HIGHER (420 special)
pairing: bsf!nate x mixed reader
summary: you've celebrated 4/20 every year since you were sixteen with a group of your friends, this year you were bringing one of your good friends nate to the get together. what happens when things take a turn between you two
warnings: SMUT, p in v, semi-public, swearing, making out, use of weed, pet names (use of ma), praising, use of y/n
word count: 2316
authors note: this was supposed to be out last week i'm ngl, i've just been busy and did in fact celebrate 4/20 so i fell asleep before i really got any work in on it.
view my master list here
april twentieth had to be your favorite day. the day your people got together to celebrate a plant helping them with the cruel world. this year you were happy to say your best friend nate would be joining you and your friends.
you pulled the tank top over your head, looking at yourself in the mirror before grabbing your watermelon flavored lip balm that your friend nick gave you.
you opened the tube, twisting the product up some before smearing it on your lips and smacking them together.
you slid on a pair of shoes, grabbing your pink bag containing pre-rolls and dabs, grabbing your keys and exiting your house. you locked the door and climbed in the driver's seat of your car, pulling away from your house.
you pulled up to the dispensary, walking into the shop. the bell above the door jingled when you pushed it open. "my favorite - shouldn't be here - customer," a girl with curly black hair and tattoos covering her arms smiles.
"hellooo whitney," you smile, walking up to the older woman. "need a new cartridge?"
"i mean... i didn't, i came in here for more dab, i'll be out by the end of the night. but do you have the blueberry kush west coast cure cartridge since i'm here?"
whitney nodded her head, you had come in a while back looking for one, but they didn't have any in stock. "you're in luck, we just got our inventory for the month last week."
you followed the woman to the back, not that you were supposed to be there since it was employees only. "hey, y/n," a guy with a backwards hat and gages greeted.
"hey axel," you greet, stopping behind whitney as she digs through boxes. "how are the babies?"
axel grins, his eyes crinkling up at the corners. "good, my girlfriend took the week off work so she could stay with them."
"ohhh that's so nice," you say. you had seen the twins a few times, even being blessed enough to babysit for a few hours while him and his girlfriend had date night.
whitney let out a small shout of success. "here it is, now, you're going to want to start low and then work your way up. you're a light weight compared to most of our customers."
you roll your eyes at her, "i am not," you huff. "that's not what i saw last time i did your nails," the lady grinned. whitney had been your go to for nails, having practiced while she was in high school.
"whatever," you roll your eyes, following her to the front. she rung up the dab, already knowing what her favorite customer liked and a cartridge. she stopped you before you swiped your card.
you watched as she scanned her badge, giving you a 30% discount. "i'll forever be grateful," you tell her.
"you know it. enjoy, have fun," she winked.
you walked back to your car, placing the white bag in the back before backing out of the parking space. you turned your left blinker on, turning out of the driveway.
the drive to nates house wasn't long, a whopping ten minutes. you pulled up to the curb, not even having time to pull up his contact before he was walking out the door.
you unlocked the doors, nate sliding in the passenger seat. "i hope you're ready to get baked out of your mind," you joke. he let out a small chuckle, taking the grey hood he wore off of his head, leaving him in his pink beanie.
"nice beanie," you muse, pulling away from his house and towards the park.
"thanks," he mumbled. "i'm glad to be going with you, it'll be fun," he smiles. "mhm," you hum, pulling up to the park fifteen minutes later. you turned your blinker on, turning into the parking lot before taking a parking space next to your friend sadies jeep.
"ready?"
"yep," nate replied, climbing out of the car.
you pulled your bag from the back, slinging it over your shoulder and grabbing the white bag before shutting the door. "heyyy," sadie and her girlfriend, emma, greeted getting out of her jeep.
"hey hey," you grinned, the two girls hugging you. "we were waiting for you guys," sadie informed. you nodded your head, starting the small walk towards the group of people.
you had met sadie a few years ago, her girlfriend emma being a family friend of yours. nate had joined the group some months back, the two of you running into each other at dunkin and immediately hit it off.
"hey guys," you greet, everyone saying their hellos. "well let's get the party started then," a girl with dyed red hair stated, pulling a lighter from her bra as she lit up the blunt she had held between her fingers.
a few hours into the gathering, you were happily baked.
you sat between nate and sadie, nates hand wrapped around your waist in order to provide some form of heat for you as you ate the watermelon popsicles someone had brought.
you sucked the tip of it into your mouth, swirling your tongue around the tip. nate coughed next to you, you pulled the tip out with a pop, looking at him as he took a deep breath.
"are you okay?" you question, handing him the popsicle. he grabbed it, nodding his head. "i'm good," he choked out.
"alrighty then," you laugh, reaching up and grabbing his beanie, putting it on your own head. you stood, stretching and cracking your joints as you did so. you held your hand out to nate, "wanna take a walk?"
he grabbed your hand, allowing you to help him stand. you turned to your friends, letting them know where the two of you were going, emma and sadie wiggling their eyebrows.
you grabbed your bag, throwing it over your shoulder as the two of you started walking, nates hand still holding yours.
"i'm glad you came with me today," you admit, leaning against him.
"so am i," he agrees. the two of you walk in silence, enjoying each others company. you reach a large tree, nate letting go of your hand to climb up it.
"actually?" you giggle, watching the boy jump to wrap his arms around a branch. he looked down at you, a small grin on his face. "come on."
you set your bag on the ground, grabbing a hold of the branch and jumping. nate caught your ankle, helping you climb into the tree. "what are we doing in a tree," you question, leaning against him.
he took the beanie off of your head, putting it on his own. "because i like trees," he shrugs. "oh yeah," you giggle, resting your head on his shoulder. you sit in a comfortable silence, the air around the two of you growing tense.
nate leaned his head against yours, turning his head some so his lips were closer to your ear. "i'm really glad we became friends," he admitted, nudging the side of your neck with his nose.
"me too," you sigh, smiling.
he pressed a small kiss to the side of your neck, making your smile grow. "i'm glad to hear," he mumbled, placing another kiss.
you felt a small amount of heat pool in the pit of your stomach. "we should probably get down," you mumbled, pushing the feeling down.
"probably," he mumbled. you both stood, nate dropping from the tree first. he held his arms up, his hands wrapping around your calves, sliding up as you slid down.
your legs wrapped around his torso as you slid, in hopes to stabilize yourself more as you slid.
the two of you fell back onto the ground, nates hand coming to rest on your back as you laid on top of him. you let out a small gasp, nate's breath fanning your face as the two of you laughed.
"are you okay?" you giggle, lifting your head up some to look down at the boy. "never better," he grins, his eyes flickering from yours to your lips.
he lifted his head up some, pressing his lips to yours quickly before he could talk himself out of it.
you kissed back, his hand moving to grip the back of your neck. his thumb rubbed soothing circles, the kiss not being rushed. you pulled back, looking at him. "can we go to your house?"
"please."
you pushed yourself off of him, helping him up. you grabbed your bag, taking his hand and guiding him back to the party. "hey guys," you smile, catching the attention of the group.
"hey," a few greeted. "hey, um, we're going to head out," nate stated.
"ooohh," sadie grinned, a smirk on her face. "die," you point, earning a giggle from her. "i love youuuu," she yells as you walk away. "i love you too," you yell back, laughing.
the walk to your car was quiet, the two of you walking slowly. you stopped at the passenger side door, opening it for him. "such a gentlewoman," he grins, you rolling your eyes.
you slid into the drivers seat, buckling and starting the car. you pulled away from the park, nate resting his hand on your thigh. his thumb running circles on your thigh.
the air in the car was thick with sexual tension, your breathing a little heavy. nate slid his hand further up, his fingertips grazing your core.
"this okay?" he asked, noticing you let out a shakey breath. "yeah," you breathed, gripping the steering wheel harder.
his finger ran down your core, a small groan escaping his throat. "fuck," he muttered.
"what?" you questioned, glancing at him.
"you're soaking."
you let out a small whine, biting your lip. "pull over," he groaned.
"wha- why," you stutter. "because i don't think i can wait until we get to my house," he mumbles. you bite your lip, pulling off into a hidden part of the road.
"turn the car off," he mumbles, pulling his seatbelt off and sliding his seat as far back as it would go. you turn the car off, undoing your seatbelt and shifting to straddle his lap.
you leaned forward, attaching your lips to his. his hands gripped your waist, his hips bucking up to meet yours. "fuck, can't wait to be inside you," he groaned, kissing along your jaw.
you ground down against him, the two of you moaning in unison. nate slid his hand between the two of you, pushing your skirt up as he undid his pants.
he pulled his member out, stroking it a few times before pushing your underwear to the side. he groaned, your slick coating the head. "fuck, so wet," he groaned.
"all for you," you whispered, nipping his earlobe. he pushed you down, the head pushing into your entrance. "fuck," you squeaked shoving your face into his neck.
"oh shit," he moaned, your walls hugging him. he pulled your shirt and bra cup down, his mouth connecting to one of your nipples.
"fuck, nate," you whined, pulling his beanie off and grabbing his hair. his tongue flicked your nipple, his teeth grazing the sensitive nub.
he thrust his hips up, a cry escaping your mouth. "i'm sorry," he muttered, not stopping the shallow thrusts.
"fuck," you cried, the coil in the pit of your stomach tightening. "m'close," you moan. "already?" he grinned cockily, a moan escaping his own lips as you tightened around him.
you nodded your head, biting your lip and looking away from him. his hand grabbed your chin, pulling your head to face him. "let me hear that pretty voice," he cooed, thrusting up into you.
your hands rested on his shoulders, his thrusts speeding up. "fuck nate," you moaned. "right there," you cry, throwing your head back.
nate grinned, "right there ma?" he teased, his teeth connecting to your exposed neck. he thrusted into the spot, your eyes rolling to the back of your head.
"fuck," you moaned, the coil in your stomach snapping. your orgasm hit, your body shaking in his grasp.
"that's it," he encouraged. he kissed along your jaw, his hips working you through your orgasm.
"wait, shit," you moaned, his thrusts not faltering.
"why," he questioned, a small frown on his face. "cause... i'll cum again," you stutter. "okay, and?" he teased, biting his lip and smirking.
"oh," you moaned, leaning against him. he grabbed your ass, bouncing you in his lap. you leaned forward, connecting your lips to his.
he squeezed your ass, your walls clenching around him. "gonna make me cum," he breathed, his hips speeding up. you bounced with him, your breasts in his face. he kissed the tops of them, his lips moving across the skin.
"nate, oh my god," you moaned, throwing your head back. "so pretty," he breathed, his lips sucking a hickey into the skin above your nipple. "nate," you warned, your second orgasm approaching.
"cum for me," he ordered, his fingers digging into your waist.
you clenched around him, your second orgasm hitting. his hips stuttered, the coil in his stomach snapping as he shot his seed into you. the two of you panted, trying to catch your breaths.
he pressed his lips to yours, his hand roughly tangling in your hair. "so pretty," he murmured, pulling away and kissing along your neck. "such a pretty girl," he breathed, kissing your jaw.
"oh god," you breathed, your heart rate speeding up. nate smiled against your neck, pulling away and pressing his lips to yours. "so pretty," he breathed.
you bit your lip, sliding off his lap and adjusting your bra and skirt. nate tucked himself back in his pants, a blush on his cheeks. "wanna go to your place," you questioned, a shy smile on your face.
"absolutely," he grins. you start the car, buckling and backing out.
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feathers in the attic | freakebana | part i. | blueberry trainwreck >> blackberry kush
yandere keigo takami x reader, goldfinch. words: 4567. explicit content. 18+ MDNI
He longed for a world where heroes had too much time on their hands.
No one knew better than his wives how he’d rather spend his days.
please be mindful of the ample warnings as we're all responsible for curating our own fandom experience✌️
this chapter contains neuro spice, chronic pain, non-consensual fingering, degradation, involuntary & forced orgasms, physical abuse, throat fucking, enforced sobriety, and mention of the breeding plot within the harem.
“Would’ve made a hell of a name.”
Lazing over a bed of flannels and plumage, you flip through the well worn pages of the magazine until you’ve found it.
You can still remember when an idol graced the cover. It’s an old issue from 2018 with a midsummer run, scratched to ruin ages ago. The full shoot was left virtually untouched along with the accompanying article.
She’d posed so pretty, selling her story to perfection. Not that you could fully appreciate what she was promoting.
These types of interviews tended to lose their impact, dated as they were.
No intimacy. No stakes or connection. No urgency in your step to rush to the nearest theater to support the little girl with a dream.
The farthest you could take yourself was the toilet.
Not quite the Library of Alexandria—but oh, how the loss of context tore you apart.
Within the confines of these four walls, time was a construct at your most lucid… a prison when you were dragged past the depths of your dark and twisty recesses.
The nights he’d sweep your broken body from the floor. Hold you in his crimson embrace and manhandle you to his whims. When all the fight left your lungs so you couldn’t even scream, let alone tell him no.
He stole your name twice over in a swinging pendulum of perception; Goldfinch for times you were his sweet girl… Bluebird when you were less than pliant.
It bruised him to see you scorn his affections, so he called you in kind.
He’d pin you down. Pry you apart. Fuck himself into your cunt and soul, leaving you a mere ragdoll to his desires.
You’d only ever been what he had demanded of you.
He wanted a victim, you could damsel with the best of them. This was a show that would go on with or without your approval.
He’d feed you. Rape you. Dry your tears.
Anything more than that, he can stand to spoil you.
Could’ve been hours before you’d feel him leave your side. Days, even. You’d hardly know the difference—only that his side was barren, cool to the touch as you washed a hand over the sheet…
Here one minute, gone the next. Pain emanating and all your own.
Without the organic warmth of sunlight on your cheeks, you’d never feel the day break for yourself.
He took everything from you. Your power. Your will. Your life.
The room was set to a constant low light, controlled by the flick of his wrist and a tablet.
Never natural and never enough, same as every inch of every room of this godforsaken place. A damn menagerie, down to the fucking temp.
dry heat so you won’t catch cold… fans in the warmer months.
He kept you maintained. Albeit depleted in your current state, but no one was about to accuse the bastard of neglecting you.
If they ever found his nest, that is.
Would it matter?
Would they care?
White knuckles hold the spine as the water bottle at your side loses the last of its tepid edge.
You can’t think about it. Mainlining dopamine where you could manage would have to get you through the worst of it for now.
Vivid colors punch a sigh from your lips, even muted in the dark like this. More than satisfied, you’re relieved. Manic thoughts swirl that someday he might deem the material obscene. He was a jealous man, mercurial by nature. It wasn’t out of the realm of possibility for him to tatter disagreeable content beyond recognition.
Maybe leaving the article unmolested was a gesture on his part, a bygone offering.
Perhaps he’d just overlooked the whole thing. It could mean nothing.
Fingers graze the gorgeous arrangements until you can match the scent into your mind and memory. Citrus and pome. Florals you haven’t thought to conjure in years.
Freakebana.
You take your time tracing the header with a wavering touch before devouring the article.
Composition. Purpose. How to style your very own lovely item.
In another life you’d be all over this shit. You and your quirk.
Don’t think about it.
It’s a striking contrast that never fails to overwhelm you…
Sensual. A serenity that follows the warm blush of anthurium piercing the understated pears. Surreal. The next image featured a bit of Queen Anne’s lace and soft peonies over an orange. Vulgar.
The dissonance of rotting fruit and lush botany was breathtaking. The writer was on the fucking money in the best of ways.
You had some trouble placing the last of the flowers through the hurricane wreaking havoc over your joints and muscles. Breath catching, the aches come roaring back.
You’ve passed the eye of the storm.
Just as well, you’re wrapping on your daily indulgence anyways. Spoil yourself now and you risk the brainrot of whatever envy you’ve got waiting in the wings.
You tuck the magazine under the mattress with a frown.
“Seriously.” Falling back on the mattress, you set the heels of your hands over your eyes. “Like taking a shower and having that perfect comeback all those hours later. So goddamn irritating.”
A voice cuts through the vent, where her wall meets your ceiling. “Never took you for the hero track.”
“Never said I was.”
You hone your focus on the neon numbers at your bedside, blinking away one hour to the next.
The clock reads five fifteen. He’ll be darkening your doorstep soon enough.
A distant cry tickles your eardrums. You curl in on yourself, tremors washing over you with a groan. The contractions in your belly spread like a wildfire of pain past your thighs and calves. It’s all you can do to pull the sheet over your shoulders and bury yourself deeper.
Five thirty.
You’d thought to ask if she heard anything on her end but Magpie had long grown quiet in the room beside yours. It’s all you can do to force your bloodshot eyes open.
You have to stay awake—you can fall apart when he’s taken to the skies or buried six feet under.
Five fifty…
Before sleep can take you, a near melodic taps hit your ears; the sweeping fingers of a key code just beyond your reach.
Keigo lets himself inside, his feathers shutting the door faster than you can think to act.
Not that it matters. You couldn’t fight him off if you’d been training from the start of your confinement.
Your eyes remain locked on the time. Jaw tight, you commit to refusing him.
Five fifty one.
He’ll be late if he doesn’t hurry the fuck up and get face time with every wife. There was a ritual to these things.
Timing had to be down to an art form otherwise the fastest man would have to be late to the day job. Usually a punishment or two.
Hate to do this, he’d say. Lies spewed past a tight jaw and a strained cock.
Rather than present a front of urgency to the fact, he only lets out a long suffering sigh at the sight of you.
You hear his voice before you ever make his face.
“I know you’re awake.” You tense under his avian gaze. “Was it another bad one?”
He drops the tray of breakfast and meds on a dresser you’ve always found woefully redundant. Then he’s crossing the room, shameless in his liberties over the unclaimed space.
The mattress dips beside you. His body runs flush against your back as an unwelcome touch traces shapes over your belly.
“Finch…” A plea on his lips, a warning to your ears. “I’m sure you don’t want to make a bad time worse. You know the kind of stress I’m under. C’mon, Songbird. You gotta give me something.”
Silence begets silence. He frowns in the darkness, ever waiting on a poised reply from his captive bride.
“Tell you what. You talk to me. You behave, I’ll see what I can do on my end,” he coaxes with his fingers carding through your hair. “We can have family game night. Maybe a movie?”
“So generous,” you rasp.
He hums into a modest shrug, pressing a kiss over your shoulder. “I thought so, at least.”
Smug fuck.
“You still have Starling on the suppressants?”
His wings posture around you reflexively. You have only a second to relish in the chaos before his grip is tightening. He pulls the hair he’s buried himself in.
“I thought you were gonna be a good girl,” he accuses.
“That was your mistake… You’re the one who wanted me to sing.” Spite bleeds from your lips like a curse.
“Really now.” He quirks his brow, almost impressed. “You know what, fair play.”
Drawing your head back for a torturous moment too long, he keeps you in those eyes right there with him. Molten and tragic—fixed solely on you.
You catch your breath in the pillow, heaving into a series of coughs.
He passively regards you as the strewn feathers do his bidding. They haul you from the mattress, raising you up with ease. Remaining on the bed, Keigo knocks both wrists under his neck to lean on.
Hands above your head, he has you bound and restrained midair. You watch the idle plumage sharpen in your periphery. Only two.
You can’t muster the fucks it would take to panic… Never mind the pleas to get out of this.
The aches are ever present, blossoming upwards now. It grounds you, pins you to the moment as the feathers keep you locked in place.
“Here I wanted to have a nice breakfast with all you pretty birds on my day off,” he grouses.
“The pain I’m in is killing me. Day in, day out. You leave me to wither and rot without a thought to my suffering. Not me, not any of us.” You’re absolutely raging beneath his phantom hold. “Fuck your day off.”
The blades move closer. Just a nick in the right place, that’s all it would take to end this nightmare for you. There’s nothing else for him to take.
“As much as I appreciate your blessing, I was already planning on it.”
One slice. And another. A mere whisper of cloth that leaves your breasts exposed.
Both straps of your silken nightdress come undone on his order. They turn the remaining scraps to ribbons until you’re completely nude for him.
Rising from the bed, his wings bristle ever so.
Keigo takes his time sauntering towards you. Rounding the bed, he pops a grape in his mouth. It only takes one fallen feather trailing behind him to swipe pills from the very same tray.
“Not like either of us have anywhere to be. Why don’t I make you really sing, hm?”
Close as he is, you find yourself flinching. His calloused touch ghosts across your skin, breath fanning in tandem over your cheeks.
“What d’ya suppose I’m gonna find when I get down there.”
“Drop dead,” you curse.
Your head is knocked back into the wall before you even register the slap. A practiced hand slips inside your mouth to silence you, taking his time fucking you with his fingers. Never once does he break stride with the hand that keeps time over your pulse.
Your cheek burns. His fingers gag you as he smothers the sounds of protest at your airway. Emboldened by the sounds at his fingertips, his breath stutters over your cheeks as he ruts desperately against you.
He releases you. Presses on, low as he dares to tread in these little hours.
Down your chest.
Past your stomach.
Quick as a flash, he pulls himself from your mouth leaving a trail of spittle that runs down your chin. The absence leaves you fighting for your life, choking on air one minute and a scream the next.
Deft fingers bite into your throat. You groan, arching into his touch.
“Tell me why you’re so interested all of a sudden,” he bids. “Couldn’t possibly be out of concern for me…”
You want to tear away from him. Claw his skin, his eyes. Those feathers aren’t granting you any favors—palms bleeding stigmata, their loyalties remain solely with the master who controls them.
You’re in a losing fight with the pain.
You’ll have to ride this out until he kills you or tires from the game. Fuck this and fuck him.
“Star…ling,” you grind out.
A weak swing of your legs is thwarted with ease.
He loosens his touch some. You hurl your answer at him while there’s a fraction of a chance he’ll leave you alone.
“Lend me her power or up my dose… I don’t care, just give me enough to end it.”
This gives him pause. He hovers over your collarbone. You watch him swallow.
“I can’t live like this anymore,” you sob. “The pain is unbearable and you’re not letting me heal myself. No sunlight. No relief. I can’t sleep unless you put me under and it’s never enough. It was for me, Keigo.”
He sends for a feather to fetch his whims. Rests the heel of his waiting hand against your mons.
“That’s what you’re going with?”
You hang your head. “It’s the truth.”
His lips lock around your aching nipple just as he dips inside you.
He spreads your thighs, appraising your legs with a scrutinizing eye and a wandering touch to match. You’d scream if you thought it would help.
Keigo slots your legs over his shoulders. Sucks a bruise into your thigh, cups your cunt. You jolt into the assault.
Slow to start, he presses down and teases you with his relentless strumming. His middle finger laps your juices, fucking them deeper into you every time.
Thighs shake. Your stomach tenses, bracing for the forced release.
His wrist twists in quick succession. It’s all you hear. He latches on your clit, a steady staccato of tongue and teeth with his forearm shining with sweat and your own wetness.
Your breath catches on a wail, riding the orgasm for all it’s worth. The last of your release comes pouring out of you, stuttering the last of the stream all over his face; a shining testament to an evil man who knows just how to give migraine-shattering head.
The hormonal gremlin that haunts your attic almost wants him to fuck you. Best taken as a sign you’re ovulating… better to stay away.
It’s like he can smell the apprehension on your skin. His eyes stare up at you in the dark. Not in awe, rather a cautious advantage.
Ever the predator, he watches and awaits the moves of the prey.
You’re still a writhing mess on his tongue. If you could bury yourself in his hair, you would bear down with a white knuckle grip and a piercing cry to match.
Your arms tingle in the restraints above you. “Keigo… stop.”
He does so. Pulls away from you entirely.
You slump to the floor. A groan, “Keigo—what the fuck?!”
The scruff on his chin glistens in the low light. He smiles down on you, aglow as an angel.
Even Lucifer had wings before the fall.
You flinch when his palm reaches your jaw. It takes you by surprise how gentle, how earnest it was. Almost reminds you of the beginning.
Never enough. Not really.
Of course you knew who he was. Hawks was renowned on and off the job; a top hero during business hours and a notorious playboy after dark. He frequented your flower shop when you were earth side.
Still, he never touched you. He didn’t have to when he’d been grooming you from the start.
You came. He called. Service with a smile, even with eyes locked on the scene of him devouring the deepest parts of you.
He left you to your own devices for the most part. One day you got a little too familiar, too comfortable with the back and forth, letting it slip that you’d been living with chronic pain for years.
And maybe you shouldn’t have reassured him that your form of management is often self medicated, supplied by your plant quirk…
But he looked so sad.
Little did you know the ammunition you’d be giving him. A warrant signed by your own hand for a drawn out death, long and tortuous.
Coming to, you gag around him.
“Take it,” he demands. “Shut your whore mouth and take it.”
He’s got a fistful of your hair and you can’t get a breath in while you’re warming his cock.
You push on his thighs but he only tightens his grip, pulling you flush against him.
He stutters above you and then slows.
Stays still inside you, caresses the bulge taking purchase down your throat.
One roll of his hips. Then two to follow. He came on your tongue before he could see to the third.
“Don’t you dare swallow yet.” He twists your nipple, further scrutinizing you as he nods towards your quivering lips. “Open up, let me see.”
You do as you’re told. In the dark like this, you don’t have the luxury of foresight. You could never have known that he had you where he wanted; primed with a grape and your cocktail of pills and vitamins.
He takes the grape in his mouth, tracing your pout with his thumb. After a few moments pass when he drops a languid pool of spit over his come. You choke on the intrusion and are afforded no time to recover. He presses two tablets on the pile before making you take it all.
Palm across your mouth, his thumb caresses your throat. He’s got his fingers censoring you, guiding you.
You swallow with a retch and grimace before taking the rest.
He watches, expectant. Keigo snags a circular style, day of the week pill dispenser from an errant feather. Snaps the lid open and presents you with your haul for the morning.
“Go on,” he urges.
You present your palm to him… It dawns on you both that you were bleeding still.
“Damn it,” he scoffs. Runs off to a trunk in the corner and comes back with first aid. Regards the blood with a rough double take. “Fuck.”
“If it’s really that bad, maybe you should stop doing it. Food for thought.”
He turns your hand over, alcohol wipe in hand. Doesn’t give you any countdown, just starts scrubbing his scene.
“Fuck,” you hiss. “Son of a bitch…”
“Do you want the vitamins or not?”
“Are they going to put me in a good mood?”
“Ginger, garlic, and elderberry… mostly immune boosting. Best I can do. You know how I feel about you girls and drugs.”
You watch him, incredulous. “And just what does your little philosophy have to say about forcing sleeping pills on your wives so you don’t have to worry about them keeping up, hmm?”
“Finch, you’ve taken your punishment like a good girl.” He nurses his temple where he’s bound to have a migraine as well. “You can take a day off from being a brat, for once.”
You catch him in the low light. Seems he’s nursing a bruise to match. Onto your own scrutiny, his feathers cut you down before the gripe can draw breath.
His attentions never leave the work.
You pry your hand away, cradling the wound with a hiss. “It’s aftercare for me to watch you squirm, dickless.”
“Is that so…” Keigo sounds almost bored. He rolls his eyes, turning up the brightness of the room. “Well today it’s gonna be antibiotic ointment and gauze pads because someone decided to waste time with an attitude.”
Keigo dresses the wounds without dictation. You allow him his silence until an intrusive thought has you groaning.
“What is it now?”
You shake your head. “I can’t. It’s really bad.”
“Say your peace, Finch. I’m only one man and I have all of you to get through.”
You reel back with a wince, more hurt now than the slap across the face earlier.
The hand hangs limp in his own, touch matching his ever softening tone.
“No. That’s not… fuck.” A biting sigh. “I’m sorry. That’s hardly fair… How’m I supposed to call myself the fastest if I can’t even hack time management with my family.”
He returns his attentions to the inflamed palm. Draws you to his lips, all adoration.
“You know you can come to me with anything.”
And now he’s just gaslighting you.
Fingers splay across your neck and jaw… forcing your gaze, forcing your intimacy.
Your eyes well with tears when there’s nowhere to hide. He steals them away with a frown, lingering across the bruises that betray your sleep deprivation.
“Why are you crying?”
You push him with barely any fight left. “Please. Just go.”
As you thrash to get away, he can only fight to hold you closer. The pain spikes in an unforgiving swipe across your abdomen. You whine into his shoulder, shuddering into his arms.
He cradles your head to his chest with a soothing rock. Feathers run down your arms and back, all forgiveness.
“You know what would help…”
He’s the devil at your shoulder. You are fully aware of what he’s about to say.
“A baby won’t begin to fix this,” you break down. He has to strain to hear, this you know. “…won’t fix me.”
The warmth of his kiss bleeds under your skin. He thrums a gentle rap against your arm, just waiting for you to settle.
He shushes you, flying over his crimson helpers for an assist. A damp cloth. Dragon balm. Some medicinal chaser that tasted more like sewage runoff than remotely helpful.
Keigo carries you back to bed. He lays you down, spreads you out. You wince as he cleans his mess. Mercifully, you can’t see him. But you hear him. Feel him.
You make the sounds of him rustling with the cap. It’s mercifully warm on your abused muscles before the cooling menthol hits.
“Tell me the name.” Your blood runs cold as it registers what he’s asking of you.
He must’ve gotten to Magpie during their conjugal. Shit.
You swallow when he serves the crumbs anyways. “Little Birdie told me that our beloved Blue had heroic aspirations of her own, once upon a time.”
His touch roves over your legs to start, working the product into the meat of your thighs. He waits for what must feel like ages in his eyes… but it would never be long enough for you.
“C’mon. You’re really not gonna tell me?”
“Expect an answer, you’ll have to stop talking at some point,” you grouse.
Your breath catches on a strangled wail, meeting no resistance when he flips you.
“Quit your whining,” he snaps. “It’s all I ever hear from you. And fuck me for trying to make this marriage work, right?”
His touch is unrelenting. Prying the tension from the source, spreading his fingers over your lower back.
You try to reach out to him. Make him stop. Bat him away. Fight.
A feather nicks your hand away with the swipe of his whims.
“The name, Blue.” It’s not a grounding request anymore. “You give me the name, this all goes away.”
Starling flashes in mind and memory. If you could sleep, if you could dream—
“Freakebana!”
You curl in on yourself, pushing him with what little strength you have left from this ordeal. With any hope, your pride would be toll enough for him.
The one thing you had, gone in an instant. Precious and private, thoroughly yours. Now it was known to him. Sullied by his acknowledgement. He could twist your comfort and make it ugly—could do whatever he wanted, really.
Keigo was no stranger to it. This would be the least of his atrocities.
He nods to himself in quiet concert, seemingly mollified for now. Keigo leans beside you and presses a kiss over your bruising cheek. His idle touch traces the thrumming pulse before throwing the baby out with the bath water and simply scent marking your whole arm.
“Thank you,” he whispers into your wrist.
When Keigo rises from the bed, you keep yourself small. He crosses the room to the dresser. Out of the drawer and into his arms came the clothes meant for you.
You must have been a sorry sight if he’s dressing you in his boxer shorts and cotton undershirt over the negligée.
Again, woeful redundance. He’d disposed of your clothes in the first week, imposing a preference for nudity and teddies. What little he keeps on hand for himself, the only times your husband is liable to share are rare moments such as these.
Toe to toe, back to back.
He’s more patient coming back to you.
Two arms in each hole, ever minding your head as he finishes with the well worn v-neck. Right leg and the left until you’re left to your relative comforts.
“Just… I want you to think on it, yeah?”
You furrow your brow. “If this is about the fucking baby—”
On hands and knees, he remains unabashed in his desires. It’s an old tune, one he’s carried for years now.
A baby will cure your pain. A baby will give you purpose. A baby will soothe your broken heart.
Each and every argument has been run into the ground. He doesn’t need another mouth to feed, let alone want one. The others had been thrust into the position, far before their time or consent.
You were one of two holdouts, yes. But as ever, he remains a slave to his instincts. There were fledglings in his care and he craved their unborn siblings.
“I don’t want to fight,” he sighs. Scrubs a hand across his face like he actually believes it. “I just need you to know there’s an out for you. One that would make me very happy.”
You restrain yourself.
You let him kiss you.
You feel him leave your side.
Only when the door shuts behind him do you give yourself permission to fall apart.
Head pounding, pulse racing, a death rattle crawls from your lips.
The neon lighting bares down in an obtrusive vermilion that burns your eyes, ever the voyeur to your utter destruction.
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