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Brian: I am so very clever!
Me: we got 5.5hr sleep, we are not clever.
Brian: so, so clever!
Me: we didn't even get a lot of writing done.
Brian: cleverest clever!
Me:
Me: at least I have self confidence ig
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GIVE ME THE HCS I WANNA HEAR EVERYTHANGG
okay so
*cracks open google doc*
i'll just go through the areas because my brain formats better talking about the different cogs like that
also i'm not going to include the factory managers, the satellite investors, C.O.O, or Chairman because i have yet to develop their full mental image in my brain (but it will eventually happen asdfiopj)
also this is going to be long as hell so warning you
Toontown Central
Derrick Man (William Boar)
30
Transmasc Bisexual (He/Oil/Drum)
Autistic
Grew up in a family that was extremely focused on how they looked to the public, and was "match-made" with Misty at an early age, but they ended up just seeing each other as annoying siblings. Both sees Misty as an annoyance and as a friend, but doesn't like to admit that second part, especially to Misty herself.
Is crushing hard on both Alton and Rain and is being tsundere about it
Duck Shuffler (Buck Ruffler, Card Shark, Blackjack)
29
Transmasc Demiromantic Homosexual (He/They/Quack/Slot/Luck/Seven/7/š¦/š°/āļø/š [Buck], They/It [Card Shark], It/Its [Blackjack])
Bipolar, DID (Buck [Host], Card Shark [Emotion Dampener], Blackjack [Nonverbal Trauma Holder])
Grew up in Toontown Central surrounded by Toons and later moved into Suitopia as an adult, working as a day trader and gambling on the weekends to help relax. At a casino night, Chris spotted him and offered him a position at C.O.G.S under him. And Buck accepted mostly because he realized he had nothing to lose if he applied.
Dating Dave and has a crush on Brian as well as Eerie Descent
Prethinker (Brian Wiseman)
35
He/It/Study/Thought/Brain/King/āļø/š§ /š/š
Trans Gay
Paranoid Personality Disorder, Avoidant Personality Disorder
Grew up in a family where his parents were usually not home a lot of time and thought that if he got to the top of his class and graduated with honors, then his parents would actually acknowledge him. But that...never happened. So, after college, he drifted around, not knowing what to do before he applied to C.O.G.S in desperation, so ended up overcompensating to make sure that his place in the company was secured leading to...a lot of mess ups. Also transitioned after entering college, renaming himself, but doesn't like mentioning his last name because he's embarrassed that he picked that for himself.
Is dating Benjamin and is crushing heavily on Mac and Buck
Barnacle Boatyard
Land Acquisition Architect (Alton S. Crow)
40
Cis Bisexual (He/They/Hazard)
Anxiety, Paranoid Personality Disorder
Country boys make do. That's like. Pretty much it. Grew up in a large family, had to start working at a young age to help support the family, and now has trouble knowing when to stop working.
Crushing on William real bad due to them being hired around the same time
Deep Diver (Mary Anna)
32
Intersex Bigender Bisexual
He/She/Ocean/Wave/Dive/Sea/Marine/š/šŖø/š¤æ/š/ā/šŖ
Autistic
Grew up with two moms who encouraged his love of marine life, to the point of her deciding that was going to be oceans career. Immediately was rivals with Holly due to both of them thinking they knew more about the others' specialty.
Dating Misty and keeps denying waves crush on Holly
Rainmaker (Misty Monsoon)
30
Trans Lesbian (She/Rain/Cloud/Storm/Fog/ā/āļø/š§ļø/āļø/š¦ļø)
Depression, Anxiety, Autism
Similarly to William, grew up in a family focused on how they look in the public eye, and became hyper attached to William because he was the first person who ever treated her nicely and was the one who she first told that she was trans and a lesbian to. Is hurt about the fact that he won't really talk to her anymore but thinks that it's because they're working in opposing departments.
Is dating Mary and Holly and wishes that the two would just get admit that they like each other already
Ye Ol' Toontown Time
Public Relations Representative (Winston Byrd)
98
Genderfluid Biromantic Homosexual (All Pronouns)
Anxiety, Autism, PTSD, Depression, Paranoid Personality Disorder
Was a close friend of Tawney's before everything went down. Was eventually snuck out of the dungeons by a blue and white cat toon before getting smuggled to Daffodil Gardens where he got restored to his previous state.
Currently isn't seeing anyone but is yearning to have a partner again
Gatekeeper (Holly Grayelle)
35
Holypaladin (Xenogender) Bisexual Lesbian (She/Holy/Gold/Knight/Shield)
Autism, ADHD
Grew up being told that she was extremely good at being a leader and so holy has it engrained in gold that knight canāt be any position other than a leadership one and so tends to clash with anyone who challenges that view. And/or fall in love with them. Luck of the draw.
Dating Misty and keeps denying knights crush on Mary. Used to have a crush on Prester until shield found out that he was gay.
Witch Hunter (Prester Virgil)
35
Transmasc Gay (He/Him)
Depression, PTSD
Grew up in an extremely strict, religious house with a doormat of a father and extremely religious mother, which caused him to have a lot of internalized homophobia, even after he transitioned, and takes it out on people who are extremely secure in their sexualities (ex. Diane, Holly). Also has both a fear and affinity for fire due to being shamed growing up as draconic-descended cog.
Dating Cosmo and sorta kinda dating the Satellite Investors. Also Diane's cousin.
Daffodil Gardens
Vice President (Allan Bravecog)
65
Cis Polyamorous Bisexual (He/Bulb/Radio/Static)
Narcissistic Personality Disorder, PTSD
Grew up having people constantly trying to befriend him because he was extremely good at making connections, so tends to have people who he doesn't trust at arms length but pretends that they're closer. Married his college sweetheart Norman Bravecog (OC) and had Cathal around when they founded C.O.G.S along the other Chief Officers after they graduated college. Dotes on Cathal heavily because Cathal was the only child of theirs that survived through infancy.
Married to Norman and has an on-and-off-again thing with both Craig and Chris.
Bellringer (Benjamin Biggs)
38
Transmasc Salmacian Bisexual Gay (He/Ring/Bell/š/šļø)
Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Autism
Grew up being praised for his healing ability but shamed for rings need to feed on oil, so has an energy of āI am perfect and if anyone argues that I am going to kill them and then myselfā. Oh yeah, Benjamin is a vampire (sorta kinda) due to having vague leech-based programing and needing more oil than the average cog to allow for bells healing ability (has two oil tanks for that very reason).
Dating Brian and is a bit jealous of Mac and Winn (also is low-key crushing on them but shh).
Multislacker (Cathal Ray Toby Bravecog)
32
Genderapathetic Aroflux Cassexual (He/They/Tech/TV/šŗ)
Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Autism, ADHD
Grew up extremely coddled by his father for reasons mentioned above and quickly realized that it didnāt matter how hard they worked because everyone would assume that techs work was just tvs fathers, so became very tired and just decided to roll with it.
Has a friends with benefits relationship with High Roller and ends up developing feelings for Chip and Graham.
Mezzo Merryland
Chief Financial Officer (Chris P. Dollair)
66
Trans Bisexual Man (He/It/Cash/Coin/Bank/šø/šµ/š°/šŖ)
Paranoid Personality Disorder, OCD
Grew up extremely poor so has a lot of trust issues and money insecurity (will swing from penny pinching to splurging).
Is heavily crushing on Allan and Craig, while hooking up with Craig sometimes.
Mouthpiece (Belle Dama)
85
Transfemme Bisexual (She/Chatter)
Autistic
Has had a relatively boring life and works to help her husband, who is too disabled to work, and keep them afloat with help from their children. Visits her husband on the weekend but lives in Mezzo Merryland during the weeks. Is confused by her son's taste in men but is very supportive.
Has a husband named Peter and two kids: Tartarus (huh i wonder who that could be /sillly) and Emily (OC), as well as several grandchildren, with her favourite being Cassidy āCassieā Dama, one of Emilyās children.
Major Player (Dave Brubot)
27
Melodyboy (Xenogender) Pan (He/Melody/Hymn)
ADHD, Autism
Grew up in a very large, musically inclined family so naturally drifted towards music as his main aspiration. Extremely extroverted and is the one who usually gets his friends to socialize.
Is dating Buck and is trying to encourage Buck to talk with Brian and Eerie.
The Brrgh
Chief Legal Officer (Diane Morsecode)
34
Cis Bi Lesbian (She/Legal/Law)
ADHD, Autism
Grew up similarly to Prester, but was the "star" child, but because of that, whenever she fails to do something, it hits extremely hard. Is both extremely annoyed at and extremely worried about Prester.
Is currently single, but isn't looking for anyone. As mentioned, is Prester's cousin.
Firestarter (Flint Bonpyre)
He/Fire/Flame/š„/š§Æ
27
Transmasc Gay (He/Fire/Flame/š„/š§Æ)
Anxiety, Depression, Scoliosis
Had a pretty normal childhood, growing from a weird girl into a weird boy. Met Graham first in high school and dated pre-transition and then met again in sophmore year in college post-transition and started dating (had a nice laugh about the fact that fate kept bringing them together).
Is dating Graham and used to date Chip in college (but still has lingering feelings about him)
Plutocrat (Cosmo Kuiper)
68
Cis Bisexual (He/Star/Constellation/Meteor/Planet/š/ā/š /āØ/š«/šŖ)
ADHD, Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Grew up in a mob family and would have stayed only attached to it if C.O.G.S didnāt take over the town that he was the head of, leading to star reluctantly joining C.O.G.S. Took one look at Prester and went "oh i NEED to date that man".
Dating Prester and constellations investors, often showering them in gifts to let them know that meteor loves them.
Acorn Acres
Chief Executive Officer (Craig Edgar Oilcan)
69
Transmasc Genderfaun (He/It/They [Collective], He/Oil/One/Fore [Craig], It/Its [Justice], Edgar [He/They/Golf])
Narcissistic Personality Disorder, DID (Host: N/A, Headmates: Craig [Persecutor, Protector], Justice [Emotional Funnel], Edgar [Guilt Holder, Trauma Holder])
Grew up in an extremely cut throat family where it was essentially "succeed or get scrapped" which caused his system to form at an extremely young age. Applies that motto to a lot of its life, which is why they turned a blind eye to everything involving Chip.
Is deep in denial about the fact that he cares about Allan and Chris (doesn't want to admit that he's attached) and "rationalizes" it by hooking up with Chris and having a good business relationship with Allan.
Treekiller (Spruce Campbell)
46
Cis Gay Man (He/Wood/Gnaw/Log/Chop)
ADHD
Grew up in a large, relaxed family who were the types to encourage friends stay for dinner before they headed back home (especially when it came to Chip and his family). Is so worried about Chip, especially with how little he tells him about work nowadays.
Is single.
Chainsaw Consultant (Chip Revvington)
54
Boyflux (Chip) Agender (Override) Demi Bisexual Gay (Chip) Pan (Override) (He/Rev/Chainsaw/Saw [Chip], It/Its [Override])
Autism, DID (Headmates: Chip [Host], Override [Protector, Persecutor, Prosecutor, Emotional Funnel])
As mentioned in this post, grew up in a very oppressive, strict household that punished him for any sort of autistic behavior, leading towards Override to form to help mask revs autistic traits.
Chip is still not over Flint while Override is head over heels for Cathal, with their difference in romance causing a bit of a struggle in the system.
Drowsy Dreamland
Featherbedder (Tawney C. Esta)
98
Cis Gay (He/Sleep/Snore/Nap/Rest/Bed/Dream/š/š¤/šļø)
Cis Gay
Insomnia, Depression
Grew up pretty ordinarily, but got depressed after his husband passed, but is now slowly healing from that.
Had a husband, and has grandchildren as well. Also has a bit of a āare they dating or just good friendsā thing going on with Doppel (OC)
Pacesetter (Graham Ness Payser)
27
Transmasc Genderfast (Xenogender) Gay (He/Speed/Fast)
Transmasc Genderfast Gay
ADHD, Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Literally does not remember his childhood other than the fact that he had dated Flint in highschool. Only remembers his life post-transition, which is pretty ordinary and standard.
Is dating Flint and has a rivalry/crush thing going on with Multislacker.
So there you go!! That took. way too long but I hope you like!! Also if you have any questions please ask 'em!! This is a lot of fun to do :3
#arynn rambles#i am not tagging all of the managers i am so sorry#toontown corporate clash#ttcc#toontown
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IF I GOIT TO BE A BRIAN SIRGEON AND U GOT BRAIN BROKED WOUID IU GET SURGERY FORM ME šÆšÆšÆš§ š§ š§ š§ š§
YES I TRUST YOU WITH MY LIFE
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Ranking the Filthy 15
Back in the 80s, Tipper Gore and other cultural conservatives went on a crusade against sex and violence in popular music. They put together a list of fifteen representative songs to use as a political football, known as the filthy 15.
Apropos of nothing, Iāll rank each song. Each will score between 1 and 4 filths, gaining one point for each of the following objective scientific criteria.
š³ Flushed: Would I be embarrassed if my grandmother heard me listening to this song?
š§ Memorable: Does this filth get stuck in my head?
šŖ¶ Poetic: Does it paint a vivid picture?
š Fuckable: Would I have sex while listening to it?
Note: because of the content, youāll have to click through to YouTube to listen to the songs.
āDarling Nikkiā by Prince
Why Tipper hated it: Sex/masturbation
youtube
The song that set off the anti-music craze, itās an undeniable classic off Purple Rain, an album with an embarrassment of classics. A strong contender for the best song on this list. Itās pretty dirty, too.
Speaking of embarrassment, how would I feel if my grandma heard me listening to this? The words āsexā and āmasturbatingā really pop out of the mix, and I think weād both throw ourselves out the window at that point. For reference, all grandma analysis applies to both sides of the family. This is important to no one.
This absolutely gets stuck in my head, it paints a very frank, vivid picture, and this thing is so sexy, Iād bang a sand dune to this shit.
š³ š§ šŖ¶ š
āSugar Wallsā by Sheena Easton
Why Tipper hated it: Sex
youtube
Barely a metaphor, I hadnāt really listened to Sheenaās personal vagina explainer. Pretty standard 80s pop, while itās frankly insulting to metaphors to call the lyrics one, itās just enough for my grandmother to not understand. The āblood races to your private spotsā line is risky, but her hearing isnāt great. The lyrics are high level and vague, just thin innuendos, so no picture. But sure, it wouldnāt kill the mood.
š§ š
āEat Me Aliveā by Judas Priest
Why Tipper hated it: Sex/violence
youtube
Not my favorite Priest song, off maybe my least favorite Priest album, this song is fine. Nothing concrete in the lyrics here, just vague innuendo. Tipper said this song advocated for oral sex at gun point, which is pretty intense, but in context the lyrics feel more āmetal metaphors for a beejā instead of anything more sinister. Or interesting.
Iād be embarrassed if my grandmother heard me listening to it, not because of the lyrics, but because of the genre. Sheād be so disappointed.
āOut of all the Judas Priest albums, youāre listening to Defenders of the Faith?ā Sheād say, pulling my ear.
š³
āStrap On āRobbie Babyāā by Vanity
Why Tipper hated it: Sex
youtube
Pretty sure this was the first time Iāve heard this song when researching this piece. Pretty nasty riff, the guitars and synth combined sound like an 808 fucked a car. I might have to get into Vanity. Anyway, I couldnāt understand the lyrics at all, so thereās no chance my grandma could. As killer as the music is, Iāve already forgotten it now that YouTube is auto playing another Vanity tune called āSex Shooterā. I do remember that I would absolute fuck to it, though.
Bonus points for the whip sound effect.
š š„
āBastardā by Mƶtley CrĆ¼e
Why Tipper hated it: Violence/language
youtube
The quintessential of-its-time hair metal band, they do have some catchy songs. While this might be the first time Iām hearing it, I think this is one of them. I couldnāt really understand the mumble-ass lyrics, but man would my grandma be upset if she heard me listening to this.
āChris, youāre listening to Mƶtley CrĆ¼e? What year is it? Madone.ā
āLet Me Put My Love Into Youā by AC/DC
Why Tipper hated it: Sex
youtube
This song was five years old by the time Tipper said it was rotting kidās brains, so I guess it was pretty potent to still be doing the devilās work out in the streets.
Off AC/DCās commercial peak Back in Black, that album was the start of the clumsy-if-not-appalling Brian Johnson sex innuendo era, instead of the clever-if-not-appalling Bon Scott sex innuendo era. Despite all that, itās a great song, it gets stuck in my head unprovoked, my grandma wouldnāt know what was happening but wouldnāt like it, so I wouldnāt like it, and honestly this has too much of a virgin dorm vibe for me to have sex to.
š³ š§
āWeāre Not Gonna Take Itā by Twisted Sister
Why Tipper hated it: Violence
youtube
I donāt know why this song ended up on this list. Violence? The closest the lyrics get is Dee Snyder saying heāll fight the powers that be. Sure, the whole song is anti-authority, and he says the word āfightā a few times. I donāt know, saying this is violent is a real stretch. Catchy tune though. My grandma would ignore this. Weāre not gonna take it anymore is hardly a sex sentiment. We all prefer I Wanna Rock.
š§
āDress You Upā by Madonna
Why Tipper hated it: Sex
youtube
Pretty tame silk sheet boudoir lyrics. The most explicit they get is during the chorus, when Madonna lets you know that sheāll dress you up in her love, all over your body. So, sex. Pretty fun song, but nothing special, especially given Madonnaās catalog. The lyrics paint the vaguest picture, to the point where I feel like Iām in a blank room more than anything. My grandmother would find this unobjectionable. I guess Iād fuck to this in a pinch, and I use that term advisedly.
šš„±
āAnimal (Fuck Like a Beast)ā by W.A.S.P.
Why Tipper hated it: Sex/language/violence
youtube
Whoa, kick it up, itās W.A.S.P.! Straight out of the gate, Blackie Lawless is bragging about his nudie pictures next to his bed, then starts talking about smells. Holy shit, thatās a picture! I never listened to W.A.S.P. before this, and while the lyrics descend into standard hair metal sex talk, verging into pretty gross misogyny, Blackieās voice has a real compelling power amidst the slick buzz-saw guitars on this tune. I would rather die than let my grandma catch me listening to it. This song also has the power to evaporate genitals.
š³ š§ šŖ¶
āHigh ānā Dry (Saturday Night)ā by Def Leppard
Why Tipper hated it: Drug and alcohol use
youtube
Another one I donāt think Iāve ever heard before researching this piece. Pretty forgettable stadium rock. I donāt understand why this song in particular gets on the filthy list for alcohol use; thereās so many popular booze tunes, and this one isnāt any more explicit on the topic than any other. Also, why the hell is everyone wearing Def Leppard shirts now? Fucking Def Leppard? My grandmother would fall asleep to this song. I donāt have sex at frat parties, so this song is out on that count as well.
š«
āInto the Covenā by Mercyful Fate
Why Tipper hated it: Occult
youtube
Finally, mixing up the theme! Forget sex, drugs, and rock nā roll, āInto the Covenā gets on the naughty list for the occult! This is definitely the first time I heard this song. Starting off with a medieval mandolin-ish intro, then going into bog standard head bang riff with a Rob Halford-ish high note vocal, itās totally ish. I couldnāt understand the vocal, so I had to look up the lyrics to get that sweet, sweet devil text.
Howl like a wolf And a witch will open the door Follow me And meet our high priestess Come, come into my coven And become Luciferās child
Yep, thatās occult, and itās painting a pretty vivid picture. Fun stuff! It repels sex. I thought my grandmother would be offended, but when I performed the ritual to contact her from beyond the grave, she was fine with it.
šŖ¶
āTrashedā by Black Sabbath
Why Tipper hated it: Drug and alcohol use
youtube
Certainly not the first Sabbath song anyone thinks ofāor the thirty-first, reallyāitās more of a cautionary drunk driving tale from the one-off Ian Gillan era than anything scandalous. The story is specific and clear, and the riff is solid if unmemorable. I donāt think any of Black Sabbathās music get within the same post code as an aphrodisiac. My grandma would appreciate how the nice boys are educating people about the dangers of alcohol.
šŖ¶
āIn My Houseā by Mary Jane Girls
Why Tipper hated it: Sex
youtube
What a fun bop. Great hook. Lyrics are pretty tame, and vague, even by 1980s standards! But yeah, theyāre about sex. It does make me dance, so maybe that adds extra scandal to it. Itās so catchy, and in an uncomfortable couplet, I would both have sex to this song and dance with my grandmother to it.
š§ š
āPossessedā by Venom
Why Tipper hated it: Occult
youtube
One more occult tune! It starts with the lyric, āLook at me, Satanās childā amidst foreboding guitars, so already more thematically occult feeling than Into The Coven. Darker, more alienated, and far less commercial than anything else on this list. This feels actually worthy of a moral panic, which makes it feel a lot more fun than it actually is. Pretty neat double bass drum breakdown section, though. This one is way too antisocial for sex. Itās so antisocial, that it would be a humiliating social experience for my grandma to catch me listening to it.
āShe Bopā by Cyndi Lauper
Why Tipper hated it: Sex/masturbation
youtube
Ah, the perennial classic. Great song, so catchy, with specific lyrics that really do paint a picture despite their heavy euphemisms. Of course Iād have sex to this tune, and, thank God, my grandmother would absolutely not understand the lyrics.
š§ šŖ¶ š
Final thoughts
To no oneās surprise, the best song on this list, according to science, is Princeās Darling Nikki, with She Bop a close second. The worst is whatever that Def Leppard song was.
Thanks Tipper!
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Me: *doing nothing but watching videos*
š§ (my brain) : *thinking of a steamy scene of Jimercury + trans! Brian going on*
Me: š³
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