#borg assimilation! yay!

[negative-speedforce]

for @occreatorexchange's bingo

For the prompt: Dark Fic

Featuring: My Star Trek OC Marie Kaneyama

CW: Medical Torture (referenced), Possession

Marie didn't know how long she had been laying there.

Her spine felt like it was on fire from where the drones had attached the cybernetic interface to her body, her chest had been cut open and her organs rummaged around in, and she couldn't feel her hand beyond the wrist, though when she tried to move her fingers, they reacted with a metallic 'clink'.

She didn't know what was going to happen to her. Most drones were assimilated into the hive mind within minutes, according to her research, but yet she remained an individual, albeit one who was currently flayed alive.

She was sure that the nanotechnology in her bloodstream was the only thing allowing her to think clearly through the pain. She could almost feel the tiny machines moving through her, altering her body from the inside out to service the Collective. They slowly numbed the pain, too slowly for Marie's preference, but it was better to suffer than to completely lose herself.

There was no chance she would ever see Qiara again. Either her mind would be taken from her, her consciousness eradicated by the Collective, or her she would die there on the table from blood loss, organ failure, or her body rejecting one of the implants that the drones had put inside her.

Vaguely, she heard footsteps coming down the hall. While she knew it was likely some drone coming to put her out of her misery in one way or another, some small part of her still held out hope. Maybe, somehow, someone had come to save her- no. She had allowed the Borg to take her to save her shipmates, and it was too damaged to come and find her.

Then, she saw her. She had seen pictures of the strange-looking woman before, in her history classes, but nothing could prepare her for the visceral fear that The Queen's presence filled her with.

She was tall, nearly as tall as Marie herself, her eyes were like pits of tar, soulless and effortlessly calm. Her skin was like that of a corpse, delicate trails of nanotechnology threading under her skin. Marie wondered if she looked like that now, but having her ribcage opened for the entire Collective to see occupied most of her thoughts at the moment.

"You're her. The Queen." Marie's voice was hoarse from the screams she'd made when the Borg ripped her open. "I thought Janeway took care of you."

"We adapted." The Queen replied. "Do you know why you are here?"

"Yeah, you guys like assimilating people and turning them into drones. I've heard it all before." Marie replied, managing to force a bit of sarcasm through her fear.

"Your willpower is stronger than any drone I have ever assimilated." The Queen ran a cold, metallic fingertip up Marie's jaw. "Romulan and human- such an ornery mix. You've been able to resist the Collective for almost two hours now. We can hear all your thoughts, but you can't hear ours. It's fascinating. Like that Qiara girl. You have such a fascination with her. Your thoughts are so preoccupied with her. Maybe we'll assimilate her, too."

"You keep your grubby hands off her!" Marie struggled against her restraints. She froze, watching in horror as the nanoprobes closed her chest wound, leaving a glimmering silver scar in its place. "...what are you doing to me?"

"This vessel has become old, and weak." The Queen replied. "With a willpower like yours, we could achieve perfection. You are going to become my next vessel. Resistance is futile."

"Do what you want, but I'm not going down without a fight." Marie bluffed, knowing she couldn't do anything to stop The Queen. "So spare yourself the trouble and find someone else."

"The most difficult endeavors are always the most rewarding." The Queen replied, stabbing tiny tubules into the implant connected to Marie's spine.

It was like being adrift in the ocean. Suddenly, the Collective was there, loud in her mind. She tried to resist, but she could feel herself being pulled ever lower under the cacophony of voices that had invaded her brain. She clawed for the surface, for some semblance of control, but it wasn't enough.

The voice that was Dr. Marie Kaneyama vanished into the hive mind, leaving her body fresh for the taking. The Queen's body collapsed with a resonant 'clank', the restraints on Marie's body pulling away for the new Queen to rise.

"We told you, Marie." The Queen tested out her new body, moving its fingers and rolling its shoulders as she stood up. "Resistance was futile."

[isagrimorie]

So in Tsunkatse not!Weyoun told Seven that people hated the Borg and would pay big money just to see a Borg Drone hurt.

I can only imagine xBs forced to fight in illegal underground fights.

Victimized by the Borg, hunted for parts, fighting in the illegal underground circuit.

Former Borg drone's lives suck.

Also, Seven has such an interesting relationship with the Hirogen. The third time Seven and Voyager encountered a Hirogen he was hunting Species 8472, the only entity to really give the Borg a run for their money.

And Seven and the Hirogen hunter had a brief moment of understanding, Seven feared Species 8472 because of that Seven deliberately disobeyed Janeway's order to save Species 8472.

Then this beauty:

Seven: One day the Borg will assimilate your species despite your arrogance. When that moment arrives remember me.

Fast forward to Star Trek Picard, and in the Artifact there is indeed a Hirogen ex-Borg.

Uh... yay?

Also, there was that one Hirogen in Tsunkatse that took Seven in as a student to help her survive Tsunkatse.

I love how in Picard S3 Worf classified Raffi as a Warrior.

And, Hirogens look at Seven fight and call her a Hunter.

I love all through the episode, Seven is disturbed by this, and it's because she's afraid what the Hirogen says is true.

She already has a lot of blood on her hands. As one former Red Room assassin said, Seven of Nine has a lot of red in her ledger.

Seven: The idea of killing someone for the entertainment of others is detestable. Tuvok: Is the idea of losing your own life for the entertainment of others more palatable?

Tuvok: As a drone, you took many lives. Seven: I was acting as part of the Collective. Tuvok: You're worried you won't have the strength to accomplish the task on your own.

Seven: I'm worried that I will.

In the end, Seven and the Hirogen mentor battled it out and it was a pretty even fight until Seven began to take the upper hand.

Before Seven would issue a killing blow they were both beamed out (Tuvok was the first who was beamed out).

The Hirogen hunter asks Seven if she would have killed him, Seven took a long pause before answering: "I don't know."

I love the ambiguity of that but also fast forward 20 years later:

After 13 years, Seven of Nine finally found her quarry and killed Bjayzl.

The Hirogen fighter would have been proud.

[porgthespacepenguin]

Thoughts about episode 2.8 (3/3)

Finally, I’m done with this episode. Oh, who am I even kidding, I’ll be back. I’m a woman possessed.

(By the way, watch out for an upcoming post about episode 2.1 because with the benefit of hindsight, this episode was unhinged. They’re toying with us.)

This time, I’ll start with plot things, before I go again on an inevitable Qcard tangent.

(Spoilers under the cut, you know the drill.)

Agnes goes to war

So, finally some movement on the A-plot front. Frankly, I’m relieved. We have only two episodes to go, and team Picard is all over the place:

Q is dying, has no powers, and cannot help them,

Rios has two civilians on board,

Guinan and Picard just lost a day with FBI!Guy,

They have no way home without the Borg queen,

In fact, they have no way home at all,

The Europa launch is in 19 hours,

The Queen has teamed up with Soong to prevent it,

And now she’s assimilating soldiers...

Need I go on?

Given that Queen Agnes needs to travel to the future somehow, and given that La Sirena is already borgified, I’m relatively certain she’ll manage to take over the ship.

Soong, despondent at finally facing some consequences for his actions, has clearly decided who to blame:

Even without his powers, Q is more than a match for Soong, on every conceivable level. But with every minute that passes, Q is weakening a little more, and Soong, already a dangerous man, has nothing to lose. So watch out, Q, please. You have enough problems without a powerful enemy.

The Queen explains to Soong that he has a choice to make:

“(...) two possible futures. One leads to you bringing humanity back from the edge of exinction. They’ll call you ‘the father of the future’. Your statues will grace capitols. Or you die alone, no glory. Forgotten in a pool of your own 90-proof vomit.”

Well, when you put it like that...

Of course, there’s a third option:

“Or... atonement, maybe even... forgiveness?”

But that would require some soul-searching, and wouldn’t get him any statues, so Soong doubles down and sides with the Borg Queen, bringing his considerable means to her cause: money, access to satellites, soldiers...

At least the man is consistent. Consistently evil, but consistent.

So team!Picard is dramatically outgunned and outnumbered. How are they ever going to pull it off?

They probably won’t.

In fact, I suspect things are going to spiral until we’re circling the metaphorical drain: one despair event horizon, potentially coming to your screens in episode 10. Yay?

But because this is Star Trek, this will be the darkest hour before the dawn, and they’ll manage to eke out a win at the last moment.

But it may cost them more than they imagine.

The Agnesification of the Borg

Speaking of the Borg Queen: in my post about episode 2.7, I wrote about the borgification of Agnes; turnabout being fair play, time to flip that thought upon itself.

We know, from 2.1, that the new Queen is different:

The Queen asks for Picard’s help, and later expresses a wish for peace. Utterly unprecedented, for the Borg, who normally behave quite differently, consuming everything in their path like locusts.

At the time of Star Trek: Picard, the Borg are shells for their former selves,

“(…) effectively decimated, functionally hobbled.”

Their civilization is essentially destroyed.

Yet here comes along a new queen, with a new fleet, from somewhere else. And her behavior is at odds with what Starfleet expects from the Borg, seeking negotiation over agression, integration over assimilation.

Something has changed – but what?

Enter Agnes.

Agnes, whose deep, abiding loneliness made her long for the perfect togetherness only the Borg could provide: who has not been assimilated so much as has assimilated herself.

In 2.8, although Agnes is still fighting, the Borg Queen has clearly taken the reins, and Agnes is fading. She’s killing people, eating batteries and behaving like a Borg instead of a human.

But when the Queen tries to kill Raffi, Agnes wakes up and refuses, walking away.

Later, as Raffi wonders that Agnes didn’t kill her, Seven remarks,

Indeed. Mercy is a human quality.

“It’s a Jurati quality.”

Much as the Borg Queen is changing Agnes, so is Agnes changing the Borg Queen in turn. And most likely, they’ll keep changing each other until only the best qualities of both remain.

As Agnes said to the Queen in 2.6 (an episode named “Two of One”!):

“It’s by design (…) 50/50, remember?”

Ultimately, this season of Picard is about the successful integration of the self. Fighting both sides of yourself is not the answer: reconciling them is.

Most prominently, of course, Picard needs to reconcile his brain and his heart. Agnes, on the other hand, needs to integrate her humanity with the Borg in order to chart a new course for them as a species.

Raffi vs. Picard, Heart vs. Brain

Raffi and Picard. What a fascinating pair.

The show cleverly plays them off each other as reverse images of two emotional extremes sharing a similar wound: a desperate fear of loss. 

But when their fear of loss is triggered, the way they react to it is diametrically opposite.

Raffi reacts with her heart and let her feelings overrule her judgement. She clings and manipulates, plucking on the emotional strings of others to get the reassurance she desperately needs: she praises Seven for her ‘Borgness’, guilts Elnor into staying, shames Picard for Elnor’s death… The list goes on.

Picard, her mirror, reacts with his brain and lets his logical mind takes over and shuts down his emotions, using virtue and duty as a shield, at times behaving more like an admiral than a friend.

He just doesn’t let himself get too attached to anyone. If everyone is temporary, and nobody takes root in his heart, then their inevitable loss will be survivable.

Both of them deflect any attempt at vulnerabilty. Raffi shields herself with dark, self-disparing jokes, and Picard with emotional distance:

Raffi and Picard need to find a middle path between the heart and the brain, and ultimately a healthier way to interact with others.

Mirrors, I tell you.

Considering all this, I find this parallel, shall we say… worrying?

Are they really going to do this to us? Have Q die in Picard’s arms?

(If you need me, I’ll be in the drawing room. Crying. In the dark. Thanks.)

Trios and Qcard

Oh, look, a Qcard tangent! Honestly, is anybody surprised at this point?

Because of Tumblr’s dumb-as-a-brick image limit, however, this section is now its own separate post.

That said, I encourage you to read it because CHOICES WERE MADE, and this show is unhinged for it.

Not, mind you, that I’m complaining.

That’s all folks

For now, at least.

If you’ve followed my ramblings across all three posts, I must commend your saintly patience and thank you heartily for reading. ❤️

Or, if you haven’t, and for some reason have a itch for more incoherent ranting:

And more: masterpost.

Episode 2.8 Part 1 (Q-card)

Episode 2.8 Part 2 (Soong vs. Q)

Also, feel free to ask me anything, should it tickle your fancy.

(I’d also encourage to read @celestialwarzone​‘s excellent metas if you haven’t already:

Cirque du soleil (Q and the sun)

Through a door, lightly

The meta to end all metas (upcoming)

You certainly won’t regret it.)

Read more:

[Back to part 1] [Back to part 2]

[datasbride]

Juraty: why do we have to wear this monstrosity?

The Borg Queen: this is not clothes. It's an organ. It regulates assimilation and stabilizes connection.

J: now I feel naked

BQ: clothes have no practical use in the controlled environment of a starship.

J: they make me happy. I actually enjoyed that red dress! And I generally like wearing lighter tones.

BQ: irrelevant.

J: irrelevant? When I'm happy you get more control. Keeping me happy is very practical for you.

BQ [sigh]: fine. We will get some light colored clothes on the next base we find.

J: Yay! Shopping!

BQ [rolls her eyes]

[dcbnam-aep]

Star Trek Picard 205 thoughts

- ancestor interesting

- *opening credit scene*

- AGNES BORG SCENE??? YES PLS

- is she taking control of the ship???

- agnes where u at somethings going on??

- rios voice authorisation king

- borg what r u doing??

- “I know you” awwww 🥰🌈

- our fav gfs breaking out a bunch of prisoners

- ahh hallucination owch

- “I’ve got ur back you’ve got mine, right?” 🥰🌈

- i like them dealing with important relevant issues

- loving soji’s new (old??) haircut

- i bet the 3d printer thing and communication is the borg queen (ok like it spelt the letter Q which is sus but it also looks like the og borg cube and the stuff she was doing earlier on the la sirena was sus plus it then cut to the police scene she led to the investigation of sooo)

- AGNES WAKE UP

- also how did the police guy not notice her what!?!?

- he’s gonna have the fright of his life (and probably be assimilated)

- yup there we go

- agnes?!?!?!

- nvm was Q not the borg queen lol-

- these characters could be so chaotic and destructive together oh my-

- over halfway through the ep and all ive got is one shot of agnes asleep this is not the content im here for

- Picard just gonna rock up at this funky party haha

- rendezvous with crew yes pls agnes will pop off at a party filled with other geniuses

- also forgot to mention this before but rios speaking Spanish 😍

- when did this turn into horror what

- bestie waking up jeez

- stop what is the borg doing leave her the fuck alone

- enough mental manipulation leave her alone

- “bullshit” yes

- “it’s you I want”- this is weird flirting what?

- alone on every single timeline not true agnes I will take care of u

- “stop talking” leave bestie alone

- “im the only one in the entire universe that has ever truly seen you”

- agnes stay strong

- ok she needs to kill him

- kajjd ok good job bestie just assuming she did shoot him

- irrelevant side note- keep going to refer to agnes as queen cause shes such an icon but then I keep remembering I can’t because there’s the actual borg queen lol

- awww sweet scene that’s nice finally

- wait this is so sad bc she’s actually human which mean she’s gonna die so that soong can then base synthetics off her

- ahh someone give jurati a hug rios go go go

- oh shit she shot the borg queen damnnnn

- NOT RIOS IMMEDIATELY MOVING TOWARDS AGNES AND CHECKING SHES OK *INTERNAL SCREAMING*

- AND NOT AGNES BEING “ITS NOT MY BLOOD” AS THOUGH THATS A GOOD ENOUGH EXCUSE LET HIM COMFORT U

- someone give her a hug NOW

- agnes feeling bad for the borg queen rlly hurts cause that’s how manipulated shes been omfg

- also someone get her a change of clothes

- THE WAY SHES BLOCKING OUT ALL HER EMOTIONS TO GET THROUGH THIS WHICH MEANS SHES ACTING LIKE THE BORH ANYWAY OWCH

- im mentally sending her so many hugs right now omfg

- picard trying to prove his crew is trustworthy as they drag a “im sure not dead” cop out their star ship

- ok she got a change in clothes and cleaned herself up good

- im slightly confused ab the eps promo now tho cause it looked like agnes was being invaded with nano-bots

- it keeps cutting to agnes looking completely nonchalant 🥲🥲

- awww PLS SHES SUCH A NERD LOML

- “Jurati had all the skills we need”- finally getting the recognition she deserves

- Rios have some faith in her

- THE RED DRESS POP OFF LOVE HER SO MUCH AND HER SMILE AHHH

- THIS IS THE CONTENT IM AFTER

- not them both downing drinks kskjd

- agnes the party crasher

- yay purposefully getting herself arrested

- OMG THE FLASHBACK NOOO

- THIS IS SO SAD NO AGNES

- HER FACE OMG ✋😫

- “u need me agnes”

- WAIT NO SHES BEEN ASSIMILATED WHAT

- I LOWKEY CALLED IT BUT STILL-

- RLLY SO EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE THAT SHE LET THE BORG QUEEN IN

- SHE WAS GOING SO WELL UNTIL THEN- SHOT HER AND EVERYTHING

- AKJSJDHHF

- RIOS GIVE HER A HUG

- AJSJHD

- IF ONLY THEYD GOT BACK TO THE SHIP SOONER

- LIKE WHY THE FUCK DID PICARD LEAVE HER ALONE IN THE FIRST PLACE

- AT LEAST SHES NOT ALONE!?!?!?

- and the borg queen at her shoulder in the end scene

- BRAIN CURRENTLY IN OVERDRIVE

- KAIUDUD I NEED THE NEXT EPISODE RIGHT NOW. FULL STOP FOR EMPHASIS.

[wildishmazz]

Who's that body?

I've seen a few people guess Chakotay, and that could be his uniform, but if it's a named character we've previously met I reckon it's Icheb.

Most superficially, he's too skinny to be Chakotay. Seven's arms wouldn't reach so far around his shoulders. His hair doesn't quite look right either, and though his face is mostly obscured, enough of his forehead is visible beyond his hairline that I think his tattoo would be visible.

Considering the known and popularly speculated elements of the franchise at the focus of this series, Seven sobbing over a dead Chakotay would be too irrelevant to include in the trailer.

This clip immediately follows a voiceover of Picard saying "The past is written", and shows her for the only time in any of the trailers so far with her hair looking one of the ways it did on Voyager. The implication would seem to be that it's a flashback. The next time we hear from her, she says in voiceover that she helps people who have no-one else to help them, and the next we see her, she's Ripleying her way through what looks like the Borg-to-Android processing facility with guns blazing. The further implication would seem to be that the two incidents are both subsequent and consequent. She's become a badass vigilante liberator because of the dead body from the past.

If it was Chakotay, why would his death spur her to fight for the ex-Borg?

More broadly, we are not yet so gender equal as a society that a woman being spurred to action by the death of a lover is viewed the same way, and will have the same impact, as a man being spurred to action by the death of a lover. It will still be more impactful and resonant to a massive chunk of the audience for a woman to be spurred to action by the death of a child.

It's easier to refer to maternal instinct than try to convince everybody that she felt as protective of her man as the stereotypical man does of his woman.

Seven did not have children, biologically. But she did pretty much adopt the four Borg children Voyager found that one time, including a teenaged boy, Icheb. He remained on Voyager when the other three were rehomed on the planet one of them(Mezoti) had originally come from. He came to earth.

They seem to remember that he existed, as evidenced by the shot of her shooting up the android factory, in which her cortical node(on the end of her eyebrow implant) is particularly prominent. That's a component Icheb donated to her, to save her life, risking his own in the process(though it turned out he didn't really need it because he hadn't been fully assimilated yet when they found him). She very nearly didn't let him do it.

Icheb looked almost completely deassimilated, the last time we saw him. From behind he looked completely humanoid. He looked like the body she's cradling in that clip. And if he, a young man she felt responsible for and protective of, had been murdered for his Borg tech like all the other drones seem to be being, that would work to put her on the warpath to save others like him.

Now the thorny thing is that Manu Intiraymi, who played Icheb, has turned out to be a really nasty piece of work in real life. I don't like the thought of him being included in the show, or any Star Trek iteration.

However. If Icheb's only appearance is in a flashback where he's a teenager, Intiraymi is too old to play him. And if he's dead, he can't come back for any further appearances. He's been fridged. So... yay?

Of course, it's entirely possible that they just won't mention the body's name at all.

[captain-janeway]

Please do not be a Borg Origin Story

First of all, nobody asked for a Borg origin story in Disco. Second of all, the Borg already exist before Disco takes place. Captain Archer (whom we have already gotten a reference to by Admiral Cornwell) encountered the Borg about 100 years before Discovery. 

So, not only would this not make sense, control and the borg have very different operating strategies. The Borg did not want to wipe out all sentient beings, they wanted to assimilate it for their knowledge. They took souls of each species, instead of killing them. Control, just wants to kill everything (Robot uprising, yay, how original). 

Also this plot would be kinda depressing given we already know the outcome with the Borg (Captain Janeway, AKA QUEEN, defeats them). 

[irl-gideon-nav]

watching a patient get assimilated by a Borg Queen at eight percent power must be a therapist's biggest dream and greatest nightmare all at once. like. yay unfiltered subconscious thoughts. but also. oh boy unfiltered subconscious thoughts.

[calliecat93]

ST: TNG S5 Watchthrough Episodes 22-25

Imaginary Friend: An officer is concerned about his daughter, Clara, having an imaginary friend as he worries that she’s not making real friends. Troi assures him that it’s not an issue and perfectly innocent and will fade as she settles and makes real friends… except her friend Isabella isn’t quite as imaginary as everyone believes. Or at least she was imaginary… until a ball of light alien got on board and took up becoming Isabella. What is it with this show and alien balls of light that causes problems?! So when I read the description, I was expecting to dislike it going off the summary alone. Like I said with Hero Worship, this feels more like an episode you’d see in a children's show. Which things go exactly as I’d expect in this kind of episode, the not-to-imaginary-friend causes problems that get the other kid into trouble and wreaks havoc. Kinda like that one Powerpuff Girls episode Imaginary Fiend, only we get to see the imaginary friend she she is far creepier than Patches was. I just feel bad for Clara. She’s a sweet little girl who's both lonely and due to Isabella getting them into trouble or made to do things she otherwise wouldn’t do. Isabella comes off as one of those toxic friends who bullies and pressures the others into doing things they know they shouldn’t do and oh golly is that relatable no matter the age. This episode is just cute. Not overly-so, we still have the Problem of the Week courtsey of Isabella, but still they managed to make what would otherwise be a childish or horrifying episode depending on how they played it into something cute without overdoing it. I can imagine this being a good one for adult ST fans to watch with their young kids. It made me think back to when I was that age for sure. I was very much the kind of kid who tried to listen to my parents/grown-ups, but it didn’t alway work out and I did get shifted around to different schools for a bit (finally settled on one by First Grade) so I could relate to Clara on that level. Like I said, just a nice, easy to watch episode and one that I think kid viewers can relate to. 3/5.

I Borg: Yep folks, we’re finally checking in on the Borg again. So here’s a scenario: as we know, the Borg are all part of one collective hive mind, tight? Well… what happens when one becomes seperate from that collective? Well in this episode, the crew find one of the Borg on an Away Mission who had crashed onto a planet. While pretty much everyone else wants to leave him as dead, Crusher refuses and has him brought onto the ship for treatment with Geordi assigned to observe him. Needless to say, as this is the first showing on the Borg since The Best of Both Worlds, the effects of that episode still run deep. Picard is still traumatized and haunted by what the Borg did to him and while he tries to keep it internalized, he’s… not handeling having a Borg on board well. Thia includes making a plan to essentially infect the Bog an send him to poison the entire collecive. Yep, Picard is planning genocide with Crusher being the only one against this plan, though Geordi later sides with her. Even Guinan is all for it. It’s understandable due to what happened to Picard and the viewpoint that the Borg are essetially mindless drones… but Dear Lord that’s messed up. This does allow some more exploration for the Borg. As it turns out the one they rescued is named Hugh, and he’s actually not a bad guy at all. He’s a very curious, almost child-like being and as Crusher and Geordi interact with him, it’s clear that he’s formed a sense of individuality to the point of not wanting to rejoin the collective. He’s not even being malicious with the asimilation threats, he legit doesn’t realize that it’s a bad thing, and is open to explaining how things work and let them examine his parts.

This was an excellent episode. I’ve been wondering if they’d show the Borg again, and not only did they but they took a fantastic approach. The themes of individuality, assimilation, and humanity are very well done. While I morally disagree with Picard’s plan, I fully understand why he feels that way and not even just due to trauma. The Borg will keep assimilating and assimilating until nothin is left… but is it right for us to eradicate them? Hugh shows that they can develop the concept of individuality and as the others interact with him, they find that they can’t go through with it. Even Picard, when acting as Locoutus to test Hugh, finds that indeed he can’t go through with it. Which makes the ending even sadder when Hugh chooses to go back to not endanger the Enterprise. There’s a brief hint that he retained his individuality as he’s taken away while Geordi watches… but it’s still just so sad. Hugh is great and he hdeserved better dang it! But yeah, I really enjoyed this one. In fact, it may be late in the seaosn, but I think that we finally got one deserving of a perfect score~! Yay~!!! 5/5.

The Next Phase: When assisting a damaged Romulan vessel, Geordi and Ro get lost during transport. Well… now you see why McCoy and Pulaski hated the things. They are assumed dead… but of course one of the mains and a regular reccuring character aren’t going to be offed like that unless their name is Tasha Yar. They’re alive, but to put it simply, they’re ghosts. They can see everyone else, but no one can see them nor can they physically interact with anything except each other. I guess this is what Kirk was going through from his POV in The Tholian Web XD Ro is convinced that they’re legit dead while Geordi thinks that something else is going on. There’s some really nice, somber moments here. Data askin to conduct the memorial service, Ro thanking Picard even if he can’t see/hear her, Data and Worf discussing how best to present the service and Data talking about how Geordi accepted him… it’s some really nice stuff here. Ro’s reactiont o Riker wanting to do a eulogy for her was also amusing XD Anyways, I don’t understand the science behind what happened, but it was fun to see Geordi and Ro work together and piece it all together. The fight between Ro and te bad guy was also cool and also hilarious. You’d have to see it to get why XD But yeah, another solid episode with a fun plot, nice character moments, and a cool dynamic with Ro and Geordi. Also Data’s way of conducitng a memorial service and Ro and Geordi’s respective reactions? Perfect. 4/5.

The Inner Light: Picard passes out… and wakes up with his wife concerning leaning over him. Picard is now Kamin and he is in a village where everyone seems to know who he is. He’s understandably confused but goes along with it, and it soon becomes normal life for him. We all know Picard by now. He’s serious, focused, diplomatic, and married to his job. He gave up any chance at a normal, domestic life when he signed up for Starfleet and he never looked back. In this episode, he is given the chance to have that life. He clings to his Starfleet ambitions at first… but he ends up investing in this new life. He has a wife. He had children. He’s part of a pretty tight-knit community. Picard gets the life that he claimed that he never wanted, and finds that maybe that’s not quite true. To the Enterprise, whose left with Picard’s unconscious body, it’s mere moments. For Picard? It’s for 30 years. He even goes through having grandchildren for goodness sake! It’s an interesting episode with some strong emotional moments, such as Picard’s wife dying and the ending of the episode. It’s one of Patrick Stewart’s best performances for sure, and that’s saying a lot! Mind you… considering that it isn’t real it kinda muddies the impact up a bit and the probe putting Picard through that while I understand the reason… is pretty shitty. Did Picard REALLY need a second mass trauma?! Though I supposed it was very much real to Picard. How do you go back to life as it was after that? He’ll certainly carry the memory of those people forever, as the ending signifies. God that ending… I was doing alright until then, and that’s when I finally started tearing up. One heck of an episode for sure. 4/5.

Alright folks one more episode to go along with the S6 premiere and S5 will be done~! We’re so close to finally finishing the series~! Yay for accomplishment~!!!

[arcadia75]

Before Dishonor Discussion - Star Trek: Voyager Book Club

The April book for the @voyager-book-club​ was the TNG book Before Dishonor by Peter David.  When TNG was on, Peter David was one of my favorite Trek authors.  I can’t say this book is awful, but he definitely writes the TNG characters better than the two Voyager characters in this book.

I had a lot of negative preconceived thoughts about this book going into it.  It sets up an event that is pivotal for the first of Kirsten Beyer’s Voyager relaunch books.  I gave a summary in one of our discord chats, “99% of the book she [Kathryn Janeway] is the Borg Queen, and then she’s just dead.”  Which is pretty much all you need to know about the book.

Here are some of my random thoughts I jotted down my Kindle app while I was reading this book:

“She’s [KJ] obsessed with the Borg.”

“Really? Hasn’t she violated orders dozens of times?  Not sure this in in character.”

“I think Janeway would have asked for help.”

“Aww, she has a picture.” (referring to the fact Seven keeps a picture of the Voyager crew in her quarters)

Kate?  Uh, just no.

I do love Lady Q.

Ok, kinda like the Borg vs Q.

P/C, my first ship!

Assuming this is in another book? (referring to Geordi’s story about Reannon)

Little on the nose there (when Geordi thinks the computer’s voice reminds him of Lwaxanna Troi)

P/C might be the only redeeming thing in this book

Stop calling her Kate!

Bye Pluto.  How dare the Borg eat Pluto

Really, did it have to be called Project Endgame?

This scene was kinda funny (referring to the scene where Nechayev is trying to relieve Picard of command and everyone is refusing)

Seven is making a naked Seven joke?

So who’s writing the Jellico/Nechayev fanfic?

She [T’Lana] really is a Vulcan bitch

Yay Spock!

I’ve always liked Worf

If she has no secrets, they [Seven & KJ] could have had one hell of a conversation about Chakotay

They actually used the word bitch in a Star Trek book

Does Seven really call her Kathryn?  It’s kinda weird

Ok, maybe I’m a little happy Seven lived

This is bullshit.  Picard would know who Chakotay is.  And “strange tattoos”? Culturally insensitive

She seems surprisingly ok with being dead.  Doesn’t she think about Chakotay??

I get why there was no angst on Janeway’s part about Chakotay, because all the J/C-ness was created by Beyer in the subsequent books.  But since I’ve read those first, this book now seems like it’s missing something.

Picard/Crusher was my first foray into “shipping”  before I knew what shipping was, so I’m happy to see them finally together.  Seems like they have a good solid relationship by this point that is not really interfering with the ship’s operations.  I guess it’s probably slightly easier when you’re Captain and CMO and not say Captain and First Officer. ;)

The whole, new Enterprise personnel vs long tenured Enterprise personnel did not do it for me at all.  Frankly the newbies all came off like a bunch of whiny millennials to me.  And who the fuck made T’Lana a counselor?  She must be the worst counselor ever.  She was my absolute least favorite character in the book by far.

I think it’s totally believable that the Borg would adapt their strategy of assimilation.  Honestly the Borg seem just as obsessed with humans as they are with the Borg.  Kinda of un-Borg like if you ask me.  I know that this book sets up other TNG books featuring the Borg, which I’m probably not going to read.  I got the jist of what happened from Kristen Beyer’s books.

Lastly, this really is another “Seven saves the day” story.  Although she doesn’t totally save the day as Janeway dies.  But I guess she does save Earth.  I think after 17 years, I’ve finally gotten over my visceral hatred of Seven. :)  I was really pissed that she stole Chakotay in Endgame, lol.  

So in conclusion, I didn’t hate it, I definitely didn’t love it.  I probably could have lived without reading it and still been fine.  

[whatevenisfookinstartrek]

OKAY EVERYONE JUST READ ALL OF THIS :gun:

time for another Star Trek double episode, yay!

.

.

.

the show starts with this, but you all have ADHD so here you can read it in peace LOL

so ....

What are the Borg?

poor Picard being assimilated at one point, probably killing all his friends, yay!

here you can see him being cute and probably killing all his friends: 

it was a big battle and many people died.  :crycat:

now, the real show of DS9 starts 3 years after this battle on Wolf 359

--------------------------------------------------

OKAY WHAT ELSE IS IMPORTANT????

This is the planet Bajor:

and these are Bajorans. (you can recognize them because of their cute noses!!!! and their ear ring, they wear it for religious reasons) 

The space station DEEP SPACE NINE is in the orbit of the planet Bajor. But ... the space station was never bajoran. Why not???? BECAUSE IT WAS THE SPACE STATION OF THE “EVIL” GUYS! Bajor was occupied by Cardassians :crycat: 

The Cardassians. they look like this: 

Bajorans were enslaved by Cardiassians. And they, for example, worked on Terok Nor as slaves to process further the ore from mines. BLAH BLAH BLAH :crycat: But now, after many years, the occupation of Bajor is OVER :D YAY! The Bajorans ARE FREE AGAIN!!!! And the old Cardassian space station “Terok Nor” is now under the administration of the Federation/Starfleet. They want to help the Bajorans to rebuild their society etc. uwu 

IT’S IMPORTANT THAT THEY HELP THE BAJORANS SO THAT THE CARDASSIANS REALLY FUCK OFF

okay. old name was Terok Nor, now it’s Deep Space Nine. 

Thank you for coming to my TREK talk. 

[sarahaltmanposts]

At long last, I found it!

January 7, 2019

I kept waiting to have the experience.  I watched others around me experience it on my behalf, but I had yet to feel it myself.  I was beginning to wonder, would I ever feel the relief of ridding cancer?

It has been ten months since my diagnosis.  A busy ten months, for sure.  Tests. Surgery- boobs gone. Port placed (ouch). Chemo- 16 of ‘em.  More surgery- fake boobs placed. Lots more tests.  And finally, port removed (ouch again!).  And yay!  I am FINALLY done.  It’s official- I am cancer free.  

I kept waiting.  My expectation was that I would experience a huge sense of relief, or accomplishment, or overwhelming joy.  But it didn’t come.  

When I completed that last chemo and the nurses sang to me, sure, I was happy.  No more of that chemo stuff is good.  But it wasn’t an overwhelming ‘whew, I’m done’ kind of feeling.

And when word came back that my PET scan was clear, I wept with joy.  It felt really good knowing that it was no longer in me. But again, I didn’t feel a huge sense of relief, that final exhale releasing all that stuff I’d been carrying.

So I thought, “Well, I’m still going through a lot of tests and doctor’s appointments. Maybe it will come after I finally get my port removed.” The port had become a symbol in my cancer journey.  It was placed in my chest where it created a big bulge under my skin that made me feel that I was waiting to be assimilated by the Borg on Star Trek. It served its purpose for sure, carrying  drugs to my body without damaging my veins. But it was very uncomfortable and a constant reminder of what we were trying to remove from my body. So the port removal was more exciting to me than getting my breast implants.  I thought I would certainly have that sense of relief once it was taken out.  But nope.  As we drove home from the surgery, I cried a bit because it was such a milestone.  But mostly I comforted my husband, who had finally experienced his big sense of relief at the completion of this whole, challenging event.

So I waited.  

I began taking the medication I will most likely be taking for the next ten years to ensure that my hormone fed tumors don’t return.  The list of side effects from the medication are daunting: nausea, dizziness, hot flashes, mood swings etc.  Basically, the medication sends my body into a (second) menopause.  Lovely. After several weeks on the medication, I’ve experienced the hot flashes and the moodiness; some low lows, but nothing too new for me.  Manageable for sure.

And then one day, it happened.  Just like that.  It snuck in there just when I least expected.  It was during the holiday break and my husband had taken the boys out to a movie.  I was busy baking cookies, listening to Christmas music and I glimpsed out my window to catch the most beautiful sunset.  It stopped me dead in my tracks.  

I.  AM.  CANCER. FREE.

I am still here.  I get to enjoy this beautiful life surrounded by so much love, abundance, joy and laughter.  It was a high I hadn’t experienced in such a long time.  I was almost giddy.  And yes, you know me dear reader,  I cried.

And the feeling carried into the next several days. I felt it as I enjoyed dinner with my friends on Christmas Eve.  I felt it as I sat back and watched my boys open their presents on Christmas day; there was such a pure sense of peace and joy that day, it is etched in my memory. I felt it as I held my husband’s hand and turned to look into his eyes and caressed his face in a way I hadn’t done in many, many months. And I felt it as I looked in the mirror and saw a reflection of the woman I knew from before. The whole, complete, cancer free woman.  Less hair than before, sure.  But there I was.  I was still here.  And I finally, finally felt it.

This must be what I’ve heard others describe who have survived life threatening illness or experiences.  Seeing the colors of the world brighter and more radiant and having a  new lease on life.  For me, it’s showing up a little differently. I’m finding my inspiration again.  I feel energized like I did in my thirties as I began my career in Casting.  I feel a sense of gumption and chutzpah that’s propelling me forward. I want to live large again.  I don’t want to hold back.  The Sarah that is pragmatic and practical has diminished, having been replaced with one who wants to take chances.

But I’m unsure if I can trust this. Is this merely a reaction to what I’ve gone through?   Could this be a side effect of the medicine?  A counter to my low, lows?

I remember having a friend in AA who shared that in the first year of sobriety, he was encouraged not to make any life-altering decisions- like moving to a new state or making big purchases.  I wonder if the same holds true for the first year following a brush with mortality?  

I guess only time will tell if this is temporary or if the experience of the past nine months has left a permanent mark that is changing the trajectory of my future.  I’m aware of a sense of entitlement present that may be affecting my decision making.  A kind of attitude that ‘I deserve to get what I want.  And shoot, if I’m gonna die, I might as well live the way I want to now’.  And that’s the part that I’m unsure if I can trust.  After all, my decisions affect my whole family.

Here’s what I do know.  Entitlement thoughts aside, I LOVE this feeling.  There’s an energy of possibility that I’m riding and it feels really good.  It fuels me.  It feels like Divine whispers coming through me.  It excites me.  It motivates me.  So for now, I’m gonna ride the wave.  I’ll keep following my heart and trust that the Universe will provide and that there are enough check points in place to keep me from going overboard.

Please don’t picture me leaping through a meadow of greens with rainbows and music in the background. These highs are not sustained through every moment of my day.  I still experience daily normalcy and challenges.  But nowadays it’s like the foundation that my experiences rest on has shifted. My starting point has been raised, if that makes any sense.

So yay to life and love and laughter!  Yay to the research that has led to the release of disease in my body.  Yay to opportunities, possibility and gentle whispers.  Yay to being cancer free.  

I am blessed.

In loving,

Sarah

[calliecat93]

Star Trek Episodes 21-24

The Return of the Archons: Well... that was nuts. Ot to mention lowkey terrifying with the whole assimilation thing. Is this like the Borg from TNG? Anyways, this one was pretty creepy. The whole ‘brainwashed into a collective councious’ concept has always creeped me out (boy is TNG gonna be fun with the Borg and all...) so that added some discomfort from the get-go. It’s like a cult essentially. The bad guy being some kind of super computer and Kirk pretty much using complex logic to kill it isn’t shocking, pretty sure astar Trek created that plot device, but still works for the episode and shows how a computer can have the knowledge and assist in guidance, but not the soul of human wisdom. Not too irrelevant a message tbh. This isn’t an uncommon kind of plot but points for being the first episode to legit give me the creeps. Also points for the crews old-timey outfits. Very snazy! 3.5/5

Space Seed: Ah, we have finally reached the Khan episode. I know all about this guy and The Wrath of Khan, somthis is one I’ve been greatly looking forward to. The highlight is, of course, the great Ricardo Montalban as Khan. The man was a brilliant actor, and it’s just as rrue here with him giving a lot of charm and ambition to what could have easily been a dull character if done wrong. Although him being an evil overlord from the 90’s is the most hilarious thing ever considering I’m fairly sure that never happened (fairly sure, anyhow). The guy is also a manipulative creep with how he charms McGivers into betraying the fleet so that he can take control and I kinda feel bad for her at the end since she chooses to stay with him instead of face court martial. I kind ofmwish that had just decided to send her to court martial since she DID ultimateley help them in the end and I know that it doesn’t end well for her by the time The Wrath of Khan happens, but hey it was her choice in the end and was fully aware of the consequences by helping Khan. The villain very much carries the episode and I can see why they brought him back for The Wrath of Khan, which I now have proper context for when I get to that. I DO feel like Kirk and the others should have known better than to let Khan read the manuals and such, but they didn’t know he was evil until it was too late while I did know, so meh. I have episodes I prefer to this, but Khan is very much a stand-out villain which makes the episode worth a watch. 4/5.

A Taste of Armageddon: Well... this is an episode that stood the test of time. This is an episode on computerized warfare, something that to this day remains a threat. They essentially tried to make a painless war, but also cause a war to continue and have people killed just to match a computerized casualty list. It’s chilling, to say the least. No one likes war of course, but this is equally dehumanizing and horrifying. The message at the end about how war reminds us of the horrors so that we can prevent it and the importance of deplomacy, despite the difficulties, were very impactful. How we can’t feign peace in such a manner or risk dehumanization. Also Scotty was freakin’ awesome in this episode, especially when he refused the diplomat’s orders until he knew about what happened to Kirk and the landing party. That is loyalty right there. As I said, this episode has stood the test of time and with the increased use of computers and such, maybe this is one that’s worth looking at every once in a while. Just as a reminder. 4/5

This Side of Paradise: What is it with this show and screwing up people’s brains/personalities? The Naked Time, Miri (sorta), Dagger of the Mind, The Return of the Archons, heck even Shore Leave to a minor, more light-hearted degree. Guess this is also where the S** Pollen trope originated from, not sure if I should be satisfied by that or not. Anyways, looks like this time we get Spock having old flames and see him in an uncharacteristic emotional state since The Naked Time, and once again due to outside influence. Still, the riddance of negative emotion isn’t a new concept (well maybe it was in the 60’s...) but well-done here and with everyone but Kirk infected, the danger feels real. He normally at least had Spock in prior incidents, but even he’s been turned. The shot of Kirk. Ompleteley alone on the bridge, everyone having deserted him and allowing both him and us to grt s sense of how big and empty the Enterprise truly is without it’s crew... damn, that was well executed. The when Kirk gets hit, it feels utterly hopeless until he snaps out of it by being reminded of his duty and getting angry about it. Him using bigotry to snap Spock out of it was shocking and uncomfortable to lksten to even though we know that Kirk doesn’t mean it, but it was that or Spock remain an infatuated zombie forever... and now I fear angry Spock over all else. Good thing that he’s a Vulcan, haha. Also love how McCoy didn’t even need to be provoked by Kirk and Spock like the others were, he just needed a guy to say that he can’t be a doctor anymore and bam! Yeah think McCoy is my fav at this point XD Anywho, really good episode... infact I have zero complaints. So... 5/5. First perfect score, yay!

Okay, five more episodes of Season One to go. I’m super excited, especially since one of them I’ e neard a good deal of hype for. So we’ll knock them out tomorrow!