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eversall · 7 years

Text

for @sunlewis, who came up with this glee au and then waited patiently for like a month for me to finish it. love of my life @softjimon for helping me edit and cheerleading me into publishing it. anne and jess are two of the best people on this planet earth and you can fight me on that!!

if you ever want to be in love (i’ll come around) || jace/simon, 10k+, glee au || ao3 link here

“And all your tears will subside ,” She sings softly, her voice quieting down as the music lowers to just a single guitar again. Simon and Jace are standing by the lamp, and Jace looks at Simon, drinking in the sight of him crossing his arms and bumping shoulders with Jace, happily singing. “ And all your tears, will dry .”

It’s serenades week in Musical Performance 113, the slightly less exciting college version of Glee Club. Simon’s decided to woo Jace with this; Jace has decided to have an existential crisis with it.

songs used: for the love by hearts and colors, once in a lifetime by landon austin, rhythm of love by plan white t’s, incomplete by james bay (link to gorgeous dance cover).

fic title taken from if you ever want to be in love, by james bay

“I’m gonna do it,” Simon says confidently as he walks into the classroom, fiddling with the strap of his backpack, Clary nodding encouragingly next to him, “I’m gonna do it, it’s gonna happen today, it’s - “ He catches sight of Jace sprawled insolently across one of the chairs, running a hand through his hair as he smirks down at his phone, uncaring and unfairly good-looking.

“It’s not happening, nope, no.” He hisses under his breath, turning on his heel and intending to just skip class, when a hand curls into his collar and yanks him backwards.

“Oh no you don’t.” Magnus says, tugging him into the room despite his protests. “I didn’t spend all weekend helping you arrange this song to have you chicken out now.”

Luke looks up in mild surprise as Magnus drops an indignant Simon onto a chair in front of the staggered audience seats, bodily dragging his backpack from him and thrusting his guitar into his hands instead.

“So…you’ll start us off today, Simon?” Luke asks, amused, and Simon groans and briefly buries his head in his hands.

“Simon’s singing?” Jace asks with glee in his voice, and Simon raises his head to glare at Jace and flip him off. Alec rolls his eyes and sinks further into his seat. He’s only in this class because Simon agreed to do archery with him last quarter, so now he owes Simon and is stuck here - though if the way his glance always slides to Magnus is any indication, Simon definitely judged right in gently nudging his friend and his roommate into the same musical performance class. “Sure you can handle the pressure, Lewis?”

“Well I can’t wait.” Izzy says loyally, shutting her bio-psych textbook decisively and leaning forward, absently slinging an arm around Clary’s shoulder. Clary looks at Izzy for a beat too long, and Simon briefly entertains himself with the wonderful thought that almost none of them are straight. Raj, maybe, though with the way he’s so aggressive about his heterosexuality at Victor, that dick that deigns to show up to class once in a while, Simon’s starting to doubt even that.

“Yeah, I’ve got something prepared.” Simon clears his throat, and Luke gives him an encouraging nod as Magnus sits down at the piano and cracks his knuckles, only to be shoved aside by Raphael, who grumpily slides onto the piano bench and glares at Simon like Simon just asked him to sell his soul to Satan.

“I’ll play.” He grumps out as Magnus doubles over laughing, going to claim a seat near Alec. Simon grins, remembering how he caught Raphael practicing the piano accompaniment to his piece when Magnus asked him to. They’re all good friends, even if they don’t act like it.

“I’m here, I’m here, don’t start without me!” Maia gasps, sliding into the room just as it turns two, and she collapses onto a chair. “Exams are the worst. Okay, Simon, now you can sing.”

“Thanks.” Simon deadpans as she grins at him, and then he clears his throat, fiddling lightly with the strings before he looks up and locks eyes with Jace, who’s still smirking at him.

“I, uh.” He pauses, and then says in a rush, “This is for you.”

“What - “ Jace flushes bright, bright pink, and Simon chooses to ignore it, aggressively launching into the first few chords of a stripped down piano-guitar version of For the Love, a song that he heard at a party and immediately thought how can I make this sadder?

“You say the word and I’ll go wild,” Simon starts softly, his voice low, “start a fire in a heartbeat.” Jace is slowly shifting back in his chair, straightening from his slouch as he regards Simon with a blank face, the blush still lingering on his cheeks. “If you get drunk then so will I, crazy highs if we need it.”

“The things we do - “ Simon says as he launches into the chorus, joined by Raphael’s low timbre as he harmonizes for the love for the love.

“I put you through, for the love for the love,” He continues, and Clary’s higher notes join in, swaying her head slightly, “I’m hurt by you, but then I’m healing - I get this feeling, we can leave but we don’t - “

“For the love, for the love.” And now they’ve all caught on, even Alec, and they jump in with backing vocals, turning the chorus loud and letting the sound echo through the classroom. Jace is the only one not saying anything, frozen in his chair. Simon feels his heart pounding away in his chest, adrenaline running hot in his veins, and he’s too far in now to stop and besides he - Jace means something special to him, through all the teasing and the late nights spent exploring campus, shoulders brushing, Jace’s infectious grin lighting up the darkness.

“We run these wires, until they fall,” Simon’s voice echoes, strong, as everyone else lets their voices fade out for his bridge. Only Maia continues, seamlessly wrapping his melody in a hum. “We’ll keep on crawling back until we lost it all. Bask in the glory - the highs and lows - no matter how far gone we are, we don’t let go.”

He strums his guitar, lets a moment of silence play out, and then launches back into the chorus, the room swelling with everyone smiling slightly as they sway to the melody in their seats and look at each other, singing for the love for the love as genuinely as they can.

It feels good, his heart soaring on the high of an amazing performance, and he barely gets the chance to look at Jace before applause starts, and he’s being clapped on the back by Magnus and Raphael, and then Clary and Izzy and Maia are all bounding up to him, and Luke starts talking over all of them, assigning them into small groups.

Simon murmurs thanks, thanks, and then bodily shoves his way through his classmates, swinging his guitar by it’s strap to rest against his back, walking up to Jace, who’s biting his lip and looking at Simon with an inscrutable look in his eyes.

“So.” Simon says, his voice overly cheerful. “What did you think?” Out of the corner of his eye he sees Alec get up, presumably to leave them some privacy.

“I’M STRAIGHT.” Jace says loudly, too loudly, and Alec pauses - as well as everyone else in the room. Simon stares blankly at Jace, thinks maybe he misheard.

He hears the sound of Magnus’ whispered what the fuck and realizes, no, he heard correctly.

“You’re - okay.” Simon says, and his heart is dropping, dropping back into a sealed pit of hell where he swears it’s never coming out from again because this is what he gets for it. “Right, right. Okay. That’s cool.”

Jake Peralta’s cool cool cool cool cool cool cool monologue pops into his head, running on repeat as he slowly backs away and grabs his backpack.

“I’m just gonna - go!” He announces brightly, and then he’s turned and is sprinting out of class, blindly making his way to the apartment he shares with Magnus and Raphael. He’s sure Luke will excuse him this once from class, since he just publicly got his heart torn to shreds.

The room erupts in chaos once Simon leaves, everyone whispering and staring at him, and Jace’s eyes dart around nervously as his hands fiddle with the edge of his seat. He has no idea what to do, he’s so out of his depth - and he can’t seem to shake the feeling of Simon’s eyes, bright and honest as he’d sang. His voice is so fucking gorgeous, it always distracts Jace.

“What was that?” Alec asks, staring at him. Maia’s glaring at him from where she’s huddled in a corner with Gretel and Izzy and Clary, but that’s nothing new.

“What was what.” Jace says, desperately trying to play it cool. “Nothing’s happening. Simon and I are just friends. Very friendly.”

“Okay.” Alec says, and continues to stare at him like he’s grown a second head. He thinks he hears Izzy humming two bros, singing to each other, five feet apart cause they’re not gay. He wants to tell her to stop, but he’s also afraid of opening his mouth and accidentally blurting out Simon is so pretty and my heart goes a mile a minute around him what do I do?

It’s fine. It’s all fine. He said he was straight, which is just - great. It’s a lie, because he’s out to Alec and Izzy, but whatever. Whatever.

He might be panicking, just a little.

“Well,” Luke says, clearing his throat, “why don’t you all go work in your small groups? This is going to be a two week assignment, so everyone’s performances must be done by Wednesday for the group number next Friday.”

“Next Friday’s the game.” Raphael says shortly, and Alec and Jace nod. Luke cuts them a look.

“I’m well aware.” He says, and they all sheepishly smile. He is their coach, after all, as well as their musical teacher. “It’ll be a pretty laid-back performance, graded only on participation. No big theatrics.” He makes a shooing motion with his hands. “Off you go, work on those serenades.”

Serenades?

As Alec tugs him away, he looks at the board to see that this week’s theme is, in fact, serenades.

Crap.

Simon spends most of the evening curled up in bed, watching Brooklyn 99 on his phone. At least the nerds on that show get dates. Sometime around dinner, the jingle of keys at the door gets his attention, and he looks up in time to see Magnus and Raphael step in and drop their bags off, looking at him expectantly.

“Dinner at Taki’s, remember?” Magnus asks, and Simon groans.

“Go without me.” He waves them off. “Bring me back a milkshake and a hamburger. Please.”

“Simon.” Raphael sighs. “It’s gonna be okay.”

“Sure, if the floor opens and I disappear right now.” Simon moans, and they both look at him, something strange in their eyes.

“Alright.” Magnus finally says. “You get one night to mope, and then tomorrow you’re going to move on. I have a feeling your boy might surprise you.”

“Whatever.” Simon says, already putting his earphones back in and beginning to ignore them. They leave, and he spends another hour like that before a loud knock on the door jolts him out of bed. He sits up and frowns, because he’s still just in his old sweatpants and no shirt, but whatever. Whoever it is gets to deal with sad, mopey Simon.

He immediately regrets that decision when he opens the door to see Jace standing there with take-out bags from Taki’s in his hand. Jace opens his mouth, looks somewhere around Simon’s navel, looks back up his eyes, closes his mouth, and flushes a deep, deep red. Simon manfully resists the urge to shriek and cover his nipples.

“Uh, hey - heyyy, buddy.” Simon says, making finger guns and wincing at himself. “What’s - what’s up?”

“You weren’t at dinner.” Jace says, and now he’s looking at the ceiling, anywhere but Simon, and despite the situation it’s entirely amusing to see Jace talking to the roof. “So I got it to-go for both of us.”

“You uh, you didn’t have to do that.” Simon says, opening the door and letting him in. He darts to the bedroom as Jace sets the food on the counter and grabs a sweater, tugging it on and changing his ratty sweatpants to jeans before coming back out. “Magnus and Raphael were just going to bring me food.”

“Yeah, but I thought that maybe. Maybe we should talk?” Jace says, finally looking at Simon, and it’s so unlike Jace to be like this, unsure and hesitant, and Simon sighs because this is what he wanted to avoid.

“It’s fine, Jace.” he says tiredly, trying to smile at him. “We’re friends, it’s chill, right?”

“Yeah.” Jace says, and then he just blinks at Simon, not saying anything. For one, brief second Simon has the absurd thought that Jace might kiss him - and then it passes, and Simon raises an eyebrow.

“Cat got your tongue?” He asks. Jace looks at him.

“Where are the cats?” He asks, looking around. Simon shrugs.

“Chairman and Church are probably asleep on Magnus’ bed.” He says, and then he smirks. “Afraid they’ll chase you out again?”

“That was once.” Jace says, frowning, and Simon laughs. “Stop laughing, they’re actually devils on earth.”

“They’ve never ran me out.” Simon says, opening the bags of food. “Ooh, curly fries.”

“That’s because you probably feed them catnip, you druggie.” Jace says accusingly. He slaps Simon’s hand away from opening the carton. “Let’s go eat on the Theater terrace.”

“That’s so far.” Simon whines, but he’s already grabbing his coat and his keys. He bites his lip as Jace cautiously peeks into Magnus’ bedroom and makes little cooing noises at the cats in there, thinking that he can pretend well enough that he’s not in love with Jace, but that isn’t going to make it any less true, and that kind of sucks.

“Ready?” Jace asks, looking back at him, and Simon grins and grabs one of the bags, leading both of them out and locking the door.

“Race you there!” He calls cheerfully, and Jace swears at him as Simon bolts off, laughing and cradling the cartons of food to his chest.

“You left me with the drinks!” Jace’s voice calls out accusingly behind him, and Simon cackles as he keeps running through campus to the terrace. It’s mostly empty, save for the sounds of their feet pounding on the pavement as they weave past the student resource buildings and skid to a stop in front of the theater, taking a sharp right turn to collapse onto on of the tables that overlooks the rest of the campus. It’s his and Jace’s spot, one they found a few months ago and always seem to gravitate towards when it’s only the two of them hanging out.

“Mmm, fries.” Simon sighs in happiness as he cracks one of the containers open. “Thanks, dude.”

“No problem.” Jace digs his phone out and starts flicking through it. “Mind if I play some music?”

“Keep it low.” Simon says, gesturing around them. “Don’t want campus police citing us for a noise complaint.”

“So little faith in me.” Jace mutters as he sets his phone down, something classical beginning to slowly play, the melody quiet in the night. “Have I ever steered you wrong?”

“Constantly.” Simon retorts, digging around in the bags and unearthing straws for both of them, sticking one in each of their milkshakes. “Cheers.” Jace silently clinks his cup against Simon’s, smiling slightly at him, and the moonlight catches on his eyelashes; Simon has to look away.

“When?” Jace asks, amused, and Simon snorts incredulously as he unwraps his burger and looks at the campus sprawled below them, lights twinkling here and there.

“Just two weeks ago you convinced me to go swimming at two in the morning. We were both sick for days.” He reminds him, and Jace hums, doesn’t say anything. They eat in silence, for a while, and Simon kicks his feet up on the railing encircling the terrace. It’s quiet, and peaceful; Simon wants to stay like this forever.

He looks over at Jace, who’s been uncharacteristically quiet, only to find him staring back at Simon already, his eyes glittering in the night. Simon smiles, and Jace half-smiles back at him, turning to look over the terrace.

“Yeah, but you always tag along anyway.” He remarks, and Simon laughs.

“I do.” He says. “Brain damage, maybe.”

“That’s never been in question, Lewis.” Jace says, leaning over and rapping his knuckles against Simon’s forehead. “You’re something, alright.”

“Pot, kettle.” Simon says dismissively, and they settle into companionably bickering, comfortable and familiar.

Jace thinks he might slowly be going insane, because Simon’s everywhere. He always is, but this week it’s suddenly more than usual; it feels like Simon is taking up every corner of his mind, drowning out every thought he has with his smile and his laugh and those goddamn bright eyes of his.

“When are you gonna stop pretending you’re straight?” Alec asks him quietly as they make their way to musical performance. They have practice after this, and Jace groans quietly at the thought of how hard Coach Garroway drives them. After next week’s game, they’ll finally get a break. It’s not championships, because they didn’t make it that far, but it’ll determine if they come third or fourth in the league, and that’s still a pretty big deal to them.

“I’m not really preten - hey, I’ll do it when you stop pretending Simon isn’t your friend.” He retorts, pleased with himself for coming up with such a snappy comeback, and Alec pinches the bridge of his nose like he can’t quite believe he’s still talking to Jace.

“I am taking musical performance for him.” He stresses. “What about that makes you think I’d take it for any other reason than not breaking a promise to Lewis?”

“Didn’t he take archery with you?” Jace asks, and Alec shrugs. “Also, didn’t he only recommend this class because that cute chemistry TA is in it?”

“We don’t talk about that.” Izzy’s voice echoes, and they turn to wait for her to catch up. Her hair is wet and she’s in fresh clothes from when she left the apartment this morning; she must have just had cheer practice.

“Where’s your number one fan, a redhead that just watches while you practice because she happens to have a free period?” Alec asks slyly, smirking, and Izzy flushes.

“I just saved you from being interrogated about the chem TA and this is what I get?” She asks, indignant, and Alec laughs and lets her hook an arm in his elbow. She hooks her other arm in Jace’s elbow, dragging them both along, and they bicker the rest of the way to class.

Serenades is still written in large letters over the board, and when they get in, to their surprise Alec makes a beeline for the performance seat. Izzy and Jace raise an eyebrow at him, and he shakes his head.

“Not a word.” He threatens them, but the set of his shoulders is familiar - determination, and when this sort of mood overtakes Alec he doesn’t really back down from it.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Jace says, smiling, as he sinks into one of the seats. Simon skids into class a moment later, breathless as he collapses into the chair next to Jace.

“Whoo, Alec!” He shouts gleefully, and Alec flips him off without looking from where he’s fiddling with the strings of a guitar. “I helped him arrange the piece.”

“Alec! Our Alec!” Izzy sighs theatrically in her seat, slouching backwards and pretending to faint. “It’s so distressing when children grow up - ”

“If he glares any harder at you he’ll break something.” Clary remarks, coming to sit in the row below. Izzy immediately vaults into the same row, neatly sliding into the seat next to her, and Jace watches with a grin as Clary giggles at that.

“Ten bucks says they’ll be together by the end of next week.” Simon says, and Jace eyes him up.

“I’ll take that bet, and say it’s three weeks from now.” Jace says, and they shake on it. Simon’s hand is warm, his palm soft, and Jace is struck with the absurd urge to hold on, to feel the safety of being anchored by the other man.

“Jace?” Simon asks, and Jace blinks, pulling his hand away and sitting up in his chair as Coach Garroway comes in. “You okay there, man?”

“Peachy.” Jace says, nudging Simon companionably. “So what’s Alec singing?”

“Oh man, it’s so great, just really cliche and - ” Simon sighs, running a hand across the top of his hair, something pensive in his face. “It’s one of the sweetest songs I know. I wanted to - well, it doesn’t matter now.”

Garroway calls them all to attention, so Simon turns to face the front, but Jace can fill in the blanks - Simon wanted to sing it, or have it sung to him, and he thought he’d get that but he didn’t, and now he’s given up on the chance and let Alec do the song.

And it’s because of Jace.

Even when Alec starts singing A summer rain is passing over , his voice low and hesitant, all Jace can think of is the look on Simon’s face, the wistfulness in his eyes. From beside him, Simon starts to harmonize, and it makes his heart sink even further in his chest.

Alec hasn’t said that the song is for anyone in particular, but the way he’s looking at Magnus is explanation enough, his eyes surprisingly earnest and determined. Alec always does see things through, unexpectedly persistent, and in this there’s no exception; Magnus has a soft, stunned expression on his face, something terribly vulnerable there that Jace feels like the rest of them aren’t meant to see.

Don’t you know, you stop the room Alec sings, and Jace picks up the melody and absently sings oh, oh after every line, echoing Alec’s baritone. He hears Izzy and Clary harmonizing, reciting the lyrics perfectly, and the entire room seems to be holding it’s breath, only the soft strum of the guitar and various voices weaving across each other.

You must be my once in a lifetime, once in a lifetime echoes through the room, Alec’s chest rising ever so slightly, and it suddenly clicks in Jace’s mind, and he looks at Simon, at his stupidly endearing face and the way he’s entirely absorbed in supporting Alec’s performance and thinks my once in a lifetime.

“No, don’t tell me.” Clary says as she drops into the seat across from Simon. “You’re practicing to be mopey groupie number two in the theater play, and that’s why you’re sitting outside of Jace’s class, waiting for him.”

“I’m sitting here because he asked me to.” Simon says indignantly, marking his place in his jazz composition workbook and setting it aside. “It’s our thing, Wednesday smoothie runs after he finishes class. You know this.” Clary looks at him and raises an eyebrow, sighing.

“You know I love you, Simon, but this seems like you’re just torturing yourself.” She tells him, her voice gentle. “I mean, he… hurt you, didn’t he? Why aren’t you thinking about that at all?” Simon groans and thunks his head down on the table.

“Because I’m a masochist.” He mutters morosely, before he straightens up and regards Clary. “I don’t think… he feels something. If he needs time to work through that, it’s okay. I’ll wait.”

“Simon, I just - you deserve to be happy too.”

“I know.” Simon looks up as the doors of the lecture hall open and students begin to stream out. He and Clary stand, gathering their things. “I’m just not ready yet to give up hope.”

“You have always been an optimist with people.” Clary smiles at him and gives him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “See you later, Si.”

“Later, Clary.” He says, waving as she walks away, and he turns to see Jace lingering a few steps away, a strange expression on his face.

“What was Clary doing here?” Jace asks instead of a greeting, and Simon gives him a look.

“Hello to you too. Yeah, it’s been a pain waiting in the sun for you, thanks for asking. She just wanted to -”

“If it’s such a pain you’re free to leave.” Jace snaps, his shoulders hunching forward. Simon frowns and reaches a hand out to clasp Jace’s shoulder.

“Hey, I didn’t mean it like that.” He says, puzzled at Jace’s reaction. “You all right?”

“Fine.” Jace sighs and looks at Simon, running a hand through his hair. “Smoothies? You wouldn’t believe the stupid question someone asked today.”

“ Try me.” Simon groans, falling step besides the taller man as they make their way across campus. He almost forgets about Jace’s odd behavior as they get their drinks and meander towards the football field, where Jace has practice in another hour, until Jace abruptly brings it up.

“What did Clary want? When she was talking to you when my class ended?” Jace asks, idly leaning against the bleacher stands in the shade. Simon leans on the one opposite to him and makes a face.

“Some very inspirational stuff about being happy.” He says, which technically isn’t a lie. Jace snorts.

“You’re telling me that under the bleachers next to the entire colleges worth of hot dog wrappers and soda cans isn’t your happy place?” He asks sardonically, waving a hand around them. Simon grins and looks down at his smoothie cup, fiddling with the straw.

“You’re right, it’s the happiest place.” He says. “She’s just looking out for me, that’s all.”

“You’re not?” Jace asks, and when Simon looks up he’s suddenly much closer than he was before, having pushed off the bleacher stand and come to a halt right in front of Simon. Past the smell of dirt and metal baking in the sun, he can suddenly smell Jace’s cologne, something mild and vaguely sweet. “Happy, I mean?”

When his eyes meet Jace’s, it feels like all the airs been sucked out of his lungs at the intensity reflected in the blue-brown of Jace’s gaze. He’s drowning, lost in the uncertainty of Jace and whatever’s happening right now, close enough to be able to reach out and touch and take everything he’s ever wanted.

“Jace.” He says, unsure and Jace’s eyes flick briefly to his lips, the glance so fleeting that Simon’s half-sure he imagined it. “I don’t - I - “

He trails off. What is he supposed to say? What does Jace want to hear? What game is he playing?

“She’s right.” Jace says hoarsely, his voice quiet between them. “You deserve to be happy.”

He steps back, and Simon releases a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, suddenly aching to hold Jace close and never let him go. He misses Jace, which is ridiculous, because he’s right in front of Simon, looking lost and angry.

“I’m gonna head over to the lockers to get to practice early.” Jace says, and there’s a stillness between them that’s never been there before. “Stay and watch the practice? Coach always goes easier when Clary and you are there.” Simon smiles lightly at that, strained, and rubs the back of his neck.

“That’s not true, but sure.” He says. “Gotta study for that econ midterm next week, anyway.”

Jace nods, and they both set off. Simon finds a nice shady spot on the bleachers where he can slouch comfortably and still see the football team practicing over the top of his notebook. Clary finds her way to him when the cheer team starts practicing, humming and flipping through her nearly completed portfolio.

“Here’s the one I was looking for.” She says cheerfully, and she pulls one out to hand to him. He looks up from where he’s been furiously working out a supply-demand problem and squints at her.

“Is today just the day where we all stop greeting Simon Lewis? Hi Simon, how’s your day been? How’s your studying going - “

“Don’t be so dramatic .” She scolds as she insistently pushes the painting at him. He takes it and looks at it silently for a few moments.

“It’s us.” He says finally. “It’s all of us.”

“Mm-hm.” She nods, looking out at the field. “I asked Izzy out, by the way. Accidentally. I asked her to get coffee, she asked ‘As a date?’ and I panicked and said no, then yes.”

“Smooth.” He says, still staring at the painting. They’re all laughing, walking down the quad with their bags slung over their shoulders. Clary and him are at the center, laughing like idiots. Clary’s hair is flying in the wind, her eyes crinkled with amusement as she looks at Izzy, who has an arm slung around her and is grinning. On Izzy’s other side is Alec, explaining something to Magnus, who’s looking at him with an unbearably fond look on his face. And Simon’s -

Simon’s grinning at Jace, dimples showing in full force, and Jace has a half smile on his face, his hand halfway through the process of fixing his hair, shoulder nudging Simon. He feels a sudden, intense wave of longing hit him as he stares at the painting, at the shades of gold and brown streaked through the canvas, at the warm way they’re all looking at each other.

“Look, we’re maybe not…as good at reading signals as we always think we are.” Clary says quietly. She motions at her painting. “But you know, that doesn’t mean it was bad to try.”

“Yeah?” Simon asks, passing the painting back and shading his eyes from the sun as he looks at the field. Luke’s calling out numbers, and they’re all throwing themselves at each other. The cheerleaders are going through their cool down exercises on the other end of the field, Izzy standing at the front and calling out orders.

“I know I told you you deserve to be happy.” Clary says firmly. “And you do . And I just don’t want you and Jace to mess up the happiness you guys do give each other just because you’re reenacting Romeo and Juliet.”

“I really thought I had a chance.” Simon says quietly, staring down at his econ notes again, unseeing. “I still do, he almost - well, I don’t know what he was doing by the bleachers. He looked like he was going to kiss me.”

Clary puts her arm around him and squeezes him tight, her eyes full of sympathy. On anyone else it annoys him, but on Clary, who has only ever wanted him to be happy, it’s alright.

“You’ll get there, yeah?” She says, and he smiles, feeling a little lighter.

“I will.” He agrees, just as Izzy makes her way to them.

“Hey.” She grins at Clary, and waves at Simon. “I know I’m sweaty and we technically haven’t had a first date yet, but mind a kiss on the cheek?”

“Oh,” Clary sighs dramatically as she gets up, “what will my Mama say at the audacity?” Izzy laughs as she presses a kiss to Clary’s cheek, making a loud smacking noise as she pulls away.

“Hey Lewis!” Jace yells from the edge of the field, leaning on the fence that separates the bleachers and the grass. “Did you rig the bet so you would win?”

“Can’t help it if you’re slow on the uptake!” Simon hollers back. “Go shower and give me my ten bucks!”

“You bet on us?” Izzy muses. “I’m disappointed in Jace for betting wrong, honestly. And he calls himself my brother.”

“Ah yes, because we all could have predicted Clary tripping over her own words and accidentally asking you out.” Simon says wisely, tapping his nose, and Clary shoves him as he laughs.

They wait for Jace and Izzy to shower, and then they head to the Lightwood’s apartment, amicably chatting. He and Jace are back to their usual rhythm, with Jace obnoxiously flipping his wet hair in Simon’s direction and spraying him with water. It feels good to be back to solid footing with Jace, but there’s an undercurrent of something he can’t quite place, like he’s tiptoeing on the edge of a precipice, something about to happen to throw him off the cliff.

Jace can’t stop sneaking glances at Simon as they walk back, his heart unnaturally fast in his chest as he takes in the way Simon looks pensive every now and then, like he’s trying to figure something out. Fuck but Jace has got it bad for him, and it’s paralyzing him with indecision. He doesn’t do this whole thing, not really, and now more than ever he wishes he’d had enough courage to say yes to Simon when he’d been serenaded a week ago.

But if there’s one thing he’s never been good with, he thinks, it’s saying yes. He sees the way Clary and Izzy gravitate toward each other on the walk back to the apartment he and Izzy share with Alec, and it feels like a punch in the gut to see the easy way Izzy seems to adjust her heart to vulnerability. It seems like an insurmountable task to him, an impossible thing to let himself be happy with Simon.

Simon , who probably doesn’t even want him anymore; it’s all a moot point anyway since he missed his chance -

“Hey, hey , earth to Jace?” Simon asks. “You in there man?”

“‘Course.” Jace says easily, flicking Simon’s shoulder. “I don’t always have my head in the clouds like some people.”

“ Hey .” Clary and Simon both exclaim at the same time, and Jace snorts as they both look at each other in surprise and indignation. Izzy laughs as she turns the key in the lock and lets them all into the apartment.

“You’re both the worst daydreamers.” She says fondly, moving to clear some of the takeout containers from yesterday’s dinner off the table. “You could do with coming down from there once in a while so you don’t trip over things.”

“I’ll have you know I’m the epitome of grace.” Simon sniffs haughtily as he sprawls into their ratty armchair, the one they bought from a shifty pre-med student who’d clearly been high when he sold to them.

“Well.” Clary hums, scrolling through her phone, but she doesn’t elaborate and Jace slides onto the armrest of the chair Simon’s on and ruffles his hair.

“Remember that one music department performance where you broke their mic stand?” He asks, and Simon makes a face up at him.

“I was panicking .” He says, sighing deeply. There’s clinking from the kitchen, and Izzy comes out with cans of soda, placing them on the counter.

“In case anyone wants one.” She says, and she looks at Clary, who’s staring down at her phone with a thoughtful smile on her face. “What are you doing?”

“Success!” Clary crows at that moment, ignoring Izzy, and she taps her phone and suddenly cheerful guitar music is filtering through the room. The opening chords are familiar, and Jace smiles as Izzy laughs with delight.

“ My head is stuck in the clouds, ” Clary sings, putting her phone down and reaching out to grab Izzy’s hands, “ she begs me to come down, says - girl, quit fooling around .”

“ I told her - “ Simon and Jace interject, Simon enthusiastically bouncing in his seat. Izzy laughs and covers her face with her hands, a flush creeping onto her face, as Clary continues “ I love the view from up here, warm sun, and wind in my ear - “

“We’ll watch the world from above,” they sing together, “ as it turns to the rhythm of love .”

They look expectantly at Izzy, who sighs and removes her hands from her face, smiling shyly at Clary, and sliding her hands around her waist.

“We may only have tonight ,” She sings, launching into the chorus, picking Clary up and spinning her as Clary laughs in delight . Jace can’t stop the warm feeling from spreading in his chest as he sees his sister happy, the way they can’t seem to hold back the emotion on their faces, and it wells up in him, a fountain of hope that’s sudden and uplifting.

“ But till the morning sun,” He harmonizes, jumping up and spreading his arms wide, winking at Simon and pointing, “ you’re mine, all mine .”

“ Play the music low ,” Simon grins, getting into it and jumping to stand on the armchair, one hand clutched to his heart and the other reaching out to Jace standing on the floor, “ and sway to the rhythm of love .”

It’s Clary and Izzy’s song, no doubt, as Clary prettily serenades an overjoyed Izzy; but as he and Simon leap around the room and reenact the most dramatic poses they can think of, at one point simply chasing each other around the dinner table while singing backup for Clary, Jace begins to think that maybe - just maybe - he can do this.

The fact that Simon is playing around at all, that he’s gamely letting Jace spin him as they chorus oh, oh, oh to Clary’s she rises, up, like the tide - the moment her lips meet mine , his eyes sparkling with laughter and his hair in disarray, is a testament to the kind of person Simon Lewis is , the kind that always shelves his own feeling so everyone can be happy . He’s so brave, and strong, and Jace’s heart stutters in his chest, almost coming to a complete standstill when Simon brushes his fingers against the inside of Jace’s wrist and sings lowly play the music low .

The door opens as they sing the last line of the second chorus and Alec and Magnus step through, looking briefly confused, before Magnus’ eyes light up at the song that’s being played.

“ When the moon is low,” He immediately sings, the timbre of his voice rich and melodic as he turns and pulls Alec closer, “ We can dance in slow motion .” Alec grins, soft and surprised, and they join the others in the living room, swaying together as Clary tenderly cups Izzy’s face for the last few lines of the bridge.

The six of them go out for drinks that night, to toast to Izzy and Clary, and Maia and Raphael join them when they get to the bar. They’re all crammed into a corner booth, pressed against each other and loudly detailing every instance where Clary and Izzy flirted with each other, much to the chagrin of the couple in question. Clary is hiccuping into her glass of beer, mournfully insisting that she’s not blind, and Alec, who’s actually managed to get some alcohol into his system, is trying to solemnly inform her that it’s because she’s too short to really see anything going on at an adult eye level.

“Well she’s my little hobbit, so there.” Izzy says triumphantly to her brother, but this sets off another round of a weepy Clary wailing that she doesn’t want curly hair on her feet, and Simon’s almost choking with laughter at this point. He’s only a little buzzed, trying to keep his drinking to a minimum as he sips patiently at his own glass of beer, and Jace seems to be doing the same, pressed up against Simon’s side and eagerly heckling drunk Clary.

“You’re the perfect height for Simon to use as a mic stand.” Jace says thoughtfully, and Simon nearly chokes on his laughter.

“What, Jace, like you’re the perfect height to use as a pillow to sleep on?” Simon asks, laughing. Jace puffs his chest out proudly.

“You can’t sleep on this,” He says, gesturing to all of himself and nearly hitting Maia in the face, “it’s all muscles . It’d be like sleeping on a hardwood floor.”

“Is that what you call it when you get excited? A hardwood floor?” Maia asks, wiggling her eyebrows and leering at Jace. They all chorus with laughter, hollering and making a nuisance of themselves as the loudest table in the bar tonight.

“You’re all horrible.” Jace sighs, and he looks at Simon as Simon starts climbing over everyone stuffed in the booth. “Where are you going?”

“Restroom.” Simon says as he tumbles out of the booth and unsteadily straightens up. They all holler at him as he leaves, and he grins, making his way to the corner of the bar.

On the way back, he sees Alec at the bar counter and detours to him, propping his chin on his hands and staring up at the taller man.

“Hey, hello, wassup.” He says confidently, and Alec snorts.

“Are you drunk?” He asks, and Simon shrugs.

“Very, very, lightly buzzed.” He responds, and he squints at Alec. “You’re not?”

“Sobered up.” Alec agrees. “Just ordering Magnus a drink.”

“ Yeah you are.” Simon grins, winking as he nudges Alec, and Alec half-smiles even as he groans.

“What does that even mean ?” He asks Simon, and Simon shrugs, eyes tracing the bright blue alcohol on the shelf behind the bar, wondering what it is.

“It means I’m happy for you guys.” He says, and it comes out more wistful than he meant it to, more melancholy, and Alec frowns.

“Listen,” he starts, “about Jace - “

“It’s fine.” Simon hunches his shoulders feeling like all he does these days is repeat that mantra. “ Really .”

“No, I mean - look, I know I don’t say this very often, but - Jace didn’t know what he was doing.” Alec says, his voice low.

“When does he ever? You say that all the time.” Simon smirks, and Alec cuts him a look.

“I’m serious.” Alec says softly. “You deserve to be happy.”

There’s a crash, and Alec and Simon both look behind them to see Jace standing there, a glass shattered on the floor by his feet. He looks like he’s been hit by a car, his eyes wide and shocked, and his hands clenched in fists.

“Jace - “ Alec starts, but Jace turns on his heel and walks away faster than either of them can predict; they’re left standing there, stunned, staring at the empty space where Jace was standing only seconds ago.

Jace can’t seem to get his mind to work on anything except running an endless loop of Alec telling Simon You deserve to be happy . It just seems so - so simple. He was the one that hurt Simon, that made Simon think that he couldn’t have happiness. What right does he have to even look Simon’s way right now?

Alec and Clary - and possibly the rest of the group - are all right; Simon deserves to have everything and Jace isn’t a part of that future. He can’t comprehend how he thought he ever deserved to be. Simon deserves someone who isn’t afraid, someone who can show affection without fucking it up like Jace does, someone who will adore him and be reliable for him. Jace is none of those things.

He reaches the apartment quicker than normal, taking the last block at almost a run. He jams his key into the lock, cursing loudly when the key doesn’t turn. He feels stupid and small, humiliated for no reason at all.

“ Fuck !” He shouts, slamming his hand against the door. “Fuck.” He whispers, quieter.

“ Jace !” He hears Alec’s voice call, and he whirls around to face his brother.

“What?” he asks shortly.

“Why did you run off?” Alec asks. “You okay?”

“Fine.” Jace says through gritted teeth, and Alec gives him a look and sighs, but he doesn’t prod. Jace isn’t even sure if he wants Alec to prod. Alec moves to the door and unlocks it, letting them both through. There’s silence through the apartment as Jace sheds his jacket and shoes, slumping onto the sofa.

Alec appears with a bottle of water and hands it to him, and he grunts his thanks as he drinks the whole thing down. They sit next to each other, pensive, until Alec breaks the silence.

“How much did you hear?” Alec asks. Jace shifts uncomfortably, his mouth twisting into a frown as he remembers.

“Just you telling Simon he deserves to be happy.” He looks at Alec and adds “I’m not angry at you or anything. Simon does .”

“Then what had you running away?” Alec asks quietly. Jace twists the Herondale ring between his fingers, rubbing his finger against the cool metal.

“ I was the one that said no to him.” Jace says, his voice low. “I hurt him, and everyone else is right - he deserves to be happy with someone else.”

“Jace - “

“And I’m just so angry that I can’t be that person for him.” Jace finishes, clenching his jaw. “It makes me furious at myself.”

“ Jace .” Alec sounds exasperated now, and when Jace looks at him Alecs’s got a fond look on his face. “Before you heard us, I told Simon that you hadn’t known what you were doing.”

“I - “

Alec shifts closer to him on the sofa and shakes his head. “Stop beating yourself about it. Simon never wanted you to do anything more than you were comfortable with. You can still make him happy.”

“But he deserves - “ Jace tries, and Alec pinches his arms, hard.

“He deserves you .” Alec says. “So go be yourself.”

Simon slouches into his seat in musical performance, frowning when he sees that Jace isn’t there. Figures.

He’s not sure what’s going through Jace’s head right now, but he wants to be there for Jace and help him through it - and he would, if it weren’t for the fact that Jace isn’t responding to any calls or messages, and Alec told Simon to ‘give him some time’ when he stopped by the Lightwood apartment.

Everything in Simon is screaming to hold Jace, to comfort him, and God - he really is in love with Jace. Nothing can stop that, apparently.

“Don’t mope so much.” Meliorn says as he slides into the seat next to Simon. “Over one boy, and Jace at that? You can do better.”

“ That’s not the advice we said we’d give him.” Raphael says, sitting down next to Meliorn and looking supremely annoyed. “We discussed this. This - “

“Well it’s true . Have you seen Jace? Isabelle is really the only one - “

“You’re still upset that Jace did better than you in that anthropology class, let it go Meliorn - “

“This has been the best advice I’ve received yet about the whole thing.” Simons says, laughing, even as Raphael scowls at him and Meliorn smiles serenely. “You guys are the best.”

“It’s - oh, he’s here. Good, I wasn’t sure what to say.” Meliorn says, and Simon turns to see Jace walk into class, the last person to come in.

Jace looks unfairly good, like always. It makes a fierce urge rise in Simon to dig his fingers into Jace’s shoulders and never let go, and when Jace looks at him like that, eyes piercing and clear, the emotion in his chest overflows. How can he keep going like this? It’s - torturous .

“We’re going to have a shorter class today, everyone,” Luke says, clapping his hands and breaking Simon out of his reverie. Jace is still lounging by the door, fiddling with the strap of his backpack. “We’ve got one last serenade left, and then I’m going to leave early because the game’s been pushed up by half an hour, and I need my players to be ready. We’ll push the group number to Monday. Jace?”

Surprised, Simon turns to see Jace walk forward, tossing his bag in a chair and gripping the mic stand. He’s standing tall and proud, staring right at Simon, and Simon can feel the beginnings of an adrenaline rush thrumming through his veins as everyone shifts around him, throwing little smiles and whispering as they stare at Simon. They all know something he doesn’t.

“This one is for Simon.” Jace says, his voice steady, and Simon lets out a half-whispered what because suddenly music is playing from the speakers, and Jace’s face is open and terribly vulnerable; Simon can’t breathe .

“ I breathe in slow to compose myself,” Jace starts, his voice low and rich, his lips turned up at the corners as he looks at Simon, “ but the beating heart I left on the shelf started speeding round, beating half to death, cause you’re here and you’re - “ He pauses and closes his eyes, and around Simon everyone else finishes the line, a soft chorus of all mine echoing around the room.

He’s dreaming. He has to be, he thinks, as the sunlight streams into the room suddenly, appearing from behind clouds and making Jace’s golden hair glow like a halo around his face.

“ So I press my lips down into your neck ,” Jace is singing, and Clary and Maia have joined in on harmony now, their voices rising and falling seamlessly through Jace’s tune, “ and I stay there, and I reconnect - bravery - “

He opens his eyes and looks straight at Simon, and then he shakes his head fondly, singing “ I’ve been trying to be perfect - it can wait for a while. ”

Alec’s voice joins in now, accompanying Jace as they sing scared of the hope in my head, it’s been making me sweat, but it turns out - and then Izzy jumps in, her hand tangled loosely with Clary’s as she adds you’re here with your head on my chest, I should’ve guessed .

Everyone looks at him, smiling, and Simon bites his lip, his heart thundering his ribcage as Jace breaks out in a helpless smile.

The music swells to a crescendo then, and everyone - even Meliorn and Raphael - chorus “ The world will turn, and we’ll grow, we’ll learn, how to be,” They sweep their hands out, clasping the hands of partners and friends as they all sing “ to be incomplete.”

It’s loud, deafening almost, and even Luke is smiling at him. Jace walks towards Simon, his hands in his pockets, not even bothering with a mic as everyone repeats the chorus around them, his voice rising clearly above it all.

“ I don’t wanna look down ,” He sings fiercely, his eyes alive as they fix on Simon’s, “ I don’t want us to break up in the clouds, all I want is to stay us, to stay with you now. ”

He’s almost in front of Simon, his voice strong as he repeats the bridge over the rest of the room’s chorus, the music a crashing symphony of guitar and piano twining together to create a sound that’s large and hopeful , warm in the same way Jace’s smile is as he sings to Simon.

Simon stands, half unsure of what he’s going to do, as Jace comes to his seat, and his heart is ready to fly out of his chest as everyone sings, jumping across chairs and matching pitch with each other as best as they can. It’s wild, and raucous, and full of the kind of spirit that only their motley assortment of friends can have; Raj is breakdancing to the song on the floor, egged on by Lydia, but Simon couldn’t care less at the sight of Jace in front of him, genuine and so very real . Alec and Izzy have their phones out, filming, and Clary is shooting them both a thumbs up.

“ And the world will turn,” Jace sings, joining in on the last chorus, “ and we’ll grow, we’ll learn how to be, to be incomplete.” Everyone else’s voices fade out, and he continues quietly to Simon, “ This here now, it’s where we touch down, you and me - “

He pauses, exhales, and continues, his voice quiet.

“ Let’s be incomplete .”

Applause erupts after Jace finishes his song, and someone is wolf-whistling, but all he can look at is Simon, who’s staring at him with wide brown eyes, teeth worrying at his bottom lip. Jace smiles.

“I’m not straight.” He says, and from somewhere behind him he hears Alec and Clary snicker and Magnus sigh, but he shrugs his shoulders and continues. “And I, uh, wanna know if you still want to try this. I like you, more than you could know, and if I can make you happy, I will.” He takes a deep breath, and tries to quell his beating heart.

“Just think about it, okay?” He says, and Simon looks stunned, floored by the revelation.

“Jace - “ He says, but Jace shakes his head and smiles.

“Think about it.” He repeats, and then he’s running down the stairs and grabbing his bag, walking out of the classroom and down the hallway towards the field for the game. He can feel energy pulsing through his blood, like a shot of morphine in his veins, and he’s grinning, unable to stop thinking about Simon.

“ Hey .” Alec calls, and Jace turns to see Alec and Raphael power walking to catch up with him. “Jace, why’d you run away again ?”

Jace shrugs, fiddles with his ring as he turns and they all keep walking. He’s still smiling, which is probably why Alec and Raphael are looking at him with curiosity and now with worry.

“He shouldn’t say yes to me just because I sang to him.” Jace says. “I just wanted to give him a chance to process it. I know he gets overwhelmed too.”

“You care about him.” Raphael says, a hint of surprise in his voice, and the unspoken you care that much isn’t lost on Jace. Jace nods, and Raphael looks marginally pleased. “It was a good serenade for Simon.”

And hearing those words out loud, that he just serenaded Simon , makes it even more real, the dreamlike quality of his performance slipping away as he giddily remembers how gorgeous and happy Simon had looked, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Jace wants to be the reason for that happiness, and he just - loves Simon so much that he knows this is it. He’d wait, like Simon did, if he had too. Simon is worth it. Simon is worth everything .

But he pushes that out of his mind and focuses on the game. It’s slightly nerve-wracking to play, because they’ve worked hard all season and the other team fights dirty, with the refs biased towards them. By the end of the first half Alec has to physically pull Raj away from punching the ref too many times to count, and Raphael is slowly and methodically making his way through every curse word in the Spanish language. Jace, sweating underneath his helmet, looks past the bright stadium lights to where a small group of people are holding a banner that says Lightwould you win for us? and smiles, because he can make out a tiny spec with brown hair that he assumes is Simon. He grins to himself, thumps his teammate on the back, and locks eyes with Alec.

“Let’s do this.” He says.

They play harder, faster, rougher than they’ve played in a long time. Dimly, Jace thinks that if they play like this next year they could probably make it to the championships next year. He’s too busy listening for Alec’s commands and tracking the action around him to think too hard about it though, and he grits his teeth and powers through the ache in his back and left knee. They’re going to fucking win this, they have to -

“And Santiago is racing down the field for the tie-breaking touchdown - will he make it? - Second left on the clock folks - Lightwood blocks an intercept - another one - he’s almost there! Santiago’s almost - TOUCH DOWN!!”

The team erupts into cheers, streaming onto the field to Raphael, who throws his helmet off and actually grins , with teeth, at the enemy team, hissing at them, before he’s hoisted onto the shoulders of their teammates. Jace manages to clap him on the back before the rest of the crowd of fans and teammates swallow him up, and he finds himself by Alec and Raj. They’re exuberant , and they can’t stop laughing and high-fiving each other.

“Look.” Raj says suddenly, shouting, and Jace turns to see Simon making his way onto the field, straight towards them. Jace takes a step forward, his eyes lighting up, and then he hesitates.

“Go get him.” Alec encourages.

Jace tears down the field, his muscles burning as he pushes them past his exhausted limit and runs towards Simon. Simon starts walking faster, half-running, as he sees Jace do so too.

“Jace,” Simon yells, grinning, “you were amazing, it was awesome, you’re - “

Jace crashes into Simon and sweeps him up, spinning him around in a hug and setting him down. Simon clings to Jace tightly, his hands finding purchase on the back of Jace’s neck, cool against Jace’s overheated skin, and Jace fists his hands in the front of Simon’s shirt, suddenly breathless at the feeling of broad muscle underneath him.

“Yes?” Jace asks, his lips inches from Simon’s. Simon rolls his eyes.

“Yes.” He says firmly, and then he yanks Jace down and Jace pulls him forward and they’re kissing , hard and fast and messy. Simon swipes his tongue against Jace’s lips and Jace instantly parts them, leaning in hungrily, letting Simon devour him, entirely too filthy for the very public football field. He can’t bring himself to care and he doesn’t think Simon can either, by the way that Simon lets out a low groan and slides his hand up to fist in Jace’s hair, yanking out his hasty hair tie and tangling his fingers in the sweaty strands. Simon pulls , and Jace lets out a sharp breath as his head is forced back and Simon skims his teeth over the line of Jace’s jaw, following it with a soft kiss to the underside of his chin -

“Can we keep it PG-13?” a voice asks, and they break apart to see Magnus and the rest of the gang strolling over, all smiling at them.

“Get a room.” Clary heckles cheerfully, and Jace tightens his grip around Simon’s waist.

“Absolutely not. The world is our room.” He says immediately, impatiently blowing away the strands of hair that have begun to fall in his face. Simon absently reaches over and tucks the offending hair behind his ear.

“Oh no.” Alec bemoans as money begins to exchange hands and they all cash in on the betting pool for Jace and Simon. “Oh no no no , you’re going to be that couple.”

“We sure are.” Simon agrees, smacking a kiss on Jace’s cheek. Jace thinks he’ll remember this forever; Simon, looking at him like there’s nowhere else he’d rather be than here, holding Jace’s hand.

Simon wakes up on Saturday to a warm weight on his shoulder, hair tickling his neck. He rubs his eyes blearily and squints down at the vaguely Jace-shaped blob on his chest, smiling hazily as he strokes his other hand down Jace’s bare back, following the dip and curve of the other man’s spine. Jace makes a noise and nestles deeper into Simon’s shoulder, grumbling.

“It’s almost eleven, we have to go to brunch with your siblings and their significant others.” Simon says as he blindly feels for his glasses on the nightstand and slides them on. Jace comes into sharper focus, eyes crusted with sleep as he screws them shut and tightens his fingers against Simon’s waist.

“They can starve and we can order room service.” Jace mumbles. “And then we can have sex again and again.”

“This is an apartment building, not a hotel, we’re the ones that’ll starve, and we’re not having sex until we study for midterms.” Simon groans, pinching Jace’s arm in retaliation. “Stop trying to be a bad - “

“ Midterms .” Jace hisses, and he sits up suddenly in a wild panic, blinking down at a bemused Simon. “It’s Saturday, isn’t it.” Simon sits up too, laughing as he nods, and Jace throws the nearest pillow at him.

“Stop, stop, this bed isn’t big enough for us to have a pillow fight.” Simon manages to get out as he smothers his laughter with the pillow. Jace sighs, looks upward briefly like he’s praying for strength, then takes the pillow from Simon and tosses it to the side, swinging his leg over Simon’s lap and straddling him in one smooth move.

“But it is big enough for other things.” He says, waggling his eyebrows, and Simon grins and leans forward to kiss him, morning breath be damned, unable to help himself, smoothing his thumb across the skin right above the waistband of Jace’s sleep pants. Jace makes a satisfied noise and drags his hand through the hair on Simon’s chest, tracing nonsensical patterns across his stomach.

They kiss for a while, slow and lazy, time seeming to come to a syrupy standstill in the warm morning light as they move together, hands skimming across soft skin. Eventually, Simon pulls away and looks at Jace fondly.

“I still can’t believe this is real, wow .” He says, and Jace smirks at him.

“Better believe it, Lewis.” He says, tilting his head and running his thumb across Simon’s lower lip. His expressions changes then, something more serious flitting across his face, and he carefully cradles Simon’s face in his hands. “I’m sorry. For making you wait. It was stupid of me.”

“Not stupid.” Simon says immediately. He draws Jace closer to him, and he sighs happily at the warm feeling of waking up to the sun decorating his boyfriend’s skin like this. “You’ve always been worth the wait.”

“You mean so much to me.” Jace whispers to him, and they’re kissing again, fiercer and deeper, pouring their hearts into it, until their phones ring shrilly with alarms and Magnus yells at them from the living room to get moving. As they’re getting dressed, Simon looks over at Jace and grins.

“But I’m never letting you forget the time you yelled out I’m straight!! to an entire room of people who knew that you were no heterosexual, no sir.” He says, and then yelps as Jace throws another pillow.

“It’s on Lewis.” Jace says, smirking, and then he’s chasing Simon out of the room, and they’re both laughing, and it’s perfect. It’s perfect.

#jimon #jace wayland #simon lewis #shadowhunters #glee au #it's done!! i meant for this to be maybe 3k or 4k but l m a o #i miss the good parts of glee #:(#when will they have a musical episode of shadowhunters #like a full musical one #anyway i hope everyone enjoys #also i love anne #who i wrote this for #just so everyone knows #i write sometimes

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weekendwarriorblog · 6 years

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The Weekend Warrior’s Top 25 Movies of 2018!

What a year we’ve been having with all the politics and internet craziness and my own personal life, struggling to survive without a job and very little work, and YET, it was an absolutely fantastic year for movies. There is no arguing that fact when a good percentage of my annual top 25 came from movies I saw at Sundance way back in January. While there may be a few noticeable omissions that appear on many other top 10s, as well as a few movies I liked that were obvious awards fodder, I’m pretty happy with what turned out to be one of my more eclectic top 25 lists with a mix of smaller indies and big budget blockbusters. (In case you’re interested, I saw 248 movies in 2018, and that is only counting the new movies released during the year and not dozens more movies I saw at film festival and hundreds of older films.)

I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it…. Or rather, I hope you enjoy reading this because it took me a long time to write it.

25. Stan and Ollie (Sony Pictures Classics) – One of the recurring trends I saw happening during what was a relatively sucky year was that many of my favorite things from childhood were brought to the big screen. In this case, it’s the story of Laurel and Hardy, as ably played by Steve Coogan and John C. Reilly, as it covers the last few years of their partnership as they’re struggling to fill theaters during a UK tour. The performances by the duo were splendid, as were the two actors playing their respective wives (a hilarious Nina Arianda and Shirley Henderson), the script by Jeff Pope really putting you into the comedy duo’s world and mindset. Kudos to Jon S. Baird for this fantastic biopic, which opens next week in New York and L.A.

24. Annihilation (Paramount) – Alex Garland’s sophomore film, his follow-up to the excellent Ex-Machina, was a fantastic adaptation of Jeff Vandermeer’s sci-fi novel that should have been as accepted as Arrival, especially with the fantastic premise and performance by Natalie Portman, as well as Jennifer Jason Leigh, Tessa Thompson and Oscar Isaac. Sadly, I didn’t rewatch it on Netflix when I had the chance but this is definitely something I’d buy on blu-ray.

23. Mary Poppins Returns (Walt Disney Pictures) – Continuing the theme from Stan and Ollie, Disney finally made a sequel to one of my favorite movies as a kid with the wonderful Emily Blunt stepping into the shoes of Julie Andrews, and I was shocked by how much I enjoyed it, especially since I wasn’t a fan of Rob Marshall’s Into the Woods… or Chicago, for that matter. For this one, Marshall perfectly captured the magic I felt first watching Mary Poppinsand listening to the album over and over as a kid, with really fun songs, including some co-written by Lin Manuel Miranda, I believe.

22. Aquaman (Warner Bros.) – While Aquaman has never been my favorite DC superhero, I had high hopes for director James Wan’s first foray into superheroics, and I wasn’t disappointed. Granted, there was a lot to keep up with, since he fit a lot of story into one movie… I mean, who wouldn’t, considering the chances of there ever being an Aquaman sequel? But yeah, Jason Momoa really sold me on the character, and the way the movie remained faithful to the Aquaman lore and mythos made in the comics, and there was just so much to enjoy that I can’t wait to see it again.

21. Boy Erased (Focus Features) – Another second feature, this one from Joel Edgerton, who adapted, directed and co-starred in this adaptation of Garrard Conley’s memoir of growing up with a preacher father and religious mother who sent him to participate in a gay conversion program run by a zealous fanatic (played by Edgerton). I thought Lucas Hedges was just fantastic in the lead in this as well as in his father Peter Hedges’ movie Ben is Back, so this year finally put me on the Lucas Hedges wagon despite him appearing in multiple Best Picture-nominated movies over the last couple years. (I also want to point out the Honorable Mention The Miseducation of Cameron Post, which was also quite good as it looked at the problems caused by these gay conversion programs.)

20. Crazy Rich Asians (New Line/Warner Bros.) – I fought tooth and nail against buying into the hype for this all-Asian cast adaptation of Kevin Kwan’s best-selling novel, but I’m a total sucker for romance, especially the romantic comedy genre, and this was a fine one for the ages. My worries about this being seen as Asian wealth porn was somewhat off-base – although there was some of that in there – and this ended up being the perfect movie for one of my fave directors, Jon M. Chu, to finally be taken seriously in Hollywood. Granted, I already loved Constance Wu from Fresh Off the Boat and Michelle Yeoh from a million movies, but I loved what newcomers Henry Goulding and Awkwafina brought to the mix, and I even liked Ken Jeong in this, so yeah, a pleasant surprisw, and one I probably will rewatch again soon.

19. Roma (Netflix) – Likewise, I finally saw this movie at New York Film Festival after tons of hype out of Telluride, Toronto and Venice, but I immediately was able to relate to the love the kids in the film have for their maid, something similar to my own childhood living in Brazil in the early ‘70s. There’s no denying that director Alfonso Cuaron makes stunning films that leaves your jaw agape in every scene, and what an amazing coup for first-timer Yalitza Aparicio, an indigenous woman who might have had a hard time getting roles if not for Cuaron’s brilliance in casting her. This movie hit me even harder emotionally a second time, although I still wouldn’t place it higher on my year-end list since I thought some of it was noticeable directorial wanking i.e. Cuaron could do these big set pieces merely because he had the ability and money to do so.

18. On the Basis of Sex and RBG (Focus Features / Magnolia) – I’m cheating here a little bit just because this year saw two fantastic films about Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, first in the doc by Betsy West and Julie Cohen, which created a beautiful portrait of the amazing woman. Later in the year, Felicity Jones portrayed Ginsburg in a pivotal point in her career where she goes before the Supreme Court to fight for gender equality. It’s an important case but also an important turning point in our country, and I love how Ginsburg’s relationship with her husband, played by the dashing Armie Hammer, was portrayed.

17. Monsters and Men (Neon) – A movie that was seemingly missed by anyone who didn’t see it at Sundance, and even by many who went to Sundance was Reinaldo Marcus Green’s drama about a shooting by a Brooklyn policeman and how it’s viewed by three different people from the neighborhood. Two of those people are Anthony Ramos’ Manny and John David Washington (from BlackKklansman) as a fairly young policeman dealing with the corruption and racism in the force. It also deals with a young baseball prodigy (Christopher Jordan Wallace) who wants to get involved with the protests against the killing even if it might hurt his chances at getting into a good college. If you have a chance to see this movie, you’re likely to be impressed by Green’s storytelling abilities and how it’s used.

16. Searching (Sony/Screen Gems) – Aneesh Chaganty’s directorial debut was an amazing thriller starring John Cho as a man whose daughter has disappeared and using only what can be viewed on a computer screen. Sure, it sounds like a gimmick, and it’s one that’s been used in films like Nacho Vigalondo’s Open Windows and the Unfriended series, but Cho’s performance is a career-best, and Chaganty finds a way to create a plausible thriller that keeps you invested in Cho finding his daughter. (And I loved the hint I discovered to the movie’s big twist on watching a second time.)

15. Widows (20thCentury Fox) – While I liked 12 Years a Slave just fine, Steve McQueen really blew me away with his foray into the heist genre, starring Viola Davis as the wife of a criminal (Liam Neeson), who dies in an attempt to steal millions from a local Chicago mob boss… and political candidate (Brian Tyree Henry – one of this year’s major MVPs). It seems like a fairly simple plot, but McQueen finds a way to integrate the local politics (incl. amazing performances by Colin Farrell and Robert DuVall), surround Davis with some amazing women (including Cynthia Erivo and Elizabeth Debicki) and create a heist film unlike any you would have seen before, as it was far more unconventional than other heist films, as one might expect.

14. Mary, Queen of Scots (Focus Features) – Fantastic performances by Saoirse Ronan as the title character and Margot Robbie as her cousin and rival Queen Elizabeth made Josie Rourke’s feature directorial debut quite an amazing film. It wasn’t just another costume drama, and as much as it sadly is being overshadowed by The Favourite, the material told this fascinating story about two feuding queens in such an interesting and exciting way, including an impressive battle sequence, making this very different from other period pieces, including the many that have been directed by men.

13. Instant Family (Paramount) – Another one of this year’s surprises was seeing Sean Anders, the director behind Daddy’s Home and its sequel, take on a more serious comedy based on his own real life. Apparently, he and his wife adopted three kids, so in this very funny, sweet and warm comedy, it’s Rose Byrne and Mark Wahlberg as a couple who take in three Latino kids, including the amazing Isabela Moner, who I think is going to be amazing as Dora the Explorer. But there was so much to enjoy about this film from the easy laughs to some of the sweeter and more touching human emotions on display.

12. Hereditary (A24) – Another film that premiered out of Sundance (that I missed there) was Ari Aster’s directorial debut, an absolutely horrifying film about a mother (Toni Collette) dealing with all sorts of strange supernatural occurrences after the death of her own mother. A24’s marketing for the film was such a brilliant bit of Red Herring creation that you might go in thinking that Collette’s daughter Charlie (played by Milly Shapiro) was gonna be the main antagonist/conflict… nope! Colette’s amazing performance was countered by a similar one from Alex Wolff, and if you weren’t totally creeped out by this movie’s ending, there’s probably something wrong with you. Aster proves himself to be a fascinating visual storyteller, so I can’t wait to see his next movie.

11. The Citizen (ArtMattan Productions) – Roland Vranik’s Hungarian film that premiered at the Berlin Film Festival all the way back in 2016 finally got a U.S. release thanks to New York’s Metrograph where it played for a number of weeks. After seeing the trailer a bunch of times, I ended up checking it out, and I was blown away by how timely and prescient the story of an African immigrant trying to become a Hungarian citizen related to what was going on in this country over the past year. It’s a wonderful indie film that sadly didn’t get the attention it deserved.

10. Eighth Grade (A24) – Yet another Sundance “discovery” was comedian Bo Burnham’s debut, which featured newcomer Elsie Fisher as 13-year-old Kayla, who is trying to deal with puberty, her last year in middle school and a pesky but lovable father, played by Josh Hamilton. This is just such an enjoyable even if you went to middle school so long ago that you barely remember it. Even so, Burnham found a way to tap into those feelings to create an extremely enjoyable comedy. I’m convinced Elsie Fisher is gonna be a superstar.

9. The Hate U Give (20thCentury Fox) – Probably one of the most underrated films of the year, which thankfully has gotten some critical love in the past few weeks. I thought this adaptation of Angie Love’s Y.A. novel about a teenager named Starr, played by Amandla Stenberg, fighting with the two sides of her life with the advent of #BlackLivesMatter after watching her childhood friend killed by a white police officer. The cast that producer George Tillman Jr. built around Stenberg was quite impressive, including Regina Hall, Russell Hornsby, Anthony Mackie and Common, with many powerful emotional moments that did a good job explaining what young black people in urban areas must deal with daily. It’s a fine return to form from the director of Notorious and Soul Food.

8. Ant Man and the Wasp (Marvel Studios) – I bet you didn’t expect to see THIS Marvel Studios rank so high while a couple others didn’t even place in my list (or even Honorable Mentions), huh? Maybe I’ve just gotten sick of the whole thing where every movie is basically set-up for the next movie, which has been the case for a while now. Sure, Ant-Man and the Wasp is a sequel to Ant-Man and there was a post-credits Avengers: Infinity War tie-in, but otherwise, this was the Ant-Man movie I had been hoping for after the rather disappointing first movie. Obviously, having Paul Rudd involved in the writing and not working from a previous plot (as was the case with the first movie) helped the characters from the first movie shine. (Also, loved the Ghost as an antagonist.)

7. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse (Sony) – It was a fairly tight race for my favorite superhero movie of the year, but after seeing this animated take on Marvel’s webbed wonder a second time, it was obvious to me that this was indeed one of the best feature film iterations of Spider-Man outside the comics. Sure, I was a fan of what Brian Bendis had done in the Ultimate comics, maybe not some of the Spider-Verse stuff introduced by Dan Slott, but taking those two disparate things and turning it into a true story about Miles Morales (voiced by Shameik Moore, who should be cast as Miles in a live action MCU movie) and then having Jake Johnson voicing the older “mentor” Spider-Man just made for a fun movie that exemplified all of the previous films directed and produced by Lord and Miller including The LEGO Movie and 21 Jump Street. I’m looking forward to more big-screen animated superhero movies, and yeah, I liked Incredibles 2 just fine but I was never that attached to the Pixar movie.

6. Love, Simon (20thCentury Fox) – After blowing up the DC Universe via his many CW TV shows, Greg Berlanti returned to the movies with this coming-out coming of age romantic comedy starring Nick Robinson as Simon Spier, a closeted gay teen who discovers that there might be another gay teen in the closet at his high school. This simple plot led to a wonderful high school coming-of-age rom-com that really brightened me up on a miserable day I was having (the first of many this year), and I loved how relatable Berlanti made the story.

5. Bad Times at the El Royale (20thCentury Fox) – Possibly one of the most underrated films of the year, Drew Goddard’s second film as a director after the similarly excellent Cabin in the Woods, featured a cadre of individuals converging on a mostly-abandoned hotel on the border of California and Nevada. Jeff Bridges plays a priest, Jon Hamm plays a travelling salesman and Broadway star Cynthia Erivo (also in Widows) is a singer who all show up at the same time, as we quickly discover, very little about the El Royale is as it seems. I almost don’t want to reveal too much more, because it’s the way the story unfolds which had many comparing it to Tarantino (both positively and negatively). I felt that so many filmmakers have tried to ape Tarantino and not understood what makes his storytelling style work so well, but Goodard figured it out, and delivered a rich film full of many surprises. I can’t recommend the film more, since I know very few people had a chance to see it in theaters.

4. Mission: Impossible – Fallout (Paramount) – Considering how much I was disappointed by Christopher McQuarrie’s Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation, I expected its direct sequel to be more of the same, and boy, was I wrong. Tom Cruise and McQuarrie pulled out all the stops to create a viable conclusion to the four movies that had been produced along with JJ Abrams and Bad Robot, which included the extraordinary 4thmovie directed by Brad Bird. I was impressed the first time I saw this in IMAX… but then I saw it again… and again… and again. I just couldn’t get enough of the amazing action scenes and the intricate plot (even though I found a few holes in it). I’m so psyched to see what McQuarrie does next, and it successfully reminded everyone why Cruise is the star that he is.

3. Juliet, Naked (Lionsgate / Roadside Attractions) – The fact that filmmaker Jesse Peretz was able to adapt one of my favorite Nick Hornby novels in a way that’s faithful but not to a fault made this one of my favorite movies of this year’s Sundance Film Festival. If you couldn’t tell from my love for Instant Family, I absolutely love Rose Byrne, and she killed it as Annie, a woman living in a seaside English town with her boyfriend Duncan (Chris O’Dowd) as an avid fan of musician Tucker Crowe. When Annie posts something negative about a newly-discovered Crowe rarity on Duncan’s blog, they break up, but she also ends up having a long-distance relationship with the actual Crowe, played by Ethan Hawke. There’s just something so spot-on about Hornby’s book and this adaptation was just as enjoyable, genuinely warm and very, very funny. I wish more people went to go see it.

2. A Star is Born (Warner Bros.) – Believe me, there may be no one more surprised by how far this movie has placed in my year-end list than myself. I’m not a huge Bradley Cooper fan, nor do I particularly like Lady Gaga or her music, but this is a great old Hollywood story that’s perfectly modernized with Cooper playing rock star Jackson Mane who sees Gaga’s Ally performing at a cabaret club and falls for her just as he tries to help her career. It’s a story that’s been told a number of times before, and sure, I can understand why some women might not like the implications that a man might help the woman have success in the movie industry, but Gaga killed it playing a character possibly not too removed from herself. I’ll be thrilled with any and all Oscars this movie earns, especially for Bradley Cooper, making a stunning directorial debut. (And I always love Sam Elliot in anything he does. He’s so deserving of an Oscar here, too.)

1A. Won’t You be My Neighbor (Focus Features) – As always, I separate the docs from my overall year’s best list just because I tend to like the genre so much that my entire top 10 would be docs if I didn’t separate them into their own category. But yeah, Morgan Neville has done it again with another 10/10 doc following his Oscar-winning 20 Feet to Stardom. Barring some major push by one of the other docs that made the shortlist (and my top 12 below), there’s a very good chance that Neville’s doc about beloved PBS host Fred (Mister) Rogers will win him a second Oscar. Rogers is beloved by adults who grew up watching his show and getting a chance to look behind the scenes made many adults cry, mainly for joy but also for sadness that these trying times doesn’t have a Mister Rogers to help us through it.

1. Green Book (Universal) – Yes, I’m well aware of the controversy and backlash from many black film critics (most of them who write for ShadowAndAct.com, oddly enough) who hate this movie for one reason or another. By the time all that controversy had reared its ugly head, I had already seen the Peter Farrelly historic buddy comedy twice, and I loved it both times I saw it. If you’re unaware, it stars Viggo Mortensen as Italian stereotype club bouncer Tony Lip, who is hired to drive and safeguard Mahershala Ali’s jazz pianist Dr. Don Shirley on a tour of the Deep South during the early ‘60s when racism still was running rampant. The growing chemistry built by these two actors through the situations they find themselves in made me far more interested in Shirley and the Green Book of the title, so anyone complaining about the movie should realize that through entertaining humor, Farrelly has opened a conversation that I hope will continue through next year.

Honorable Mentions:

There were so many good movies this year that all of these fine films ended up just outside my top 25…

A Private War (Aviron) Operation Finale (MGM) First Reformed (A24) Lean on Pete (A24) The Rider (Sony Pictures Classics) Collette (Bleecker Street) Cold War (Amazon Studios) The Miseducation of Cameron Post (FilmRise) Leave No Trace (Bleecker Street) Suspiria (Amazon)

TWELVE GREAT DOCS

This was most definitely the year of the theatrical doc, even though, yeah, there’s still a few Netflix docs on here… okay, one. Otherwise, it was important to see most of these movies in a theater, which culminated in Peter Jackson’s 3D WWI doc They Shall Not Grow Old, which just missed my top 12. Sorry, this feature has gotten a little too long or otherwise, I’d write more about each of these, but most of them I wrote about in the weekly column.

1. Won’t You be My Neighbor (Focus Features) 2. Free Solo (National Geographic) 3. Hal (Oscilloscope) 4. Three Identical Strangers (Neon) 5. Minding the Gap (Hulu) 6. RBG (Magnolia) 7. Rock Rubber 45s (Saboteur Media) 8. Crime + Punishment (Hulu/IFC Films) 9. Shirkers (Netflix) 10. Fahrenheit 11/9 11. Far from the Tree (IFC Films) 12. Whale of a Tale (Giant Pictures)

STUDIO OF THE YEAR:

Every year I like rewarding a studio that goes above and beyond both in terms of releasing great, entertaining movies and also being generally decent to deal with. While Universal has the top movie and Warner Bros. is #2 and Fox has a lot of movies on the above list, I think I’ll have to give this year’s award to Paramount Pictures, not only for making the best Mission: Impossible yet, but also with two wonderful surprises in Instant Family and Overlord, which both were far better than their trailers. (They also released A Quiet Place, which didn’t make my list but was still a solid thriller.) But most importantly, they’re the most improved in terms of press/critical outreach, and I greatly appreciate that, especially in the tough year I had.

ALBUMS OF THE YEAR

I always like sharing some of the music I’m listening to each year and though my music budget has been cut rather drastically this year, my favorite album of the year was Metric’s “Art of Doubt,”followed by Buffalo Tom’s “Quiet and Peace”and The Fratellis’ “In Your Own Sweet Time.” I also dug Monster Magnet’s “Mindf*cker,” Ash’s “Islands” and James’ “Living in Extraordinary Times,” but none of this gets me more excited as the prospect for a new Cure album in 2019!

Oh, fine.. I’ll tack on my Terrible 10 for the year, but I don’t feel like revisiting any of these: 10. Kin 9. Puppet Master: The Littlest Reich 8. The Spy Who Dumped Me 7. Before I Wake 6. Truth or Dare? 5. London Fields 4. Head Full of Honey 3. Mandy 2. Aardvark 1. Assassination Nation

That’s it for this year. Hopefully, I’ll have more to come soon.

#WeekendWarrior Top252018 Movies Reviews GreenBook MissionImpossible AStarIsBorn WontYouBeMyNeighbor

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