#noisy dracula escape

[googleplaysore]

A selection of escape games from JRK Games.

[mirkwoodmunson]

lovie!!! i cannnot stop thinking about clumsy eddie! - we all saw his goofy lil run, there aint no way he doesnt get clumsy in the height and loss of his own feelings

SO- what if eddie and reader get lost in kissing each other in the kitchen or on the way to his room, and eddie knocks them into walls, corners, side; they stumble around; and its all giggly and cute-

wow-

yEAH WOW 🤩🤩

because especially earlier on — after he first gets to experience you, you in his bed — he’s still learning how to handle you, how to handle himself with you, because god help him eddie can’t help but get all excitable and giddy and eager when he has you in his arms making those sounds you make.

when he sneaks up on you in the kitchen, distracted by the bag of popcorn rotating in the microwave, you’re thankful wayne has left for his shift as you shriek over the cacophony of his cackles, fingers tickling into your sides as he pulls you into him and blows raspberries against the back of your neck.

“ED WHAT THE FUCK!!”

“YOOOOU’LL NEVER ESCAPE MEEE!”

lord, he was on one tonight; scary movies always got him worked up.

he rotates and corners you as you squeal, the only thing loud enough to match your combined laughter is the rapid popping coming from the microwave — though you’ve already completely spaced on it, thanks to your feral boyfriend, who is now holding your cheeks in his hands and peppering noisy, sloppy wet kisses all over your face as you half-heartedly shove him away, feigning disgust.

“eeewwww not the kisses! not the wet kisses!” you try bringing a splayed hand between your faces, clamping it over eddie’s mouth, but he just growls and smooches into it, eventually nipping down on the skin between your thumb and index finger.

“wha? y’don’ li’e my kishesh??” he mumbles around your flesh, giving you the puppy eyes that make your heart flutter.

“nooooo not those kisses,” you whine.

he drops your hand like a dog dropping a stick and smirks, ducks his head and brushes his lips over yours, ghost of a breath fanning across them and making you shudder as you grin.

“like this?” eddie asks.

“mmmm… getting there,” you offer, sarcasm lacing your words but you can’t help the blush taking over your cheeks, giggling softly.

nudging his nose along yours he snorts and then quickly pecks your lips.

“how ‘bout that?”

“sooooo close.”

eddie rests palms on your hips, slides them around behind you and pulls you in by the small of your back, smiling all the while as he takes his time now to take your bottom lip between his, running his tongue over it as he kisses you so sweetly, so gently it makes you sigh pleasantly against his mouth, relaxing into him.

and then he bites you. of course. he latches his teeth onto your lip in a firm pinch, clasping you to him and growling as you yelp and whine and bat his shoulder.

“ooww eds, staaaahp!”

“i vaant to suck your blooood!” he dramatically lifts his head and then drops it, nibbling and kissing into your neck — that and the awful dracula imitation sending you into a fit a giggles and squeals as you lean into the attention. it made up for the pinched lip, and you didn’t mind the warm shiver down your spine as he nipped and kissed and breathed against the sensitive skin.

“oh nooo, nooo! the big scary vampire got me!” you swoon playfully, going a little limp in his arms as he laughs. “i hope he doesn’t steal me away to his lair!” you dramatically splay a hand against your forehead, really playing into the damsel role. eddie can’t help but laugh as you do so, goofy grin stubbornly staying put as he tries to play evil.

“I THINK—!” he can’t help a snort and you drop your head against his shoulder, both of you shaking with silent laughter. “I THINK I WILL STEAL YOU AWAY TO MY LAIR!!” you throw it back again with a wheeze at that, and eddie breathes laughter into you as he kisses you.

still holding you to him he begins to walk backwards out of the kitchen, stumbling a little as neither of you can keep from laughing, keep from kissing in between the giggles. in your distracted states, eddie accidentally steps on your toes and you yelp, the surprise and effort to quickly move his foot away making him stumble even further, backwards into the hallway where his back collides with the adjacent wall, making your surroundings rattle. you fall into him and he pulls you up into another red-faced, breathy kiss as you can hardly hold yourselves together, guts starting to ache with your amusement.

you snake hands up his front to grasp fistfuls of his shirt, pulling him into you hungrily as now it’s your turn to bite, nipping at his lips before trailing south to mar his jawline. the laughter gets softer, breathier, but you’re still giggling as you pull him away from the wall and guide him further down the hall, lips and teeth still marking his skin.

the hungrier you get, however, eddie does doubly so, and without even realizing he has you panting softly as his hands roam up your shirt as you lead him, up your soft sides to hold you at the dip of your spine and pull you closer, closer so he can briefly press himself against you and tease what you’re doing to him.

“mmmyour lair’s’too far away, mr. vampire,” you mewl against him, faltering in your step slightly which prompts eddie to halt you and press you back into the wall, snorting even as he kisses you till you’re out of breath.

“good thing i’m, like, really fucking fast,” eddie all but growls, and before you have time to react he’s attempting to hoist you up by the backs of your thighs, just under your rear, pulling you up into him as you yelp with the loss of footing. your arms lock around his neck as you bury laughter into the crook of his neck, holding onto him for dear life as he tries to scurry away with you.

“MINE! MINE FOREVER!!” he’s cackling and you’re practically shrieking with giggles, bouncing in his arms with each step, clinging to him tight.

and far be it from eddie to watch where he’s going, keep track of his footing as he carries you, as when he thinks he’s reached the fully closed door to his bedroom, what he’s actually reached is the partially closed door to his bedroom — and when eddie leans back into it for balance, he finds it’s completely thrown out the window as you both stumble and fall backwards into his room.

the door slams open with the force, and eddie squeezes you to him as he tumbles backwards, shielding you from the fall against his chest as he grunts with the force of it. a cacophony of chaos and yet the two of you are still dying with laughter there on the floor of eddie’s room, a shuddering pile of wheezes and gasps and snorts.

eddie holds your cheeks and lifts your head, checking you over while you’re nearly in tears with glee.

“sh-shit! shit! y-you okay babe?? speak to me!! speak to me y/n, tell me you’re alright!!” he wails with increasingly sarcasm-laden dramatics and squeezes your cheeks. you sputter with giggles as your lips are compressed by his palms, unable to even try to answer as you’re wracked with all-consuming amusement. because eddie is nothing if not all-consuming.

down the hall in the kitchen, the microwave starts to beep, while from eddie’s room the sounds of kisses and laughter give it the finger.

[0nelittlebirdtoldme]

Whumptober 2022 Masterlist 🖤🦇

31 x 850 words whump oneshots for Harkula, Jonathan Harker/Dracula, all links below

Oh my God, guys, we did it! 31 oneshots, 26.350 words later, and we managed to get all of Whumptober done for this year! It was my first time participating and an amazing feeling to be able to finish this challenge successfully and with so much support from you! Thank you for everyone who read along, and even left me a kudo or comment every once in a while! You were a huge motivation on powering through and even with a little hang up in the middle it was a great time! So thank you again!

Link to the series

Daily Prompts:

No 1: More Skin Than Necessary A LITTLE OUT OF THE ORDINARY Unconventional Restraints E, NSFW, BDSM, No Safeword

No 2: Entirely Unjustified NOWHERE TO RUN Cornered  | Confrontation M, Mild NSFW, Dub Con Touching

No 3: Inside Your Chest A HAIR'S BREADTH FROM DEATH "Say Goodbye" | Impaled M, Injury, Blood, Near Death Experience

No 4: Piece of Paper DEAD ON YOUR FEET Waking Up Disoriented M, Injury, Domestic Violence, Psychological Torture

No 5: Bloodied Body With Red Eyes EVERY WHUMPEE’S NEEDS Blood Loss | + Day 14 Prompt: Failed Escape M, Injury, Violence, Animal Attack, Blood, Broken Bones

No 6: Simply Not Possible PROOF OF LIFE “I’ve got a pulse” M, Minor Injury, Razor, Implied Suicide Attempt

No 7: Prongs Against the Lock THE WAY YOU SHAKE AND SHIVER Shaking Hands | Silent Panic Attack M, Mild NSFW, Non-Con Touching, Threats of Rape/Non-Con

No 8: Nothing But the Smell EVERYTHING HURTS AND I’M DYING Stomach Pain | Back from the Dead M, Sickness, Starvation, Mild Self Harm, Locked Up In Prison Cell (Mild Claustrophobia?)

No 9: A Dream Just Like a Nightmare THE VERY NOISY NIGHT Caught in a Storm M, Heavy Angst, Depression

No 10: Cat o’ Nine POOR UNFORTUNATE SOULS Whipping E, Injury, Violence, BDSM, No Safewords

No 11: Just a Train Ride Away “911, WHAT’S YOUR EMERGENCY?” Sloppy Bandages | Self-Done First Aid M, Injury, Mild Blood, Dicussion of Possible Death/Suicide

No 12: The Sound of Violin Strings WHAT COULD GO WRONG? + Alt Prompt: Sensory Overload M, Very Mild NSFW

No 13: Something Like Awareness CAN’T MAKE AN OMELETTE WITHOUT BREAKING A FEW LEGS Dislocation M, Injury, Mild Violence

No 14: Let's Find Out DIE A HERO OR LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO BECOME A VILLAIN Desperate Measures M

No 15: Right to Know EMOTIONAL DAMAGE Lies M, Mild Violence, Mentioned Minor Character/Child Death

No 16: Please Don't (Do This) NO WAY OUT Mind Control  E, NSFW, Non-Con

No 17: Swim Against the Current HANGING BY A THREAT Breaking Point | Stress Positions | + Day 29 Prompt: Sleep Deprivation M, Mild Injury, Torture

No 18: Warming to His Skin LET’S BREAK THE ICE M, Sickness

No 19: Broken Wings ENOUGH IS ENOUGH Repeatedly Passing Out M, NSFW, Non-Con, Injury, Violence, Choking

No 20: Shouldn't Feel the Cold IT’S BEEN A LONG DAY Fetal Position M, NSFW, Attempted Non-Con

No 21: A Few Stolen Kisses FAMOUS LAST WORDS “You’re safe now.”  M, Implied Sexual Assault

No 22: Eating Away PICK YOUR POISON Toxic | + Day 21 Prompt: Coughing up Blood M, Sickness

No 23: And Pray for Mercy AT THE END OF THEIR ROPE Forced to Kneel  E, NSFW, Non-Con Voyerism, Exhibitionism

No 24: A Pebble FIGHT, FLIGHT OR FREEZE Blood Covered Hands | “I don’t want to do this anymore.” M, Minor Character Death

No 25: Pretty Mouth SILENCE IS GOLDEN Lost Voice M, Past Non-Con, Mild Violence, Injury

No 26: Belly of the Beast NO ONE LEFT BEHIND Separated | + Day 12 Prompt: Cave In M, Claustrophobia

No 27: Context Clues PUSHED TO THE LIMIT Muffled Screams | + Alt Prompt: Confused and Dazed M, NSFW, Non-Con Somnophilia

No 28: Seven Hours IT’S JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG Anger Born of Worry  M, Cheating

No 29: Walk For Me WHAT DOESN’T KILL ME… Defiance E, Violence, Injury, Broken Bones

No 30: Dim the Lights NOTE TO SELF: DON’T GET KIDNAPPED Manhandled | Hair Grabbing | “Please don’t touch me.” E, NSFW, Dub-Con

No 31: Worth It A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL Comfort M

[dontasktheradiodemon]

Snake Bite

Chat log: Alastor learns to dab, Sir Pentious bites Alastor, and a couple of lonely old villains reluctantly talk about feelings and friendship.

If the read more doesn't work for you and you've gotta see this WHOLE LONG CHAT LOG on your dash, 1) you're probably on mobile, and 2) I am very very sorry, it's tumblr's fault and I did what I could.

Sir Pentious

Pentious is waiting outside the Hotel in HIS realm, he's out back in the garden and pacing... well. As well as a snake can pace. He's occasionally slithering in a circle.

Alastor

Alastor's practically scrubbed his skin raw in the shower; he's brushed his teeth until he's numb to the taste of artificial mint; he's picked a bow tie out of the ones Angel gave him—one of the red-and-gold ones designated for "sparkly douchebags" with the matching rose-shaped pin; and he's left something like a will with Rosie, along with a note to put it into effect if she hasn't heard from him by Monday.

He doesn't know what to expect.

He knows biting is going to be involved. He knows Sir Pentious wanted him to clear his schedule, with no indication of how long he was supposed to clear it for. Everything else is a mystery. Interpreting Sir Pentious's words literally, he's going to get bitten, writhe around for a while in excruciating pain, and then go home.

But knowing Sir Pentious—knowing his own—it might be a plot to disable Alastor so Sir Pentious can gloat over him for an hour before taking off his head with an exterminator's blade. And knowing the population of Hell in general, it might all be a euphemism for something far more salacious that he was simply expected to assume. All he knows for sure is that Sir Pentious is going to be very close, and aside from that it's going to be very unpleasant.

He could have asked for clarification. But asking for clarification would imply that his answer would change depending on Sir Pentious's.

It won't.

So here he is. Painfully clean, absolutely clueless, braced for anything, looking around the lobby, and realizing he's actually braced himself for anything EXCEPT the possibility that he might be stood up completely.

A few minutes after one, he sends out a few shadows as espionage—to Sir Pentious's room, to the boiler room, to the hotel's public areas—and finally, relieved, heads to the garden. He wasn't expecting outside. Maybe Sir Pentious wants to show off his big victory over the great Radio Demon.

When Alastor finally sees him, by way of greeting he calls out, "So how DOES one perform a 'dab'?"

Sir Pentious

Pentious awaited him in the garden, merely to avoid the eyes of that Weird Cat and the others who hung around the Hotel. The outside was brighter, and provided much more ominous lighting. Upon seeing Alastor and hearing his voice, he perked up quite suddenly, hood raising.

The question gets a scoff out of him.

"THE DAB? YOU DON'T KNOW??? IT'SSS LIKE THISS!" Stretching one arm out to the right, he bends his left at the elbow, and dunks his head towards the bend in his arm, holding the pose for at least three seconds.

Alastor

"Like this?" He copies the gesture, a mirror image of Sir Pentious's. A new weapon in his arsenal. "Ha. Like Dracula trying to hide from the sun." He plays a sizzling bacon-in-a-frying-pan sound, like vampire skin burning in the day.

Sir Pentious

Pentious claps his hands together, clearly amused.

"YESSS, JUSSST LIKE THAT! THEY HATE THAT ONE THE MOSSSST."

Alastor

The applause sends a jolt through his chest that he studiously ignores. "I'll add it to my catalogue of torture techniques."

He'd stopped walking far enough away from Sir Pentious that they're out of arm's reach of each other but close enough that they can talk at a normal volume—he wants to get so much closer and stay so much farther away, and this is the point where the impulses barely balanced out. Doing his best not to sound as awkward as he feels, he says, "So, speaking of Dracula..." He spreads his arms: here I am, ready and willing. "Were you planning on having this bite out here? Fine weather for it."

Sir Pentious

Pentious eyes him--he's happy with this distance, too. Satisfied, though, he wants to get closer too... his fangs ache a little, watch the other spread his arms. Yes, they had agreed upon that... At the time, he really didn't think that Alastor would agree. And now here they were! His head darts around some, the cobra looking him over.

"YOU AREN'T GOING TO TRY TO SSSLITHER OUT OF THISSS, ARE YOU, DEEREST ALASTOR?"

Alastor

The jolt is replaced by something more like a knife at the punny term of endeerment. He thinks he kept his wince off his face, but he's not totally sure. He lets his arms drop. "If I was going to be a coward, I would have gotten it over with before agreeing to meet and wasting both our time. I even dressed up for the occasion." He tilts his head, calling attention to his new bow tie.

The trophy Sir Pentious is showing off in his own attire hasn't escaped his notice.

Sir Pentious

"AH, I NOTICED. SSO HAVE I."

He pulls on the bow-tie gift from Alastor, truly VERY smug about it.

"THEN HOLD SSSSTILL..." He moved closer, quite suddenly--the rapid and threatening striking of a snake, his tongue flicking as he was mere inches away from the other.

Alastor

Alastor's eyes widen, he leans back, and his hand flies halfway up to his throat; and then he freezes. Damn. So much for acting completely unflappable.

Sir Pentious would enjoy seeing him flinch, at least.

So. Outside it is. Sir Pentious is probably hoping half of Hell will hear him make the Radio Demon scream.

Alastor completes the motion of his hand up to his throat, but only to undo his tie and fold down his high collar. When was the last time he'd been this close to Sir Pentious? Alastor can see individual scales on his face. He forces himself to make eye contact, offers a wan smile, and says, "Ready when you are."

Sir Pentious

He certainly does enjoy it.

His tongue flicks again, the appendage briefly touching the other's cheek. He didn't MEAN anything weird by it, but he certainly got a scent of him.

Pink hellish slitted eyes focused on the other, and he opened his mouth, baring those enormous fangs. Not yet dripping with venom, but oh the threat was there... Not allowing for anymore hesitation, he lunged--SINKING his fangs into Alastor's neck, deep and piercing.

Alastor

Alastor's eyes automatically squeeze shut as Sir Pentious licks him, his breath freezing. Before he has a chance to process the what the hell that means—

He gasps in sharply, a noisy crackling sound, as Sir Pentious's fangs sink in; but the gasp itself is buried under the sound of his voice stuttering across several stations, bursts of overlapping songs—a few incoherent notes of "Ah, Sweet Mystery of Life" and " Snake Eyes" and "Black Snake Moan." The pain from the bite alone is excruciating. Focusing. Focusing him primarily on the fact that Sir Pentious's face is pressed between Alastor's shoulder and his throat.

Sir Pentious

Pentious didn't really know what to expect upon sinking his fangs in, but the radio sounds should have been first on his guess list. It was definitely jarring to hear them so close to his head. Pentious places his hands on both of Alastor's shoulders, now digging his claws into his suit. Just claw him up! Why not!!!

At this closeness, it was all too easy to hear that raspy, human like breathing that cobras made. Like he was going to devour the Radio Demon whole.

Alastor

If Sir Pentious wants to take a strip of Alastor's throat with him when he pulled back—hell, if he wants to take Alastor's whole shoulder—Alastor isn't going to complain. He has to bite his lower lip hard enough to make it bleed to fight the urge to bite Sir Pent back—he's RIGHT THERE, it would be SO EASY to taste his blood—but that would be the end of this trust exercise.

At times it's struck Alastor that Sir Pentious's hissing sounds more than passingly close to a radio's static—and that's even more evident now, hearing his breathing like a rush of wind over a microphone, blowing over his neck. Alastor tries to steady his stuttery station-jumping breath. He leans into the pain cutting up his shoulders and curls his claws into the fabric at the waist of Sir Pent's jacket.

Sir Pentious

He can taste Alastor's blood, and it fills him with madness.

Pentious draws back, blood coating his fangs, as he holds the other up.

"HHMMM.... YOU REALLY DIDN'T MOVE. HAD YOU TRIED, I WOULD HAVE INJECTED YOU WITH MY VENOM!!!"

... But also, the lack of trying to escape, of trying to turn this into some sick broadcast... It resonated with the inventor. Pentious looked over his former ally, and frustration filled his gaze. Frustration and longing.

"... Why couldn't you have ssstayed?"

Of course, this wasn't the same Alastor. Not his own, but... whatever. A moment of vulnerability, just one.

Alastor

Alastor leans longingly after the retreating fangs before catching himself and straightening back up.

At the question, for a moment, his smile almost cracks. His brows draw closer, the corner of his bloody mouth twitches. When he replies, the constant distortion overlaying his voice dies. He almost sounds like a person. "Because I'm a coward."

He didn't mean to say it. He would never have said it under any other circumstances, but he's dizzy and lightheaded and euphoric from the pain and the close contact, and sick guilt he's spent over half a century trying to suppress is buzzing in his chest—and he's said it now.

Sir Pentious

The admission causes Pentious' hood to flare out--whatever he was expecting to hear then, well, just as before, it completely caught him off guard. He couldn't take it at face value, he couldn't trust him. His hand immediate shoots to Alastor's neck, grabbing him and pulling him closer.

"ARE YOU MOCKING ME, ALASSTOR? TELLING ME WHAT YOU THINK I'D WANT TO HEAR??? YOU??? A COWARD??? YOU MUSSST THINK ME A FOOL!!!"

Not that it sounded any which way! But... Pentious was angry to hear it, all the same. It's like he wanted the other to deny it, he wanted him to make up some sort of joke and play him for a fool. He wanted an excuse to tear him apart--but hearing this vulnerability in return put a sense of mortality in him he hadn't known in so, so long.

He'd been betrayed by his only friend, after all, and the serpent struggled so much in trying to make any.

It had been years since then, but still... It hurt him in a way he hadn't thought possible for his old black heart.

Alastor

His hands immediately fly up to the hand around his neck, claws digging into the wrist, prepared to wrench it off—and then, just as abruptly, he forces himself to let go. No, damn it, he's not here to fight.

"You don't want to hear this! I don't think there's a single answer you'd trust out of me but whatever's the cruelest thing I could think of to say—no matter what the truth is." Wasn't that the point of this exercise? To get around the limitation of words, the fact that Sir Pentious couldn't trust and Alastor couldn't be trusted?

So much for that. Hadn't Alastor already known there were no such thing as second chances? Let him be torn apart, it would heal in a few days and he'd learn an important lesson.

Sir Pentious

"CAN YOU BLAME ME!?"

Pentious' voice cracks as he speaks, and he eyes where he'd bit him. He had to think of Valera's words... He seems lonely. She'd compared the two, made them sound so similar... Could trusting him really be a good idea?

... He really did enjoy that visit they had together, eating pasta bolognese and drinking brandy. It had been so... familiar. Pentious frowned, frustration and... distress pulling at every part of himself. His claws flexed, but he pulled them away from Alastor's neck... and he looked down, pulling at his hood like he were considering covering his face with them.

Alastor

"No! I can't!" His voice is thick, a feedback echo whining under his words. "You have EVERY REASON not to trust me! I'd sooner ask Saint Peter for a second chance than ask you." He flings a hand carelessly in the vague direction of Heaven.

And yet, for a moment he'd been stupid and let himself hope. He had to remind himself who he was here to help. "I'm not ASKING for a second chance. Just—don't fight me. And I won't have to fight you."

He feels colder without Sir Pentious within touching distance. He crosses his arms tightly, biting one corner of his mouth to make sure his smile is still up.

Sir Pentious

It stings.

Pentious knows how he's being difficult. His hands open and close, and he grits his teeth, eyes closed tightly. He wishes he could just... move past this and immediately either be fully friends or fully enemies. This was purgatory like no other.

Agreeing to anything felt like giving up and the snake wasn't good at that either.

He glares at Alastor, "DON'T GO ANYWHERE. LET ME THINK."

Alastor

What is there to think about? How hard is it to decide whether or not to keep starting one-sided fights with someone?

But he collects himself. He takes a deep breath, uncrosses his arms, smooths out his bangs, clasps his hands behind his back, corrects his posture, fixes his smile properly back in place, and tries to look past Sir Pentious's visible turmoil and at the garden. Lightly, he says, "I'm not leaving," and immediately regrets as he realizes how easily he could have followed it up with this time.

Sir Pentious

Sometimes he wants to just... grab him by the face and force that smile OFF. But he'll calm himself...

He can't have him as a rival, or as a nemesis. Their paths were too different, and not only that, they were from entirely different Hells!

So close, yet.... Pentious took a deep breath. You're not losing anything, man. You're not. Why was this so hard?

His gaze travels back to the bite, and he flicks his tongue.

"... WHEN WASS THE LASST TIME YOU ALLOWED YOURSSSELF TO BE ATTACKED LIKE THAT?"

Alastor

He blinks, taken aback by the question—and then has to stop and think.

He's always had an unusually casual relationship with pain—and that only increased after he died and no longer had to worry about any damage being permanent. Hell, he's voluntarily been skinned alive so that he could get his own hide tanned—but that wasn't being attacked, that was more like an extreme cosmetic surgery. He's let people who would otherwise never leave a scratch on him get in a stab wound—but that was so he could lure them in close enough to rip them apart. As a child he'd sometimes been too afraid to fight back—but that's very different from consenting to being attacked, isn't it?

"Never."

Will Sir Pentious even believe that? Probably not. Of course not. Alastor wonders why he bothered to ask.

Sir Pentious

He looks at him a long time... studying his expression. Looking for something to pick apart... but it was always that same damn face.

The hum of radio feedback if he stared too long.

Alastor

There isn't much to pick apart. He meets Sir Pentious's gaze when he feels that sharp stare on him, then almost immediately looks away.

He wants to ask whether he ought to be contributing something to the proceedings or if this thinking Sir Pentious is doing is still a solo endeavor, but he forces himself to swallow his nervous chatter and quietly start playing "Snake Eyes" again to fill the silence.

Sir Pentious

The tune is so jaunty, and Pentious twitches... but this was exactly like Alastor, too. You couldn't have a moment's silence with him... The snake groaned, covering his face. Alright. Alright.

".... ALASTOR."

Alastor

The music snaps off. "Sir Pentious?"

Sir Pentious

... You know, it was. Definitely surprising not to hear "Sir Harold". It takes him a moment.

He takes out a GUN, and aims it at Alastor.

"TELL ME AGAIN WHAT YOU WANT OUT OF THISS, AND I WILL NOT QUESSTION IT AGAIN. YOU HAVE MY WORD ON THE MATTER. DO YOU WANT TO BE MY ... FRIEND? OR DO YOU JUST WANT ME OUT OF YOUR HAIR?"

Alastor

Oh—oh, good god, he hadn't planned on being asked directly. (Or with a gun. But the gun was meaningless, the gun was for emphasis. The gun was an exclamation point.)

Being honest had been the biggest mistake of this conversation so far. The closer Alastor got to telling the truth, the less trustworthy he sounded, the less Sir Pentious was going to take what he said into account. The safe answer was "out of my hair." It was the answer that would make sure Sir Pentious was...

... gone, again. Gone and safe.

But, unless Alastor was completely wrong about everything he thought he knew about this Sir Pentious—

—it sounded like he was, impossibly, offering Alastor a second chance.

He croaked, "Friend."

And then, with the dam broken, more tumbled out: "I give you my word that's not what I came to ask for. I'm only here to try to get myself out of YOUR h—hood. But if— What I want— That's what I WANT."

Sir Pentious

Well, he was damned. Valera was right.

This Alastor, much like himself, was a lonely old man. He wanted to be his friend. The snake could only stare, his arm lowering, and with it the pistol too.

"... Really?" This wasn't a voice of accusation or vitriol, or demanding anything. Just, outright, innocent confusion.

Alastor

Alastor had been half expecting a bullet through his pretty new rose-shaped pin. He HADN'T been expecting that look. Perplexingly, it looked like a sort of expression that suggested that Sir Pentious might actually believe him.

A wild panicked voice in the back of his head tried to tell him to yell JUST KIDDING, drop Sir Pentious through a particularly painful portal, and bolt from the scene like a buck out of Hell.

It was the same panicked voice that had gotten him into this mess fifty-fucking-four years ago. He wasn't going to listen to it again.

He looked for something snappy to say, couldn't find anything, and said, "Yes. Really."

Sir Pentious

VALERA WAS RIGHT AAAAAHe put the weapon away, straightening his Alastor's bowtie, and gave a smile... although it was strained. Struggling. "... YOU REALLY ARE FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION, YOU KNOW. THISS COULD NEVER BE MY REALITY."

Alastor

Bow tie. Right, he should—Alastor straightened his collar back into place and retied his now slightly bloodstained bow. "Nor mine," he muttered, his smile sinking toward a grimace. He could have said the exact same words to his own Sir Pentious—but those words NEVER would have been trusted by someone who knew exactly what he'd done when he left. The only reason he'd gotten this far was because that not-knowing meant he could get the benefit of the doubt.

What could he do, then, but milk it for all it was worth as long as he could?

"I can't do anything about my duplicate in your universe. But any time you care to come to mine... well." Well. Friends.

Sir Pentious

Oh, damn. There was that warm feeling in his chest--it felt like he had internal bleeding. It ached and stung, and Pentious clutched his suit some to try to soothe the pain.

He was too expressive for his own food, clearing his throat.

"DON'T SSOUND LIKE YOU'RE ABOUT TO TAKE YOUR LEAVE, ALASTOR. I TOLD YOU TO TAKE THE DAY OFF, AND YOU'RE GOING TO!"

Alastor

"Am I!" His face lit up. "Why? Are we finally going to get to thar part you promised where I'm crying like a baby from pain?"

Sir Pentious

"WHY DO YOU SSOUND SSO EXCITED?"

"YOU WANT THAT?"

Alastor

"Well, you were so graphic about it, you got my hopes up! I set aside the rest of the week to recover and everything." He paused just long enough to get Sir Pentious time to process that. "KIDDING! No, what did you have planned?"

Sir Pentious

.......... NOW HE'S ADVANCING ON ALASTOR, hood raised and eyes glowing red. That menacing long grin.

"OH, NO, ALASTOR, YOU WERE SSSSO EXCITED. I INSSSISSST!"

Alastor

For a moment, he stares at Sir Pentious, eyes wide. Somewhere beneath his usual static, S.O.S. beeps in Morse.

Then he flatly asks, "Do we have to?" But he's reaching for his bow tie again. One final test would be fair, wouldn't it? Alastor deserves at least that much.

Sir Pentious

Oh no. He looks conflicted!!! This man just told him he wanted to be friends!

",,, ALASTOR! YOU CAME HERE WANTING TO BE BITTEN AND POISONED AND NOW YOU DON'T WANT IT BUT ALSO DO?? BE CLEAR, BE CONSISE!!

Alastor

"I was joking about the poison part!" No more masochistic humor in THIS universe. "It sounds a little bit extreme for my idea of a fun afternoon. I was willing to do it to prove my, ah... sentiments—but if we're PAST that, I'd just as happily move on to something less excruciating."

Sir Pentious

He HUFFS. His fangs ache, wanting to bite into something again, but also... He looks strained.

".... SS... SSSSINCE YOU'RE HERE.... DO YOU WANT TO... COME INSIDE???"

Alastor

Is Sir Pentious disappointed? Alastor eyes him carefully a moment, then says, "Sure." After another pause, even more carefully, he asks, "Are you opposed to letting me see what you've been up to in that boiler room of yours?"

Sir Pentious

Little does Alastor know, Penny is suffering from a dizziness spell. It was a side effect of using his fangs like that, even if he didn't use his venom. He had a lot of physicality issues.

Pentious slithered towards the front entrance, "AH, MY RAIL GUN? SURE, AS LONG AS YOU DON'T THINK YOU CAN TAKE IT FROM ME."

Alastor

"Wouldn't dream of it!" Rail gun! Alastor followed after Sir Pentious, just short of skipping in delight. "What would I do with it, anyway—try to carry it around on my shoulder like a bazooka? Ha! No, no—I just want to see what kind of damage it can do."

Then they went inside to play with dangerous toys, the end.

[bitofthisandthat]

@hoopsheartthrob said: 👫 one for the GIRLS

Send a 👫and I’ll write four headcanons I have about our muse’s relationship

[ SELECTIVE and/or CLOSED ]

As they get into going to more parties and events together that require COSTUMES, they totally play up the obvious traits between them and go in theme together. First, it’s obvious stuff, the whole “Ivey and Harley” thing, but gradually they get more creative and do a "Sexy-lady Dr. Evil and Austin Powers” or go as 2 of the 3 brides of Dracula, using a ( fake ) severed head on a stick as the third wife, etc. But they always try to go to over the top in order to blow away all the same old costumes everyone else does. And to prove they’re closer than everyone else that they can pull these costumes off. There’s been times where the wigs or make-up is so good, that if one loses the other in the crowd, and they’re drunk enough, they can’t remember where the other girl is. So they end up frantically checking other similarly looking people that resemble Gabby or Lola when NOT in costume, and it gets ridiculous. Lola’s the first to grab the DJ mic and make a sad-drunk girl call out for her ‘best friend Gabby because she’s lost her and she’s really tired of looking for her.’ Gabby’ll just give up if she loses Lola, and starts peeling her costume off, until she’s almost indecent, pushing people around and forcibly spinning them so she can check. Lots of “Lola? No. Lola? Eh. Lola?? Not you I don’t know you...Lola? The fuuuuuck is Lol---I found you, ugh I hate these people.” So by the end of the night, if they’ve gotten THIS bad, their famed impeccable costuming is ruined. 

Gabby doesn’t do the “big jump” “crazy rider” motorcycle stuff that Lola does, and she’s no gear head like Lola, but she does have a couple high-octane vehicles stored here and there in secret ( for escape/transport only not leisure ), that she knows Lola would drool over. So when she feels the coast is clear and she can bring one out, she drives it out to her friend to show AND she lets Lola drive/stunt with it. She wouldn’t do this for anyone else, but she trusts Lola and knows it’s something the rabbit would LOVEEEEEE to do. Plus, she really enjoys seeing her ride anyway, and respects her daredevil side immensely.

They definitely do beach days together; primarily because they’re both huge water/summer/beach lovers and they DO do the whole active-beach sports and boardwalk scene. It’s always a whole day affair, never one of those “one hour then we leave” deals. Even if Gabby is more prone to laying out and sunning for ridiculous amounts of time while Lola’s out playing with strangers on the crappy basket ball courts, they always flock back together in between. Both also make a show of their swimsuits, etc. and totally play up the beach babe angle if it means getting real attention OR trolling the people they DON’T want. So yeah, they work it and act a little mean about it together. ( pfft ) They also make a big deal about where they’re going to plant themselves the whole day, because for the day, it’s going to be their spot. So they get there early, before all the families and casual tanners to pick it out. They also defend their spot rudely and snidely at anyone trying to lay too close to them, bring their noisy kids too close, or if someone looks like they’re coming up on them to be sleazy. If they’re not being active ( swimming/volley/frisbee etc. ) they’ll only relinquish their post if they’re making the next part of their day about the boardwalk night scene. They DO live off the carnival-type food and heavy-handed margaritas when they’re there too, and don’t really change, they stay in their swimwear/cover ups and don’t care.

When they’re not being casual/reckless friends in the open, or teasing/baiting the other, in private they DO talk about heavy stuff between them in a very disclosed manner. It’s always late night, and when they’re both half-asleep during a “sleep over,” where they casually crash side by side. Usually if Gabby’s crashing at Lola’s place, it’s because she needs to duck down for a little stint, or if they’ve been out too late and it’s stupid to go back to her temporary digs. But if they are not in either of these situations and one casualllllly off-handedly asks the other to stay/if they can stay, it’s their “proud girl code” that one wants to talk. The only way either feel safe enough to tell the other about gruesome/humiliating stuff that’s bothering them is in the dark, and closed off from everyone else.

[ninjacat1515]

Stranger’s Gift

Things had been oddly calm around the village of late, no reports of vampire attacks from Dracula or his Brides. Carl was out for a stroll, whistling to himself. The forces of good had the upper hand, least for now. Van Helsing, Anna and Velkan were drawing up plans and keeping busy.

He then heard footsteps behind him, and turned around. A stranger was standing there, an older man with a scarred face and a beard. He hands Carl a noisy wooden box, nodding at him before slipping away into the fog. The friar puts his ear to it, and can detect multiple, angry sounding little things inside. And he swears to the heavens above, there are tiny voices; both male and female screeching out.

“What in the world...EXCUSE ME, SIR!” 

But the stranger is long gone, leaving Carl alone on the road. One of the voices snarled, and this time the words were unmistakable and oddly familiar.

“It’s the monk!”

Carl raced back to his room, keeping the box tucked under his arm. He had to know what was inside the bizarre gift he had been given. Locking the door and closing all curtains, he put on gloves and opened the box a crack, bringing his eye close but still keeping a safe distance. Four pairs of glittering tiny eyes glared. Carl felt his stomach drop, but also a rush of giddiness. His eyes were not deceiving him...

Somehow, with whatever magic, Dracula and his brides had been shrunken down to miniature size. Carl smiled in holy triumph. Van Helsing had just won! Anna had won, and could now enter heaven! So easy, all he had to do was show them the little monsters and they could dump the Brides in a bucket of holy water. Then they’d fetch Velkan, and he could crush Dracula in his own jaws as a wolf! The village was saved.....But then a sharp twinge of guilt hit Carl.

It was....just too easy. There would be no fight, and it would be like disposing of mice in a trap. Shooting fish in a barrel. No honor in killing something that couldn’t hope to defend itself. Vampires were an unholy blight, but the prospect of having all the power over them like this, was not sitting well with Carl. He bit his lip and closed the lid, pacing about. What did God want of him? Was this a test?? Should be a victory, but instead the guilt just wouldn’t leave him.

“What would you have me do?....”

“Let us OUT!” A string of cursing came from Dracula. Claws began struggling to pry off the lid.

“It’s daylight.”

The lid shut, and Carl could hear a heated argument between Dracula and the Brides. It was really quite adorable, and he couldn’t help but smile, a snort escaping him. The altercation stopped.

“You better not be laughing! When we get to our real size again, I’m chewing your head off monk!!!”

“I’m just a friar. And returning to your real size remains to be seen...so how about you be a bit more humble, and show some respect?”

“I AM COUNT VLADISLAUS DRACULA, AND I WILL NEVER BE HUMBLE!”

Carl rolled his eyes and walked out of the room as the Count’s rant continued. This was going to be a long day...