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plan-d-to-i · 3 years

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1-people forget that in the universe MXTX created it is stated that YZY's situation is not normal, it is a patriarcal society so wives don't keept their names nor do whatever the fuck they want and they certainly don't humiliate their husband without even being told off, she's uniquely horrible and JFM is uniquely spineless. i always think JFM did love and worried about WWX but that last interaction he threw him under the bus to appease JC so his last memory would cement that he did love him

2- bc he didn't have more time to keep trying to make him understand and i always wonder how things with JC could have been fixed, easiest would be having had the balls to get rid off YZY early but if he divorced her (or got her killed lol) would JC have been different? or would he resent him even more for not protecting his mother? idk i feel like JFM was cursed from the moment he accepted to marry her and i can't help feeling bad for him

LOVE THIS. So I agree w like 99.9999% only my feelings over JFM change every five minutes. I never hate him but I vacillate wildly between i feel like he could've done more and ig he was himself a trapped in that situation so it's unfair to hold him fully accountable.

Madam Yu is an undeniably violently abusive woman who has married a kind, non-confrontational man. Most of JFM's flaws are only seen as 'flaws' instead of qualities because they framed as ineffective against someone as rank as her. I wouldn't even say he's spineless, because he does cancel YanLi's engagement for fear that it will make her as unhappy as his own marriage made him & effectively stands against his wife's demand on top of also passing on a very beneficial alliance w Jin Clan. (In fact Jin GuangShan is way more reluctant at the thought of taking this news to Madam Jin.)

Abusive relationships have their own dynamics so it's hard watching from the outside how JFM's resignation to his circumstances and avoidance are ineffective against, someone like YZY who materializes like a storm cloud to rain her venom down on everyone, especially WWX. Because WWX is not only bearing the scars piled on his back from YZY's whippings/'discipline' but he's trapped in a perpetual balancing act between JFM, YZY, jc and to an extent Yanli. He has to make JFM proud/see the value in keeping him around & at least in the beginning of his stay with the Jiangs we know he always tries to eat/take less than he needs, but he can't be so good & talented that jc feels threatened or set Madam Yu off. At the same time Yanli rewards him with soup and affection when he takes the fall for jc his first day there. This definitely establishes a pattern wherein WWX sees his usefulness within the Jiang sect in diverting punishment for the failings of those around him, especially jc, to himself. She also repeatedly asks him to just accept jc’s shifty behavior as a representative of his affection... bc she's a huge fucking enabler, which probably doesn’t bode well for how she’s come to interpret affection.

As for YZY she's the only one who paints herself a victim, when it's clear she's the instigator of the conflicts!!!! She’s literally the bad guy, boss, fly in the ointment etc. There's a lot of gaslighting in her interactions with JFM so I'm confused as to why people think that of everyone she's the reliable narrator or some poor sad victim of an uninterested husband??? She clearly does as she pleases in Lotus Pier, yells at JFM in front of Servants, accuses him of fathering a child with his friend's wife, she whips the head disciple for imagined infractions with a spiritual weapon! and pretty much just chills w her ladies when she isn't busy spewing venom wherever she goes. WITH NO REPRECUSSIONS. If JFM had been a woman and YZY the man I'm sure all her cringe stans would be frothing at the mouth to drag her(yzy) to hell by the balls.

People love to accuse JFM of favoritism towards WWX or showing him more affection. To me it's clear that for JMF, WWX is simply an extension of his father/friend & ultimately a subordinate in the Jiang household. JFM clearly cares about jc, it's not his fault that jc doesn't get it, and it's not his fault that YZY is always poisoning their relationship. JFM for his part is still trying to guide jc towards how he's meant to occupy his future position as Clan leader, quite gently too considering jiang cheng was berating WWX for saving their allies... I’m sure if anything JFM hoped WWX’s morality and sense of right and wrong would rub off a bit on jc & why wouldn't you want someone immensely talented and loyal and devoted to the well being of your son and family around?? JFM did a nice thing getting WWX off the streets but that doesn’t mean he also didn’t think WWX could be a good friend to jc who when WWX is first brought to Lotus Pier has ZERO friends, and was likely to remain with zero friends considering his personality. Only someone like WWX who is forced by circumstances, & his kind nature & gratitude to the Jiangs would be in a position to befriend him. So I think it's laughable to say JFM favors WWS when WWX was the sacrificial lamb friend/pet JFM gifted his son. Not to mention that the only person who says JFM doesn't properly value jc is again YZY. Ofc jc takes to like a duck to water because he's cut from the same cloth as his rancid mother and it's much easier to blame WWX for all his failings and misfortunes than to take a good hard look at himself or ever take responsibility for anything. jc doesn't do self reflection. There isn't any scenario where jc would have been a good person. He's lacking basic human empathy. His view of the world has him as its center. He can only relate to things as they concern and affect him and he doesn't even possess a modicum of honor that might keep such selfish impulses at bay.

To conclude, I totally agree. JFM cursed himself the moment he let himself be coerced by YZY and her Clan into marrying a person whose character and values he knew ran so deeply counter to his and his Clan's own. Sure enough under the control of jiang cheng, the original spirit in which Jiang clan was established is gone. It's a place devoid of warmth that people are scared to visit lest they be confronted w the screams of people being flayed alive.

#mdzs #jiang cheng #jiang family #yu ziyuan #madam yu #jiang yanli #the jiangs suck #WHY DID I MAKE THIS SO LONG FFFFF #I tried to edit it down 138431 times #this was edited 2000 times #I obviously consider YZY to be the shittiest shit to ever be shit on the face of the earth #and I think this is v JFM favorable at least it's meant to be but as always I cast a lot of shade all the way around

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twdmusicboxmystery · 6 years

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Thoughts on News About AL and LC - What it means for TD

Okay, I know it's been a few weeks since I've written anything new. Until a few days ago, there really wasn't much for me to write about. People want my thoughts on the news that Andrew Lincoln may be leaving TWD. I'm going to talk about a lot of different subjects and possibilities here, so bear with me.

First let me say that I originally wrote this two days ago, but have re-written it several times. A lot has happened and my perspective keeps changing.

Originally I was going to give arguments both for and against it being true. When news of Andrew leaving first broke, a lot of people thought it was a publicity stunt. There are still reasons it might be, but in the past few days, we’ve gotten a lot more confirmations, and it’s looking more and more like it’s probably true. A small part of me will hold out hope that it’s not real up until we actually see S9 play out, but overall, I’m preparing myself to lose Rick as a character, because we probably will.

Ditto with Lauren Cohan leaving. I’ve been pretty unconvinced of her departure up until, well, like yesterday. I feel like people are really jumping to conclusions because of her contract dispute, but I’ve never seen that as good enough evidence that she’s actually leaving. Again, she still may not be. Lauren said this right after they finally worked out her contract:

“I’m going back. There’s a lot more Maggie story to tell. You know we’re not allowed to tell you anything, but it’s good.” (Source)

That just doesn't sound like she's leaving after six episodes to me.

However, some of my FB peeps brought up some good points the other day (I’ll get into them below) that are making me think Lauren leaving may be a real thing as well. I’ll get into that in a minute.

Okay so let's assume for a minute that Andrew Lincoln is definitely leaving. How will this go down?

I hope that if he does leave, they won’t actually kill him off. I'm hoping they’ll do more of a Morgan-esque thing where he has to head off on his own for a while, leaving Daryl in charge. Unlike Lennie James, AL will be working on his own projects rather than other TWD spinoffs, but that would allow them to bring him back after a few seasons if they so choose. I just feel like Rick should be in the final season or final episode of the series, whenever that may be.

Yes, I know this is probably wishful thinking. This is TWD, after all, and character arcs never truly closed until they die. You could argue that Rick is kind of an exception, though. He is the main character and always has been, not a side character who only came on for a few seasons. So, while it might not be entirely realistic. I'm still hoping they give him the option to return at some point.

What will it mean for TD?

Honestly, even I really don't want AL to leave the series, this actually bodes very well for TD.

Let’s review what happened during S8. No one on TD really predicted Carl's death, but once it hit the airwaves, I knew right away that it was correct. When the spoiler site reported it 2 weeks into S8, they didn’t confirm it, saying to take it with a grain of salt. At the time, I wrote THIS POST and knew the spoiler about Carl would turn out to be correct. Why? Because of the symbolism in S4.

The biggest clue was the sheriff’s hat falling off Carl's head. We saw the same thing twice in S7 and then again right before his walker bite was revealed. You’ve got to understand that TWD finds creative ways to foreshadow things. Most of us wouldn’t consider a hat falling off someone's head to be death omen, but in this case, it was. If they’d put a skull and cross bones in the background behind Chandler, that would have been way too obvious. Gimple is smarter than that. He finds more creative ways to foreshadow things.

So while we totally didn't pick up on the foreshadow, because the hat falls off Carl's head before Rick picks it up and puts it on Beth, I immediately realized it was always a foreshadow that Carl would die before Beth came back.

So now let’s take that damn flashback in 4x16 bit farther. After putting the hat on Beth, what does Rick say? The famous line we’ve all pointed to for years now: "There's a new sheriff in town."

I never thought that this meant Rick would die. As I said in THIS POST, I thought it meant that he would step down from leadership, just as he did in 4a. I just thought it meant Beth would be in charge rather than Rick, but that Rick would still be around.

But now we get this news that AL might be leaving. Rick leaving reinforces that they're going to need a new leader. And while they are reporting that Daryl will step into Rick shoes, and I'm sure he will be the main character, it just paves the way even more for Beth to return as the new sheriff in town.

It also seems to me that without Rick and the partnership/bromance between Rick and Daryl, Daryl is going to need a partner to balance him out. It doesn't necessarily have to be a romantic partner (Jesus balances Maggie) but we also had Norman teasing that Daryl might finally get a romance after AOW. Again, that doesn't necessarily mean it will be Beth, but it will be someone. And you all know who I think it will be.

So, Andrew leaving the show is actually better for TD than if he didn't. Again, I really don't want him to leave and I hope he doesn't, but just as with the symbolism around Carl's death, it makes a certain kind of sense that perhaps the new sheriff in town won't show up until the current sheriff disappears in some way. (The transition could also happen concurrently, though.)

So now we get to the real crux of what I wanted to say today. I've been thinking last few days about this news all its implications. I've been running over all the dialogue and symbolic evidence we’ve looked at for years now. Here’s the conclusion I've come to:

If it turns out to be true, and both AL and LC are truly leaving the show, I don't believe for one minute that it's a decision they suddenly came to somewhere between S8 and S9. I think it's been planned that way for a very, very long time. Same as with Carl's death. We have evidence (because of the hat) that when Gimple took over as showrunner in S4, he already had Carl's death planned. I simply don't believe that he would have that much planned out (and Beth's arc/eventual return planned out) but then Andrew Lincoln leaving would come out of left field. No freaking way.

I'm not saying they always knew exactly what episode they’d leave in or even that the writers decided to write them out of the show. I just think everybody planned this in advance and has known about it for a while.

Let me explain:

Let’s return to S3. At the end of the season, showrunner Frank Mazzuri was fired for killing characters off without direction. Basically, it came down to a lack of planning, which was pissing everyone off. Especially AMC. So, he was fired and Gimple was promoted to showrunner.

I always refer back to the trailer from S4, which talks about “a whole new chapter” being in place. That was the start of Gimple's reign. (Full Trailer HERE.)

We’ve also seen a lot of things pointing to S4-S8. TD has always thought it meant Beth will show up in S8. That wasn't the case, but we still think she’ll show up after S8. Like S4-S8 was when ginormous arc, and only after that will the new sheriff return. The post I wrote HERE about the structure of Them foreshadowing this has all the details.

So, I’m envisioning a scenario where, when Gimple took over prior to S4, he already had many years of the show planned out. (He’s told us before that he has through season 15 planned out.) Logistically, he would've needed to check with Andrew Lincoln to make sure that was okay.

The show was finishing up his 3rd season going into the 4th. There are plenty of shows that only go 3 to 4 seasons before being canceled. A lot of actors might not have wanted to participate in the show much longer. Most actors want to do multiple projects, rather than be tied to one. (Norman is the obvious exception to this.) Another good example of this is just recently when Frank Dillane left FTWD. He said he’d played the character for 3 seasons and wanted to move on to other things.

So, with Rick being the main character in TWD, the writers had to have known that maybe he wouldn't want to stick around that long. So I’m wondering if Gimple sat down with Andrew after S3 and explained that he very well could do another 12+ seasons of TWD and asking Andrew what he thought. I'm thinking Andrew said he wasn't ready to leave the show yet (because he didn’t) but he probably wasn't going want to hang around for 12 more seasons. So, he told Gimple to keep him on for another 5-6 years and then write him out. Based on that, Gimple created his story, always planning to write Rick out after AOW.

S4-S8, as we’ve all said many times, was all about Rick. @thegloriouscollectorlady even pointed out that even Coda was really all about Rick. The ending was from his point of view. It was about how he handled the situation badly and that led to Beth being shot. But this huge, 4-season arc was all based around Rick.

Meanwhile, as I explained HERE, Gimple set Beth up as a strange, minor arc so he could always bring her back once Andrew left the show. Even though we didn't know that, and have been predicting every season that she’ll return, and certainly never predicted Andrew Lincoln leaving anymore than we predicted Carl's death, I do think that it was probably always planned this way.

Many lines of dialogue and such can be seen in a different light, given the information that Andrew is leaving.

Of course there’s all the obvious stuff about Beth being new sheriff in town and Bethyl being a thing. The needed to play out this other arc, needed to see Daryl suffer and learn and grow before he could sustain that relationship. No doubt Beth will have learned and grown a lot too, and she will come back not only as a leader and a badass, but as someone who's even more suited to Daryl that she was in S4 and S5.

I’m even thinking about the interview Andrew gave after Coda. I talked about it in detail HERE. He said he thought Emily “deserved this death” because she was so kind and sweet and such a great actor, etc. That never made any sense because why would anyone deserve a senseless death? But he sounded like he was being kind when he said it, not cruel.

So it's always been TD's theory that he knew Beth will return, and while he couldn't actually say it in the interview because it would've been a spoiler, he was really referring to an arc where she goes away for a time, but then returns.

It’ll be the biggest plot twist ever, and quite frankly it might be the only thing that can save the show's ratings. As long as Daryl’s around, I think a good many people will continue to tune into the show. And as with Carl's death, there are plenty of people saying that they won’t watch the show anymore. I'm sure that's true of some of them, but most will at least return to see how Rick goes out and to see how the show fares without him. If they suddenly plunked Beth's return down into the middle of all that, that's going keep a lot of viewers and maybe even bring some back to see how Beth and Daryl's arc continues.

As to my earlier discussion about whether they'll kill Rick off or not, there is one line that makes me think that they will. Beth’s line to Daryl in Still: "You're gonna be the last man standing."

We've attributed that to many things, including the fact that Daryl wouldn't kneel to Negan, but it definitely does sound like he might outlive Rick. 😥

I’m also thinking about a lot of the things that Norman has said over the past few seasons. He’s talked many times about how Daryl hasn't had much to say. He’s gotten a few cool arcs, blowing shit up and such, but he hasn't had a whole lot of character development since Beth's death. (Even non-TDers recognize this.) You’d think Norman would have more of a problem with that, but he always says that he trusts the show's writers, and that he will play Daryl until he's 80, if they let him. It’s always endearing that he has that kind of loyalty to the show, but now I'm wondering if there’s more to it than that. Maybe one reason he’s said things like that is to hint that at some point, Daryl is going to come front and center and be a leader, just as he was in 4a. Him leading at the prison probably foreshadowed his leadership once Rick, the current sheriff, wasn't there anymore.

Finally, let’s turn to the crux of my debate over whether is Lauren is leaving. The first line that comes to mind and suggests she might be leaving/dying is when Daryl said to Beth in Still, “You ain’t never gonna see Maggie again.” I actually worried that Maggie might get the bat in 6x16 because of that line, but there were plenty of reasons to think she wouldn’t as well.

Now, if she’s really leaving the show, and so is the current sheriff (Rick), and it’s looking more and more like Beth will show up in S9, Beth really may never see Maggie again. (Which totally sucks! 😥 )

But another line from Still sort of clashes with this. A line I’m constantly going back to: “I’m not Michonne, I’m not Carol, I’m not Maggie, but I made it!” We keep saying that at some point Michonne will have to lead instead of Rick. I’ve just always thought that he would step down, as I’ve said above. But once again, AL leaving the show just paves the way for Beth’s line to be fulfilled, as it would leave Michonne leading Alexandria. Something we’ve been waiting for, for a long time. But I also feel like this suggests Maggie needs to be alive and leading. So I’m not sure which way it will go.

Then my FB peeps, including M-Nonny and @frangipanilove came up with even more examples I hadn’t considered.

In 8x01, Maggie says to Rick, “One more battle. And I’m gonna be there, at least for the first part.” Then Rick says to Maggie, “After this, I’m following you.” So the theory is that “this” was All Out War, and if Maggie leaves or dies, Rick will follow her. It may have been a very blatant foreshadowing of that.

And back to Daryl’s line about not seeing Maggie again? Right before he says that, he mentions Rick. “You ain’t never gonna see them again. Rick…You ain’t never gonna see Maggie again.” Mentioning Rick always made sense in context for the most part, because Rick and Daryl were close and of all the people at the prison, Daryl was feeling the loss of his brother. But think about that. He specifically mentions Rick and Maggie that Beth will never see again. Not Carol or Michonne or Judith. Now AL and LC may be leaving the show at the same time. Can that possibly be a coincidence?

It’s this symbolism and dialogue foreshadowing that are convincing me, much more than anything outside the world of the show, that AL and LC really may be leaving. Like I said, as much as it sucks and I don’t want them to leave, it’s actually a good thing for TD.

Does it mean they’ll both die? Not necessarily. Rick could “follow” Maggie in some other way that doesn’t mean death, but I wouldn’t necessarily get my hopes up about that either. I’ve thought more than once that, although I hope Rick doesn’t die and he just leaves the group for a while like Morgan has, it would also be a bit of a disservice to his character. Because Rick would really never leave Judith and Michonne. But it’s something maybe we could accept as a trade-off for not killing his character since the actor wants to leave for a time, even if it’s unrealistic.

But…Rick AND Maggie leaving their children. Just cuz? Yeah, that’s really pushing the limits of reality and I doubt the writers would even attempt something that absurd. And then there’s Daryl’s line about Beth never seeing them again.

If I'm right, and all this was planned when Gimple first took the helm, then chances are most of the main characters have known about it since then. Maybe not exact details or when it would play out specifically, but I believe that most of the main ones have known about Beth’s eventual return since S5 or earlier. If they knew that, then they also probably knew Andrew would be leaving at some point.

Just one more thing I want to throw out there that I thought of this morning. Well, two things, but they go hand in hand. Everyone is saying AL and LC will only be in 6 episodes this season, right? Well, chances are episode 6 will air either at the very end of November or the beginning of December, depending on when the premiere is. Remember this walker:

There’s a November calendar behind her, which is what has made us hope to see Beth in November each season since she disappeared. There’s also all the Christmas/Santa Clause symbolism that could suggest December. Now, we could hope for that this season, and it will be no different than when we hoped for it in previous seasons. I’m just saying that AL and LC leaving the show right around that same time may not be a coincidence. We certainly didn’t have that happening in previous seasons.

Finally, assuming Beth shows up in S9, we certainly don’t know when it will be. As we’ve said before, she could show up for the audience in episode 1, as Morgan did in S5, but not actually arrive at wherever TF is until much later in the season. You would hope that she would show up concurrently with AL and LC leaving, just so it’s less sad (trading some hope for some tragedy) but with Daryl’s line about her not seeing them again, chances are she won’t show up until after they’re gone.

So I was just thinking about how we’ve always said that Daryl will have to be in a very dark, hopeless place before Beth returns. We’ve thought he’d reached that place several times throughout the seasons: after Beth, in Them, after Denise, when he was Negan’s prisoner in The Cell. But if he loses both Rick and Maggie, chances are that will be worse than anything we’ve seen thus far.

Oh, and one more thing. (Sorry.) Remember all the child and baby symbolism around Beth? (Details HERE.) If we do lose both Maggie and Rick, there will be two small children (Judith and Baby Hershel), both with very strong ties to Beth and Daryl, who will need parenting. Just saying.

So these have been my swirling thoughts over the past few days since this news broke. No matter what happens, I for one am still very interested to see what direction the show takes. I’ll be sticking around to find out.

Sorry this to so long. If you're still reading, many thanks and go you!

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

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celticheartedfangirl · 7 years

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Riddle me this . . . regarding the status of Once Upon a Time . . .

I’m not tagging this as spoilers because this isn’t a spoiler, it’s a FACT . . . as of today -- April 7, 2017 -- there has been NO INFORMATION released on the status of OUAT for a Season 7. We don’t know if there will/won’t be one, if there is if it will be a shorter season, full season, nothing.

We also don’t know if anyone is leaving from the main cast, and if so who.

Again -- it is April 7.

Before I start, let me state this -- I am NOT INTERESTED in discussing speculation, he said/she said/gossip, and other psychic connection information that you may have on the future of OUAT and the current main cast.

Unless it has been announced publicly, by a definitive, professional source (i.e. ABC, an actor’s personal publicity company or an actor THEMSELVES via a reputable news outlet in a public forum), I don’t want to discuss it here. Take it elsewhere, cause I’m sick of hearing about it and frankly it’s pissing me off. Thank you.

That being said . . . I can’t think of any other time that a show that has been on the air for this long has had their future dangling with no resolution this late in the season. The only one that MAYBE comes to mind is Castle, but I don’t watch that show. I know there was some brou-ha-ha about that but since I don’t watch I don’t know the details. If anyone can fill in those blanks to better understand what happened there please do because my understanding is it is a similar situation to OUAT.

The show is wrapped for the season. No more filming. By now . . . ABC knows the fate of OUAT. They have to. They are incompetent if they don’t. IF there will be a S7, they know who is staying and who is not.

Why aren’t they telling us???

OUAT is no longer a successful show in the big picture scheme of things. It hasn’t been since last season. It’s been floundering since the second half of S4. If it were any other show, it would have been toast by now.

The problem is . . . . OUAT has also captured a niche fandom crowd that not all shows do. They know that, even after its cancellation, ABC and The Mouse can make money off of merchandising for this show . . . . for years, possibly decades to come, especially if it remains on Netflix indefinitely. At least once a month I see a newbie on Tumblr coming into the Rumbelle fandom via Netflix, and I’m sure there are more but not everyone does social media. And I’m sure this is the case in every fan base for this show.

So FANDOM wise -- OUAT can still make money. The problem is -- no matter what they do, whether they end it this year or next year -- this show will NOT end on a high note. It’s going to go out with a whimper no matter what happens. I just do not see a path for OUAT to regain its footing as a successful show for ABC. And it’s bizarre that the folks at ABC would think there is one. They are very foolish if they think that, and I question how they have jobs in network television if that is the case.

It just seems like EVERY MOVE they’re making in how they market this show is the wrong one. And every move they’re making in regard to how they decide when/if the show is going to end is pissing off their core viewers more and more.

The GA doesn’t give a shit about this show anymore. They tune in to the first couple minutes just to see -- if they’re not busy. If nothing grabs them, they change the channel. (Which is why having a fucking FOUR MINUTES before a recognizable character showed up at the beginning of Ill-Boding Patterns was a REALLY stupid thing to do, for example. GA isn’t going to wait four minutes to see someone they know on a six-year-old show. They turned that shit off, and rightfully so. I would have if I was GA.)

I don’t know . . . . I just think that they’re doing this all wrong. EVERYTHING they’re doing in the way they’re handling this is wrong. How can they not see it????

#once upon a time #ouat #random thoughts

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p-weezy1 · 7 years

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Stars and Galaxies

Send a space thing for questions

Stars: Experiences

Sun: Have you ever had alcohol? I’m barely old enough.

Sirius: Have you ever failed a class? If time management would have been a class I would’ve failed constantly. I’ll respectfully add 15 minutes to any appointed time. Just my subtle way of letting everyone know I’m not half as organized as I should be.

Rigel: Have you ever gone on a rollercoaster? Can we talk about Space Mountain? Also my favorite ride at Disney.

Deneb: Have you ever been out of your home country? We’ve been to so many foreign countries and continents. Touring with the band and getting to experience different cultures is insane and I’m grateful for that. Just preparations for our upcoming world domination. Wait for it. I’ll drop some cryptic hints on twitter.

Arcturus: Have you cried out of something other than sadness? There are a lot of reasons why I end up crying, some are ridiculous, others more serious. I have the tendency to cry out of anger and frustration a lot. Stress is a factor too. It’s like when you just cooked yourself a meal and then you accidentally drop it, that’s something I could cry over for an hour because I know I won’t be getting any food anytime soon. I cry a lot during movies. I’m that person you hear cleaning their nose in the most inappropriate moments and the atmosphere is ruined. I probably cry more than you’d think but it’s a great way to let off some steam. I often cry because I can’t stop laughing, or because I’m beyond grateful for the good things in my life as well. Believe me, you can pretty much always find something to cry about.

Betelgeuse: What’s something you can never forget about? Too many things to list them all but probably the birth of my kids or when From Unter the Cork Tree went platinum. Stuff like playing for a couple of kids in basements or the recording of certain songs. Working with great artists or happy memories with friends and family. I’m living life so much that I’m rewarded with all these great experiences I couldn’t possibly forget.

Aldebaran: What’s something you care desperately about? Family, friends, love, peace, Star Wars, music, politics, freedom of speech, culture, equal rights, art, good conversations, anything I can express myself with, anything I can create to add some color to other people’s lives or help them make better decisions for themselves. Also, for people to hear our message as a band and that the future world my kids will have to live in will be a little less distressing than today’s.

Canopus: Have you ever broken a bone? I’ve broken my ankle during a show about ten years ago by jumping off one of the speakers. That was pretty bad because I pulled through until the end of the gig anyway. At one point my foot was the size of a small car or something but I got this walking cast so we didn’t have to cancel any shows. Not my greatest memory.

Bellatrix: Have you ever been forced to lie/keep a secret? I’ve myself to blame for this one. I think at one point in my life I kinda ended up forcing myself to lie about the way I felt or the thoughts that didn’t let me sleep at night because I was convinced I couldn’t talk to anyone. Which wasn’t the case because my friends and family were pretty worried about me but it’s difficult to tell the truth and spill your secrets when you’re in a bad place and too much into your own head.

Alphard: Have you ever lost a friend?I have. I guess that’s something that’s inevitable, especially the older you get.

Vega: What’s something you’ve done that you wish you hadn’t?I don’t have any regrets, I mean everything I’ve ever done that didn’t turn out to be a great decision has still gotten me to where I am today. I’m not particularly proud of everything I’ve done when I was younger. But there are probably a few things that kinda still bug me, such as being an asshole to people I love or not being able to save past relationships. Everything happens for a reason so I’m glad to be in such a good place in the present with two awesome kids, the band, the fans and my friends.

Galaxies: Love/Friends

Milky Way: Who’s your oldest friend?I have a couple of old friends that have been in my life and putting up with me for decades. Like my brothers in the band, Travie, Ryan, Brendon and a couple others. Think I’m pretty lucky they didn’t leave when I was having a shitty time.

Andromeda: Do you consider yourself social? I’m really two people. I can be the most social dude on the planet or switch to hermit mode in 2.5

Black Eye Galaxy: Do you believe in love at first sight? I generally believe in love and those things. Doesn’t feel impossible in love, you know? I feel like some more people should give it a chance because it seems like not believing in it has turned into some edgy trend. I get that you’re hurt or get disappointed a lot but who hasn’t been there? It’s a good thing, although it makes you vulnerable.

Cartwheel Galaxy: When was your first kiss? 16/17, classic late bloomer but I’ve had enough practice since then don’t worry.

Cigar Galaxy: How’s your flirting skills? They’re fantastic. I know a lot of great pick up lines. I mean it’s definitely a progress. My main goal in high school used to be to get as physically close to a girl as possible so she didn’t have a choice but to kiss me. Jokes aside, I’m straightforward most of the time and it has proven to be efficient.

Comet Galaxy: Have you ever had to leave a relationship because someone changed too much? Either that or not at all.

Pinwheel Galaxy: Would you date the last person you talked to? I spoke to my mom so this question just made me feel super weird and uncomfortable. Thanks for that.

Sombrero Galaxy: Do you have a crush right now? I’m crushing on every pizza delivery dude. I mean I’ll probably fall for you if you knock on my door with a pizza box in your hand- but if it’s empty you’ll go to a free trip straight to the friendzone.

Bode’s Galaxy: Have you ever had a secret admirer? Ask google. Does Pete Wentz have secret admirers? According to some websites I’m dead and have been replaced by a clone so it’s probably just my clone that has secret admirers. Didn’t happen to me before.

Sunflower Galaxy: Would you date/make friends with someone out of pity? Not gonna waste my time or theirs. Life is too short for insignificance.

Tadpole Galaxy: Would you deny a relationship/friendship? Absolutely. If you don’t have a spine it’s time for you to crawl back home.

Whirlpool Galaxy: Have you ever cried over a breakup? I probably cry more over breakups than my partners at the time.

#m.

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A Lazy Person's Guide to the 2018 Winter Olympics

New Post has been published on https://www.articletec.com/a-lazy-persons-guide-to-the-2018-winter-olympics/

A Lazy Person's Guide to the 2018 Winter Olympics

The Summer Olympics are not designed for the lazy person. It’s hard to feel good about yourself, lounging in a La-Z-Boy and crushing some beers, while nearly-nude specimens are sprinting by in a blur, their muscles rippling and gleaming with sweat.

That’s why the Winter Olympics are so swell. With all the athletes covered up in parkas, ski caps, and goggles, and it being freezing outside in most of the country, being a lazy ass is way more acceptable.

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Of course, the Winter Olympics is more esoteric than the Summer Games. There’s no running, jumping, or throwing shit—the general basis of athletic endeavor. The Winter Games are dominated by sports you’ve never even heard of, can’t believe are real—like, who the hell came up with skeleton?—or can’t afford to play anyway.

There’s no time to learn everything, so you’ll need a lazy person’s crash course to the two-week spectacle.

1. It’s being held in South Korea.

That’s the “good” one. (Although host city PyeongChang is just 50 miles from the demilitarized zone separating North and South Korea.)

2. They’ve hosted once before.

Ben Johnson before the start of the 100 meter semi-final in Seoul, South Korea, in 1988.

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That time it was the 1988 Summer Olympics in Seoul, 78 miles west of PyeongChang. It was the last-ever Olympics to include the Soviet Union and East Germany. That was also the Olympics that a ’roided-up Ben Johnson ran the 100 meters in, like, four seconds.

3. North Korea is participating.

The North and South Koreans formed a joint team. That should go smoothly.

4. Russia isn’t competing, though.

The Olympic Athletes of Russian during PyeongChang opening ceremonies.

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That’s because of mass doping allegations. Nevertheless, certain (clean) Russian athletes are competing. I know, it’s odd. They’ll march under a flag for OAR, Olympic Athletes of Russia.

5. It’s already tomorrow in PyeongChang.

South Korea is 14 hours ahead of the East Coast. That means whatever you are watching on primetime TV is probably live and NBC can’t do their typical bullshit where they edit taped events together like some reality show and then tease the one event you actually want to watch for three hours before airing it a few minutes before midnight.

6. The one U.S. Olympian you’ve probably heard of is still pretty good.

Many experts place Lindsey Vonn as the favorite in the women’s downhill, even though since the 2014 Olympics she’s severely fractured her humerus, suffered a major back injury, made Toni Lehren yell on Fox News (but who hasn’t?), and faced typical airlines nonsense to actually get to Korea.

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7. Oh wait, you’ve heard of Shaun White, too.

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Remember the Flying Tomato? He’s still pretty good at snowboarding and a contender in the halfpipe—despite the fact that late last year he crashed so badly he needed 62 stitches. Even if he doesn’t win, he’s worth $40 million, which will buy a lot of Mountain Dew Ice and legalized edibles.

8. Is that Bode Miller guy still around?

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No. Er, yes, but he’s now an NBC analyst. He’ll probably still figure out a way to clip a gate and crash.

9. Who is going to be the previously unknown U.S. darling of this Olympiad?

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Even after a poor start to his Olympics on Thursday night, 18-year-old figure skating prodigy Nathan Chen is your best bet to make it on a Wheaties box.

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10. The US Hockey team is not the Dream Team.

The Games have gone back to using non-NHL players for the first time since 1994. The U.S. team, made up mostly of washed-up former players like 39-year-old Brian Gionta, is not expected to medal.

11. Just like Ghostbusters, Cool Runnings is being remade with women.

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The Jamaicans sent a women’s team to compete in bobsled this year, and they’ll be driving a rental sled. Even if John Candy comes back from the dead to coach them, they are unlikely to make the podium. (Side note: The Montego Bay airport has a Cool Runnings-themed bar that plays the movie on a loop 24/7. Worth a visit!) Nigeria is also sending a women’s bobsled team to PyeongChang, making it the first African Olympic Team to compete in the sport.

12. Curling rules!

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Curlers wear blousey sweatshirts and ugly slacks and their sporting equipment is a damn broomstick. Yet somehow, this slow-moving sport is incredibly captivating and these curlers are still a ton more flexible than you are. Did you really think a bunch of Molson-guzzling Canadians would play something boring? Plus, for the first time, there’s “mixed doubles” curling this year.

13. Another cool first-time event is mass start speed skating.

It’s like a fucking roller derby on ice!

14. Yet the only event with guns is surprisingly boring.

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That’s biathlon. Cross-country ski for five kilometers, shoot a rifle at a still target, ski some more, shoot some more. So boring. Having said that, Susan Dunklee has a good shot to be the first U.S. Olympian to ever medal in the event.

15. Johnny Weir is still fabulous.

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The figure skating announcer is making Liberace look demure these days and continuing to infuriate the kinds of Twitter users who use Pepe the Frog as their avatar.

16. There’s an openly gay Olympian that refuses to meet Mike Pence.

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The vice president and his wife, Karen, are leading the US delegation in South Korea. Current US figure skater Adam Rippon, the first openly gay American to quality for the Games, made some remarks about Pence last month, telling USA Today: “You mean Mike Pence, the same Mike Pence that funded gay conversion therapy? I’m not buying it.” (The same Mike Pence who President Trump allegedly said wants to hang gay people.) Pence, however, really wants Rippon to know there’s no hard feelings.

.@Adaripp I want you to know we are FOR YOU. Don’t let fake news distract you. I am proud of you and ALL OF OUR GREAT athletes and my only hope for you and all of #TeamUSA is to bring home the gold. Go get ‘em!

— Vice President Mike Pence (@VP) February 8, 2018

17. The hunky Tongan is back.

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Remember Pita Taufatofua walking into the Rio 2016 Opening Ceremony looking like a bucket of Turtle Wax had been dumped over his torso? Well, guess what, he’s back for the Winter Games. He wasn’t particularly great at tae kwon do and he’s not particularly great at cross-country skiing either. As Tonga’s only Winter Olympian he was again their flag bearer and, even with temperatures below freezing in PyeongChang, he went shirtless. Don’t feel bad, he may have better abs, but in two weeks he’ll have the same numbers of Olympic medals as you.

18. The Olympic rivalry most likely to be made into an I, Tonya-like movie in 20 years.

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American Alpine skier Ted Ligety versus Austrian star Marcel Hirscher. Ligety got steamed when a giant slalom race, in Austria of all places, was canceled due to “inclement weather” (even though there wasn’t any) at the same time Hirscher was nursing an injury. Like any good American, Ligety went bonkers on Twitter, which is how we handle things these days as opposed to hiring mustachioed hitmen.

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Seems odd to have a race cancelled at 645am in Austria when their biggest star is temporarily out… 🤔

— Ted Ligety (@tedligety) October 29, 2017

19. No, the U.S. will not win the most overall medals.

Norway, Germany, or even Canada will. Yes, Trump will likely tweet-blame Democrats or undocumented immigrants for this, maybe both.

Aaron Goldfarb is the author of How to Fail: The Self-Hurt Guide, The Guide for a Single Man, and The Guide for a Single Woman. Follow him on Twitter.

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