#brainy british thirst trap

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I would just like to point out that the welcome mat in front of Simon Williamson’s flat is in the shape of a fucking heart, and since he and Mark live there and snuggle on the couch watching TV together, they’re totally in love and Sickrent is so very, very canon, thank you and goodnight...

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THIS IS THE QUALITY SHERLOCK CONTENT I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR ALL SEASON [x]

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Jonny Lee Miller troll level: 5000

[x]

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“I know from experience, children, your teacher is an excellent dancer.”

[Elementary 7x07 - From Russia With Drugs]

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In case you were wondering how much of a wig slut Jonny Lee Miller is, have some gifs of him shamelessly stealing the Sick Boy wig from the Graham Norton Show in 2017...

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Happy for Bertie Carvel, who just won a Tony for playing Rupert Murdoch in Ink, but I’m still salty as hell that Jonny wasn’t even nominated for his part...

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Went to see Ink again tonight...

And let me tell you all...I love the theatre, but I hate people. Ugh...

Okay first, let’s start with the good. This time, I was sitting in the THIRD FREAKING ROW, which was ridiculous but so wonderful because I could see all of Jonny’s expressions and reactions up close. I could see the sweat pouring off of him, the poor guy (it must be so hot being in a suit under those stage lights), but he was truly a delight to watch. All of his movements, everything he did with his body was just so, so good and truly served to inform the character of Larry Lamb. (And I got to see him do that ridiculously hot leaning right up close, cause I was on that side of the theater, thank you benevolent seating gods.)

Now, for the not so good...

I’m not sure if I mentioned this in my posts about the last show, but someone’s cell phone went off three times during a pivotal scene at that show, in extremely irritating fashion. Tonight, it happened again...some asshole’s phone went off twice, but this time it was during what has to be the climactic, dramatic moment of the entire show (those of you who have seen it will probably know to what I am referring). I mean, the timing absolutely could NOT have been worse. And I have never seen an entire cast look SO pissed off. Jonny and everyone handled it very well and professionally, but that interruption just completely destroyed the moment. Neither the entire cast nor the rest of the audience deserved that, and I am still livid.

Then, there was after the show...

I went to the stage door again to see Jonny, fully determined to speak actual words this time. Everything was fine at first; the rest of the cast came out first, chatted, were all lovely. Jonny came out last (in a t-shirt, so I got to see some tattoos, which was delicious).  I didn’t have my Playbill out to be signed because I had it signed last time, and I’m not really a big autograph person to begin with.

So when he got over to where I was, I (quietly) told him that I think he’s gorgeous. He didn’t say anything, but he looked at me, and I’m...I have a hard time reading the facial expressions of people I don’t know well, so I have no idea if he was confused, checking me out, amused, disgusted (probably not disgusted though, I don’t think). But then I was trying to say how Lamb reminds me of the Joker (Heath Ledger Joker, not Jack Nicholson), and again Jonny looked at me, but said nothing.

And I don’t know if he would have said anything, because right at that moment, a woman behind me started YELLING at him, “YOU’RE EVEN MORE ATTRACTIVE IN LIFE THAN ON TV! YOUR EYES ARE AMAZING!” Like, lady...have you even heard of subtlety? Also, Jonny loves cats so much because he is a cat in human form, and if you know anything about cats, you know not to yell or get aggressive toward them because they will run away (which he did, and for which I do not blame him one bit).

So...yeah. That was my second time seeing Ink. Love Jonny, love the show, love theatre, but I am so done with people...

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Jonny looking entirely too pretty in another wig and posing some more in @iamranaroy’s Instagram story.

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Review: “Ink” on Broadway

As I mentioned in my previous post, last night I finally got to see Ink, starring Bertie Carvel as Rupert Murdoch and Jonny Lee Miller as Larry Lamb. So here now are my thoughts on the show, along with a little more detail about what happened after.

The first thing I have to note is the set, the design of which was actually quite brilliant. It gave you that feeling of a 1960s newsroom--tightly packed, claustrophobic, everyone on top of each other. That along with the mess, clutter, need for people to squeeze past one another really conveyed the idea that it took an entire team to put a paper together in those days. I have to give serious props to the cast for maneuvering around and especially up and down it, because I have the gross motor coordination of a drunken llama and would certainly fall and break something if it were me up there.

As to the story itself, I did notice some parallels to Cabaret--the first act was the celebration, the decadence, do-what-the-fuck-ever, free spiritedness--and the second act showed the consequences of those actions. It was more somber but needed to be, because of the fallout from Murdoch’s (and especially Lamb’s) choices. I didn’t know much about Rupert Murdoch going into this but attempted to keep an open mind, and after seeing Ink, I fucking hate Rupert Murdoch for being this grand shadowy pooh-bah (I even told this to Bertie Carvel after. Haha). Someone who manipulates things from the background and lets others do his dirty work, pushes them beyond any sane limit (again, Lamb) for the sake of ratings/readers/profit.

Also, the characterization of Lamb eerily reminded me of the Joker in The Dark Knight, for two particular reasons: One, Lamb’s scar and the mythos surrounding how it came to be (”Do you want to know how I got these scars?”); and Two, the idea of doing away with one of the 5 “Ws” of journalism--the Why. As the play progressed, each new moment became a test of what lines Lamb/Murdoch--and subsequently all of us--were willing to cross. When you take out the “Why,” everything becomes bloodless and bloody at the same time, and it takes away any reason to hold back, which is exhilarating but terrifying at the same time.

Acting-wise, I really feel Jonny carried the whole damn show on his incredibly lithe shoulders. His Larry Lamb was brash beyond brash, his energy nonstop, the roaring engine that powered that sputtering newspaper to life. (Why the fuck he wasn’t nominated for a Tony, I seriously do not understand.) He seemed to me the cast member who was running around the stage the most, and he did so with incredibly athleticism and grace. There was a moment where Lamb is debating the degree of italics with one of the editors, and says “Like Gene Kelly!” and Jonny leans one-armed against the wall to illustrate his point. He definitely had a Gene Kelly-esque quality to his movement, but I just had to take a moment to shove my tongue back in my head because of the sheer fucking strength/stamina it takes to lean against the wall like that. Wow...

I also remember @shvesta saying to watch for some Sherlock-like mannerisms, and I did indeed spot a few.  Some of the faces Jonny pulled as Lamb, as well as the little tics, the twitches, the way he sat in a chair, were inspired, because even when he had no dialogue, he was reacting to everything. And the dancing. Part of me was so ready to be all “He’s such a hot dancer!” (as I said above: Gene Kelly quality), but he’s also such a white boy dancer, and it was hilarious. I know Ink has a choreographer and I’m sure they tried to make the movements as controlled as possible, but there were moves going on that were pure Jonny. I’ll never be able to look at Sherlock from now on without picturing him spontaneously breaking into song and dance, so there you go.

As for what happened after, like I mentioned in my previous post, Jonny rendered me speechless (which does not ever happen). Bertie came out first (and I barely recognized him, as he holds his face/body so differently as Murdoch), and then Jonny a few minutes later. He was so quiet and soft-spoken (you can tell he leaves it all on stage), and seemed truly appreciative of fans, which is lovely. I could tell he was tired (and who wouldn’t be, after a performance like that), but he was still so sweet, thanking us all for coming out to the show. My friend said a few things to him, and I normally would’ve been in there with something funny or clever, but like I said in my other post...all my thoughts went bye bye when I saw him. I don’t know if there’s such a thing as being too horny to speak, but there must be, cause that’s what I was.

Anyway...I thought Ink was a fantastic production overall. It fascinated me to know this was happening at the same time Monty Python started up--the idea of this newness, this creativity flooding the nation--but there is such a divergence in where Python went versus where The Sun went. Origin stories are never easy to tell, and while I didn’t walk away with much sympathy for Murdoch or Lamb, I still appreciated the story that we were told, and that the Why was left for us--the audience, the readers, the people--to decide.

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Jonny Lee Miller at the Elementary 100 Episodes celebration in 2016.

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I love this fucking dweeb... [x]

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Shout-out to Elementary (and the ever-delicious snack that is Sherlock Holmes) for mentioning my hometown about five times in tonight’s episode, even if it was in the context of blowing up the ferry that I know very well and have ridden since I was a little girl. Woo...

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Jonny Lee Miller posing the house down in @iamaranaroy’s Insta story.

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Another fun thing that I forgot to mention about Thursday was that my friend had gotten our tickets through this group that holds a meetup at a bar after the shows, to have discussion. So there we were, sitting across from two complete strangers, a man and a woman--they didn’t like Ink, while my friend and I loved  it, so it made for lively conversation.

We got to talking about Jonny’s performance, and an exchange between me and the man went something like this:

Man: “I think he shouted too much. He was yelling out Every. Single. Line. Like, (shouts exaggeratedly).”

*cue everyone laughing*

Me: “Well, I can somewhat see your point there, but I can’t really be objective about this because I want to fuck him.”

*cue everyone laughing even harder, to where some random older woman came over and asked me/us to keep it down and we all looked at each other in disbelief*

Man: (ignoring her, to me). “Share your truth, girl. Tell us your story.”

God, I love New York...

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I don’t want to perv all over the adorable pic that @elementarystan posted of JLM with his kid, so I will do it here instead:

Jonny is an absolute smoking hot DILF to the 5000th power. Bar none, case closed, good night, be sure to tip your waitress. This information also gives me way too many emotions, so I’ll just be over here in the corner of Tumblr feeling things...

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Someone please cast this man as John Paul Jones in a Led Zeppelin biopic like yesterday...