#bruabba and gyjo..... the real ones

[silly-l1ttle-guy]

silly little guy's list of stinky ships

Fugio

fucking love fugio

giorno x fugo for life

calm bf and angry bf

ending of phf pretty gay too

2. Bruabba

perfect for eachother

bruabba holds a special place in my heart

bruno x abbacchio

depressed goth and the tired dad who keeps him stable

3. Caejose

one of the first ships i really liked

caesar x joseph

training wasn't the ONLY thing they did together

hotheaded bf and airheaded bf

4. josuyasu

another one of the first ships I really got into

josuke x okuyasu

probably too shy to kiss each other

love these guys

5. avpol

avdol x polnareff

just look at them

gorgeous dark skinned man and his weird ass pale shrimp bf

i love au's where they live together with iggy

6. jonaeriwagon

i've never seen fanart of this ship that isn't adorable

jonathan x erina x speedwagon

gentle giant husband, kind wife, and their anxious bf

great ship

7. esikars

esidisi x kars

idk what to tell you lmao

they raised two kids together without any help, there's no way something gay isn't going on there

proud and egotistical bastard and his goofy ass bf

8. yasugap

yasuho x josuk8/gappy

they're perfect for each other

i haven't read part 8 yet but from what i know, they're the only thing that matters

silly pretty girl and her confused dumbass bf

9. jolymes

jolyne x hermes

i love lesbians i wish they were real

bad bitch x bad bitch

they have the exact same thought process

10. gyjo

gyro x johnny

fruity italian and his twink american bf

i love this ship it's so cute

olive garden

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HONERABLE MENTIONS:

weathersui (weather x anasui)

dionilla (dio x vanilla ice)

caejoseQ (caesar x joseph x suzi)

whamseph (wamuu x joseph)

jotakak (jotaro x kakyoin)

dinopants (diego x hot pants)

pucci x jotaro (purely for shits and giggles)

jolsui (jolyne x anasui)

naramis (narancia x mista)

kiranobu (kira x shinobu)

jotahan (also shits and giggles, jotaro x rohan)

melghia (melone x ghiaccio)

sillywagon (silly little guy x speedwagon) (THIS IS A JOKE)

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fugio real

[thricedead]

This is going to sound like CRAZY armchair psyhchology crap but without exaggeration I think that Jojos Bizarre Adventure part 7: Steel Ball Run can be used to agitate and observe latent homosexual (and Id even go as ar as to say submissive) desires in cisgender heterosexual identifying men. I have attentively studied this in real life and here are the results of my research.

In a real bad phase of my life, I hung around about 4 or 5 men (all but one identified as cishet, one identified as bisexual) who liked Jojos Bizarre Adventure. Weirdly, ALL 5 of these men named Steel Ball Run as either their parsonally favorite part, or the part they perceived to be objectively highest quality. This baffled me a lot, because while me and my female and transmasc friends enjoyed Steel Ball Run to varying degrees, and it does differ from the previous parts by making a jump from shounen to seinen which affected the story dynamics and maturity, its not really too perfect. However, none of the cis men I interviewed brought this up directly in their reasoning of why they value SBR so much. They each listed a different reason, and those were:

Heterosexual men: Villain has a more interesting and realistic ideology (nationalism) than the previous villains whise goals were cliched (a greed for power, stability, revenge). The story is about a journey, they enjoy this because it makes the pacing dynamic and builds up expectations for the goal (however this was also a case in part 3, and the man who said this does not particularly enjoy part 3). The stakes feel high and you can really sympathize with Johnny because he is trying to improve his own life, he enjoys how selfish Johnny is (but this is also the case in part 5 protagonist Giorno, who is very self centered and goal oriented in the same vein)

Bisexual man: he listed some of the reasons above, but also noted that he enjoys how the relationship between the male protags easily reads as romantic even though he didnt put too great a focus on this

When the bisexual man brought this up, it prompted me to compare the relationship between Gyro and Johnny to the other popular ships in the Jojo fandom (most of them enjoying a LOT more popularity and fan content than Gyro/Johnny) and I feel like the difference is in hmm lets say. Gyro being the first "Jobro" in the saga to play a central, extremely tangible and also multiple role in Johnnys life/arc. This isnt of much consequence to a person whos in Jojo for shipping, bc since they are approaching with predetermination to find ship content, that content is more easily squeezed out of a pair who has some fun and memorable scenes like Avpol n Bruabba, than Gyjo who do not really share much in the way of memorable oneliners and comedic gay framing, but instead sort of more subtly complete each others arcs. I feel like this sort of a dynamic appeals to cishet men because it is one of DEEP malemale affection (it really is just fondness and affection that is hard to misread as just admiration at the others strength/character. Johnny having the discomforting emotional realization that he is prepared to sacrifice his goal of curing his disability and proving himself to his father in order to stay with Gyro is a prominent topic n conflict in SBR. Gyros death is the SOLE death of a companion in JJBA [and there are many] to which the protagonist responds not with vengeful rage but by breaking down into pathetic, emasculating tears, and making a naive blunder that causes the antagonist to overpower him. Even once Johnny does turn the tables, its notable that he is underwhelmed and unsatisfied once he fulfills his goals of walking and making his father clap for him, with sorrow at the loss of Gyro taking precedence. The last scene in the entire story is Johnny setting sail to return Gyros corpse to his homeland, assuming a much more pacified and mature disposition than before and telling Gyro "Let's go home" as he leaves his own homeland. Also, the series of chapters where Gyro dies is called "break my heart, break your heart" with covers featuring a sobbing Johnny with the ghost of Gyro lol). This is the most heavily established and emotionally weighty Jojo/Jobro relationships, and unlike some others, it is never put on a shameful pedestal of being a "gay gag" like many other moments of perceived homosexuality in Jojo that are heavily framed as jokes or oddities. Because of this, I feel that the cishet men reading SBR are able to get "into" this relationship between men because it isnt ever acknowledged as a relationship that crosses the boundaries of "appropriate" malemale friendship, even though it does so for the established world of Jojo.

Because they can indulge in and identify within the duo of Gyro and Johnny without feeling like thats "gay", the men I observed and interviewed allowed themselves to get emotionally invested in the concept of cohabitation and affection with a man eithout even realizing theyre doing so. Most of these men vehemently denied that Johnny and Gyro are gay, but even so, they admitted (whether explicitly or implicitly) to being drawn to it as a dynamic they havent been invested into previously (bc they dont want either anything explicitly gay nor something that caters primarily to women bc they are misogynists). Two men were even able to jokingly agree that Gyro plays something akin to a "manic pixie dream girl" role to Johnny, being a deus ex machina attractive companion who turns Johnnys world upside down, gives him a goal, helps to affirm him, makes him laugh and encourages him etc. And ultimately sacrifices himself for Johnnys sake, and becomes his motivation beyond death to defeat the villain, Johnnys "man pain". Despite playing this role traditionally reserved for disposable female characters, Gyro is not really distinctly effeminate in the world of Jojo, and also plays the much more "appropriate" roles of being Johnny's mentor in mastering the power of Spin, a powerful fighter in his own right, and a male travel companion who tells tales of his trysts with women and dirty jokes and so on. Because Gyro embodies many roles, both that of a yet nonexistant woman in Johnnys life (Johnny goes on to have a heterosexual marriage, yes, but only once he's avenged and likely set Gyro to rest) AND of a man, he is safe and appropriate for these cishet men to be drawn to. When asked why they like Gyro, they can always say something like "he's funny, he's powerful, he's resourceful" etc. A MAJOR dimension of his character which is being Johnny's "heroine" is noticed and internalized, but it doesn't have to be acknowledged, and thus exists without threatening the cisheterosexuality of the male reader.

Here comes the "reach" part, but despite embodying the "heroine" role, Gyro is the older, physically and emotionally "larger" and more assertive of the two men. He habitually passes "lessons" onto Johnny and is shown to be pretty "macho" (implicitly dominant) in his pursuit of women. He is also Italian <- kind of relevant in my head because at least here Italian men are stereotyped as pushy and demanding lovers LOL. So like. I feel that there's something really really telling in these specific (and maybe other but who knows) men who all pursue very traditionally cisheteropatriarchal relationships IRL in which they expect to financially and emotionally (to a degree where this is expected of a man) provide for their female partners to feel drawn to the character of Gyro (in the way of admiration rather than projection). Because I don't really think any of them envisions themselves uprooting the dynamic Johnny has with Gyro (in the hypothetical case of meeting Gyro lmao), I think they'd all want to be his little male friend mentee and learn Spin from him and well what happens in the tent stays in the tent but I don't think they're calling the shots if you get me. (Gestures vaguely) If the men I spoke to, being attached to Jojo to the degree they were, didn't have a single weird dream about being manhandled by Gyro call me Mucius Scaevola and I'll put my right hand into an open flame.

TLDR we all know men are emotionally stunted AF and crave malemale closeness but won't reach out for it bc they don't want to be gay and I don't really pity them or care about them but it's kind of reallyreallyreally funny seeing a cishet guy literally running a fever from his hardon for a jacked Italian superman to take him on a journey of self-discovery, fuck him in the ass and die for him without even realizing what he is going through and why he likes the comic so much lol. Let them simmer, don't tell them what they're experiencing and why it's their fault, it's really funny. Unless you're a girl who wants to top her bf reaaally badly then make him read SBR and buy a hat.

If you read this far and still don't trust me on the framing of Gyro and think it's just typical shounen stuff, look carefully at the framing of these chapter/volume covers. My special note is that this is not supposed to pander to women, because Araki has given a whole interview to a really pushy fujoshi fan during SBR's run and was kind of extremely surprised and unsettled (sometimes rightfully bc the woman was an incest pedo shipper um) at the idea that women read malemale Jojo relationships as homosexual and enjoy this. It's just that Araki also really wants to get fucked by a jacked Italian man and is drawing this shit for himself and other men which is kind of really really funny to witness from the outside omfg.

[renemesis]

also youknow what not just dinopants tell me every thing. Every opinion ever. and as a special booler treat do caejose too

UMMMM UMM UM. (<-guy who forgors so easy) SPEED ROUND (excluding caejose)

Jonadio - BAD 0/10

JonaErina - GREAT 10/10

JonaSpeed - GREAT 10/10

JonaErinaSpeed - well ummm. Grins 10/10

Jose+any Pillar Man - meh. 3/10

JoseSuzie - she can do better 5/10

JotaKak - overdone and heavily stereotyped 4/10

Avdpol - underdone and underappreciated 8/10

Oldse+anyone - that old man does NOT fuck. 0/10

Dio+anyone - EAT SHIT. HE DOESN'T FUCK HE DOESNTTTTT 000000/10

JosuOku - SOS CUTE 10/10

KoiYuka - Killing stalking for straight jojo fans 3/10

Rohan+anyone - that gay man does NOT fuck. 0/10

Kira <- kira ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ tehhee

Giorno+anyone (excluding like trish. And fugo maybe.) - That's a little guy. Come on. 0/10

Bruabba - They need sooo much therapy. Both separately and together... 6/10

JolErmes - CUTE. GOD BLESS 10/10

AnaJol - No ♡ 0/10

Oldtaro+anyone - that old man.... hm. No he doesn't fuck. 0/10

Gyjo - Man these dudes were just like actually gay. Come on. Brokeback mountain shit going on here. 10/10

Dinopants - 10/10.

Lucy+anyone - DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE 0/10

Ummm if I missed a ship. Sorreey

OH INDEPTH CAEJOSE. OK UMMM I wouldnt say they're enemies to lovers more like rivals who developed an extremely powerful and meaningful bond with one another and despite their fighting with eachother they would die for eachother too. Sniffles. Caesar is like the only bitch willing to put up with Joseph and that is just honestly real love. TBH. 10/10

Sorry if I forgor a ship. Send me an ask abt it lawl 👍

[corpsoir]

because i’m curious and 100% normal, what are your thoughts on other other jjba relationships? (romantic, platonic, familial- i want your hot takes)

ooh boy HEHEHE people are gonna hate me for this but like. i genuinely think the majority of jjba ships are overrated or just boring lol. i think okuyasu and josuke can be pretty sweet but like. i view them as mostly platonic with maybe a little hint of typical teenage crush, you know? we've all been a little bit in love with our best friend at least once right 😳 same with narancia and mista! platonic besties who love each other. people who dont think platonic love is a thing are stupid. i mean, i love my friends and cuddle with them and hold hands with them and give them kisses, i think its fun and im not romantically interested in any of them!! its normal lol. humans love each other in so many fun ways and its beautiful!

jotaro and kakyoin is straight up like. so boring as a couple. i dont think they have any romantic chemistry at all. theyre both awkward teenagers who seemingly never have had any friends before and thats pretty much it, i like them as close friends. i think people just ship them because they see two male characters looking at each other and immediately have to imagine them in love or in bed which is like. come on. HOWEVER done RIGHT i think jotaro/kakyoin can be fun and sweet! but people need to stop rewriting their entire characters just to make it "work" 💀 idk. actually most characters i just view as platonic, i might be projecting HGDJSKGHSJ

joseph and caesar i can totally see as more than friends though! avdol and polnareff too omg <333 guys who piss together kiss together or whatever 🦐

but other than bruabba the only thing that will make me go completely brainrot for days is gyjo holy shit johnny and gyro GHHHH theyre in love in every sense of the word ok but they also kinda have divorced energy idk HAHAH

there are so many funny weird "ships" but not really ships too like, i think its so fucking funny when people say rohan has a stupid crush on jotaro but jotaro has the emotional palette of a fucking cactus, the dude is not interested and rohan is pathetic.

[coco-chip]

hmmmmm i already asked for gyjo so, gionara or bruabba for the new ship meme 👀?

Thanks! Ill do both!

part 5 spoilers ahead cause i gotta in order to talk about the ship

Bruabba 

The ship is my: fav ship in part 5!

I consider this ship’s feelings: Mutual | Mixed | Strange | Awkward | Platonic | Sibling-like | One-sided | They don’t really like each other

I’d consider the relationship: Healthy | Awkward | Abusive | Doesn’t work properly | They’d never get together |

Children: No | Yes | They’d think about it (the part 5 gang is their children we kno this)

General Opinion: a good and healthy albeit tragic ship!! I really like abbas devotion to bruno especially with how its contrasted to how much he hates gio! Both of them deserve love tbh and i get the feeling like the saved each other and im a sucker for ships like that! I really like seeing fanart of them! I should probably start reading fic of them cause i do enjoy the ship! I hope theyre chilling in heaven together tho 

Gionara

The ship is my: head tilt emoji 

I consider this ship’s feelings: Mutual | Mixed | Strange | Awkward | Platonic | Sibling-like | One-sided | They don’t really like each other

I’d consider the relationship: Healthy | Awkward | Abusive | Doesn’t work properly | They’d never get together |

Children: No | Yes | They’d think about it

General Opinion: I know this ship exists and theres like nothing wrong it at all! I just cant remember like,,any significant interaction between gio and nara beyond like gios reaction to naras death and i guess the squalo and tiz fight cause gio did help nara in that fight i think?? like i said not a bad ship i just dont see the reasoning behind it! its a ship that i would be like ‘oh cute’ when scrolling by on tumblr but nothing id try to seek out art or fic for if its someone elses thing i certainly wouldnt hold it against them, im just real meh/neutral to the ship

still doing these!