#bipolar benny lafitte

[suncaptor]

Hi bestie, not sure how invested you are in the headcannon but do you have any Bipolar Benny thoughts to share? 👀

The thing with Benny & bipolar is that I think for the most part we see him as depressed and we can explain most of what's going on through trauma but the lense of it being post mania adds something really interesting. Like he drops from this desperate always on alert state that keeps him manic and has this huge mood drop coming to Earth that means he associates feeling afraid for his life as a high and part of what he should belong to?

Also. Thinking of him having mood cycles in Purgatory. There's no regulation. It's perpetual twilight. He drops low and nothings still safe and nothing means anything and nothing usually feels euphoric because he's always on edge all the time so he's so so agitated.

I think him meeting Dean while (hypo?) manic would also be interesting because Dean brings colour and life into it in part because his brain is ripe for that sort of impulsive and deep connection (especially since Dean has bpd and makes him his favourite person). So they connect and mean a lot to one another fast. And what's really important then to Benny is even on Earth when he's suicidal and empty and sad Dean still makes him laugh and drags him out of the depths of it and still matters in some absence corner of Benny's head <3

I also think if Benny had manic symptoms while in Purgatory it would be associated with agitation and his bloodlust, but I think on Earth then he is TERRIFIED of that coming back because even though he thinks he could control himself in theory! he's terrified of the way his brain seems completely out of control and on Earth the consequences are greater considering he's also a vampire. (this is NOT to say people w/ bipolar are a risk, I'm talking about Benny's neuroses about being a vampire and specifically how that would make him afraid).

I also just think his emo philosophical angst feels in tune with the bipolar perception of lifted into fast other planely states and dropping down again. (But again these are headcanons, in canon I totally just see him traumatised as well. but it's fun to think of.)