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#brain as underwhelming and depressing and mostly horrible. and im going to leave home and never cone back and my last year at home is going
srkgirlblogger
·
2 months
Text
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#the day was going so well until my mom decided to be mean to me for no reason in a piblic space where i was already feeling scared and over
#stimulated. i wanted to try out the skateboards in decathlon but there were too many people and i got scared. and my mom suddenly said that
#the skateboard that she was going to buy for me after/on my birthday. she had decided to buy now. since we were alr in theshop and i said no
#way bec i hadnt decided which one i wanted yet and i was soo panicked. and then after some time when id calmed down a bit and was gonna try
#to skate anyways she started questioning me abt when i planned on peacticing and where i was gonna do it and i obviously just started saying
#things that i thought she would approve of. and then she told me i didnt have the time management skills or resolve to make it work. and she
#just kept on passive aggressively bullying me until i just couldnt do it anymore and i told her i wanted go leave the store bc she was
#spoiling the mood. and then she started bullying me louder and she told me to stop blaming her bc she was only asking me a question and she
#didn't want to waste any more money on things that i wasnt gonna do even though ive wanted a skateboard for years now and have been actively
#asking her for months. and i just lost my emergy and my appetite and i wanted to leave the mall and go home but insteaf she gook us to a
#bagel place that ive been trying to get her to take us even though i felt like throwing up before we even left the mall and i told her i
#didnt want to go there. and my brother even told her that she was ruining things for everyone. and he still ended up blaming me in the end.
#but whatever. i kept getting flashbacks to insanely traumatic moments where shed yelled at or bullied me or cornered me or tried to
#embarass me in public. and this is most likely my last year at home. and my last year of childhood. and its all going to be remembered in my
#brain as underwhelming and depressing and mostly horrible. and im going to leave home and never cone back and my last year at home is going
#to be just as shitty as every other year and ill just have to deal with that and try to build something good and new and kind when i leave
#she shouldnt speak to her own children like this. she shouldnt be looking for reasons to make things miserable for me all the time like this
#i should study. my head hurts. my entire body hurts so bad
#delete later
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