her first royal patron—Rook, the autumn prince—she makes a terrible mistake. She paints mortal sorrow in his eyes—a weakness that could cost him his life. Furious and devastated, Rook spirits her away to the autumnlands to stand trial for her crime. Waylaid by the Wild Hunt’s ghostly hounds, the tainted influence of the Alder King, and hideous monsters risen from barrow mounds, Isobel and Rook depend on one another for survival. Their alliance blossoms into trust, then love—and that love violates the fair folks’ ruthless laws. Now both of their lives are forfeit, unless Isobel can use her skill as an artist to fight the fairy courts. Because secretly, her Craft represents a threat the fair folk have never faced in all the millennia of their unchanging lives: for the first time, her portraits have the power to make them feel. 

PSB (Possible Spoilers Below)

This book originally attracted me because of the Faery background. I love Fae based books, but the only ones I’ve read recently are those by SJM. So her Fae characters are the basis for my Fae imagination. This book painted Fae and their kingdoms and adventures in a vastly different light. I loved the idea of Fae being emotionless and unable to feel, as well as the idea of them being unable to create Craft, but left desiring it. 

Isobel’s Craft and ultimate idea of saving Rook’s reputation by creating a new Craft of emotion is fascinating to me. I love how she is able to intimately affect some Fae with her work and it demonstrates the true power of any art form.

I was also fascinated by the idea that Fae cannot create Craft or they will die. To me this was an interesting concept and way to intertwine the two species and their worlds. Then this lead into the Greenwell and its benefits and consequences. Isobel’s rejection of immortality was extremely refreshing. I’ve found that immortality doesn’t appeal to me simply because a time limit on life is a motivation to live and I would not like to watch the world pass me by or watch people I love pass on. The idea that Isobel’s Craft was a part of her she did not wish to part with was a really cool projection of how love should not make you sacrifice your passions, but rather stick with you through sacrifices for your passions. Although it leaves the concern of Isobel aging and leaving Rook behind it was ultimately wonderful to me. 

I did however feel that despite some interesting concepts this book presented that it moved far too fast and left many aspects unexplained. Rook and Isobel’s love seemed to pop up with little prompting and escalate far to quickly which made sense from Rook’s perspective as a being without feeling, but was not understandable from my perspective of Isobel. 

Additonally, a lot of the laws, histories, and other magical concepts were not elaborated enough for me to understand as well as I would’ve liked to. I feel that many aspects of the story came from nowhere or were unnecessary and polluted the plot. Ultimately I enjoyed the story, but I would’ve much preferred a more in depth and drawn out version of the book. I enjoy longer books far more.

Much Love

- R

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when your friends sing born to run baby resist cause we were born to drift

the kind of song that makes you feel just a little bit lost

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Gabriel’s Inferno

Julia Mitchell is an aspiring Dante expert with a tragic past. 

Gabriel Emerson is an attractive and dark professor and Dante expert whose past mistakes haunt his every step.

When their paths collide it sends them on a journey that neither of them expect. 

This book originally struck me as very much like the Fifty Shades series, which I read and liked for the most part, but this book was much more preferable with far fewer strangely erotic scenes. However, other than that the factors of this plot reminded me a lot of the entire Fifty Shades series. 

I really liked this book, it was strange to me the connection through Julia and Gabriel and some of her actions, but in the end it just serves to highlight her innocence and naivety. 

SPOILERS BELOW

My favorite part about this book is that Gabriel is not changed by Julia. He is not altered or made ‘better’. He is still who he has always been, but he has just found himself and is ready to be the best version of himself. He has realized what he truly wants. There is no alteration of his personality to a severe extent or a sacrifice of lifestyle. Everything is mutual and wanted. His removal of his erotic photos as well as willing admission of his secrets such as Maia, Paulina and Prof. Singer demonstrates that he is making changes willingly not because he is subconsciously trapped. It’s beautiful to see a positively beneficial relationship. She brings out his innocence and he brings out her adventure. They compliment each other. 

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We ran these neighborhood streets

The kind of song for when you wanna relive those nights that seemed straight out of movies

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so help me god, if it is the last thing I do I will have a personal library with a sliding ladder