#blue uses. she/they. maybe it too but im still. new at neopronouns

[soft-spooks]

ok im reposting the images here for context bc i love her

Blue is! one of the discarded vessels

they were mostly an experiment, never really meant to have any sort of sentience or life. instead of being hollow, they were created to be a vessel full of Lifeblood- the king had a hypothesis at one point that lifeblood contained a sort of cure or protection against the infection, and wanted to see whether or not it was strong enough to house the Radiance (spoiler alert: it wasnt)

jokes on him though! lifeblood, as the name suggests.. well. makes things alive! now this vessel whos supposed to not have any feeling or thought is. alive and panicking because they are Full Of Infection and theres a big fucking Moth God in their head. they wake up from the dreamworld and kind of lash out, they get subdued and the experiment is called off as a failure . the lifeblood in their body does take care of the remnants of the infection somewhat, but not entirely. thats where the crack in their head comes from! deemed a failure, they were going to be cast out into the abyss like the rest of the failed vessels, but before they get thrown off the edge, joni breaks in and stops them. she had heard about lifeblood experiments and since lifeblood is her Whole Thing, she wanted to take care of them. they would be out of the kings way and hed never have to see them again- joni was labelled as a heretic anyway, so shed be leaving regardless.

the king allowed this, but made a point of banishing the two of them so theyd for sure never be seen again. joni took the vessel back to the howling cliffs, to the little home she had been growing for herself (the repose). there, joni sort of raised Blue, gave them their name, treated them as a sort of apprentice, taught them how to utilize and control lifeblood.

eventually, joni dies, and since blue is functionally immortal as a vessel and doesnt age, they kinda. shut down under grief and go into a sort of hibernation state. this lasts for a GOOD number of years, until they're awoken by. something. i havent figured that part out yet.

that brings us to the game timeline, Infection running rampant in the kingdom, the king is dead, etc etc. blue wanders out from the repose and starts to explore the kingdom. theyre kind of aimless and dont really know where or why theyre going, but thsy feel like they have to keep moving.

blue can talk to the little lifeseeds! and their healthbar is not soul related, its entirely made up of lifeblood masks, meaning sitting at benches doesnt heal them. theyre very cautious going through the kingdom and try to avoid getting hurt as much as possible. their nail is actually jusy one half of a pair of scissors.

etc etc theyre exploring for a long time, and then they find !!!! bretta !!!!! in the fungal wastes!!! and shes under the thrall of the infection, not turned quite yet but. out of it. and blue knows that her lifeblood csnt exactly heal the infection, but it CAN clear out small amounts of it. so they give some of it to bretta ans it heals her !!!!!!!!

shes rlly out of it and cant really walk on her own, so blue carries her to the nearest stag station and takes her back to dirtmouth <3 brettas story goes as it usually does otherwise, except zote never fucking shows up and bretta and blue fall in love so she doesnt leave either <3

[bread-of-death]

Current icon (Halloween) done by @puff-the-bunny

Making a new pinned post now that I'm an adult and the other one is like,, supremely outdated

(And I still refuse to change my bio)

I'm an adult, but that's not an invitation to be weird- so don't :)

Pronouns are she/her & he/him- I don't particularly care for they/them pronouns, but if you use them for me it's still cool

Neopronouns & such are cool, just not for me

Guhhhhh- im bi & genderfluid af

Ive got no official DNI, but just the general don't be racist, misogynist, misandrist, a terf, pedo, etc. just don't be a dick basically (or at least be a normal one)

I am very bad about tagging posts with normal things, though I do my best to tag anything that's nsfw (either with just 'nsfw' or 'nsfw text' if it's a text post) I usually tag gore and nudity as well- if you want me to tag something just send an ask or dm me- I don't bite

I've got a few sideblogs! Some I use more than others

Any art of mine (it's not good, I promise) would be found at @i-have-copious-levels-of-regrets

My music related stuff is @a-bready-music-blog

Cytus (which I'm not huge into anymore but do still enjoy) is @bread-loves-cytus

Red vs. blue is @bread-vs-blue

I do have some others, but none that I care to share (too cringe, even for me) if you find em though, good for you! (I think I mention in just about all of them in the pinned post that this blogs is my main)

I've got a YouTube channel too- literally nothing goes on there, just dumb shit maybe once or twice a year

I've technically got a discord server- it's still alive with a good chunk of my mutuals but I never really use it myself..oops..

Anyone is still welcome to join though!

If I missed anything or you think there's necessary information that I missed, just send me a message :)

[quillsink]

*comes with help for gender crisis*

what can i do to help my beloved

HI MY LOVE

ok i’m gonna rant now because yeah lmfao-

Okay so first about gender, first I was very lile “hahah yeah i’m totally a cis girl even tho calling myself a girl makes me wanna cry but maybe i’m like ONE percent nonbinary or smth” then i was like “ok i’m confronting this shit head on” and i was like ok nonbinary and genderfloren so masc, nb and fem genders but never fully male or female and then. then i just realise.

i don’t think i’ve ever felt fem in my life-

like. EVER.

and anyways yeah so i might be transmasc?? but idk??

so im think about different neopronouns to see what fits and ahhhh i’m using the pronoun dressing room and there’s some i like idk i’m gonna think about it

also um. NAME. so um. i can handle gender and pronouns i’m having a name crisis tho.

yesterday night i was basically having a crisis over this shit and i thought “what if i changed my name?” and it SCARED me. Like. I felt physically sick over the thought of changing my name and I know that sounds overdramatic but i literally did. Like for example Ive always liked the name Alexander but then I tried it out in my head and i HATED it. i tried other names and I fucking HATED it.

so now here’s the thing. i um, i don’t wanna reveal my irl name for like safety reasons lmfao, but it’s a pretty gender neutral name, right? it’s used across india for both girls and boys.

so i loved my name as a kid but now i’m sorta “ehhh” about it then i realise

i dont need to change my name

i need to get my old name back

like, the name used to be mine. the name was mine when i was just a child, when i was six, seven, too young to really understand the difference between boys and girls, back when i could still pretend i was a boy, back before puberty hit me. the name was MINE. i could hear that name and respond.

when i realised i was trans/nb i still liked the name, because the name was mine.

then i had to hear that name, the name which was MINE, be used in the same sentence as “girl.” Be used in the same sentence as “she,” as “her,” and I started to detest that. Because, yknow, the name used to be mine! It was mine, it still IS mine, but it’s slowly being taken from me. It’s being taken from me because I have to hide.

When I was a kid I didn’t know I was trans, so I didn’t have to hide anything. I was still me, I was the me I showed the world.

But now, I know I’m trans, I’m not a girl, and believe me I fucking LOVE my name but I have to pretend that that name, the name I love, belongs to a girl. I have to have two different personalities, one I show the world and one that’s me, and I use the same name for both.

If I could be out—it wouldn’t be a problem, because when Blue or Nebs use my IRL name, I don’t dislike it. Because they know I’m not a girl, because they know I’m nonbinary, because they use they/them for me, I don’t hate it. But when my parents will say to each other “Oh yeah ask ____ if SHE wants it. Make sure to ask HER to do HER chores” and I feel like they’re talking about someone else and they use the same name. It’s my name and they have no fucking right to use it as though I’m a girl.

So I don’t want a new name, I want my old name back. But I can’t do that safely because of this shitty transphobic world I live in. I cant do that because everyday I have to watch relatives make fun of ”confused men in dresses” who live in the streets, the women i see on the roadsides. Because everyday another trans person is killed in my country, because every day I have to know that my relatives won’t accept me.

And I don’t know what to do, because i CANNOT be out safely here, as someone who is AFAB is a sexist country and I cannot be out safely as a teenager, a literal minor.

So I feel like I’m losing my name, even though it’s mine and always will be. My name is nonbinary because it is mine, and I am nonbinary, but it’s being stolen from me and there’s nothing i can fucking do.

So yeah lmfao there’s that-

:))