#but I went to school with some twice a year disneyworld people

[shitty-check-please-aus]

What we need to do is convince all the disney adults in america that high speed rail would be a preferable way of getting to disneyworld compared to driving or flying. We could maybe harness their fondness for the monorail or something, but this is a group of people that has time, income, and passion that we could leverage. If we could direct 5% of the enthusiasm they have for limited edition popcorn buckets into calling their representatives and demanding high-speed interstate rail, we could get it by 2030

[flexmains]

/

#stray 1am thoughts 

#my dad always handled the camera when i was growing up #if we ever had any family photos he'd always be the one to set it up or he'd opt to not be in the photo to take it himself

#i am comforted to see that other neurodivergent people have forgotten such large chunks of their childhood too #because i know i don't remember him for all the things he did do for me #and that's the only thing i feel a little bad about when i think of him

#but i do remember plenty of the things he did do to me so that's on him for that B)

#i wonder if he'd have encouraged me to pick it up when i was in high school and curious about my fencing advisor's photography lab #i wonder if he'd have kept it locked away from me #i wonder if i would have ever felt comfortable expressing myself enough to mention that i liked the idea of photography at all to him

#the photography and the printing and the tucking them away in albums and hiding the albums away #the shame, me having to call myself stupid to make him back off, feeling slow, and just... feeling neutral about everything else #i wonder what shaped my awkward aversion to looking at myself in the mirror most

#the feeling i remember most is the embarrassment of making eye contact with a stranger on public transportation while i washed my face in the morning

#i remember staring intensely at my own hands as i brush my teeth in the morning - and i still do 

#i can't find myself in photos if i'm not the central figure and someone doesn't tell me 'hey that's you' 

#i almost remember the day i realized i could see my own reflection in windows as i walked the streets outside my high school #and i was embarrassed and shocked and almost afraid of the realization and the recognition of BEING and then i got tired of typing in tags and moved this to a full text post but

i don’t really know 100% where this thought came from... i did talk to a friend about some of these thoughts, but it really all started tonight when i wanted to think about my dad holding the camera. and i thought to myself, he handed it over to me sometimes, right? and i think he did. 

and i think i was so awed by the weight and complexity and the magic of it that i never played with the dials or settings or buttons. i was afraid to even adjust the zoom or focal length for fear of his having made some settings before letting me see. 

and i wonder if he could have criticized me for it (i’m not curious enough, how dull) or if he was glad to see it (i would not mess with his things because i was respectful) or if he noticed or cared about it or me at all (did he really have a second family? can i trust my mother’s narrative about that?)

and then he would frame us in the viewfinder and take those photos and print them out and put them away. they’re still downstairs and i think about looking at them all the time, but i’m kind of scared to.

and when i was in high school i had no concept of my physical literal body. seeing my clothes in the mirror was like looking at a mannequin, and sometimes i would be like “hm, not bad” sometimes if I liked the collar on my shirts, but my face and my head and my person weren’t REALLY there and i didn’t really see them. like if i could pop my head off and look at what was left and i’d be like, sure, that’s normal.

i was so shocked in college when i looked at my old high school photos. my body... looked like THAT? i had been so muc hcloser to being fit actually 😔 and it wasn’t that i thought i wasn’t fit or that i thought i was fat or anything, but i just DIDN’T think of myself.

i think about that now and i wish i’d maintained that body type a bit more B) now i am heavy but i think i’m pretty strong too. i might never be thin again but i want to be strong. 

oh i remember what i wanted to write this post for now o:

i wish picking up a camera came more naturally to me. my parents said they wanted to prioritize showing us the world while we were young, to give us that kind of open perspective they didn’t have. they were literally eating grass off the hills in the mountains of China at the age my brother and i first went back to China to visit. they were foraging for roots and vegetables at the age we first went to Disneyworld. when i went to Alaska for my 8th birthday, my mother and her would have been going to school and working at home on alternating days to maximize the family’s potential food rations.

but to me, i feel like maybe they didn’t know what they were showing us, so we didn’t take in all that much. we went on so many trips for so many of my birthdays, but we rushed through more cities instead of spending more time in any one place. we did the most basic touristy tours once a day and then spent twice as long in transit between other locations.

i feel pretty certain that i only really had the freedom i have had to be myself and explore myself and to learn about myself through other lenses because my dad passed away. i don’t think i could have learned as much about being a lesbian as i did without him combing all my history and downloads and everything as he did. i think he would might have been even more controlling than my paranoid mother when i was in college. i wonder often if he’d have pushed me to apply to different schools and changed that trajectory a lot.

i wonder if he would have found it in himself to accept that about me? i think it would be unfair for me to jump to remembering him at his meanest and say he’d entirely have shut me down for it. he did end up working for one of my elementary school friends’ lesbian moms in real estate, so i feel like he had to be kind of okay with it to a degree.

but he got to control so many photos and i never built my habit of wanting to take photos while he was around. and now, when i go somewhere beautiful, i automatically feel clumsy whipping out a camera. and when i pull out my phone, i feel a little guilty for being screen-obsessed, but i think about how on the nights i am home and thinking abt where i have traveled in my city and the world... i just want to remember what it was like to stand where i did and see what i did thousands of miles away... i know i would rather have taken the photos than not B’)

i’m so sad to think that i could have forgotten these moments without the photos to give me context. i’m sad to think about the moments i did forget without photos. i know there’ll be more, and i know that all things will come to pass, but i want to remember. i just want to remember and i want to hold the memories a little longer. i want to experience being me a little more in my own head and my own memory. i think that would be neat, to say the least.

i stare myself in the eyes and doodle versions of my self the way i’d reconstruct anyone if they asked me to doodle them. i would love to learn to paint, and i’d love to make it a hobby to sit on a bench and paint whatever i see before me. i think that would be a really good exercise of viewing and creating and i have no actual intention to start doing so any time soon, but i’ll think on it intensely, at least.

speaking of physical appearances, i don’t think i ever really put my photo on my blog even when i was active on krorys, especially considering how weird i felt about seeing my own face, but

i had my hair cut short almost a year ago and i’m now fat in a way that i’m not good at drawing accurately yet but that’ll come with practice.i’m learning to cut my hair through lockdown but i’m intimidated by trimming the top part of my undercut. it’s gotten so long that it constantly gets in my eyes and i will have to bite the bullet and cut it myself soon anyway. i accidentally bought a bunch of v-necks and couldn’t be bothered to return them for other necklines and i got flip flops in san diego that i’m abt to break out again for the hot weather now B) and that’s how i construct how i see myself 

ty for reading this post of literally just me rambling about myself if you’re down here to see it. i just like to let the thoughts out at the end of a day and wander through them B’)

[pioneergirlsie]

85 Questions

I was tagged by the lovely @dearponty <3 Thank you!

I’m tagging: @random----fandoms (I always keep thinking you’re still papillion XD) @thatwouldbeunfortunate @booksinthenooks @flyingthroughthemoonlight @xxno-wayxx

— what was your last…

1. drink: Water out of my huge Newsies cup. Or if water doesn’t count, I had a Mountain Dew yesterday

2. phone call: My aunt so I could wish my little cousin a happy 7th birthday

3. text message: @random----fandoms aka my bestie

4. song you listened to: “From Now On” from The Greatest Showman

5. time you cried: A few weeks ago I was so stressed that I just cried for about a half hour and did nothing

— have you ever…

6. dated someone twice: Haha I haven’t even dated someone once XD

7. kissed someone and regretted it: Haha I’ve never kissed either

8. been cheated on: No

9. lost someone special: Yeah. Too many special someones

10. been depressed: Yeah. After reading A Series of Unfortunate Events I got into a funk and it didn’t really go away on its own... 

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: No but I gag whenever I smell alcohol

— fave colours

12. Blue

13. Green

14. Blue green

— in the last year have you…

15. made new friends: Do online friends count?

16. fallen out of love: Well... Fallen out of “like” is more accurate (and it happened twice so...)

17. laughed until you cried: Oh yes XD

18. found out someone was talking about you: Yes, but not in a bad way

19. met someone who changed you: Yeppers

20. found out who your friends are: A lot of them are the same, but I see now that distance can change people

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: I’ve kissed my parents, and we’re facebook friends, does that count?

— general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: All of them because I don’t friend people I don’t know

23. do you have any pets: Yessss! I have three cats (one of which is missing and she’s my favorite) and a black lab/pointer mix who is adorable and I love him so much even though I don’t like any other dogs

24. do you want to change your name: No I love my name!

25. what did you do for your last birthday: We were on a road trip and my dad decided to pull off to a war memorial even though we were on a tight schedule, so that was interesting. There were LARGE mosquitos there. Then we drove for ten hours. We stopped at a gas station for a bathroom and they didn’t have a toilet seat, so that was... an experience. I cried. We finally arrived at Disney Springs where we got ice cream for my birthday. And the next day, on my bro’s birthday, we went to DisneyWorld. (But it’s alright because we both wore birthday buttons our whole trip and got mistaken for twins constantly and got many magical moments)

26. what time did you wake up today: 8 am

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping thank goodness. But I also could have been sleepwalking or talking because I do that

28. what is something you can’t wait for: My online classes being done (but I get my wisdom teeth out two days later so... maybe I can wait)

30. what are you listening to right now: Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace soundtrack XD

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: I think my aunt’s brother is named Tom but I don’t think I actually talked to him at that wedding...

32. something that’s getting on your nerves: Drama queens/kings

33. most visited website: Tumblr, YouTube, and the site for my college courses

34. hair colour: Brown

35. long or short hair: Medium-ish because I just got it cut from it being really long

36. do you have a crush on someone: It’s complicated

37. what do you like about yourself: I like my eyes a lot, and I like my personality. I have fun :)

38. want any piercings: Nopity nope nope, nope nope. 

 39. blood type: Ha, funny story. I skipped the day of biology where everyone got their blood tested and went to Disney instead 

40. nicknames: Elsie

41. relationship status: Single

42. sign: Pisces I think. I don’t really care

43. pronouns: she/her

44. fave tv show: The new Tangled series!

45. tattoos: Oh nodie dodie.

46. right or left handed: Right

47. ever had surgery: No but I’m going to need a couple

48. piercings: Ears

49. sport: I am totally into motocross. I can’t figure out how to shift, but I love watching it and riding little 50s. 

50. vacation: Are we talking all or most recent? I’ll go with most recent. We took a roadtrip through the deep south this winter all the way down to Florida to visit Disney and my friend at college and saw a Supercross Race over my brother’s and my birthdays.

51. trainers: Do braces count?

— more general

52. eating: Not right now, but if I am it’s probably pasta

53. drinking: Water, but later I’ll have a Mountain Dew

54. I’m about to watch: Some YouTube or the end of The Phantom Menace (again)

55. waiting for: Summer so I can be free

56. want: To star in a Broadway show XD Besides that, I’ve wanted this cute jacket for awhile. Ooh! And I want Newsies Live to get a CD and DVD

57. get married: Maybe after I’ve dated and found the right guy XD

58. career: Hopefully an author and an editor! Or I could do newspaper reporter/writer things

— which is better

59. hugs or kisses: hugs, especially when the person is really good at hug giving.

60. lips or eyes: eyes

61. shorter or taller: Well... I am shorter... so idk. But taller can be helpful to reach high places... idk

62. older or younger: Um? How do I answer this? I’d say younger because when you’re older everything starts to hurt

63. nice arms or stomach: Nice arms because they’re good for hugging

64. hookup or relationships: Hookups are bad. Relationships all the way

65. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant 

— have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: Ew no way. I’d maybe kiss my fiance, but not before we’re engaged XD

67. drank hard liquor: Ew absolutely not! 

68. turned someone down: One time in high school a boy wanted to touch my butt and I shut that down hard. Oh, and another time this boy asked out about 5 girls at the same time, including me and my friend, and we both told him that that is not a good way to go about getting a girlfriend.

69. sex on first date: Ewwwww, save that for marriage please

70: broken someone’s heart: I really hope not

71. had your heart broken: Ha. Ha ha. Yeah. About three times. The first time was the worst

72. been arrested: Nope

73. cried when someone died: Absolutely. 

74. fallen for a friend: Well... I guess he still considers us friends, so yeah

— do you believe in

75. yourself: Mostly. Sometimes I panic, but for the most part yes.

76. miracles: Definitely

77. love at first sight: Yes, and it gets me into trouble XD But I also believe in falling slowly

78. santa claus: Well... I believe in the spirit of Santa. I never actually believed in the person of Santa Claus because Jesus is the reason for the season

79. angels: Yes

— misc

80. eye colour: Blue green. And it changes on a day to day basis

81. best friend’s name: @random----fandoms

82. favourite movie: This is an unfair question XD I love anything Disney, Narnia, or Star Wars. And don’t forget the forever underappreciated “The Adventures of Tintin (2011)”

83. favourite actor: Kara Lindsay

84. favourite cartoon: Kim Possible all the way. Also the old Loony Toons are great, as well as the new Tangled Series.

85. favourite teacher’s name: Mrs. B, Mrs. K, and Mrs. L were all so incredibly influential in my life. Mrs. B was like my crazy fun aunt who encouraged me to just be me. I came out of my shell so much because of her. Mrs. K encouraged me very early on as a writer, and she helped steer me towards my current career path. Mrs. L was my school mom. She also dragged me out of my shell and shaped me into the singer/actress I am today. 

[goodnightmoonvale]

92 truths tag

RULES: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you. at the end choose 25 people to be tagged.

Tagged by @radio-charlie . . . sort of

LAST:

drink: water

phone call: idk, I don't answer my phone

text message: to my husband to tell him I was on the way home from work

song you listened to:  There's A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought Of It Yet by Panic! At The Disco

time you cried: Tuesday at my therapy appointment

HAVE YOU EVER:

dated someone twice: no

been cheated on: probably. Given that I didn't realize what was probably happening until we were already broken up, I'll likely never know for sure

lost someone special: no one I love has died yet. I'm worried I'm not going to deal with it well when it finally does happen

been depressed: oh yeah

been drunk and thrown up: nope! I've never even been drunk, lmao

IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

made a new friend: yes? I hope some of my Discord peeps would count me as a friend . . . 

fallen out of love: nope

laughed until you cried: I honestly don't remember. Probably. I get giggly when I'm tired and I've been tired a lot this past year

met someone who changed you: yeah, I mean every friend you make changes you a little, right?

found out who your true friends are: I honestly don't really label someone as a friend unless I am pretty sure I can call them a true friend for the most part

found out someone was talking about you : no, I am usually completely clueless if people are talking about me

GENERAL:

how many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: Uh, well, there is exactly 1 person I follow on Tumblr who I went to high school with, but she doesn't know it's me (it's not weird; she's a semi-popular comic strip artist and lots of people follow her) Otherwise I keep my Tumblr pretty separate from my real life

do you have any pets?: nope, our apartment doesn't allow them and also my husband doesn't really like animals 

do you want to change your name?: Naw, my name is fine

what time did you wake up this morning: 6:30am

what were you doing last night: eating, putting the kids to bed, working on more work stuff, doing the dishes, staying up late for no reason

name something you cannot wait for: spring, I'm getting pretty sick of this Seasonal Affective Disorder shit, yo

have you ever talked to a person named tom?: Yep, one of my friends in highschool was named Tom. He was very tall and big and had a loud voice and played Gaston in Beauty and the Beast (but was actually one of the nicest guys I knew)

what’s getting on your nerves right now: my back/neck has been tense for like 3 days and it keeps giving me a headache

blood type: uh forgot, A+ maybe?

nickname: "Orenijūsu" by my dad when I was a kid, "Spiderman", "La Reine", and "Butterfingers", all by a particularly nickname-prone supervisor in college, "Moon" and "Moonie" by my Discord peeps. I don't have an actual nickname that someone calls me on a regular basis anymore (tbh my real name is fairly hard to nickname especially since I got married and changed my last name)

relationship status: married

zodiac sign: Scorpio

pronouns: she/her, they/them

favorite show: Mythbusters

college: Brigham Young University, aka BYU

hair color: brown and hot pink atm. Need to bleach the rest of it and dye it purple again.

do you have a crush on someone: nope

what do you like about yourself: my singing voice. 

FIRSTS:

first surgery: wisdom teeth (yeah, they put me all the way out because they had to chip my wisdom teeth out in little tiny pieces)

first piercing: the normal earlobes ones

first sport you joined: softball

first vacation: uh . . . I think we went to Disneyworld when I was 3 and don't remember; idk if that counts as a first vacation or not though

first pair of sneakers: literally no idea

RIGHT NOW:

eating: shredded wheat

drinking: the milk out of the bowl

i’m about to: take a shower and go to work

listening to: Effington by Ben Folds

want kids: yep! Got me some :) I'll probably have another one in a few years

get married: already am :)

career: marketing

WHICH IS BETTER:

lips or eyes: both are good ;)

hugs or kisses: hugs! You can get them from more people

shorter or taller: idk, I'm fairly short so not many guys are shorter than me 

older or younger: around my age? Not too much younger for sure, a couple years younger and everyone starts seeming like a baby. But I feel like dating someone too much older would be weird

romantic or spontaneous: are those opposites?

sensitive or loud: sensitive. Loud people make me nervous bc my family is fairly quiet

hookup or relationship : relationship

troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant. I'm kind of terrified of getting in trouble, I don't want the person I'm with to rachet up my anxiety

HAVE YOU EVER:

kissed a stranger: mmmmm, nope

drank hard liquor: nope

lost contacts/glasses: no, don't wear 'em

sex on first date: nope

broken someone’s heart: unfortunately. I was just out of a serious relationship and not looking for anything too serious and he sprung "I love you" on me like 3 days after we kissed for the first time. In retrospect it was probably good I got out but I did it in the most dickish way possible, so that's still one of those things that I think about at 3am when my brain is showing me a movie of all the awful and awkward things I've ever done in my life

been arrested: nope

turned someone down: see above

fallen for a friend: yes - was friends with my husband for a couple years before I realized I liked him

DO YOU BELIEVE:

in yourself: depends on what I'm doing, I suppose

miracles: theoretically yes. have I seen any in my own life? Not sure

love at first sight: attraction, yes, love, no

I don't think I have 25 individual people to tag in this so if you read this consider yourself tagged (seriously I would love reading your responses if you want to do this but I hate pressuring ppl into stuff and this is super long so only do it if you want to. But tag me if you do so I see it!)

[cosmosogler]

a job offer was made.

i woke up early, but left late. felt lethargic and didn’t want to see people. 

class went fine, until the end. we got out 13 minutes late so we only had 2 minutes to prepare for quantum. i didn’t get to go to the bathroom. that ended up being ok though.

we got our midterms back. i got a 58%.

well, quantum started, so i had to put it away quickly and get my other notebook out. i made it 35 minutes into that lecture before i got up and went to the bathroom.

when i got in the stall i turned around and put my head against the door. well, i put my arm against the door, and put my head against my arm, because i don’t know what happens in there. 

i didn’t really, feel very strongly about it, at first, but i knew i needed to be alone for a few minutes. the thoughts got to be a lot though.

it feels like nothing i do even matters. why even try. i’m so stupid. i thought i could make things better... 

not every day, but a lot of days, i wonder if i made the right choice. but i don’t really want to make any other choice. i guess my parents spoiled me. i always need to get what i want.

i mean, i barely ever do, even when i ask for it or work hard for it. but i am stupid, and i was thinking, maybe, this time, it would be different?

i don’t understand. i knew what the questions wanted. i knew i’d gotten that information before, twice even, for some of the questions! nothing on that test was a surprise and i knew that. i even found myself understanding what was happening better as i derived some energy equations. i used my accommodation time and took it slow and felt satisfied with what i could accomplish without running up against the clock. 

what happened?

did i just not... study enough? i know “it’s a start” isn’t the same as “i did good,” but... this was the most i’ve ever done, aside from when i studied for the physics gre. 

people who did really good on this midterm got the same gre percentile as me. why am i so different when i take written tests? why am i so stupid that i can talk about quantum and explain stuff to my classmates, but the second a professor asks me to demonstrate what i know, i suddenly don’t know ANYTHING?

i don’t understand.

so i continued my grade school tradition of crying in the bathroom. this time was kind of better because i didn’t make any noise. i waited until the red left my face and went back to class. 

a couple of my classmates seemed pretty down too. i found out after quantum that i actually didn’t do the worst in the class, by a kind of noticeable margin. suzanne said that it might not get curved, but that the percentages don’t work the same way in grad school. she said the class grade typically gets split into two major groups with the higher group getting an a and the lower group getting around a b.

it was really discouraging because if i had done as well on the rest of the test as i did on the first third, i would have passed with a good grade. something in my brain stopped working after i got through the first problem and i didn’t notice.

i didn’t put any effort into making jokes today but i did mumble to luis on the way out for lab practice that “at least i moved up in the class rank since the prelims. since i did infinitely better on this one than that one.” 

he didn’t talk about his grade with me. i didn’t think about it really but i did notice he didn’t put much effort into looking not dead today either.

the lab was good. i looked around and said “ok who’s going to be my victim this week?” and i immediately picked soham and said i wanted to get to know him better. by working for several hours on a basic physics lab, we would accomplish getting to know each other better.

he was a little bossy at first but he cooled off once we got everything working properly. it didn’t take long to figure out why he was kind of fussy about the lab though. 

we were really, really good at it. i joked that he lined up the radius on the thing so well that there couldn’t possibly be even an atom out of place. he laughed and made rock-out fingers at me.

the professor said errors on the order of 5% would be good if you knew what you were doing. ours were under one percent. we finished first.

“yeah, team hypercompetence!” i cheered when our second error reading came out to like 0.8%. after that he started leaning on me for calculations a little more while he took data. and we took notes for our lectures.

we also didn’t leave the hanger on the spinning bar to get launched off even once. a couple tables around us did. forget to take off the hanger before starting to spin the thing, i mean.

that gave me a whole hour to mope before my e&m test. i sat at my desk and clicked idly at a logic puzzle while everyone else sat at their desks and clicked idly at their computers. none of us really offered any jokes. i was so bummed i didn’t know what to do with myself. 

at 2:55 i went to take my test. suzanne wished me luck and i thanked her and told them all to have good luck during their lecture. wasn’t sure what else to say.

the test went kind of awful? i knew what the questions were and how to set up the problems and the general procedure, it was basically harder versions of what i had just gone over with suzanne last night. i felt like i was forgetting a step somewhere even though i made sure to explicitly show how the boundary conditions affected my theoretical model of the system and where infinite series could be chopped up to lead to “more efficiency” in calculations based off my conjured equation. the professor had been big on that in class. 

i think i got one answer either completely right or almost right, but i don’t want to commit to that. i didn’t finish the first problem though even with the extra half time. 

i dunno man i guess being bummed AND intimidated by the professor had like a negative effect on my ability to perform on a test or something? that was mysterious.

afterward i went back into the office and we all dicked around for a while before anyone wanted to leave. harrison tried to cajole me into joking about my sarcasm some more but i wasn’t really having it. i don’t really remember what it was like to just be nineteen. 

like i had started this blog by then and i remember when i was nineteen. but it was so eaten up and engulfed by how severe my depression was getting that i just... don’t remember anything else except feeling so horrible that reality stopped meaning anything. so it’s hard to gauge how much energy a nineteen year old should have or what kinds of things people that age would normally think about. he is in the unusual position of being a graduate student but at the same time, like, he’s practically my brother’s age. being a teenager sucks.

i wasn’t really going anywhere in particular with that. just trying to understand my classmates a little better i guess. where they’re at and where they’re coming from. what a good response might be.

anyway my writing time is ended but i’m gonna keep going because important stuff happened after that too.

so around 4:50 or so we left for the bar, me and jennica and keegan and rebika. harrison was really dodgy about our invitation and left pretty abruptly when we were ready to go. i expressed the desire to beat up his mother to the others after he left.

like he doesn’t have to drink or anything but he is an adult and should be able to go out with his colleagues on a friday at least.

we sat outdoors since the weather was basically great. a bunch of guys sat at the table upwind of us and started smoking huge cigars which really irritated my throat. i started having coughing fits again so we moved tables.

i’ve noticed over the last week or so that i jump about three feet in the air every time i am touched unexpectedly. and if my classmates get too close to me when we are clustered together for whatever reason, or when jennica tries to lean in and gestures wildly, i shuffle away. 

she’s a very enthusiastic story teller. she was showing me a map on her phone today while covering basically the whole screen with her hand and scrolling around violently so that i actually felt motion sick.

anyway i didn’t drink. i told suzanne i wasn’t really in a very good position to be drinking right now. i had to wait like 20 minutes at the bar to even ask for food though. i guess someone has to go last. and by “last” i mean “after every person who comes up to the bar after all my friends have gotten their drinks and left.” the bar apparently is able to substitute tempeh for basically any meat in any of their dishes so i got buffalo tempeh mac and cheese. it was interesting. keegan expressed interest though. maybe he’ll get it next time.

i stayed at the table talkin with the other graduate students (some first year, some second year, some later, one from astronomy, etc) until it was dark. i didn’t stop feeling sick and miserable though. but i did find a time to visit the bank with jennica to set up my own private account with no mom germs on it. we’re going on tuesday after we’re done teaching. and suzanne told me about a much cheaper apartment complex that seems to have everything i pay for here AND more space. it’s like 300 dollars a month cheaper. actually my classmates seemed concerned that i was spending so much money on rent for a studio apartment. suzanne’s the only one who’s actually been into my home so far though and she was able to compare a lot for me.

i think i will move into that place next year instead of staying here. i like it here, it’s perfectly acceptable, but the money i could save would really add up... i could buy nice food instead of 7-minute rice sides. or, like, buy a ticket to disneyworld every month or something, i don’t know. or pay for my own insurance, or something.

on my way out i was stopped by some grad students i’ve spent time with but not personally spoken to. i mostly heckle the one guy while he plays ping pong but he’s really super good at it. he bought his own paddle and everything, but sometimes trick shots on a wobbly uneven table just don’t work out and it’s fun to tease. 

anyway this guy motioned for me to come over and said his friend was required to do some recruiting. and that he’d been smoking weed, i guess? the guy looked like he’d been hit by a truck. and he misheard a lot of my questions but we got that cleared up pretty fast when he was having very strange reactions to questions like “is this a shadowing-for-a-day sort of thing or is it a work-all-summer-i’ve-sold-my-soul-to-you sort of thing?”

he wanted me to work in his lab. he said he’d seen me loitering outside the e&m professor’s lab a couple times this semester. i’d seen him too while i was loitering. 

i’ve read all the posters in that hallway a couple times over each. the e&m professor doesn’t really do short answers to short questions. everything’s gotta be a 30-minute production. like that time i had to wait outside his office for 35 minutes.

anyway he said i might like working in his professor’s lab, which works with ultra low energy matter. i brightened. he said it was mostly helium isotopes. he might have said other stuff but i was trying to get, like, the location of the lab out of him so i didn’t hear everything he said. i made a memo on my phone to go talk to him on monday before my office hour.

i kinda struggled with this new information while i was heading out of the bar and dislodging my bike from the rack outside the church next door. and while i was biking home. and while i was taking off my backpack, and while i was brushing snoopy and giving her a good pet-down. 

like i’ve been so busy... i’ve had “talk to a faculty member about their project” on my to-do list for a week now and i haven’t been able to even go upstairs to look at their project titles. i’ve been trying so hard to be proactive but i really don’t have energy to actively do literally everything in my life. and this, kinda random, opportunity gets dropped in my lap. i feel kind of suspicious about it. like this could go a number of ways.

on the one hand, it might be a fun thing to learn about for a few days while i get introduced to other faculty members. or i might stick with this for a while. or forever. i get the feeling this is going to be a major life point coming up but i don’t have any real evidence other than an uneasy feeling. 

i also don’t have the grades to justify being really for real actually hired to work under a professor. i just really like working with machinery and i feel like i’m decent enough at it. “born to be an experimentalist,” suzanne smiled during our lunch break today. we get pizza during the practice lab sessions. we are supposed to be paying for it but i think our supervisor forgot about that. i wonder how many groups of grad students he’s “forgotten” to get payment from.

i’m decent with machinery, but i get the feeling if i spent time developing the skill i could get really good at it. i like fixing things. even during our advanced labs in undergrad i kinda liked troubleshooting and seeing all the very strange ways stuff could go wrong. it was frustrating because we were on a serious time crunch, especially with the part we needed not actually available any more, but i dunno. i get it in a way i can’t very well with math.

just gotta figure out how to link the two and i might be good to go as far as having a real life job that’s not teaching goes.

i liked programming too. computers always do exactly what you tell them to do. i think it’s really funny how badly stuff can go sideways, even if troubleshooting for eight hours might get “i’m going to give myself a hernia” levels of frustrating.

tomorrow i’m going to bike over to gamestop and see about getting that marshadow that’s been distributed. and i think i want to swim, too. groceries will probably be on the small side this week since mom never paid back that 900 money that i actually do need. she never explained why she took it either. 

i’m very suspicious that it’s a “surprise” that i neither asked for nor approved of, and which a very large portion of my money has been used for.

might be a paycheck +10% i’m just not going to get back. basically an entire rent payment down the drain.

opening a new bank account for myself will be a good thing i think. i’m glad jennica is going with me.

it’s now 11:10, which is 25 minutes past when i have decided is my “stop writing” time. it’s been a long day... next week is gonna bring a lot of trouble i think. between the bad grades and the “free speech” exhibition on thursday and not being able to see my drc aid for another week in a row and the new lab arrangement which is still very nebulous... i dunno. i’m real tired. 

at least snoopy had a good evening. i petted her, wiped her down with the dandruff wipe thing, brushed her, gave her cookies and some catnip, AND played with her for a while. she didn’t feel like playing back today but after talking with other people about their cats i’m starting to think that might be normal for some cats.

also i scratched my face REAL bad last night and it’s been hurting all day. i did a pretty good job of not messing with it today though. i will try to continue not hurting myself. i promise it was an accident, i was half asleep at the time.

[ackerman-angel]

Know me ever MORE

I was tagged by @comewhatmay-dontgiveafuck (thank youu! it makes me so happ whenever I’m tagged in things <3)

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people (this is gonna take a while lol)

I’m doing this as a bit of fun so if I’ve tagged you it’s up to you whether you want to do it or not :)

LAST...

Drink: Tea Phone Call: My dad Text message: The phone company I’m with (I’m sooo popular) Song you listened to: Piece By Piece by The Hunna Time you cried: A few days ago

HAVE YOU…

Dated someone twice: No Kissed someone and regretted it: Nah Been cheated on: I’ve never been in a real realtionship so no Lost someone special: Luckily I haven’t yet Been depressed: Yes, unfortunately Gotten drunk and thrown up: I’ve never been drunk (I’m still underage lmao)

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: Blue, Lilac, Burgundy

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

Made new friends: Yes, I’ve become closer to a lot more people Fallen out of love: nope Laughed until you cried: Yes. Many times (my friends are hilarious) Found out someone was talking about you: Not that I can remember Met someone who changed you: This year I’ve met new friends which make me so much happier, and I guess that’s changed me in the sense that I’ve found the courage to talk to new people and to get away from toxic friendships (wow this got deep pretty quickly) Found out who your friends are: yes Kissed someone from your Facebook list:  no

GENERAL

How many Facebook friends do you know irl: I know pretty much all of them Do you have any pets: I have two dogs Do you want to change your name: No What did you do for your last Birthday: I went out for a meal with my friends (although it was fun, I wouldn’t consider some of the people that went my close friends anymore) What time did you wake up: 6AM What were you doing at midnight last night: Asleep Name something you can't wait for: I’m super hyped for snk season 3 and I’m excited to go to Disneyworld in Florida next month!! When was the last time you saw your mom: an hour ago What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I wish I’d taken up a musical instrument when I was younger, it’s honestly my biggest regret that I never took up piano because I think it sounds beautiful and it genuinely makes me so upset that I can’t play it (another reason why Your Lie in April makes me so emotional) What are you listening to right now: Nothing Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: There was a Tommy in my primary school if that counts?? Something that is getting on your nerves: My house is super messy and it irritates me so much that I cannot function Most visited website: Tumblr, Youtube, My school website

RANDOM INFO

Mole/s: I only have a few that are on my arms Mark/s: I have a birthmark on the right side of my stomach Childhood dream: To be an archaeologist Hair colour: Light Brown and it turns slightly lighter at the ends Long or short hair: Medium Do you have a crush on someone: Nope, I mean I love Levi but that can’t happen unfortunately What do you like about yourself: Physically I love my eyes (they’re brown and they’re quite big) and personality wise I like that I have ambition and want to try my best to go far and succeed Piercings: None at the moment but I might get my ears pierced Blood type: I don’t actually know (that’s really bad oops but my parents have never said) Nickname: People just call me by my full name - Holly Relationship status: Single Zodiac: Aquarius Pronouns: She/Her Favorite TV Show(S): Bad Education, Friends and RuPaul’s Drag Race Tattoos: No Right or left hand: Right Surgery: Haven’t had it (touch wood) Hair dyed in different colour: I ‘dip-dyed’ my hair blonde when I was twelve (I use the term ‘dip-dye’ loosely since it was a block of blonde and looked horrible)

Sport: I just recently quit Swimming after doing competitively for 8 years and I’m now joining a netball team Vacation: US, Italy, France, Greece, Turkey, Spain Pair of trainers: I have 2 pairs

WHICH IS BETTER?

Hugs or kisses: hugs Lips or eyes: Eyes Shorter or taller: Taller Older or younger: Preferably the same age but a couple of years older is fine since I’d prefer someone more mature Nice arms or nice stomach: Stomach Sensitive or loud: Sensitive Hook up or relationship: Relationship Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant

Kissed a Stranger: no Drank hard liquor: Nope Lost glasses/contact lenses: I don’t wear any Turned someone down: I have and I regret it

Sex on the first date: No way Broken someone’s heart: I think so and I felt terrible Had your heart broken: No Been arrested: No Cried when someone died: I’ve cried when characters in shows have died but I haven’t had any experienced the death of anyone close to me Fallen for a friend: Yes, and it ruins things ugh

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

Yourself: Sometimes Miracles: No Love at first sight: It depends Kiss on the first date: I’ve never been on a date but it depends on the situation

OTHER

Current best friend name: Izzy and Katie Eye color: Brown Favorite movie: Probably Captain America: Winter Soldier

I tag; @rightoveryonder @levi-nyanchou @piecks @superjaegerbros @i-am-armin-arlert @apetitan but this is a very long tag so I don’t expect you to do it if you don’t want to :)

[raccoonscity]

Tagged by: @jackkrauser Tagging: anyone who wants to do this.

THE LAST:  1. drink: some kind of tea 2. phone call: my friend Jen (like a month ago lmao) 3. text message: n/a 4. song you listened to: utada hikaru - oozora de dakishimete 5. time you cried: when my cat died

HAVE YOU: 6. dated someone twice: No 7. kissed someone and regretted it: No and no 8. been cheated on: No 9. lost someone special: Yeah 10. been depressed: Currently 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: No

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Lilac purple, light gray, gold

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. made new friends: Yeah but I’m probably not going to talk to any of them since I just graduate 16. fallen out of love: Maybe? 17. laughed until you cried: Probably 18. found out someone was talking about you: Why would someone talk about me lmao 19. met someone who changed you: No 20. found out who your friends are: Same as before 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: The answer’s no either way, but I don’t remember who’s on my facebook list besides family

GENERAL: 22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them, but they aren’t all people I see everyday 23. do you have any pets: My cat Butter and some fish 24. do you want to change your name: No 25. what did you do for your last birthday: I think it was a school day 26. what time did you wake up: 1:30pm but the last two weeks I was waking up at 9am 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Watching Friends

28. name something you can’t wait for: Honestly to have an apartment all to myself 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: A few hours ago 30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: To actually have motivation, confidence, and competency to do things 31. what are you listening right now: The new Utada song 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: My grandfather is named Tom! 33. something that is getting on your nerves: Trump! Certain discourse subjects! My teeth! 34. most visited website: This dumb site

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. mole/s: A few, I think 36. mark/s: I scar on my bottom lip, my elbow, my wrist, and some freckles 37. childhood dream: I think I wanted to be a teacher and a singer when I was younger. 38. haircolor: Light brown 39. long or short hair: My hair’s kind of long right now 40. do you have a crush on someone: No 41. what do you like about you: I don’t know?? 43. bloodtype: Not sure, but it might be A+ which is my mom’s 44. nickname: Ash mainly 45. relationship status: Single 46. zodiac: Virgo 47. pronouns: She/her 48. favorite TV Show: Friends, That 70′s Show, How I Met Your Mother, Psycho-Pass 49. tattoos: None 50. right or left hand: Left 51. surgery: None 52. hair dyed in different color: Never did it before but maybe I’d do gray or auburn 53. sport: I don’t know what that is?? 55. vacation: I went to Busch Gardens and Disneyworld in Florida with grandparents (two separate times) and I went to Ocean City with my best friend’s family in 2015 56. pair of trainers: A purple/indigo pair

MORE GENERAL: 57. eating: Nothing at the moment 58. drinking: Tea 59. i’m about to: go to sleep 61. waiting for: The D23 KH3 news 62. want: More sleep 63. get married: No 64. career: Video game developer

65. hugs or kisses: Hugs 66. lips or eyes: Eyes 67. shorter or taller: I don’t care 68. older or younger: In the same age range 70. nice arms or nice stomach: ???? 71. sensitive or loud: Sensitive 72. hook up or relationship: Neither 73. troublemaker or hesitant: ????

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. kissed a stranger: No 75. drank hard liquor: No 76. lost glasses/contact lenses: No 77. turned someone down: No 78. had sex on the first date: No 79. broken someone’s heart: Not that I know of 80. had your heart broken: No 81. been arrested: No 82. cried when someone died: If my cat counts 83. fallen for a friend: No

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. yourself: No lmao 85. miracles: Ehhh 86. love at first sight: Not really but my opinion on the subject’s irrelevant 87. santa claus: No 88. kiss on the first date: This doesn’t affect me

OTHER: 90. current best friend name: Jennifer 91. eye color: Blue/gray 92. favorite movie: Moulin Rouge!

[hes-a-rainbow]

92 Truths

I was tagged by @whoopsharrystyles !

THE LAST…

1. Drink: Caramel Iced latte from Dunkin Donuts

2. Phone call: my mom, I asked her if she wanted dunkin donuts

3. Text message: "What’s the app you use to sell stuff?”

4. Song you listened to: "Wild Horses” The Rolling Stones

5. Time you cried: Yesterday when I watched Wonder Woman for the first time. Steve Trevor was a true hero

HAVE YOU EVER…

6. Dated someone twice: No

7. Been cheated on: No

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: Nah

9. Lost someone special: Yes

10. Been depressed: Yes, officially now for about 10 years.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: no, I really don’t drink excessively 

12. LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS: dark green, maroon, and most recently, yellow.

13. Had an allergic reaction to something:  hell yea, apples. I eat them everyday but my lips get all puffy.

14. Gotten in a physical fight with someone: Hell yea.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

15. Made new friends: Yes!

16. Fallen out of love: Don’t think so

17. Laughed until you cried: Of course

18. Found out someone was talking about you: Not that I can recall

19. Met someone who changed you: Yes!

20. Found out who your true friends are: I’ve remained friends with the same people for a few years now. The people I’ve met in the past year are some of the most genuine people I’ve ever known.

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: no

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: All of them. I don’t accept requests from people I don’t know.

23. Do you have any pets: I used too, she passed away a few week ago :(

24. Do you want to change your name: Yes, I would like to change it to Seth Rogen.

25. What did you do for your last birthday: I turned 21 so i went out with family and friends and had a party.

26. What time did you wake up: I woke up at like 9am, went back to sleep and then woke up again at 12ish

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Watching Hemlock Grove (my new favorite show) and starting a new knitting project.

28. Name something you cannot wait for: Going to Florida with my BFF/GF Julia 

29. When was the last time you saw your mother? A few minutes ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I would say my mental illness issues, but they made me who I am today. I don’t think I would change anything because everything happens for a reason.  

31. What are you listening to right now: the air conditioning

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: My OCD

34. Most visited website: Tumblr/Twitter, instagram? I’m not sure if that counts as a website or app.

35. Elementary: Good

36. High School: Hell

37. College/university: Still gonna be at it for some time.

38. Hair colour: Brown

39. Long or short hair: medium

40.  Do you have a crush on someone: Julia, Sebastian Stan, Harry Styles, Bill Skarsgard, Chloe Bennet, and Kevin Spacey.

41. What do you like about yourself: I can usually find humor in any situation. (both a good and bad thing)

42. Piercings: Just on my ears.

43. Blood Type: I have no idea.

44. Nickname: Brooklyn, Brookie, Bitch

45. Relationship status: Single

46. Zodiac sign: Gemini

47. Pronouns: She/her

48. Favourite TV show: Tough one but probably The Office

49. Tattoos: 0

50. Right or left hand: Right

FIRST…

51. Surgery: got my wisdom teeth removed

52. Piercing: My ears

54. Sport: I used to play field hockey

55. Vacation: Probably to DisneyWorld/Florida

56. Pair of trainers: ????

57. Eating: I have no idea

58. Drinking: boob juice

59. I’m about to: Watch some more Hemlock Grove, work on my knitting project, then finish packing.

60. Listening to: I think this was asked already...

61. Waiting for: Vacation!

62. Want: money $$

63. Get married: I don’‘t know what the question is...but yea I would like to get married someday.

64. Career: Hopefully working for Disney

YOUR TYPE…

65. Hugs or kisses: Humans= hugs, dogs=kisses

66. Lips or eyes: Eyes

67. Shorter or taller: Almost everyone I meet is taller than me, but I honestly wouldn’t mind someone shorter.

68. Older or younger: Either

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: never thought about it?

71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive AND loud

72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship

73. Troublemaker or Hesitant: honestly, both. But it could also be because I’m a Gemini.

HAVE YOU EVER…

74. Kissed a stranger?: Nope

75. Drank hard liquor?: No

76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: I thought I lost my glasses once, but it turned out Juia’s mom ‘accidentally’ stole them/

77. Turned someone down: I prefer ghosting

78. Sex on first date: Never came up

79. Broken someone’s heart: I sure hope so

80. Had your heart broken: Yes

81. Been arrested: No

82. Cried when someone died: Yes

83. Fallen for a friend: Yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

84. Yourself: Mostly

85. Miracles: Yes

86. Love at first sight: Not sure. I believe in fate and that everything happens for a reason.

87. Santa Claus: Nah (but I didn’t stop believing for an embarrassingly long amount of time. 

88. Kiss on the first date: If I want.

89. Angels: Yes

OTHER…

90. Current best friend’s name: Julia

91. Eye colour: Brown

92. Favourite movie: Holy rats, I have so many to name a few:Step Brothers, Frozen, The Royal Tenanbaums, basically all the Captain America movies, Avengers (1 not 2), Rocky Horror Picture Show, The Departed, and you can’t go wrong with a good Star Wars movie marathon.

I tag @hardliquorhaz , @papercrownskidd , and @beswentley

[phantombrushy]

Tag Game

‘Cuz I really need to be more active but I hit an art block. Consider yourself tagged if you’re reading this <3

Tagged by @deidadadorable (sort of, fyi I’m cool with being tagged in stuff)

Last: drink – Pineapple juice call – My ma song I listened to – Spliff by Bilderbuch time I cried – March??? I think??? What is crying??? Seriously, I cry maybe once or twice a year, so I don’t know

have you ever: dated someone twice – Nah been cheated on - I have no clue, I’ve dated only three people kissed someone and regretted it –  Lip virgin here lost someone special –  Idk what this means. I guess friendship-wise, yeah, tons of times. Death? Nah been depressed – I’m not sure I could be diagnosed with depression, but who knows? been drunk and thrown up – I don’t drink, I hate the taste and smell of alcohol

in the past year, have you? made a new friend – Yep fallen out of love –  Can’t do that if you don’t fall in love laughed until you cried –  I think so met someone who changed you –  Probably, that’s not something I always notice found out who your true friends are –  Not in the past year, no found out someone was talking about you – No, but I wouldn’t be surprised if people were

general: how many people on tumblr do you know irl –  Four or five do you have any pets – Fishies do you want to change your name –  That varies; sometimes I hate it and sometimes idgaf. I personally don’t like to say my name out loud, and I really hate having to deal with the mispronouncing and ‘oh like Miley Cyrus???’ time you woke up this morning –  I woke up at 9 this morning because I went to bed at 4 in the morning, normally I wake up at 7 though what were you doing last night - Watching Law & Order name something you cannot wait for -  Star Trek Las Vegas Convention (because Karl Urban that’s why) have you ever talked to a person named tom –  I don’t think so  what’s getting on your nerves right now – The fucking heat nickname –  I refuse to acknowledge my dad’s nicknames for me zodiac sign –  Leo pronouns –  I respond to she/her but I really don't care what you guys call me fave tv show – Star Trek, Supernatural, Law & Order, Almost Human (because I can’t pick one) college –  Community college hair colour –  Dark brown do you have a crush on someone – Aromantic here, but if celebrity crushes count: Karl Urban (duh) what do you like about yourself – Eh idk, I guess the fact that once I’m interested in something I do a lot of research on it, so if you talk to me about something I was interested in at one point or another I definitely know what I’m talking about righty or lefty – Right

firsts: surgery –  A month and a half ago, cryosurgery piercing – Ears  best friend -  Um... honestly, I’m not sure how to answer this. Are they really your best friend if they lie to you the whole time and then stab you in the back? Yeah I’m a bitter bitch. And I’m paranoid so I don’t want to jinx it with my current friend vacation –  February 1999, Disneyworld (I wasn’t even one yet) pair of sneakers – 6th grade, Mizuno brand

random: eating –  Not eating right now, but now I’m hungry, so a sammich  i’m about to –  Read some Avengers fanfic because I really hated Civil War and need to feel better about it (wtf were you thinking Steve you’re an idiot) listening to –  Hairpsray soundtrack want kids –  No fucking kids. I love them but my family has a history of being terrible parents so I’m stopping the cycle with me get married –  If I ever get married it’s for tax benefits career – Hopefully Radiation technology/therapy, that’s what I’m on track for right now

which is better: lips or eyes – Eh it depends, I’m not that picky hugs or kisses - Hugs definitely shorter or taller – I’d probably have to say taller because it’s hard to be shorter than me anyways older or younger – Older. I’m always attracted to older men (there’s at least a 20 year age difference I’m not joking) romantic or spontaneous – Uhhhhhh... idk sensitive or loud – Both hookup or relationship – I honestly have no clue trouble-maker or hesitant – Hesitant

have you ever: kissed a stranger – Nope drank hard liquor – Nope lost glasses or contacts – I didn’t lose my reading glasses, someone actually stole them the little fucks. How I know? I put my glasses in my case before I left for school but didn’t take them out all day. I come home and I need to use them; I open the case and they aren’t in there. sex on the first date – If I wasn’t aro ace it would depend honestly. I’m pretty sure if you were really attractive with both personality and looks (sometimes I find someone physically attractive no matter what if I really like their personality) and you made a move I’d reciprocate broken someone’s heart – I have no clue honestly, no one likes to tell me anything and I’m an oblivious person been arrested – No, and probably won’t be in the future turned someone down – Plenty of times fallen for a friend – Nope

do you believe in: yourself – No miracles – No love at first sight – No

[jonathan-byers-remade]

i was tagged by @fleursdelcour​ thank you dearie!! <3

rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose however many people you want to tag!

i tag: @bensolcs​ @perksofbeingafanboy​ @barryallhan​ @ahdromeda​ @kuailiang​ & @fabulousyoungblood​

 LAST

[1] drink: water [2] phone call: grandmother [3] text message: my best friend ryann [4] song you listened to: down by the river - milky chance [5] time you cried: a week ago

HAVE YOU EVER

[6] dated someone twice: no [7] been cheated on: no [8] kissed someone and regretted it: no [9] lost someone special: yes [10] been depressed: yes [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: no

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS

[12] purple [13] rose gold [14] grey

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

[15] made new friends: yes [16] fallen out of love: no [17] laughed until you cried: no [18] found out someone was talking about you: no [19] met someone who changed you: no [20] found out who your true friends are: yes [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: no 

GENERAL

[22] how many of your tumblr friends do you know in real life: 4 :) [23] do you have any pets: yes! i’m a cat mom [24] do you want to change your name: no [25] what did you do for your last birthday: me and my family went out to eat and shopped; me and my friends went to the zoo [26] what time did you wake up: 5:30am [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping

[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: last month :( [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: not being so scared of being myself [31] what are you listening to right now: some nights - fun. [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes [33] something that is getting on your nerves: my teachers  [35] elementary: done [36] high school: junior [37] college: want to go; majoring in dramatic arts [38] hair color: red-brown [39] long or short hair: long [40] do you have a crush on someone: yes [41] what do you like about yourself?:my creativity [42] piercings: none [44] nickname: angie [45] relationship status: super single :( [46] zodiac sign: libra [47] pronouns: she/her [48] fav tv show: supernatural [49] tattoos: none [50] right or left handed: right

FIRST

[51] surgery: none [52] piercing: ears, but they closed up [53] best friend: a girl named lauren, haven’t seen her in YEARS [54] sport: softball [55] vacation: disneyworld [56] pair of trainers: idk

RIGHT NOW

[57] eating: nothing [58] drinking: water [59] I’m about to: making gifs [60] listening to: clouds - milky chance [61] waiting for: summer break [62] want: to eat [63] get married: i want to in the future [64] career: an actress

WHICH IS BETTER

[65] hugs or kisses: both [66] lips or eyes: eyes [67] shorter or taller: taller [68] older or younger: older [69] romantic or spontaneous: romantic [70] nice arms or nice stomach: nice arms [71] sensitive or loud: both [72] hook up or relationship: relationship [73] troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER

[74] kissed a stranger? no [75] drank hard liquor? no [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? no [77] turned someone down: no [78] sex on the first date? no [79] broken someone’s heart? no? [80] had your own heart broken? yes [81] been arrested? no [82] cried when someone died? yes [83] fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

[84] yourself? not really [85] miracles? yes [86] love at first sight? yes [87] Santa Claus? no [88] kiss on the first date? yes [89] angels? no

OTHER

[90] current best friend’s name: ryann [91] eye color:  brown [92] favorite movie: coraline

[lavieboheme930]

Boys In The Band

Do you feel comfortable wearing tube tops? Hell no Has something someone said today annoyed you? Nope Can you hear the crickets chirping at night? No. Do you like listening to new music, or just sticking to your favorites? Sticking to my favorites So far, where have you been on vacation? Nowhere this year

Did you ever feel that there was something you couldn’t tell anyone? Yes, but now with my group of friends I know I can tell them anything

Do you tend to gossip, even if you don’t mean it to cause harm? Nope When was the last time you were bitten by a bug? Last summer Have you ever gotten your hair permed? No. Do you have a pair of sunglasses that are worth over $200? Yes, my perscription ones Would you ever go on a trip to Europe? Totally.  Planning a trip to Wales some day with my besties. Are you brave when it comes to trying new foods? Yes When was the last time you saw your significant other? I’m single. Is there a friend that you can always go to for advice? Yes Have you ever been to a town/place where the people were just creepy? I don’t think so What’s the fastest you’ve ever driven in a car? Not fast at all lol If you see a piano, are you tempted to go over and play a little something? Totally...but I never do.  I miss playing the piano Is there someone you know who bakes amazing sweets? Nope. Are you ashamed of your singing voice? Nope Has anyone teased you with the “K-I-S-S-I-N-G” song? Grammar school days Have you ever had a dream where you could understand a foreign language? No What time is it where you are? 5:35pm Do you have anything important to do tomorrow? Finish some work Have you ever owned a beanbag chair? Yes If you own a laptop, do you have a case for it? No What was the last movie you purchased on DVD? Oh wow...I think Jersey Boys. Are you a fan of retro things? Yeah. Do you do your own laundry? No Have you ever used pastels? Yes. Is there a song you’re listening to at the moment? Yes.  Love Shack -B-52s Would you be considered to be knowledgeable about World War 2? Somewhat Have you ever been in possession of a hundred dollar bill? Yes. Is there one food you cannot give up, even though you know it’s unhealthy? Nah Will you bother having a party for your next birthday? I like to get together with friends.  That’s it. If you’re with someone right now, do you think it will last? N/A

Who was the last person you flipped off? Probably a tourists who pushed me LOL Do you currently have a job? Yes What was the last movie that was unable to capture your interest? remake of Lion King.  Went to go see it.  IT WAS HORRIBLE!!! Have you heard of the Irish actor Jonathan Rhys Meyers? Yes Do you have something to do, that you would rather not do? Nope Are you, in any way, feeling hopeless right now? No Is there someone you just need to call and talk to? No Are you one of those people who can eat anything and not gain a pound? Yes Are you nails painted at the moment? No.  I gotta pain them again. Is there a song you’ve been listening to lately on repeat? I always have Taron’s Take Me To The Pilot on Repeat Do you know who you’re planning to ask to your grad prom? I graduated HS in 2001. When was the last time you went shopping? Yesterday Is there anyone who did something absolutely hilarious today? No Are you having one of those days where you feel unattractive? You mean every day for me Do you like hot dogs? Yes Do you ever get bored of your music collection and get new songs? No Have you ever bought a designer purse? Yes.   What’s the limit on how much you would pay for a shirt? like $25 Would you ever like to see the Walk of Fame? Yes!! Is it currently humid where you are? No. Have you been in any sort of physical pain today? No Have you ever heard of the German movie Das Boot? Nope. Who were the last people you hung out with? Beki Has someone ever called you “obnoxious”? No Most commonly, do you obey rules, or break them? obey Do you like making funny faces in pictures? No Is there something you look back on and go “I can’t believe I did that”? YES Are you good at offering advice? Somewhat I guess When was the last time you had to resort to a map? I don’t remember. Your significant other: have you told them you love them lately? N/A

What was the last thing to confuse you? How someone can be so stupid to not see the person they’re with is treating them like shit!!! How many different colors have you dyed your hair? 2  Do you know someone who always spells “bored” like “board”? No. Are you wearing make up right now? No Is there a phrase that you use a lot? I guess Are you old enough to vote? Yes Do you have a favorite pair of earrings? Yes. Have you ever been to Disneyworld/Disneyland? No Have you dated someone more than twice? Yeah Are you a fan of Keira Knightley? Sure. Have you ever resorted to alcohol to make you feel better? Just to calm me down when I have anxiety,  Calms me for a little bit Do you own a full-length mirror? No Do you ever go on PerezHilton.com to get all the celeb gossip? Not really.  But he has written to me on Twitter cause he’s friends with one of my best friends. Have you heard about Mel Gibson’s rant/freakout? Sure Do you wish your bedroom was bigger? Nope Are you aware of the significance of the date April 14th, 1912? Yes Do you ever just lay back and watch the stars? No. Lately have you had much time to relax? Sre Did anything important/changing happen to you in March 2009? I have no idea LOL Have you ever felt like a “new person”? Yes Do you own any expensive jewelry? Nope What size is your TV? Decent sized that’s all I know. Do you occasionally creep on people on Facebook? No Has there been someone in your life that just wouldn’t leave you alone? Yes!!! Do you hate to use public bathrooms? Yes Do you find most remixes of songs to be good or bad? Bad

Write something to someone who means a lot to you: I don’t want to

[healthandfitnessrecipes-blog]

Multigenerational Travel: Tips for Seniors and Their Families

https://healthandfitnessrecipes.com/?p=3221

Although it can come with its challenges, multigenerational travel is well worth the effort. This type of travel gives you the opportunity to create lifelong memories with your family and leave a lasting legacy for your children and grandchildren.

Read our multigenerational travel tips for seniors and their families.

Multigenerational Travel

Every other year for more than 20 years, Susan Adcox of Houston, Texas, has gone on a vacation with her family. They camped in tents and explored both Yellowstone and Yosemite. They rented a house in the Bahamas and rented another on Hawaii’s Big Island. They rafted and ziplined together in Costa Rica. This summer they plan to fly into Seattle, then road trip up to Vancouver Island in Canada.

What sets the Adcox family apart from most summer vacationers is this: the family is 13 members large and made up of three generations.

“We’ve been doing this since our first grandchild was a toddler,” says Adcox, 70.

According to the U.S. Census, by 2020 there will be 80 million grandparents in the U.S., accounting for one in-every-3 adults. These grandparents tend to be more trip-savvy than the generations before them – they have a desire to see the world, sizable disposable incomes, passports and travel bucket lists.

“The baby boomer generation that I’m apart of is the most mobile and the most financially equipped of any other generation,” says Andrea Schwartz, 70, a custom trip planner from upstate New York. Schwartz is a frequent guest on WAMC.org, a Northeast Public Radio station, where she gives advice to would-be travelers on where to go and how best to get there.

Grandparents who travel tend to have extended family members – some scattered across the country –who want to spend time with them. What better way to get the family together under one roof than on a family trip somewhere?

“I have a lot of clients who come to me and say, ‘I always go to my parents’ house on vacation,’” says Heather Klein Cross, a New Jersey-based vacation planner who owns Vacations by Heather. “If you only have 2 or 3 weeks of vacation a year, is that how you want to spend it?”

Travel Tips for Seniors

Planning a multigenerational vacation that will satisfy people with different budgets, needs and personalities can be daunting. Here are a few tips from the experts on how to do it right.

“The key is to find a trip that has activities for everybody,” says Schwartz, who adds that the pressure to do everything together as a family “can be oppressive.” Family members need the freedom to opt out of group activities if need be.

Young children especially need activities to keep them busy, says Cross, who recommends all-inclusive resorts for families with young kids. “Adults go to the beach together happy to chill, but most kids are not going to be happy sitting on a beach reading a book for 3 hours,” she says. At a resort such as Club Med, children as young as 4 months old can spend time in “kids clubs,” while more active adults can scuba, snorkel, paddleboard or play golf.

Family summer camps such as the YMCA or my favorite, The Tyler Place Family Resort in Vermont work in a similar way – they offer a host of activities for people of all ages.

Even Disneyworld can be fun for all generations. Schwartz recommends families book a 4-day hopper pass and stay in a hotel on the property that has around-the-clock free transportation to the Disney area. “Grandma and Grandpa can easily go home to rest. Then they meet everybody at Epcot at dinner and stay for the fireworks,” she says.

Once a destination is selected, experts suggest every family member write down a bucket list of the things they want to do on the trip. From this, an itinerary can be crafted.

1. Choosing a Date

When picking a trip, you’ll want to consider schedules, keeping in mind that while retired people can easily take advantage of off-season discounts, school-aged children can put a financial damper on trips. It tends to be high season during the weeks that kids are off from school. It’s for this reason some families opt to pull their kids out of school for a few days to take advantage of off-season prices and fewer crowds.

As one friend said to me, “A once-in-a-lifetime trip with the grandparents to Italy versus one more week in school? It’s a no-brainer.”

2. DIY or Hire a Planner?

When it comes to trips involving several families, someone has to plan it. For the Adcox family, their vacations – usually road trips that go in a loop so no road is traveled twice – are very much DIY affairs. Two or three family members do most of the planning and share ideas via a cloud program (think Google Docs).

Planning a trip to a place you’ve never been can be overwhelming, not to mention time-consuming. Some people love the planning process, while others would rather hire a professional to do it for them.

“It always seems to fall on one particular individual to plan, which is a lot of responsibility,” says Cross. “They worry, what if people are unhappy? What if I pick a bad place?”

For a nominal fee, a trip planner will talk you through your choices and make sure you can stick to an itinerary without missing any must-sees. They’ll recommend activities and help you hire a private car and tour guide for those trips. They’ll also be on call in case something bad happens like the tropical beach resort loses your booking and doesn’t have a room for you.

When something goes inevitably wrong, as these things tend to do, it can become a story the family tells for years, tales ingrained in even the little ones’ memories. Such a thing happened to Adcox during her road trip through Costa Rica with 11 of her family members. The family booked, as they tend to do, several rental houses on VRBO.

“We went to 4 fabulous places and the last place we stayed, the air conditioners didn’t work,” Adcox says. “It was hot and there were holes in the screens and mosquitos were getting in. A family of bats lived during the daytime outside the main door.”

Miserable, right?

“I tell you all of this just to say that two people in our party said it was their favorite place,” Adcox says with a laugh. “It really was a unique place. It was a beautiful house with a beautiful view.”

3. Let’s Talk Money

One issue families have with big family trips is figuring out how to pay for it. The trips themselves can range from budget to luxurious. A cruise through Alaska for example, can cost $2,000 or $15,000 per person depending on how you do it. There’s nothing less expensive than a vacation in a national park. In fact, Schwartz calls the national park Lifetime Senior Pass “the single biggest bargain on planet earth.”

“You spend $100 for a movie or you can spend a week in Yellowstone for $35,” Schwartz says.

Budgeting is one reason many families opt for all-inclusive cruises, family camps or resorts. Everything’s paid for and people who are used to Best Westerns can put themselves and the kids into a garden view room or those used to the Ritz can book the ocean view suites.

It’s important to discuss how the trip costs will be divvied up, how much can everyone afford and how miscellaneous items like a $150 bottle of champagne or a rafting trip will be paid for. The experts say many grandparents opt to pay for some or all of a trip, while other families split things up evenly.

“We pay for half of it and the kids pay for the rest. I like doing it that way because it keeps them accountable, but at the same time it’s enough of a break to allow them to go with us,” says Adcox.

Cross adds that some grandparents have latched on to the “experiences, not things” gift trend for holidays. Trips, she says, are the perfect experiences to give as gifts.

Related Articles:

Senior-Friendly Airports

Senior-Friendly Travel Destinations

7 Tips for Safe Travel with Seniors

https://www.aplaceformom.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/09080811/multigenerational-travel-tips-for-seniors-1024x538.jpg Credits: Original Content Source

[blvckfeint]

TAGGED BY PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPIDGE @mmmedic​

rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end tag 25 people!

THE LAST: 1. drink: raspberry lemonade 2. phone call: my momther 3. text message: also my momther 4. song you listened to: goodbye - neil cicierega 5. time you cried: yesterday :(

HAVE YOU EVER 6. dated someone twice: nah 7. been cheated on: i swear to fucking god if i was 8. kissed someone and regretted it: nah 9. lost someone special: yeah 10. been depressed: depressed as in Very Sad but not brain depressed 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: oh god no

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: BLACK + DARK GRAY + TEAL

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. made new friends: not close friends, but yes! 16. fallen out of love: nah 17. laughed until you cried: like every fucking night that i cant sleep i get absolutely fucking delirious  18. found out someone was talking about you: YEAH. NOT IN A GOOD WAY EITHER 19. met someone who changed you: not in the last year but yesyesyes! 20. found out who your real friends are: yeah 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: nah

GENERAL: 22. how many of your fb friends do you know in real life: nearly all of em 23. do you have any pets: nah 24. do you want to change your name: i.. dont think so?? KC is extremely close to Kasey but idk if its worth going through all the legal trouble 25. what did you do for your last birthday: i think i went out to ihop w my roommates???  26. what time did you wake up: like 8:30-9am-ish 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: hangin out w ppl on the Auto Train down to orlando! 28. name something you cannot wait for: to go to bed 29. when was the last time you saw your mother: yesterday, and im not gonna see her again for a month :((( 30. what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: that i am able to present more androgynously 31. what are you listening to right now: tv commercials 32.have you ever talked to a person called Tom: yep 33. something that’s getting on your nerves: how every fuckin zodiac post has something about scorpios being obsessed with sex 34. most visited website: twitter/tumblr 35. elementary: not naming bc of privacy  36. high school: same as above 37. college/university: ringling college of art + design 38. hair colour: brown 39. long or short hair: short  40. do you have a crush on someone: nah 41. what do you like about yourself: im funny, and people generally seem to like me 42. piercings: nah 43. blood type: no idea 44. nickname: misha, meesh, kose, kaserito, mama, cheese.. i have quite a few. all thanks to pidge :3c 45. relationship: nah 46. zodiac sign: scorpio 47. pronouns: any, thinking of going by they/them recently.. hmm 48. favourite tv show: flavortown (diners, drive ins, and dives) 49. tattoos: none currently, but ive been thinking about one! 50. right or left hand: righty!

FIRST: 51. surgery: mole removal 52. piercing: n/a 53. [missing question] 54: sport: soccer? 55. vacation: disneyworld i think 56. [missing question] 57. eating: nothing but i just ate some Toast 58. drinking: nothin 59. i’m about to: go to bed probably 60. listening to: tv commercials still 61. waiting for: tomorrow 62. want: to go to bed 63. get married: maybe! 64. career: first job?? working at a small office near my house. currently seeking a job as a graphic designer, and i might get it soon!

WHICH IS BETTER: 65. hugs or kisses: kisses bc im thirsty 66. lips or eyes: eyes 67. shorter or taller: taaaaaaller 68. older or younger: older 70. nice arms or nice stomach: arms, tho it doesnt matter much to me!  71. sensitive or loud: sensitive.. im not a fan of loudness 72. hook up or relationship: relationsheep 73. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. kissed a stranger: nah 75. drank hard liquor: probably. and then was immediately disgusted by it 76. lost glasses/contact lenses: nah 77. turned someone down: yeah 78. sex on first date: nah 79. broken someone’s heart: i dont know.. i dont hope so.. 80. had your heart broken: i guess...? 81. been arrested: nah 82. cried when someone died: YEAH 83. fallen for a friend: not.. really... ive had crushes on friends but thats as far as its gone

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. yourself: sometimes. lotta self doubt tho 85. miracles: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 86. love at first sight: shrugs 87. santa claus: nah 88. kiss on the first date: if both parties are okay with it, sure!  89. angels: nah not really

OTHER: 90. current best friend’s name: PIDGE!!!!!! PIDGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PIDGEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PIDGM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!PPPPPPP 91. eye colour: brown 92. favourite movie: a tie b/t Ex-Machina and Drive

IF YOU ACTUALLY READ THIS THANK YOU 

I TAG ANYONE WHO WANTS TO DO THIS