It’s a Reverse Basket ◍ Part 4
⇝ Pairing: Yoongi x Reader
⇝ Genre: Fluff, Comedy, Angst
↳ Basketball AU, Crossdressing AU
⇝ Words: 4.5k
⇝ Summary: The goal has never been in your favor, and despite all your best efforts, you don’t think it ever will be. But that’s right when you finally get the chance to turn things around, to do things the way you’ve always wanted to and to go after what you truly love. However the problem isn’t if you can do it, it’s how much are you willing to do…?
⇝ Warnings: pg13 (please check out the disclaimer on the first part); none for this chapter
gif credit.
⇝ Previous Parts: Moodboard Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
⇝ Next Update: Friday, April 10
Light peeks through the curtains, illuminating the room and reflecting delicately onto your lids. Your brows pinch together, head still throbbing with fragments of pricking pain.
“Good morning.” Arching in the direction of the mellow voice, you see a young woman wearing a long white coat. She sits beside a desk, a smile on her features.
Your eyes gloss over, appearing to be stuck within a daze. “Your belongings are over there, in case you’re wondering.”
Aimlessly following the path in which she points, your phone, wallet and backpack are carefully tucked away near a white table. When you nod, she rises from her seat, heading over to the door with a few papers.
“I’ll be back.” And with those words, she leaves. You push yourself up, lining your back against the pillow behind you. Your pupils oscillate, mind boggling around until the prior events flow back to you piece by piece.
Reaching up, your hand meets with your forehead. There’s no escalated pain surging through your temples anymore, your feverish temperature now stabilized. Relief floods through you immediately, head lolling back against the pillow until you realize–
You collapsed.
In front of everyone, after all the team members had been announced….
An empty sigh passes through the seams of your lips, head descending down. Hauling yourself off the bed, you lean over to grab your things, hand grazing over your phone and wallet placed on the table.
Your brows contort, fingertips coming into direct contact with something sticking out of your wallet. Leaning closer, your hand encloses over the small slip of paper, noticing how it was gingerly tucked right beside your student card.
The words are messily scribbled against the flimsy page, but your eyes are practically racing when you take each one in. It’s instantly tossed away once you’re done, hands gripping onto the thick fabric of your backpack and hoisting it over your shoulders. The door swings wide open and your feet accelerate at a soaring speed.
The paper dangles down, caught up in the brisk air until it withers onto the ground. Left being right side up, the written string of letters is clearly visible.
Head over to the court if you’re really that serious.
***
Your breath heaves when you enter, a sheen of built up sweat trickling down your forehead and neck. It takes you a decent minute to discover the gymnasium is entirely deserted, the giant clock displayed up ahead alerting you that many hours had spun by.
The metallic hammering pulls you out of your thoughts right away, eyes coming into close contact with a basketball in the hands of the captain. He smiles at you – although there’s something that feels incredibly off about it, almost as if you had just walked into a gullible trap.
He throws the basketball.
Your bag crashes onto the ground, legs ascending and hands outstretched when you can spot it nearing you. Afraid that it’ll whizz straight by you again, you shut your eyes and clench your teeth, bracing for dear impact.
A soft thud is felt against your hands, the familiar rough texture practically screeching to you that you indeed did catch it.
Astonished, there’s wide smile on your lips when you glance up, four members suddenly surrounding you.
Your smile drops when you observe that they’re closing in, ironically right ahead of the basketball hoop.
Arms crossed behind his back and gaze narrowed, Yoongi steps out in front.
“If you’re here, then it’s clear to me that you wanted this opportunity.” He informs, tone sounding borderline amused; something you truthfully don’t know is a good thing, “Unfortunately for you though, I don’t like giving out second chances.”
That’s when he looks up, eyes meeting yours.
“So you’re going to have to prove it to me.”
A whistle sounds nearby and Yoongi steps away, four players simultaneously charging at you. Sucking in a harsh breath, you quickly spin around and avoid Hoseok, dribbling over to the left side. Jimin races over to block your shot to the hoop and a large thud slams against the ball in your hands from behind, the ball slipping through your fingers.
You grunt, legs sprinting over to Jungkook and attempting to keep up with his quickened pace. A sharp turn is enough to tell you that there’s three more players on your tail and drawing closer by the minute, so you know there’s only one thing you can do when Jungkook jumps to shoot.
You jump as well.
With some miracle, the ball is brutally slapped by your hand and strikes against the floor, rolling away until it meets someone else’s hands. Your legs ache as you glide over, watching Taehyung hastily dribble before bouncing it over to Jimin.
You intercept the interaction right away, a wince on your features when your arms have to painfully stretch to become a blockade. Thankfully, it lands in your hands, a step closer in your favour.
But that’s when you glance up.
The four of them create a wall together – hindering your chance to get by completely. Eyes darting over for a nimble second, you notice there’s a faint smirk on Yoongi’s lips, arms crossed as he watches you intently.
With a tick, you know there’s only two options left for you now. One – dribble your way through the maze of players and somehow hope that their cowering forms weren’t going to submerge you farther away from the basket.
Or two – shoot from here.
With a sharp intake of breath, you choose the latter.
The ball is propelled from your hands, tumbling towards the hoop. It hovers over the crowd of players, all eyes locked on to it’s every movement.
It bounces away, having descended successfully through the net.
A loud cheer echoes through the hollow room, the startled look on your face still not disappearing. It’s only when you feel a hand shaking you out of it that the fact comes to light, expression morphing into complete bliss.
When the four boys swarm around you with huge smiles, your eyes silently trace over to the captain retrieving the ball. He dribbles it away, pausing for a moment near you.
“Don’t be late for practice tomorrow.”
He leaves, muttering the words quietly and then exiting the court.
You don’t fail to miss the soft smile tugging on the corner of his lips.
***
“This calls for a celebration!!” Taehyung hollers when you enter your dorm, form brimming with excitement. A thunderous voice sounds far behind him, contently agreeing.
“Wait up for us!” Hoseok yells, rushing into the room opposite to yours alongside Jimin.
“You guys better hurry!” He turns to Jungkook, who’s now settled on the ground and rustling through some CDs. “What do we got?”
“Avengers, Star Wars,” A revolting look appears on his face, “Who put Lion King in here?”
Taehyung snatches it away, “Shush, it’s a classic!”
Jungkook sighs, “Why don’t we just ask Y/N?”
“Right! Y/N, what do you want to watch?”
“Oh– uh…” You hurriedly place your bag down, walking over to the two of them, “How about Lion King? I haven’t seen that movie in a while.”
You smile but Taehyung sends him a sneering grin, causing Jungkook to roll his eyes as he plugs the movie in.
“Not a single word.” Jungkook prides, settling down onto the couch. You and Taehyung join him, however the door comes slamming open, bundles of baked kernels tucked away in Hoseok’s arms.
“I brought snacks!” He proudly announces, Jimin appearing behind him and in the process of tugging on his shirt. They sit on the ground, a kernel accidentally rolling over onto the carpet.
“Oops…” Hoseok picks it up, but you don’t miss the threatening glare in Jungkook’s eyes. Hoseok seems to notice as well, because he hands over the popcorn to Jimin and places his hands on his hips.
“What? You’re the one that always complains when we don’t have enough.”
Jungkook doesn’t reply, instead he reaches over for a handful. Taehyung grabs some as well, disrupting some over to your hands too.
However, just as a piece enters your mouth, the flavour falls completely bland. You scrunch up your nose, facing Taehyung who holds a mutual sickened expression.
“You didn’t put in any salt or butter?!”
“Huh?” Hoseok darts over to Jimin confused, “You didn’t put in any salt or butter?”
Jimin pouts, “I thought you did...”
“I thought you did!” Hoseok exasperatedly groans, trudging over to your kitchen and glancing around, “Where do you people keep the salt and butter around here?!”
A kernel rolls over to ground, landing on the soft carpet near Taehyung’s feet. A prompt glare is sent in his way; yet he merely scoffs, a sneaky glimmer twinkling in his eyes.
“I don’t know, maybe ask the salty one here about it.”
Hoseok still appears confused but Jimin bursts out laughing, covering his mouth as more giggles continue to escape him. Jungkook rolls his eyes, appearing less and less amused when you simply smile, popping in a kernel into your mouth contently.
“Argh! Found it!” Hoseok rushes over, placing the items on the table and sitting down next to Jimin on the ground again. He suddenly looks up, a thought crossing him, “By the way, one of you needs to do the dishes. Your sink looks disgusting.”
As if on cue, Taehyung and Jungkook make eye contact, the words ‘not me!’ slipping out instantly.
“If you guys want, I can do them.” Although you had just thrown the offer out, you’re already rising up from your feet and start migrating closer to the kitchen.
“Ohh no, no, no.” Taehyung wiggles a finger at you, halting your steps, “I will do the dishes. You can sit down here and watch the movie because we are celebrating your addition to the team.”
You’re left stunned until Taehyung ushers you to sit down on the couch, already scooping out piles of dishes from the sink and stacking them to be washed. With a defeated sigh, you plant yourself back down onto the couch, eyes zeroing into the beginning of the movie.
The scene with Simba being raised to the rest of the Pride Rock plays, causing Hoseok and Jimin to sing out the background music even though they have no proper coherent knowledge of the lyrics. It becomes loud enough to mask over the movie though, Taehyung having to shout that he can’t hear anything over their rapturous voices.
As the movie progresses, everyone quiets down when the scene changes into Simba resting his head against Mufasa, silently wishing for his fallen form to wake up. Taehyung even manages to somehow join you, adorned in a rather pretty floral apron and a wet plate in his hand, soundlessly watching behind the couch.
Jimin sniffles and Hoseok hugs his bag of popcorn. Jungkook leans away and water unconsciously streams down your eyes.
Once the hyena’s finally show up though, Taehyung snaps away when he’s realized he’s left the water running in the sink and Hoseok screeches that he could have flooded the entire dorm. You giggle as Taehyung frowns, sending him a ‘do I really look like I would do something like that’ look and Hoseok rolling his eyes. By the time hakuna matata passes through, Hoseok is standing next to the TV dancing as Jimin cheers him on. Taehyung emerges from the kitchen with a spoon this time, singing along the lyrics with his mic as his deep voice echoes through the room. Jungkook remains on the couch, occasionally humming and swaying to the music with a lopsided grin.
You smile, eyes drifting over to all the members and being sincerely grateful that this was the team you were going to be playing with for the rest of the year.
***
The large expanse of the gym comes into view, two members already standing next to their captain and coach. One of them turns, his face familiar as he waves over to you.
“Guys! Over here!” Small dimples form at the corners of his cheeks when Hoseok widely smiles, the three of you hurriedly scampering over.
Yoongi looks up from Namjoon’s board for a moment, eyes briefly glancing before mumbling to the former that you were here. The man opposite to Hoseok curiously steps forward, hair dyed a bright bleach blonde and eyes brimming with fascination.
“Hi! I’m Jackson Wang from China!” He immediately blurts out, an infectious smile gracing his features. You reach out and shake his outstretched hand.
“Hi I’m Y/N…” You ponder why he stated where he was from so abruptly, but you shake it off to introduce the two members behind you, “This is Taehyung and Jungkook.”
Taehyung smiles and Jungkook gives him a nod, “You guys are from last year’s team, yeah?”
“They are, Hoseok and Jimin from last year are also joining us.” You reply and Jackson appears to be in awe.
“That is so freaking cool – is it weird if I ask for an autograph?” Taehyung quirks up an eyebrow and Jungkook goes blank, but thankfully Namjoon steps in.
“Oh! You’ve introduced yourselves.” He glances down at his clipboard, “We’re just waiting on four more members before we begin.”
“Namjoon, my man!” Jackson hugs him immediately, crushing the clipboard against his body simultaneously.
Namjoon sighs, “Nice to see you too, Jackson.”
Taehyung’s eyes dart back and forth, “You know each other?”
“Jackson was part of one of the old teams I coached for.”
Jackson hums, “I wanted to get into this year’s team because I knew Namjoon was coaching.”
Taehyung nods and there’s suddenly a flood of footsteps entering the gymnasium, more members joining your group.
“Sorry we’re late!” Hoseok immediately says, Jimin panting behind him and sinking onto the ground like he’s been running for miles.
Namjoon shakes his head, checking off their names when two individuals join in behind you. One of them almost reminds you of Yoongi, except he sports much shorter black hair and there’s a series of piercings looped all across his ears. When he turns and catches you staring at him, you instantly retract away your eyes – not realizing how much more intimidating he was with direct eye contact.
“Jaebum! Jinyoung!” Jackson pounces onto to them, smothering them with hugs that the two don’t seem to reciprocate as much. “Gosh, you guys took a century to come.”
“You could have woken us up.” Jinyoung snaps, a sigh escaping him when Jackson backs away with a pout, “If you’re awake and we’re all going to the same basketball meet, then wake us up too.”
Jaebum silently nods and you take a meek step forward, still trying your hardest not to be so frightened. “H-Hi… I’m Y/N…”
He stares at you for a mere second, before giving a delicate nod of his head. Your eyes widen in surprise and Jinyoung raises his hand, “I’m Park Jinyoung. Let’s all hope for a good season, hm?”
You nod with a kind smile, watching Hoseok and Jimin saunter over and introduce themselves. Once Namjoon and Yoongi scan around to see everyone present, Yoongi steps forward with his arms crossed.
“Alright, listen up. Before we start any practice, we’re going to begin with some training.” His eyes run over the entire room, as if analyzing everything about his team as individuals, “This training will compromise of many things, but will focus on strength, endurance and most important of all – stamina.”
You blink, a crease in between your brows as he continues, “We’ll be starting this by heading over to the building next door, and I hope after today’s session that most of you will realize the importance of this training and continue to do it on your own.”
“Is that understood?” There’s a collection of nodding heads coming from the audience before him and Yoongi smirks. “Good.”
He begins to head towards one of the far doors and everyone lightly jogs behind him, including you. Being right next to Taehyung, you crane your head and make eye contact.
“What is this training the captain is talking about?”
“Oh– it’s for improving our physical tolerance.” Taehyung explains, slowing down to the back of the group so he can talk properly, “He wants us to stay in shape while playing basketball.”
“I see… “ You mumble, a connection now forming, “And what about ‘doing it on your own’? Does he mean for us to get used to it?”
“Yep! He actually encourages us to do it throughout the session but between you and me…” He leans down closer to whisper, “You can get by from just training once or twice.”
You nod in acknowledgement, but then an arm brushes against yours on the other side.
“Teaching a new member your bad habits already?” Jungkook eyes Taehyung down but the latter scoffs.
“Hey! It gets tiring sometimes, okay? And besides,” Taehyung sneers, “not all of us are musclepigs.”
Jungkook glares at him and you slow down your pace, suspecting something was already brewing when they stare at each other. Catching a flash of grey and brown, Jimin kindly smiles when you teeter over to join him and Hoseok.
***
If you had originally assumed that arriving to the humongous gymnasium during the first meet was a magical experience, you had sure been kidding yourself when you enter the training facility.
Rows and rows of heavy machinery greet you, each one equipped with a thousand numbers that could be dialed up or down. There’s ones for improving speed or strength, gain or lose muscle, build up vigor or resilience. The list could possibly go on as you step into the facility, already noticing the abundance of individuals walking out with towels around their necks and bursting confidence written on their faces.
You harshly gulp when you enter a specific room, Yoongi scribbling down all your names onto a table and hanging it right beside the door.
“This will be to monitor your progress.” He explains, placing his pen down on the table, “You can get started on whichever machine you’d like to use, and I’ll come around to asses you.”
And with that, the entire group disperses. Feeling a tad confused and conflicted, you decide to simply stick around with Taehyung and Jungkook, hoping they could be adamant about showing you the ropes and eradicating the unsettling sensation in your stomach when you take in more alarming pieces of the facility.
However, when your eyes trace around to locate them, your jaw drops.
It had only been a mere second and it seems like the two of them are already so well versed with the environment, to the point where it looks like they’ve just walked into their own dorm. From the corner of your eye, Taehyung is already lying down on his back, bench pressing as if lifting a box of feathers. Jungkook is next to him, picking up two dumbbells and curling them up close, face frowning when there’s no resistance being created with them.
Your eyes follow one dumbbell by Jungkook’s feet, hand reaching out to lift it. Though it seems that the dumbbell actually manages to lift you instead; body being hurled onto the ground when you stare at it with wide eyes.
A sigh leaves you when you get up from the ground, hand massaging your already sore arm. Jungkook pauses his training, placing his dumbbells on the ground and hands a different one to you.
“Try this one.” With a nod, you take it from his hands and to your own surprise, you can actually keep it within your grasps.
Jungkook picks up the ones he was using before again, curling them up slowly as you follow along with your eyes, mimicking his gestures. When he nods, you let out a heavy exhale at finally being able to understand and catch up.
Although you’ve managed to keep up with a balanced pace, a deep frown settles on your features when you observe how much Jungkook and Taehyung are being able to lift. Your eyes then begin to roam around the gym, noticing how everyone was first off, really attuned to knowing what to do, but second off, able to pick up on the workouts much more swiftly in compared to you.
It’s a little bitter to acknowledge, but you do seem to agree with it when you notice that Jungkook’s given you the lightest weight from the collection, a tenth of what he’s lifting.
You’re a lot weaker in comparison.
Which means that you’re going to have to work immensely hard just to keep up with a team that’s reached a set standard.
You continue to work out with the rest, a little smile being drawn from you when Taehyung jumps off from the bench with a gigantic smile and exclaiming to Jungkook that’s he beaten his record – to which Jungkook retaliates by lifting him up and placing him on a treadmill so he beat it again with the bench press.
By the time Taehyung’s record is broken, Jimin comes over and takes his own turn, giggling as he watches Taehyung grumbling when he jogs. The commotion fails to let you notice a patch of maroon hair drawing closer to you, clipboard in his hand as he tiredly sighs.
“5.2?” He asks, eyes questioningly staring at Taehyung, “Not fast enough.”
The dial to Taehyung’s treadmill is turned exponentially up and he’s suddenly sent flying, legs rapidly trying to catch up to the pace. Yoongi moves over to see Jungkook’s weights, lips downturned when he hands Jungkook heavier ones. A glance at Jimin quiets down his giggles greatly, Yoongi gesturing for him to start working on strengthening his legs by getting down onto the ground and demonstrating some exercises.
You’re completely caught up in watching him work that once Yoongi heads over to you, it takes the abrupt blinking of your eyes to bring you back.
Straightening up, you expect him to immediately hammer you with instructions like he did with others, but to your surprise – Yoongi pauses.
He seems to stare at you for a decade before he clears his throat, not missing the muddled look residing in his eyes. Taking a glance at your weights, he gestures for you to hand it to him.
“This is a muscle trigger point.” He points to his shoulder, lifting up the weight, “You need to make sure you’re keeping a balance but also not causing too much tension on the muscle there.”
He hands the weight back to you, “It can lead to strain and sometimes damage.”
You nod, attempting to do as exactly as he told you but now discovering that the technique make it much harder to lift the weight. Yoongi instantly moves to straighten up your arm, but when you stare up at him, he falters away.
He clears his throat once again, “Keep practicing that for now. Later, do some crunches and go on the treadmill under speed 3.”
With that done, he leaves. Your eyes remain glued to his disappearing form and then moves to stare at the weights in your hand. It’s a little odd for you when you look around to seeing your fellow members struggle with their new tasks – Taehyung’s chest heaving like he’s going to be running out of oxygen soon, Jungkook’s face changing into the shade of cherries and Jimin wincing against his legs already, when you’ve been just shown how to pick up a light dumbbell and some simple additional exercises.
A frown mars your features but with a gentle sigh, you decide to just do as you’re instructed. Even though it’s still strange, you realize with time that the routine does challenge you when your muscles begin to tighten and there’s heavy strain on your arms in particular, but you find that it’s enough for you in particular and you wonder if it’s something that Yoongi’s already understood.
Once training finishes and the adrenaline pumping through your veins calms down, you gather your things and exit the facility with Taehyung and Jungkook. Aside from the lengthy workout you endured, you’ve noticed that all of them seem thoroughly exhausted as well – a fact that becomes even more well known when Taehyung spots a water bottle vending machine.
“I need one!” He exclaims, plating his face against the final glass as his breath ghosts over it. Rummaging through his pockets hurriedly, a sigh of defeat arises from him when the machine clearly needs coins and the plastic card in his hands is granted to be useless.
When he helpless stares at you and Jungkook with pleading eyes, you take out your wallet. Fingers scrummaging through the pockets as Taehyung eagerly buzzes, you’re left in dismay when you only have one coin with you.
“Sorry Tae…” You grimace, but he shakes his head and his eyes narrow down onto a different target.
There’s already reassurance tumbling out of his lips, “I’ll pay you back, I promise!”
“I didn’t bring my wallet.” Jungkook responds and Taehyung deflates, eyes longingly glancing at the water calling his name.
That’s when he catches it though, a faint glimpse that drives him haywire.
“No.” Jungkook simply states, however the man before him is incredibly persistent.
“Please!” Taehyung begs, “Please, please, please, please–“
“No Tae.” Jungkook curls his hands defensively around the plastic, keeping it close to him, “It’s mine.”
“It has water!” Taehyung protests, “You know – water! An essential resource for our survival!” He grabs onto Jungkook’s backpack, “I could die Jungkook!”
“You’re not going to die!” Jungkook objects, grabbing onto his water bottle with all his strength. You reach out, considering that if you interject that they’ll probably stop and come to matters with a solution, but you speak up way too soon.
The water bottle falls from Jungkook’s hands, splattering onto the ground.
Everyone freezes – you watching the water drench the ground in horror as Taehyung is still holding onto Jungkook, his expression the same as yours. You have to admit there’s a large amount of fear bursting inside of you when you try to catch sight of Jungkook’s expression, but to your surprise, there’s a giant pout on his features.
“Look at what you did now!” Jungkook crosses his arms, almost appearing to pull a tantrum when he faces away from Taehyung.
Taehyung though, merely whispers. “M-My water…”
You completely lost at what to do as you rapidly flicker your head between the two of them. Biting down on your lip, you think your prayers have been answered when an affectionate smile pops up into the scenario, form approaching the machine.
“Oh hey! Are you guys thirsty too?” Jimin questions, wet grey hair sticking to his forehead as he plunges his coins into the machine. Four bottles roll out from the bottom, Jimin collecting them into his arms and spinning around.
He smiles as he hands one to Taehyung, then Jungkook, then to you, “I had a lot of change I needed to get rid of.”
Taehyung stares at the man as if he had seen a pure angel appear before him, arms immediately engulfing Jimin, “My rescuer!”
Jimin giggles and even Jungkook seems to turn around at that, “Thanks.”
You place a very grateful hand on his arm, voice coming out breathless, “Thank you so much Jimin.”
He sends you a wink that makes you wonder if he had perhaps overheard the conversation beforehand, but you don’t seem to mind when there’s a giant boxy grin on Taehyung’s lips as he chugs down the bottle and a faint smile looped on Jungkook.
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15 pieces of childhood lodged in my heart
(snapshots and fleeting memories from the years i spent in delta)
1-
the top of alex fraser bridge was like the top of a mountain, where the whole world was spread before you. clusters of skyscrapers glittered gold and faraway peaks glowed purple, and in the distance, almost lost to the horizon, the vague outline of vancouver beckoned like a dream
2-
driving back to delta over the bridge, mt baker loomed out of the clouds, out of the sky, snow-white, sky-blue, shrouded in fog and mystery. its flower-speckled meadows and pristine blue lakes once filled the camera roll of my phone
3-
the 340 was the bus that everyone took to escape the bland monotony of delta in search of excitement elsewhere — burnaby, richmond, and, perhaps, if one disposed of enough time and such an affinity, downtown vancouver. we sat, fatigued and half-asleep in the sun, on the bench plastered with local advertisements, squinting down 64th avenue in hopes of catching a glimpse of the bus turning the corner. someone always announced in a resigned voice that the bus would be late by twenty minutes
4-
the intersection of 72nd street and 120th avenue was always busy, always crowded, always full of groups of pedestrians milling impatiently at the edge of the curb, waiting for the red light to change to green. the flow of cars never ceased, not even in the darkest hours of the night
5-
metrotown and oakridge centre and guildford mall offered hours of excitement and exploration, but they were usually too far and so we were left to content ourselves with the local mall. a small handful of stores and a tiny food court tucked away at the end, right next to the walmart that used to be a zellers. the local high school students claimed that only the chinese food joint was worth mentioning
6-
for nine entire years, i followed the same path from my house to my elementary school and then high school. wade road curved gently towards 120th street at the end of the road, nicholson road sloped downwards, always slippery in winter. lyon road was the longest of the three, and before i have covered even half of the distance, the roofs of seaquam came into sight
7-
the houses in the neighbourhood were familiar, filled with faces that i have known over the years. down the street, the girl who taught me to play badminton against the older boys, even though they were faster and stronger than i was. on that street corner, the girl whose height my parents always marveled at. on this street, the boy whose older brother once stared at us, confused, from his kitchen. our next door neighbours, the old couple who grew tomatoes in the backyard and whose granddaughter was in my fourth-grade class. across the street, the family friends who smiled whenever they heard me practice piano in my living room. and of course, the girl in whose room i spent innumerable nights in elementary school and high school, whose front garden was always immaculately maintained and full of blooming flowers
8-
the walk from my house to school never took longer than ten minutes in the morning, but always managed to take an hour after school, because we stood on the sidewalk facing her house, and lost ourselves in endless conversation. it was amazing how we never ran out of things to talk about. “time flies,” she remarked. “flap flap flap,” i added. we burst into laughter, full of carefreeness and joy
9-
the big house at the end of the street with a four-car garage, a basketball hoop in the driveway, and a giant pool in the backyard. many of us grew up there, not only because of the weekly piano lessons in that warm, carpeted room, but also because of the kindhearted, smiling woman whom we called ‘auntie,’ who baked us cookies and threw christmas parties and welcomed us into her family
10-
the food options weren't too great, but there were still a few restaurants worth going to. the japanese restaurant near london drugs and the bank, where i ate lunch with a boy for the first time. the japanese restaurant across the street, where i spilled secrets i maybe shouldn’t have, and where we shared childhood stories in whispered voices over sushi rolls and miso soup. down the road, a short drive away, ihop and denny’s, where we had giant group breakfasts before we drove to school, just in time for our first class
11-
chapters, the library, and the theatres were all conveniently located next to each other. a&w’s, starbucks, and tim hortons were within a five-minute walking distance. studying, playtime, entertainment, and dinner, all without leaving the block. we all mourned when the chapters closed
12-
sungod recreation centre was where everyone gathered on the weekends. the badminton courts were always full, players sat on the bench and awaited their turn, anxiously watching birdies hurtle through the air, minds already racing to the next tryout dates. we gathered in groups of three or four at the end of the night, waiting for someone’s mom or dad to come pick us up. our collections of half-crumpled paper admission wristbands, blue dolphin and yellow star designs fading with time and wear, steadily grew
13-
everyone’s backyard was a lush forest at the edge of kittson parkway, named the watershed. the trails abounded with hikers, dog walkers, joggers, horseback riders. towering trees loomed over the trail, leaves splitting the sunlight into a thousand shattered fragments. a meadow at the heart of the park provided views of the cities beyond and offered benches engraved with the names of those who once walked these trails
14-
a family of starlings once made their home in my neighbour’s attic. in the spring, the baby birds ventured out for the first time and learned to spread their wings. woodpeckers swooped from the top of the trees which they claimed for their own. robins pulled worms from the ground, squirrels stole sunflower seeds from the bird feeder, raccoons perched precariously at the edge of the birdbath and shoved their paws into the water. the next day, we found the birdbath lying on its side on the ground
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i once borrowed a telescope from an astronomical society because i wanted to see jupiter and venus. i memorized all the constellations and all the stars, and learned the stories behind them. i learned to find orion in the winter, and lyra, cygnus, and aquila in the summer. i traced out the twinkling shapes of ursa major and ursa minor against the dark skies, and found in them the same comfort that i found in the stuffed bears lying on my bed
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75 days after Maria, this is life in St. Croix
(CNN)The sound of rattling generators fill Tarik McMillan's ears when he wakes up.
The noise is all around him, a mix between a car engine and a really big blender.
On St. Croix, an island where many places still don't have power, the diesel generators in his neighborhood rumble through the night.
He walks to the kitchen and greets his grandpa, who's boiling water on a propane stove to make coffee. Without power, the coffeemaker is a museum piece.
It's been 75 days since Hurricane Maria hammered the US Virgin Islands, and although the buzz of daily life is returning, the storm's ghost hovers over everything.
Power remains out for more than 60% of the territory. On St. Croix, the largest of the islands, only about a fourth of residents -- known as Crucians -- have electricity.Many homes still have no roofs. Cell networks are spotty.
This is the new normal for McMillan and the islands' other residents as they negotiate their daily lives. There's a gigantic line on their calendar -- before Maria, and after. Almost nothing about the two is the same.
Morning coffee
Three days before Maria made landfall, McMillan, 25, went to stay with his grandfather. At the time, the 76-year-old was still recovering from surgery. McMillan didn't want him facing the Category 5 hurricane alone.
Since the storm, life has slowed to a crawl. TV isn't an option. So McMillan has found new ways to keep busy. He exercises. He reads.
He also got a dog -- a pit bull mix -- and takes it for walks around the block, noting the hurricane damage to his neighbors' homes. Some of the houses he had never noticed, because before Maria hit he never walked around his neighborhood.
"There isn't much talking," he says. They just wave.
On the road
By 11:30 a.m., it's time for McMillan to head to work. He climbs into his Ford Escape and drives from Christiansted.
Heavy traffic isn't a problem like it was during the weeks right after Maria, when the islands' governor imposed curfews to allow emergency crews and utility workers to do their jobs without interruptions.
But he's careful. Many stoplights still aren't working. And some drivers play "chicken" with each other at intersections to see who'll go first.
All around, McMillan sees the way Maria has rearranged the landscape.
"There's not much that stands out right now," he says. "Everything feels like it's been this way for a very long time."
He passes gas stations with crumbled walls. A bushy field across from a graveyard is now a dumping ground for broken branches and battered tree trunks.
Everywhere, bright, blue tarps double as temporary roofs.
A silver sculpture, with a little-known story about the slave trade in the Caribbean, no longer stands upright on the grounds of one of the island's two public high schools.
Further to the west, the grounds that host the island's annual agriculture fair remain in disrepair. The hangar-like buildings, usually filled with locally grown crops, no longer have roofs. The yellow, wooden booths where vendors sold dishes lie crumpled.
"It looks like a giant had a temper tantrum," McMillan says.
The fair has been a St. Croix tradition for 46 years. There won't be one next year.
At work
McMillan works part-time at the Boys & Girls Club as a youth counselor. In the days after the storm, he helped salvage materials and clean up debris from the club's uninhabitable building in Christiansted.
He's lucky to have a job.
So many don't. More than 1,000 people in the US Virgin Island's tourism industry, islanders' bread and butter, remain out of work.
At the Boys & Girls Club, McMillan helps teens with homework and tries to keep them out of trouble.
Some of the kids don't really want to talk about the storm.
"Sometimes kids in general blur the line between resilience and denial," he says. "People get so busy they forget to deal with the emotional stuff until it shows up as a different behavior later."
Since the storm, the number of students he mentored had dropped. Maria caused an exodus of islanders to the US mainland.
Resident descibes Maria aftermath in St. Croix
The students who remain rotate through school buildings that are still standing in four-hour blocks -- meaning they no longer get a full day of school.
At the Boys & Girls Club, they play basketball on a rebuilt court donated this year by former NBA player Rakeem Christmas, a St. Croix native.
Maria snatched away chucks of the court's tiled surface, leaving bone-jarring patches of concrete underneath.
Man on St. Croix: I'd rather be back in Iraq
Two weeks ago, McMillan started a temporary stint with FEMA as a crisis counselor. He'll be tending to residents who sorely need it as they deal with the stresses of post-Maria life.
"There are many complications associated with the aftermath of the storm in addition to not having power," he says. "There are elderly people who were not able to apply for certain services. Some that are living in homes that are mold infested. Living alone. No generator."
There's not much he can do about their circumstance, McMillan says. But he can offer them a platform to share their feelings.
Nights at home
On many evenings, McMillan gets home just as the sunlight starts to fade. He tries to avoid the pitch blackness that descends in many areas without powered street lamps.
About 6 p.m., he and his grandfather flip on their generator, adding to the rumble throughout the neighborhood.
When he cooks on the propane stove, it's usually rice and beans. This is a step up from the bland cheese tortellini ready-to-eat meals he had in the chaotic first days after Maria. He'd spice them up with Adobo seasoning.
McMillan never saves much of whatever he cooks. On most days, the refrigerator only cools food for about four hours and leftovers won't last beyond lunchtime the next day.
It's not ideal, but there's grace in the knowledge that McMillan and his granddad, unlike hundreds of others, don't have to buy ice every day to cool their food and drinks.
Sometimes McMillan will talk on the phone with his brother Biko, 21, who lives in Texas. Before Maria, the close-knit brothers could easily chat for an hour. Now they have to cut their talks short before they lose the signal or McMillan's phone dies.
Before he heads off to bed, he turns his generator off to save on gas and money.
He drifts off to sleep with the sounds of diesel generators around him.
A rare outing
The other day, to boost his spirits, he went to the movies when the island's only theater screened "The Foreigner." He loves Jackie Chan.
"For a brief moment, I forgot that we were in post-Maria," McMillan says. "It felt like a normal night going to the movies."
But even in the confines of the theater, the reality of their daily struggles intruded.
Before the movie was an ad for a local telecom. A pitchwoman said the company was working to restore services to the crippled islands.
"She just shattered my dream; shattered my normal moment," he says.
For he knew that after the credits started rolling, he'd be returning to a home without electricity, no promise of reliable cell service and an island that he and thousands of other Crucians barely recognize.
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