#bittychowder

[garden-of-succulents]

Oh god today I have a really strong and specific Bitty/Chowder craving. Time to go hunting...

(Anyone wanna write me some sunshine?)

[alphacrone]

i found this post in my drafts and have ZERO memory of writing it (thank u alcohol) so im gonna put it in my queue lol

ok but imagine 

Bitty comes out to his parents but he doesn't tell them about Jack, thinks it's for the best, maybe to ease his parents into things or maybe to keep the pool of People Who Know as small as possible 

and like yeah Ransom and Holster are super oblivious but Suzanne Bittle is not, not when it comes to her son, because she is a certified Nosy Southern Mother and she can see he's been acting differently, happier but quieter, always on his phone and blushing when she asks about boys

and he talks about the team a LOT 

Jack's one of his best friends and he's just started his NHL career, so of course Bitty’s never gonna shut up about Jack

(Same goes for Shitty and law school. And eventually Ransom and med school. Dicky is proud of his friends and wants everyone to know. He gets that trait from Suzanne, she understands)

but he keeps talking about this one Boy, how sweet he is and how his smile is like a sack of puppies and how bitty's always making this boy do things with him like baking and getting froyo and going shopping and Suzanne is like. Yes. This must be Dicky's secret boyfriend. 

 the next family weekend or whatever, Suzanne demands to meet this Chowder boy who's stolen Bitty's heart

Bitty is both confused and mortified

“No, Mother,” he says. “Chowder is my friend, I mean look at him, that sweet precious baby fawn of a goalie-”

Suzanne is Not Convinced

“Mhmm,” she replies. “Sure, baby. Sure.” 

but bitty can’t disobey his mother, so he drags the Frogs into the kitchen and introduces them all at once

so dex is like “um ok nice to meet you ma’am” and nursey’s all “sup mrs. b” and then Chowder - sweet Chowder - goes over and hugs her and starts rambling on a mile a minute about how much the team loves bitty and gosh it’s so nice to meet you, mrs. bitty’s mom, thank you for the care packages and oh do you watch hockey what team do you root for my team’s the sharks they’re ‘swawesome hey are you coming to our game tonight i think the coaches are gonna start bitty which is So Great because bitty is So Great of course the entire team is So Great but you know we all just love bitty So Much-!

Suzanne is Very Much Convinced

bitty’s gone bright red and none of the Frogs can figure out why

so i think by this point Ransom & Holster have a running joke about Bitty’s Secret Boyfriend bc, even tho they know, they’re Major Shitheads

(”Who’re you texting, Bits?” “Oh, uh, Jack.” “Pshyeah right, look at that blush. Who are you really texting?” “Oh, my God, I swear I’m just texting Jack.” “Bro, it’s gotta be your secret boyfriend.” “Adam Birkholtz, I swear to Jesus-”)

so R&H are messing around in the kitchen as bitty and his mom make a pre-game pie or something and bitty’s texting with jack about how mortifying his day has been when, of course, it gets worse

“Dude, stop texting your Secret Boyfriend,” Ransom says, giving Bitty a shit-eating grin.

bitty goes super pale. 

normally the joke is just kind of annoying but His Mother is Right Here And

Suzanne perks up.

“What was that?” She asks in that slow, sweet, unassuming way that all middle aged southern ladies use when they smell blood in the water

Bitty knows he’s Fucked

“Oh, hahahaha, just an inside joke, Mama, I’m just texting Jack, these boys and their silly little jokes, tell her it’s a joke, Justin”

so now Suzanne is almost certain Bitty’s hiding a boyfriend from her. she gets it, her mama never knew about half the guys she dated and she never had to Come Out to her mama. but Suzanne is not a saint and privacy doesn’t really exist when it’s your flesh and blood

“So, Adam. Justin. Tell me more about that sweet, little Christopher,” she says. “He’s real cute. Don’t you think so, Dicky?” 

to bitty’s delight, though, R&H go straight into Captains mode

“Oh, yeah, Chow’s a great asset to the team.” “One of the best goalies I’ve ever known.” “Real go-getter attitude.” “Hard worker. Weird fear of pucks, though.” “Still. What a guy.” 

Bullet dodged, crisis averted. Bitty breathes easy for a moment. 

so in this time he’s managed to text Chowder and has asked him to AVOID MAMA BITTLE AT ALL COSTS WHICH

chowder is clearly unable to do

“why????!?? did she not like me?!??? did i say something???!!”

so bitty is trying to calm chowder down and suzanne’s all Sugar Bear Sweetpea Fruit of my Loins WHO ARE YOU TEXTING

and chowder barges into the haus, apologizes a mile a minute for literally Anything he can think of

“I’m sorry for not asking you if you wanted a drink! And I’m sorry for not offering you a tour of the Haus- though I guess Bitty’s already done that- oh! Did I not say it’s nice to meet you?! It’s so nice to meet you!!!” 

and r&h have No Idea what’s happening but they love to Stir the Pot so they’re kinda egging chowder on and Mama B is very, very confused but so happy to see Dicky’s boyfriend is so thoughtful, if not a little...excitable...

So of course this is when the Frogs and Lardo wander in, drawn to sounds of a panicked Chowder

now bitty is on the edge of hysterics, trying to calm chowder down, trying to tell his mother that he’s Not dating chowder without saying those exact words, trying to text jack because who Else would be text while losing his shit??

and then she says it

suzanne just fucking says it

“oh, gosh, honey, i don’t know what you’re apologizin for, but it’s nice to know how polite my dicky’s boyfriend is.”

the silence in the kitchen is heavy with pent-up shock and laughter.

now. chowder can be naive, but he’s a smart cookie. it takes him those few, awkward moments, but he manages to put a couple things together - why bitty wanted him away from Mrs. B, why bitty was acting so weird, why suzanne was being so friendly

so chowder, bless his tender lil heart, plays along

“oh! uh!! well, i just want! to impress my...boyfriend?! my boyfriend’s mom!!”

dex and nursey are beyond confused; lardo has to leave the room so she can laugh

this is Not What Bitty Wanted, however

and then

enter Jack Zimmermann

bitty is just about ready to curl up in a corner and die of Shame

so Suzanne does her whole heart-eyes Jack Zimmermann routine, asking after his father and yadda yadda

but jack definitely heard everything with chowder. and as jealous as he is, it was also hilarious. 

and we all know jack l zimmermann is kind of a little shit

“so I see you’ve met bitty’s boyfriend” he says in his best monotone

(now ransom has to leave because he’s about to wet himself holding back laughter)

“oh, yes, jack, i’ve finally gotten dicky to introduce me, you’d think he didn’t want me to meet sweet christopher”

bitty’s done. he’s leaving samwell immediately. already has a new name picked out for himself, is gonna hitchhike west and dye his hair brown and never speak to anyone east of albuquerque again

“oh, i can’t believe he’s being shy about chowder,” jack says, knowing that he’s probably getting himself into Trouble but plowing forward regardless. “they’ve been together almost a year now”

“WHAT.” is the reaction that comes from three different people in three very different inflections 

(now dex and nursey are taking bets; holster is recording the whole thing to send to shitty; ransom and lardo are watching from the hallway)

“oh, yeah,” jack continues on, with what is probably his Funniest and Most Terrible joke ever. “after they both got dumped by their dates at Winter Screw. right, Bittle?” 

bitty has his face buried in his hands. chowder is Beyond Confused as to why jack’s taking it this far. 

suzanne is THRILLED

so Jack is weaving this long, ridiculous story of the Epic BittyChowder romance that never was and chowder’s starting to feel uncomfortable about the way suzanne is staring at him and bitty is going to Murder his boyfriend if the mortification doesn’t kill him first

“...which is why I’m here today. to fight for bitty’s hand.”

yup. jack 110% zimmermann Goes There. 

“you’re in love with my dicky too??” “do i....do i really have to fight jack??!”

and bitty sees the look in jack’s eyes, the imperceptible nod, and the dam finally bursts: “mother, i’m not dating chowder. and i never wanted you to think i was, but chris was just trying to help me out.” 

and suzanne’s face falls and chowder sort of awkwardly...runs away...to stand in the hall with lardo and ransom

“but then why is jack here?” suzanne asks,

and jack wraps his arm around bitty’s shoulder, smiling down at bitty, and bitty finally gets to say to his mama, “because he’s my boyfriend, mother.” 

suzanne Freaks Out and cries a little and calls bob. in that order. 

but before all of that she hugs them both tight and refuses to let go. 

(years down the road, they play holster’s camera-phone video of the whole Ordeal at the zimmermann-bittle wedding. chowder literally never lives down the chirps, but hey -- that’s what best men are for.)

[misterjackbittle]

I’m honestly so happy that Chowder got Jack’s room because can you please imagine Chowder freaking out in his room and yelling at Bitty as he panicked his way through decorating

[alphacrone]

LDR Cuddle Bros

i have this headcanon that bitty’s senior year, he and chowder make a pact to try pot at least ONCE before bitty graduates

it’s just one of those quintessential College Experiences TM and if living in the haus has taught them anything, it’s that all too soon you leave the collegiate bubble and enter the cold cruelty of the Real World so you might as well have fun while you’re still a Dumb College Kid

so it’s chowder’s junior year, and farmer goes abroad in the spring, and he’s quickly learning how Bitty and Jack managed to beat his number of Fines last year

he misses just being able to HUG cait SO MUCH

and jack’s busy as ever, off being Professional and Serious, and while bitty is used to the LDR thing, it’s not like it gets easier

so it’s in the middle of the season, jack’s off for weeks at a time, farmer’s off in a vastly different time zone, bitty is FREAKING OUT about his post-grad plans slash taking the team to the Frozen Four again, and chowder has started talking with scouts about going to camps this summer

essentially, the boys are Fucking Stressed Out

surprisingly, it’s Dex who tells them they need to chill the fuck out and invites them to smoke on the roof with him and nursey

(he’s not…..tactful about it….at All)

nursey’s all “bro u didn’t have to tell bitty he looks like a serial killer what if he IS” but passes the joint pretty enthusiastically 

and then…..something magical happens

bitty isn’t a physical person. he’s handsy with his Hot Piece BF and he lets ransom and holster manhandle him because he trusts them, but bitty has literally never even bumped into Dex or Nursey off of the ice THAT’S how careful he is with initiating physical contact with Str8 Boys

even drunk, bitty’s survival instincts tend to kick in when Jocks are nigh

STONED BITTY HOWEVER

STONED BITTY GIGGLES FOR TWENTY STRAIGHT MINUTES AT THE FACT THAT NURSEY’S CARDIGAN IS MISBUTTONED, THEN ROLLS OVER AND FLOPS STRAIGHT ON TOP OF CHRISTOPHER FRANKLIN CHOW

and CHOWDER, sweet, sweet tender goal tender, CHOWDER REACTS TO IT LIKE A PLANT TO STIMULI

BY WHICH I MEAN HE WRAPS ALL OF HIS LONG ASS GANGLY LIMBS AROUND BITTY AND JUST HOLDS ON

they’re both pretty touch-starved at this point in the semester, and stressed out, and lonely. nursey and dex can’t even find the heart to chirp them too mercilessly, even when bitty falls asleep and chowder keeps chatting his ear off, arms and legs squishing them tightly together in an adorable cuddle pile

(they do, however, send about a thousand snaps to the team. jack saves ALL OF THEM.)

(jack, a man who does not blink at the duckling pictures lardo sends him, thinks these snapchats are the MOTHERFUCKING CUTEST THING HE’S EVER MOTHERFUCKING SEEN IN HIS LIFE.)

(he keeps showing them to his friends – “look at my boyfriend and our son mutual friend this picture has cured cancer and world hunger”)

and like bitty is p mortified in the morning and chowder’s a little embarrassed and they don’t talk about it but

it keeps happening

they only smoke with dex and nursey once or twice more, but somehow?? they keep?? cuddling together???

like bitty harps on chowder for napping on the Green Couch and that somehow turns into them napping on the armchair together instead??

someone barfs in chowder’s bed during a kegster and so he just crashes with bitty?? 

haus movie nights and bitty refuses to touch the couch? in chowder’s lap is totally fine. watching tape and the seats are full? chowder just plops down on bitty. heat goes out in the haus?? they build a blanket fort and ban the Northerners who choose to live in a place where the cold makes your skin hurt. 

some of the frogs get really confused when bitty mentions his Boyfriend. why can’t he just say Chowder?? is it supposed to be a secret?? 

Ford even starts having bitty room with chowder on roadies so he can snuggle the Crap outta everyone’s favorite goalie after a loss. (chowder loves to be the little spoon)

and people just sort of Don’t Mention It until it’s suddenly May and bitty’s graduating and moving to providence and everyone’s bummed, especially chowder, because he and bits have gotten SO CLOSE this year and providence is SO FAR (lol)

so they’re snuggling the SHIT out of each other like a week before graduation, possibly a little drunk because, hey, it’s Senior Week and finals are over

and suddenly, standing in Chowder’s doorway, is Caitlin Farmer

WHO GOT BACK EARLY FROM BEING ABROAD AND DECIDED TO DETOUR BY WAY OF SAMWELL TO SURPRISE HER BF

she honestly melts a little and just watches the boys for like a full moment before making her presence known

her BFs fucking adorable and the guy he’s snuggling basically a human corgi and she honestly just wants to flop down on top of them and join in but they’re clearly having a Moment

chowder might cry a little when he sees her. he definitely screams and does a cute little dance. 

(bitty totes cries, too, because he’s emotionally overwhelmed and loves seeing his BFF happy)

i really didn’t have a plot or anything for this headcanon i just love my snuggle bros

when chowder comes down for games with the Squad he just snuggles the shit out of Bitty the entire time (lol jack who?? bitty is his fave)

sometimes when ur lonely u gotta snuggle ur bro 

[garden-of-succulents]

hello would you tell me your bitty/chower headcanons if you have them? how they got together, how/if they told the team, if bits met the family when they came down to move chowder in.

Okay so like, so much of this is @sufferbot‘s fault (and then @nurseydextrash‘s fault)

Like basically, I think that Bitty and Chowder were mutually attracted the first time they ever saw each other, at the taddy tour. There was a spark.  They friended each other on Facebook.  And maybe that first day, maybe in text later, Chowder does the equivalent of, as @sufferbot phrased it, "hey you're hot... i'm hot... just letting you know!! maybe we can do something sometime!!"

But well.  Chowder, that first day when he got his tour of Samwell, was happy and excited and he felt safe.  This was his parents’ alma mater.  So he was giddy and bouncy and !!!

And Bitty looks at that behaviour and thinks: Oh dear lord, can you imagine him trying to sneak a relationship behind Coach’s back?  Good god, he’s as subtle as a Labrador.

Well, very briefly. Because then Bitty’s brain goes WARNING WARNING DANGER WILL ROBINSON, because he still equates being out about his sexuality as being socially isolated and in physical danger.  He basically thinks: being in a relationship with Chowder is a BAD IDEA, how about HELL NOPE, let’s NOT.  REPRESS, REPRESS, REPRESS.

So like suuuuuper early in their acquaintance Bitty slams the fucking lid on that attraction.  And so we start seeing stuff about “my son, sweet baby Chowder”, Bitty reminding himself that Chowder’s all young and naive and stuff! (Unlike Bitty, who is an entire year older and much more subtle.)  So yes, he meets Chowder’s parents at move-in, and they’re kind of bemused when this tiny 19-year-old promises to take care of the son who dwarfs him, but okay, he seems nice!

So like, if you assume that The Kiss never happened, and Jack moved on from Samwell, and instead of blossoming into a beautiful gay rose Zimbits turned into the mellow rose-hip of “I sure used to have a huge crush on him”, I think that eventually, Bitty would notice

Chowder is not actually super unsubtle all the time

Like he is actually good at keeping secrets and managing emotional problems!

He’s frequently mouthy and sarcastic and assertive and cocky

He has emotional depth and maturity and discretion and shit!

So if you follow the links in the first paragraph where I’m blaming other people for my Chitter addiction, they have this hilarious scenario going in fic where Chowder just casually admits that he would climb Bitty like a tree, and then just... goes back to living his life, like a sweet sunshine child of the San Francisco Bay he is.  For Chowder, admitting same-sex attraction isn’t a big deal.  He just does it.  And Bitty starts to be super aware of Chowder and Chowder’s, well, everything, and his repression starts to crumble like an oatmeal cookie.

(Where is Caitlin?  I don’t know. I have nothing against her, and in every other headcanon or even in other Chitter fic I’ve written she can be around and in a poly relationship with Chowder or whatever you want!  But right now Caitlin is Dame Not Appearing in This Fic. Which okay, I like her because she’s a girl, but I do have one tiny thing against her: I think the world would be awful if we all ended up with the first person we were really into in college.  So I am trying to swim against the tide of “50 years later they’re all with the same person they liked when they were 20″ by screwing with the popular fandom ships whenever I think it would suit the story. Drop me some femslash prompts and I’ll try to write more women to atone for writing Caitlin out.)

Anyway.  In this fic, Chowder has no reason not to be out about his relationship with Bitty, and anyway they get caught sneaking across the hall after like a week, so they’re out about it.  Bitty becomes team captain, Chowder is his right-hand man, and the SMH calls them “Dad and Dad”.  As in, “Put that shit away, Dad and Dad are coming.”

[garden-of-succulents]

I GOT THE BITTY/CHOWDER BUG.  IT’S CHITTER TIME.

Bitty's boyfriend is a true connoisseur of the blanket heap. He knows how important it is to layer properly for maximum coziness, and Bitty rewards it.  By the time he’s back with breakfast, Chowder has replaced last night’s sweaty topsheet with a fresh one, shaken out and re-laid the blankets, and moved his pillow stack up to the furthest side of the bed, so there’s room for Bitty to set down the breakfast tray before he climbs in.

Some of the newness and wonder has gone out of snow by the end of January, which makes coziness rituals feel even more important.  It’s all brown and grey and white and slush in Samwell right now, so Bitty made sure to stir the marshmallows into the hot chocolate and start them foaming before he put them on the breakfast tray, put swirls of whipped cream on the waffles with extra care, used powdered sugar instead of cinnamon.  These are the things he can control.  He revels in them, little details like Chowder’s fluffy bathrobe and his faint stubble.

“I think I figured out how Harvard is beating us,” Chowder says, shifting his laptop to make sure Bitty has room when he climbs back into bed.  “This right winger’s working really well with their D-men, I’ve got that play from the third period here.  Just look.”

Chowder takes his hot chocolate as he plays the tape for Bitty, running it through three times before he’s pointed out everything he thinks is important.  Bitty leans against the headboard with the plate of waffles in his lap, watching intently and savouring the warmth of the blueberries in their syrup and the melting coolness of the whipped cream.  He should get Chowder to present his findings to the team, he thinks; not too early to get people noticing his strategic smarts and leadership skills before they vote on a captain for next year, and Chowder’s his favourite to replace him for a lot of very good reasons.

“Okay, just wanted to show you before it all ran out of my head,” Chowder says, closing his laptop and slipping it between the bed and the wall.  He puts his own waffle plate in its place.  “You are too good to me, you know that?”

From over the rim of his hot chocolate Bitty observes, “I am fairly certain that’s not true,” as Chowder attacks the waffles.

This kind of winter morning, the Haus is a bit chill, so Bitty sinks beneath the heap of blankets before Chowder’s done breakfast.  When Chowder does finish, Bitty pokes his arms out to transfer the tray precariously onto the bedside table--yes, he’d be less likely to dump the mess of plates and cups on the ground if he sat up all the way, but then he’d also be exposed to the air even more.  So he settles the tray carefully, then rolls back over in bed--to find his boyfriend lying next to him, vibrating with energy.

For a minute Bitty tries to meet those bright eyes with equal seriousness, like a staring contest, but it doesn’t work; he cracks when Chowder grins, giving way to giggles, and Chowder grins victory and swims onto him to claim a triumphant kiss.

They understand the importance of these things: of blanket heaps, and brunch, of hot chocolate and marshmallows, and lazy morning makeouts.  It’s why they go together so well.

[garden-of-succulents]

Bitty/Chowder is like... the fluffiest ship in existence.  So 

a) why is everything I want to write for it so fucking porny?

b) Why don’t I have anyone to squee over Bitty/Chowder porn with?

[garden-of-succulents]

Chowder/Bitty smooching, ace!Chowder!

“Oh my gosh, this is, like, perfect,” Chowder said, holding the mini pie above his head and turning it over in his hands.  Little flecks of pastry fell onto his face; he giggled slightly and tried to brush them into his mouth with his sleeve.  “I’m at Samwell and I shut out Jack Zimmermann and I had vodka and you made me a pie.  I really just want to eat it right now, Bitty.  Like just take a bite out of it right here.  But won’t the rest of it fall out?”

Bitty looked up from his notebook with a smile.  “I can get you a fork if you put it back in the tin.”

Chowder frowned at the pie seriously, then said, “No, I’m gonna do it.”

After the first three bites he slid off Bitty’s bed onto the floor so that he understood gravity and its effects a little better.  Naturally the pie falls apart before he finishes eating it, so he ends up licking the wreckage off his hands before he crawls back onto the bed to flop down on his back.  Bitty’s not doing homework; he’s planning out menus and recipes.

“I’m so excited to be at Samwell,” Chowder babbled, “but I’m nervous too. Ransom said these girls yesterday were definitely flirting with us but I couldn’t tell at all and it’d be nice to find someone to hold hands with and kiss but if you find someone, won’t they definitely want to have sex?”  He rolled his head over to look at Bitty.  “I’m not sure I want to have sex.  It just doesn’t sound very nice.  But what if everyone does?  Isn’t college all about hooking up all the time?”

It made Bitty reach down to ruffle Chowder’s hair.  “Oh, honey.  Not everyone is having sex all the time.  You will definitely find someone to hold hands and smooch with.”

“But how do you know, Bitty?  Like, how do you know?  Did you find somebody?”

“Yes, I have kissed people at Samwell.  And not even had sex with any of them, so you do not need to worry.  That’s perfectly normal.”

“Oh.”  Chowder digested this, then looked at Bitty again.  “But did you want to have sex with them?”

Chowder and his questions made Bitty’s eye want to twitch sometimes.  “Well, some of them.  But I figure I’ll find somebody eventually.”

“Oh,” Chowder said sadly.  “I’d totally smooch you. You deserve it.  You baked me so much pie.”

Bitty leaned over.  Chowder’s eyes went very wide and a little panicked, and then crossed as he tried to figure out what was going on.  Bitty kissed the tip of his nose.  “Thank you, precious,” he said.

“Can I kiss you, Bitty?” Chowder blurted out.  “I just, I don’t mean... I just kind of want to.”

A blush bloomed across Bitty’s cheeks as he looked down, fidgeting with his notebook.  “Okay,” he said.

Chowder squirmed around onto his stomach, then scrambled up to sit on the bed.  He and Bitty nervously avoided eye contact in different directions while Chowder leaned in, supporting himself with one hand against the wall.  He kissed Bitty shyly, twice, and then once not so shyly at all; once like a soft curving handshake, like lips having something to say to each other, like heads in a dance.  “That was nice,” he said.

“Yeah,” Bitty said, blushing even harder.  “It was.”

“I like kissing,” Chowder said.  “I like kissing you.  I hope you find someone to kiss you all the time.”

“Yeah,” Bitty said, looking Chowder in the eye and smiling, soft and heartfelt.  “You too.  Somebody’s who okay with what you want.”

Chowder gave him another peck on the lips, as though to say, yes!!!, and then flopped down on the bed again, his head resting next to Bitty’s knee.

“Samwell’s gonna be swawesome,” he said.  “I just know it.”