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eroticshortstories4women · 5 years

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How to Properly "Edge" Him

The real art with "Edging" is to learn exactly how to get him as close as possible to an explosion without actually Allowing him to erupt. If you pay close attention while you fondle and play, you’ll learn precisely the clear warning signs of an imminent ejaculation. There’s nothing quite like habitual and routine "edging" for subliminally building a guys libido and desire. Not only will he cherish you more, thanks to neurochemistry, but within a short timeframe his vulnerable and exploitable mind will be totally under your feminine control…

Here are some tips:

1 - Make him always tell you exactly how close he is. Kind of obvious, but Insist that he tells you when to slow down and when to stop. Especially in the beginning while you’re learning how to read his body language. Keep talking to him, ask him how it feels, what is best. You’ll soon get the feel of it and he’ll love you even more for it…

2 - Feel for his body and muscles tensing, him holding his breath, arching his back or even tensing, all are signs he’s getting very close. Learn to read and understand the signs and don’t worry if you go over, you’re learning. Just be sure it’s a libido-building ruined orgasm…

3 - Move from strong to soft strokes, from his vein filled shaft up to his tip constantly. Change it up, take your time and make sure you get him ultra rock hard for maximum dopamine production in his vulnerable brain… I personally like lots of lube and oil and fast but not too tight of strokes, and then as he gets closer and closer, move to a looser grip and then focus on his hypersensitive head and frenulem (the strip underneath the head at the top where guys are most sensitive). Also take breaks frequently. It’s better to stop one second too early than one second too late, stroke - edge - deny - repeat…

4 - Make it ultimately his fault if he erupts. So again, if he does explode make sure you properly ruin it. Stop all rubbing and stimulation as soon as he starts to climax. Or if he’s tied down, you turn it into a post orgasm torture, after the ruined orgasm, where you use his slippery cum as lube to keep rubbing his hypersensitive Joystick, scolding him by saying: you’re so naughty, I didn’t give you permission to cum…

5 - When you do want to enjoy his pent up explosions, make that part of the tease too. When you’re planning to make him climax and erupt, this is a great time to also practice your edging techniques. Use it as an opportunity to see just how crazy you can make him, where you’re not worrying about accidently taking him over the edge…

6 - Oh and you can add a wonderfully sadistic element with this line: If you can hold on for just five minutes more my love, I won’t ruin it when you do cum, okay baby…

Thanks to FemdomDoneRight (on tumblr) for this effective mindfuck and programming tool.

Extra notes by: HerIntoxicatingBodyOnMyMind

1 - Routine is critical. Edge Him Every Day. For best results: One short session (15 minutes) every other morning; one medium-length session (20-30 minutes) every evening before bed; and at least one long session (40+ minutes) every weekend. If this seems like a lot of time, consider how much time you spend alone doing things you wish he was interested in (like watching your favorite shows on Netflix). This is one activity he will eagerly join. Edging is addictive to male neurochemistry, and it very specifically addicts him to you, as long as you do it regularly. The more you do it, the more deeply he bonds to you, and the more he will crave spending time with you throughout the day. This feeds on itself, and before long, your nightly “quality time” together becomes perfectly natural for both of you. Even if you’re already in love, married, and devoted to each other, your connection can still go deeper - and the fire of wilder days can be rekindled. No more going to bed alone! Also, any time spent having sex or pleasuring you can count toward his edge time. (at your discretion) Daily orgasms for you, his heat beside you as you drift to sleep, and an eager, attentive lover totally addicted to your touch - what’s not to love? No matter how busy or tired you are, you both have the time for this, I promise. Do it for a week, and you will start making time for it.

2 - Edge him more than once. For most, this is obvious. But for some new to edging, it needs to be said. Don’t just edge him once and assume you’re done. Depending on his stamina (and how long it’s been since his last orgasm) it can take a while to build him up to his first edge of the night. It’s important to think of it that way: “first edge of the night.” Because once you’ve guided him to his edge - and stopped - he is still highly aroused, and edging him again becomes easy. All that build-up was time invested to get him to his most blissful state. Now “cash in” your investment and keep him there, by edging him over and over again. It should be easy. A single, slow, tight pump is sometimes enough. Watch his reaction and enjoy the show! (Women report that this is usually their favorite part - guiding their loved one from edge to edge with subtle touches, watching him, and knowing the exquisite gift he trusts only her to give.)

3 - Keep him guessing. Every single time you touch his cock, he should never know if you intend to edge him, ruin him, or give him a full orgasm. Lie to him. Tell him you’re going to stop, then don’t. Or tell him you’re going to ruin him, then give him a full orgasm. Or congratulate him on the orgasm you’re about to give him, then “change your mind” and stop for the night. This only works if you also sometimes tell the truth. Once he learns you are unpredictable, his body will naturally prepare for orgasm, (every time!) giving him the rush he craves - while his mind reels in fear of the alternatives. You are fucking his mind, in addition to his body - in a very good way! Watch how he reacts - from the curl of his toes to the flare in his eyes. It’s incredibly hot.

4 - A “ruined” orgasm is when you let go and cease all stimulation, a split second before he climaxes. His cum will sort of just leak out, and it’s not as satisfying as a full orgasm. “Ruined” is a misnomer, though, because he still gets some small pleasure from it, so don’t be afraid to ruin him regularly. He might thrash, beg, or try to finish it himself, so this is a good time to playfully experiment with restraints - something as simple as tying his wrists together behind his back with a belt or necktie will do the trick. The important difference between a ruined and regular orgasm is that the male libido does not diminish after a ruined orgasm. He will stay horny, eager, erect, and attentive, as though he had no orgasm at all, and you can continue playing, if you wish, after a short break. You can even ruin him twice in one night - the second one is usually harder to achieve, though.

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doorsclosingslowly · 3 years

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End of the year asks: 3, 6, 8?

3. Which of your fics was most different from what you usually write?

Probably Perhaps the World Will End at the Kitchen Table, because usually I need a plan before I write anything and this grew entirely from side details from Jesper's narration

6. What’s your favourite piece of dialogue you wrote this year?

“Just fuck him over, boss. He doesn’t appreciate you, and you don’t need the money. We live in a fucking squat.”

Sweet, financially illiterate nuisance Jesper, who probably doesn’t even know what that awful mistake he’s dressed in right now cost. The thing he’s dressed in. Which was hidden under Kaz’ bed. In Kaz’ room. Which they are inside right now. “You broke into my room,” Kaz rasps. “Again.”

“You know, Kaz,” Jesper replies with poorly feigned innocence, ”this thing is a little big for you. Fits me pretty well, though.”

“I told you I don’t keep cash under my bed. I told you that, the last time you tried to steal from me to pay off your gambling debts. I like my room organized as it is, and so I don’t keep any money here. Not under the bed, not in the wardrobe. And you won’t find any of my actual caches, because I’m smarter than you.”

“You’ve lied to me before.”

“You’ve stolen from me before. Remember last year? Remember you made Inej cry? I though you were clean. I thought you promised Wylan, when you asked him out, that you were done gambling. Maybe we all had too much trust in you.”

Jesper pulls his PVC-clad shoulders up to his en-leathered ears: a ridiculous sight, and Kaz doesn’t know what’s worse. That a bondage sex slave could actually look this dejected and humiliated and alone, or that Jesper does. He’s almost ready to call off the assault. It took a while to figure out, but as usual Inej was probably right, because she’s been researching and discussing the mental health industrial complex in general, and the traumatizing nature of modern life, with her comrades. Even though Kaz is neither the kind of person to touch people with kid gloves, and nor does he like thinking of Jesper as someone who needs that kind of handling—when Jesper’s in a shame spiral this deep then any criticism will drive him even deeper into the arms of the next casino. So the adrenaline and dopamine can wipe out everything else, or to feed his self-loathing even more by being exactly the person he’s terrified people think he is—Jes couldn’t quite explain it himself during the Intervention, except that everything is too much sometimes, even more too much and faster than usual.

He’s a pitiful creature. Kaz almost has pity. Then, though—

“It’s not working, boss. I know why you’re reminding me I fucking relapsed, again, and tried to steal from my best friend, again, and that I’m going to beg you to lie to Wy, again, but I still haven’t forgotten I’m wearing a bondage suit that you’ve been keeping under your bed for—two months now, is it?”

It’s just one month, actually. The manufacture and shipping took six whole weeks.

and basically all other dialogue from This Is the Time of Our Great Undoing too

8. Which fic this year was most fun to write?

I had so much fun with all Six of Crows fic this year but probably..... Condemn It to Its Future because fuck, it was a blast to return to my sentient zombie homeland (with teen Kaz this time), I love mixing body horror and affection

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beerecordings · 5 years

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Bee, do you have bastard cats au fluff? Please? Do the kitties know that chase loves them very much? You don’t have to answer but I’d appreciate it

yes of course my friend!! ninja if you want something in specific i will even write u a lil fic or something you just let me know!! also i am always up for talking about my kitty boys but i never do without prompting haha. okay let’s see what we got

Chase used to think cats were a little like girly - like he didn’t look down on women with cats or anything like that but he just always thought his friends would kind of make fun of him if he was like a cat guy so he was always like “uhh yeah i like dogs” even though really he likes soft squishy warm cats

but then he meets Jack and Anti and OHHH MY GOSH HE LOVES CATS SO MUCH??? he ends up staying with the two of them for a while after the divorce and he’s all sad and crying a lot and he won’t always let Jack comfort him so Jack like scoops up Anti and he’s like “buddy I got a special mission for you” and slips Anti into Chase’s room and like… Anti is not a comforting cat lmao but just having him there running around is stimulating for Chase… and then sometimes Anti gives up the ghost and comes and sits purring on Chase’s chest while he cries and Chase rubs his warm soft ears and loves him so much and Anti’s like “okay this guy’s okay, whatever” and lets him

after that Chase NEEDS his kitty fix so he starts volunteering at an animal shelter and just PETTING CATS FOR HOURS YEHHHHH but then holy cow. holy cow. holy cow Jackie

he is the most perfect beautiful cat Chase has ever seen and yes Jackie has some neurological problems and tends to run into walls and get over-excited and stuff and nobody really wants him but Chase - oh, Chase sees him all sad and lonely in his cage and as soon as he opens it up Jackie is the friendliest cat ever to live, charging at Chase and shoving himself into his chest, begging to be petted, cause no matter how many times humans screw him over, Jackie doesn’t care, he’s such a loving cat and Chase doesn’t know why he’s crying but he loves Jackie, he loves him, he can’t leave him here, this is HIS cat and he scoops him up and kisses him and brings him home

Jackie is SOOO HAPPY YESSSS HUMAN ADOPTED HIMMMMMM THIS IS THE DREAMMM

He wakes Chase up with kisses every morning and Chase gives him a big hug and Jackie purrs and purrs. He grows out of awkward little teen cat into BIG BIG BIG RED BOY WITH FUR EVERYWHEREEE just unbelievable fuzz

and yes, yes, yes, he knows Chase loves him, never doubts it for a second, cause Jackie is the warmest cat in the world and Chase is the one who refills his bowl and lets him have bits of his dinner and holds him in his lap and pets him and loves him all the time and Jackie knows, Jackie knows. so he is always trying to love on Chase right back, kissing and arching his spine up beneath his hands and sitting with him when he’s sick or sad, putting his lil paw on Chase’s face and looking him dead in the eye, like sometimes he’s just trying to say it out loud, “I love you dude!!!!!” and Chase just squishes him to his belly and tells him he loves him too against his fur

Jackie is BIG PROTECTIVE of Chase and he WILL fight dogs to keep him safe (but Chase never gives him the chance lol)

Marvin is a surprise kitty cause one of Chase’s aunts leaves him to Chase in her will and Chase is like “you can LEAVE cats to people?” and the answer is yes if that cat is a snow-white show cat worth like three thousand dollars

Chase can’t sell him though because Marvin is the proudest, sassiest, most lovely little cat and Chase adores him from the second he gets his hands on him. Marvin loves walking all over Chase’s chest and pretending he’s not looking at him and ignoring Jackie’s antics because he is too dignified for that - okay maybe he will chase the laser pointer for just one second -

when Marvin gives Chase affection, it’s like being blessed by a picky god, and Chase just closes his eyes and lies back while Marvin steps over all prissy and perfect and bestows gentle headbumps and kneads his claws into his chest

Chase: THE PAIN IS WORTH ITTTTT ily Marvvvv

and Marvin is stepping around all proud like “duh of course you do I’m perfect” (but really he is very nice kitty and very polite and folds his paws and does not beg and always brings Chase dead leaves as presents because he is such a gentleman and so clever, as Chase tells him endlessly

Jackie and Marv always sleep halfway on top of each other and fully on top of Chase. Jackie snores. Chase is so exasperated and he whispers “dumb-ass” and strokes his head and when he wakes up every morning he gets either paws in his face or two happy kitties mirroring each other on his chest, purring with their eyes closed, and he is Happy

Chase, hugging his kitties: thank you for the dopamine tiny babies

After Chase adopts Henrik he does in fact start to get teased a little by his friends but then he’s like wait a second…. i don’t need less cats… i need BETTER FRIENDS SCREW U ZACH DR. HENRIK VON SCHNEEPLESTEIN HAS DONE MORE FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH THAN YOU EVER HAVE AND YES THAT IS HIS LEGAL NAME HE HAS THREE PHDS

Schneep is. VERY MEAN at first actually. When he came into the shelter all torn up (they think a dog got him) he was so gross and sick and flea-covered that no one else really gave him much attention, and he would just lie at the back of his cage wheezing and trying to growl. Chase would pet him, though, and Henrik would just melt and slump down in his arms, too tired to purr, just staring up at Chase like he was begging for help. Everybody told Chase Henrik would die, but he didn’t. Chase had to bring him home

Henrik was very untrusting and angry and hurting and getting in fights with Jackie and Marvin for a few weeks, but Chase just tried to give him space and love and reward him for even the smallest attempts at being sociable, and finally there was this day where Henrik just… broke for Chase. came to him crying and trying to purr and begging for attention and Chase just started crying too and picked him up and loved on him for hours.

now Henrik is a HEALTHY HAPPY SNARKY KITTY always going >:3 and Chase is just his favorite person ever and he hates just about everybody but Chase. he is Chase’s loyal little boy and whenever Chase is feeling bad Henrik seems to be able to tell, cause he’ll follow Chase around like meowing at him, and Chase like gives him a voice and pretends his little doctor is reminding him to take his medicine and everything

also no offense to Jackie and Marv but. Henrik is like. way smarter than them adkfnkdgd he won’t do tricks but he has learned things like he’s not allowed to sit in Chase’s lap when the red light is on the camera, but he can when it isn’t, which Chase just thinks is?? ridiculously smart for a cat?? he’s not sure though

when Jack goes into his coma, it’s one of the hardest times in Chase’s life, and he’s such a mess and can’t focus on anything. but Anti needs him, and so do the other cats. even on his worst days, he finds himself dragging himself out of bed to refill everybody’s food and scoop Anti up before he can start yowling for Jack and crying again. sometimes he can even get up the strength to play with him for a little while, trying to take his mind off his missing owner.

he probably wouldn’t have survived it without his cats, in retrospect. Jackie keeps batting things in front of his face and going :DDD trying to cheer him up, and Marvin’s flaunting his big bushy tail all around the house, brushing on Chase’s legs and face and meowing politely, thanking Chase every time he feeds him. Henrik keeps leading Chase into the kitchen and Chase is too tired to argue with him so he’s like “you want a snack, sweetie? You can have anything you want” and gets the fridge open, but Henrik is just staring pointedly at the leftovers on the top shelf and Chase is like… “i think this cat wants me to eat” so for Henrik’s sake he tries

Anti misses Jack…. but Chase is the one who looks after him now. so he’s gone from his owner, and he’ll always miss him, but… he’s okay, you know? he’s not hurt or hungry or lonely. he’s okay, just like Jack would want him to be. he knows Chase loves him because even when he is a huge troublemaker and throwing a tantrum and trying to be a bastard just because he’s sad and angry, Chase is still gentle with him, Chase forgives him and lets him pretend to hate him only to slink onto the end of his bed late at night….. yeah, Chase loves Anti and Anti knows it. Anti loves him too, though that’s hard to see for just about anybody but Chase himself

and things are okay, they’re holding on, they’re surviving. Chase is trying to keep his head up, but there’s a long time where it feels like Jack and the cats are all he can think about, and even they kind of make him sad, because they remind him of Jack and make him think he’s been a horrible owner, never able to spend enough time on them when he’s on his down days. he needs something to pour his energy and love into, something to distract him from everything, something new

and there he is - the perfect baby boy

Jamie is a tiny, tiny, tiny kitty who’s been living on the streets for all of his short life and Chase falls in love with him. he finds him in the gutter a couple blocks down the street - no one else has noticed because Jamie can barely meow, this tiny little whisper-cry - but Chase sees him. he spends three hours trying to get Jamie out of there. afterwards he has this filthy, mostly-blind, malnourished, stinking baby cat who needs him desperately, and there’s no going back after that. there’s no giving Jamie away.

and Jamie love him very much. he seems to know that Chase saved him. he is very tired and weak his first few months and he never gets to be very big - in fact, he will always be a tiny little cat - but Chase thinks he’s the most perfect, beautiful little thing he’s ever seen, and he spends hours nursing him and flattering him and telling him he loves him. Jamie gives him his tiny half-mew and chews on his fingers. he can’t much purr, but Chase recognizes the little coughs and chest-sighs he gives off as his best attempts at it

the other cats are like “BABY????”

Jackie tries to teach him cat kung-fu, jumping around the walls at three am in the morning. Marvin tries to teach him MANNERS in the midst of all these hooligans (Jamie is very polite too in the end but also just as chaotic as his biggest brother). Henrik is!!! very!! hecking!!! concerned for this sick little infant!!! he is licking Jamie all matter-of-factly and rumbling at him like he’s telling him to get better (once Chase catches Henrik carrying Jameson by his baby scruff to sit on HIS bed instead of the couch, but that is a secret because HENRIK VON SCHNEEPLESTEIN DOES NOT SHOW ZE OTHER KITTIES AFFECTION)

Jameson imprints on Chase and follows him around the house like a duckling on tiny kitten paws. it is hard for him because he can’t see well, so Chase starts singing around the house a lot. eventually the cats all learn that this means he is probably not busy and might give them some pets or snacks if they come, so he starts humming and cats converge on him like he’s catnip, with tiny Jamie tottering along behind them or hanging out of Jackie’s mouth like he’s bringing Chase a present

Chase narrates Henrik as German, Jamie as British, Marvin and Jackie as Irish twins, and Anti as SCREECH

he just. he just loves them so much. he knows it’s maybe a little silly to have five cats but he just… loves them. they’re so important. they’re so real to him. they’re not just pets, these are his little buds. he takes care of them and they take care of him.

he comforts them at the vet. they steal his whiskey when he’s not looking. he puts a little bow around Marvin’s neck. Marvin spends two hours purring on his chest when he’s crying the next day. he plays games with them. they hide his socks and make him look for them. and damn, he’s got so many good memories with these little dorks…. Jackie getting stuck in the kitchen drawer, Marvin getting scared by the thunderstorm and needing a hug, splashing Henrik in the face when he got all curious about the kitchen sink, the first time Anti snuggled up with him, Jamie licking gently at his hands while he sat up all night with him just to keep him alive….

They’re his buddies. He loves them. They know. They knew all along. Cats are clever. They know. They won’t forget. They love him too

#soft!anti #long post #bastard cats au

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agape-philo-sophia · 5 years

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➝ False Enslaved Zombie Sheeople! ➝ The Modern Augmented Prison Cell - This is Why They Call a Mobile Phone a Cell

Smartphones and other modern day smart devices have now become the new drugs for this generation. Billions of people worldwide have become techno-junkies/prisoners that are over-whelmed, rewired and addicted to the constant stimuli (a predictable dopamine driven, social validation feedback loop) of this social-matrix. We are outsourcing our brains to these smart devices, that in turn are doing the thinking for us (weak AI). How long can we last doing a simple task without obsessively checking our smartphones or computers (internet, social media feed, web browsers, etc) before feeling lost, anxious, fidgety, sad or bored? We all have the freedom of choice to either live as mental slaves that are trained to be unconscious, distracted and reactive to artificially induced realities that remove us out of the Present Moment or reclaim our true sovereignty and power as conscious observers/creators. Most of us parade our private lives on social media for the battle of attention, respect and external validation - our photos, personal stories, memes, song choices, status, relationships, accomplishments, sexuality and all the rest. Yet, our authentic self gets covered over (replaced by a false, socially engineered self-image) as if we are too afraid to bear the thought of what others might think or say about us. Each and everyone of us is a unique, focal point of Source Awareness and we all wield its creative potential because WE ARE IT. The only thing that limits and compromises our divine essence is giving away our unlimited, creative power to self-limiting, programmed thoughts, beliefs and behaviours. -------------------------------------------------- Slavery in our 21st century. You might think that slavery is a phenomenon linked to the old ages when war and lack of human rights were the norm. You might also picture slaves in your mind as groups of people tied in iron chains walking slowly with their heads down in humiliation. Slavery never ended with the arrival of our modern times. This is a misconception. It only took on newer forms. In the present time, slavery comes in disguise. With huge technological advancements taking place rapidly, human freedom is being taken away without us noticing. With the unveiling of the new iPhone event becoming watched by millions worldwide who sit on the edge of their seats counting down the days till they lay their hands on the new product, this widespread obsession with new gadgets is alarming. People tend to buy these new products without actually needing them. It has become a habitual practice, or in other words, an addiction. Rivalry between Apple and Google has made its way into everyday common discussions about which company offers better products and has fired hot debates everywhere. But, stop for a moment and think, who is the real winner from all of this? I cannot help but regard this generation as obeying slaves to technology, the incredibly powerful master. The sad thing about 21st century slavery is that the slave doesn’t realize it. He doesn’t fight against it. It is self-induced and this makes it even more complicated. People are now driven by technology in every aspect of their lives. A person is now dependent on smartphones to wake up, communicate and feel happy. Wouldn’t you choose the Wi-Fi free area over the one that is not? Wouldn’t you choose to sit on the seat beside the power plug over the one that is not? Wouldn’t you choose to give up all your savings for that smartphone with a zillion megapixels camera? You would, wouldn’t you? But why? Does this make you any happier? Stop and wonder how the older generations acquired their happiness. For countless decades, humans lived with zero technology and nobody found it hard. People did not harvest their happiness from touch screens and digital pixels; they harvested it from happy experiences and memories. Technology masterminds are investing millions of dollars for the most effective marketing campaigns. Their only aim is to convince you that without technology, there would be no life. Without a smartphone in your hand, you cannot function. Without connecting to servers, you cannot communicate. This idea of complete dependence on technology is gaining ground day after day. You don’t feel ok if you go out without your phone, or if you walk for a distance instead of driving your car. I believe that with this unfortunate response from people, technological companies will definitely reach their aim. In fact, they have now raised their marketing campaigns to make us believe that humans and technology are one entity. With Google glasses and iWatches being introduced and heavily advertised, these companies aim at erasing the line between us and technology, making technology an indispensable part of us that we cannot discard. People have already acquired some traits previously attributed to machines in this fast-paced era of ours. Most of us now fail to contemplate and wonder about the world as it is frowned upon and labeled as time wasting. We don’t realize that most of our human discoveries and notable literary works were direct results of contemplation and meditation. Nothing extraordinary will result from someone working as a human machine. If anything is wireless in all this new technology, it would be our own chains to it. Try to disconnect from its tempting portals for a while. Happiness is not about the gadgets you own. Some would give anything for an expensive car or the latest collection of iPhones, tablets and laptops, but as for me, I’d rather ride my bike at the break of day and watch the sunrise as the chirping orchestra of birds begins performing their pieces. No notification beeps, no buzzing vibrations. Just the Earth and I without microchips present. No wireless chains. ➝ Freedom and happiness lie in the natural world. Break your chains! “The difference between technology and slavery is that slaves are fully aware that they are not free” - Nassim Nicholas Taleb “We refuse to turn off our computers, turn off our phone, log off Facebook, and just sit in silence, because in those moments we might actually have to face up to who we really are.” - Jefferson Bethke "Man is a slave. He is not born as a slave, he is born free. He is born as freedom, but he is found in chains everywhere. He lives in chains, he dies in chains. This is the greatest calamity that has happened to humanity." – Osho ------------------------------------------------- Day-by-day we are becoming not only emotionally but also intellectually disabled due to these deleterious effects of social media. These days most of the people get their news and knowledge about current issues from the Facebook, they absorb the information and propagate it without even checking the authenticity of such news. Studies have shown that fake news is more disseminated than the real story. The power of viral distribution provided by the social media has frequently been used for nefarious activities like creating mass panic, inciting communal violence by false propaganda, etc. Just "Look Up" from your screen, logout from your Facebook, and login to the real world. Technology is just to assist us in making our lives simpler. Don't make, technology your life. Unplug yourself and have a technological detox. -------------------------------------------------- Most people won’t believe they are enslaved, though some believe they are enslaved by the ruling elite. But when we look deeper into this predicament, we may be able to see that we are in fact enslaved or trapped by our own minds. https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1081908385228386304?referrer=MindCom -------------------------------------------------- #Truth #Zombie #Sheeople #DumbedDown #Enslavement

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legobiwan · 5 years

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I was the one who asked that last question about the light vs dark and i loved the answer you gave. I hope you don’t mind me asking another. What do you think makes the darkside so difficult to turn back from? Speaking from my own personal experience with mental illness (depression, anxiety, diagnosed anger issues. All of this from birth) in know that all those things can send a person to a very dark place. 1/

Not literally like with the force, but it can do that to anyone and it’s like doing a muscle man marathon to get out of it. It takes incredible strenth to dig yourself out of it and sometimes it’s easy to NOT want to get out of that suffering, painful state because you get so used to it. 2/

I subscribe to the idea that force sensitives constantly have enotions being filtered back at them, even their own which is why they all have to be in control of their their emotions, because if they let emotions like rage and hate and fear and pain and grief and all those things you frequently feel when dealing with those kinds of things, it gets reverted back at you and you are stuck in a cycle of all these negative things the dark side feeds on. 3/

Imagine dealing with all of that as a normal person and then having this echo chamber of it directed back at you and some, i’m guessing, semi-sentient dark side that feeds on that and tries to bring you down deeper. I think another part of it is 1.) Sunk Cost Fallacy and 2.) as you said about Anakin fir example: “well, i ate two cookies, might as well eat the whole bag”. 4/5

I’m sorry this turned out WAYY linger than i originally intended. I’d like to hear your thoughts (i always do) about maybe why the dark side is so hard to pull away from. 5/5

Oh hello again, friend! You ask such intriguing questions, thank you for stopping by!

First off, mental illness sucks and I am sorry that it is something you have had to contend with. I won’t profess to know exactly what you have gone through, but when I was a younger Lego, things got pretty dark for a while, so I do know of that bottomless pit to which you refer and the absolute wrenching struggle it is to dig one’s self out, tooth and nail.

Now, there are a few ideas at play in this question so I want to start with the idea you float about how Jedi feel emotions in the Force as a kind of feedback loop, make one or two detours before getting around to why it is so difficult to come back from the dark side.

“The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It’s an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together.”

Yoda basically lays out the Force for us in ESB, describing as an invisible energy field that for me, resembles the way we describe the energy between (and in-between) molecules. And subscribe to the theory that all sentient are at least a little Force-sensitive, if they are able to lower their own barriers enough to listen for that heartbeat, that rhythm and song of the universe (music of the spheres, in a way.) But for the Jedi, well, they are on a whole other level, and to my mind, that barrier I just referred to is a whole lot more permeable, no longer a dense, velvet curtain, but a gauzy, diaphanous veil separating two planes of existence - the one we know and some unseen dimension of energies made, if not visible in the strictest terms, visible to the mind’s eye by metaphor.

In this little scenario I have set up, then, let’s say our Jedi is happy. Simple happiness. If our reality is a glass of water, this one emotion is a drop of food coloring, let’s say green, which, when dripped into the water is coalesced around the focal point of the droplet (the droplet being the emotion within the Jedi) and then branching outwards with its tendrils, beyond the Jedi themselves. In this way, the Jedi can almost see their own emotion outside of themselves. But, of course, at some point, the food coloring will overtake the water and turn the entire glass green, in which case the Jedi has been subsumed by their own emotion unless they can erect some particular carriers around themselves. This, in Yoda’s words, would be control. (A vaguely problematic term that I will get to in a little bit.)

But without that barrier, it does become a bit of a feedback loop, the Jedi (or Sith) broadcasting an emotion which then clouds (aha!) everything around the Force-sensitive who can then feed off that cloud and repeat the entire cycle ad nauseum. And well, we know where that can lead. And so, in a way, that semi-sentient voice that is whispering poems of power, words draped in seductive scarlet into our Jedi’s ear is really their own voice, turned back on them, taking this outside form as a separate being because of this strange feedback loop.

The seeds of our own destruction - and salvation - lie wholly within us.

And so to escape the dark side’s pull, its suffocating cloud, one must, in a way, come out of themselves. Which is what leads us to the Jedi idea of detachment and control, to build that barrier which I referred to earlier, that space of nothingness where our green dye is repelled by that shadow of oxidation, where it can exist on the outside without feeding back, so one might be able to look at it as a scientist might - without passion.

Now, the thing is - and if I may go on a tangent for a moment - the Jedi, especially the Jedi we know during the Republic, refer to this too often for my taste as control, and prefer to totally bleach out any of the dye rather than observe from the outside. To my mind, the Order had become a bit polarized in the wake of Ruusaan Reformation, eager to stamp out any bit of dark side rather than to acknowledge each being’s duality - something Yoda himself rally only came to when he had his adventures with the Force priestesses. It also explains, to a degree, why he is so laissez-faire in The Last Jedi - finally, he has come to true balance, and knows that the universe swings on a pendulum of energy, that light and dark will settle and unsettle again. I know TLJ gets a bad rap in some circles, but I personally adore the way they approached Force philosophy and the Jedi, because balance, to the Republic Jedi - was good, good only. Which is why it was referred to as control.

But seeking control in a universe where we can never control, ultimately, is an of fear, which leads to anger, and etc.

However, your question is not about the foibles of the Jedi Order, but rather the dark side. Let’s take Anakin as an example. Anakin falls prey to his worst tendencies (and he is powerful in the Force, his connection with that other plane perhaps too strong, his ability to influence it unprecedented but also that open conduit making him more susceptible to everything I mentioned above.) He’s angry, he’s upset, and he turns that first on himself and then takes that fear and turns it on others, burning down the outer world with his inner. But he saves Luke. A fantastic act, but only a single act. Does one life saved balance out the atrocities of the previous twenty years?

To my mind, no. It’s like those studies they’ve done on reform, where it is often found that behavior changes before mindset. Meaning Anakin has to go through the motions before he is truly redeemed. That, to my mind, is one of the hardest parts, because you can’t just flip a switch and say, hey, I’m light now! Look at Ventress - it took her a while just to get to morally grey and she wasn’t nearly as full-fledged dark as Anakin got. Look at Dooku, who started out grey and through his actions, through his own need for control, fell further and further until he walked right into his own demise. (And this is astounding for a man so intelligent.)

Note, I’m not even touching on that unearthly drug, adrenaline, that anger can unleash, sparking up all those dopamine receptors and as a Force-sensitive, this is only going to be multiplied by a thousand. It’s probably like doing hard drugs and there’s a reason they say the dark side is addictive. And we all know addiction is one hell of a beast to fight, that even in the throes of anger, the hangover must be brutal, emotionally and to give that up to turn light?

Not easy. Not easy to do alone and the problem is as a Sith you have basically pushed everyone else away so who going to be your support if you even want to recover? (Note how Dooku was always trying to connect with his students. It says something.) And you know, if Anakin hadn’t died on the Death Star, despite everything, I think he would have had the best chance at redemption because Luke would have been there. It would have been a terrible, exhausting experience for all involved (not to mention Leia, who did not have Luke’s soft spot for her biological father, and for very good reason.)

Although after going on about all of this, I will say that from an author’s perspective, exploring a character’s fall and struggle is such an opportunity, narratively. But then again, I love to joke that writing is cheaper than therapy :D

#Anonymous #hello there #ask legobiwan #i could go on about force shenanigans #but i'll call it here because i have some real life lego things to do before it's extended naptime #the force #meta #jedi #sith #legobiwan and their weirdass metaphors

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thelistbancroft · 3 years

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Digital Minimalism

What does it mean to be addicted to social media? What does it mean to disconnect from it all? That’s what I’m figuring out by reading Cal Newport’s Digital Minimalism. Personally, I would love to live a life where my phone doesn’t control me, where Twitter doesn’t ruin my day, being bombarded by comments like “ratio or youngboy is better,” where I won’t have to depend on my likes from Instagram for confidence in my social life. Digital Minimalism provides the best information and data to apply to your own life: such as drawing on real-life experiences, conducting simple experiments for digital minimalism, and simply providing the psychological facts that come with separating yourself from unnecessary technology. As a teenager who uses social media a lot, I turned to Digital Minimalism in search of answers, and instead I found something better: facts. I could go on and on about how staring at a screen could fry your brain and ruin your life, but only you can make the change in your life with technology. Newport makes the journey himself to understand the benefits of digital minimalism, and then uses his findings to inspire the reader to make change.

The teenagers of this generation use social media more than they need too, digital minimalism is for you if any of the following pictures describe you:

Yes, I know these may describe you (don’t lie), and that is totally okay. It’s not your fault that you can’t stop looking at your TikTok and Instagram feed, blame the social media companies themselves. Digital Minimalism talks about how major social media corporations make their apps user-friendly and super easy to use just for you to get hooked. For example, the simple ability to scroll on an app. Is simply swiping your finger up satisfying to view your “For You” page? Features of social media manage to harness your brian’s dopamine, which is the part of our brain which determines what is worth doing again. So if you were to post something that gets a lot of approval, our brain continues to want that approval because it brings us a sensation of confidence. The question of whether we can be ‘addicted’ to our phones in the same way that we can be addicted to substances such as alcohol and drugs is controversial. But there’s no denying that the dopamine system is involved in both. Every time we check our social media feeds and find something novel or exciting waiting for us (in other words, every time we check social media), our brains release dopamine, which tells our brains that checking social media is worth doing again. And when you add in notifications and alerts, it isn’t long before our brains begin to release dopamine just in anticipation of checking our phones.

Our phones and apps also take advantage of our inherent social impulses and anxieties, including our fear of missing out (FOMO) and the impression that we need to reciprocate when we feel someone has done something for us. Take, for example, those ticks on Facebook, WhatsApp and other platforms that indicate when your friend has read your message. Your friend knows you’ve seen those ticks, so there’s now a social pressure for them to respond. You might even get emails telling you that you have unread messages and notifications, piling on the pressure to log in, lest you miss out on some news or leave someone hanging. And then there are those little dots that indicate when someone is in the process of replying to your message. What’s the likelihood you’re going to put down your phone before you’ve seen their response? Mind you, all this information can be attained by reading Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport.

Now you can’t just drop your phone and social media like the bad habit it is. But what you can do to start off digital minimalism is simply reflect on what social media gives you, and if there are any other ways to get those things. For instance, if you use Twitter for news, try to cut back on that and find another source of news. Reflect then on how to put your internal findings to action. Remember, anyone can claim they’re not addicted to social media, but what can you do to prove it? Reading Digital Minimalism is a great way to start your journey on being free from technology!

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weopenviews · 5 years

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It's tough to be an investigative reporter. Everybody who feeds you a tip has an axe to grind. Or, alternatively, you find yourself going, "I wonder if . . . ?" You put in your research, you talk to lots of people, you accumulate a huge pile of information, but you still haven't proved your hypothesis. A wise reporter says to herself either "I don't have the story yet" or "I guess this didn't pan out." In either event, she doesn't publish. More likely, since reporters always think they have the story and always want to publish, an editor says, "Kid, you haven't got the story."One of the many rules of the road that have changed in the Trump era is that reporters have taken to blasting out their BREAKING NEWS about scandals that they haven't actually proven to be scandals. There is so much hay to be made during this administration, so many reporters are becoming superstars, so many comfy houses in Bethesda are being bought with so many large book deals. Any fresh angle you can find on the iniquity of the administration is going to be lapped up eagerly by everyone you know. But what if your new angle isn’t . . . actually. . . the truth?Danger lurks. It's damned annoying how many watchmen there are to watch the watchmen these days. But in the end the temptation wins. The shaky story gets blasted out to everyone, it falls apart, and the soiled and tattered reputation of the news media acquires another stain. Short term, no biggie: Reporters know they won't get fired for being wrong. They get a little dopamine hit of glory from the ersatz scoop, they go on with their lives. They live to fight Trumpism another day. Did Jason Leopold and Anthony Cormier of BuzzFeed suffer for falsely reporting that President Trump directed Michael Cohen to lie to Congress? Nope. Their position is merely that maybe the story will turn out to be true someday. They haven't even retracted the story, much less tendered their resignations, much less placed themselves in the stocks of the town square so that passersby can fire tomatoes at them. (BuzzFeed appended a weaselly note to the original story feebly expressing hope that more information would emerge that would back up their story. That ain't how it works. You get it right first, then publish.)Politico reporters Natasha Bertrand and Bryan Bender suspect President Trump has been directing Air Force flights to an obscure Scottish airport and fuel stop in order to generate business for his nearby hotel. Since the Obama-era Air Force also used the fuel point (which Trump has no interest in) scores of times, and since those troops also understandably stayed at the hotel because it’s affordable and close to the airport, there is only a scandal here if Trump, or someone operating at Trump's direction, is ordering the Air Force to do things differently than it ordinarily would in order to benefit Trump. The numbers at issue here are paltry. The hotel is charging $130 a night. How much of that winds up in Trump's pocket, 11 cents? Bender and Bertrand inform us in dire tones that Air Force crews have made “at least four stays” at the Trump resort in the last year. How much do four stays at a cheap hotel really mean to a billionaire?When Politico or any other outlet whips up a fake scandal, the predictable next stage is that even more specious and disgusting things get said by pundits joining the pile-on. Rachel Maddow, in her gonzo throw-everything-at-the-wall way, falsely claimed the other night that the fuel stop was charging more for fuel, as though that were a scandal. It turns out the fuel stop is charging ordinary rates, and Trump doesn't own it anyway. John Hirschauer calls B.S. on her. Maddow slandered the military in an absolutely vile manner when she declared the “U.S. military is in on it now,” meaning corruption. Bertrand called Maddow’s take on the matter “perfect.”Here's how this story ought to be reported. If Trump ordered the Air Force to prop up his failing resort, there must be a long chain of intermediaries who took this directive from the president and passed it down the line. Find one of those flunkies and get him to spill the beans. Did Bender and Bertrand do so? No. Do they even exist? Until Bertrand and Bender find them and get them to talk, the story isn’t there. Yet Bertrand blathers on this morning with this tweet: "BREAKING: Preliminary results of the Air Force’s review of its use of Trump Turnberry shows that the service has lodged crews at the resort up to 40 times since 2015, a figure far higher than previously known." Oh, since 2015, eh? Who was president then? The only numbers that might matter are the ones since January 20, 2017, and she doesn't even have those yet. You might as well run a headline saying, "Hate crimes surged in Trump Era, or Obama Era, Maybe Both, Whatever, We're Not Sure."Bertrand and Bryan’s own story undercuts the scandal suggested by her tweet: "The figure does not indicate how many of the stays have occurred since Trump became president. But the Air Force has significantly ramped up its overnight stops in Scotland under Trump after signing a contract with the Prestwick Airport — situated 20-plus miles from Turnberry — in the waning months of the Obama administration." The Obama-era Air Force made deals with the airport near Turnberry and this somehow earns Trump a flag for violating the emoluments clause? True, there are more Air Force flights refueling at the little airport these days, but there are perfectly plausible reasons for that: Unlike Shannon Airport in Ireland, it's got relatively good weather and is a low-traffic spot. Easy in, easy out. This argument apparently made sense to Team Obama, since they're the ones who signed the deal to use the airport more. But this does not obviously have anything to do with Trump. Hey, take it from the man himself! "NOTHING TO DO WITH ME," the president tweeted on Monday. So far, this looks like the truth. Miracles can happen!The most hilarious and self-defeating detail in this morning's BREAKING news from Politico is this: "Since 2015, the [Air Force] has lodged crews in the area 659 times, meaning up to 6 percent of those stays were at Turnberry." Wow, 6 whole percent? I can only imagine what the president's directive on this matter might have been. "Get Mark Esper in here now, dammit! Esper, my Scottish resort is in trouble. Take a break from saving the world and save Trump Turnberry! I want you to make sure up to 6 percent of your Air Force guys making those fuel stops in Scotland are staying at my hotel. Make it happen or you’ll be playing shuffleboard with Mattis!”

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teeky185 · 5 years

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#latest news #Yahoo News - Latest News & Headlines

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morningusa · 5 years

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beautytipsfor · 5 years

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Politico Doubles Down on Fake Turnberry Scandal

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saadullah-faisal-world · 5 years

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orendrasingh · 5 years

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jodhiifromthe503 · 5 years

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All my life I been the rag doll

Hoping I could take y’all

Outback and jigsaw

The whole pack

And get tall

As the Eiffel Tower

Have bitches on my dick like I’m Austin Powers

Devour the flower

Hop in the Uber and reroute her

I’m the sickest lyricist

My fits imprints the devils wits

And tints my Van Gogh hints

But I snap back

And slap that

Knife of my limp wrist ya!

Bitch!

I am really killing this

Ain’t no one as real as this

I’m taking all the smoke

Inhale

And take another hit

Breathing fire

Getting higher than Molly Fontaine

More black magic that Black Sabbath

And David Blaine

think I’m insecure

Insane

Like I’m Bruce Wayne

Living double lives

Snorting Cocaine

With John Wayne

In the ghost train

Ya me and Cal Calloway

Going to St. James Infirmary

There ain’t no mother fucking cure for me, ya

Bardo Daze

Playing out the ways

In which Houdini slip from the chains

Til he run out of days

Ya, my anatomy’s grey

I want retribution for every casualty

Of frontal lobotomy

Orchiectomy

There ain’t no next of kin for me

I’m floating further out to sea

The fountain from which it springs

And I dive deep

But found no peace

No skeleton keys

Just a black screen

And a dream of Annabelle Lee ya

Take this take this just how you please

I got all the shit talk that a girl needs

Ya, I’m gonna be the next one that a girl reads

Ya, I bring the dopamine to the dope fiends

Weave the dreams

You scroll the screen of my screams ya

Same day, I’m gonna sign a record deal

I don’t care how it’s gonna make you feel

With your imaginary friends

You play pretend

and try to scare me

I’ve seen shit that will make your hair turn white

They double dog dare

Know I’m about that life

My bark as bad as my bite

I chew out of spite

Bad batch

You go back to her

Bitch

I go back to black

(Back to black) echo*

I keep pulling that rabbit from hat

Eat the head off a bat

I’m a trap in the trap and there’s no coming back

So I guess that I’m trapped

But if you sell Heroin or if you sell Crack

I throw you out the window and then you go splat

Y’all didn’t think I could spit

Y’all didn’t think I could rap

Y’all didn’t think that I’d make a come back

Y’all didn’t think I would come to your house with a bat

(Black on black) echo*

I gave to fucks

In December

Then I fucked him up

Left him something to remember

They like Jodhii

Shut the fuck up

I don’t really want no friends

Those just means to an end

But

Where in the world is Carmen

Doin hood rat shit with her best friend

Slut

Suicide pact til the night ends

I hope Nietzsche don’t mind

I don’t rewind

I’m trembling and that’s fine

Look out the blinds

Shit is fucked

But we’re probably fine

America’s gone back in time

Go us locked in echo chambers

Locked in our mind

With our own “kind”

Fine, ya

Empty the clip

Another round for my sis

Ya, the revolution was a lie

But time does not exist

Climate changes

But history don’t

It jus rearranges

Red handed

Stuck to the pages

Misery love companies

Corporate philosophies

Casualties, anomalies

Leave nothing to mystery

FUCKABEES

Fuckabees, fuckabees, fuck with me ya

Little bitty witty biddy pretty jodhii cozy wozy wavy baby fuck you pay me

Later shady you don’t phase me

Slim chance i’m hesitating

I don’t care how long it takes me

To break free

y’all fuckin hate me

Cuz I’m a queen

Fem de la phem

Faded like Phaedra

In my tangerine dream

I’m a spit fire

Snort some yayo off the dash

Clap back with the whip with the backlash

Ya I feel lighter

Light as a feather

Whatever the weather

Numb

I’ve come to kill ya

I’ma make it feel all better

I’ma make it feel all better, better, better, better

Damn, homie

In high school you was the man homie

What the fuck happened to you?

Damn homie

You used to be a fuck boy

Now they fucking you?

I ain’t your homie

You didn’t know me

I’ve been livin lonely

And I was hella confused

I was really abused

I was stuck in a loop

I’ve been grinding my teeth

And I been haunted by you

Haunted like the Ink Spots

That come out like ink blots

In the form of deep thoughts

Ya I say please stop

But the wires crossed

Now I’m botched

Tried to kick rocks

But I’ve stopped

Now you can shit talk all you want!

You ain’t safe on my block bitch

I’m a pretty girl and I still got a cock bitch

If that’s a punch line

Lace it with fentanyl

Me at my worst is better than the best of y’all

All you’ll ever be is somebody that knew

Jodhii!

Your ma said you were special

I hope that makes you feel

Cozy!

I been stuck in the rain

Now the weakest link in my chain

Can’t hold back the pain

I’ve been lost in my brain

Figured out the whole game

Maybe someday I’ll taste the fame

Flip it

And take it straight to the bank

No where is safe

Reach out and touch faith

Amazing grace saved face

So I took her place

At the table

Of this fable

And if Cain killed Abel

For the love of the father

Than I don’t wanna be a martyr, son, or a daughter

But if I am a mother

I’ll love her

Adore her

Won’t give her up to the slaughter

Feed her from the fountain

And filter the water

I don’t know what I deserve

But I know who I serve

And if you need someone to lean on

Just say the word

But if I die too young then

FUCK

GAME OVER

#jodhii #whoremoans #queerhiphop #transfemcee #femcee #trans #girlslikeus #consciousrap #undergroundhiphop #pdxhiphop

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sarahburness · 6 years

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Create More, Consume Less: A Surefire Way to Feel More Excited About Life

“Creating means living.” ~Dejan Stojanovic

We live in a consumer culture. We love to eat, drink, and be merry—while binge watching whatever’s trending on Netflix and getting a dopamine hit for every item added to our cart on Amazon Prime.

We love to take it all in—information, entertainment, status updates, news reports, substances, and an endless array of stuff. There’s never a shortage of things we can consume, often to keep our minds distracted and our feelings silenced.

Now don’t get me wrong. I love a good meal, a Jim Beam or two, and an afternoon spent zoned out on my couch, Penn Badgley haunting me hour by hour as his stalking escalates from creepy to criminal.

And I’m all for staying educated and updated, on issues both important and inane. I’ve spent hours obsessively researching all things health-related, and I’m embarrassed to admit that my search history reveals more than a healthy number of celebrity websites, if such a number exists.

I also understand the instinct to shut down for a while. Our minds can get intolerably loud, and sometimes, external demands can be overwhelming. A little disengagement can be a good thing in a world that often requires us to be on.

But there needs to be some kind of balance. If we spend our whole lives ingesting information and scarfing down an assortment of stuff meant to soothe us, we’ll never have the time or space to connect with ourselves and create the things we want to create.

I’m not talking just about artistic expression, though I personally feel more alive when I’m bringing some type of creative vision to life. I’m talking about filling the void inside with our own curiosity, passion, and awe instead of constantly stuffing it with external pleasures.

It may not seem like it in the moment when our shows, social media, or shopping carts beckon, but often the greatest pleasure stems from actively working toward a life that excites us.

What are some things we can create?

1. A mission statement

Many of us go through our days without a sense of purpose. We have no idea what we value or what we stand for. We have no idea what we’re really doing with our lives, or why.

Nothing feels exciting when nothing is fueled by passion or intention.

In order to feel alive, we need to be connected to what matters to us most individually. I’m not talking about a specific career direction, though that could be a part of it. I’m talking about creating a blueprint for how you want to show up in the world so you can be the person you want to be and make decisions that feel right for you.

For example, my current mission statement is:

To live with wonder, courage, compassion, and integrity, prioritizing family, freedom, adventure, and creative expression.

Knowing what I value, I’m better able to decide which opportunities to pursue and accept and which ones to politely decline.

This doesn’t have to be set in stone. Mission statements change over time as we grow and evolve. So write, revisit, and revise, as often you deem necessary.

2. Art

This is the low-hanging fruit for this list. Yes, art is something you can create! Big shocker! But it clearly has a place here nonetheless.

Especially if you’re tempted to consume to avoid your feelings, why not channel them into a creative project instead? Creativity is not only calming and healing, it’s a journey back to the simplistic joy of childhood—when you had countless Lego castles, doodle-filled pages, and chalk street art masterpieces to show for your time. And the possibilities are endless.

You could color, sketch, paint, sculpt, sew, crochet, knit, make jewelry, build something, or write a poem, short story, or song. You could art journal, scrapbook, create a magazine collage, try origami, or make something with unconventional materials (duct tape, wine corks, doll parts from your childhood).

If you tune into your feelings and curiosity, you’ll find endless inspiration, and if you look around, you’ll find endless materials to use and recycle.

It’s worth noting that quite frequently, consumption fuels creation. I can’t tell you how many scripts I read and films I watched when preparing to write my first screenplay. Every movie helped me learn and sparked ideas for my own story and its execution.

Though it’s also wonderful to enjoy art for the sake of it, there’s something thrilling about consuming with a purpose. Not just to be entertained but also to be inspired—so you can create something personally meaningful to you that will hopefully move and inspire other people to live and a love a little louder.

Little feels more exciting than chiseling a piece of your heart into something beautiful that will endure, while simultaneously motivating other people wake up and live more fully.

3. A medium for self-expression

We live in an exciting time for self-expression. No longer do gatekeepers get to decide whose words deserve a platform. Anyone can start a blog, vlog, or podcast to share their thoughts and views with the world.

The beautiful thing is, it’s not too hard to get started. You don’t need a fancy site or special equipment to get going—though those things are nice to have, and they’re things you could always acquire in time, if you like the medium you choose and decide to see how far you can take it.

With a little googling you can easily find a way to get set up today, for free, so you can move out from the shadows and share what’s in your heart and on your mind.

Not only will you give yourself an opportunity to express your feelings and feel truly seen, you’ll likely also help other people through your honesty and vulnerability. Yes, you.

If you think your voice doesn’t matter, consider this: a blog can reach only one person, and yet be the one thing that saved or changed that person’s life. You never know who you’ll help or inspire by finding the courage to speak up.

4. Memories

At the end of it all, when we look back on our lives, we won’t take a mental inventory of the dollars we earned, followers we gained, or items we checked off our to-do list. What we’ll see is a mélange of moments—times when we loved, connected, got outside our comfort zone, and engaged with world with wonder and enthusiasm.

These moments generally don’t just fall into our laps. We have to actively create them. And sometimes that means stepping outside the realm of our routine and actually doing the type of things we daydream about.

There’s a scene in the movie Stepmom (spoiler alert!) where Susan Sarandon’s character, Jackie, knows her cancer is getting worse and her time with her family is limited. So she does something out of character and beautifully touching: She wakes her daughter Anna in the middle of the night and takes her horseback riding, in the snow.

Anna says she’ll never forget this moment, and how could she? She’s nestled close to her dying mother, on a horse, in nature—when the night’s at its most peaceful and she’s usually asleep and unable to see it. Together they feel completely present and alive in this magical moment of connection and awe.

We can all create these kinds of moments. We can create magic for ourselves, someone else, or both, if we’re willing to prioritize it and put in the effort.

5. Possibilities

I suspect a lot of us feel pretty discontent with our lives. Perhaps Thoreau conveyed it best when he wrote “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”

Most of merely survive and think of thriving as a luxury unavailable to the majority. I’m not going to lie; it’s easier for some to thrive than others. Some of us are born into more ideal circumstances, and some get more advantages.

But perhaps the problem isn’t just that not everyone gets the same chances, but also that not everyone takes the same chances.

If we settle into a pit of discontentment and do the same things every day, nothing will ever change.

The only way to make our lives any better is find and seize opportunities instead of waiting for them to come to us.

Make the call. Send the email. Sign up for the course. If you can’t afford it, research scholarships or free or cheap alternatives. Do something to create a new possibility for your life, whether it pertains to your work, your hobbies, or your relationships.

Then the next purchase you make might be something you need for this exciting new path, not something you want because you’re miserably unhappy with the status quo of your unfulfilling life.

6. New connections

We live in an increasingly disconnected world. We spend more time holding devices than hands and look into more screens than eyes, as the Dulce Ruby quote suggests. This is such a lonely way to live. But it doesn’t have to be like this. Not if we prioritize forming and maintaining relationships.

Of course this isn’t easy. It can be challenging to pull ourselves away from our usual indulgences, get outside our little bubble of comfort, and get present in the world beyond our own door. But it’s oh so worth it.

One day last year I was a feeling a little down about my limited social circle where I live near LA. I’ve moved a lot, I travel a lot, and I work from home; and I haven’t done a great job prioritizing relationships where I live.

I was scrolling through my Facebook feed on this afternoon, trying to distract myself from the sadness in my heart, when I decided to do something different: I navigated to a group for Highly Sensitive People, that contributor Bryn Bamber had actually recommended in a post about sensitivity, and I introduced myself, asking if there was anyone near LA.

Several people responded, including one who’s become a great friend—someone I can relate to on a deep personal level. Someone who gets me, who I get back. And not only did I make a new soul connection, I also opened myself up to new possibilities: because of her, I began volunteering at a nearby community theater, where I hope to volunteer again in the future.

It can feel awkward to initiate conversation with someone new. Or at least it feels that way for me. But as Frank told Don in The Green Book, “The world is full of lonely people afraid to make the first movie.” Make the first move. You just might change two lives.

—

In the words of Ferris Bueller, life goes by pretty quickly. Friendships evolve or fade, jobs run their course, kids grow up—and before you know it, we’re looking back at our years, either feeling proud of everything we created or wondering how and why we squandered our time.

I don’t know about you, but I want to prioritize the things that truly matter to me and fill my hours with purposeful actions that fill my heart with peace, passion, and excitement.

I want to make beautiful things, share empowering ideas, and collect more moments of awe than there are grains of sand on the beach.

I also want balance.

I want abundant movie marathons, occasional retail therapy sessions, and Sunday morning mimosas.

I want trashy magazines in the tub, an endless rotation of used true crime books, and a full Netflix queue that seems to scream, “I know what you like, Lori, I get you.”

But I want to consume those things intentionally. Not to avoid or escape anything, but just because they’re fun.

I think that’s a reasonable goal for all of us. To be a little more intentional, a lot more engaged, and in the end, far more excited about the lives we’re living.

About Lori Deschene

Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha. She’s also the author of Tiny Buddha’s Gratitude Journal and other books and co-founder of Recreate Your Life Story, an online course that helps you let go of the past and redefine yourself. An avid film lover, she recently finished writing her first feature screenplay and would appreciate advice from anyone in the industry to help get this made. You can reach her at email (at) tinybuddha.com.

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from Tiny Buddha https://tinybuddha.com/blog/create-more-consume-less-feel-more-excited-about-life/

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artsoccupychi · 7 years

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How To Break Your Sugar Addiction in Four Days

On the GreenSmoothieGirl lecture tour of 450 U.S. cities, I was asked this, over and over:

How do I break my sugar addiction?

And I suspect that far more of us want to ask this question, relative to the few brave enough to say it out loud.

Because we all have Shame about our food addictions.

Shame Feeds Sugar Addiction

The most toxic and negatively charged human emotion is Shame.

Why am I capitalizing it? Because we have a lot of it, wrapped around the foods we vow, in the morning, to quit forever—the same food we secretly stuff in our mouths, in the afternoon and evening.

You’ve likely heard the story before about the dopamine cycle created by addictive foods.

So I’ll spare you. Knowing that you’re in the grip of a chemical, every day, every week, every year—doesn’t really help.

You’re also aware of the way sugar puts inches on your belly, causes your energy crash right when you need to productivity–and puts you at risk for cancer.

And blah, blah, blah.

It’s the Shame I’m more concerned about. Let’s just own it, shall we?

(If we don’t have a sugar addiction, we have a salt addiction. Some of us are unlucky enough to be obsessed with both sugary and salty.)

Both kinds of junk food come with high risks to our health—and even though we know all that, we’ve got a bag of Peanut M&M’s in the bottom drawer at work, or a box of powdered-sugar mini-donuts in our underwear drawer at home.

Where we put them says it all. They’re hidden. More often than not, we eat our sugary junk food when no one’s looking.

And as if the toxic food isn’t bad enough, then we emotionally beat ourselves up about it.

“I’m so self disciplined about other things—I work out, I have a successful career, I got a master’s degree, for crying out loud—why does sugar own me?”

And the self-loathing keeps the cycle going, with the Shame driving the sugar bingeing underground.

And we wake up the next morning, vowing to do better.

Break Your Sugar Addiction: My Sugar Bet

Several years ago, my dear friend Matthew Flinders and I took on a one-year Sugar Bet. It was a vow of sugar celibacy.

If one of us failed, we owed $10,000 to the other.

Before I tell you the outcome, I’ll share my ugly, humiliating moment–then later, I’ll share his.

(And ask his forgiveness after this post is published. Or just hope he doesn’t read it.)

We jointly set some rules that naturally sweet foods, like fruits, were legal.

But no birthday cake, donuts at the office, soda, no chemical sweeteners (like what’s in diet soda) were allowed—not even ketchup.

(Yep, ketchup is chock full of the worst kind of sugar, corn syrup.)

Six months into my year, feeling great, I was in Hawaii on a lecture tour, and my friend, Debbie, and I were doing a little window shopping in town. We stopped for lunch and both had a salad.

Then, the waiter asked if we wanted dessert, and Debbie ordered a brownie with hot fudge and ice cream. I declined, and had a moment of panic.

Here’s the problem: the only temptation trigger worse than a brownie, for this girl—is a brownie with hot fudge and vanilla ice cream.

My instinct told me to run. Debbie wouldn’t have minded. But my ego said, “Nah, you got this.”

As she began eating her dessert, Debbie, who had momentarily forgotten my vow, asked me if I wanted a bite.

A strange thing happened in my mind. This Big Fat Lie seemed completely rational, for as long as it took for me to grab a spoon:

“We’re in Hawaii. Coconuts are fruit. I mean, that’s probably coconut ice cream right there, right? The brownie could be sweetened with coconut sugar…which is kind of like fruit. I mean, I don’t know they AREN’T, so…I could plead ignorant?”

I picked up the extra spoon on the side of the plate, and took one delicious, gooey bite.

A sick feeling settled over me felt like a faraway memory I couldn’t quite place.

The next morning, I went for a run on the beach, and my guilt (and the panic that I really owed Matthew $10,000) swallowed me—unavoidable now–and I actually started crying, while I ran. To be honest, my shame, guilt, and dread at the conversation I had to have, when I got home, ruined the rest of my trip.

I realized that the déjà vu I had as I ate that one illegal bite reminded me of when I was five years old, and put a roll of Lifesavers in my pocket, shopping at a department store with my Dad.

In the car, I tried to eat one, but my guilty feelings wouldn’t let me swallow, and I literally choked, as the candy dissolved in my mouth.

My dad finally asked me what was wrong with me, why my face was red and I couldn’t speak, and was coughing.

And the confession came out, with a flood of tears. My dad took me into the store, to confess to the manager.

Now, at 42 years old, I had no excuse. I went home and gave Matthew $1,000 in cash, and asked him for mercy.

I asked him: Is there was any way I could continue the contest, giving him 10% of the big money I really owed, and I’ll pay the rest if I messed up again?

Days later, he came over to my house, told me he agreed to “mercy” me, and tried to give me the cash back. I refused to take it.

I was grateful for the do-over, and I won’t defend that I talked my way back into the bet. I really wanted to finish. And save face.

(I know, I suck. Followers of my blog told me so. You can comment and tell me so, AGAIN, if you want to. But that’s the story. That’s what happened.)

The year ended, both of us successful, and I was pretty proud. By that point in my life, I was a certifiable “health nut,” but my sugar addiction had dogged me since my earliest memory.

(After all, I was stealing Life Savers at five.)

The night after our bet ended, Matthew showed up on my porch to pick me up for Zumba. And showed me the four King Sized candy bar wrappers he had just eaten.

We’ve had a lot of laughs about that year, and the videos we made periodically, which are probably still on YouTube.

An interesting thing happened during those 12 months.

I can’t say I don’t ever eat sugar. Sometimes I do. But not very often. I can go days, and weeks, without it—and I don’t overdo, any more.

That year taught me that life is still sweet, without rewarding myself constantly with sugar.

But it doesn’t have to take you a year, or even a month to break your sugar addiction. You can beat a sugar addiction in as little as four days.

A Four-Day Sugar Challenge Even Kids Can Do

My children’s book, The Adventures of Junk Food Dude, is a story about two kids who come from very different homes. I’d like to read you a few pages.

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The Green Smoothie Guy is an athlete, in 2nd grade, and is raised eating greens, vegetables, fruits—all the good stuff.

Junk Food Dude (whose real name is revealed later in the story) is his classmate who faces an all-too-common self-esteem-wrecker: childhood obesity.

This is the story of one-third of America’s children now.

But, while Junk Food Dude is routinely picked last for dodge ball, Green Smoothie Guy is kind, befriends him, and invites him to walk home with him after school.

They make some snacks, and Green Smoothie Guy proposes something interesting.

In this video, which you’re welcome to share with your kids, I read a few pages of the book, that explain a very hopeful and true principle.

Your body doesn’t actually want to be addicted to chemical substances. (Sugar resembles a chemical in every way, and evokes the same cascade of responses from the human body.)

And, when given a period of time as short as four days, sugar loses its chokehold.

On my lecture tour, I talked to many people who have never, in their lives, gone four whole days without processed sugar. I used to ask for a show of hands. And many had never done that.

But when I challenge you to ditch it for four days—remember, My Name is Robyn and I’m a Sugar Addict—you may be completely astonished that, for the first time in your life, you simply do not crave it, after that four days.

What You Can Expect When You Go Off Sugar

It’s a simple science experiment that will prove something interesting to you. And that is, you are stronger than you think.

You are actually innately drawn to the colors, textures, and flavors of real food. That is your genetic programming, and those natural, whole foods are what your ancestors ate for thousands of years.

You can’t discover this UNLESS you quit sugar for four days. (And I know you can. The first four days were much, much harder than the subsequent 361. Well, except that one day in Hawaii.)

But…it’s just four days.

Choose the days of the week you face the fewest temptations, and plan ahead with delicious, flavorful whole-food meals that will fill you and satisfy your taste buds.

Now, if you don’t find the sugar cravings completely disappearing after four days?

Whatever you do, don’t let Shame grab you by the throat. It serves no one. Behaviors driven underground flourish in the darkness. Say no to shame!

You’re no different from me—and I make a living telling people how to eat healthy.

Sugar is more addictive than crack cocaine. Multiple studies have proven it.

It takes some people a little bit longer, if they have candida yeast overgrowth, or they eat higher than average amounts of sugar, or soda.

Sugar is more addictive than crack cocaine. Multiple studies have proven it.

But it’s actually quite amazing what four days off the “nice girl’s crack” will do, for your confidence level that, in fact, sugar does not own you, and you CAN break your sugar addiction.

So, take a listen to a few pages of a children’s book, and see if you’re up for the challenge. You’ve got this. Let me know how it went. I’m rooting for you.

— Robyn Openshaw, MSW, is a single mom of four salad-eating, adulting kids, and the author of The Adventures of Junk Food Dude, and Junk Food Dude’s Yummy Healthy Recipes, a great gift set (discounted when you get both books) for a cool kid you know. And hey, use FIVEOFF for a second discount!

Or, she has a FREE video masterclass you can sign up for here, to learn how she got herself, and her kids, off the Standard American Diet, to lose 70 pounds and ditch 21 diagnosed diseases.

Disclosure: This post may contain Affiliate links that help support the GSG mission without costing you extra. I recommend only companies and products that I use myself.

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#infrared saunas #healthy

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