#blender turns my brain into a beautiful glue

[icehearts]

-- welcome back.

[youdoyoucooking]

Calm Down and Cook a Fruit Tart

My Mother had a fruit tart. It wasn’t fancy and it wasn’t something that was brought out only for special occasions (but you could fancy it up if you wanted). It was more like a sunday-dinner-at-home dessert. It was adaptable and adjustable depending on the season. This thin layer of cheesecake embellished with seasonal fruit was effortless to make. A 9-inch tart pan is almost the only piece of equipment you need and a solid purchase to keep in your cabinet. Keep in mind, I have never been shy about not wanting to make a pie crust, it’s not that I can’t, it’s that I don’t want to, so a pre-bought pie crust makes this even easier. You can piece together the store bought kind if not big enough.

Sunday Dinner Fruit Tart

1 pie crust for a 9-inch tart pan (about 3/4 of a standard pie crust)

12 ounces cream cheese at room temperature 

1/2 cup sour cream at room temperature

1/2 cup granulated sugar

2 tbsp cornstarch

2 eggs at room temperature.

Any flavoring for the cheesecake layer (see suggestions)

3-4 cups of fruit for topping

4 ounces of Apple Jelly or Raspberry jam plus 4 tablespoons of water for glaze (optional)

Preheat your oven to 375. Give your tart pan a light coating of non-stick cooking spray. Press the pie crust into your tart pan. Try not to stretch the pie dough and just gently ease it into place. Trim the crust so it comes neatly up to the edges of the pan.

First, we’re going to blind-bake the crust. Cut a square of parchment paper or aluminum foil 2 inches wider than the tart pan and place it on top of your raw crust. (If you use parchment paper, it can help to crinkle it up into a tight ball and then open it up again. This will help it fit better into the pan.) Gently pour pie weights, dried beans, or uncooked rice on top of the parchment paper or foil to fill the pan. This will hold down the crust and prevent the dough from puffing up during baking. I like to use dried beans, they are cheap, easy to pour, and spill less than rice. The beans can be used an infinite number of times. Bake the pie crust, with the weights for 12 minutes, remove from oven, then lift out the parchment or foil along with the weights. Put the crust back in the oven for another 5 minutes. This whole process will give the crust a jump on the baking and keep the cheesecake layer from giving it the dreaded soggy bottom. It’s a good technique for most pies and tarts.

Turn your oven down to 350. Combine the sugar, cornstarch, eggs, sour cream, and cheesecake flavoring you have chosen, in a bowl. Mix on low speed with a hand mixer or stand mixer until smooth. This can also be done in a traditional blender or an immersion blender. The cornstarch is the thing you want to be sure is completely smooth and incorporated. Cut the cream cheese into small chunks and add to your mixture. Continue to mix on low speed, it is mixed when you see no chunks of cream cheese left. Let the mixture sit for 5 minutes to give the large bubbles a chance to disperse. Put your tart pan on a cookie sheet and pour the mixture into the crust. It will be very full. The cookie sheet will help you when you are moving from the counter to the oven and is nice in case there is any sloshing around. Bake for 40 minutes and let cool completely. The tart will puff up but don’t panic, it will sink back down as it cools.

Now you are ready to decorate. Cover the top with whatever fruit is in season or is calling out your name. I always try to include kiwi because it is what my Mother did and it makes my eye tell my brain that it tastes like home. Also, the green is pretty. Slice the fruit so it will lay flat on your tart. You can brush the top of the cheesecake layer with a little jam (any kind) to act as a “glue” for your fruit.

Once your tart is decorated with fruit, you can decide if you want to embellish it or not. The fruit is beautiful on its own but maybe a little naked. I like to dress it up a little with a glaze. Warm a little apple jelly with 2 tablespoons of water until it is runny. Stir together until combined and gently brush it on with a pastry brush. For some reason, apple jelly has become impossible to find. I have resorted to seedless raspberry preserves. It gives everything a pinkish glow and may not be appropriate all the time (like with oranges or pineapple). I like to warm about 4 ounces of the Jam with 2 tablespoons of water. Stir together. Then you are ready to gently brush it on top of your fruit. 

Flavoring suggestions for the cheesecake layer, combine them if the mood strikes you

1 tablespoon Vanilla

1 teaspoon of Almond extract

1 teaspoon of maple extract

1 teaspoon of coconut extract

1 tablespoon Lemon Zest

1 tablespoon Orange Zest

1 tablespoon Lime Zest

1 teaspoon of cinnamon

½ teaspoon of ground cardamom

2 tablespoons of bourbon

1 teaspoon ground ginger

Substitute white sugar for brown sugar for a caramel note.

What are you in the mood for? Mix and Match 

Fruit ideas for the top of your tart

Berries are the easiest and very attractive if you mix them up. Strawberries can be sliced for more efficient coverage

Bananas are an option but be prepared to serve the tart right away, they will start to brown. A dollop of whipped cream goes nicely with this.

Apples and Pears work but you will want to sautee them first. They can be too firm if completely raw. (see recipe below)

Chunks of fresh pineapple are very tropical. If you can’t use fresh and are going to use canned, make sure they are packed in juice and blot them dry. Decorate with toasted coconut if you are feeling “extra”.

Sliced Figs are the gold standard, according to my husband, and are the goal of any fruit tart

Orange sections are sunny but take the time to pick off the pith (the white stringing stuff) or make your life easy and use canned Mandarin sections. Again, be sure to blot them dry

Perfectly ripe peach wedges. (Peaches combine great with blackberries.)

Kiwi. Peeled and sliced thinly. 

Apricots (but really, who can find fresh apricots?)

Tart that tart up (get it?). Take your shiny glazed fruit and go a step further by giving it a light sprinkling of nuts. Any kind will do but sliced almonds or chopped macadamias work well. In the mood for a bit of chocolate? Sprinkle the top of the tart with some chocolate shavings. Buy a plain chocolate candy bar and run a vegetable peeler along the skinny side. Adorable little chocolate curls will appear.

Sauteed Apples or Pears

4 cups apples – about 4 apples

1 lemon

2 tablespoons butter

½ cup of white sugar or ¼ cup white sugar, ¼ cup brown sugar

Peel, core, and slice apples (pears) as if getting ready for a pie. Place apples (pears) in a bowl and squeeze the juice of the lemon on top and toss until you believe the lemon has evenly coated them. This will keep them from going brown.

Over medium heat, melt the butter in a large skillet and toss in the sugar. Stir for about a minute until the sugar is starting to melt.  Add apples or pears and stir almost constantly for 8-10 minutes. The apple or pears will have started to soften. Let cool completely before arranging on top of the tart. (These are also delicious with pork chops or vanilla ice cream. Versatile!)

[bone-deep-witch]

My latest project is a fallow stag that I found in a tarpaulin sack at the pine plantation about a month ago.

He looked pretty much still together until I got him home and soaked off the huge layer of muck he’d been stewing in. Turns out that had all been holding him together, and the darker parts of his face are the consistency of foam rubber the second they get wet. 

I dried his pieces out nicely by the fire, picked off the mummified insect cocoons and the odd skin/grave wax/fungal matter/??? that survived all the cleaning I did, and got on with my rather macabre jigsaw puzzle. I tried attaching the muzzle pieces to the brain cavity with glue, but since the main joins were around the thin part of the eye socket it just wasn’t happening. Elastoplast to the rescue!

Once he was as much in one piece as possible, I filled the cavity with cling wrap and plastered over the giant smashed-out hole in his face. In all honesty, it looks like whoever killed him smashed him with the butt of a rifle or a hammer. There is a distinctly rectangular blunt-force trauma right in the middle of the skull, and it seems too centred to be accidental.

I was planning to spray him with nice white gloss, but the paint just soaks in to the areas where the bone is seriously degraded. I’m planning to buy a beauty blender when we’re near Kmart this evening so I can sponge him with while oil paint instead. And then I’m going to go over the breaks and holes in the bone with gold to make his repairs beautiful.

In photos 6 & 7, the skull is resting on the C1 vertebra which, of course, makes a perfect stand. I’m going to need to invest in some nice new shelves for my lounge room to display my projects!