#btw for those who were wanting an update about the terrifying man: i told my boss and she said ‘ok’ and didn’t care lol

[emmcfrxst]

it’s like 30°C inside the gas station and i’m not allowed to turn on the a/c so i’m out here sweating and feeling so lightheaded that i keep having to sit down in case i pass out 🥴

[yandere-dark-cupid]

If you’re requests are open can I get a Yandere Zuko x fem reader where after the war he looks for his darling by making his guards track her down but without anyone knowing bc he doesn’t want ppl to think that he’s back into his old ways again and keeps her in the palace

Ok Angel 💜👌💜. If you want, I could continue this as a mini part to part scenario series if I have the time T.Angel. There is just so many ideas worming around this concept and just think of the crazy things the darling and Zuko is going to go through, while also keeping both of their identities on the veeery low-key. Just let me know Angel 😊☕💜.

Also everyone is going to be aged up to 18+ Btw.

Side note: For the sake of this scenario, the darling will be from the Southern Water tribe. If this Angel decides to let me continue this as a mini scenario series, then the both of us are going to talk about if the darling can be a Waterbender or not.

Warning ⚠!!!: Their is going to be some slight Nsfw in this.

Yandere Zuko: A Dragon's treasure

Five weeks. It has been five weeks since you've went missing. Once the war has ended, Zuko was planning to propose to you. But every since his coronation of being crowned the new FireLord, you just up and vanished. It was like you were never there in the first place. And Zuko has been scattering everywhere in the palace and Fire nation to find you or some type of clue. But nothing. There was nothing there. You really covered your tracks, didn't you?

Right now Zuko was in his thrown room. He was fuming- No steaming with rage. If anyone were to walk in to the room, they'll notice it was boiling in there. He tried to look everywhere in the palace. Even outside the palace. But to no avail. Zuko couldn't find you. You've made it clear that you don't want to be with him or any where near him with this type of stunt you've pulled.

Zuko took a seat on his thrown. His hands was on his head, just about ready to pull his hair out and shout in frustration. But then a knock on the door stop him. " *Frustrated sigh* State your name and your business." Zuko said with spite and a hint of venom in his voice. The person behind the door flinched at his tone of voice. "It's me Sir. The guard you put in charge of the search party for Ms.Y/N". Zuko perked up at the mention of his missing lover's name. " Come in. " said Zuko. With out a second thought, the guard entered the room. She bowed down in respect for her FireLord.

" FireLord Zuko I have an update about Ms.Y/N's whereabouts. " Said the guard. She almost stuttered. The guard noticed how extremely hot it was in the thrown room. It was a clear sign that FireLord Zuko was pissed out of his mind. " Well, " Zuko said in annoyance and anger. Zuko was beyond angry at this point. He was a whole entire cluster fuck of emotions right now. " M-me and m-my crew found some people who could be connected to Ms.Y/N's disappearance , your majesty. " Stuttered the guard in slight fear. Zuko quirked up an eyebrow at what the guard said.

Ah. So the guard managed to find the ones responsible for his darling's vanishment, or at least had some part in it. " Bring them in. " Zuko said. The guard only merely nodded, not wanting to meet the FireLord's intimidating gaze. The guard got off their knees and went to call the other guards, to bring out the people that played some part of the darling going missing. The other guards quickly brought out four other people. Those people was tied up, bounded, and blind folded. The people was visibly quivering in fear. They were very confused and scared on what they did to upset the FireLord.

The four guards forcefully pushed the four people down to the floor. Each guard took off each person's blind fold. In front of the four people, there sat the FireLord in all his glory. FireLord Zuko glared down at the 4 people in a burning gaze. So these disgusting pathetic excuses of human was responsible for his darling going missing. Zuko scoffed at the thought. After a painful intimidating stare down, Zuko finally spoke. " So your the ones held responsible for Y/N's disappearance. " Zuko spat out to them with his voice dipped in poison.

" I-if y-you're talking about a someone that has (h/c), (e/c), and (s/c) then t-they came to m-my store to buy clothes." The woman stuttered in fear. Zuko stayed quite and only listened. " If you're talking about the same person; they came to my food stand and brought some food. " the old man said quickly in fear of what the FireLord would do to him if he took so long to explain himself. Zuko only merely quirks his eyebrow. " Y-yeah, that same person came to my Shop and bought some bags and extra equipment as his they were going on a trip. " The man said while sweating nervously. " The same person came to shack a-and brought some w-weapons. " Said the short lady in fear. Zuko only hmmed at what they said.

" So you're telling me the lady you just described went to all of your stores and shops to buy something. " Zuko said still glaring down the four people. " Y-yes. " the woman squeaked in fear. The old man only nodded quickly. " Mhm. " both the man and woman said. Zuko got up from his thrown and began to walk down to his stand. " What should we do with them you highness? " Said one of the guards. " Bring them to the dungeon. I will decide what to do with them later. " Said Zuko. " I-I don't understand what did we do wrong. " Stuttered the woman in fear and nervousness. Zuko quickly turned to the woman, the woman quickly shuts her mouth. Zuko then begins to slowly walk towards her.

Zuko shot one of his hands out and grasps the woman's face in a painful grip. The woman squeaks in surprise and fear. Zuko just merely just glares down at her. His eyes is filled with a flaming rage. " You all are held responsible for the disappearance of Y/N, " Zuko spat out in anger. Zuko releases his hand from woman's face. Zuko steps away from the woman and is now in front of the four bounded people. " Since you all play a part in my- err Y/N's disappearance, you all will be punished accordingly. " The four people only shook even more at FireLord Zuko's statement. " All of you take them away were they'll never see the light of day again. " Zuko said with venom dripping from his voice.

The four guards only bowed and said a quick " yes sir ". With that they took the four people away. Now Zuko was once again left in his thrown room...... alone.

Zuko let out a sigh of frustration out. He walked towards a window that was in the room. He stared down at his people, he was thinking about something. Based on what the four people said, Zuko can conclude that his darling is no longer in the Fire nation. Zuko dug into his pocket and took out something. It was a necklace. A betrothed necklace to be more specific. You see his darling was not from the fire nation, no no no. You were from a Water tribe, the Southern Water tribe to put it. While Zuko was on his trip to help Aang defeat his father and help him master firebending, Zuko found out from Katara on what her necklace means. He found out that from the Water tribe in order to marry someone, you have to make a betrothed necklace and give it to that special someone. When Zuko found out about this type of information, he instantly got rapped up about it. Ever since he's joined team Avatar he was thinking about what life would be like when he becomes FireLord, then his thoughts were drawn into marriage. He can't help but think, his darling would make the perfect FireLady. His FireLady.

And they'll have children. They'll be lovely children. With his darling swelled up with another one of his heirs all while holding another one of their children. It'll truly be a.. delicious sight to see ~ Zuko hmmed in delight at the thought of his darling bearing his children. But... that's if he witness such a darling sight. Zuko groaned at his mood being dampened and soured. But he knows it's true. Zuko knows if he doesn't act fast, he'll lose his darling. And that lovely little scene that played in his mind, will be nothing but a mere fantasy. Besides, he doesn't want to get himself accidentally sexual frustrated.....

With that aside, Zuko begins to start planning and strategizing. Zuko walks away from the window. He calls a servant, he orders them to get one of his best generals. The servant was slightly hesitant and confused, but never the less terrified. Wasn't the war over? They pushed their question aside, because they know now wouldn't be the best time to question the FireLord. He hasn't been acting himself lately and has been been flaring up at anything these past few weeks. With out much of a second thought, they did as they were told and went to see if someone could get one of the generals FireLord Zuko was talking about.

Zuko on the other hand, went back to sit on his thrown. He knew it will take time for the general to get here, so he decided to sit and be patient for him to get here. All while doing this, Zuko began to plan out in his mind on how he was going to get his darling. He was thinking about getting some of the Fire nation's best spies to help track down his darling. Sending out a whole search team and alerting the public while cause some type of panic. Not only that but he's trying to show that He and the Fire nation has turned over a new leaf, that and he doesn't want people and the other members of team Avatar know he's basically going back to his old ways. Since everybody knows the history on how he went to the ends of the earth to find and Capture the Avatar, and he's basically doing the same for his darling. It'll put a bad name on him and an even worse name on the Fire nation. So he'll lay as low as possible and keep shush shush about it, so he doesn't rise suspicion and ruin all the hard work he's been putting in the past time he's became FireLord.

With all those thoughts in mind, Zuko decides to call the same servant from before. So he can see if his message has been delivered. The Servant said they already sent a messaging hawk out to see if they can reach the general. Zuko only hmmed and dismissed them, and told them to report back to him once the massage has been delivered. With that the servant left, leaving Zuko in his thrown room. Zuko dug into his pocket again. He took out the Betrothed necklace out. He gently creased and rubbed the engraving and creases. He took so many hours and very much effort into making this for his darling. Looking at it always made him feel calmer, it made him happy knowing that his darling will be wearing it soon. But then his darling ran away from him before he can give it to them. Zuko pushed down on the purple garnet at the thought of his darling running away from him ( the rest of the necklace's gems are made up of smaller bits of Rudy and sapphire ). Zuko let out another sigh of frustration. He began to think. Once is darling is back with him he's never letting them go...........

My God, this was a boom ass idea. Not only that, but an idea of Zuko having a bit of a breeding kink has been floating around in my mind for some time now. I had a lot of fun with this. Like I said before T.Angel, If you want me to make a mini scenarios series about this let me know 😆! Well I hope you enjoy it. Until next time my Little Tainted Angels, see you soon ~💜❤💜

[beizhuo]

alright folks , i made this post last night about amending my carrd rules . & now , after calming somewhat down from getting sick to my stomach about it , i must now make one final update post about this to make people really & fully understand where i stand . why ? because i am , once again , having / needing to finely comb through the people i want to follow & interact with due to some very , VERY toxic behavior & terrible , childish individuals that think its real cute to stalk , harrass , steal , & gatekeep folks . 

understand that i will NOT be namedropping anybody in this post . this is not my intention . i am not out here to isolate folks or make people ‘ chose sides ’ . making people do that is absolutely horrible ! i do not give a damn who other people interact with . i do , however have extreme issues with theft ( amongst other things ) . i can draw a god damn line at theft ! 

harassment ? don’t care . you’re trolling , i can ignore you . gatekeeping . you’e petty and attention seeking im here for friends anyway . but actual literal theft - i can draw a line there . please get out & OFF MY BLOG if you are so unoriginal that you haveta steal from me or my friends !

please know that you can interact with those thieves & gatekeepers , i don’t care ! but understand that i will most likely softblock you because i genuinely do not want them to find me . no hard feelings . ( they have found my other 2 blogs , and i am tired of them finding me ! especially for baizhu ! i don’t even follow some of my friends here cause of this ! ) i am not even in the genshin community to begin with . my group ? we don’t do communities for toxic behavior and people being so exclusive to the point of driving people out & away . its distasteful and mean ! do you know that i have some friends that were cut off from communities entirely all because they were a dupe ? tHAT is the kind of dupe drama i fucking hate . along with theft . anyway . i will start from the beginning of my rules that i deem important .

DUPLICATES . ( AND MIMICRY / THEFT )

the irony that this is the first point . it is like it was a wonderful transition . anyway . this is actually having to deal with two rule points . and i want to group them together cause they are related .

myself & a few other people have come to find out that .... there is somebody AT THE VERY LEAST taking inspo from us . i will start with dupes .

my friend has a character and was WHOLLY mistaken for another mun . which is fine . that happens , but things took a turn for the worse when they were then shunned / cut off because they werent ‘ good enough ’ . do you know how HORRIBLE that is ? to be told that you aren’t good because you weren’t the mun that they wanted ? this is the type of shit i cannot stand with dupe drama . DO NOT EVER COMPARE DUPES WITH ONE ANOTHER !!! i mean it . 

i follow different childes ! and you know what i adore them both . they are both amazing ! 

sure i may have my mains / exclusives ( and im not inclined to interact with other blogs of that same character ) but i still like portrayals . i do , in fact , just READ threads sometimes . i don’t necessarily follow for interactions . like ffs man . i like variety . jesus christ .

going to mimicry / theft . you know ... i have fucking seen this with a couple of friends . there is a difference between coincidental similarities , however ! for myself & for my friends , we have SEEN inspo taken from us . im gonna say this really loud for people .

MIMICRY IS NOT FUCKING FLATTERY . 

do not take inspo from me . especially without credit . absolutely do NOT do it . you are very unoriginal for doing that shit . 

now , you like something i make / made ? you are inspired to want to make something ? fine , that’s okay , you can ALSO fucking ask me , you can also credit me . as you fucking should ! you can notify me and go , damn , i really like your style , do you mind if i use it in xyz ? sure , go right ahead . do it . im begging you , go ahead and do it IF YOU FUCKING ASK ME . god im so fucking angry about this , but this is some vile shit . and im angry .

i am angry and terrified cause i literally cannot get away from these people cause they seem to be wherever i go . i DO NOT DO COMMUNITIES BECAUSE OF THIS .

as a good friend said : it’s like they are a virus that you cannot get rid of .

thats what happens with attention seekers unfortunately , but for the sake of my safety & health , i will not have it on my blog or dash . if i see these people on my dash often , i will unfollow .

and it isn’t like a specific person , its a GROUP of people . which leads me to my next point .

DRAMA / CALLOUTS.

imagine having beef with an individual , and then going around and gatekeeping that individual and getting people to unfollow / block them . im not talking about , ‘ hey this person is vile because they ship incest ’ . i am talking about ‘ i had a disagreement with this person & they hurt my feelings >:/ they are mean and will hurt you . etc etc etc . ’ 

i do not give a flying fuck about somebodies issues with another person . so you guys don’t get along . not my problem . i have people that hate me . i have friends where i hate their friends . shit happens . i am probably absolute scum to some people lol . i get mistaken for other people sometimes . it’s fine , hate me cause you think im that person . that person is snowflake repellent anyway , go choke on your kool aide that you are drinking ig . 

okay sorry i am angry but still . people claim and cry about wanting to talk & communicate . but then . guess what . sometimes shitty people are like , so this person said this to me , and they are mean . IF YOU ARE THE PERSON THAT GOES ‘ OH MY GOD HOW DARE THEY ’ AND BLOCK THEM THEN YOU ARE THE PROBLEM . i will give an example . of using my two names that i have .

somebody goes to amphy and says ‘omg ghost said this , and im frustrated and angry with them cause what he said was uncalled for . ’ if amphy goes ‘ omg ghost is shitty ’ and then unfollows / blocks them without any other discussion , then thats an issue cause ghost has no idea wtf happen . amphy got involved in YOUR relationship with ghost even though ghost has been nothing but kind and sweet to you . you also don’t know if amphy is just victimising or being emotional either . so why they fuck would you believe somebody who is venting to you about it and then block somebody who did literally NOTHING to you .

i dont know if i explained that correctly but i will give you something more realistic , again without namedropping .

i have a few friends that hate one another . i’ve known all of them for years . but they all , i kid you not , they ALL fucking hate each other . there’s three of them . and they cannot stand each other . i just happen to be somebody who gets along with all of them . you bet your ass that at one point , they all came to talk mad shit about the others . what did i do ? i went , oh okay . well im sorry that you have issues with them . sounds like a bad experience , but i can’t do anything about that cause i am not you and i am not them . if you are gonna change my mind , it isn’t gonna happen , sorry !

i have had people shit talk people i have no idea who they are , and i just sit here just being a source for them to vent , but i never NEVER EVER act on anything i hear . why ? cause its petty drama and gossip . if you do that , then damn , sorry kiddo , get some help on that alright ? maybe be nicer . i dunno .

now . racism ? pedophilia ? incest ? HARMFUL SHIT ? that’s different . but again , theres a lot of miscommunication . i have people coming and pulling the cards like they are hot shit  and that isn’t fucking cute . THAT ISN’T CUTE GUYS . you are the problem if you try to victimize yourself cause of something YOU misinterpreted .

i have a friend that has this on their blog .

i am literally going off on a god damn tangent . anyway . :) 

fuck you if drink kool aide .

THERE ARE OTHER MENTAL DISORDERS! YOU ARE ABLEIST IS YOU ERASE THE OTHER (UN)COMMON ONES.

i know that autism is the ‘common’ one here . you are valid okay . but guess what . ADHD , BPD, DiD, and straight up depression and anxiety are also things as well ! there are MANY folks here that are also undiagnosed as well OR they lay on some sort of spectrum as well . I am once again not going to disclose my own things here cause again THAT IS PRIVATE INFO , but fuck you if you refuse to see other disabilities .

also there are physical disabilities as well btw .

if you are not understanding of any other disability , or you wanna mute / deafen other mental disorders , YOU ARE THE FUCKING PROBLEM .

end of story . 

treat other people how you want them to treat you and don’t you dare ever shove your baggage at them . thanks . 

please be more understanding that some people are not okay:tm: . 

i implore you to get help if you need help , but sometimes some people dont have to take your shit . and they most certainly do not need to sit and take your issues if they are not okay either . its toxic and very unhealthy behavior to expect others to help you . they can help you as best as they can , but you need to understand that everybody has their moments . do not guilttrip them . do not gaslight them . 

but also understand that sometimes , people are saying things cause they genuinely need help ! you can be there for them but as a friend , you need to also tell them your own boundaries as well and tell them that they need to seek professional help .

but also , if somebody refuses to get help , then that is on them . not on you . 

anyway another tangent , but back to the point . autism , while you need to understand is something you need to see and understand , is not the only mental disorder ! and you need to understand that some people suffer from really REALLY shitty things and are sometimes undiagnosed . i am really REALLY tired of depression , ADHD , BPD, and DiD getting brushed under the rug like they are not important . cause guess what , there are spectrums ! all mental health is important . fuck you if you disregard the other disorders , you are being ableist .

STOP HATE READING PEOPLE.

im really sick and tired of this . you don’t like something somebody said ? you can either : ask what they meant or block / unfollow them . 

DO NOT FUCKING STALK THEM EITHER . 

you have an obsession if you hover on their blog too .. do not do that . that is SO unhealthy for you . here is what a friend said on twitter . ( not name dropping them , just copy pasting them )

❛ i stg people need to fine a better hobby than to hate read a persons blog or profile. not a good look on you when you go and read what they post about just to get angry at something you think they said and then you go off spewing lies about it cause 'youre offended.'  

like you already hate them in the first place. you weren’t 'looking to see if they were a better person.' youre just looking to find another thing to hate about them. 

that is what hate reading is about. so you can read their posts and find just another reason to hate and laugh at how bad you think they are.

but it doesnt make you a better person. it just makes you a sad person with no life. stop hate reading people. grow tf up. go breathe on some plants or something idk.

i say this very loud and clear . if you hate read me , i live in your head rent free . not my problem . but it does become my problem if you begin to steal shit and start spewing lies about myself or my friends . grow up and move on with your life . sorry my life seems more interesting than you ig . idk .

anway this got long , and at this point i am going off on a tangent but !!!!

TL ; DR

read my rules ig . idk .

you can dm me for more info if you want . at this point i have blocked the problem blogs for myself. if you are curious you can ask . HOWEVER. i am not going to tell you to block or unfollow . why ? cause at the end of the day , it is MY beef . this are my issues . i am NOT here to gatekeep .

i will say that i will tell you IN private the for MY story . but keep in mind that it is MY story . not yours . not theirs . it is all about perception .

my perception is that they are scummy gatekeeping thieves . they gatekeep the people they dont like or are intimidated by . i am somebody who fucking bites and calls people out on their shit , because of this ? i make enemies . but my enemies are not yours . i dont care .  dont give a damn . i am intimidating to people who are cowards and i don’t care . 

if they feel bad when i call them out , if they try to go around and do damage control , then that means they are guilty .

and then you can ask yourself this : why are they reacting like that ?

i am once again going to bring up that other twitter user that i quoted before .

❛  you dont like hearing that because someone is holding a mirror up to you and it makes you uncomfortable because you know you . and you know the parts of you that are good . so in your heart you have to come up with a narrative that makes you feel better about the fact that somebody is asking your to confront the parts about yourself that you hate the most .

anyway . this got long . im so sorry for the long read . im so sorry i sounded hostile ad angry . im just volatile sometimes . im just really tired . and i dont need to come on this blog and have a panic attack . 

anyway . cheers loves ! stay happy , stay healthy . drink your fluids . take your meds !

[notwhoiwanttobeyet]

tumblr journal [1]

NOTE: hi pLeasE don’t read this. this is just a way of coping with my mental illnesses. this is completely unedited, highly personal and i stRonGLy advise you look away. i hope you’re having a good day! happy holidays :)

also don’t mind the spotify links along the way; just some songs i almost or did cry to while writing this 

tw: suicidal thoughts, anxiety attacks, (breast) cancer

hey tumblr, 

it’s been a while since i’ve really vented. a lot of us use tumblr as a copying mechanism (me included) and i think it’s important i evaluate my current situation and break things down. 

https://open.spotify.com/track/1WVunZLZM2zLTm5rAvKZkF?si=a94u_JAsRX2VCWOD6z4l-Q

exam season is over; i’m on summer break. and that’s great. no more school. no more exams and assignments and testing and all that FUCKING BULLSHIT THAT THE SYSTEM PUTS US THROUGH. i’m sorry, i’m trying to stay calm but it’s so fuckiNg hard. i’m literally going to cry i- so yeah, as we know, towards the end of the year school fucked me over and i really, reaLLY, REALLY wanted to die. so when school finished i was like “oh i must be all good now, right?” but i wasn’t. i was left feeling so numb, to be completely honest (and cliche).  

then i got sick which was soooo fucked. apparently a lot of people who went to our small friend kris kringle gathering got sick which sucks but because i spent so much of this year in isolation, i forgot what it felt like to be sick and oh bOY it fucking sucked. i over exaggerated because i’m sensitive and wanted to die. i was sick for like a week and my parents quarantined me because my mum is recovering from a breast cancer surgery and couldn’t afford to get sick so i was like locked in my room- on my own- which yeah, i do anyway but this felt sooo different. this felt like, completely fuckEd because my parents were wearing masks around the house and would leave food in my doorway, etc. i felt like a complete MONSTER to the people i love. i also obviously couldn’t hug them or anything, leaving me touch starved and ugh- it just wasn’t a great experience. 

also my mum is recovering fine and stuff but it’s an emotional fucking time for everyone and i’m so stupid i haven’t told anyone about my mum being sick and all. like people don’t ask why i’m acting up because i’m ALWAYS acting up. i’m always sensitive and angry and having mood swings. that’s just me, being mentally ill. so no one asks why i’m worried. my mum has/had BREAST CANCER- brooo. she’s had one surgery which went well and will most likely have to have chemo and/or radiation in the coming year. we get the results back after christmas. so that’s a thing. 

i have a secure group of friends which i’ve always wanted, but it doesn’t feel right. it never feels right. like today the three of us went shopping and THEY WENT CRAZY- i was so stressed and had literally like 6 different mental breakdowns in the 2 hours we were out. they were bumping into people, running around, trying on every item of clothing ironically in every store. that shit stresses me out. and there’s nothing wrong with that- they’re good people and they’re not doing anything wrong really - it’s just normal teenage stuff. but i’m note normal, i’m super anxious and everyone was looking at us and it made me sooo uncomfortable. like- i could elaborate more but thinking about it hurts. i felt like i was their mum or something, shepherding them around and making sure they didn’t break anything else. they- UGH// they broke a perfume bottle and rudely ran away from a teacher i have a good reputation with. like i said, they’re just normal teenagers but it fucks me up. it’s not them, it’s me. on the bright side i saw this same lesbian couple i saw the other day again :) i never see wlw or mlm couples in public really so it makes me soo happy when i see them :) i also saw this girl in an unnus annus hoodie and i was gonna say something but i’m too *anxious* so i just stared at her until she looked at me weirdly and i ran out of the store. oH and there was a girl in an mcr shirt ahh-- she was really pretty but i was too busy running it was a whole thing like my mum was coming to pick me up and i had 10 minutes so i ran up from one end of the mall to the other and then upstairs to this store to but this fucking wonderwomen shirt and then i had to run all the way back and i’m not the most athletic to say the least and i wanted to CRY but yeah. what did i learn today? people aren’t for me. friends aren’t for me. and again i know i’m built to be alone. 

https://open.spotify.com/track/7wTqEW5nrMhvyEhEyTnOMd?si=ata2BwOPQji3twov9wTZWg

i’m really thirsty. ew not like tha- i fucking hate society

cinnamon rolls not gender rolls. wait my friend got that on a poster let me see if i can find it,,,

yeah here it is ^^^^

also: my hair. i’m so happy having it the length it is but mAn i just- i just- i hate myself lol. like i don’t know what else to say. i think i’m ugly and every time i look in the mirror i want to cry, and it’s going to be like that forever so i need to just except that. i am ugly, i hate myself. like- bro come on. it’s been like this forever and it’s going to continue to be like this forever so i need to stop fucking crying over it.

https://open.spotify.com/track/05JtBVWRtSzqLoj7jj30kn?si=30W4pt7dT8G3cbzaUMqldw

oh my god this song i’m about to cry. this is what i want. why can’t i just be- not me!!! 

these past few days i’ve literally been playing minecraft bed wars all day. like all day. and it was okay but now my eyes hurt and my head hurts and my hands hurt and i hate myself and everything hurts. 

also- music doesn’t feel right. it’s been like this for a while now, it’s getting better though. before i couldn’t listen to any music at all - now i’ve been listening to kid krow on repeat : ) 

god bless you, conan. my number one song currently is *cough* E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY LIFE (which they are btw) which is- fucking terrifying and funny at the same time. i genuinely like CORPSE though- i’ve watched every among us stream and i love his songs- in the past i would have considered myself a simp (?) maybe (?) but i had a nightmare about it and i can’t awifjisenf simp no more. i still appreciate him, i just- had an awakening. 

sexuality crises also suck a whole bunch. there was a 1-2 day phase a few weeks ago where i was low key PRAYING to be a lesbian lmfao. like it sounds stupid but i was crying over that shit. background info: no i’m not one of those straight girls, i’m a bisexual female who’s almost a full on raging homosexual except i am attracted to men. and i wish i wasn’t, believe me when i say that. but i have realised i am bi so it’s okay. i thought i was a lesbian and awilfjnawr labels but no, i am slightly attracted to men sometimes. but to answer your question if i am lucky enough my future wife and i will be married and living in a cottage. 

ugh. life. bru h i’m actually a train wreck- i had an anxiety attack crying trying to find my childhood tinkerbelle and friends dolls the other night. and then to make matters worse, i found them in a box with a whole bunch of other dolls in the same box including StRawBerrY ShoRtCaKe doLLs and i smelt my stawberry shortcake doll hesitantly while crying and she still smelled like her strawberry scent and i was DEAD. 

https://open.spotify.com/track/1F6IbA7di42uPc3cff8PXV?si=COKcG_UbQh-GhKYJ5vtIgg

ugh. so this has been my update so far. oh wait-

christmas. holy shit how is it christmas. i want dEatH like. reasons why i’m sad for christmas: it doesn’t feel like christmas so i feel like i’m not going to enjoy it, i’ve had no motivation to clean my room so the contents of my wardrobe is all over my floor because i was mid resorting the drawers when i got sick, i’ve wanted to ask for doc martens and my chemicals romance + other artists’ merch all year but i have SEVERE ANXIETY so of course i didn’t and now my parents have gone and bought me a new phone or something which of course i’m grateful for but my iphone 6s works just fine. it’s a waste of money which we need at the moment but because i’m too anxious i didn’t ask for anything this year so my parents have just chosen to spoil me and- aW SHIT! i can’t=

anyway so that’s my bullcrap life. i mean my bullshit rant. am i glad i did this? yes. do i feel any better? kinDa? i don’t know okay. what am i going to do now? i don’t know. probably lie on the floor and drown in self pity in hopes of melting into the abyss. i might read my book which i’ve yet to finish. maybe reading can be my knew things, seeing as i have zero hobbies. i read like once in a blue moon.

this is it for now, good luck, future me. 

sincerely, 

jordan ♡

https://open.spotify.com/track/7B3z0ySL9Rr0XvZEAjWZzM?si=HyWPKutjRTuPumafim7_Vw

[justcallmenikki7]

BTS Reaction To: Them Crying (Taehyung and Jungkook) (Mafia!Au)

Summary: you threaten to leave and they begin to cry for the first time in front of you.

Warnings: mentions of death, crying, angst, fluff, mafia 

Notes: Here’s Tae’s and Kookies part in the “Them Crying” Mafia!Au Reaction! I plan on having Hobie’s and Jimin’s parts up soon, then I’ll be getting some of the requests in my inbox answered! Requests are opened btw! also, there is a lot of stuff going on rn in my family and my girlfriends family right now, so updating will be slow for a while, but i am trying to make sure it won’t be a huge stretch for the updates. 

***************************************************************************************

Taehyung:

Arguments with your spouse is normal - small disagreements and slight bickering also.

But a full out yelling match with them, that’s a different story also.

Taehyung has been short with you, snapping at you over the smallest things and making you feel like crap is something has been a norm the last few weeks. You haven’t said anything because this is what you have been trying to avoid – a yelling match. You are innocent in this due to trying to bring it up to him since it was the first night he was home early.

“My God, Y/N, you need to grow up. Jesus Christ!” Taehyung yelled, “This is why I haven’t been home lately due to your whining.” He admitted, running his hand over his face.

What he said was a huge slap in the face for you. You were quiet for a moment and it seemed as if your tears stopped falling.

“Fine.” You stated, “I’ll just leave since all I do is whine and obviously am a burden to you. I’m sorry that I’ve been trying to spend time with you and trying to make sure that you are doing okay. Goodbye, Taehyung.” You stood up, planning on going to pack an overnight bag in your bedroom and to call a hotel for the night.

You were not planning on leaving Taehyung for good, you just wanted to get some space from him and to clear your head.

“You’re what?” Taehyung asked, shock evident in his voice.

“I’m leaving.” You stated again, not turning around to look at him. “I don’t want to be with you right now.”

Your declaration must’ve hit him somehow because you began to hear Taehyung’s heavy breathing. Turning around, you were met with a tear stained face and a broken expression Taehyung.  You couldn’t believe your eyes – Taehyung, the man who was known as V in the mafia world – was crying right in front of you.

“Please don’t leave.” He begged, hands shaking, “Please don’t leave, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said, you’re not whiny or anything, I’m a dick.” He told you. “I’m sorry for being rude these past few weeks, I’ve been stressed and I took it out on you when I should have been turning to you.”

Cupping his face, you wiped away the stray tears that were falling. “Taehyung I wasn’t leaving you for good, I was going to stay somewhere so we could get space from one another and cool off. I love you, I would never want to leave you for good. I accept your apology. Always know that I am here for you.” You told him, pressing a kiss to his wet cheek.

Nodding his head, he pressed a kiss to your palm. “I love you too, baby.”

Jungkook:

You were stood in front of your boyfriend, Jungkook, frightened.

You had just saw your boyfriend, Mafia boyfriend you may add, kill someone right in front of your own very eyes. The pure anger – but enjoyment – that was on his face is what scared you. You never really thought about it in all honesty, your boyfriend killing and doing the most illegal things. The reason why is because you didn’t see that man when he came home to you after a tiring day. The man who would greet you with a bunny like smile, love and adoration in his eyes and would give you a kiss on your forehead.

Not someone who found enjoyment in killing another person.

And that is something that terrified you.

Once jungkook saw the fear etched on your face, he dropped his gun and ran over to you. Realization began to dawn on him and his head began shaking back and forth in fear.

“No, no, no, baby. I’m so fucking sorry, oh my god. You did not need to see that.” He began to apologize to you.

“Jung-jungkook you just killed someone! You just killed a person!” you screamed.

“Because he was trying to hurt you! I was defending you and I!”

He did have a point though, that man was trying to hurt you both, mainly you. But that didn’t stop your fear of seeing your loving boyfriend kill someone with sure pure happiness and no regret. He smiled at the pain that the man was in and it scared you.

“I know that, Jungkook! But you enjoyed it! Your joy out of killing someone scares me!” you admitted. His face fell at your admission. “I knew what came with being your girlfriend, but Kookie, yo-“

“-NO!” he cut you off, “You’re not leaving me! I’m sorry that I scared you! That’s the last thing that I ever wanted to do is scare you. You’re my princess and I never wanted you to witness that. Please don’t leave me.” He begged, tears welling up in his eyes. His began to tug at his hair, he looked like a child who had lost his puppy.

You had never witnessed Jungkook look so vulnerable in your time of being with him – and you have been with him for three years. Seeing him this small made you cry also. You love Jungkook with all of your being and you knew what you were getting yourself into by being his girlfriend. Hell, you sometimes think to yourself if you’re crazy by being with the leader of the most feared mafia. But you shake that thought off by knowing how much you love this man.

“Hey, hey, Jungkook. Shh.” You cooed to him, grabbing his face in your hands so you could have him look at you. “Kookie, I’m not leaving you, I pinky promise.” You stated first, smiling at your guys little kid act of ‘pinky promises’. “I love you, you’re my forever. But Jungkook, what I witnessed scared me. But I know what I got myself into by being with you and I have to face some of those things, but that is okay. It’s okay because it means I get to be with you and I love you. I’m  not going anywhere.”

When you were done, Jungkook brought you into a deep, passionate kiss. “I love you so much, princess.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[sooghostwriter]

CLUB ıFinaleı

Genre: AU. Adult. Pairing: Do Kyung Soo  x OC Plot: Moon Soo goes to EXO Club (aka EXO Strip club) one day, and falls under the spell of one dancer, D.O.

Notes: i’m so sorry for the late update, but life got in the way. I went on vacation, and then SM Town happened (yes, I had Kyung Soo right in front of me). But here I am. I want to thank you all for the support, the comments and the love. Enjoy the last chapter.  Remember to listen to the playlist! BTW, the song he dances is CBX’s Thursday. 

Chapter 5.  

Moon Soo went to pick up Kyung Soo at the coffee shop where he worked after her shift. She arrived a bit early, so she walked around the neighborhood checking the store’s window displays. She wished she could find something for Kyung Soo, a present to commemorate his new job. She walked for a while until she found him a black apron at a specialized store. She still had some minutes to kill, so she went to Kyong Soo’s coffee to wait for him. He was preparing something in the machine very focused, so he didn’t see her when she walked into the store and ordered. The girl at the register told him what she ordered and gave him a cup with her name on it.

He came back to the sophisticated coffee machine, Moon Soo still unnoticed. After a couple of minutes of explosives noises and steam, he was done with her coffee “Moon Soo?” He called, not looking ahead “Here! Thank you D.O” She said playfully, grabbing her cup. He looked up startled “Moon Soo, you are early”

“I know, I will wait for you over there” She pointed at a comfy couch at the back of the shop “Ok, I’ll be done in 15 minutes” In the 15 minutes that passed, at least 10 costumers arrived, and Kyung Soo prepared the 10 coffees quickly.

He appeared with his street clothes after his shift ended with a middle-age woman behind him “We will miss you Kyung Soo, take care ok”

“Yes ma’am, thank you for everything” He bowed at her and gave Moon Soo a signal to come with him. He offered his hand and Moon Soo grabbed it, walking outside the coffee shop. When they were outside, he turned around facing the glass walls “I quit this job today”

“You did? Why?”

“I need to focus on cooking, and they pay me more at the restaurant now, so I can survive without the coffee money”

“Congratulations Kyung Soo” He looked at her puzzled “You are taking a new step, and that takes braveness and it needs to be congratulated”

“Thank you”

“So now you only have the job at the restaurant, the karaoke and the club”

“Yes”

“Still sounds like a lot”

“Yeah, in the future I will probably quit at the karaoke place” She was kind of relieved “Not the club uh?”

“Oh no, I love it there” He started walking with her, swinging their joined hands “Good for you, good for us, good for everybody”

“You don’t want me to quit the club?”

“Of course is your decision, but no, not only because you are amazing but also because I know you like it, you love it, you like the rush it gives you, you love to dance, you love your friends there, so why quit when you don’t have too, at least not yet” He stopped on his tracks again, grabbing her other hand, making her face him “Again, you get it”

“I get it”

Working with kids was always her favorite part of the job. They were very brave. But also, they always came with parents, and parents were terrible.

A birthday party went wrong when the kids got food poisoned with the chicken. Now the ER was populated by 10 kids, with their respective mothers and fathers. Her head was killing her, so she needed a break. One of her colleagues took her position and she went for some needed 30 minutes of rest. She still had the night ahead. She checked her phone and found two missed calls from Kyung Soo and a message telling her to call him as soon as possible. She got really worried, she wished she had his number on speed dial so she could call him faster. He picked up after the 2nd ring “Kyung Soo, did something happen?”

“Yeah, I got kicked out from my apartment” He sounded so sad and worried, she wanted to run to him and console him “Why?”

“My landlord found out about my job, she said a lot of things regarding my morals and stuff and kicked me out, she even gave me back my deposit” She was fuming all of the sudden “That bitch!” A nurse that was passing by jolted at her cursing, she bowed at her apologetically “And where are you know? What are you going to do?” He cleaned his throat a bit nervous “I was thinking, May I stay at your apartment until I find a new place? I could stay with one of the guys, but the possibility terrifies me” She sat down at a bench relieved, she was thinking on proposing that, but she was worried Kyung Soo wouldn’t like the idea “I’m glad we were thinking the same, I’m not going to be there until tomorrow morning, but make yourself at home, ok?”

“Thank you, Sehun and the other guys are helping me with my things, you don’t mind them at your house?”

“Of course not, are you going to need my car?”

“No, I have that covered”

“Ok, see you tomorrow then” He took a deep breath and his voice sounded so much calmer when he said “Moon Soo, Thank you”

“I’m glad I could help you”

She normally left work an hour after the end of her shift, there were always things to do, information to give to her colleagues. This time she dashed out the door as soon as the clock marked 8 o’clock.

She picked up breakfast on her way and went home. Kyung Soo was just getting dressed when she arrived.

His energy was very low. His eyes looked tired, and his voice sounded different. Even the way he walked was slower than usual. She wouldn’t say he was sad, he looked disappointed. She gave him a tight hug and brought him to the kitchen so they could eat “She was so disrespectful, she kept talking at me like someone inferior, and saying things like I can’t imagine what can of life you live, you deceive me and I just stopped listening at some point, I couldn’t answer either, I was in shock and she wouldn’t stop talking, it was so frustrating, and I was terrified, I didn’t know what to do, then she left and threatened with calling the cops If I didn’t leave by today” The more he spoke, the sadder his voice got. Moon Soo kept caressing his back, and with every sentence, she felt more and more disgust up her throat. She was a doctor, yes, and her duty was to save lives, yes, but she was ready to take one life just now “Who she thinks she is?! That amount of disrespect!” Kyung Soo only shrugged “You aren’t hurting anyone with your job, unless you consider sexual frustration a bad thing, but besides that your job is as normal as any other job” Kyung Soo brought his left hand to her thigh, trying to calm her down “Moon Soo?”

“What?!” She shouted unintentionally, but Kyung Soo only chuckled at her tone “Thank you for getting mad, it takes away a lot of frustration when you get mad for me and support me”

“Well…yeah, but…I mean it’s obvious!”

“Yeah, but not everybody is as open-minded as you, especially a fifty-something woman” Now he was comforting her “I guess, but still! kicking out a young, gorgeous, well-behaved man!”

“She thought I was a prostitute” She felt her eyes growing and the anger boiling inside, she took a couple of deep breaths so she wouldn’t break something “What?! Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but the amount of prejudice!” By now Kyung Soo was amused by her anger, he was grinning meanwhile she felt her eyebrows atrophied into an angry position “Let’s change the subject, you are getting way too work out” He moved his hand from her leg to her back, and slid his other arm over her stomach, engulfing her into a hug. She laid her head against his chest and she felt him dropping a kiss on her head. She started feeling sleepy, feeling calmer with Kyung Soo’s touch and smell. She felt how her body went numb “I think we need to get you to bed”

“Sure roommate” She answered getting up, Kyung Soo followed her close “Are you working tomorrow?”

“No, I got a free day because is my birthday”

“It’s your birthday?!” She took her clothes off and put on her pajama, resting importance to the matter, Kyung Soo was still surprised by the news following her around the bedroom “Why didn’t you tell me?” She got inside her bed, arranging her pillows “I don’t know, is there ever a good timing to say when is your birthday? you ask those things, which reminds me, when is yours?”

“January 12”

“Noted,” She said, tapping the side of her head with one finger. Her eyes were closing. He told her something, but she couldn’t grasp what. 

Moon Soo’s birthday tradition was to stay in her pajamas all morning and answer all the calls from family and friends. Then she would go have lunch by herself to some nice restaurant, then buy herself a gift, and then drinks with her friends.

But this year there were some changes.

She woke up early because Kyung Soo had to be at the restaurant at 8 a.m. She stayed in bed as he got ready. He gave her a good morning kiss, a good birthday hug and another kiss “You have plans for lunch? Let me invite you, I have rehearsal at the club, I’ll be done by 2 ”

“Sure, my pleasure”

“And also, Do you have plans this night?”

“Yeah, my friends and I are going for drinks, Wanna come?”

“I can’t, is Friday, but come home as soon as you are done ok?, and don’t get too drunk, you are going to need all your senses for what I have planned” He wiggled his eyebrows playfully and Moon Soo was stunned “Jesus, what did you plan?”

“It’s a secret”

“Kyung Soo! Tell me! I will have to wait until tonight?!”

“Maybe midnight” He winked at her and run outside her bedroom.

She stared at the door of her room for a long time. She mostly cursed at him inside her head. The curiosity was killing her and he just left like that. She didn’t like to wait.

To distract herself she got up and took a bath.

She used a bath bomb, exfoliated and shaved. Whatever surprise Kyung Soo prepared for her it most definitely involved sex, so she wanted to be ready.

As always, her morning consisted of answering birthday phone calls. She had breakfast and then spend a bit more than an hour choosing what to wear on her birthday date.

The day was really nice, the sun was up, and it wasn’t very cold. She drove listening to music, finding everything on her way prettier than other days.

She arrived at the club earlier than she expected, so she parked in front to wait for Kyung Soo.

She was focused on her phone, so she didn’t see the three guys approaching her car.

Someone knocked at her window and she looked expecting to see Kyung Soo. Her disappointment changed to surprise when she realized who was knocking. She recognized them immediately. It was Kai, Xiumin and Baekhyun.

She didn’t like this position at all. She was seated in her car so of course she was lower, and these three guys were looking at her from above, like some kind of 21st-century Greek goods. She wasn’t afraid to recognize that she was quite intimidated.

But then she remembered that she saw two of them in underwear, and she wasn’t intimidated anymore. It was kind of amusing. Instead of rolling down her window, she decided to go out of her car. The guys took a step back and as soon as she was out, they crossed their arms over their chests, at the same time, which was very comical “Are you Kyung Soo’s sugar mommy?” Asked Baekhyun “Did he called me that?”

“Yes, I mean no, but when we called you that he didn’t correct us, he only smiled at us and then left”

“I can see him doing that, then I guess I…” Kai coughed, a fake one, of course, interrupting her “What are your intentions with Kyung Soo?” His two friends jolted in surprise, but regain composure quickly “My intentions?” The three of them nodded once, at the same time. They were waiting for an answer, and she wanted to answer them. She gave herself a couple of seconds to think about her rejoinder, it wasn’t very hard “My intentions with Kyung Soo are…supporting him in what he does, but also try to take some burdens from his back, take care of him in everything I can and provide him with everything he could need” Once she was done, she took a big puff of air and saw how their faces softened. They remained silent, looking at each other “What? What happened with the men of some minutes ago?”

“Yeah, what happened?” Kyung Soo asked, behind Kai. He cursed, turning around, finding Kyung Soo with a severe look on his eyes, but she was sure it was just his normal stare. Moon Soo could swear she saw fear in the face of his friends.

Kyung Soo walked pass his friends and stood next to Moon Soo “Leave her alone, you already got your answer” His voice was far from annoyed. He was sweet. He was explaining to his son’s that dad was okay, or something like that “We were just worried about you” Said Baekhyun, looking at the floor moving his foot nervously “And I appreciate it, but you already heard and saw that she has good intentions”

“And are you guys like…dating?” Baekhyun demeanor changed from embarrassed to high school girl ready to gossip “We haven’t talked about that yet” He answered, his voice severe “Well, you do realize that you are both holding hands, right?” They both looked at their hands and in fact, Kyung Soo at some point had interlocked his fingers with hers, or maybe she did, the fact was that she hadn’t registered that “Well…sure, anyway, the point is that this is none of your business, Moon Soo and I have a date now, so if you excuse us” He released her hand to push his friends away from them. She opened her door and before she got inside, she waved at them and this time the three of them answered back smiling. Kyung Soo walked around the car and they both got inside the car. Before leaving, Moon Soo pulled down her window and shout at them “I forgot to tell you guys that I am a huge fan of your work!”

“Thank you!” The three of them shouted at the same time, Kai bowing and the rest waving profusely.

The rest of the afternoon passed by very quickly. Lunch with Kyung Soo was very fulfilling. Not only food-wise.

He accompanied her to buy herself a gift. She got a new sound system for her house and bought Kyung Soo a new set of fancy headphones since his were about to die. She insisted on buying him a pink set with cat ears, but he only gave her a dead stare and she grabbed a set of very low-key black headphones.

She went back to her place to take a quick nap and change her outfit. She left Kyung Soo at the subway station and before he went off the car, he reminded her about his surprise “Have a good time with your friends, but remember not to get too drunk and be ready for my surprise”

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that damn surprise”

“It will be damn, yeah” And he went out of the car.

The friends gathering was great. Her friends invite her to a famous bar, the food never stopped coming, and her glass was always full. She did control herself with the booze. Her friends not too much. But it made her happy to see that they were having a good time.

The clock was about to hit midnight when she excused herself from the table. Some of them made a big deal about her leaving, but they were too drunk to insist.

She took a cab back to her place, and as soon as she got in, she wrote to Kyung Soo that she was on her way.

- Great, everything is ready here, don’t use your keys, knock the door –

He answered. She asked the driver to take the fastest route to her place. And he did. So, she paid him more than necessary. She followed Kyung Soo’s instructions. She knocked at her own door, and when she lifted her hand to do so, she realized how nervous she was. Her hand was shaking, and her heart bit was out of control. She knocked twice and she felt him on the other side of the door. The click of the door opening almost made her hyperventilate. “Welcome,” Said Kyung Soo when she walked in. She couldn’t answer, she was appreciating him. He was wearing a tight black t-shirt and equally tight black pants. Once her shoes were off, he grabbed her hand and walked her inside the house. Kyung Soo’s hands were a little bit sweaty, he was nervous, she could tell. He didn’t speak. He only walked ahead of her, until they reached her living room. The lights were dimmed, he had lit some candles and he had made some arrangements in the place. In the center of the room, instead of her modern coffee table, there was a chair “What is this?” She asked, her voice a whisper. She looked in his direction, and Kyung Soo’s outfit now had a new addition. A black cap. The image immediately came to her head. That was the outfit he was wearing the first time she saw him perform “Sit down Moon Soo, I’m going to give you a lap dance” Her world stopped for a long second. And she wasn’t exaggerating.

She wanted to say something. Anything. But the shock was massive, and she couldn’t quite explain how she felt in words. A high pitch scream could be more honest. But Kyung Soo understood it apparently. He chuckled, grabbed her hand and walked her to the chair “I honestly don’t know how to do this, I’m kind of nervous” She squeezed his hand, and made a huge effort to speak out “Don’t worry, you are going to be alright” She could have told him that he didn’t need to do it if he wasn’t comfortable, but she wasn’t a saint, she wasn’t that stupid “I’m just going to copy what my friends do, also, I may have had a couple of drinks, I don’t know why this makes me so nervous, I take my clothes off in front of hundred people! One lap dance can't be that much worst” He was clearly nervous, he stuttered a couple of times, and he was unable to look at her, also, there was this adorable redness on his cheeks, could be the drinks, but most definitely was the embarrassment the entire situation cause him. Instead of saying anything, Moon Soo pulled him into a kiss.

She kissed him slowly, pillowing his lips, caressing his cheeks, nape, shoulders, trying to convey her calm to him, showing him that he was safe with her. This was just between the two of them.

When she parted, Kyung Soo was smiling. His shoulders weren’t stiff anymore, his eyes were less serious, but the redness of his cheeks was still there, and she liked it there “I think I’m ok now”

“Trust me”

“I do” He moved away, and signaled her to sit at the chair. She obeyed, a wide smile on her lips. He moved away, and she grew anxious. She wanted to have him close “I’m going to prepare the music”

“Are we really doing this?”

“Of course, is your birthday gift” He grabbed his phone and walked to her new music system. It took him half a minute to have everything ready, of course, it felt like longer.

The room went silent. She couldn’t even hear her own breathing, mostly because she wasn’t breathing. Kyung Soo walked to her, putting his black cap on “You recognize this outfit?” Of course she did, but she couldn’t say so, she only nodded energetically. He stood in front of her, touching her knees with his body. He bend down, his lips close to her hear “You can’t touch me Moon soo, got it?”

“Really?! I thought I was getting special treatment!” Her voice found a way out, for obvious reasons. This was outrageous. Though Kyung Soo was very amused by it “No, no touching”

“You are bad Do Kyung Soo”

“The worst” He grinned at her, she couldn’t see his eyes because of the lighting and the cap, but she could imagine how dark and dangerous they looked “Are you going to touch me?” She asked hopefully “Of course”

“Ok, good enough” At least she was going to feel him. He moved his attention to his phone, pressed the screen and the music filled the room.

I like that feeling, right before it’s about to get ripe

This distance of just about to touch but not

I don’t think you’re getting any closer

But I like you even more

In this space that’s so perfect

The bit was slow and mellow, the rhythm made her body react. He wasn’t even moving, and she had to hold the chair to keep her hands in line. Kyung Soo walked around her chair, slow, caressing her chest, shoulders, and back on his way. He stood behind her, his hands heavy on her shoulders. He slid them down her arms to her hands. He rested his chin on her shoulder and dropped a kiss on her ear. She closed her eyes, moaning, and she heard his chuckle. Cocky bastard.

I’m tilting myself to you

My balance keeps crumbling

I held it in, I pressed it down so well

But now my heart is spilling out

My heart has passed the afternoon

And now is going toward midnight

Story will be starting tonight, yeah

You’ll be mine

Oh, you’ll be mine

When the song reached its chorus, Kyung Soo moved to the front, passing a leg above hers, capturing her between his body and the chair. His hips started rotating, his hands caressing his chest until they reached his hips. He gave a soft thrust and started rolling his body against her, he wasn’t touching her, but she could feel his heat. She wanted to feel him against her bare skin. It was maddening. But she refused to move. She was going to be obedient. Instead, she bit her lip hard.

It’s a night that’s slightly too early to have hearts fluttering

We’ve been stopped and we need a little something different

We’re about to take a step

That’ll be hard to take back once the night is over

When tomorrow’s sun rises

I’m going to slightly pull on us

Her heart was clenched like a fist. She never even dared to dream about this. Kyung Soo was a stoic man, and his word was definitive. He said no lap dances, so no lap dances. Also, she wasn’t fetishizing him as a stripper. He was her lover who happened to be a stripper, but that didn’t define him.

But Kyung Soo was also a man full of surprises. And now he was dancing for her. And her poor, horny heart was having trouble taking all in. And it got worse when he grabbed the hem of his tight shirt and pulled it up, taking it off without further a due. She yelped in surprise, and that cocky grin appeared again.

I’m tilting myself to you

My balance keeps crumbling

I held it in, I pressed it down so well

But now my heart is spilling out

My heart has passed the afternoon

And now is going toward midnight

Story will be starting tonight, yeah

He grabbed her right hand causing her to jump on her seat. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed her palm, looking straight into her eyes. Her heart clenched harder.

He didn’t release her hand, instead grabbed her wrist with his other hand, and moved it to his chest. She groaned in relief. His skin was hot and incredibly soft. His grip was still strong, he was allowing her to touch him, but he was in control. He kept moving her hand down his chest, till he reached his abdomen. He stopped there for a while. His stomach moved up and down quickly because of his heavy breathing. He was affected too, not as affected as she was, but the excitement was mutual. He kept holding her hand against his stomach, Moon Soo looked up at him and he was staring back at her, his bottom lip between his teeth “Keep moving it down, please Kyung Soo” She begged, “You want to touch me?” His low voice went straight to her core “Yes, please keep moving it down”

You’ll be mine (All the time)

All the time

He grinned at her and slowly slid their hands down over his belt and then right on top of his zipper. She moaned when she felt him, big and hard under her palm. She moved on her seat uncomfortably. Her thighs opened and closed, rubbing against each other. She kept grabbing her t-shirt with her other hand, she just didn’t know what to do with herself “What do you want now? You want me to keep dancing for you, or you want me to fuck you?” She couldn’t answer immediately, and Kyung Soo was amused by how the two option were battling inside her head “I…I don’t know” He laughed, such an adorable laugh compared with this sinful situation “I’m so turn on and I really want you to fuck me, but also I’m loving seeing you dance this close”

“Then is pretty clear, I’m finishing this dance, and then we are fucking in this chair” She agreed, with a small voice.

I’m going to slightly pull on us

I’m tilting myself to you

My balance keeps crumbling

I held it in, I pressed it down so well

He moved away from her suddenly, getting on his knees, pulling her legs open. He grabbed her waist and rubbed his body against her middle, moving up until they were face to face. He was breathing heavily, and his breath fanning her face felt suffocating. He got up, closed her legs, turned around and straddled her lap, giving her his back. He dropped his body to the front, resting his weight on his hands, and started rubbing his still clothed and very hard dick against her. She had a close look at his perfectly formed ass, and her hands were itching to touch him, but they were trapped with his legs. He kept moving his body, rolling his hips, rubbing himself against her.

But now my heart is spilling out, after the long is over

Your name rises in my heart as the sun

Story will be written on your heart

You’ll be mine

He moved up, resting his back against her chest, she brought her lips to his skin, hot and slightly wet. She dropped a kiss on his shoulder blade, tentatively, and heard him sight in content. He reached back to hold her hands and brought them to his chest. He moved them up and down a couple of times, slowly, to please himself, and to torture her probably. She was losing it, and biting his shoulder looked like a good way to release some tension, but before she could do it, he was gone. He stood up suddenly, re-arranged his pants and turned around, grinning “Are you okay?” He asked, with a tiny bit of mock in his voice. Not enough to annoy her, but enough to make her want to erase that grin with a filthy kiss “Very, please keep dancing” She answered, more like begged. Kyung Soo walked behind her and moved her hair to one side, so he could have clean access to her neck. She shivered violently when he dropped a light kiss on his shoulder and then whispered against her ear “I love how open you are” Immediately she looked down at her legs. Her thighs were closed tight, trying to control the urgency of her crotch “No, not that silly, I mean you, you always say how you feel, you are an open book, most of the time” He bit her earlobe playfully, and she was so grateful that he was doing this under his own rules and he was touching her, otherwise she would have gone insane by now. She was on the verge. And Kyung Soo with his furtive touch fueled that insanity but tamed down the fire burning all over her body. Suddenly she felt very selfish. She knew Kyung Soo didn’t do lap dances, but he better didn’t start now. She wasn’t going to share this with anyone. She was ok, more than ok, with him dancing, but this, this amount of teasing, sensuality, and confidence had to remain just to herself. This was her Kyung Soo acting like D.O only for her.

Her Kyung Soo.

Was he hers?

Kyung Soo stopped whatever line of thought she was entering when he moved to her front and pulled off his pants. With no warning. Not teasing hip movement or fondling. Just pulled. The sound of the Velcro resounded on her ears, and the view of his naked legs and tight briefs knocked the air out of her lungs. She was so used to that view, whenever they had sex, when he got ready to leave to work, when he walked around her kitchen preparing something. It was so common, but in this context, it looked new. 

He took one, two and three short steps back. Very slowly. Like a feline. He sat down on his knees, breathing heavily, resting his hands on his thighs, his stare fixed on her. She could see his hard-on, the faint shine of his sweat on his chest and forehead, and the darkness of his eyes. She wasn’t the only one enjoying this. It was clear. Kyung Soo was getting a kick from feeling this wanted, from having this control. And she was going to show him how she was enjoying it too. As soon as the show was over, she was going to find permanent residence between his legs. She was going to suck the hell out of that hard-on. She moved her eyes back to his. The music was over. There was silence, only their breathings were audible. Quite loudly.

Kyung Soo licked his lips a couple of times and run his hand over his face. He reached ahead and grabbed her chair, pulling it to him, capturing her again between his body and the chair. His naked chest felt hot trough the fabric of her pants, she wanted to open her legs wider, so she could feel him closer where her body was burning the most “What do you want?” He asked, his hands caressing her thighs “I want to touch you, I want to suck you off”

“Do it then”

“Really?” He didn’t answer, he got up and gestured her to pull down his underwear “Go ahead Moon Soo, I know you are great at it” With firm hands, she grabbed his black briefs and pulled them down in one go. She moved her face closer to him, thirsty.

She didn’t go for teasing licks or any kind of foreplay, she knew he liked to be touched, his abdomen, groin, and thighs. But this time she would have to skip all that, for her own sake. She immediately attached her mouth to the tip of his dick, sucking hard. Both moaned at the same time. His hands went to her head, holding her hair softly. She moved her hands to his thighs, but stopped halfway, Kyung Soo said no touching, at least not without his permission “Go ahead, you can touch me now” And she did.

She held on to his thighs for dear life. Moon Soo set to first tease playfully, licking his hard cock a few times before swallowing it whole. His breath hitched before he let out a long growl, rolling his hips to slide deeper on to Moon Soo’s mouth. The sounds he made and his fingers pulling her head spurred her more. She hollowed her cheeks, sucking harder, bobbing her head faster. Kyung Soo didn’t know what to do with himself “Moon Soo, stop! I’m going to come” She released him with a loud pop “Do it, come, do it in my mouth” She urged him, drooling, all shame she could feel was long gone “No, I’m going to fuck you, I need to be inside you”

“Kyung Soo, you are driving me crazy”

“Come here” He pulled her up by her arms and made her stand in front of him. Quickly, he removed her clothes and underwear and finished by taking off his last piece of clothing. He pulled her body close to his, hands moving from her arm to his nape, and Moon Soo felt how the hairs of her arms stood on its end. She pulled him closer by the waist, feeling his hard cock against her stomach. Moon Soo closed her eyes briefly when Kyung Soo’s hot breath touched her skin, trying to calm herself down. He stroked her nape and leaned in more and more until their lips met. Moon Soo gave him easy access for his tongue to explore. She took his kiss greedily, sucking his upper lip, biting his lower lip, feeling his teeth capturing her lower lip as their hands roamed each other bodies. Both of them were panting heavily after resurfacing from the kiss.

He grabbed her face firmly but kept caressing her cheeks tenderly. Quickly, he changed positions with her and sat at the chair, bringing her with him, making her sit on his lap “Ride me”

“Here?” He nodded, his eyes dark with lust “Here, come on, ride me” He framed her face as she leaned in to kiss him, arranging her body on top of him, moving her chest closer to his, sitting on his thick thighs comfortably. Her hands carded through Kyung Soo’s hair and her tongue ran along his lower lip before slipping inside Kyung Soo’s mouth. She could still taste the alcohol he drank to gain confidence, there was a sweetness also, or she could just idealizing the kiss. He pulled back and his hands slid down her neck to her chest, moving around her torso, his eyes following their path appreciatively. His lips found purchase on a patch of skin between her breast, and he sucked gently before grazing his teeth along the same patch.

Moon Soo gasped loudly, fisting her hands in Kyung Soo’s dark hair painfully. Although he didn’t complain. His hands slid down Moon Soo’s chest to rest on her hips, trying to pull her closer, closer than she already was. It seemed impossible to her. She was already able to feel the heat coming from his skin, if she allowed herself to exaggerate a little bit, she felt the beat of her heart against her own chest. But Kyung Soo needed her closer, and there was one way to fulfill his wishes. She stood up, amused by Kyung Soo angry exhale, which sounded almost like a snarl “We need a condom, I’ll be back” Before she could leave, Kyung Soo grabbed her wrist, pulling her back to him “No need to go far, there’s one on my pants” She looked down to the floor, and Kyung Soo’s pants were resting next to her right foot, torn apart, but still useful. She fetched the piece of foil that peeked from inside one of his pockets and incorporate back on to his lap. Kyung Soo rested his hands on her knees as she was putting his condom on, focused on her task. He kept his eyes closed, his lower lip tightly captured between his teeth, he was very sensitive apparently. He reached for her face and catch her lower lip between his teeth. Moon Soo grunted at the pain and moved closer to him, so he could have his much-needed skinship. Kyung Soo dragged his lips up her jaw to her ear and nipped her earlobe, she felt her body melt on his lap. His hands grabbed her thighs, gave them a couple of squeezes and then moved back to her bottom to pull her closer to his dick. She felt him hard against her inner thigh. She moaned, involuntarily, and Kyung Soo grinned as she threw her arms around his neck, trying to calm her whimpers by kissing him. Kyung Soo bucked his hips up, looking for some friction, and trying to get more moans out of her, which was quite an easy job “Fuck me already Kyung Soo, I’m desperate”

“You are on top, help yourself” She cursed at him for always being a sexy asshole in this kind of situations. He ran his hands up Moon Soo’s sides as she grabbed him and helped herself. Kyung Soo’s frame shivered and soon they were pressed together skin to skin “You are so wet, is this because of my lap dance?” She only nodded, focused on finding a good rhythm with the movement of her hips “So do I get a nice tip?” Moon Soo couldn’t stop her giggles “This is your tip” She said, biting his earlobe. Kyung Soo let his mouth wander down her chest, stopping to tease her nipples with his teeth. He sucked the area gently and then bit down as he bucked his hips, the chair squeaking against the floor. Moon Soo was pleased to see the dark shade of pink on his cheeks when she pulled apart to get a bit of air in her lungs. She ran her hands up Kyung Soo’s chest, enjoying the feel of his soft skin and the warmth of it. She loved how solid he felt under her hands. She scraped her nails down his chest lightly, engraving in her head the sounds his mouth made. Moon Soo never stopped moving her hips, the more Kyung Soo moaned or grunted, the faster her hips moved, looking for relief. Kyung Soo grunted again, squeezing her hips hard “Go slow please, or I’m not going to be able to hold it”

“So what?”

“I want to make this last, is that too bad?” He finished with a deep moan when Moon Soo snapped her hips again. Her pace went slow, Kyung Soo was never one to have a quickie, and she quite liked that, so she complied with his request. She rocked her hips forward, feeling every inch of Kyung Soo as he also moved his hips, meeting her halfway. He ran both hands up Moon Soo’s back and made her yelp in surprise when he suddenly pulled her to him, capturing her lips in a wet sloppy kiss, his hands resting heavily on her shoulder blades. Moon Soo wanted to move her hips fast and strong, but she contained herself. She was an obedient lover.

Kyung Soo’s kiss had her moaning nonstop, every breath ended in a moan. And she couldn’t avoid pinching his nipple in reprimand when she felt him smile against her lips. His victory was short-lived as Moon Soo decided to speed things up, moving her chest away from his, resting her hands on his knees, exposing herself to him. Kyung Soo moaned at the view, his eyes moving slowly from her face to her chest and then where both were connected. He thrust in, hard and repeatedly. Moon Soo felt her hands grabbing into his knees as claws so she wouldn’t fall back. Kyung Soo moved one of his hands to her lower back and the other to her clit, rubbing circles with his strong fingers. She felt herself clench harder around him “Fuck Kyung Soo!” She cursed involuntarily, and the sound of his chuckle irritated her just a tiny bit “I changed my mind, come now, I wanna see it, I wanna see you” Both of their breaths were coming in pants. She moved, taking Kyung Soo out of her and took a couple of seconds to move back, having him inside again. Her entire body buzzed to that feeling, her muscles felt like cotton and when she closed her eyes she saw lights of all colors. For some reason, she felt more sensitive than other times. Maybe it was the position, or the alcohol from before, or the lap dance. Probably it was all of them combined. She was so close, but before, she wanted to make true a small fantasy of hers “Come on me Kyung Soo” He looked at her puzzled “I want your cum on me, here” She completed, pointing at her mound. He locked eyes with her, and she saw them grow dark. His lips formed a perfect smirk and he whispered a “My pleasure” Moon Soo got down to work, her hips rolling, kind of imitating his movements from before. And it was clear that he quite liked that “Touch yourself, I wanna see you” She obeyed immediately, she knew just what to do to get the release she and Kyung Soo needed. He looked at her hypnotized, his hips were bucking against her now, softly but decisively. One of those thrusts overflowed her. She came violently. Her core shaking, her moans loud, but not loud enough. She grabbed on to Kyung Soo’s knees stronger, but he didn’t complain, so she rode her pleasure to the end, letting its fire wash over her. Kyung Soo didn’t wait for one more second and reached down to take his condom off, tossing it to the side. He positioned himself and rubbed his erection a couple of times before his orgasm hit him strongly. His cum formed irregular patterns on her skin, and it felt hot and sinfully pleasurable. Kyung Soo kept pumping himself until she stopped him to do it by herself. His dick was growing soft, but it still felt heavy against her hand. She leaned forward, back to her place against Kyung Soo’s chest, and pressed open-mouthed kisses to his neck and shoulders, then finally crushed their mouths together in a bruising kiss. He grunted into her mouth as he circled his arms around her waist, hugging her tightly “So you really enjoyed the lap dance” He commented, his voice muffled by her skin “So much”

“Happy birthday…should I start doing it at the club?” She knew he was joking, but leaving things clear couldn’t hurt anybody “No, that’s only for me, got it?”

“Loud and clear ma’am” He nuzzled her neck, sucking enough to leave a couple of marks there “Am I gonna get this treatment too someday?” He asked, moving his head to the other side of her neck “You want me to give you a lap dance?”

“I would love too”

“Then wait for your birthday”

“Next year then” Moon Soo let it pass, she was confident enough to give him a lap dance. She wasn’t the best dancer, but she knew how to undulate her body and that was all it takes. But one thing that stayed with her during the rest of the night, meanwhile he carried her to her room, to fuck again, and then when he got with her in the tub, was how he so easily made plans for next year.

He was planning to stay around for a long time apparently.

And her chest vibrated with glee.

Bosses were betrayers. That’s for sure.

Hers knew she took her day off to celebrate her birthday. And that always implied a hangover, maybe a headache, or just the honest need of rest. But the bastard told her to go back to work at 8 am. An hour that was simply ridiculous.

Her alarm was set to ring at 6 am.

She went to bed at 3 am.

It wasn’t weariness what didn’t allow her to get up though. Well, that too, but she was used to functioning tired.

The reason for her grogginess was the professional cuddling that Kyung Soo was performing on her. Her body was cocooned by Kyung Soo’s with engineering perfection. His chin resting against her head, her back warmed by his chest, her butt like a puzzle piece fit against his dick and their legs were entangled, sharing warmth since their covers were lost somewhere. He was awake too, she felt the change in his breathing, And the hand that was resting against one of her boobs tightened its grip “You can’t get up?”

“No” He hummed behind her, rubbing his body against her “You shouldn’t…you really have to?”

“Yeah, I have to be at the hospital at 8 o’clock” He stayed silent for a couple of seconds, thinking about something. “Wanna come so you can have some energy” He proposed, his hand fondling her breast and moving down with a clear agenda “Will love to, but I don’t have time to have sex”

“No, no sex, I was thinking about getting you off”

“That I can do” He helped her turn on to her back, his right arm pillowing her head, his left hand already getting under her underwear. There was no time to be lost. His fingers massaged her with experience. They already knew what to do and how to get her moaning in a couple of minutes. Most of the time she kept her eyes closed in complete bliss. But when she opened them, she found him looking at her fondly. Of course, his eyes were dark, and he kept licking and biting his lips, but there was this spark of something in his eyes. As if this was more than just getting your lover off. He was caring about her. Or at least it felt like that, and she felt so…so…

Kyung Soo thought it was the right time to finger fuck her. And he was never wrong. He used his index and middle finger to get in and massage her, and her thumb remained stuck to her clit, pressing and rubbing. Her orgasm hit her quickly, and very strongly. She couldn’t open her eyes nor close her mouth. Her lower back lifted from the mattress, her hands grasping whatever was around them. Normally her body would go down after a minute, maybe two. But after her body was back to a relaxed position, with Kyung Soo’s hands roaming her, helping her to stay calm, her heartbeat remained strong and fast. The drumming on her ears was still loud and her limbs were numb. And then it happened.

Kyung Soo kissed her temple, tenderly, innocently. But her body amplified the feelings and emotions that this simple act caused on her.

She felt her heart explode. As exaggerated and repetitive as that could sound. It just exploded. And her blood was rushing all over her body. Dizziness, trembling, ragged breathing, partial loss of consciousness. She was feeling all that, and more. 

She was hyperventilating. She sat up abruptly, a thing that didn’t help her current situation. She brought one of her hands to her chest and the other to her neck, checking her pulse. And it was not ok “What happened?” He asked her clearly worried. She didn’t dare to look at him “My heart rate, Jesus, look!” She grabbed his hand and put it on her chest. His eyes opened wide, a familiar expression that was one of her favorites. Her heart rate went up immediately “Are you sure you are ok?”

“Yeah, don’t worry…I just, it was a lot, I came and then I had this thought and then you kissed me and my heart just…it feels so weird still”

“What thought you had?” His voice was so low, and his eyes so serious. She knew her answer would dictate things from now on, and he knew that too “Uh?” Was the only thing she could form “Don’t act dumb, what thought you had?” He insisted “I don’t want to say it”

“Say it so I can say my thoughts too”

“I was just…I came to realize that I like you a lot” The hand he had against her chest move down to her waist and he moved his head closer to hers, half facing her “You have like me for a while now, That’s why we have been doing this for a long time” He kissed her shoulder snuggling closer to her “Is it more than that?” He asked with confidence “Yeah it is”

“Say it”

“I think I love you” He relaxed next to her. He looked so confident before her confession, but now it was clear he was alleviated “Well, on my side, I know I love you” There it was again the tachycardia “Why didn’t you say anything?” She asked him, flustered “I don’t think we were ready” His hand kept rubbing patterns against her body, and his eyes looked calm, which gave her some rest, although his confection still had her shook “And now we are? Ready I mean”

“Sure”

“Says who?”

“I say” He smiled at her and kissed her briefly. She giggled shyly. The shyest she had felt since she met him. Before she could kiss him too, she had to confess too “I love you Kyung Soo”

“Me too Moon Soo” She kissed him this time, but quickly he dominated the kiss, sinking his hands in her hair, trying to push her back to the bed, succeeding.

She called in sick.

And Kyung Soo skipped rehearsing.

The End

[agentxthirteen]

Thinking Liberally Newsletter 1/23/17

Party like it's 1984:

If you have twitter, check whom you follow. Some people were following Trump, Melania, Pence, or Spicer without their knowledge. Twitter claimed it was a bug from when Obama moved to @BarackObama, but there are reports that people who never followed the @POTUS, @FLOTUS, etc accounts are now following them. (By the way, Obama's tweets as president are archived at @POTUS44.)

Did you notice how Trump got an unusual amount of applause at his first press conference? The press attested that Trump had employees in the wings to clap and laugh at his jokes. The same thing happened when he gave a speech at the CIA - in front of the Memorial Wall, no less. For which Trump is drawing a bit of fire. BTW, correlation is not causation, but morale at the CIA is allegedly at an all-time low. Oh, and look. Here's an article confirming that Trump brought a cheering section to his speech, and that relations between Trump and US intelligence agencies are now worse than before.

Also, beware: When the National Parks Service tweeted comparative photos of Trump and Obama's inaugurations, they were barred from tweeting again - even if it was only about weather updates.

After obvious lies - or, as Kellyanne Conway says, "alternate facts" - one quote to keep in mind is from George Orwell: "The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." (By the way, Sean Spicer is getting flack from other press secretaries - including Hillary Clinton's press secretary, Brian Fallon. Of course, the press knows the Spicer is a liar and has been for a long time.) Some have noted that the administration is aware that everyone knows they're lying - their constant lies are a way of saying they don't care. The best way to combat it? Keep demanding the truth - if nothing else, they'll have to waste time lying or convincing people that no one cares about the lies. I particularly love this tweet pointing out one of the lies. Keep it up, media!

Oh, and some people have noticed that Facebook posts critical of Trump have had privacy settings changed- these people have noticed that their posts can now only be seen by themselves.

The press was banned from Trump's DC hotel during the inauguration week.

Now might be a good time to point out you can download the Labor Department's Women's Bureau's resources in case they disappear in the future.

The Trumps evidently ignore the press and the press's requests for comments until it's time for a retraction.

Companies are already careful of what announcements they make, even recycling old press releases, to avoid pissing off the Don.

Links to inform and terrify:

As you can imagine, it's been an INCREDIBLY busy week for news. First, the terrifying stuff:

Day One of Trump's administration, he:

Signed an executive order to "ease the burdens of Obamacare." Also in the article: He signed paperwork to elevate James Mattis and John Kelly to his defense secretary and homeland security secretary, respectively.

Reversed Obama's mortgage fee cuts, leading to this bit of regret from a Trump supporter...

Trump caused a lot of concern when he scrubbed the info on the White House site, including policies to on healthcare, civil rights, and LGBTQ sections. This is normal for administrations. Two things caused concern when material appeared on the site again: the promotions for Melania's jewelry line and Trump's "America First" action plan.

Stated, through his administration, that environmental regulations should be cut back to increase American wages. Pretty sure it 1) doesn't work like that, and 2) those figures he used to justify getting rid of regulations on clean water, etc, are wrong. The Atlantic actually focused on whether or not regulations kill jobs in this piece.

A new budget proposes no funding whatsoever for National Endowment for the Arts and National Endowment for the Humanities and ending federal appropriations for the Corporation of Private Broadcasting. There's still a chance Trump won't see it through, but so far, he's shown a higher regard for the Heritage Foundation's opinion than the American people's. And unfortunately, he's using the Heritage Foundation's dream budget as a template.

He also may cut funding to Violence Against Women Programs, based on that same Heritage Foundation dream template. This seems like a good idea to point out that Trump has nominated more men accused of sexual assault to his cabinet than he has women.

In terrifying things that you may regret watching, here's Trump blowing a kiss to FBI Director James Comey. You may remember that Comey is supposed to be investigating Trump. He was much more enthusiastic about investigating the Clintons - and has been since 2001. Maybe if Bill had blown him a kiss...

The lawsuits against Trump begin. One from Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) to stop Trump from profiting from foreign businesses, and another from the ACLU.

After trying to help boost Trump's support among black voters, Kanye West is deemed not "traditionally American" enough to perform at the inauguration.

We have Betsy Devos's ethics report, and the vote to confirm her has been postponed. Rex Tillerson, though, is inching closer, so get your activists hats on!

Yeah, Trump's inaugural cake was a copy of Obama's. On purpose!

Only 28 of 690 appointments nominated so far. The thought of what will happen this week is terrifying. And, that's only the appointments. As for everyone else... Actually, the outgoing administration has no idea if anyone in the Trump administration has even read the briefing reports Obama's crew put together.

Trump's DOJ has determined that hiring his son-in-law is not against anti-nepotism laws.

Anti-vaxxer Dr. Andy Wakefield attended Trump's inaugural ball. I'm afraid to offer the odd on him soon being offered a cabinet position...

That inaugural speech that Trump wrote himself (in the Mar-A-Lago hallway, no less)? Yeah, not so much. (Also, sharpies? Really? After the unmarked filing folders at the press conference, I can safely say this administration has a prop problem.) And in case you were curious where the phrase "America First" came from and why it was so predominant, here. Warning for if you don't like Nazis and the KKK, that link has a lot about them. Given who wrote the speech, I suppose that goes without saying. (And no, Donald Trump isn't writing the new @POTUS tweets - those are from a "former" fake news promoter.)

The administration is so organized that Corey Lewandowski had trouble getting into the inauguration.

The inauguration parade could have been so much worse. The sparsely-attended event could have included military tanks. (My favorite review of the parade: "It's almost like a funeral.")

Trump has yet to resign from his businesses.

Trump's political career got started with the birther lie. Bill Moyers and four historians discuss the reasoning behind the lie and how it was allowed to fester.

Meet Norman Vincent Peale, Trump's spiritual guide behind Trump's self-confidence. (Or as some could argue, delusion. If only he hadn't won!)

Say hello to Steve Mnuchin, the man who "forgot" to disclose $100 million in assets. He might soon be our Treasury Secretary! Speaking of people Trump is working with, meet Stephen Miller, one of the people helping write Trump's speeches. And we can't forget John Gore, who defended discriminatory laws in North Carolina. He's on his way to the Civil Rights Division at the Department of Justice!

DC contractors for Trump's DC hotel say they're owed millions.

Donald Trump has a Secretary of Agriculture in mind. Surprise, he's an old white guy, who is also Georgia's first Republican governor since Reconstruction. Sonny Purdue! You might remember him from the time he led a prayer on the Capitol steps for rain. (Is this a good time to point out it started raining as soon as Trump began his inaugural speech? No? Warning: autoplay in the link.) 

The Endangered Species Act is also at risk.

This Washington Post article about Trump and accessibility is an interesting read.

Some notes on what mammograms and IUDs would cost in each state if we lose the ACA.

And now, some high notes:

Not only is Trump the least popular incoming president we've had in living memory, but protesting him is now one of the most popular things to do! It wasn't a local phenomenon, either - in addition to at least 633 cities in the US (the folks in Mentone, AL were not included in that number), there were Women's March protests all over the world. Crowd scientists report that there were three times as many people attending protests than Trump's inauguration, and that was just in DC! (The viewing numbers for the inauguration are in, and Trump also got lower ratings than Obama, Reagan, and Jimmy Carter. He is, naturally, upset about this and thinks everyone - i.e., the media - is lying.)

Some signs from marches (warning: autoplay, so don't watch at work)

Some pictures from marches around the world - including Antarctica!

Video of march from DC rooftop (warning: video!)

More photos from around the world - gorgeous!

More photos from around the world. You really get the two impressions from this set - 1) Trump is unpopular, if not outright hated, worldwide, and 2) Bush's place in history has officially improved.

Carrie Fisher's legacy lives on! (The link includes a speech by Trump you'll WANT to see!)

Charlie Brotman might not have kept his job as the inaugural announcer thanks to the 45th president, but he certainly had plans on the 21st!

READ. THIS.

The Women's March is still getting final numbers in, but is already one of the largest protests in US history!

A lot of media outlets have other things to focus on, so I'd like to draw your attention to the Sikhs handing out water bottles and food at the protests.

Fan of the march? They already have some action topics for Monday. Trump will likely try to avoid seeing pictures, but Congress can't ignore so many demands to save ACA and stop Jeff Sessions! (I don't think us leaving the UN is a viable threat right now, but the first two definitely are!)

Yes, the marches got noticed - by the media, at least.

Oh, by the way - there was an anti-gay protest outside Comet Ping Pong - they were soon drowned out by pro-LGBTQ protesters! Anti-protests included a dance party! (Dance party protests seem to be popular at the moment, actually...)

No arrests, despite millions of protesters across the nation!

Someone who allegedly knew Richard Spencer in school shares some character insight that might cheer you up!

Trump's transition to settling in at the @POTUS account is sad - if you're a fan of his, at least. Everyone else, have fun reading about it!

Despite Trump and Kellyanne insisting that no one cares about Trump's taxes, the official White House petition for Trump to release his tax returns has surpassed the threshold required for an official response!

There's already a creature named after Donald Trump. Neopalpa donaldtrumpi has a golden head and small genetalia.

Every book Obama recommended during his Presidency. And speaking of Obama, he's not done.

In conclusion, Edmund Burke once said, "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." This country and its citizens' allies around the world have shown that they're going to do something. The American people have always had a stubborn streak when it came to being told what to do, and at this point in time, we have more people interested in resistance than we ever had. Even in the American Revolution, only roughly a third of the country supported independence. Only around 20% of the population voted for Trump, and many of those voters are coming to regret it as he keeps up his Trumpness.

So take heart. Yes, there's a long, hard, bumpy road ahead of us, but we are not walking it alone, and we won't stop walking until we get our country back. As others have noted, it isn't enough just to protest Trump, we must defy him. At least we know we won't be doing it alone.