#but 99% of the time it's about bisexual women and idk why we try to kid ourselves

[killbenedictcumberbatchagain]

patriarchy and biphobia really go hand in hand

[mazqueen]

I wish Petra would use the word “bisexual” in an ep. I kinda love the fact that most queer characters on JtV doesn’t have to say their sexuality but it just is (like Luisa and JR never use a label but are so obviously gay). But since some people keep calling Petra a lesbian, and that the word bi is like never used on tv, I think she should. Characters that are obviously bi either have no label or call themselves gay, sometimes even when writers confirm they’re bi they still won’t say it in canon

Me too. And I agree, it’s nice when they don’t have to say their sexuality because then it’s treated as normal, which is a good thing. But at the same time, I feel you in that the term bisexual is rarely used on tv and I feel like saying the word… helps, I guess? In validating it, in a sense, for bi-visibility, especially because there are a lot of people who don’t take bisexuality seriously or never even consider it as an option. 

I mean here. We’ve got Luisa, Rose and Krishna, all confirmed lesbians. JR’s sexuality was never said out loud in canon, but people have labelled her as a lesbian and no one has questioned it. And then there’s Petra, who I feel is actually in the best position (and the only viable one, at this point) to represent the bi community on the show especially now that she’s a confirmed wlw + her history. It all fits, and comes together quite perfectly. However, there are still a lot of people who say she’s a lesbian, who dismiss the idea that she’s bisexual (which Jennie Urman has confirmed she is btw) even though she spent pretty much three seasons pining over her ex-husband and it’s clear that her love for him was real, both in the writing and the translation of that writing onscreen. And it can feel a little offensive in a way, if you think about how there are 5 wlw (counting out characters who aren’t at the very least recurring guest stars) on this show and out of those five, (out of the two unconfirmed wlw), the bi community is only trying to claim ONE as our representation and when people try to argue against the idea of Petra being bisexual, it feels like we’re not even allowed to have that, like we’re not even allowed to exist in the line-up of wlw. 

And idk. I mean I want Petramos to be endgame. I want JR to be it for Petra, because I think they have a healthy, loving relationship and that’s beautiful. But at the same time, it’s upsetting when her ending up with a woman is taken as her being a lesbian. The thing is, unless you’re poly, you’re only gonna end up with 1, either a male or a female… but it’s not like ending up with a male makes us hetero, in the same way that ending up with a female does not mean we’re lesbians. We’re still bisexuals. And I feel like that was the whole point of why they made Adam explain all that stuff about bisexuality earlier. So that people understand that. But I don’t think people do. 

Like, here’s the thing. Bisexuals who like men and women equally are valid. Bisexuals who prefer men are valid. Bisexuals who prefer women are valid. Bisexuals who have never dated men before are valid. Bisexuals who have never dated women before are valid. Bisexuals who have decided, for whatever reason, that they want to exclusively date men are valid. Bisexuals who have decided, for whatever reason, that they want to exclusively date women are valid. In the same way that bisexuals who don’t want to date at all, for whatever reason, are valid. (And bi’s who would rather call themselves straight/lesbian because they want to exclusively date only one sex anyway is also valid, js. What people want to label themselves as is their choice.) 

It’s tough to make definitions with sexuality because it’s complicated, so this will be extremely broad but bisexuality generally means you can be attracted to both men and women. And I’m not talking about attraction in the… oh they’re handsome or beautiful kind of way, but in the sense that… you’d enter a relationship with them, or would have sex with them, or whatever other variety of that. Like, the idea of being in a relationship, romantic/sexual, with either women and men appeals to you. Sexuality is really not about who you’re with or who you end up with. It’s not about who you’re dating or not dating. You don’t stop being a bisexual for any reason, because being one is part of who you are. Like someone who is closeted and dating the opposite sex is still gay even though they’re dating the opposite sex. Because being gay is not something that disappears depending on who they’re with. It’s who they are. It’s the same with bisexuality.

And so in the same sense, Petra is bisexual no matter who she’s dating. Petra is bisexual if, for some reason she doesn’t end up with JR and dates ten women after that until she finds ‘the one’ who is also a woman. If she dates women the rest of her life, it doesn’t negate the validity of her feelings/relationship with Raf. She could be so over balls men (like me 99% of the time) but that doesn’t automatically make her not a bisexual. Mind you, being ‘over it’ means she was into at one point, which just goes to prove that her attraction isn’t limited to only women. Like… I can see Petra as fluid. And I can definitely see her as pansexual. But if you tell me Petra is not at all attracted to men? Idk but that’s just difficult to believe. And I’d also like to point out that Jennie made the decision to make Petra bi before s4 started… and yet we have a completely pointless scene in which Petra gushes about how handsome Jeffrey Mullins is, also being hot and bothered and clearly turned on at the thought of how good Raf is in bed and if she was going to make Petra a lesbian? Why bother with those.

And. Yeah. Clearly I have a lot of feelings about this lol. And I mean, it’s about Petra but it’s also, in the larger sense, more about the prevalence of bi-erasure in society as a whole and tbh I feel a little bit like invalidating Petra’s bisexuality is a manifestation of that. And I just wish we could be better. Like I’ve said before, we’re all wlw, all lgbtq, let’s just be supportive and accepting of each other.

[platonic-bellarke]

Do all of the number asks

Wow ok 1: Full nameSarah Abigail Large 2: Age163: 3 FearsDrowning, being considered an annoying friend, being ignored 4: 3 things I loveMusic Frank iero Art5: 4 turns onTattoos Dark hair (on guys on girls anything)Blue eyes Being able to listen to me rant and talk about things I love 6: 4 turns offRepublicans Homophobic people Ignoring me Hypocrisy 7: My best friendShe goes to my school 8: Sexual orientationBisexual9: My best first dateI have never dated anyone lmao10: How tall am I5’4 and a half11: What do I missMy Chemical Romance and my best friend in elementary school and middle school 12: What time was I bornI think around 12:35 in the afternoon 13: Favourite colorAnything blue tbh (pretty much cool colors)14: Do I have a crushYes, I actually have 2 lmao here’s this girl and my school and this guy at this other school 15: Favourite quote“Sometimes you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself and become a better person” or “All your quirks, all your problems-even your depressions and your failures-it what makes you, you” both by Gerard Way (or just “keep running” from danger days) 16: Favourite placeMy bed with my dog and cat listening to music 17: Favourite foodI love banana and grapes 18: Do I use sarcasmOccasionally 19: What am I listening to right nowThe white album by Weezer (specially the song L.A. girlz)20: First thing I notice in new personEither hair and facial features or, if I talk to them, their personality 21: Shoe sizeLike 8-9 (in US women’s)22: Eye colorLike blue, green, grayish 23: Hair colorbrown with some natural blonde highlights 24: Favourite style of clothingI love flannels and black jeans and beanies and hoodies (idk just like that aesthetic)25: Ever done a prank call?Yep27: Meaning behind my URLThe joke of bellarke being platonic and “platonic bellarke” being an oxymoron 28: Favourite moviePretty much any marvel movie (mcu) especially winter soldier or Ragnarok 29: Favourite songFamous last words, mama, the ghost of you, bulletproof heart, literally any thing by My Chemical Romance A Rush of Blood to the Head and Clocks by Coldplay Knights of Cydonia by Muse Jesus of Suburbia by Green Day Say it ain’t so and My Name is Jonas by Weezer Ode to sleep by Twenty One Pilots (I couldn’t narrow it down to one sorry)30: Favourite bandMy Chemical Romance (coldplay and Muse and close seconds)31: How I feel right nowAnxious (over nothing) tired, a little sad32: Someone I loveFrank iero, my best friend, my family 33: My current relationship statusSingle (hmu)34: My relationship with my parentsReally good 35: Favourite holidayHALLOWEEN 36: Tattoos and piercing i haveNone :(37: Tattoos and piercing i wantI want my ears and nose pierced. I want a My Chemical Romance, Coldplay, and muse tattoo (and many more)38: The reason I joined TumblrI made my first account in 2013 because my friends had tumblr and I want to blog about bands and tv shows. I made this one in 2016 because I want my tv shows and movie posts to be separated from my band blog. My band blog is less active now and has less followers lmao39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?Don’t have an ex. Never dated anyone 40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?Nope :/41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?No42: When did I last hold hands?My sister will grab my hands randomly haha43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?For school like 10 minutes but like if I’m going out and actually care about my appearance like an hour to an hour and a half 44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?Nope45: Where am I right now?The bath46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?I have never drank (and tbh don’t plan on it) but probably my friends (?)47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?In my headphones: loud. In a public area: reasonable bc I don’t want to bother anyone 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?Yep I’m only 1649: Am I excited for anything?YES I AM MEETING AND SEEING AWOLNATION, JUDAH AND THE LION, AND DAN AND PHIL 50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?nope. I have 0 guys friends bc I go to an all girls school 51: How often do I wear a fake smile?Lmao when ever I talk to someone who talks for too long or when I’m talking to teachers 52: When was the last time I hugged someone?Like 2 weeks ago not sure 53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?I never kissed anyone lmao54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?Haha yep55: What is something I disliked about today?My body 56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?Frank iero (or Gerard Way or Chris Martin) 57: What do I think about most?How much i hate my body and how much I miss my Chemical Romance 58: What’s my strangest talent?I don’t really have any talents (I can whistle really well) 59: Do I have any strange phobias?Ladybugs60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?Either (I want to become a film maker or an actor so)61: What was the last lie I told?Told my friend I was busy the other day when really I just wanted to be alone and watch Lucifer and runaways 62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?Depends on the person but usually phone 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?No for ghost yes for aliens 64: Do I believe in magic?Nope65: Do I believe in luck?Nope66: What’s the weather like right now?Super cold but I like lt (like 33 degrees and sunny) (0 degrees if your a Celsius person)67: What was the last book I’ve read?I am reading the umbrella academy comic by Gerard Way currently but for a book... I don’t really like to read books (for school I just read summary’s lmao) so the last full book I read was probably the hobbit in middle school (I love that book)68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?Yes 69: Do I have any nicknames?Abea, Dabby, anby70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?I got a cut on the top of the head when I was little and my dad had to stick it back 71: Do I spend money or save it?I try to save it but it usually doesn’t happen 72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?No 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?Yes, a shampoo bottle 74: Favourite animal?CATS75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?Watching Stephen Colbert 76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?Either trump or Morningstar (I have been watching too much Lucifer Help)77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?Vampire money, famous last words by My Chemical Romance Mr. Brightside by the Killers 78: How can you win my heart?Liking the same music or shows and movies as me/Being able to listen to me rant about things I either love or hate 79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?Idk something meaningful not sure yet 80: What is my favorite word?Idk I like the word nonchalant81: My top 5 blogs on tumblrI refuse to narrow it down to 5 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?Listen to conventional weapons by My Chemical Romance 83: Do I have any relatives in jail?Nope84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?Either teleportation/Shrink and grow at will/or change my appearance and look like whoever I want 85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?Why I am sad86: What is my current desktop picture?I have like 10 back grounds but my main ones are my meet and greet with 30STM, a pic of frank iero I took at his show, and a pic of Matt Bellamy I took at a muse show 87: Had sex?No but I would like to 88: Bought condoms?Nope89: Gotten pregnant?Nope and hopefully I never will90: Failed a class?Nope91: Kissed a boy?Nope, but I would like to 92: Kissed a girl?No, but I would like to93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?Nope94: Had job?Nope95: Left the house without my wallet?Yep96: Bullied someone on the internet?No97: Had sex in public?Nope98: Played on a sports team?Yep, I swam and played soccer when I was younger 99: Smoked weed?Nope but I would like to100: Did drugs?No101: Smoked cigarettes?No and I don’t want to102: Drank alcohol?Yes, my parents will let me try their drinks. I have never liked them 103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?I don’t eat any meat besides occasionally chicken 104: Been overweight?Yep105: Been underweight?Nope106: Been to a wedding?Yep107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?Yep108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?Yep 109: Been outside my home country?Yep110: Gotten my heart broken?Kinda, one of my friends told me some pretty awful shit that made me hate myself and convince my self I have no friends so I hate her now and we used to be very close but whatever 111: Been to a professional sports game?Yep112: Broken a bone?I broke my finger once113: Cut myself?No but I have tried 114: Been to prom?No but I will this year !115: Been in airplane?Yep (was actually on one yesterday haha)116: Fly by helicopter?Nope117: What concerts have I been to?Boi so many. I have been to over 15Including Fall Out Boy Three Times Panic! At the Disco 3 times Twenty one pilots 3 timesWeezer 3 times (a 4th this summer)PVRIS 3 timesMuse30 Seconds to Mars Coldplay Frank iero and the Patience Bastille twice Judah and the lionBlink-182Green DayMaroon 5 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?Yep, I currently do119: Learned another language?Nope 120: Wore make up?Yes, I love makeup 121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?Nope, I’m only 16 though 122: Had oral sex?Nope123: Dyed my hair?Yep124: Voted in a presidential election?Nope125: Rode in an ambulance?Nope126: Had a surgery?I got my wisdom teeth removed does that count (?)127: Met someone famous?Yep, 30stm(Jared Leto), Tyler Joseph of twenty one pilots, panic! At the Disco, misha and Jared and Jensen from Supernatural, and Victoria justice 128: Stalked someone on a social network?Yep129: Peed outside?Yep130: Been fishing?Yes I hated it 131: Helped with charity?Yep 132: Been rejected by a crush?I have never asked anyone out 133: Broken a mirror?Nope 134: What do I want for birthday?Concert tickets, a s.o.135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?I never want kids omfg 136: Was I named after anyone?I don’t think so 137: Do I like my handwriting?Hahah no 138: What was my favourite toy as a child?I loved Thomas the train shit139: Favourite Tv Show?Either the 100, sherlock, or Gotham 140: Where do I want to live when older?I would like to live in Europe for some time in my life but I’ll probably stay in Tennessee for most of my life but I would love to travel everywhere 141: Play any musical instrument?No but I am trying to learn bass 142: One of my scars, how did I get it?There’s a scar on my knee from when i was climbing rocks to get to a rope swing and I scraped my leg on a rock 143: Favourite pizza toping?Extra cheesy haha (also cold pizza is better)144: Am I afraid of the dark?No I love the dark145: Am I afraid of heights?No I LOVE heights omg 146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?No bc I don’t really like doing bad things 147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?Yep haha148: What I’m really bad atTalking about my feelings 149: What my greatest achievments arePassing some hard classes, swimming a 50 freestyle in under 30 Seconds 150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to meOh boy that “friend” to me that:-no one cares about me-I have no close friends -I’m selfish -I take what I want from others -I pride myself on being nice 151: What I’d do if I won in a lotteryUse most of it to have a safe future but some for concert tickets and band stuff 152: What do I like about myselfTbh nothing, maybe the fact that I am ok at makeup (?)153: My closest Tumblr friendDon’t really have any close Tumblr friends. MESSAGE ME IF YOU WANT TO 154: Something I fantasise abouta My Chemical Romance reunion, what it would be like to be in a relationship 155: Any question you’d like??

[catboyfeli]

i feel like it’s really telling that most nondysphoric trans ppl are bisexual

like bisexuals inherently don’t conform to gender roles

and with tumblr treating gender and behavior and feelings as gender, no wonder everyone’s convinced they can’t just exist as a gnc person without weaseling their way into trans spaces

like you can just present male some days and female other days and be cis plenty of people, especially bisexuals, INCLUDING MYSELF, desire to flip-flop between social roles

gender as a social role is completely socially constructed and all this gender stuff just UPHOLDS that. trans people are dysphoric about their sex which translates into social dysphoria because it reminds them OF their sex being “wrong.”

and then all this gender shit also confuses binary trans people into thinking they’re genderfluid or something when they really just are in denial, or have fluctuating dysphoria, or something similar. and then nb trans people get roped into all this too.

i talk abt this a lot and i know nobody cares but its the most infuriating thing but if i try to talk about it i’m the bad guy :/

anyway i just think social roles need to be abolished instead of supported like everyone’s been doing. gender as a social concept only exists from people trying to create a way to separate the two sexes, which turned into something more due to sexism. if you wanna be seen as the opposite gender or neither gender then yeah you might be trans! but it also easily could be something else causing that feeling! people being so quick to jump on the bandwagon is just so harmful and trans people, DYSPHORIC people, deserve their own spaces.

people have gender and gender roles all mixed up and just b/c you identify as something doesn’t make it valid? trans people don’t identify as trans they just are b/c their brain knows something’s not right. it’s just so ugh. wanting to take on a different social role isn’t dysphoria, it’s a SIDE EFFECT of dysphoria, so having that alone doesn’t necessarily mean anything. it just baffles me how people think it’s at all comparable when social roles are socially constructed like??? i just don’t understand how else i can say this to get it through people’s heads? it’d be easy to debate someone but i’m not doing that on this hellsite

idk im just so tired of people saying “gnc and nb isnt the same!!” but then going around and iding as nb BECAUSE they feel disconnected from gender and its social roles like???? you just contradicted yourself. if you’re ok with your bio sex then chances are you’re cis and just don’t conform to binary gender roles. gender and gender roles are basically the same thing like there’s little distinction.

people also make gender into this big fucking thing like once i said the only possible way to nb to exist is to have a neurosex that’s an equal mix of male and female, thus creating atypical dysphoria, and people got SO FUCKING OFFENDED LIKE uM

i shouldn’t need to explain how stupid that is djkldljkfjklfjk ugh

anyway the only way gender is real is via brain sex. gender as a social construct is real, buuut also fake because it’s a social construct. not conforming to gender is GOOD because it means you’re not letting yourself be shoved into a box. but that doesn’t make you trans. and you’re still either male or female and not fitting into gender roles doesn’t mean anything or make you nb, atypical dysphoria does.

and honestly the whole being wlw and mlm at the same time thing is so?? creepy and fetishy??? i really shouldnt have to explain why. like i identify as female, male, and neither, but that means Literally Nothing and if i, as a cis girl, tried to weasel my way into mlm spaces it’d be fuckin creepy. it just makes trans mlm look like a joke and it’s pretty shitty.

but also they seriously need the change the terms for nb people because theyre described as like “being attracted to female genitalia and femininity but not necessarily females” and ??? FEMININITY AND FEMALE ARENT THE SAME THING BY THIS LOGIC YOU COULD BE ATTRACTED TO A FEMININE MAN, BUT WAIT HE PRESENTS AS A MAN SO JUST SAY FEMALE PRESENTING AAAAAAAAAAAA

and like if someone presents as female... they’re female. gender and identity doesn’t matter they look female, their biologically female, they’re female. it should be about SEX not what they identify as. attraction to trans people is about perceived sex, not gender. and you can be attracted to someone who presents as female but then find out theyre actually male and lose the attraction. it’s just such a COMPLEX THING YOU CANT PUT INTO BOXES LIKE THIS ugh

i just think the whole gender thing needs to go honestly. its all about sex and perceived sex, personality, behavior, looks, interests, mannerisms, etc. i just summed up how gender contributes to attraction in that one sentence. that’s how unnecessary it is. you can like people who aren’t male and have feminine mannerisms. tada! we just summed up a way to experience attraction without making it weird!

its kind of funny how people describe attraction is a way that enforces binary roles despite trying to go against them. like instead of saying a lesbian is attracted to women why not just say a lesbian is attracted to everyone but men? it recognizes how presentation and perceived sex go into play without making things weird. because even if someone isnt a man, using this in the sense of a dysphoric nb person and NOT just how they ~identify~ bc that’s stupid, but anyway if they’re not a man, but present as a man, then the lesbian isn’t going to be attracted to them, and that’s just how it works.

but! the lesbian could meet a man who presents as male but feminine and has feminine mannerisms, and realize she’s actually bi and is just attracted to femininity, because attraction is complex and much like how people won’t fit into binary social roles, people’s attraction ALSO won’t fit into binary social roles, so maybe a girl could be really into masculinity and think she’s straight but then see a masculine girl and realize she’s bi, and not be into feminine men b/c just because she likes men doesn’t men she likes ALL men and b/c masculine and male aren’t the same thing

hoo i could go on but i know nobody is reading this. maybe i could try to put all my thoughts into a legible essay someday idk. anyway i just think real nb people are so rare that it’s better to treat their gender as a lack of gender, rather than a third gender, and that their gender exists BECAUSE of their atypical dysphoria, not because they ~identify~ as something different or anything dumb like that.

i see why people think a third gender would be beneficial but i’m just trying to be realistic. trans people are only 0.37% of the population. nb trans people would make up an extremely small amount of that percentage, so it only makes sense to NOT change the way the world works for over 99% of people, and instead find a compromise in treating their gender as a lack of one. plus the whole third gender thing is something gnc youth love to latch onto which isn’t healthy. creating a third gender for people who don’t fit into binary gender roles is regressive and enforces binary gender roles. that’s it that’s what this whole spiel was about basically im done now goodbye