#buck is a giant but tommy could eat him for breakfast

[captain-flint]

i don't even watch 911 but buck and tommy holding each others massive man paws. go on my bi weewoo man get your hand grabbed by a big dude you'll love it

😭😭😭 GET HELD MF

[crue-sixx]

The Game of Life

Title: The Game of Life

Author: tiddly-winx

Summary: A prequel to The FUNeral.  You're an outstanding character when you meet a charming blonde and his friends.

Warnings: swearing, death and sickness, drug use

It was Christmas and you were spending it alone at the Troubadour.  Your family didn't want you near them (save for your sister Kathy, 15 years old at the time).  You rolled the blood packet meant for Halloween in your mouth waiting for some douchebag to tell you those words you heard so often.  It didn't take too long for him to show up.  Of course he was hammered when he slurred "Heeeeeey baybeh" he stumbled over to you "Wha's a pretty thang like you doin' all alone at Christmas?"

You brushed him off with "Lookin' to get laid" you rolled eyes, you had no intention of sleeping with someone too drunk to know what he was doing.

"I can do that, sweetheart" he put his arm around you "but you'd look much prettier if you smiled!"

That was the moment you'd been waiting for, so you bit down on the blood packet and pushed the fake blood out of your mouth, your teeth stained red, dripping onto the best ugly Christmas sweater you had in your arsenal.  He recoiled and left you alone.  You were relieved and wiped your face with  your sleeve. and went along with your business.

At least you tried to go on with your business, but a voice behind you said "Hot damn girl! That was awesome!" you were annoyed at this but you turned to see four grown men dressed in glam rock costumes and more make-up than the prostitutes that worked the corners.

You glanced over and said "Thanks,  It's a little late for Halloween don't you think?"

"We're the band!" the blonde one laughed, taking the comment in stride. "We're Motley Crue!"

"Huh" you said, unimpressed.  You hadn't been paying attention to the music.  You had been busy tinkering with a music box you had been working on-your job was an apprenticeship at a clock maker's shop.  Music boxes were your hobby, and people were willing to pay you for them.  This one was almost finished-all you had to do was fix the music source and paint it to the buyer's specifications and it would be done.

"You don't seem too enthusiastic" said one with black hair, all of it covering his face.  All you could see was his nose, mouth and chin.  

"Sorry" you were sincere in your apology "I just have a deadline to get this thing done by" you backed off and showed them.

"So why the fuck did you come out if you had to get it done?" the tall one said, confused.

"I didn't want to stay cooped up in my apartment at Christmas" you said, which was true.

"Tell ya what" the blonde one said "Take it back to your place then come on over to our place and party with us!"  he put an arm around you "We'll give ya a Christmas you'll never forget" he winked.

"Sorry, not interested in that" you winked back.  You knew what he meant "but I'll come over and get bombed with  you!"

"That sounds cool!" the tall one said "I'm Tommy, this is Nikki" he patted the bassist's head, to which he growled "blondie over here's Vince and the old dude" he jutted his thumb to a man who couldn't be more than a few years older than they were "the man from Mars, Mick Motherfuckin' Mars!" the man in question gave a shy wave while nursing a bottle of vodka.

"I'm Y/N" you shook hand with them.  You're place wasn't that far from their apartment so you climbed through the window like you'd seen other people do.  Vince greeted you and helped you inside.

The whole apartment was popping with activity, people drinking, snorting, shooting up and fucking all around you.  You didn't mind and joined in even, slapping some people's naked asses.  "So why were you alone on Christmas?" Tommy asked "Don't you have a family?"

"Well yeah but they don't like me" you said, them telling you that you were the biggest mistake they'd ever made "guess they thought having me and getting married would save their relationship..."

Tommy looked away and said "Sorry..."

"Nah, I do have a little sister that likes me" you smiled, Kathy being the only one of your siblings that you actually liked.  "When she turns 18 she's leaving my parents and coming to live with me".

"So you were an oopsie baby?" Nikki asked, Tommy shooting him a glare.

"Yep. Pretty much" you laughed, not taking offense at all.

Nikki chuckled "Yeah, me too" he extended his hand for a fist bump and you obliged him.  He then offered you a line of coke, to which you happily snorted it up with one giant inhalation.

The next day, you woke up on their couch in the clothes you had on the night before.  You stretched out and saw that a few other bodies where strewn around the floor and beds.  Mick was the only one awake and trying to make breakfast with the filthiest equipment ever.  You stopped him and said "Let's go to Denny's.  My treat" you winked at him.

While you were eating, you asked "Why're you hanging around with those three wild animals?  You seem way calmer than they are?"

"They're my band" he smiled warmly.  "Though they may act like stupid rug monkeys most of the time, they're kinda like my family" you had to laugh at that, it was just too cute.

You decided to invite them over for dinner a few weeks after meeting them, on the condition they stay out of  your room where you kept the music boxes that you were working on.  They agreed and you had ordered Chinese, you couldn't cook to save your life and you wouldn't offend them by forcing them to eat your disgusting food.  You heard a knock at your door and thinking it was the delivery guy you opened it, only to see one of your buyers demanding an unfinished product.

"It's not finished yet" you told him "I will give you a call when it is and you can come get it then" you tried to shut the door but he pushed his way in your apartment "Get out asshole!"

"I ordered from you three days ago!  It should be done by now!"

"I told you it would be at least a month and you agreed to my terms!" you shouted at him.

"For three hundred bucks, I think you need to work harder!  You ain't cheap!  My daughter's birthday is tomorrow!"

"You should have thought about that and commissioned me a month ago then if you wanted it done by tomorrow!"

"I want you to do it for free, since you're so slow!"

You had heard this argument before from people who want your music boxes for free.  "The materials and parts needed alone cost about 50 bucks, plus the time it takes me to build these things covers the whole price!  What I do with one box in a month took me years to learn how to do.  That's why I only charge $150 up front and $150 upon completion. I will NOT spend all my time working on YOUR box alone.  I do have other customers, a job and a life outside of this. If you're unsatisfied I will give you the materials and you can make the damn box your own fuckin' self!" You did have a day job at the clock shop that paid your rent but this was something you enjoyed doing.

"I can just go to the toy store and buy one better!" he huffed "Since you don't want my business, I'll spread all shit about you and your boxes and tell people not to buy from you!"

"Whatever asshole!" you showed him out and into the arms of your dinner guests.

"This guy botherin' you Y/N?" Vince asked, taking a strong grip on the guys shoulder.

"Nah" you waved them off "Just another douche bag who wants my product for free" you had told them about people who refused to pay you for your boxes and how it happens more often that you'd like it to.  "Come on in, the food's on it's way!"

You had a great dinner and let them sleep over, Vince and Nikki sleeping in your bed with you, all of you too hammered to be fucking at all.  Tommy had taken up your couch while Mick was snoozing away in the chair.

A few years passed and the steady stream of people wanting your music boxes helped with the expenses.  The band had made it big, and they were some of your best customers.  They paid you much more than you asked for, you finding ways to slip their extra money back in their wallets.  Gifts for their wives, girlfriends or children you took extra care with these ones.

You eventually bought a house right by Vince's place, you secretly having a small crush on him.  The view was to die for, and you just loved the location.  You were fond of his wife Sharice and his little girl Skylar, you babysitting when they needed a date night.  Tonight you were working in the workshop when your doorbell rang.  "Who could it be at this hour?"

You were expecting one of your friends but were totally shocked to see four year old Skylar on your doorstep, the poor thing crying her eyes out.  "Skylar!  What's wrong sweetheart?" you took her in and gave her a cup of hot chocolate.

"Mommy and Daddy are fighting" she sniffled.  "It woke me up and scared me...so I went to a quiet place..."

You were livid at her parents, but you knew better than to take it out on the child.  You let her sleep in your bed and after you knew she was asleep you picked up the phone and called Vince's house.  Sharice answered the phone with "FOR FUCK'S SAKE WHAT?!" you pulled the phone away from your face until she was done screaming.

"Where's Skylar?" you asked, the other end of the line going silent.

"She's sleeping" Sharice snapped.

"I think you need to check" you advised "and put the phone in between you two.  I need you both to hear this" you waited until you heard Vince comment that she wasn't in her room. "You both here?"

"Yeah were here" Sharice was panicking "Do you know where Skylar is?!"

"She's over here" you said flatly "she showed up at my house about an hour ago in her night clothes crying.  She said your fighting woke her up and scared her" Vince and Sharice looked at each other, them not even seeing her leave the house.

"Can she stay over there for a few days while we try to sort things out?" Vince asked you, him on the verge of tears.

"Sure" you said, knowing all of Vince's vices and not daring to judge him on them.  You had your own problems, and couldn't nag at him.  It was like the pot calling the kettle black.

"I'll stop by later with some clothes and her toothbrush" Sharice added.  You knew they were headed for a divorce, but the kid being dragged into it was unfair.

You were playing tea party with her when all of a sudden, Skylar burst into tears.  "Hey now, honey" you hugged her to you "what's wrong?"

"Do Mommy and Daddy hate me?" she asked in her tears.

"What?!  Honey, no!" you brushed her tears away "What on earth gave you that idea?"

"Me staying with you" she blew her nose on your shirt. "Why don't they see me?"

You were contemplating on how to explain what was going on with Vince and Sharice to their four year old.  It wasn't your business to tell so you said "Mommy and Daddy are going through a rough patch and they're trying to work it out so you all can be happy..."  she wouldn't be able to understand that Vince had a problem with keeping his dick in his pants or drugs and alcohol out of his body.

"You sure?" she sniffled.

"I'm positive" you said and booped her nose, making her giggle.  A few days later, Vince came to your door with a sorrowful look in his eyes.

Skylar jumped on him, and gave him a big hug "Did you and Mommy work things out?"

He was trying to fake smile for the sake of his child "Not yet, baby.  We're trying..." he looked at you and tears were rolling down his face.  He quickly wiped them away when the little girl looked at him.  "Come on, Mommy's in the car" he gathered her things and before he went out the door he said quietly "I'll be over later...I need a place to stay a few days..."

"Sure Vinny" you said quietly.  You waited for him, and he came back a few hours later.  He was on his way to being wasted but you cut him off, locking your liquor cabinet.

"We're gettin' a divorce" he cried on your counter "I fucked up royally..."

"Hey" you rubbed his back "she's not trying to keep you from seeing Sky, right?"

"No, she's not" he answered,  "I'll have her every other weekend and she'll stay with Sharice the rest of the time.." he was shaking, Motley Crue about to go on tour and he wouldn't be able to see his daughter for a while.

You couldn't say anything, now was not the time for words.  You needed just to be there for him.  

A few months of uneventful bliss later was when you started to notice a change in yourself.  You were having headaches more often, and they were increasing in severity and duration.  Your sister Kathy had been living with you and she too noticed.  It was the day you had a seizure while working on a music box, that prompted Kathy to drag you to the doctor.

You hated doctors, but your life would change forever.  You had been given a diagnosis of brain cancer, and had the options of how you wanted to do your treatments.  You opted to go in and have them done through your arm.  You and Kathy kept everything under wraps as long as you could but the jig was up when Nikki rolled up your sleeve and saw your scars from the needles.  He glared at you, having been sober for a while "You been shooting up?!"

You pulled your arm away and said "It's not what you think, Nikki..."

"Then what is it?" he asked snarkily.

You and Kathy looked at each other and sighed "I have brain cancer.  These are from my chemo treatments..." his face fell and looked like he was about to cry.

"Why didn't you say anything?" he asked after he composed himself.

"Y'all have your own problems" you said, taking a swig of beer.  "You don't need me to add my baggage to the mix." 

"Does anyone else know?" he asked quietly.

"No" you answered "And don't you say anything to anyone."  He promised that he'd keep his mouth shut.

Later that night, you saw an ambulance drive past your house and to Sharice's.  You looked on in horror as you saw the little one being loaded into the vehicle.  You thought about calling Vince, but you knew Sharice would call him as soon as possible.

He called you the next day, through drunken sobs he said "She's got stomach cancer...my baby's got stomach cancer" your own heart sank at the news.  You went to go pick him up from the bar and take him back to your house.

You visited Skylar in the hospital as much as you could, your own sickness taking a backseat to comfort the family.  You eventually had to come clean and admit your own cancer to Vince, who just hugged to you him close.  The day that little girl died, you were getting a treatment and you went to the children's ward to visit.  You knew from the way the family was positioned around the bed and the crying, that she was gone.  You stayed out in the hallway and cried silently to yourself.

When they all filed out, they didn't even have to ask before you said "Y'all can stay with me" you knew it would be a tough road the next few months for them but you'd be there.  Your boxes took a back seat, you informing your buyers and refunding their money.  You needed to keep working on them to keep your mind busy.  The day that your hands wouldn't stop shaking you knew this cancer would kill you.

You were handling your tools when out of nowhere your hands began to shake.  Vince was in the other room and heard you throw your tools to the floor and curse. He just held your hands until they stopped shaking. You would live in your house for a few months, but you were deteriorating quickly.  The only person you allowed to see you was Kathy.

You were new bed bound, not able to do anything for yourself.  Kathy was right there, doing everything for you.  You felt you weren't long for this world, you asked her to call your lawyer.  You'd had to use him multiple times when people tried to sue you for not giving them the boxes when they refused to pay.  You won all those cases and kept him on.  "Hello Miss Y/N" he said as he looked at your skeleton frame.

"Hey Mr. Gibbs" you tried to smile, but even that hurt. "Have a seat."

"You called me here to draft your last will and testament?" he asked.

"Yeah" you sighed "What I want at my funeral..."

"Okay" he said and took out a note pad and pen "What would you like to have done?"

"Have them dress me up in a clown costume, with full make up and a big red nose that honks like a goose" he looked up at you in confusion. 

"E-excuse me?"

"You heard me" you mocked "Clown costume and make-up" you had to take a break to catch your breath.

"Right" he let you take as much time as you want "your casket?"

"Pumpkin Orange" you coughed "and Halloween decorations..."

He knew at this point that it was pointless to argue with you and wrote down what you wanted.  "No black..." you wheezed.

"What?" he looked up.

"Nobody wears black" you said "anyone wearing black at my funeral will be sent home to change, or wear the ugliest clothes Kathy can find..."

"And for the luncheon afterward?"

"Roast squid and duck.  Both with their eyes still on...plus some normal food.  I doubt that anyone would touch something that had it's eyes looking at them...."

"Who do you want to give the eulogy?"

"Kathy" you said, needing a break again "Tell people to bring a drink to open before she gives the eulogy..."

"Who do you want me to call first at the time of your death?"

"Vince Neil" you said with no question.  "Then Nikki Sixx, Mick Mars and Tommy Lee..."

"That concludes your funeral arrangements...how about your assets?"

"They all go to Kathy" you said "She's taken care of me like a baby, now it's my turn to take care of her..."

"I see, and your remains?"

"Cremation" you took a deep, ragged breath "turn my ashes into rings for my four best friends..."

With the business concluded, he bid you adieu and finalized the paperwork.  You turned your head to the side and you saw a face most welcome "Hey Sky"

"Hi Miss Y/N!" she was excited to see you after so long.  She was just as you remembered her when she was healthy.

"You here to take me to Heaven?" you said, the pain easing up.

"Yep!" she was kicking her legs in the seat, them not being able to touch the floor "So you wouldn't be scared when you went!"

"I see" you smiled at her "Thank you, you'll be wonderful guide" you closed your eyes and the last bit of life escaped your body.  Your spirit sat up, Skylar had extended her hand and you took it asking "What's Heaven like?"

"A beautiful dream" the little girl answered "You'll love it!" you and Skylar walked hand in had towards the light.