#he had gay swagger we forget about

[ellies-rambles]

The biggest sin The Its (1990 & 2010s) committed is not realizing Eddie's batshit fashion sense. NO ONE THAT MAN DROVE AROUND THOUGHT HE WAS STRAIGHT HE WORE A GAUDY RUBY RING AND A LOUD CHECKERED SPORTCOAT

[wen-kexing-apologist]

10 Characters and 10 Fandoms

I was hoping this day would not come. I had hoped I would fly free and clear from having to choose between all the people trapped in my television. But alas...I can avoid it no longer...thanks @lurkingshan

Cause here is the thing, when I think of what drives me batshit, crawling up the wall, tearing at the curtains it is not the characters but the dynamics that I love and cherish.

Rules: name 10 of your favourite characters from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people to do the same.

So I guess, without further ado, and in no particular order, here are 10 of my faves and why

Wen Kexing - Word of Honor

I mean...this one seems pretty obvious (coughs in username) but this is my dumb slut, okay? He's beauty, he's grace, he's got Zhou Zishu Derangement Syndrome harder than anyone.

Wen Kexing, how do I love you? Let me count the ways:

Unhinged

Fashion Icon

Crazy Bastard Man

Yi Baiyi's Number One Nuisance

Gay As Hell

And most importantly HE HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG IN HIS LIFE.

Not Once. Not Ever.

Akk - The Eclipse

Oh Akk, my favorite little war criminal. If I had to pick one single favorite character, it's my boy.

Can't put my finger on why but for some reason I am obsessed with this emotionally repressed gay boy who has difficulty accepting himself and feels pressured to perform actions far outside what a teenager should be allowed to do because adults put pressure on him and because he doesn't want people to be disappointed in him...

Unlike Wen Kexing, Akk has done many things wrong, but he's my sweet cheese, good time boy, and he deserves to be harassed by his rat bastard boyfriend at all times. He's learned, he's grown, he's free of Suppalo and I want nothing but the best for him forever and alwas.

Jim Jimenez - Our Flag Means Death

Ohhhhh Jim. The Swagger, The Sex Appeal, The Being The Only Competent Member of Stede's Crew. I mean, what is not to love about The Orphan Raised By Nun Grandmother To Be a Killer?

As a fellow Studier Of The Blade, I would welcome the chance to let Jim kill me. Besides the fact they would lay waste to many, as an enby, they automatically earn a spot in my favs list.

Guillermo de la Cruz - What We Do In The Shadows

Tumblr Users, name a sexier character that Guillermo de la Cruz. That's right! YOU CAN'T!

Gay, serial killer...mmm you know what I'm beginning to sense a trend in my favs list...

eh, we can unpack that later!

My lovely, bumbling, dumbass with posession of the only brain cell in the household. So bright and smiley in the beginning you almost forget that he is 10 years in to literally hunting people to feed to his best friends/mortal enemies/family/tormenters/employers/bumbling idiots that stole him away from Panera Bread. There is no greater personification of the Duality of Man than the man who can lay waste to an entire theatre full of vampires and also spending literal hours closing every possible loophole in Nandor's Dick Length Wish. No greater personification of the Duality of Man than the man who can best Nandor in a gay little fight, and then immediately get pushed into a coffin and shipped to England.

Keyleth - Critical Role

My beloved, all powerful awkward disaster of a Druid. Keyleth helped me through some difficult fucking parts of my life, and I really appreciate how heavily Marisha allowed Keyleth to embrace and exert her anger where it needed to be released. I love how Keyleth can both bring a building down with her bare hands (literally) and turn into a goldfish and splatter along the rocks (also literally)

I love when character who are hurt or in pain or grieving continue to be kind, and I love when that composure starts to slip.

Ellie Williams - The Last of Us

I love my baby dyke with all my heart. She's a killer, she's a track star, she makes grown men weep and young kids laugh. She's immune from being mushroomified, and she horrifies Joel's Southern Table Manner Sensibilities. What more can you ask for out of a character?

Tankhun Theerapanyakul- KinnPorsche

Serves cunt.

Kaz Brekkar - Six of Crows

Kaz Brekkar is the walking contradiction, and that is why I love him.

Kaz, External Monologue: murder. murder. crime. crime. heist. heist. fuck pekka.

Kaz, Internal Monologue: Inej. Inej. Inej. Inej. Inej. Inej. Inej.

There is just something so juicy about a character who yearns desperately to touch, to hold, to love and is physically incapable of doing so. Also like, shout out to having disabled characters in media of all forms

Raine Whispers - Owl House

Again, enby, therefore automatically on the fucking list. But also like. COME ON. Look at them. They are so precious, they are so awkward, and they are so badass. This motherfucker can't talk on a stage to save their life, but can lead a goddamn rebel organization?

ALSO LIKE, LET'S DISCUSS THE FUCKING WHISTLE AND THE MONTHS OF FAKING MIND CONTROL?!?!?!??!?! Y'all seriously want to sit here and not claim them as a fav? Okay, but couldn't be me :)

Zuko - Avatar: The Last Airbender

It's Zuko. Need I say more? I will never not love Zuko because I lived through his redemption arc live on my TV. I went from hating this motherfucker's guts to truly deeply loving him in real time and that's all I have to say on that. He's a runner, he's a track star, he's a war criminal, and a baby girl, and truly is the king of kings for doing one nice thing and nearly dying from fever about it.

Well, this has made me realize that most of my favs are gay murderers. Teehee. Please never make me choose my favorite characters again.

If someone tags me in one of these, ask me to do my Top 10 Character Dynamics, please I beg you!!!!1

Tagging:

@bengiyo , @shortpplfedup , @kyr-kun-chan , @moonspiritmars

[storiesforallfandoms]

when they wrongfully accuse you of cheating ~ misfits

request?: yes!

“Hello, can you do please do post about Misfits when they wrongly accuses reader of cheating? Have a nice day❤”

warnings: swearing, mentions of cheating, angst

masterlist (one, two)

FITZ:

After his not so great run in with She Who Shall Not be Names (Katerino), Cameron’s trust levels were not very high. When he started dating you, he tried to push those concerns to the back of his mind. You had a similar experience with an ex as he had with Kate, so he felt the likeliness of you cheating on him was very slim. But then he met a friend of yours, a friend that happened to be a guy, a guy friend that Cameron felt was getting a little too close to you. This, unfortunately, resulted in a fight that lasted nearly an entire hour. “(Y/F/N) is just a friend, Cam! There’s nothing between us!” “You spend so much more time with him than you do with me, though. You’re always out together, you always want to hang out with him, you were even out with him the other night when you told me you were going out for a girl’s night!” You scoffed and handed the final blow of the argument, “If you fucking listened to me for one second you’d let me explain that (Y/F/N) is fucking gay!” You slammed the door behind you as you left Cameron’s apartment, leaving him speechless, heartbroken, and feeling like a complete fucking idiot.

~~~~~~

INOTORIOUS:

While Matt often did join in on the jokes at his expense with his friends, he couldn’t help but take them to heart too. He knew none of his friends meant anything by what they were saying, but he often found himself believing the playful insults they threw his way. This led to him believing he wasn’t good enough to be with you and worrying about the day when you’d realize you could do better and break up with him. All his fears and insecurities came to a head when he noticed how close of friends you and Cam were becoming. “I don’t like that you hang out with Cam so much.” You looked up at him over your laptop, raising an eyebrow. “Why not?” “I just...I don’t like it. I don’t mind that you’re friends with the guys, but you and Cam are...you’re different. I don’t like it.” You placed your laptop aside and sat up so you could directly walk to him. “What exactly is different about me and Cam?” “You just...you’re all touchy feely and you have inside jokes and you hang out alone together a lot...like...like a lot a lot.” “I don’t hang out with Cam alone at all. Usually one of the guys is there with us.” “You go out smoking weed with him.” “Yeah, and you can see us through the glass windows that lead out into the backyard, that’s hardly alone. What’s this really about, Matt?” He shuffled in his seat, not wanting to voice the concerns that he had. He was looking down at his hands, avoiding eye contact at all costs. This was enough of an answer for you. “You think I’m gonna fool around with Cam behind your back?” Matt started to shake his head, but then stopped. “Matt, you know I’d never do that to you. Cam is just my friend, I think of him as the big brother I never had.” “But he’s...he’s like...so much better than I am...” You stood up to hug Matt, bringing his head to your chest and cradling him as you ran your fingers through your hair. “Cam is far from better than you, Matt. You are the most amazing person I have ever met. I’d be crazy to let you go for anyone else, let alone Cam. You’re my one and only, okay? I love you.”

~~~~~~

MCCREAMY:

Long distance relationships sucked ass. Especially when the person you were dating was in a whole other country with a totally conflicting time zone. Having the times line up where you and Jay could call one another and talk for long periods of time very rarely ever lined up. It was hard, but the two of you tried your best. You texted each other at least once every day and tried to call when possible, and even posted cute little Instagram things just so you could tag one another in them. Jay saw one of these posts one day and his heart felt light with happiness. He wished he could just see you in person and finally be able to hold you and kiss you. He was about to continue scrolling when another post by you popped up, this time with another guy. It was a mirror selfie from a club of some kind. You were dressed in short shorts and a crop top and you were basically sitting in the guy’s lap. Jay felt himself becoming slightly angry at the post. Obviously you had meant to post it, there was a caption and the person was tagged, but had you meant for him to see it? He called you almost immediately, not caring if he was waking you or interrupting something. You answered on the second ring, sounding like you had been drifting off to sleep. “Jay? What’s up?” “Who is that in your latest Instagram picture?” You hummed in response, still out of it. “Didn’t I post one of the two of us?” “I meant before that.” You made another noise like you were thinking, before saying, “Oh, that’s (Y/F/N).” “Why were you sat on his lap in the picture?” “Jay, can we talk about this later? I can barley form a coherent thought right now so it feels like everything you’re saying it going over my head.” “No, I want you to tell me right now why you posted that picture with another guy.” There was some shuffling, then the sound of a light turning on. He could hear you yawn on the other end before you said, “Did you read the caption at all?” “A little.” He hadn’t. “Then you know that the picture is from years ago, before you and I even met. And that I was posting it to remember when (Y/F/N) and I met years ago in a bar when he photobombed a picture I was taking.” Jay was silent. He didn’t really know how to respond to that at all. He was starting to feel like an idiot, why didn’t he just read the caption? “I’m gonna go back to sleep,” you said, breaking the silence. “Call me at a reasonable time when you’re ready to apologize for whatever this was about.” Jay listened as you hung up, leaving him in shocked silence, feeling like a complete idiot.

~~~~~~

SWAGGERSOULS:

Despite his jokes online about his appearance, Swagger was actually pretty insecure about the way he looked. When the two of you had first started talking online, he refused to do video calls or to send you pictures for the first while because he was afraid you wouldn’t find him attractive. He build a small bit of confidence to finally start talking to you face to face and to actually meet you in person. But the insecurities regarding his looks were always there, and they led to your first fight as a couple when Swagger saw you dancing with a guy while you, the Misfits, and some of your girl friends were out together. “Why the fuck were you dancing with him?!” he called over the thumping club music. “I didn’t know I was dancing with him! I thought it was (Y/F/N)! We went out onto the dancefloor together and I thought she was still behind me. I didn’t know it was another guy until you came over.” Swagger scoffed and rolled his eyes. You raised an eyebrow at him. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” “Nothing.” “No, tell me Swagger.” “I just have a hard time believing you didn’t know some guy was grinding up behind you and you really just thought it was your friend. Did you really think I wouldn’t see? That I wouldn’t do anything about it?” “I didn’t fucking know!” “Whatever, (Y/N). Enjoy your dancing!” He left you shocked as you watched him walk away. Your face was on fire from anger and confusion, meanwhile Swagger was downing the beer he had in his hand, hoping to forget the night entirely when he woke up the next morning.

~~~~~~

TOBYONTHETELE:

Toby prided herself on not being jealous or jumping to conclusions. She had a massive amount of trust in you, she always had. You had never given her a reason to believe otherwise. But when you started hiding your text messages from her, taking your phone with you every time you left the room instead of just leaving it there like you usually did, being vague about where you were and what you were doing, Toby couldn’t help but feel suspicious. You had never acted this way before, and she knew she shouldn’t jump to conclusions but she just couldn’t help it. All the signs pointed to one thing: you were seeing someone else. Toby worried over it for so long that she nearly made herself sick, and that’s when she finally snapped. She confronted you when you came home from one of your secret “errands” you went on. “If you’re cheating on me, just fucking break up with me and get it over with.” You were shocked. “What? Babe, I’m not cheating on you. Why would you think that?” “You’re so secretive and you hide your texts from me and your phone. You’re always so open with me, but lately you’ve been hiding something. The only logical thing is you’re seeing someone else.” You tried to hold back your laugh but it was nearly impossible. You started to giggle, which frustrated Toby even more. “Toby, I’m not seeing someone else. It’s going to ruin everything, but I was being secretive cause I was trying to plan this big surprise birthday party for you.” You laughed harder at her dumbfounded face as you hugged her and kissed her cheek. “You know I’d never cheat on you, babe. I love you too much.”

~~~~~~

ZUCKLES:

Mason loved to party. Literally everyone knew that, you included. You were more than fine with that, but what you weren’t fine with was him always leaving you alone when he went to parties. At first it was just nerve wracking considering the fact that you didn’t know anyone, but then it became downright frustrating for your boyfriend to leave your side the minute you walked through the doors of a house party or a club. It was even worst because it gave creepy drunk guys the opportunity to try and flirt with you because you were there all alone. The night that Mason finally caught some guy getting a little too close to you, you felt relief when he saved you. The relief quickly went away when Mason’s angry face turned to face you. “Who the fuck was that?” You scrunched up your nose at the stench of alcohol coming from him. “Some creep. Can we go home?” “Why was he getting close to you like that?” You scoffed. “Why are you getting so angry? He was flirting with me, not the other way around Mason.” “I don’t like finding my girlfriend getting close with some other dude when I’m not around. How many times has this happened?” You felt anger rising within you. How the fuck was he here getting angry with you when you were the one being hit on by some creep? “It’s happened nearly every time that you have left me alone when we go out, Mason. Which, newsflash, has been every time we go out! Don’t fucking stand here and get angry with me when you leave me alone for creepy drunk guys to try and hit on every time we go out! Also, the fact that you’d even think that I would hit on a guy when you’re not around is an extremely low fucking blow, Mason. I love you more than anything, I would never even think about flirting with someone else. The fact that you’re accusing me of anything right now and not listening to me is so fucking disgusting. I thought we had trust Mason!” When you started to walk away, Mason grabbed your arm. “Where are you going?” You yanked your arm free and responded, “Home! You make the decision if you trust me enough to believe me!”

[spiltscribbles]

57. “Wait a second.. are you jealous?” + Poorly Timed Confession + modern au 😍 pretty please!!!

~Notes: OMFG angel!!! Thank you SO SO much for the prompt<3 You are a complete babe! I hope you like :S It’s cheese, but like also what else would I do? LMFAO XD

.-

Smash Prompt Game  |  Send Me A Prompt💜 |  A Reblog Is Like An I Love You!!

.-

“Hmmm… All right, would you rather, mmm… Smell Borris Johnson’s sweaty gym socks, or snog Professor Slughorn full on the mouth for a straight minute— oh erm, not so straight I reckon on second thought.”

Remus wrinkles his nose at him from across the bed, and clucks his tongue at the awful pun. “You’re unruly.”

“And you’re dodging,”

“Am not arse, I’m just recovering from that very terrifying scenario you’ve spewed out like the sadistic satanist you are.”

“Which scenario are you recovering from though?” Sirius leers, wiggling his eyebrows and jostling Remus’s textbook with his foot.

“I hate that you’re enjoying this so much,” Remus intones in a deadpan.

“Mary John, I’m waiting,” Sirius says with far too much glee.

Sometimes Remus is sure that he hates him. “Fine, the answer is I hate you.”

“Filthy and slanderous lies, Lupin.”

“You’re demented.”

“Five. Four. Three—“

“I won’t choose.”

“See,  all I hear is that you wanna get it on with our chemistry professor, you saucy minx, you.”

Remus sniffs. “Better than touching that prick with even a ten foot pole.”

“Mmmm, have I ever told you how hot and heavy I get hearing you talk politics at me?”

Remus throws him the bird, which makes Sirius laugh. Remus can objectively say that Sirius has the most beautiful variations of laughter in the world, and he’d know considering he’s catalogued each one. This version is definitely top three. His care free, effortless laugh when Remus takes him off guard with a snide remark or lowly muttered retort that’s not appropriate for most company— It’s really more of a experience, truly. His breaths stutter out in a lovely staccato, and his eyes glimmer like the sea, and sometimes it feels like the world’s been suspended and it’s only the two of them in that slice of eternity.

Erm, Ah, but yeah…. That only happens occasionally, and it’s only because Sirius is Remus’s greatest friend— has been since the final year of primary school after Remus had moved to the London outskirts from his small, coastal town in Wales, and on first sight, Sirius swung a snowball straight to Remus’s face, which he of course responded to by throwing two more his way, and well… The pair of them were soaking and breathless by the end of it, but their fate was sealed, they were the greatest of friends, and nothing would ever alter that unquestionable staple.

So what if sometimes Remus’s chest thuds painfully when Sirius dimples his way, or Remus only ever wants to talk to him over anyone else— even Lily or his Mam— if he’s had a bad day, or good one, or if something remarkable had happened, or , or… Or whenever really. And there’s absolutely no significance that Remus can’t help the totally delighted grin that splits his face in half whenever he gets a text or snap from Sirius.

None of that is at all relevant.

Sirius is Remus’s greatest friend, and he’d never risk ruining that by allowing some pesky little crush swallow him whole and clammer out his mouth— vulnerable and throbbing in the open space between them. It doesn’t matter if Marlene always makes kissy faces their way, or how James only ever refers to them as a couple, and so what if Peter’s got a pole running that Remus knows basically the whole school is betting on. 

They’re all wrong, Sirius would never, ever feel the same sort of way that Remus does him, that’s downright preposterous and ridiculous and just simply impossible. And Remus’s perfectly content with that very real truth… He is.

Remus is fine with it God help him. So everyone else just needs to but the fuck out of their business.

Besides, this, this right now— Him and Sirius splayed out on opposite ends of Remus’s bed, with Sirius’s feet nudging at Remus’s elbow whenever he’s got a question about there homework, with the window cracked open just so, letting in some of the chilly winter air because Sirius absolutely can not focus if he’s not cold— the fucking furnace— Where Remus can still hear the going ons of his family playing out on the floor below them… This is the most perfect place in Remus’s eyes, and he won’t ever change that, especially not to live out some boyhood fantasy that would never come into fruition in his wildest of dreams.

Remus’s content… He is… He has to be or else he’d lose one of the most vital people in his world.

.-

“You’ve got footie practice after school, right?”

“Mmhmm, you coming to watch?”

“Only if you admit i’m your good luck charm,” Remus sardonically bats his lashes at Sirius as if he was in a mascara advert, and the taller boy  blows a raspberry right back at him.

“Nice, real nice. You’re extraordinarily mature, you know that, Black?”

“And sexy, don’t forget that, oh so important descriptor Lupin.”

Remus leans against the locker besides Sirius’s, watches as he trades his current binders for the lot he’ll need for the afternoon, and tries really hard not to stare too longingly at how Sirius’s arm muscles ripple beneath their school’s  maroon, uniform jackets  in the most delicious of ways. (He hates the fact he’s been dissolved into a starry eyed mess lusting over the star striker, but thus is his fate.)

“I’d never commit such a faux pas, and I’m insulted that you’d ever think as much.”

Sirius sneers at him with a slight shake to his head. “So you coming or not?”

“I’m still contemplating my options,” he preens, but before Sirius could retort, Marlene, megawatt smile and dangerously sharp  smirk— swaggers over towards them.

“Good morning my two beautiful chums!”

“What do you want?” Sirius asks before even glancing her way, to which Marlene blinks up at him, faux owlish. “S, I just wanted to greet a couple of my closest companions this lovely December morning,” she defends herself.

“Marls, you’re never this agreeable before noon,” Remus points out hesitantly.

“ And you rarely are even afterwards,” Sirius tacks on.

“Rude,” she pouts.

“Accurate,” Remus pipes in with an apologetic grimace.

Marlene stares them both down for a solid minute before finally relaxing her shoulders, and thrusting out the legal pad in her grasp. “The student council and spirit society are selling corsages for the snowflake formal, and Dorcas has deployed me to get some orders.”

“Whipped,” Sirius teases through a counter-fit cough.

Marlene doesn’t hesitate before smashing the legal pad on his head. “And you traipsing around getting people to buy the tickets for the theatre department last semester even though Re was only playing Mercutio wasn’t you being wrapped around his littlest finger?”

Remus flushes, feeling an unnerving amount of bees stinging around his stomach, and is thankful when the conversation pauses after Sirius casts her a very heated V.  “Sod off.”

“So are you guys gonna buy or not?” Marlene huffs, weight slung to her left hip, and arms crossed against her chest.

“I’m a gay bloke, Marls, did you forget that?” Remus pins her with a one eyed squint, and she just scrunches her face up at him, exasperated.

“I’m sure there’s matching boutonnieres.”

“Fine, I just don’t have any school spirit  then.”

This time she glares. “Lily and James are Head Boy and Head Girl, isn’t there like an oath between you lot,  one for all and all for one, or some rot?”

“That’s the three musketeers,” he says.

“isn’t that basically who you guys are?” She reasons.

Before their wage of words could continue, Sirius just grabs the order form out of Marlene’s hands and fills out a sheet with the flurry of his pen. “Happy?”

“Positively delighted,” she leers, pecking them both on the cheek before strutting off, reminding them of their group study session at Alice’s tonight in her wake.

Sirius shakes his head, reluctantly amused with a grin gathering on the corners of his mouth, but for Remus everything feels like it’s frozen. “You didn’t have to do that you know? ’S not like James is much of a Head Boy anyhow, and Lily wouldn’t have really cared.”

Sirius shrugs, commences their walk to the opposite wing of the school for their shared history class. “Emmy likes that sort of romantical shite.”

Remus sees red, feels his heart lodging in his damn esophagus. “Oh, so— Erm,  you’re taking her then,” Remus wonders if his tone sounds as detached as he feels.

“Yeah,” Sirius eyes him, questioning. “She wants that title of snow queen real bad, made me promise I’d campaign with her and the whole shtick.”

“Oh,” it’s like Remus could feel it when he closes off completely, can feel his hopes squashed down and his heart contract and his every organ collapsing in on themselves, leaving him feeling hollowed out completely.

Sirius slows down marginally, eyeing him with a slight frown. “Is that all right? I know you two don’t exactly get along and we were planning to go as a group, bu—“

“It’s fine,” Remus hates how screechy his voice gets, how he feels like he’s about to scream. “You two are a shoe in, no doubt.”

Sirius tries to mirror Remus’s faux excitement with a tepid grin of his own, but Remus doesn’t let him, instead commandeering their typical table on the back row and tries focussing on the thousandth war with France while his world tilts off kilter.

.-

Emmy is beautiful, and popular and her smile alone dazzles the whole room. She’s everything that Sirius should look for in a partner, someone to match his whip lash wit, and his taste for all things exuberant that skirt on flashy, and someone who’s got just as many friends and admirers as him.

They’re perfect and Remus should just get over his petty ass hatred of her, even if he still thinks she can be down right cruel and selective and selfish. Qualities Sirius surely isn’t… But maybe it’s all in his head how she sneers at people who she finds plane, or how she literally guffaws over the misfortune of others. Maybe his perception of how she wields people in like moths to a flame just to get what she wants is all a misunderstanding, or in his head or something.

Maybe all that’s possible, even if Remus seriously doubts it.

But at the end of the day, Sirius loves her— has been basically infatuated by Emmeline Vance since she first transferred at the start of their Freshman year. Sirius loves her, and who ever Sirius loves is merely an extension of him… Right?

Remus just needs to get over it and somehow rid himself of this crush he’s been fostering for so long it’s basically a part of him at this point. Though, he thinks it’d be a lot easier if he didn’t see their faces plastered on posters everywhere the week and a half leading up to the dance— looking like actual royals that would put Will and cate to shame.

.-

“Yo cheekbones!”

Remus starts, swivels around from where he was scratching his pen to paper, finding Sirius— as glimmering and beautiful as always— swaggering up to him, insanely electric smile painted over his face.

“Would you rather eat a jumbo jar of jalapeños without a break, or eat the toenails from someone with athlete’s foot next to your dinner every night of the rest of your life?”

“I thought you were having lunch with Emmy to keep up your royalty status before this weekend?” Remus asks, tacitly side stepping from the horrific images swimming to the forefront of his mind because of his cruel question.

“Now that doesn’t sound like an answer to my ultimatum,” Sirius says in a singsong sort of voice.

“You answer me first,” Remus says airily.

“But I asked first,” Sirius argues haughtily.

“Well both your options would kill me, so I wouldn’t do either,” Remus retorts.

“That’s not how the game works!”

“You’re the one who always says that rules were made to be broken,” Remus says, lofty as all get out,, and dissolves into laughter at the completely cross look Sirius’s giving him.

“You were born to be contrary, weren’t you?”

“So lunch?”

“Got bored,” he shrugs, hopping onto the corner of the desk Remus’s working on. “What you up to instead of eating?”

“My position paper for Model UN.” Sirius smiles down at him, and Remus can’t help the flush that spreads across his cheeks in return. “Not as glamorous as running as Snow King, I know.”

“It’s precious,” Sirius contends, his soft timbre sounding like syrup and his long fingers fluttering against Remus’s skin, pushing back a lock of his ever disheveled, tawny curls in a far to gentle way, and Remus gulps before averting his gaze to break the sudden tautness that’s built between them. 

They’ve had so many of these almost moments, ones that Remus’s always treasured but he knows doesn’t mean much of anything at all to Sirius— Sirius who is effortlessly hilarious, and brims with genius and  who is so beautiful that sometimes it hurts looking at him for too long. Sirius who has a new suitor at his beck and call on a near weekly basis. But whenever they transpire now, it just hurts all the more because Remus knows in his heart of hearts that they will never lead anywhere, and Sirius is in love with Emmy and Remus can’t let himself float around in this daydream for any longer.

“Ahem,” he clears his throat, shuffles in his seat only slightly. “I’m Algeria so my Mam’s pretty excited about it. She’s been telling me all the stuff Wikipedia’s got wrong and everything.”

Sirius laughs, but it doesn’t touch his eyes. “Your mother is kinda everything, you know that?”

Remus twists his mouth up, reluctant. “Don’t tell her as much, or else she’ll go on and on how she won Miss Teen Great Britain when she was only sixteen.”

“Hmm, I was wondering where you got that pretty face.”

“You, Sirius Black, can go lick an unwashed arse.”

“You’ll never catch a suitor with that cheek of yours though. I’d work on that, Lupin.”

“I don’t think I could ever win Miss Congeniality, alas.”  Remus doesn’t quite catch Sirius’s reply, to busy responding too the text his phone just chirped with instead.

“Mary John, are you listening?”

“Uh-huh.”

Sirius’s brows hike up, flabbergasted smile stretched across his face. “So totally rude! And I came all the way here— to the place where dreamers die— just to spend time with you.”

“Sorry,” Remus gives him an abashed little half grin before setting the phone back down. “’s just Fabian.”

Sirius’s expression drops, goes inquisitive instead of his typical ebullience. “Fabian? Why’s Fabian Prewett texting you, and why is he,” Sirius crooks his head so he’s able to read the new message that popped up on Remus’s phone’s screen. “Asking about color coordination?”

Remus blushes for an entirely new reason now, one he likes much less. “Ah, he’s the sort to like it when our suits like match, but not in an abrasive fashion, you know?”

Sirius’s face goes scarily blank.

“Your suits? Suits for what?”

“The dance…” Remus says slowly, he’s confused what Sirius’s confused about.

“The dance… Right… I thought you were still going with everyone else?”

“Pff, no way,” Remus scoffs. “Lily’s  only pretending to be single, you know how red in the face she gets whenever around James. They’ll end up dancing the whole night away. And with Dorcas running the whole event and Benjy thinking any social function is a plague on society, that’d leave me stuck with Peter and Mary, . And honestly I’ve seen enough of her tongue shoved down his throat for a lifetime.” Remus is only slightly  surprised that doesn’t even elicit a chuckle from Sirius, who’s now looking a bit stormy— and he thinks he’ll never be accustomed to his mercurial moods that can change as quickly as the snap of the finger.

“Right… So you’re going with Fabian Prewett… as your date?”

“Yes… Why is that so hard to believe?”

“it’s, it’s not,” Sirius scrambles, suddenly standing up.

“Then why are you being so weird about this,” Remus argues, getting up to meet him at his level.

“Am not!”

“You’re going with Emmy,” Remus reminds him, this edge of desperate.

“I know I am, okay. But you— you—“ Sirius tappers off, eyes glassy and lips parted with words he can’t get out, and Jesus fucking Christ is it weird how for the first time ever their roles have reversed. Sirius can’t put any sentences together, and everything Remus’s been beating down—  everything thrashing inside of him— are now burning his throat and warring over who can spill out first.

“What? I’m suppose to stay behind like the pathetic, nobody friend. The guy who’s just there to moon after you while you have an actual life. The Judie garland to your Mickie Roomie!”

“What are you even talking about right now!” Sirius shouts, sounding as torn apart as Remus feels.

“As if you don’t know!” He snarls, collecting his books into his backpack— Suddenly this room feels to stifling. He can’t breathe and it’s too hot and his chest is pounding.

He’s imploding and Remus has no idea how to rectify it.

“Just stop! Remus Stop!”

“leave me the fuck alone Sirius!”

“Why are you being such a prick about this!”

And that, that makes Remus angry, angrier than he’s ever been.

Before he could even think about it for a moment longer, Remus is rounding on him, dashing so close to Sirius that he can taste his breath with how close their faces are skirting against each other.

“I’m in love with you! I’ve been in love with you for forever, and I know that you don’t feel the same way, and I know that you’re in love with Emmy and, and I just know okay.”

“Wha—“ Sirius sputters, looking like a gaping fish. “Wait a second, are you jealous? Of sodding Emmy Vance?”

“Don’t!” Remus practically growls out. "Don’t disrespect me, okay? Don’t pretend that you never knew, or that I was such a good actor. I’ve been in love with you for years and you always knew and Fine, I get it. You never felt the same way, that’s fine. But just don’t pretend as if you never had the choice, don’t make me out as the bad guy for actually, finally saying yes to a bloke who’s actually into me. I need to fucking give up on the premise of us, I need to get over you. So I’m going out with fucking Fabian Prewett and you’re going out with Emmy Vance and that’s that!”

His breaths are labored, jagged and painful, as they race out of him, but Remus can’t move. He’s staring straight into Sirius’s beautiful, gray eyes, and he sees everything he’s always seen there, and hates that this is probably the last time he’ll get to be this close to him.

Not after this.

“I didn’t,” is the first thing Sirius croaks out, broken and helpless. “i didn’t know, Remus you have to believe me— I didn’t—”

“How! How could you not know!” He shouts back, but Remus doesn’t get his answer in so many words, instead he feels it.

He feels it when Sirius clamps his hands on either end of his waste-line, feels it when Sirius smashes their lips together in a cacophony of lips, and teeth and spit. He feels it when Sirius moans in side of him, when his hand moves down, spreads across the width of the small of his back, pushing their torsos even closer. Remus feels it when everything goes into focus, when he takes Sirius into his arms, greedy and excited and disbelieving.

And Remus thinks to all the other times he’s kissed another boy— To this prior weekend swapping snogs with a beaming Fabian in the back of a theatre. He thinks of how there was never anything worth anything when he kissed any of them Because it was all Sirius, always Sirius. And he could try to love Fabian, or some other cute boy, and he tried, and he tried, and he tried, and he gave all he had…but it was never enough, could it ever be enough?

Remus knows it in his bones that it’s enough when it’s with Sirius.

When they finally pull apart it’s difficult to breathe and Remus feels lightheaded and it’s wonderful in the most marvelous of ways.

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Sirius says in a whisper. 

“Maybe next time give a guy some warning?” Remus can’t help the shit eating smirk that swipes across his mouth and is elated at the adorably cross scowl Sirius answers him with.

“Fine jackass, how’s this for a warning, I’m gonna kiss you now.”

“That’ll be sufficient, I suppose,” Remus goads, laughing against Sirius’s lips when he does just that.

~*~

Sirius ends up winning snow king, but rejects the dance with Emmy, opts to ask Remus to join him instead, as if they were in the middle of some John Hughes movie from the fucking 80s.

It’s utterly ridiculous and overdone and simply way too much— but everyone applauded and cheered and when Sirius kissed him in the middle of it, Remus felt as if his whole body sung with joy.

.-

~My Wolfstar FIC Masterlist

[gallavictorious]

what about like mickey and geneva crossing paths somehow but don't know each other (i guess before the wedding bc i would guess they would have met at that point) and idk maybe she overhears him say something homophobic and she confronts him and somehow mentions gay jesus and idk. this is 100% inspired by my desire for someone to ask mickey if he knows gay jesus just for him to respond that he knows him biblically lol

Ah, this might just be the most justified desire in the world, nonnie; I salute you! Okay, let's see –

I'm thinking Geneva and a bunch of her friends decide to stage a protest of some kind. Maybe just to raise awareness of the plight of the LGTB+ community in general, or maybe in direct reaction to a store treating gay people less than right... let's be honest, there's a lot of shit happening, so it's not like it'd be hard for them to find a just cause. Brave and resolute they arm themselves with righteousness and march out in the name of their lord and savior, Gay Jesus!

March, as it happens, straight to A Certain Mall – CAN YOU GUESS WHICH? – where A Certain Disgruntled Darling – CAN YOU GUESS WHO? – works. Now, I don't think their protest is aimed at Old Army per se but maybe it happens right outside the store just next to it, and so the Gay Jesus Group and all of their signs and whatever other props they bring kind of spill over to halfway block the entrance to Mickey's workplace?

By rights this should be a case for mall main security, which I assume exists even if I have no idea what the right word for it would be, but let's pretend that they're unsure about how to intervene in a way that doesn't get them into trouble for being homophobic. Maybe their boss is a very anxious and pollitically minded person, highly unsuited for their job? Or just secretly supports what's happening? Either way, mall security does nothing. The protest continues. There's a crowd gathering, some jeering, some curious, and some in silent support. Between that and the protest itself there's not a whole lot of people making their way into Old Army which Concerns the staff working the floor there, and so they send Mickey out to deal with it.

“What's in it for me?” Mickey probably demands, savvy to the fact that this strictly speaking isn't his job, and the fuck does he care if a few hippies stand around chanting whatever so that no one can get in to the store to bother him while he dreams of all the stuff Ian and he can do to and with one another once he gets off work?

I'm not sure what the rest of the staff promise him, but it's good enough that fine, he'll go scare these rainbow kids away. So out he stomps and he immediately identifies Geneva as the ring leader, mostly because it's her holding the megaphon and leading the chants. Our highly questionable hero walks up to her, calling: “Yo! Gonna need you to pack this shit up and get the hell out of here. You're bothering the customers.”

Mickey's scary when he wants to be, that's true, but Geneva ain't no pushoever and she's used to standing up to all sorts of bullies – plus she has the unshakeable zeal of a true believer. She's not backing down, and maybe there's a small part of Mickey that can admire her courage, but a larger part is just really fucking annoyed at these people complicating his workday with this stupid crap.

Sadly (for Mickey) Geneva doesn't give a fig for his annoyance. She stares him right in the eye and launches into a spiel about how the store they're protesting has treated the LGTB+ community in a horrible, horrible way and people need to be made aware of the fact.

Mickey's face wrinkles in disgust. “And what the fuck's whining about it gonna do, huh? Someone insult you 'cause you're gay you beat the shit outta them, or you trash their fucking store to teach them a lesson, but nobody's gonna give a damn about a few signs. Besides, those ugly things” – he indicates the signs – “are boring as hell, you ain't gonna convince people of shit with those.”

(There's an alternative version of this story, I think, wherein Mickey now leaps into a lecture of how to make proper, eye-catching signs, and maybe even leads a little practical workshop in the art of it, because we know he's got an artistic streak. But as amusing as that image is, Mickey ultimately just doesn't care enough about whatever these people are doing to bother, so in this version of the story, that just doesn't happen. Sorry, guys. I cannot be blamed for Mickey not having a whole lot of communal gay spirit.)

Geneva is maybe a little surprised by Mickey's take on the whole thing, but not impressed: “Demanding that we should be interesting to be heard is putting unjust pressure on the victim of systematic oppression and – “

The crowd has followed this entire exchange with varying degrees of cautious interest and now someone – a big, beared man, probably, and likely sporting a MAGA hat too – calls out: “Nobody cares, you fucking dyke! Go suck a dick and maybe you won't be such a bitch.”

Geneva is sadly used to these sort of slurs, and she and her group are more than prepared to defend themselves, but before anyone has a chance to do or say anything, Mickey – whose face has collapsed into irritated disgust – turns around and walks straight up to the shouty bastard and gets right in his stupid face: “Yo, maybe you wanna keep your fat mouth shut, Cheeto-packer, or I'll give you a dick to suck on and I promise you, you gonna fucking choke on it.”

The man stares. The crowd stares. Geneva and the Gay Jesus Group stares too. Mickey, he just stands right there, smiling up at the far taller man; it's that dangerous smile of his, and the beared dude suddenly shows far more sense than his hat would suggest him capable off and walks away without another word.

Unperpetubed, Mickey turns back to the protesters: “So you gonna get out of here or what?”

Geneva isn't quite sure how to respond. She doesn't know what to make of this security guard and his frankly odd and contradictory behavior. “Thank you for shutting him up,” she begins slowly and a little grudgingly. “But we can't just walk away. Gay Jesus taught us – “

“Gay Jesus?” Ah fuck, he should have fucking known, and if he finds out that Ian had anything to do with this, he's going to fucking kill him...

Geneva frowns at his tone. “You know about Gay Jesus?”

Mickey's lips twist into something that's not quite a smile. “Know him biblically,” he offers sardonically, and he takes no small amount of pleasure at the sight of Geneva at an actual loss for words. (Sure, he's only known her for two minutes, but he has this feeling that it's a very rare sight indeed.)

Then he sighs; this has gone on long enough. He picks up his phone and calls his boyfriend (who has the very good sense to pick up almost immediately): “Ay, asshole, can you tell your fucking groupies to go be pains in someone else's ass?”

“... what?”

And Mickey explains while Geneva and her squad yet again stares and then Ian talks to Geneva and of course he doesn't talk her out of protesting – because she is right to to do it, let's not forget – but in the end they reach some sort of compromise that leads to the Gay Jesus Group taking themselves and their signs elsewhere, and Mickey swaggers back into the store, equally pleased and disgruntled. The staff working the floor has followed the entire thing and now they have questions, but Mickey just gives them one forbidding glare and they very hastily return to folding clothes and whatever. The customers start walking in; peace has been restored; all is well.

(And when he comes home that night the whole incident develops into a complicated – but utterly playful, never fear – argument about who owes whom what; does Ian need to make things up to Mickey for starting the whole stupid cult in the first place, or is Mickey in Ian's debt for needing him to resolve the situation? They don't actually reach an agreement on the issue, but I think it's safe to say that both of them feel quite satisfied by the time they eventually fall asleep in each other's arms.)

[constellaj]

I won't say who for the sake of privacy, but recently I saw a user who had a post on how people that shipped Swagger Bishie (aka Dash/Danny) were "condoning abuse" and "severely downplaying the very real trauma that stems from being bullied as a adolescent for the sake of 'hawt yaoiz'". Any thoughts on the matter?

i mean sure thats a valid take and im not gonna like. say its wrong technically. like yeah alright

but also like..,,, theyre basically middle schoolers. kids are just assholes

IF YOU WANT MY LONG ESSAY: While shipping danny/dash purely in the context of what canon’s given is, no doubt, implying abuse- as their entire relationship hinges on the mutual bullying (dash bullying danny publicly, danny bullying dash as Phantom) of one another- fanon/headcanons way outweigh “canon” for a franchise as old and as interpreted as DP. Many people who ship danny/dash adhere to similar principles: 

-That Dash was going to be given (or at least deserved) a redemption arc, as hinted by various behaviors (danny’s reveal in Reality Trip, the back-to-back fight scene in Pirate Radio, just the entire premise of Micro Management)

-that Dash is in an abusive home situation and/or is covering for his homosexuality with toxic masculinity (we never see his parents, the only home life hint we get is that he can throw massive parties with no adult supervision (Attack of the Killer Garage Sale), and the “gay bully” is a stereotype fanon often clings to)

-That Dash only knows how to show affection via “bullying,” ie that he thinks aggression is the best way to show interest in someone (see the “he’s only doing that because he likes you” trope/stereotype)

Obviously these characteristics on their own don’t absolve Dash of any actual abusive behavior. But it’s also important to mention that the assumption of abuse is that players are on unequal footing, and while pre-canon it could be assumed that Danny was at a massive disadvantage, we see firsthand that Danny is just as capable of fighting back as Dash is. 

Splitting Images is an episode built around the concept that Danny bullies Dash right back, and while it was poorly written, the point it was making still stands. Danny “abuses” Dash in much more horrific ways than Dash could ever abuse Danny, frequently overshadowing him to undermine his body autonomy and embarrassing him publicly with no way to absolve the situation (I forget the episode title but like, the first time Danny possesses someone (Parental Bonding?) it’s Dash and he without missing a BEAT uses this opportunity to humiliate Dash by telling Paulina he keeps his mom’s toenail clippings or something).

So while yeah, you can say Dash abuses Danny, you can also say that Danny abuses Dash, and that’s just as fucked up. But it also means there’s not an inherently toxic power imbalance; real life abusive relationships are abusive because one party feels as though they can’t fight back, held back by physical power, social norms, empathy, or some combination of the three. Yeah it’s still fucked that they beat the shit out of each other, and they’ve both probably got trauma, but it’s not like Danny’s trauma specifically is being romanticized.

In fact most of the danny/dash shipping I’m aware of (or at least do) is centered around Danny being able *to* fight back, and Dash *earning* his redemption arc, taking these otherwise “incomplete” pieces of canon and fleshing them out. 

It’s also really important to note that Dash looks up to Phantom, even if he hates Danny- to the point where his respect for Phantom outweighs his hatred of Danny. Back to Reality Trip, when Danny gets revealed onstage, Dash’s immediate response is to round up the popular kids and come to his aid- he has no second thoughts about Phantom actually being Fenton. This, alongside fanon interpretations of Dash’s actions, suggests that Dash’s “hatred” of Fenton is based on some want to conform to the Alpha Male stereotype-- which, while bad, doesn’t mean he’s intentionally abusive. Fenton is weird, his family is weird, all the cool people hate them, so, to be cool, Dash *has* to hate Fenton. That’s science.

At the end of the day, it’s more than obvious Dash is a victim of toxic masculinity (he genuinely enjoys the romance channel and stuffed animals, for example, but these are played as “jokes” in universe; bitch fartman influence aside, it’s not a leap to conclude that he keeps his softer side “hidden” so he doesn’t come off as less of a man). His bullying of Danny isn’t specifically directed as a form of abuse, and outside of some specific school settings, he has no actual power over Danny. Danny also is more than wiling to fight back, using his own ghostly powers against Dash, putting them at a nemesis-level instead of an abuser-and-abused one. 

Listen, I’m gonna be real, almost all of us were “bullied as an adolescent.” Bullying fucken sucks, but like, Dash is clearly meant to be an over-the-top caricature of a bully; no real person acts the way he does, and the audience is meant to (and does!) interpret his actions as a *signifier* of his Bully status more than literal and exact depictions. After all, we don’t see Danny anything other than mad over these things, like they’re mild inconveniences; he’s not actively traumatized or overly introspective about this one asshole in high school.

Not to mention, Dash and Danny are like, fourteen years old. I don’t know about you, but I was like, the worst version of myself when I was fourteen; I was edgy and made awful jokes and made a big show of liking violence. Fourteen year olds just, inherently, suck (no offense to any 14 year olds reading this, I’m sure you’re fine). Dash has more than the opportunity to *grow out of it.* 

tl;dr: dash is just a fucking himbo let him live

[spaceskam]

freedom tastes of reality

for @isobelevansappreciation day 5: self-discovery

Summary: With the help of Michael and a handful of beautiful women, Isobel figures out apart of herself. OR Aromantic Pansexual Isobel like we deserve.

Warning: mentions of explosions/war, implied sexual content

ao3

.1.

She was the first thing Isobel saw that night.

She looked like a literal angel: dark hair, dark eyes, dark skin, white clothes. Her hair was big, a mass of perfect curls forming a halo around her head and resting against her shoulders that were covered in a long white cardigan. Beneath that was a white tube top, white hot pants, white pumps. She was heaven-sent. Isobel forgot how to breathe.

Her eyes followed her to the bar all the way until Michael snorted loud enough to break her trance. Isobel looked back at him to see him smiling smugly at his drink.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing," he hummed, "Just wondering how long you're gonna lie to yourself."

"Excuse me?"

Michael rolled his eyes and then looked her in the eyes.

"How old are you?" he asked. She furrowed her eyebrows.

"Twenty-one?"

"So you're an adult."

"Yes? What does–"

"And adults do things that are scary."

"I mean, not–"

"So go over there and ask her to dance and stop saying you come to a gay bar to make me feel better," Michael said, throwing a straw wrapper at her. She stared blankly at him for a moment, stumbling over her entire thought process.

"I'm not–"

"Izzy," he said, "Fuck labels. Have fun and figure it out on the way. You want to talk to her so go do it."

Isobel felt frozen for way too long. He eventually rolled his eyes and took a sip of his drink.

"Or don't. Not gonna shove you out of the closet," Michael said, putting his drink down, "But I'm gonna go hit on that guy over there. Take your time." Michael stupidly pat her on the back and swaggered over to a guy covered in tattoos and who Isobel wouldn't have assumed was his type.

But eventually her eyes drifted back to the absolute angel who was already looking at her. Isobel quickly looked back to her drink.

Yeah, that girl was gorgeous, that didn't mean Isobel wanted to dance with her. It didn't mean Isobel wanted anything to do with her at all. But she was staring at her and that had her face turning an embarassing shade of red.

And when she looked up again, Angel was coming closer.

"Do I know you from somewhere?" Angel asked. Isobel, bold and ever-confident Isobel, opened and closed her mouth a few times to try and find words. And Angel smiled. "I think I do."

"I don't think–"

"No," Angel said, "I know you. I can feel it. Come dance with me."

And, well, Isobel couldn't say no.

By the end of the night, she and Michael walked home full of excited laughter at the new revelation.

.2.

Isobel decided she was blessed when a stunning, long-legged maid of honor walked into the venue.

She looked like a goddess, honestly, high-waisted jeans and a dark purple shirt tucked into them. Her sun-kissed skin complimented her short, firetruck red hair. Isobel hadn't seen the braids maid dressed yet, but she could already see her looking gorgeous in it.

"Isobel, uh, Evans Events, right?" she asked, "Daphney sent me in her place. She's sick and can't taste anything."

"Well, you're a good friend," Isobel smiled, "Nice to meet you."

Isobel led the way to the kitchen where the caterers had set up a bunch of cakes to test. Goddess looked over them and gave her a little smirk.

"Maybe it's unprofessional of me to ask," Goddess said, "But do you maybe wanna try these with me?"

"Maybe it's unprofessional of me to agree," Isobel said, "But why not?"

The next 45 minutes consisted of making eyes with a stranger while trying cake, creating a new form of foreplay out of nothing more than looks. It built slow until eventually they stood closer and Goddess made an excuse to make her try a bite off her fork. Isobel hummed softly in approval and watched as Goddess licked off the excess icing after her. It was small, but heat bloomed in her stomach at the sight.

As confident as Isobel was, this was also brand new territory. She'd danced with women, even kissed them, but she'd only ever slept with men. It was a travesty, honestly, but it seemed like she had a real shot at experiencing something.

"I think this is the one," Goddess said, nodding.

They wrapped that up as quickly as possible and yet it still felt like hours of talking and trying to make sure she didn't let this woman just leave. Eventually, when they finally finished finalizing that, Goddess turned to her.

"Would it be unprofessional to ask you to walk to me to my car?" she asked.

"I mean, technically, you're not my client and my day ended with finalizing the cake choice. What we do doesn't have to be professional," Isobel said boldly. Goddess smiled slow and suggestive and Isobel was losing her goddamn mind.

She walked her to her car and neither of them left it for the next 45 minutes.

.3.

"Don't tell Max."

"Oh, my favorite stories start like that, go on."

Isobel rolled her eyes at Michael and bit the tip of her thumb as she looked around to make sure no one overheard. She leaned against his shoulder.

"I'm gonna sleep with his new coworker."

Michael laughed, but he hid it by bowing his head when she dug her elbow into his side. Then her name was called and she left his side to grab the tray of four coffees. They waited until they got outside and started walking to the police station before they continued their conversation.

"How do you know she's into women?" Michael asked, "Actually, how do you guys do that? 'Cause I still haven't figured out how to do that if I'm not in a gay bar."

"It's all about the eye contact, Michael, Jesus, you know nothing," she scolded. He just snorted in response, waving for her to continue. "I brought Max coffee yesterday like I always do and I had to wait for him to get back and we talked a little bit and basically I know she's into me."

"She said that?"

"No, eye contact, keep up."

"Oh, okay," Michael said, "How can you tell the difference between, like, normal cop eye contact and flirtatious eye contact?"

"What do you mean? There's a clear difference between authoritative eye contact and 'fuck me' eyes," she said. Michael didn't respond right away and she gave an exaggerated sigh. "You poor, poor child."

"Yeah, whatever, I'm the one getting regular dick from a guy training to be a military officer and you're just making eyes at your brother's co worker, who's the real loser here?"

"Still you."

"Rude."

Isobel smiled and looped her arm with his, both of them grabbing their respective coffees and taking a sip as they continued walking towards the station.

When they stepped inside, she almost immediately saw Jenna Cameron sitting posted up on her desk. She was as gorgeous as she remembered and immediately went to give her the coffee she got her.

"Didn't forget you this time," Isobel said as Michael excused himself to give them space.

"Thanks," Jenna said, taking a sip slowly and maintaining eye contact. For a moment, Isobel could see how Michael blurred the two different types. But she could tell and it felt glaringly obvious. "You know, Max doesn't talk about you enough."

"Oh?" Isobel asked, smiling as she leaned against the desk, "Well, what is he leaving out?"

"From what I can tell," Jenna said, pausing to give her an obvious once over, "A lot."

"Well, maybe we can go out for drinks and I'll tell you anything you want to know," Isobel proposed. Jenna smirked and nodded.

"I'd like that," she said, "And maybe I can teach you a few things while I'm at it."

"Like what?" Isobel prodded.

Jenna just shrugged, coyly taking another sip of her coffee and keeping Isobel on her toes. She enjoyed every goddamn second.

"Just a couple of things," she said, "Maybe a couple different ways to use handcuffs. You know, if you're interested."

Isobel sucked in a deep breath and her skin felt hot. It was so, so forward. She was obsessed already. Sorry, Max.

"I'm interested. Absolutely."

"Good."

And Jenna taught her more than a few things.

.4.

It wasn't until she was 26 that Isobel realized something might be a little off.

"Shhh, it's okay," Isobel whispered, combing back Michael's hair as he threw up until there was nothing left to throw up and he was just dry heaving and sobbing into the toilet.

He'd gotten a call from one of Alex's brothers who gave a slightly incoherent spiel that boiled down to Alex's unit having been bombed and he hadn't been found yet. There was a chance he'd never be found or, if he was, he wouldn't be found alive. Michael was a mess.

It didn't quite make sense to her, mainly because she didn't realize he and Alex were still speaking. She thought they hooked up sometimes, but she didn't notice that Michael saw it as more than a hook up. And, yeah, you could be upset about a hook up or a friend dying, but... This was Michael. He was deteriorating in her hands.

She tried to think about a time maybe he'd let on that he was in a relationship with someone and couldn't remember it. She always just assume he was like her, not like Max, and thought dating was stupid. It was fun to hook up, but she never really craved more. Hell, ever since Michael encouraged her to ignore labels and just dive into her sexuality, she stopped worrying about that pressure all together. Every time someone asked when she was going to get married and pissed her off, she had Michael right there confirming her feelings right alongside her.

And now he wasn't.

"It's not okay," Michael choked out, "It's never gonna be okay."

Isobel laid her cheek between his shoulder blades, still combing through his hair and trying her damnedest to comfort him through something she couldn't understand.

"We-we were supposed to have more time," Michael cried, "This was supposed to be his last tour. He was supposed to come home. We were gonna get married, Isobel. Now he's just gone. He's gone. I didn't get to say goodbye."

Married. That one word rung in her mind through his whole speech. He wanted to get married. Her brother, the one person just like her, wasn't like her at all. He wanted to get married. She hadn't considered it. She hadn't wanted to.

She thought through the catalogue of people she'd hooked up with and not a single one had she ever wanted to actually be with romantically. It never crossed her mind. Was it possible she still hadn't met the one?

She pushed the thoughts out of her head for later. Michael deserved her full attention.

"It's not over yet," she whispered, "They might still find him."

"But–"

"And if they don't, then I'm here. You're not alone, okay?" Isobel promised him. Michael choked on a sob, but he nodded.

She held him until the phone called to say he was found alive. Barely, but alive.

They slept easier after that.

.5.

Josh, Brandy, Caroline, Sam.

Isobel dated every different type of person she could find, trying to find her person. They all either bored her, went too fast, or wanted to push boundaries that she didn't like being pushed. PDA was much different when it was something like holding hands and she didn't like it.

In fact, she hated all of it. She was almost 30 and she'd been dating even though she didn't really want to. She'd heard women online say it was fine to be single, but it still didn't sound right. She single didn't feel like the right word. She wanted something... just not that. She didn't know how to describe it.

"You think there's something wrong with me?" Isobel asked Michael as they laid out by the pool she'd had installed during the winter. He turned his head to her, shielding his eyes from the sun with his hand.

"What?"

"I want like a perpetual fuck buddy instead of a boyfriend or a girlfriend," Isobel said, "I don't mind it being the same person for awhile, you know, but just not like that. Every time I've tried, everyone wants something different than I do. Is that so wrong?"

"No," Michael said, "Who said it was?"

"I mean, my mom, society," Isobel explained. Michael snorted.

"Fuck society."

"Yeah, but still. Even you have a person, what if I don't?" Isobel said. Michael shrugged.

"I wouldn't really call Alex my person," Michael said, "But I'm sure you have someone out there."

"What if I don't want one?"

Michael paused for a few seconds before saying, "You don't have to have one."

"Then why did you have a dramatic pause?" He stayed silent for too long again. "Michael!"

"Sorry, I'm just thinking," Michael said, "Is it commitment you're not interested in or is it the, like, romantic relationship part?"

She thought about it, but it didn't long to find her answer as she filtered through her failed relationships. It was fine up until the point they started expecting her to be a girlfriend or started treating her like one.

"Romantic part," she said as confidentially as she could. He hummed and laid back on the chair.

"Have you ever heard of asexuality?" he asked.

"Yeah, but I'm not that. Definitely not that," she said. He snorted.

"Yeah, but there's a word for the other side of things too. There's aromanticism, kinda sounds like what you're saying. Or at least what I know about it," he explained. Isobel's mouth felt a little dry.

"What happened to fuck labels?"

"I mean, yeah, still fuck labels. But they can be helpful sometimes when you feel alone," Michael explained, "And that might help. I can help you look into it."

"Okay," she agreed softly.

They stayed silent for a little longer as she mulled over the word. If that was it, then she had an answer. She liked the idea of having an answer. She also liked the idea of not having to fucking worry about something so trivial.

That sounded nice.

+1

"You're fucking married!"

"I'm fucking married!"

Isobel hugged Michael so tight she nearly lifted him off his feet. He just laughed helplessly, so unrelentingly happy. And she was happy for him. Maybe she didn't get it, but it didn't matter. He was happy and that mattered.

"This is so fucking weird," Michael laughed, looking around the room at their tiny little reception. Alex was sitting beside his brother, Greg, talking about whatever brothers like them talked about.

"I bet," she said, resting her head against his shoulder as they stared out at the party.

It took a little while, but Isobel finally realized that her relationships were just going to be a little bit different. Just remove the romance. It made it harder to find someone, but, honestly, it was worth it now that she had a word and an understanding. Queer platonic partners weren't easy to come by where they lived, but she didn't even care. She was finally happy with her situation.

"I'm so happy for you," Isobel said. She'd gotten to walk him down the aisle which was an unforeseen dream of hers. "You and Alex are gonna be so happy."

"I hope so," Michael breathed, "A long goddamn time coming. I'm ready to just fucking be with him without all the bullshit."

"Well," Isobel said, "Your time is now."

"Yeah."

He rested his cheek against her head and watched as Alex squeezed his brothers arm before getting up to go speak to someone else. Isobel watched as Greg sort of folded in on himself after Alex left, curling over his phone.

"Don't tell Alex, but his brother's kind of hot," Isobel noted. Michael snorted.

"You know what, Greg might actually be a good fit for you. His dad fucked him up real bad."

"Oh, thanks for that."

"No," Michael laughed, "I meant he's got a bad track record at girlfriends 'cause he doesn't give them enough attention or whatever. Married to his job, he said. But he's nice and he does his best, so I say go for it. See if you guys fit."

"Ooh," Isobel said, slowly peeling herself off Michael, "Gonna go see if I can offer something more his speed, you go blow your husband." Michael laughed and let her go.

"Oh, and, Izzy?" he said before she got too far. She hummed as she turned back to him. "You're my person. Not Alex. Just thought you should know."

And that meant more to her than anything else.

[kitty8roses]

This is what I sent to her lol (under a cut tho bc im not that mean)

DONT LOOK UNDER THIS CUT FOR GIVEN SPOILERS!!!!

Ritsuka quickly realizes that Mafuyu is an exceptionally talented singer, and invites him to join the band. Ritsuka learns that Mafuyu's guitar was previously owned by Yuuki, Mafuyu's childhood friend and boyfriend who died in an apparent suicide. The band begins composing music in advance of a live performance, but Mafuyu is unable to write lyrics for the song.

On the day of the performance, Mafuyu has a breakthrough and sings a powerful song about his feelings of loss over Yuuki. The song prompts Ritsuka to realize his romantic feelings for Mafuyu; he kisses him backstage, and they begin dating shortly thereafter.

The band names itself – "Given", in tribute to the guitar given to Mafuyu by Yuuki – and begin to develop a following after posting a video of their live performance online. Given qualifies for a major amateur music festival, and begin preparing new material. Their efforts are complicated when Akihiko, who Haruki secretly has romantic feelings for, becomes involved with his roommate and ex-boyfriend Ugetsu.

Ok so in the beginning of our show: our first protag mafuyu sato is seen walking to school In the rain (with an umbrella tho lol) he says, as narrator, “mafuyu is not lonely.” And also some other stuff that’s all vibe you know? So THIS is repeated through out the series with him saying that “mafuyu isn’t lonely” especially when something bad happens. The thing is he IS lonely. Why you may ask? Well, his ex boyfriend from middle school killed himself and he thinks it’s his fault and stuff. They had gotten into an argument and he drank himself to death. RIP yuki. The only time where I personally believe this statement of ‘not loneliness’ is true is after Uenoyama (other protagonist and love interest) kisses him. I think that’s very swagger. Right before sed kiss mafuyu sang a song that he wrote at a live performance with da band about his heartbreak with yuki’s death. The person he truly loved. It’s called fuyu no hashi and I recommend you give it a listen it’s really good. Uhm but uhhh he realizes after da kiss that he has a new love ❤️ Ue! Yay canon gay ship time let’s party owah owah

NOW I wanna talk abt the opening and op lyrics. They are SO GOOD. they explain Mafuyu’s situation so we’ll just *mwah*. I think it’s called kizuato. There’s this one part where the singer (which could be interpreted as mafuyu despite it not be8gn his voice) says “Rainy, sunny and cloudy

Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter. 365 days. You remain in all of them.” When he says the last line “you remain in all of them” we see mafuyu holding his guitar when a pair of arms wraps around him from behind like a hug. He shifts and kind of like compresses himself? Like you know what would happen if you got a hug. These arms are kinda transparent and they disappear before the line and that clip is over. AT FIRST before I knew about yuki and all that I thoguht they were from his late dad but now I believe the arms belong to yuki. Mafuyu’s dad was abusive and hit him when he spoke and I thoguht that would be the part of his trauma the show focused on but it wasn’t, instead they focused on yuki and his death more. Anyways I thoguht that was cool and representative of what happened pretty well.

Part of it also makes me wanna cry tho. It says “Dig them out. Take away these memories. The invisible voices that wouldn't reach. That Make me suffer/ suffocate me. Search deeper and take a look at this pain inside of me.” Specifically the “take away these memories” part just,, damn. And the invisible voices thing is just too fucking relatable. I’m so sorry Mafuyu

Oh god now I’m getting emotional about fictional boys who play guitar in front of my friends. Sorry guys.

Anyways. Main statement of the song time. “Everything you left behind, became my everything.” D a m n. Not only could he be talking about the guitar the he owns that is from Yuki he could also just be talking about the memories. ‘All the memories you left me, became the only thing that brought me comfort’ and that’s just... so sad man. He LOVED this boy. So much :/ It’s equally as sad with the guitar too. Because of how desperately he wanted to learn to play. For yuki’s sake because YUKI loved music. ‘This guitar you (kinda your mom but wtv lol) gave me, became my life” because it DOES become his life. When he finally accepts new love is after singing fuyu no hanashi. He finally lets go of all the pent up grievance and emotions while singing that song.

Now that point flows perfectly into our next one. It’s a possibility This will be the last one so just bear with me, please! So, one of Mafuyu’s main things is that he never knows how to respond or react the “proper” way. First of all!!!! NEURODIVERGENT KING. Second of all!!!! He talks about how he just doesn’t feel emotions as strongly or just the right way as other people. And how he can’t bring himself to cry and can’t cry despite losing his true love. After the kiss, mafuyu cries. A started clapping for him like yay!!! An icon ❤️ not only did he find a new love and move through some trauma but he also experienced a lot of emotions that he struggles to experience! That’s so good for him 💕💕But yeah he’d been talking about in the show how he just couldn’t “cry or laugh as hard as the other people could” which I can understand very well. It can feel dehumanizing at times so I’m really happy for him. One of the main reasons I kin him!

This brings me into a sort of continuation point about how no thought brain empty emotionless kin time. Sorry o just had to write that out Bc my nose started bleeding and I had to go take care of that and also not forget my clause (again). Mafuyu talks to Uenoyama about how everyone thinks that he doesn’t have emotions or doesn’t have thoughts because of how quiet he is and how emotionless he seems. And how he’s come to kind of believe it himself (a sort of ‘am I really thinking ever’ type beat). Ue kinda-over-aggressively is liek “hell no!!!! No way brain not have thought >:(“ like a old you know? And yes KIN TIME. not to make it about me or anything but I’m also constantly told/it’s joked about how I don’t have emotions. I just kinda roll with it tho.

I wanna say one more thing to end off on a note that isn’t about me but I can’t think of one so let me think. So much for that other one being the last shsndujsjjsidj

:OOOOO ok so I’m rewatching given and I just noticed another thing

So in the beginning, the VERY FIRST thing mafuyu talks about is how he keep shaving the same dream over and over again (this is to himself when he’s walking to school). Then, we see a clip of this dream. He is standing in front of someone (but it’s kinda shadowed so I didn’t see the other person the first time) and his eyes go wide and he grips his guitar so hard one of the strings snap.

Not only do I realize that 1) that dream actually happened: hs8 is a scene from when he fo7nd yuki’s body hanging (mafuyu was the one who found him dead). You can tell from the bottles on the ground (yuki got super drunk and then hung himself). this is why mafuyu’s guitar string is broken for Uenoyama to later fix.

I also realize 2) that this dream actually happened. I realized this when watching the show the first time tho lol. Right before the big concert, mafuyu accidentally breaks his guitar string again. And then Ue has to go run to the music store and buy a new one. That’s why there’s a look of desperation on his face when it happens because, Uenoyama brought his hope back by fixing the string the first time but now he messed it up again. Thank the lord for Haruki and reminding them it can be fixed!

Last thing 3) I talked about the hug scene in the last rant right? Well, when mafuyu broke the strings the first time (upon discovering yuki’s body), he mirrored the motions that he made in the hug scene in the opening. I think I described it as him shifting his body and guitar and like compressing himself? Yeah.

I realized one last minuscule thing while writing this but I doubt you care.

[timelords-angel-is-sherlocked]

Reindeer - Lukadrien

This is a bit ooc, hope it’s enjoyable anyway. I am so behind on this prompt challenge. I blame finals.

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” Adrien whispered.

“Sh, it’s fine.” Marinette had the biggest smile on her face.

“What if we get caught?” He tried again.

“We will if you keep talking. Come on.” Luka gently tugged Adrien towards the chain-linked fence.

“We haven’t done anything yet, but this is the most fun I’ve ever had.” Kagami also was smiling. “If we get caught, we’ll run. We’re fast enough.”

Adrien, Luka, Marinette, and Kagami were currently jumping the fence into an empty carnival. It was 1 in the morning and the actual carnival opened later that day, but Luka and Marinette had convinced their friends to sneak in with them. Kagami agreed since she was able to spend more time with her girlfriend. Adrien agreed because Plagg wouldn’t stop teasing him and Luka had asked. How could he say no to him? He was low-key irresistible.

“I want to play the games first! They are so rigged. So let’s play on our own terms.” Marinette pointed in the direction of the tents that had the different games.

“Great idea, Mari! I wanna try and shoot some hoops.” Luka winked at Adrien. He’s been practicing shooting hoops to try and show off his skills (in which Juleka rolled her eyes and told him to just ask him out already).

The teenagers headed over and went to the basketball hoops. Kagami was fairly decent, Marinette accidentally hit Adrien, Adrien was making almost all of his shots, and Luka was impressive (but not as good as the blonde).

“You’re awesome at this Adrien! I didn’t think you would be so good at this.” Marinette hid her snickers behind her arm the best she could.

“That’s right Luka. You’ve never been in my room. I have a basketball hoop. So when I get bored, I often try to do trick shots and stuff.” To save her best friend from embarrassment, Marinette walked over to the prize sections.

“Prick your prizes, everybody!”

“Isn’t that... Stealing?” Adrien hesitated.

“Oh, please. I was looking into the amount of profit these carnivals make and it is a big number. They charge for entrance, rides, games, and foods. They always have leftovers anyway, so I think it’s fair to assume that they actually steal from the consumers,” Kagami tried to reason.

“Still.” Adrien was still unsure. 

“Well if I do it, then you won’t be the one stealing.” The guitarist walked over and grabbed a giant stuffed black cat and handed it to the flustered boy. “Something to remember tonight by.” He winked.

“That’s so gay,” Marinette whispered to her girlfriend. They laughed and moved onto the next game.

They only got two stuffed animals each and were quietly laughing with each other. Adrien had loosened up and was starting to enjoy himself despite their probably illegal actions.

“It’s like a secret behind the scenes,” he realized out loud. The others looked at him and laughed.

“Oh my God.” Marinette stood still and pointed off to the distance.

“What’s wrong?” Kagami squeezed her hand.

“Are those reindeers?” They walked over with their haul and stopped outside of the pens.

“They are reindeers, awesome!” Adrien smiled and put his hand out to a baby. It walked towards him and nuzzled his hand. “I think I’ve died and gone to heaven.”

“I have peaked tonight.” Mari swooned as one sat in her lap. They stayed and whispered with each other while petting the animals. Adrien was crying because he was having so much fun. They took some pictures (for themselves, no way was this going on social media) and were starting to fall asleep.

“Hey!” A flashlight was shone in their direction and they froze like deers in headlights.

“Run!”

As gently as they could, they walked away from the animals and jumped out of the encounter. Then, they full-on sprinted away with their oversized stuffed animals. The security guard was gaining on them and they chose to split up. The girls went left and the boys right.

“Oh my goodness, we are so going to get caught.” Adrien chanced a glance behind him and panicked when the security guard chose to chase them.

“Don’t panic. Come on.” Luka grabbed his hand and took a sharp right. They were running in zig-zags and randomly taking way too sharp of turns. When they had a little bit of a head start, they ducked into a tent and hid behind a bookcase. They were there for about half-hour and then Luka’s phone vibrated.

From: Little Rascal

He’s over by the reindeers. Meet at ur place or mine?

To: Little Rascal

Urs. Be safe

“This is our chance. Let’s go,” Luka whispered to the model. As stealthily as they could, they went over to a fence and climbed over. They of course still had their prizes. “We’re going to Marinette’s.”

“Can I just say this has been the most eventful day of my life? And it’s not even 4 a.m. yet!” Adrien’s hair was a bit frazzled, but his tired smile conveyed how much fun he actually had.

“This was so much better than I thought it was going to be,” Marinette laughed. She spun in a circle and kissed her girlfriend. “Thank you for coming Adrien. Do you guys want anything to eat?”

“I’ll take a muffin!” Luka exclaimed.

“My usual.” Kagami kissed her cheek.

“Whatever Luka is having. And I am so glad you guys were able to convince me to come. I will never forget this day.”

They ate in peaceful silence. The adrenaline rush was starting to die down and the teens were feeling tired.

“I’ll walk you home.” Mari glanced at the time. 3:05 a.m. Her girlfriend nodded her head.

“I’ll walk you home?” Adrien offered Luka.

“I would like that, yeah.”

“This was honestly the most fun I had in my whole life,” the model reiterated.

“I’m going to write a song for tonight. How about I show it to you later?”

“Yeah! I mean, that would be cool.” Adrien blushed.

“Cool.”

The rest of the walk wasn’t awkward, but it wasn’t necessarily comfortable either. The two boys wanted to say something but were too shy to say it. 

“I just wanted to say-”

“You know, I-”

They both laughed. They were standing outside of Luka’s boathouse and were awkwardly shuffling their feet.

“You know, I am glad that we got to spend time together.” Luka smiled.

“Me too, Maybe we should hang out again. Just the two of us. Preferably not doing anything illegal,” Adrien chuckled.

“Are you asking me on a date?” Luka raised an eyebrow.

He wasn’t sure if it was because it was so late or because of his tiredness, but Adrien felt confident. “Yeah, I am. I’ll text you the details when I can.”

Luka blushed and ran his hands through his hair. “I’ll be looking forward to it. Goodnight, Adrien.”

“Goodnight, Luka.” They shared a hug before parting ways. Adrien practically jogged all the way home. Since he was now alone, he felt extremely nervous. His Chat Noir swagger wasn’t with him this time around since Plagg was at home. When he made it to the mansion, he called out for his kwami who he knew was chilling in a tree waiting for him.

“Well, well. Look at what the cat dragged in.” Plagg laughed and flew over to his chosen. “In exchange for my service, I want the cat stuffed animal. You can keep the reindeer.”

“Gladly.”

Adrien went to sleep that night clutching the reindeer stuffed animal. It wasn’t as cute as the real thing, but Luka gave this to him so it was important.

[klaushargreevesofficial]

call my bluff, call you “babe”

steve harrington x robin’s best friend!reader

requests: heeey could you write steve harrington x fem! reader where she is robin’s best friend and she had a crush on steve during high school but he never notified her but one day she went visiting robin during her work and steve falls in love with at first sight (like she has a different personality from robin, she has like a bubbly personality) ijkohghjjkk thank you so much !!

Steve falling for robin’s best friend and her being skeptical bc she liked Steve in high school

title from taylor swift’s “it’s nice to have a friend”

word count: 4,381 (!!)

warning for cursing because i have the vocabulary of a 12 year old boy

“so you don’t care about me, is what I'm hearing.”

“god, you’re dramatic, y/n,” robin laughed, trying to pull on her shoes while navigating around her room. she was failing to maintain her balance, and every clumsy hop around her room served as punctuation of your premature loneliness. Robin was heading to work, an early morning after your late night sleepover. curled up to your ears in her sheets, your eyes followed her around the room. 

“I can't believe you’re leaving me to go hang out with steve harrington.” you punctuated your statement with a faux gag. Robin replied with a noncommittal hum and leveled her eyes with yours, serving to agitate you more. 

“I'm not hanging out with him. I'm trying to make money so I can afford all of the expensive candy you like for movie nights.” finally dressed and ready for work, robin sat on the edge of her bed. “and you,” she poked your head, “would like him, he’s not that bad anymore! annoying? yes! but an asshole? not at all.” 

listening to her lift steve up made you uneasy. all through high school, steve had been your dream boy. hadn’t he been everyone’s? with the hair, the eyes, the swagger in his step as he walked past you in the hallway...you just about died thinking about it. how embarrassing, you thought. having a crush on steve, the untouchable asshole of your formative years, was about as out of character and cringey as you could have gotten. he never spoke a word to you except to ask to copy off of your homework, and even then, he called you by the wrong name. but god, that boy was pretty. 

after graduation, you did your best to avoid steve at all costs. not that he would notice or care, but rather for your sake. it was embarrassing to recall the amount of times you had imagined him choosing staying at your house over a party, or fantasized about running your fingers through his hair. it was your character flaw that you decided to ignore and actively suppress. steve was an asshole, and you recognized that. thus, the active forgetting of steve harrington.

 the plan to gradually forget about your schoolgirl feelings for steve had been working, working really well. you’d stopped obsessing over that one time he had accidentally bumped your shoulder in the hallway (and walked away without apologizing, thank you very much), and you couldn’t even remember what color his eyes were. then robin sauntered into your house with her spare key and an unperturbed way about her, proclaiming she landed the mall job and “y/n, you’d never believe who my co-worker is.” and then the humiliation that came with liking steve came rushing back.

 did you resent steve? not at all. but at certain points, when you were at your lowest, you wished he could feel as lowly and unimportant as him and his adolescent goons had made you feel. sometimes, though you would never admit it, you wished steve harrington would pine after you, simply so you could brush him off and crush his pretty boy heart as he had crushed yours in high school. but thoughts like that made you feel bad, and were definitely not feasible. the only time nowadays that you had a vague hatred towards steve was when robin went to work. screw him for winning over your best friend too. 

“go to work, buckley. when you come home, i’ll be here, in this spot, borderline comatose. wake me up then.” you turned to your side and closed your eyes.

“maybe you could come see me at work, y/n! i’m sure my parents would much prefer that, rather than you lounging in my house all day.”

 “mmm, they love me,” you replied, already slipping back into a half-asleep state.

 ------------------------

“y/n!” robin exclaimed. “wait, is that my shirt?” you stalked into scoops ahoy, dark circles under your eyes. you had awoken after another 3 hours of sleep, and after 30 another minutes of being alone in robin’s house, you decided to finally bite the bullet and visit her at work. there was no motivation besides boredom, loneliness, and the hope that robin’s offers of free ice cream when trying to coax you to come still stood. 

“i’m exhausted. can i get a vanilla cone?”

 “i don’t see you opening your wallet to pay, y/n,” she said, her motions towards the freezer contradicting her words. she scooped a cone for you and one for herself, and you guys chuckled at how quick robin was to shell out ice cream that would probably come from her paycheck. leaning against the counter, you reveled in the silence that settled as you ate your ice cream. you cherished these moments with robin, where you guys could just enjoy each other’s presence, words unnecessary. for as much as the two of you talked, they didn’t occur often, but when they did, they were peaceful. 

robin and you both were enjoying the serenity of the moment, and then there was steve. loud, doors swinging, calling (or shouting, rather) for robin. instantly, you were on edge, and robin sensed it. she was aware of your past feelings towards steve, but unaware of how vast and intensely they spread. she was there when you’d comment quietly to her how nice he looked in his jeans, but absent for the doodling of “harrington” in hearts on the margins of your papers. 

seeing steve was a gust of wind in your hair and a suckerpunch to your gut, simultaneously. rigid, ice cream dripping down your hand, you turned to robin, who, despite being engaged in a conversation with steve about their break schedules, was subtly keeping an eye on you, making sure you were okay. “uh, robin?” both heads turned towards you, the first time steve had acknowledged you. the “ahoy” on their sailor hats was so aggressively there and ugly, it only served to make you more anxious. 

“is this…?” steve gave robin a look as if to communicate something to her, something secret, and you knew immediately what---or who, rather---he was referencing. stacey.  he thought you were stacey. stacey was robin’s beau, who you had listened robin talk about, cry about, gush about, for weeks. you felt blessed, as robin’s best friend, to be able to coach her through her first relationship, which you understood must be extra difficult as a closeted gay woman. robin never had any shortage of stacey related topics to talk about, and you were glad to serve as a sounding board. you’d always just assumed you were the only one robin could bounce her thoughts off of, especially because of her sexuality.

 steve thought you were stacey. which means...steve knew robin’s best kept secret. of course steve knew. robin had been preaching about how great and un-assholey he’d become since graduation, something that would only be tested and tried by robin’s candid confession of who she loved. you felt stupid for not having figured it out earlier. steve knew.

 “no, harrington,” you piped up, finally regaining your ability to speak for the first time since steve had kicked open the door to the Scoops backroom. “my name’s y/n, and we actually went to high school together. i’d say i’m surprised you don’t remember me, but you were an asshole back then, so….” you let your voice trail off, expecting a snarky remark back from the boy in front of you. steve knew. 

the only person behind the counter to pipe up was robin. “steve, this is y/n, my best friend, who is acting, surprisingly, much like one of those assholes she constantly proclaims to hate.” although she was addressing steve, her eyes were locked with yours. there was a jovial tone to her voice, she was clearly not upset with you, but you tilted your chin out in defiance, and tossed the remainder of the ice cream cone away. steve knew. he was quiet. “y/n,” robin began, her voice calm, “i’ll meet you at the Gap on my break. 2:45. go cool off, please?” you took a peek at your casio calculator watch. you had 45 minutes to kill. you gave her a curt nod, and completely disregarded silent steve as you walked out of the ice cream parlor. what had just happened? 

no, you didn’t mean to completely be a dick. it was hard to dissect your feelings. it certainly wasn’t fair for you to be upset that robin told steve her secret. you were proud she felt safe enough to share that important part of herself with him. if anything, you were more upset that of all the people in Hawkins, she chose your self-proclaimed, one-sided enemy.  but still, unfair. and...you sighed. steve hadn’t even said anything to you. could you blame him? he didn’t remember you, y/n, get over it, you thought. how long were you going to let your internal struggle with steve dictate your actions? especially now that there was a chance at a...mutual friendship of sorts, through robin. had you not fucked that up by the scene you’d just caused.

 seeing steve dredged up a lot of negative emotions, you realized. it was embarrassing, especially because everything you and steve “had” was fabricated in your brain. one sided, imaginary, call it what you want. and yet, here you were, harboring real, genuine hurt. at what point does an adult let go of these childish fantasies and quit playing the victim? had you only hurt steve’s feelings (which you weren’t entirely sure you did, seeing as he was just so quiet), maybe you wouldn’t have had the mindset shift, but you could tell robin was upset with your petulant behavior. and quite frankly, you were tired of holding on to high school. you turned on your heel, chuck taylors squeaking against the shiny mall floor, and walked back to scoops ahoy.

 the parlor was empty. no one lounging at the tables, cheerily eating a sundae. you assumed this was why steve and robin were huddled in the back room, having a hushed conversation that you could only hear remnants of. you chose to ignore steve yet again, but this time simply to give you the guts to ring the service bell repeatedly. if you pretended only robin could answer, it was easier to be annoying. she was used to you. so, with a heavy hand, you rang the bell. ding. ding. ding. ding. as you poised to ring it once more, steve opened the backroom door, scooper in hand.

 he let out a breath of what you marked as relief. maybe he’s just glad you wouldn’t actually be ordering ice cream, you thought, until he said, “i was hoping it was you.” 

“oh?” you spluttered, forgetting your whole purpose for returning to the ice cream shoppe. 

“yeah, y/n, i just,” he sighed as if to organize his thoughts. “you were right when you said that i didn’t remember you from high school because i was a pompous dick.” 

“i didn’t say those words!” you defended, then gestured for him to continue. 

“well, you might as well have. i just wanted to apologize, because i really sucked back then. i’m working on it.”

 were you ever expecting an apology from steve? no. maybe a few months ago you would have revelled in this, would have eaten it up and made him beg for forgiveness. but at this point, you had changed, and you felt that he didn’t even have to apologize. well, for much, at least.

 “you’re good, steve. i’m sorry for caring so much about social hierarchy. it probably isn’t even fair for you to apologize to me.” you shrugged.

steve leaned his elbows on the counter, next to the register, and thought for a moment. “fairness is subjective though, isn’t it? like, what’s fair to you might not be fair to me, or vice versa.” 

--------------

after you and steve had apologized to each other in the parlor of Scoops Ahoy, you, him, and robin had been inseparable. no outsiders would ever be able to tell that there was ever a time when you and steve weren’t on good terms...or on any terms for that matter.  as time progressed, you’d now easily call steve one of your best friends. you rarely were not at scoops ahoy, hanging out in the backroom and avoiding their managers. steve had an open invitation to your movie nights, now, although he wasn’t yet granted key privileges like robin was. (you were sure your parents would kill you if you ever gave steve harrington a key to your house.) you’d sat backseat in steve’s car as he and robin scream-sang songs you didn’t know the words to. steve and robin had a bond that you could never begin to understand, and you and robin had one steve could never understand.

 where did that leave you and steve? working on it, for sure. he was funny, intelligent, and quite personable. he was a great friend to robin, and a great friend to you. you felt bad for writing him off so soon. nothing was difficult with steve. you guys had split and shared plenty of burgers at the local diners, and often the two of you would go to the video store, where you educated steve about movies and their importance. steve was clingy, more so onto you than robin. he always wanted to come over, or wanted you to come hang out, or begged for you to tag along when him and robin went on an adventure. 

once, steve had sat you down with a very serious look in his eye, visibly nervous, and declared that you were his best friend. he didn’t know what a best friend felt like, he said, but since you were the person he liked to spend time with the most, it must be you. before you could reply with a similar sentiment, he had added “and robin. but she knew that.” 

so, yeah, things were good. and they remained good for months.

and then the switch flipped, and steve started skipping trio adventures, and calling off of work on days robin worked. calls were fielded, and whenever you caught him in the streets, he brushed you off with a “hey y/n” and a “gotta go.” you were worried, because he was isolating himself with no explanation. there was hardly a ghost of him in the spots the three of you frequented “what’s wrong with steve?” you had asked robin when you first noticed his prolonged absence. robin hadn’t brought steve up for a week, which was odd. normally conversations were peppered with his name, although you and robin had always tried your hardest to pass the in real life bechdel test. 

robin’s response of “i don’t want to talk about him,” confirmed your sneaking suspicion that something had occurred for steve to become so cold. robin and steve were two of the most easy going people you had ever met, so for them to have had an argument seemed far fetched. robin’s stoney features after you had mentioned his name, however, made it obvious to you that an altercation had happened. 

----------------

“what are you doing here?” steve stood behind his door, keeping it open only a hair so you couldn’t wedge yourself inside. 

“what is going on with you?” you asked coldly. the time for reaching out gently had passed.  “you’ve been absolutely ignoring robin & i, and for what, you asshole?”

 “oh shit, is she here?” his eyes scanned his front lawn frantically, in search for robin. “you shouldn’t be here, y/n.”

 “good thing you aren’t in charge of telling me what i should and shouldn’t do, dad. if you don’t talk to me...i’ll..i’ll scream!” 

“go away.” he motioned to shut the door. 

surprising him by how compliant you were, you turned on your heel and trotted down off of his front porch into the lawn. pleased with himself for getting you away so easily, he closed the door and turned the lock. as soon as you heard the lock click, and watched steve skate away through the window, you planted your feet and took a deep breath. 

and then you were screaming. god, you hoped his parents and neighbors weren’t home, because here you were, in steve harrington’s front yard, wailing. you were screaming bloody murder, pausing to catch your breath with all of the cadence of a baby’s cry. you started from a yell and transitioned into a scream. you screamed in every musical scale known to man. you screamed loudly, and you screamed even louder than loudly. your voice box was your portable “ring for service” bell. so, you exercised it.

it felt like years, although it was only 30 seconds of sound until steve came running out into his front yard. he was trying his best to be angry, asking you “what the actual fuck, y/n,” but he was stifling laughter. 

“i told you i would, steve.”“you’re so infuriating!” he let out a frustrated chuckle, and carded his hands through his hair, tugging. “and i’m,” he sighed, facing you with a hollow look in his eye. “i’m in love with you. god, i’m in love with you, and robin’s pissed. so i took a step away for her to cool off, and for me to,” he shrugged,”i don’t know, for me to get over it i guess.” 

for all of that screaming you had done earlier, you were now speechless. moments and moments, it felt like a million moments passed and there was nothing but silence. what were you to say? how do you respond to such a candid confession? finally, after what felt like three years of silence, steve cut his sad and unwavering eye contact and headed back into his house, leaving you there, feet planted, stunned into silence and stagnance.

 you waited a beat in his lawn, processing. then the only thing on your mind was robin. you made a mad dash to your car, shaking your key ring in an effort to start the engine faster. after speeding an ungodly amount, you reached robin’s house. you parked haphazardly in her driveway, shifting into park before you even braked to a stop.

 as you unlocked robin’s door, with your key labeled “robin’s” in big bold letters, she heard the lock jingling and came to the door. “y/n, i was just about to leave and come to your house! i want to go to a movie, is there anything good out?” 

“steve’s in love with me?” you spoke silently, feeling small, the gravity of the confession finally hitting you.

 “well, that’s not exactly a movie,” she tried to joke, but noticing the sullen look in your eyes, she sighed and took a seat on the couch. “yeah, he is.” 

“what the hell, robin?”  you took your usual seat to the left of her, sprawling your limbs out. “he told me you were pissed off.” 

“well, yeah! you broke your own heart in high school over him, and you were sick for years. imagine if he actually broke your heart? you’d be inconsolable.”

 “for him to break my heart, i’d have to feel the same way, dingus.” you poked her arm. 

“are you stupid?” she deadpanned, causing you to let out a shocked laugh and sit up straight.

 “robin!” you gaped. “i am not in love with steve!” 

“okay, you’re stupid,” robin said again, sending the two of you into a fit of giggles. you loved robin so much, that sitting there, laughing and talking about boys was enjoyable, and you almost forgot the two of you were talking about steve. your best friend steve. robin always knew you better than yourself, though, so her implications about your feelings for steve made you think. were you in love with steve? every memory the two of you had shared flashed through your brain like a movie montage. you and steve ordering two different entrees, and then splitting them. steve sneaking you into his house, past his parents, so you could lay in bed and read comics. steve letting you cling onto him during scary movie night, robin calling the both of you pansies in the background. that one time steve called himself daddy and your stomach did a little flip. 

“oh fuck, robin, i think i’m in love with steve,” you groaned, burying her head into her shoulder. everything was made complicated by this realization, you knew. robin and steve weren’t even on speaking terms because of this, and you hadn’t even been involved at that point. and you didn’t even respond to steve when he told you. he was probably so upset. further than that, what would robin think if you and steve were to like...try and get together? would she be mad? what would that mean for the three of you as a unit?

you relayed all of these feelings, thoughts, and questions to robin. although she was close to the situation and probably biased, you still trusted her the most to give you accurate and smart advice. her answers always were right, because she knew you better than you knew yourself. robin assured you that her and steve hadn’t explicitly fought, per se, but she had let him know how she felt about the situation and advised him to step away and sort himself out. but no argument had occurred, contrary to your imagined idea. there were no “bad terms” between the two of them, and robin said she felt like if she saw steve this weekend, they’d fall back into their normal relationship and banter. this soothed you. 

“but if...if steve doesn’t hate me, and something like, happens, how would you feel?” 

“first of all, y/n, you’re dramatic,” you nod in agreement. “as long as he’s not an idiot, and you’re not an idiot...i suppose i will be okay. as long as you’re not, like, gross or anything. but i trust both of you.” 

and that, honestly, was all you needed to hear. after pinky promising you would come back to robin’s house later and tell her everything, you left as quickly as you had come, whipping out of the driveway and going back to where your day’s adventure had first started: steve’s place.

 you felt like you were walking on eggshells around steve, and although you were so excited you wanted to scream (again) and bang on his door, you channeled all of your nervous energy into a doorbell ring and rocking back and forth on your heels. when steve came to the door, he looked sadder than you left him. his hair was wild, his eyes red.

“i love you,” you stated simply, but you felt like your words fell short. how do you put so much emotion into 3 words? there was no way that this could encompass what you felt for steve. you paused. “there’s no way that those words can encompass what i feel for you.”

 ------------

“you’re fucking annoying, steve,” robin stated, tossing a piece of popcorn at him as she stood up to leave. it was movie night at his house, and although he wasn’t really doing anything, him and robin were engaged in some playful banter. steve had made some comments about the poor cinematography of the movie robin had chosen, and she was displeased. you were situated snugly in steve’s lap, his arms wrapped around your waist. you vocally agreed with robin because, yeah, steve was annoying, and he gave your hip a pinch, making you jump.

 “asshole!” you yelped, peeling yourself off of him. 

“you love me,” he commented, not incorrect. 

“yeah, but you’re annoying.” you and robin were a united front, always, despite what you and steve’s relationship status was. you wrapped your arms around her tightly. “drive home safely, please.” she nodded and tipped an invisible hat. 

“i always do, y/n. you two lovebirds have fun, but not too much fun, because we have work tomorrow morning, steve!” she made a hand motion indicating that she was watching him, moving two fingers from her eyes to point at him. 

“aye aye, captain! get some rest, you’ve got a lot of ice cream slinging to do tomorrow. i’m thinking i’m going to hang in the backroom for a little bit.” he grinned as robin groaned, letting herself out of the front door with a sing-songy “goodbye.” 

“c’mere, love,” steve said, looking up at you from the couch. you gave him a big smile and returned to your seat in his lap, straddling him. 

this was the only thing that was different about movie nights now. you and steve would spend the night together afterwards. steve was your boyfriend now. could high school you believe it? you ran your fingers through his hair, giving him a soft kiss on his forehead. “i know you have work tomorrow, and i wanna spend as much time as possible with you, but i’m really tired,” you mumbled, laying your head on his shoulder.

 he nodded with a smile. “that’s okay, baby. let’s lay in bed, we’ll kiss a little, and i’ll let you sleep.” he pressed a kiss to the side of your head.

 as soon as the two of you were situated, face washed, pajamas on, covers pulled up to your chins, steve turned to you and pushed a piece of hair out of your face. “i can’t believe i have the coolest girlfriend ever.” “i can’t believe you’re this cheesy, harrington,” you replied, but his words made your chest warm. you were the farthest thing from cool, and all you had ever wanted was steve to think you were cool. although he was, at this point, not a very good judge of being “cool,” because he had evolved into less of a high school king and more of a loveable dork, you were still elated to hear this from him. steve thought you were cool. and you weren’t, clearly, but he wasn’t either. you pressed a kiss to his lips gently, a smile permanently etched onto your face. “i love you, dingus.” 

[filmfanatic82]

AO3 Link (HERE)

Chapter 14: O (IV)

Why is this so freakin’ hard?

Everyone else makes it look so easy. They laugh and smile as if they don’t have a single care in the entire world. No worries. No second guesses. No invisible itch that they can’t seem to scratch.

They seem to just exist.

But how?

How does everyone else do it?  

Octavia takes a long sip of her beer as she wanders aimlessly throughout the sea of seemingly happy and drunken partygoers. She’s been meandering from room to room for the last hour or so, not sure where to go or who to hang out with. Clarke and Lexa are nowhere to be found and Rae…

Octavia stops for a moment and exhales as a sudden realization crashes down upon her, bringing forth a new wave of emotions. Raw and powerful. She tries to inhale but it’s no use. It’s as if her body has forgotten how to function.   

Raven Reyes. 

Fuck.

She wants Raven. 

Octavia starts to move once again. This time, though, with a newfound purpose. She chugs her beer as she wades through the crowds and then cuts through the kitchen, exchanging it out for a fresh one as she does. 

Fuck.

Why hadn’t it occurred to her before?

It’s Raven.

It’s always been Raven.

Octavia pounds back another long swig and swallows it down along with her bubbling emotions. Her eyes scan the surrounding crowds for any signs whatsoever of the older Latina but only is met with foreign glances instead.  

But what she wants to be with Raven, then does that make her?

Gay? 

Bi?

Something else?

Octavia has never attempted to dive too deep into her own sexuality before. In all honesty, up until this very moment, she hasn’t given much thought to it at all. Those feelings-- or any feelings even remotely even within those realms-- were always just non-existent for Octavia. Like a puzzle piece that life conveniently forgot to give her. 

But now…

Fuck.

Now, it’s nothing but all-consuming.

Octavia finishes her second beer in record time. She places it down on the nearby fireplace mantel and then lets out another, deeper breath of air. Her heart pounds against her ribcage, all but drowning out the rest of the sounds around her.

But what if Raven doesn’t feel the same way?

She’s with Finn.

Right?

And before Finn, there had been a brief stint with a douchebag of a guy from St. Mark’s named Wick. 

Octavia runs her hands over her ponytail as her skin starts to itch once again. It’s faint, but it’s there nonetheless. 

God, where’s Clarke?

Clarke would know…  

She always knows.

Especially when it comes to Raven.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

She needs air.

Octavia doubles back through the kitchen, making a beeline straight for the sliding glass door. She bursts out of the house and doesn’t stop until she reaches the far edges of the yard. 

“Fuck,” Octavia exhales and then sucks in a fresh breath of crisp night air.

“O?”

Octavia practically jumps out of her skin at the sound of Raven’s voice. She turns around and is met with a familiar set of all-knowing chocolate brown eyes staring right back at her. 

Fuck.

Raven sits alone against the base of a trunk of a massive oak tree nursing a beer. Although heavily cloaked by shadow of the night, Octavia swears there's a slight hint of tears in the corner of her eyes, ready to start falling at any given second.

It’s got to be the moonlight… 

The moonlight and her eyes playing tricks on her. 

That’s it.

It can’t be tears. 

Not twice in one day.

“Rae. Shit,” O says collecting herself. She moves over towards the tree and takes a seat next to Raven. “Why aren’t you inside?”

“Could ask you the same thing,” Raven responds and there’s something unusual about the tone in her voice that throws Octavia for a loop. It lacks the normal cool confidence and swagger that the taller Latina is notorious for. 

“Where’s Clarke?” 

“Last I left her she was getting up close and personal with Senor Cuervos.”

“Body shots?”

“Oh yeah,” Raven responds widening her eyes a bit on the last word for added effect. She takes a sip of her beer and lets out an unorthodox heavy sigh. It’s all so odd to Octavia. As if for the first time ever she is getting a glimpse into the stripped-down version of Raven. The one that spends most of the time hiding behind a rock-solid facade of sarcastic remarks and cocky smirks. “And Finn was first one in line.”

“Finn?” 

Raven throws back another swig and gives the slightest of nods. “Finn.”

“Can I ask you something?” 

“Depend on what you’re asking.”

“Finn… Did you guys… Did you and him…”

“Breakup?” Raven finishes Octavia’s words for her without even missing a beat. “Yeah. We did.” 

“Oh…”

“Yeah. I told him something that I recently discovered about myself and let’s just say that he didn’t take it all that well.”

Octavia stares at Raven for a moment or two, desperate for an inkling-- even the smallest of ones-- as to what Raven is referring to.

Discovered?

Raven discovered something?

Something about herself? 

Something that made Finn break up with her?

Could it be…

Octavia sinks her teeth into her bottom lip as the next question bubbles up from deep inside of her. It lingers on the tip of her tongue, begging to be asked, but she hesitates, allowing her overwhelming sense of fear to take control instead. 

“O?”

“Huh?” Octavia snaps out of her thoughts and suddenly realizes that Raven is staring at her. “Sorry, I—“

“I’m gay. That’s what I told Finn.”

Those two words all but blindside Octavia, knocking the wind right out of her lungs. Her mind fights against a sudden avalanche of conflicting thoughts, desperate to stay within the moment. 

“How?” The question tumbles out of Octavia’s mouth before she realizes what exactly she’s saying. 

“How?” Raven asks back with a harsh laugh. 

“That’s not… I meant… How did you… ” Octavia shrinks a bit into herself as her cheeks ignite with a fierce scarlet hue. “How did you know?”

Raven shrugs. “Not sure really. I guess the signs were there all along. Like I never enjoyed making out with Finn. It always just felt like a chore to me. Like something I was supposed to do, you know?” 

“Yeah… I do.” Octavia nods.

“But things didn’t really click into place until roughly about a month ago. The morning after Clarke’s birthday. I woke up and discovered my arms were wrapped around this amazingly wonderful human being and I don’t know… It just felt so right. Like it was the missing puzzle piece that I didn’t know I was looking for. And I knew. Then and there. That that’s who I wanted to be with.” 

Octavia swallows dump the dry lump of emotions rising in the back of her throat as her heart begins to race once again. She can feel Raven’s eye upon her… Studying her. Waiting for a sign-- any sign-- that she hasn’t just royally fucked everything up. 

Another moment or two of silence passes, then--

“Please say something,” Raven quietly whispers, voice quivering. “I need you to please say--” 

Octavia surges forward and without a second of hesitation, she kisses Raven. 

__________

O stirs awake to the foreign sensation of two arms wrapped around their torso. It’s a warmth that they’ve all but forgotten can exist within their world. The one that they’ve tried so hard for years to replicate with Lincoln, but never could quite achieve. 

They lean into it, desperate for the moment not to end.  

It’s Raven.

It has always been Raven 

Their missing puzzle piece.

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

A sudden chorus of angry alarms cuts through the silence. O springs up, jostling Raven in the process, and scrambles out of the bed.

“O…”

“What’s wrong? Why is it beeping? Should I get a nurse? I should get a nurse.” O runs their hands over their topknot as they pace back and forth between the machines and the doorway. 

“O, stop…” Raven says again. 

“It’s not stopping. Why isn’t it stopping? Fuck.” O stops pacing and starts to check out the machines. “Did I loosen something? Like a wire? Shit. I pulled out a wire.”

“Stop!” O freezes, thrown off by the forcefulness in Raven’s voice. “The IV bag is empty. See?”

O’s eyes roam upwards towards the empty bag dangling at the top of the pole and then back down at the corresponding machine. A little red IV icon flashes on its monitor. 

“Push the green button twice and it’ll stop,” Raven says as she struggles to push herself up a bit in the bed. 

O does as they’re told and the alarm immediately stops. “How?”

Raven lets out a light laugh. “Haven’t you figured that out already? I’m observant, O. I pick up on things that others don’t.” 

“Sorry,” O sheepishly replies, curling back up in the nearby armchair. “I just--”

“Freaked out?”

“Yeah.”

Raven nods. “Glad to see some things never change.”

O’s stomach churches as the hidden meaning of the comment settles within them. They feel Raven’s eyes upon them… Studying them. Waiting for a response-- any response-- to the glaring elephant lurking within the room.

“Rae, I…” O stutters, avoiding eye contact at all costs. They can’t. Not right now. All it will take is one glimpse of those chocolate brown eyes and they’ll finally crumble from the weight of it all. 

They freak out.

That’s what they do. 

Always has.

And Raven knows it.

“Sorry,” Raven cuts them off. “Forget I said anything.”

O remains fixated on their beat-up pair of converse on their feet. They pick at the cracks in the rub soles, desperate for the distraction. They suddenly don’t know what to say. There’s a part of them that wants to lay it all out for Raven to see. Everything. Every last horrible indiscretion and scar from the past few years. 

But the underlying fear is just too overwhelming. 

Where do they even start? 

And what if…

What if it isn't enough? 

If their explanation falls short.

And they lose the only person that’s ever loved them… The real them.

“No. I… I deserve that.”

“O…”

“I deserve a lot more than that.” O blinks back tears forming in the corners of their eyes. They still can’t bring themselves to look up. 

It’s too much.

“I should’ve known better,” Raven says and O’s heart cracks at the raw vulnerability within those words. “I pushed you.” 

“You didn’t do anything.” 

“Not according to everyone else, remember? Bellamy… And Clarke… Hell, I know Mama G even blames me a little bit even though she’ll never admit to it.” 

“They shouldn’t,” O responds. “I kissed you.”

“Yeah, but I knew you weren’t ready. And I should’ve stopped, but…”

“But?”

“But I didn’t want to.”

O takes a deep breath and then musters up the courage to finally look up at Raven. “Me either.” 

Raven nods as a bittersweet smile slides across her lips. “I know.” 

“Rae, I--”

“I meant what I said. Earlier. About it being nice to finally meet the real you.” 

“Yeah?” O asks, trying their best to hide the utter unsureness in their voice. 

“Yeah.”

“Thanks.” O’s cheeks ignite as their hand wanders up to the back of their head, rubbing the soft pelt of stubble up and down. It’s oddly comforting like an invisible reassurance that they do in fact exist. 

“You’ve gotta let everyone else see you too.” 

“But…”

“No buts… And no more hiding.” 

“I can’t… I…”

“Yes, you can.”

“But what if they don’t… If they don’t accept it?”

“It’s not about them, O,” Raven says doubling down the intensity radiating from her eyes. “It’s about you.”

[anaklnky]

𝙞𝙢𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙗𝙪𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙨𝙨 [arthur shelby x reader]

🔗 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: arthur shelby x fem!reader

📖 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: y/n is a massive tomboy and often gets picked on by members of the public. she wears mens clothes. but that doesn't put arthur off at all. one day when she enters the garrison and a group of men make comments. arthur steps in,,, but not before someone else does.

📣 𝐚/𝐧: ooo i hope you like dis one ;) link to what y/n is wearing is below.

⚠️ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐞𝐭𝐜: violence, alcoholism, smoking, swearing, making out??, homophobic comments, vulgar language... you have been warned.

it was a saturday morning. still looked as dull and deathly as ever in small heath. but i couldn't give a shit. small heath was my home.

i woke up and put on my usual atire; which included a white shirt, a black jumper, black trousers and black leather shoes. to finish off my unique outfit, i included a silver chain around my neck and rolled up both trouser legs at least twice. as so they didn't drag upon the dirty floor.

as i jumped up from off of the floor, i heard the bedroom door creak open.

"mornin' love." it was arthur. my husband of 6 years. "ow' are ya this mornin'?" he asked. in his hand he held a cup of tea. he then placed it on top of my dresser. which had pictures of my late family neatly arranged on it. with the odd bit of jewellery that had been passed down to me. far too blingy for my liking. so i had left them there simply for display. ornamental use.

"i'm good thanks, my love." i replied. arthur swooped down and placed a long, deep kiss in my hair. i smiled at the pressure laid on the crown of my skull.

me and arthur had married a year before war broke out. i was horrified when news struck the family that all three shelby men had signed up. to participate in the unneeded killing spree. i begged and pleaded arthur to stay at small heath, but as i knew, it was too late at the time. he had already signed his life away to the war. and i couldn't do a thing. but the time he spent away in france, didn't change a thing between us. infact, it drew us closer than ever to one another. when he returned home, i knew he would never be the same. i had seen it. with my own eyes. part of me was scared to fucking death. hoping arthur would let me help with the hellish nightmares that would proceed to come knocking on the walls of his memory during the night. but part of me was happy, happy that i would see him again and hold his figure in my embrace. sink into his chest and feel safe. but that was in the past, and the past is behind us.

"any plans for today?" i asked arthur. i walked towards him and placed my hands upon his chest.

"yeah, we gotta head over to the garrison," he replied, placing his hands on my cheeks, making me look up at him. "important bis'ness to look after." he leant down and kissed me. his thick moustache on his top lip felt harsh on my skin. but after 6 years of marriage, i grew used to it and began to love it.

the kiss grew heated. his calloused hands had since left my cheeks and were wrapped around my waist. pulling me even closer into him; my arms had risen to his head and rumaged into his thick hair. although he had an undercut, the hair he had was extremely thick. his kisses had abandoned my lips and trailed down my neck.

"arthur, we got-" he cut me off with a rough kiss to my lips, cutting me off. my hands went down to his cheeks and cupped his face. arthur then pulled me closer into him, if that was even possible. with my hands on his cheeks, i pushed arthur away slightly. earning a groan to fall from his chapped lips. "we got important bis'ness you said."

"yeah, we fucking do." he sighed.

"come on then, less' get going." i strapped my watch on firmly to my right wrist and put my guns in my chest holster. checking both of them beforehand.

"who you planning to kill today love?" arthur chuckled, a cigerette in his mouth. i walked towards him and took it from his mouth, putting it in mine and taking a long drag from it.

"fuckin' no one." i breathed out, blowing the smoke in his face. then putting the cigerette back his hand. i then marched out of our bedroom and down the stairs.

"you lil' minx!" arthur called out. i laughed at his response. i grabbed my black trench coat from the coat hanger and swung it over my shoulders.

"hurry ya' fuckin' arse up mr shelby, or i'll leave with out cha'!" i yell.

"coming mrs shelby!"

with that we both walked out the house and down to the garrison. where an unexpected event would occur...

3rd person

"come on harry, pass me a bottle of whisky." y/n told the bartender. "lemme show you what mrs arthur shelby can really do."

with that she placed the bottle of whisky to her lips and downed the spirit like it was water.

"go on y/n!" john called.

tommy, john and arthur stood around her as she gulped down the last drip of the single malt whiskey. when she finished, she placed the empty bottle on the bar surface.

"fuck me, i feel fuckin' marvelous!" y/n swung towards her husband. wrapping her arms around his waist.

"cause you are fuckin' marvelous." he lowered his voice dangerously deep. arthur then kissed her passionately on the lips.

"alright brother, calm down." tommy laughed, placing a smack to his elders' shoulder.

arthur's lips left y/n's. he looked at tommy under his eyelashes, frowning.

"fuck off tommy." he placed the tumbler of whiskey to his lips and took a swig.

"alright, arthur, he was just playin'!" she placed a soft kiss to his chin. he then slowly relaxed.

but he wouldn't be relaxed for long. that's when trouble grew.

"is that a bloke or a woman? it's hard to tell!" belted a man from the other side of the garrison. a group of men, that surround the individual, laughed alongside him.

the obviously hadn't noticed that y/n was accompanied by the peaky fucking blinders.

"what did he just fuckin' say?" growled arthur quietly. close to y/n's ear. john was about to swagger up to the them and give them a beating they'd never forget... or live through, but y/n grabbed his arm in time.

"you two leave it, cunts like them aren't worth the beating." y/n sighed, pulling john back into the circle and pulling arthur close. making sure he didn't kill the man.

"did you 'ear that? 'ave you gotta a cock or what?" the man didn't stop his horrible profanities. he kept pushing his buttons.

but when you pulled arthur into a deep kiss. he spoke.

"oi! gay boy, wanna come over 'ere and," he grabbed his crotch.

"that's fuckin' it." arthur growled, pushing you behind me.

but y/n pushed him behind her instead.

"y/n-"

she shrugged off her coat and passed it to john.

"sorry love." she reached into arthur's front pocket and pulled out a silver knuckle duster. she pushed it onto her strong hand.

the men started laughing again.

y/n walked up to them, face emotionless.

"what's ya' name ya' git." she asked, pulling a cigerette from her cigerette case. she brought out a lighter and lit it. then placing it back in her pocket.

"the names sands, georgie sands." he replied.

"right georgie, you can either leave this pub." she took a drag from the cigerette. "and never come back." the men all laughed.

"you 'ear that lads, this one gives out orders and threats." he slapped one of his mates shoulders. at this point everyone had cleared a circle in the middle of the garrison and gone quiet. waiting for mrs arthur shelby to give the man what he deserved.

"or, mr sands, get your arse fuckin' kicked." she hissed. taking another drag from her cigerette.

"i like me beer mate, so erm, i think i'll stay 'ere." he laughed.

"that wasn't a fuckin' option." with that y/n flicked the cigerette towards mr sands and launched at him.

y/n swung an punched him square in the face. with the knuckle dusters leaving permanent damage.

"you're fuckin' mad." mr sands whined. y/n reached out onto his collar and dragged him to stand up. as she did so, she pushed him up against the bar. the bloodied knuckle dusters were chucked towards the shelbys, with tommy catching them.

y/n wrapped her fingers around the man's throat and with the free hand, pulled a gun from her chest holster.

she stared madly at the gun, putting on a show. she stared at it, laughing. before putting the gun under mr sands' chin. a few men gasped.

"y/n, careful, you're drunk." tommy had his hand out.

"fuck off tommy, i know what i'm doin'." she sighed. she replaced the gun away from mr sands chin and put it on the bar. tommy backed away.

"harry, whiskey." y/n ordered.

harry rushed to pour the whiskey in a glass, before sliding it towards her.

y/n kept her hand wrapped securely around mr sands throat. she picked up the glass and shot the bitter liquid down her neck.

"ya see mr sands, you've seen the real me. now," she asked. "do you know who i fuckin' am?" she said through gritted teeth.

"no." he wheezed, shaking his head violently.

"i'm y/n fuckin' shelby," she growled. "this ones' wife." she pointed at arthur.

mr sands gulped.

"and if you fuck with me," she glared. "you fuck with 'im." she shook her finger at arthur. "you understand mr sands?"

he nodded again.

"good." she let his throat go. he keeled over and sprouted a coughing fit. mr sands' face had gone bright red due to lack of blood flow. "harry, another."

harry prepared another glass of whiskey and, again, slid it towards y/n. she then slid it towards mr sands.

"there ya go mr sands. we're equal now." she smirked.

"thank you mrs shelby, thank you." he shook.

y/n grinned evily, she walked over to the empty whiskey bottle from earlier. she grabbed it by the neck and wavered it around.

arthur gave her his raised eyebrows. "what ya doin' missus?" he whispered.

"'ang on love."

mr sands had finished with his drink and was now staring at y/n, scared.

"oh and mr sands, by the way, i don't want to suck ya cock."

with that y/n raised the empty bottle and bashed it against his head. mr sands fell to the floor limp. blood pouring from his head. y/n leant down and moved his head to the side, placing her hand below his nose. he was still breathing. alive. she stood back up and retrieved a cigerette from the silver case and lit it again. her bloody hands raised to her lips and brought the cigerette away from them. smearing blood on her face. she then turned to the rest of his group.

"and you, get fuckin' lost!" she pointed at the door. with that the men scuttled out of the garrison.

"fuckin' hell love." arthur laughed, taking the cigerette from y/n's lips and throwing it on the floor. "ya even sexier to me now more than ever. but ya shoulda let me 'andle that." he used his thumb to push the blood away from her lips, before kissing her fully.

he pulled y/n in closer and pushed her against the bar, making sure not to stand on mr sands. not that he cared. his lips locked with hers, kissing her harshly.

"alrigh' you two, thas' enough." tommy said. "arthur, take her home and clean her up, me and the boys will sort this out."

the two pulled away from each other and stood up straight. y/n brushed the blood from her hands onto her trousers. she then took her coay from john and put it on. "thanks john." he smiled and gave her a small nod.

"thanks tommy boy." y/n said, dragging arthur out of the garrison.

with that they left for their home.

"love, next time, lemme and the boys sort it out. as much as it thrills me to see ya like that, lemme sort the fucker out." arthur sighed, holding y/n close to his side.

"arthur, i was fine. but thanks for the worry." she looked up at him.

"i love ya y/n shelby."

"fuck me you've gone soft arthur shelby." y/n giggled. he just gave her a playful look. "i love you too you fuckin' horses arse."

[malexfan10]

Just wanted to do a little comparison

Everyone is free to ship whoever they choose, who they can relate to, admire, fell in love with etc.

A lot of people love Echo, some prefer her with Kyle

A lot of people love Malex, some prefer M&M

To each their own

For me, it's obviously Malex ❤

Not here to disrespect the fans of M&M, but for fun, I thought I would do a little comparison between the 2 ships

Malex vs M&M (aka The Other End of the Triangle From Hell)

Let's start with Malex:

- They connected on an emotional level because of the abuse they suffered in their youth

- Alex showed kindness by giving Michael a safe and warm place to stay, even though they were virtual strangers

- Michael ran to Alex's defense at prom

- Alex gave Michael his brother's guitar, allowing Michael to ease the chaos inside him

- Michael realized that him and Alex were one of 'those moments'

- Their first kiss where Alex fully expected Michael was going to let him down easy but instead, Michael pulled him in ❤

- Their first time in the place that had become theirs, a place where they were safe

- The sweet giggle they shared before they slept together

- Michael being Alex's hero again, by putting himself between Alex and his father and suffering the horrible consequences 😭

- 10 years went by and those feelings never changed

- Their first meeting outside of Michael's trailer, full of so much tension

- The reunion:

"Are you trying to hold my hand, Private?"

"Does the macho, cowboy swagger thing ever get old with you?"

"Did it get old for you?"

- THAT KISS - Michael watching Alex from the doorway (how long was he gazing at him??); the slow approach towards one another, all their walls dropped away because they were alone, the bedroom eyes they gave each other and the way that Michael pounced on Alex, releasing years of tension, longing and love in a single kiss ❤

- The forehead press (such a Malex thing)

- The way Michael's eyes opened as he watched Alex, who had his eyes still closed

- "Come on, Michael. Is there really nobody in this world that you would risk everything to save?" --- Michael looks at Alex ❤

- Let me reiterate - 10 years have gone by and those feelings haven't gone away

- The airstream exchange:

"Including the way you look at me. That's a problem for me, Guerin, because every time you look at me, I'm 17 again and I forget the last 10 years even happened. But then you look away and I remember all over again and it kills me, every time."

"I never look away. Not really" (seriously, who didn't cry at that?? Such a Malex thing again) ❤

- That smile on Alex's face when he looks up at Michael from the bed before Michael leans down

- The gentle tenderness they share in bed when Alex spends the night (before everything goes to shit)

- The nervousness Alex had approaching Michael at the drive-in, hoping for a date to make up for how things ended that morning (before everything really goes to shit)

- Michael admitting to Max "If you had been the reason Alex went to war, I would have hated you"

- "It's just him, you know? Screws me up" (Alex is not a glitch, Carina!!)

- Kyle pushing Alex to talk with Michael, realizing how much the Angry Cowboy means to him

- That beautiful talk outside his trailer - yes, it happened after Alex recognizes the necklace but he doesn't walk away (so important!) and he admits to Michael that they loved one another for a long time

- "Cosmic" -- enough said ❤

- That smile on Michael's face (per Vlamis, "In that moment, I loved him. More than anything in the world") 😭

- Their talk the next day by the fire pit, Michael letting his walls fall down and telling Alex details of his childhood (details he probably hadn't even revealed to Max or Isobel yet)

- Showing Alex his bunker

- "If anyone's going to destroy me, might as well be you" 😭

- Alex asking him to go to Caulfield "You do run hot, Guerin"

- Michael disliking the new closeness between Kyle and Alex

- "They're my family, Alex!"

"Alright, maybe. But you are mine!"

"What? No. You gotta go, Alex."

"I don't look away, Guerin." ❤

"No. Go! I don't love you! I don't! We've been holding onto this thing and what? It's gotten us nowhere. Just let go." 💔

"You're a miserable liar" ❤

* cue heartbreaking scene with Michael and his mom, beautiful song by Tyler playing in the background and Michael breaking down in Alex's arms (thoughts that came to mind were Epic, Cosmic, Soulmates, Endgame, M&M Who? etc.)

- Alex waiting for Michael in his trailer, telling him he shouldn't have left him behind when he enlisted but he wanted to be the type of person who won battles (in other words, he wanted to be good enough for Micheal)

- Michael telling Isobel "I love him. I probably always will" 😭

- Now let's pretend the last 10 minutes didn't happen. Everything was leading up to one particular end and it feels like the writers switched it up at the last second (maybe they knew they were being renewed and reshot the ending LOL wouldn't put it past the showrunner....)

So basically, Malex = ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Now let's remember M&M and the beauty of their relationship:

- They flirted in the bar

- Michael was there for her as a friend (I actually really liked this scene, but only as FRIENDS)

- He fixed her sign

- They had a drunken hookup in the desert

- He fixed her necklace

- Suddenly, Maria was torn about not being with Michael again and Michael was.....just weird

- More weirdness in episode 11

- Did I miss anything?

- Can't you feel the depth of love? How strong the feelings are?

So basically, M&M = Huh?

Maybe they intend to show more depth for them next season? 🤷‍♀️ But from what we've seen so far, there really is no comparison.

This is just the way I see it though! People are free to ship whoever they choose as long as there's no hate against any of the characters (ie. Alex because he's gay or Maria because whe's a WOC), and especially not against any of the actors/actresses

We can all hate the writers for shoving this storyline down our throats and as Malex fans, keep our fingers crossed for a quick and painless fix-it in season 2 🤞🤞🤞

Doubtful, but one can try and be positive?

Either way, Malex is endgame ❤

Until then, let's just bask in the glory of Tyler & Michael and be happy at how wonderful they are towards this ship

❤

[sunnycityshadypeople]

Defining Heartbreak: The Friendzone

I felt like writing and I guess could be a place to put it as it’s my only social media account where I have a bit more anonymity.    I feel hung over as fuck today, but noticed when I was articulating some deeper thoughts with someone that instantly felt better - so here goes with a story not of woe is me, but of the discovery I made about myself  Unrequited love over the years has reared it’s head a couple times.    In my early twenties, a guy I met online on Gaydar (is that site still a thing) - became a friend. I was actually his first gay friend and we hung out a lot.  We both went ot the same university and had one class that we both had in common - despite studying different degrees.   I thought he was super cute, intelligent and a catch - he had a certain confident swagger about him. Nothing sexual ever happened between us.   He then went overseas to live in France for a year - studying at the same university that the recently departed Kofi Annan.   Fast forward a year and over that time of missing him, I realised I had feelings for him and the cliche of distance only making the heart grow fonder certainly rung true.   When he finally returned to Australia, I was so happy to see him and a bunch of us hit the town together. A friend brought his rather cute pal along and joined me and my crush on a night out.   As it turns out, my friend’s cute pal ended up hooking up with my crush.  In a tree. IN A FUCKING TREE.  

I was crushed.      Like *spoiler alert* Captain America watching his best mate Bucky die or Tony Stark seeing a fading spiderman begging him not to go.   Yeah I was in my early 20s but it was defining moment of heartbreak. 

I dont remember how long after but I was moping around at my brother’s place and my sister was there.  She saw me dejected and withdrawn, asking me ‘what’s wrong?’ - I left out the front door and sat on the balcony and ugly cried.   And not the ugly crying I did when KFC stopped selling hot and spicy chicken, this was far far worse.  And a defining moment of heartbreak.  Sidebar:  I’ve always been a bit of a philosphical existentialist - mainly due to the the movie ‘The Matrix’.  The nature of reality fascinates me.    When I was 18, the philosphical book ‘The Celestine Prophecy’ came into my life... I actually ‘found’ the book on the street (I kid you not!) and it changed my life and the way I think abnd that’s where the true existentialist in me had an awakening. anyways. I’ve always been an introspective soul -- something perhaps most people I know don’t realise.  The cyclic nature of life (ok picture me holding my laptop up ala the Lion King pose as we sing the Circle of Life) - means that sometimes it feels like things repeat themselves.  I sometimes forget about the lessons that we need to learn and of course it came from another defining moment of heartbreak - this time in my mid 30′s.  I’d started chatting to this guy on a dating app mid 2016.    I thought he was super cute, intelligent and a catch - he had a certain confident swagger about him.   Feeling a sense of De ja vu?  No,it’s not a glitch in the matrix.    I tend to have a long lead time before I meet anyone online (I’m sure there’s a basis of fear of rejection in there but really are you that surprise after hearing that fucking sob story before!?) Anyways, we ran into each other at the gym and that was the first time we met.  We hung out a few times, and certainly these felt like dates.  We had a lot in common (and a lot in difference too), laughed alot and he was probably the first guy in a long time I met whose personality I loved.    He was witty at time cutting, his text game was super strong - but I’d usually own him face to face.   We’d spend our days jibing at each other trying to insult each other with memes (because Memes are life, right!?).  One time I was chatting to him via text -  describing a guy I used to like and how this dude and I had a lot common, was super nice... he replied to me ‘Kinda like us really?’  AND WHOA hold up this could be a romantasiced re-telling of my overthinking interpretation of a message - but that was sliding doors moment that would lead me to my next defining heartbreak.     I should have taken the bait.  But I was scared.  My absolute fear of rejection was scared to just tell this dude I like him - even if I was misconstrued in that message.    I do prefer voice messages over text because tone is a hard mother fucker to judge - thank god for emojis and ifs but still - just press that record button on whatsapp (He didnt’ like voice messages as he thought they were lazy) whereas I like to really convey my meaning.

Unless that meaning is ‘cue Madonna’ “IM CRAAAAZY FOR YOU TOUCH ME ONCE and you’ll know it’s truuuuue I never wanted anyone like this it’s all brand new... you’ll feel it in my kiss, you’ll feel it in my touch because I’m crazy for you - touch me once and you’ll know its’ true’

Anyways sorry about that Australian Idol gone Karaoke wrong moment. If you’ve fallen asleep reading this, you can thank me for the cure to insomnia later.  Ok, cut to the chase Jimbo - fast forward a year and half of being friends with someone you secretly love.  I use the term’ secretly’ loosely - because OMG was I just coming across as the love sick despo girl - random presents in his mailbox, being the nicest most supportive, generous friend - because hey, maybe he’ll come around if I kill him with kindness.  There’s an excellent article on being in the friendzone you should read by the way - I’ll talk about that later. I’m not going to go into details out of respect for this guy, but I knew inherently and the truth of the matter was no matter what I did or who I was - he was still on his Rupaul ‘can’t love nobody unless you love yourself’ journey.   So the harsh reality, and the ‘hes just not that into you’ vibes as espoused by Oprah back in the day meant this defining heartbreak was a bit different to the first.   I knew it was too far into the friendzone (never say never, but yeah let’s be real).. if it’s in the friendzone, they have to give you something that’ll finally get you into the endzone.  Anyways, I’d do anything for this guy.  Despite actually rationally speaking he didn’t tick some major core values for me.  It’s funny how attraction works.   A close friend who is a counsellor told me about ‘attachment styles’ (look it up, I wont digress more than I already have) - but essentially I was a major victim (of my own doing, because people don’t cause us to feel - we cause us to feel - think about that for a sec).. I was a major victim of treat em mean keep em keen. And I kept coming back for more.   I even tried weening myself off him by disengaging and that was great, but then we re-engaged. His was of re-engaging was sending me a message that said ‘Welfare Check’.  If it was me, I’d be like ‘Hey dude, I miss you! whats up!?’  The last time we saw each other was almost 2 months ago - nothing dramatic went down, but after not seeing the guy for a few weeks - he could only afford me about 40 minutes of his time.    It was a pleasant catch up but neither of us have communicated since.   He’s stubborn and I’m stubborn too.  But ulimately, it’s not healthy for me to love someone who doesn’t know what to do with my love.   And I look back at my own behaviour and do a major eyeroll because I really should save that stuff for someone who likes me back. That article I mentioned above - which I’ll post the link to - had a very simple suggestion and rule to avoid unrequited love and being in the friendzone. Only like somone who likes you back. OH MY FUCKING GOD REGINA YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME THAT A YEAR AND A HALF AGO! Anyways, I’ve had some amazing dates and met a couple awesome guys (there’s still a them of them not living in the same city as me but hey I can deal with that for the moment). I have a lot of love in my life and the love I give  is welcomed and I’m not feeling like I’m being treated as an afterthought.  I emphasis ‘feeling’ because the truth is, I may not be an afterthought to him.   But actions do speak louder than words, and his inaction has spoken to me.   That’s cool.   My love will always be there.   But in defining heartbreak, I defined myself and thank you for reading this I’d like to thank the academy and you for being you. You are loved. 

[leisurelypanda]

They had a week to spend together before school was due to start up. The day after Thor returned was spent much like the first, alternating between sex and sleep and the occasional break for other needs. When they weren’t having sex or sleeping, they talked. About random, nonsensical things like stars, celebrities, sea turtles, sports, and anything in between. Steve traced patterns onto Thor’s body as he listened to him reminisce about his summers playing rugby or soccer.

“Are you planning to tattoo my body, Steve?” Thor asked with a laugh. Steve chuckled. “Because if so, I’ve always wanted a dragon.”

“I could be tracing the dragon’s fire breath,” Steve mused. He could picture his boyfriend with a dragon tattoo. It could be pictured flying on his back with the tail coming up to curl around his bicep.

“Make it lightning,” Thor murmured. Steve looked up at him and grinned as he shook his head.

“Dragons don’t breathe lightning,” he said, laughing. “They breathe fire. Everyone knows that.”

“He’s special,” he said with a pout. “Stop bashing my dreams.”

Steve laughed and pressed a kiss to his pouty lips until Thor returned it. “Fine, I’ll make him with lightning,” he said. “Happy, you big baby?”

“Yes,” Thor with that big, dorky smile

“It would probably be easier to use your back with the dragon flying below and storm clouds on top,” Steve mused. “Or if he really needs to breathe lightning, it could be on one of your biceps and the head could go over your shoulder and breathe lightning across your chest.”

“Älskling, I was just joking,” Thor replied, an amused smile on his face. “But I like that idea. It sounds badass.”

Steve hummed and rested his head against Thor’s arm. His arm came to rest over his chest and started tracing circles on him. He suppressed a moan as Thor traced a finger around his nipple, close enough to be teasing. But they had just finished their latest round and Steve “the insatiable” was in the mood for a break.

“I’m thinking of getting a tattoo,” he said. Thor didn’t pause, but he hummed.

“What kind?” he asked.

“I was thinking of getting one of Michael,” he said.

“Who’s Michael?” Thor asked, a bit sharply. Steve chuckled. He’s jealous, he thought to himself. He laughed again. “What’s so funny?”

“Michael is an archangel,” Steve explained. “I remember that much from Sunday school. Anyway, he’s supposed to fight the devil or he may have kicked him out of heaven or something.”

“Sounds impressive,” Thor said, noncommittally. “Where would you put him?”

“On my rib cage,” he replied. “Over the… the scars there. He’d have a shield and sword and be holding down a snake.”

“Why a snake? Sorry to ask, but I do not know much about Christian stuff,” he said.

“It’s fine, I don’t know much more than you do. It’s supposed to represent the devil or something,” Steve said. Thor hummed.

“What about the other scars?” Thor asked.

“I haven’t decided yet,” Steve said. “But I want to do something to like, leave them in the past, or something.”

“I understand,” Thor said.

“You don’t mind?” Steve asked.

“Steve, it is your body,” Thor said, kissing him. “If it makes you feel good, I am happy. Besides, tattoos are sexy.”

Steve laughed and kissed him again. Thor grinned against his lips and rolled over on top of him. Steve sighed as he felt his lover start to harden against his thigh.

“Who’s insatiable now?” Steve asked. Thor silenced him by nipping at his ear.

“We can stop if you really want,” Thor whispered.

“Don’t you dare,” Steve replied. -------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first week of school came as all returns to school do. With rowdy kids and tired teachers alike wishing that the break had lasted longer than it did. If there was a sympathetic bone in any of the teachers who taught the Advanced Placement classes, they made no appearance. Even Ms. Foster gave a small mountain of lab reports after she was finished going over the syllabus for the rest of the year. Steve was starting to wonder if he was going to have to sell some of his soul to the devil in order to actually survive the school year.

By the end of the week, however, everyone had survived. No major catastrophes had occurred and outside of having plain old, regular anxiety, Steve was doing pretty well. He would take regular anxiety over the all-consuming terror that visited regularly any day. So that Friday, he and Thor decided to stay for the Gay-Straight Alliance meeting. It was a decently sized club. There was some show of Tony, the president (because of course he was) announcing the plans for the upcoming week, which apparently included karaoke night at a local teen bar. Steve wasn’t sure about it, especially when Thor announced that he wanted to go. He made a mental note to bring earplugs.

Aside from the itinerary, the meeting was mostly a time for just hanging out and catching up after the break. Tony ducked out as soon as his part was done to get to auditions for some Shakespearean play that Steve couldn’t remember the name of. Steve and Thor were hanging out by one of the lab tables when a new face appeared.

“Um, excuse me,” she said, she held out her hand timidly. “I am Wanda. Wanda Maximoff. I’m an… exchange student.”

Steve saw Thor’s eyes light up at her voice. He said something in German. Steve didn’t know anything about the language, but he could recognize the question when he heard it. Wanda’s eyes lit up and they launched into a conversation that Steve couldn’t follow if his life depended on it. He awkwardly sipped his punch, feeling a bit like a third wheel. But he figured Thor was trying to make her feel welcome. They had that bit about being from different countries in common, after all.

“This is Steve,” Thor said as he suddenly switched to English. “My boyfriend. He’s an artist.”

Steve blushed a little (a lot) at the pride in his voice. “It’s nice to meet you, Wanda,” he said. Her eyes widened even further as she regarded him.

“What do you do?” she asked. “I mostly play the guitar and violin, mainly, but I also am a photographer.”

“That’s quite a combination,” Steve said, chuckling. “I just sketch with colored pencils. Nothing fancy.”

“Älskling, you are too modest, as always,” Thor replied.

Steve blushed and moved to hide his face in his cup. Thor just laughed.

“So Wanda,” he asked. “Where are you from? Your English and German are very good.”

“Romania,” she said. “What about you?”

“Sweden,” Thor replied. “It is good to meet another European. Americans only speak English and it gets dull after a while.”

“Hey!” Steve protested. “I took 3 years of Spanish.”

Thor scoffed, giving him a sidelong look. “And how much of that do you remember?” he asked.

“Not a word,” he admitted.

“See? You can’t learn a language just in a classroom,” Thor replied. “The best way to learn a language is to use it in real life.”

“Do not worry Steve,” Wanda said with a glint of mirth in her eyes. “It’s not too late to learn.”

“I could teach you Swedish,” Thor said. Wanda made a face.

“Are you crazy?” she demanded. “Teach him German first, it’s more useful.”

She waved a boy over who looked to be the same age as her. He had warm brown eyes and he walked with a swagger in his step, cocky and self-assured. He had wavy blond hair that was dark at the roots as opposed to her straight brown. For some reason he reminded Steve of Bucky, just a little bit. He said something to her in a language he didn’t recognize, but he figured it was Romanian.

“This is my brother, Pietro,” she said. “Pietro this is Thor and his boyfriend, Steve.”

“Good to meet you,” Steve said, shaking his hand. “How are you finding New York?”

“It is incredible,” he replied with a smile. “You have everything here. In Romania, we lived in Bucharest and it is beautiful, but New York is incredible.”

Steve felt a small amount of pride that the city he called his home measured up to some old European cities. He always imagined that the architecture in old European cities must make New York look like a sprawling, if modern, mess. He imagined it was like walking into the past. His city was amazing and not everything was so modern, but it definitely seemed younger.

“I have always wanted to see Bucharest,” Thor replied with a smile. “I want to take a tour of Europe someday and see everything.”

“It is a beautiful city,” Wanda agreed. The three of them began talking and debating the various cities in continental Europe, where they most wanted to go. Steve interjected every now and then about where he would want to go if he had the chance, but aside from that he felt like there wasn’t much to say. He had been in one place all his life, aside from occasional trips to New Jersey or Philadelphia. He became uncomfortably aware of how well travelled this group was in comparison to him.

His awkwardness was interrupted by Ms. Foster making an announcement that the club meeting was over since the school was closing.

“Everyone, don’t forget that we have the charity karaoke night for the Trevor Project coming up next week,” she said. “We hope to see you all there. It’s gonna be a great night!”

“Steve, we have to go,” Thor said. “It’s going to be so much fun!”

Steve made a valiant effort to say no, but faced with such childlike enthusiasm made it difficult. Thor was actually excited to do this and it was hard to deny him. He would just have to take earplugs and hope that whatever Thor decided to sing, it wouldn’t be too loud. Or maybe he could get the bar to turn up the music to drown him out without everyone going deaf. Not likely, but possible.

“You and Pietro have to come as well,” Thor continued. “It will be a night to remember!”

“I would love to go,” Wanda replied smiling. “We have nothing planned that night.”

Thor turned to Steve with his eyes wide and brimming with excitement, making Steve smile in spite of himself. He couldn’t resist him when he looked like that, not when it was about rollercoasters or apparently karaoke.

“Yes, I’ll go,” he sighed. “But only cause you’re cute.”

Thor beamed and pressed a kiss to his temple. Steve grumbled something about him being a big baby as he hid his blushing face. He was looking forward to going out with him and the new kids from Romania. If only Bucky could see him now, making friend with international students and slowly but surely coming out of the shell he had been in for so many years. They got to the front of the school and he saw his mom and Mr. Baker chatting together as they waited to pick up their respective boys.

“You’re still coming over tomorrow, right?” Thor asked. “To study.”

“Yeah, you bet,” Steve said. Thor smiled and kissed him lightly.

“I hope your appointment with Dr. Erskine goes well,” Thor said as he headed towards his car. -------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dr. Erskine was as warm and welcoming as always. Steve relayed how his holidays had gone, how he had coped with Thor leaving for Sweden for a while, how he felt about that. He talked about how he was making new friends and how different his life seemed so different now than it was last year.

“And how has your anxiety been since we last saw each other?” Dr. Erskine asked.

“I’ve been having a good time of it lately,” he said. “It’s there, but it seems more manageable now. I still have panic attacks, but they’re less frequent than before.”

Dr. Erskine smiled and nodded. “Well, in light of that, how would you feel about coming off the medication entirely?”

Steve paused. It was true, they had been gradually reducing his medication from when he first started the treatment for his disorder and he knew that getting off the meds entirely was always the goal, but he was still unsure about what that would mean for him now.

“I don’t know,” he answered. “I’ve been on meds in some form or fashion for so long that I’m not sure how to feel.”

“Your ability to function has improved greatly since we’ve been working together,” Dr. Erskine said. “I remember when you came in a couple months ago and you were convinced that you were not making any progress. But today you tell me that your life is much easier now than it was before.”

“But what if I’m not ready?” Steve asked.

“Nothing need be decided now,” his counselor said. “But it is something to discuss with your doctor. The decision is yours.”

He walked out of his session feeling more anxious than he had going in. That Dr. Erskine believed that he could do it was a small comfort, but he was still nervous about actually going off his meds. Who knew if it would last, if he would be able to function at all. Theoretically, he wanted to be able to function like a normal person. But at the same time, this had been part of his life for so long. Who would he be if it worked? Would it get worse and he’d have to go back on? Would he be fine? How long would it take to figure out what life was like for him? What if he started having more panic attacks? What if he wasn’t as in control as he thought he was? Whatever happened, his life was about to change. -------------------------------------------------------------------------

Unfortunately, Steve had little time to adjust to this news. Bucky was returning to Penn State today. This time, Thor came with him to the station to help him see Bucky off. Thor followed them into a fast food joint where they killed time until Bucky’s train was ready for boarding. Apparently it was tradition at this point for the two of them to hang out eating burgers until he left, so he joined in. They weren’t that bad considering the fact that it was a fast food place.

“Ugh, I don’t want to go back, Steve,” Bucky said, hanging his head. “Why did you let me go to Penn State anyway?”

“Football scholarship,” Steve replied. “Besides, you’re starting your kinesiology major this semester! Aren’t you excited?”

“Sure,” Bucky said hesitantly. “I don’t know, I guess I’m just worried I’m gonna suck.”

“That kind of attitude is gonna bite you in the ass someday,” Steve said.

Bucky grinned. “Someone should,” he replied. “It’s a nice ass.”

Steve snorted his drink and erupted into a horrible coughing fit. Thor couldn’t help but laugh at the top of his lungs as his boyfriend doubled over, trying to clean off his face and shirt from the soda. Bucky was laughing his head off, too. Steve glared at both of them.

“I hate you,” he declared. “Both of you. I’m not gonna miss you at all.”

“Oh come on, Stevie,” Bucky said. “You know you love me. And you’re never gonna stay mad at Thor.”

“Nope, we’re done,” Steve said adamantly. “I’m hooking up with Loki and Tony now.”

“Well, just as forewarning,” Bucky said. “You’re gonna in for some crazy stuff and it’s gonna last all night long.”

“I did not need to know that about them,” Thor groaned. “It’s bad enough that they’re all over each other in public, I do not need to know what they get up to in private.”

“Why?” Steve asked. Thor almost groaned. Bucky got a wicked gleam in his eye.

“Tell me, Stevie,” he said. “Do you know what a dom is?”

This time Thor snorted into his drink. Baldr must have not approved of his laughing at his lover’s expense or something. Or perhaps Loki’s namesake was messing with him. Or perhaps his brother set his namesake on him out of spite or just because he was bored.

“What’s a dom?” Steve asked, pointedly ignoring Thor’s plight. Dear gods, do not let Bucky tell my sweet, innocent boyfriend this, Thor prayed silently.

“Maybe Thor will tell you,” Bucky said with a wink. “If you ask nicely.”

Steve looked at him expectantly and gasped as Thor actually blushed about as red as Steve did at the drop of a hat. Both of them started laughing at them. A god was definitely out to get him today, but this was one subject that Thor was pretty sure Steve was not ready for. Best to let this be.

“I’ll tell you when you’re older,” he replied. Steve rolled his eyes while Bucky snickered and Thor thanked the gods that neither of them pressed the issue.

The rest of the their brief time together was spent rehashing old stories from before Thor knew Steve. He gained a newfound respect for his little lover after hearing about some of the shenanigans he and Bucky got up to over the years. Most of it was normal teenager stuff like sneaking into an R rated movie or something. But then there was the story about how Bucky had dared Steve to graffiti the back of a restaurant in Brooklyn.

“We almost got arrested, Buck,” Steve said, flushed with a smile on his face. “That was a terrible idea.”

“Dude, it was worth it to see you draw a giant dick on that wall,” Bucky cried. The corners of Thor’s mouth crept up in a smile at the thought.

“You little hellion,” he said, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “Tell me this place is still around, I want to see it.”

“Really?” Steve asked.

“It got scrubbed clean,” Bucky said, fishing his phone out of his pockets. “But I have a picture.”

Sure enough, there was a picture of a big, blue penis on the side of a building and another picture of Steve putting it there. Thor laughed at it for longer than was strictly necessary, but the thought of his tight-laced boyfriend tagging buildings was just too much.

“Just think of what your dad would say if he only knew,” Steve said with a grin. “His opinion of me would drop through the floor.”

“I think it’s a bit late for that,” Thor said with a twinge of regret. His father’s irrational opposition to his relationship with Steve was still a bit of a sore spot.

Shortly after this story they made their way to the terminal where Bucky would leave to get on his train. Thor could tell that Steve was saddened by it. He squeezed his hand comfortingly. When they arrived, Steve practically tackled his friend in a hug, much in the same way that he had when Thor returned from Sweden a couple weeks ago. He felt a faint bit of jealousy as he watched Bucky’s arms wrap around his lover. He suppressed it immediately. Steve was allowed to have close friends. The gods knew that he had few enough of them without Thor getting territorial whenever he wanted to show some kind of affection with them.

“I’ll miss you,” he heard his lover say. Bucky closed his eyes and hugged him a little tighter. Curious, Thor thought to himself.

“Yeah, I’ll miss you too, you punk,” Bucky replied. “I’ll text you when I get back.”

“You’d better, you jerk.”

Bucky walked off with his bags and waved one last time before disappearing through the terminal. Steve stood there, laced his fingers together with Thor’s and squeezed. Thor returned the gesture, trying his best to comfort his lover.

“It’s silly, isn’t it?” Steve said. “I keep thinking it’ll be easier next time, watching him leave. And I have more friends now and everything and it’s still hard to see him leave.”

“He is your best friend,” Thor replied softly. “It is not silly in the slightest. I miss my friends every time I leave Sweden.”

“I’ve never asked about your friends in Sweden,” Steve said.

“We are all part of a little pagan community there,” Thor explained. “You would like them. You are as brave and fierce as any of them.”

Steve was silent for a moment. Thor couldn’t tell what was going through his mind, whether he was sad or afraid or just thinking. He refrained from asking. Then, Steve started walking in the direction of the subway silently.

“Thank you for coming,” he said as they waited for the train. Thor squeezed his hand again and smiled down at him.

“Anytime,” he replied. “I just wish I had more time to get to know him.”

“Why’s that?” Steve asked, genuinely curious.

“He is your best friend,” Thor said. “And he seems a good man. I like him.”

“You played football together,” Steve pointed out.

“But we never really hung out outside of that,” Thor countered. “I do not know much about him beyond his athletic ability.”

Steve was silent for a moment. “Bucky’s coming back for spring break in March,” he said. “Maybe we can all hang out sometime.”

Thor smiled down at him. “I would like that.” -------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bucky turned around as he was leaving to steal one final glance at Steve. He was walking away, hand in hand with Thor, whom Bucky had once had a crush on in between dealing with his feelings for Steve. But since Thor never really responded to anything Bucky had done, he gave up eventually.

He tried not to feel bitter that they had ended up together as soon as he left. Sometimes it was easy, like when they were all laughing together or hanging out. Sometimes… not so much. Sometimes Bucky had to remind himself that he might have what he wanted if he had just had the nerve to say something.

But they were happy together. He couldn’t say something now. However much he might want to be with Steve, or Thor, Bucky cared more about their happiness. Bucky would just mope on the train ride back to Pennsylvania and try to get that out of his system by the time he met his friends at college. It always felt a little like running away or disappearing when he left Brooklyn for Penn State. It always came with a mix of sadness and relief. Bucky could forget his relationship troubles there, throw himself into football practice or schoolwork.

Who knows? he thought. Maybe Nat’s right. Maybe something might still come of it.

Bucky tried to hold onto that hope as he turned around and headed for the train. Nat was usually right about these things. Hell, that was how she and Clint got together and they were as good a couple as Steve and Thor. He got on the train, grabbed a seat, put his earphones in, and turned up some music. Bucky had a few hours to sulk before his stop. He intended to make use of it.

[zefurrwrites-blog]

Gym Rat

A story done for Daze

Link: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/25442532/

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Gym Rat

By: Zefurr

Matt was never really a “fit” guy. He bordered the edge of average and overweight for most of his life. It never really bothered him up until now. He was gonna be in college next year and wanted to make a change before then. At 19 years old, he made a resolution to finally hit the gym and get in shape. Unfortunately for him, the nearest gym was nearly half an hour away and he didn’t want to make that trek. A sense of failure came upon him as he realized the year had nearly come to a close and he had yet to accomplish his goal. Driving home from work one day, he looked out the window at a red light. The name “4 Hour Fitness” caught his eye in big bold, red letters. Matt was curious how he had never noticed the building before, but he rarely took that route home from work. He decided to check the place out tomorrow. The next day he came to work with his gym bag and a change of clothes. He was eager to finally start on his fitness goal. The work day came and went and afterwards, he changed in the bathroom before going the same route home. When he got to the same light, he made the right into the shopping complex and parked outside the massive white building. Grabbing his workout bag from the back seat, Matt locked his car door and headed in. The inside was just as impressive as outside. Lane after lane of workout equipment lined the room with regular in various stages of their routines. Surprisingly though, Matt could only see men. “Can I help you sir?” boomed a voice from behind him. Startled, Matt jumped before facing the jacked worker that stood there. The guy’s nametag read Andrew. “Uhm, oh, I guess I’m interested in a membership” Matt said meekly. Andrew looks him over briefly before grinning. “Sure thing, just follow me to the front desk to fill out some paperwork” he said. It didn’t take long to fill everything out the membership fee was pretty inexpensive if Matt thought so himself. He even got his own locker for the locker room. Matt paid for a padlock his number, which was 153, towards the showers. He wasn’t complaining though, being gay himself. After putting his bag in the room and grabbing his water bottle he headed back out the common area. He used the gym’s water fountain to fill it up. Then, he began his workout by stretching in the yoga room. Matt didn’t want to pull anything half way into his workout so he made sure to stretch thoroughly. He had an app on his phone that would tell him what workouts to do on what day. It would be really useful especially since it broke it down into the different body parts he can choose to exercise that day. After mulling it over for a while he decided his day one workout would be on his legs. “First day?” came a voice in front of him. He looked up to see a handsome guy around his age. Buzz cut blonde hair clung to head and brown, friendly eyes stared him down. “Yeah, how’d you know?” Matt answered. “I’m a trainer here. I pretty much know all the regulars” he said. The man threw a towel over his shoulder and held out his hand. “The names Lucas” the man said holding out his hand. Matt fumbled with his phone and water bottle before stretching out his own hand to shake. “Matt” he told him. “Well Matt, I have a client to meet but hope I see you round” he said before exiting the yoga room. Now left to his devices, Matt pulled out some headphones to plug his ears as he worked out. The stretching from earlier made Matt feel more nimble as he went through his exercises. He decided to end his workout that day on the bikes. He did two miles on it before stopping for the day. Matt hit the showers semi glad there was no one else there at the moment. He felt a bit self-conscious still about people seeing him. After grabbing his car keys from his bag he headed out the gym after waving goodbye to Andrew at the desk. “Oh, he’ll do nicely” Andrew said to Lucas. *** Matt started going to gym regularly after that. He’d go almost every day after work. He got into the routine of working out a different part of himself every time he went. As he looked at himself in the mirror one night, he smiled at his reflection. All his hard work was finally paying off. There was some definition building all over him. He even managed to burn some of the fat off. Invigorated by his progress, Matt decided to up the ante. He started going to 4 Hour Fitness daily. Sometime he’d even go twice a day. After a while, he started calling in sick just to increase his workout time. All the working out went to not only his body, but he head. His confidence improved, he gained a swagger in his step, but also becoming quite cocky. All the while his progress was being observed his Andrew and Lucas as the two saw enough of it to put their plan into motion. The next day Matt showed up to the gym there was a table next to the front desk. Lucas was there handing out something to the other gym goers. “What’s all this?” he asked the man as he approached. “New gym promotional item for this month” “What are they?” Matt said picking up one of the bars. “They’re energy bars. 4 Hour Energy from 4 Hour Fitness” Lucas explained with a charming smile. “And they’re…free?” Matt asked looking over the contents. “Yep, totally free. Take as many as you like. Our treat for the continued support” Lucas replied. Matt wasn’t about to pass up a treat that’ll increase his workout time. He took a couple of the energy bars, thanked Lucas and headed for the locker rooms. All the while Lucas smiled knowingly. As he stuffed his bag into his locker, Matt took a bite out of the energy bar. It was sweet, tangy, with a slightly cheesy aftertaste. “Not bad” he said to himself as he took another bite. As he undressed he felt a stirring in his groin. He finished off the first bar starting on the second. All the while his shaft growing harder within the confines of his underwear. A lustful haze filling Matt’s mind as he continued to ear. His underwear was stretching out around his growing appendage but also sagging. Unbeknownst to Matt, his balls were swelling up obscenely. They were from their normal size to the size of kiwis, then oranges. Matt let out a moan that broke off into some sort of hiccup squeak hybrid. The sheer weight of his new testicles made his underwear drop beneath his legs. A pungent musky scent filled the already stale air of the locker room. Matt took a deep whiff of the scent growing more aroused by the second. His nose inflated and became more bulbous the more breaths he took in. A patch of skin started forming around his groin. It crept up his dick which retreated slightly inside. Taking the changing shaft in hand, Matt couldn’t help but start pumping it as his seed churned inside his newly massive balls. As he pumped his dick, Matt’s shaft brightened more and more in color. It went from its normal pink to a bright red color. The tip of his shaft losing its mushroom head as it tapered off into a point. “Ohhh fuuuuck” Matt groaned oblivious to the changes happening to him. The half-eaten energy bar hung loose in his free hand. It dropped to the ground and he lifted his newly freed hand to tweak his hardening nipples. The socks clinging to Matt’s feet ripped open as his nails stretched out in length. His sense of balance shifted as his sole of his foot elongated and his heel rose giving him a digitigrade stance. Matt’s toes also stretched out longer along with his nails becoming more prehensile as his big toes shrunk away slightly. Matt’s newly defined abs were becoming lost in a sea of growing grey fur. Grey fur that contrasted with the pinkish hue coloring on his feet and nose. All the while Matt continued to work his changed shaft. His grunts and moans became louder. With no underwear standing in the way, Matt’s tailbone had no obstacle to overcome as it rapidly grew out. The pink segmented appendage whipping as it grew to full length. The man moaned at that feeling like he had a second erection then. Matt subconsciously flexed his new tail as the change settled into place. The fur climbed down his torso joining the bush of fur around his sheath. It continued spreading stopping short of Matt’s elongated feet. The hand pumping his shaft also lightened into the same pink hue that covered the epithelial portions of his body. His nails grew out into sharp claws perfect for climbing. Matt felt himself coming closer to the edge and speed up his efforts. As the fur reached his chin, he felt his mouth pull away from his face. His nose speeding up the join the body part forming into a muzzle. As the muzzle stretched so did his teeth. His top and bottom teeth bucked out forming chompers perfect for chewing through things. Matt felt a tingling in his ears as they grew flopped over slightly before stretching out wider. He briefly lost his sense of hearing as they migrated further up his head resting on the patch of fur that used to be his hair. His hearing came back as the new receptors settled into place. The newly changed rat felt himself reach his limit and he came with a loud moan that broke off into a squeak. Cum splashed across the wooden bench in front of him but that too changed. His cum became paler and muskier as the color changed to an off yellow. Mike was breathing heavy from the exertion after that. His tongue rolling out the side of his mouth as unfocused eyes stared down at his new body. “What a sexy gym rat you turned out to be” said a familiar voice. Andrew strolled in followed by Lucas. The two men having gone through transformations of their own. The two rats stood naked with wispy tails flicking behind them and mischievous grins. “We hope you like your new form” Lucas said with swirling eyes. “I like my new form” Matt repeatedly monotony. “Don’t forget to tell a friend.” “I will tell a friend” he repeated “Good boy.” The three rats indulged in the empty locker room into the late hours of the night. END