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morelike-bi-light · 5 years

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Top 5 Victoria headcanons (rose-lily-hale)

Yall are just!!!! Feeding me!!!! I am so so here for this like you have no idea

5. Edward has the exact same coloring as her sister before they were both changed - Auburn hair and golden eyes. Her sister's are described as brown, I think, but I hc them as a light golden brown. So in my head, when Victoria sees him, the similarity is jarring. If you replace Edward with Edythe in the original saga, I think Victoria is even sooner to let him kill her (because that is how the fight has read to me since we learned Victoria actively suppressed her power (of survival!) during the fight). I think she'd keep seeing her sister as they fought, and when she killed her, the survivor's guilt might finally be eased by the image of Edythe walking away, because it'd look/feel like Anne was walking away and surviving while Victoria died. :(

4. I see her as having a very isolating childhood. Smeyer makes a point of saying that of the two sisters, Anne was the beauty. Their mother was a single parent and their father is implied to be the master of the house that she served at, so the whole family was probably ostracized. But I imagine Victoria, w/ her witchy features (orange hair and green eyes) and initially wilder personality, getting the worst of it. Sort of like Anne of Green Gables, but with less access to education, and a prettier older sister who was treated better (though not always well).

3. Victoria doesn't really know how to read. She was never taught as a human, and as part of Hilda's coven, they'd all still been adjusting to having a family at all, and hadn't had time to teach or learn anything more from each other yet when they were taken from her. Then, isolating herself for two centuries, she didn't need to. After James hunted and recruited her, he always responded to any expression of interest in the ability with derision, so she dropped it. She's picked up on certain things - it has been four centuries, after all. But only small things, mostly some parts of words common to street and shop signs. After she transforms Riley and the newborns, this becomes a real weakness. She can't understand if they write notes to each other - the real reason Riley is as powerful as he is is because he can make sure the newborns aren't using written messages to defy her.

2. Her ability to feel what she needs to do to survive is the vampiric manifestation of the coping/survival mechanisms resulting from PTSD caused by the abuse she and her sister when through.

1. Victoria's power to survive has more potential than she ever knew - it could've grown to be very powerful - and also had more of a grip on her than we saw. When her life is directly in danger, the pull feels like a yank on her brain and muscles - she hardly has to do anything to evade attacks. When her life is not in direct danger, it's like an unseen force is lightly touching her nerves - less of a pull, more of a gentle nudge. This is the force that disappears when her sister and coven dies, and reappears with James. She joins him because it "feels right". When he dies, it disappears again. The reason the nudge existed with Anne and again with James, is because the power to survive doesn't just move her to protect herself, it also moves her to protect the part of her life that she values, cherishes, loves - whatever makes her survival matter. Because protecting the reason she wants to live, keeps her alive as well.

The nudge that existed with Anne, was one that told her to keep Anne, and then all of Hilda's coven, alive. But there was no way to save her sisters once the Volturi arrived to claim Heidi, so it was either herself or nothing, so her body was yanked into running even as she yelled for her sisters to run. Once the last of her coven was killed, there was no one else she loved, and she had no real love for life, so the "nudge" went away completely.

The "nudge" that James inspired was because the possibility of him being the death of her was Never off the table, so her powers nudged her to keep him happy. She'd get random nudges to run away sometimes, but only for split seconds before he was paying attention again and the urge to stay resumed.

When he dies, the nudge disappears, because nothing has changed since her coven died. She still doesn't care enough about anything to have a purpose. So she cobbles together her own purpose - revenge, because that's what you do when you love someone, isn't it, and she needs something to break the silence. But it doesn't fix the problem, and eventually she doesn't want to go on. So, knowing how to survive and knowing what that means, she goes through the fight defying her power, avoiding its use, cursing Edward for taking away James because that was the only reason she could find to keep going.

Wow! So that was depressing. And revealing! And it took way too much time and is way too long I'm sorry I went feral but oh well! I had so much fun ranting about my wife anyway you have no idea tysm ily for the excuse to cry for her

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