#burkhardclan

[burkhardclan]

Started mr villain’s day off ep. 1 This mfer 100% needs to be with the red ranger by the end. I don’t usually ship but god dyam that chemistry.. I keep having a catch-22 between his evilness and genuine side. I can’t decide if overall he makes me uncomfortable or if I relate.. I really like strong silent stoic characters huh… hm, I do like that he has a wide spectrum. Will watch 2 episodes on my morning walk before work tomorrow!

[burkhardclan]

Gonna finish ‘mr villain’s day off’ and like..

Wow. I didn’t realize I like seeing male relatable characters acting cute until now.. I feel like my worldview has been cracked open.

[burkhardclan]

Season 6 episode 5 Gilmore Girls

The grandparents roasted the Huntzberger grandparents at a social function. Paris is being Paris. Luke and Lorelei have a healthy discussion about boundaries and personal hobbies. Kirk does performance art. Again. Finally, the truth came out and is was hellfire and burned bridges from Emily and Richard. What a ride.

[burkhardclan]

Gilmore girls Season 5 Episode 20 & 21

Rory and Logan completely sidestep his entire family shit-talking the Gilmore name and have a gay okd time at casa de Gilmore.

Rory gets a nail but doesn’t fight to speak in front of her boyfriend’s dad snd her current boss. He then decides she’s not aggressive enough for journalism. OUCH.

Lorelai is again throwing someone under the bus because her parents are sane around her. She is lashing out because they never approved of her like that at any age. I get it, but Logan is also swapping stuff from the house for fun. I laughed at that and that the gilmores just.. didn’t believe he would do that?

Luke gets the house. Yes, it was a long trajectory of ups and downs. But my problem is how he is perceived by Lorelei as a not family man. Why does that BOTHER me? I’ll tell you. He based his life around Rory and Lorelei in a safe healthy way. How could she even say that? -fume fume fume-

My bet is this inequality leads to a fallout but the relationship lasted almost a whole season. So I’ll take the joy where I can.

[burkhardclan]

Gilmore girls season 5 ep 17

Logan is out dating other girls, and rory shrugs it off because that’s where her standards were.

Rory takes a guy on a date around logan and he remembers that he feels like he earned rory, but not that he doesn’t know himself. Surprise he wants to break the arrangement so she will go home with him. It’s a trainwreck waiting to happen with this boy but till I see better this is shippening.

Okay, it finally happened!

“Until then, do us all a favor and SHIT UP”

…….

I have been waiting for that since episode 3 of season 1. Emily is too entitled and it was so beautiful to see her realize Lorelei isn’t a teenager anymore. I think Lorelei realized recently Rory needed the same space, but it was much easier for her to realize given their mutual respect.

The kirk and michel arcs were funny but..

Kind of shows opposite types of intense work ethics. Interesting male personality types but I can’t relate to either really.

[burkhardclan]

Gilmore girls Season 5 episode 16

Lane freaks out that she wants to wait till marriage. Girl acts possessed by the devil as if it’s not a security thing.

Emily doesn’t apologize to luke(shocker. Instead she talks about Lorelei like a conquered territory that Luke currently holds. Still it had me in tears for how much he needed to hear from someone else that Lorelei chose him. Tearing up just typing it. Then when he rushes to her house, opens the door and kisses her in a fit of passion… i was crying so hard…

Logan and rory.. Lorelei has that budding judginess but pushed it down. Thank god.

[burkhardclan]

Gilmore girls season 5 episode 14/15

Luke asks for space and lorelai ignores his boundaries. Okay, that obviously leads to a breakup.

Luke looks for every opportunity in his way to be nice to her and she gets mad? I get where she is coming from but damn. I didnt really think he was saying to breakup.

And logan steps the hell up at every step. Naked guy makes a break out of the friend zone and acts like its fine to stay because rory asked him to… uh oh. >.> rory is gonna start thinking logan is good for her if he acts like this. Hoping bro doesn’t just turn around and say he csn’t ‘keep up the act’ or rory says ‘but it was just for fun’. Also chris.. kind of just at ‘fuck the audacity of this guy’ tight now. Currently show just makes me sad.

[burkhardclan]

Gilmore girls Season 5 ep 13

“You and me, we’re done”

“I just want to see how it feels”

“Where were you when she had chickenpox and only ate oatmeal for a week?”

Luke handled everything so well. Lorelai had her comeuppance and admitted it. Rory lowered her standards to the floor to guarantee she got logan, and emily has been outed for a conniving manipulator (again). Damn this show. I love this show.

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I woke up this morning feeling like my life was one long train ride to somewhere I no longer wanted to go.

I got off at the first stop and wonder why I got on that train so aggressively alone in the first place.

I just want to go on a trip for what I want FINALLY. Why can’t I be happy alone?

Why don’t I know myself? After all I’ve gone through with myself. Why do I still confuse myself.

Why can’t I say I’m okay and mean it.

[burkhardclan]

I finished Dr. Stone season 2. It was pretty good. The twists at the end was interesting, but I thought it was too obvious from the decision to poison their own guys in season 1. I’m trying to find better action stories.

[burkhardclan]

Binging ‘gilmore girls’ where I left off..

Season 4, episode 19. Been going through lots of good positive changes lately and I just need something safe, low stakes, snd witty to relax. I know this is a loaded question, but is there a fandom of the show on tumblr?

[burkhardclan]

Woke up feeling really excited for the day

Gender is why. I have been slumped and depressed for the last month. I had a panic attack 3x across December, January, and February. In that time I briefly and rapidly flipped between 'Non-binary He/They, He/they/she, and He'. Sometimes in the span of an hour or the day. I'd tried dressing up as a woman for the first time in 13ish years In mid-december and just... felt 'meh'?

I've had to sneak clothes into my house when I had been a teenager to take pictures of myself as a woman but never really connected with it. I had been really scrawny back then and it just felt interesting for a while but not forever and the allure wore off. Partly because every partner I had was obsessed with ME being manly and eventually becoming 'you aren't manly enough'. Which is why eventually my baseline for appearance became something that starts as masculine, but I want more I guess? Or wonder if there is more that I want?

My experiences dressing have always concluded with me realizing 'I'm not happy presenting this way, but now I know what I'm into'. So like.. Not a narcissistic view of beauty, but more hands-on learning of diversity?

I recently tried through the second half of last year to do: A full time Job, A part time job, 20 hours weekly of making tailored tiktok content, and acting classes for 4 hours a week, 3 hours weekly of training at the gym, and 1-2 hours walking everyday. It burnt me the hell out and led to the above panic attacks. Somewhere in all of that I went from 6'2"(That I had only barely achieved in the time leading up to it) to 6"0. I also had a nervous system lockout of heat(Couldn't feel heat for 12 hours), experienced symptoms commonly attributed to autism and ocd. There was a period where I couldn't lie without violently coughing. I knew I was unwell and eventually got diagnosed as bipolar and am finally in control of my life again. I had started the journey at 220 and gone down to 185, then after my mental collapse am now back at 200.

My goal (starting today)... is to 'almost' eliminate all of the fat on my body first, then bulk up until I "feel I can do/present with my body as I want from the inside" as a man,

THEN do two things!

I'll return to making the tailored tiktok videos(while stopping my part-time job) as Franky the Cyborg(who in my mind is Non-binary and maybe asexual?)

I'll also be going to conventions cosplaying as Franky the Cyborg/Joel from 'the last of us'/Other buff characters

AND going to conventions cosplaying as muscle mommys..

In summary: I hope to prove that Muscle > Gender is how my mind works, but I would not be surprised to find by the end of this and given the things I have outlined that I may see myself as either the muscle mommy or as Joel and just.. feel an inextricable and total pull to one or the other.

Inspo by: @lavenderkaye106 and @catboybiologist

Finally, I'm setting a soft goalpost for this at a year from next month.

I know I'll be putting on muscle, but since the goal is an aesthetic I see and enjoy I'm not sure what the lb # will be. So this will be interesting?

[burkhardclan]

Gilmore girls season 5 episode 8.

“I don’t think I belong here anymore… Do I?”

Had me crying. Dean was her light at the end of the tunnel and he still couldn’t believe in himself after everything. And the quiet voice in which he said it.. it kills me. Sir, she is looking up to you and tipsy and vulnerable. At least take her home and think on it. Don’t cut her heart out when she won’t have the heart to say ow.

Luke and Lorelai. They hinted at the chemistry from the start and still going strong. Seeing it gives me hope I can be ghat kind of guy.

Seeing this broke me a bit. Taking a break till the EOD before I binge more.

[burkhardclan]

Season 6 episodes 7 & 8

Luke and lorelai are docking it. The abusiveness is fading and they seem genuinely happy. I’m clicking my heels……

Rory has to watch logan act like dean did at meeting jess, and how jess acted later about dean. I hate to say I told you so but rory creates these situations in the men she dates too. She treats them well, gets sucked into their lifestyles, discusses none of her past.. when said past comes back like ‘haha yeah she treated me THE SAME and im puppy dog ex eyeing her’ it sparks that jealousy, and yes they are assholes but she hasn’t developed the transparency Lorelei herself only discovered recently during the rory x lorelai separation. Rory chastises and loses both guys endearment. She was NOT wrong for how she acted that night, but she needs to own up to her lack of transparency if they reconnect and grow or it will keep happening.

Even more tragic though is emily revealing her true intentions the same day. That of trying to treat her as a second lorelai, which she is, so she can for e her to be who she wants. Me thinks she’ll go back to lorelai, both rory and emily separately, only for lorelai to let it play out how it should. Rory will probably get a breakup from logan, then one from jess again again later this season when rory tries that out again. Rory … really needs to just reflect. I hope she does so she doesn’t feel perpetually alone.

[burkhardclan]

Gilmore Girls Season 6 episode six

Emily tortures Lorelei with random knick knacks which was… odd.

It ended and the daughter got her precious childhood dollhouse…

Awkwardness between the two couple themselves. Rory x Logan, and Luke x Lorelei. It vanishes instantly but I feel like the writers are showing how antsy and scared of commitment they are.

‘Sores and Boils Alley’. That was a laugh, also f#ck taylor. ‘Headpat’. Oof.

[burkhardclan]

Season 6 episode 3 gilmore girls

Lane’s band is doing well.

Lorelai snd luke are doing okay….but the dynamic is a stress builder. Lorelai keeps stepping to the side and luke fixes her problems. Then she ‘rewards him’ by telling him things she is struggling to put into words that have been stressing her out after he said he’s been having a bad day. Again, things sre working for now, but if luke is too stressed to do it shain or lorelai devides it wasn’t enough or she needs him to just do and do then… well. I expect lorelai to let luke boil over too long honestly..

Rory seems fine now that she talked for mom again. Her relationship with logan seems fine but.. a part if me thinks logan might be in an arranged marriage and not saying anything?..

AGAIN no kirk. Sad face