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usagi-mitsu · 3 years

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Werlyt & Gaius - a bunch of thoughts.

I am a little late to the party. I know. But I just finished the Emerald weapon and before I go to try out the „not Zenos“ weapon as in „Diamond“, I need to get my thoughts on the story straight.

Perhaps I have been spoiled by 5.0s brilliant MSQ and cannot appreciate the inherent beauty of at least decent writing any longer. But this felt so wrong and out of tune with the rest of the game. I started writing this 2 hours ago! I wanted to one in bed by now! XD But I had to get it out of my system… so….

Spoilers for the MSQ and Werlyt incoming??? And no I did not re-read this so not just spoilers but also writing errors incoming. -.-

The good

These fights are epic! I have only ever cleared the normal versions, but I loved those. They are amazing. The callbacks to Eula (her being a woman here! When did they discover that???), Regula (may he rest in peace) and Gaius himself in his prime were delightful. But I could do with a little less rotating, ok? A dragoon has positional, you know? And being allowed to pilot my very own mecha was like *chefs kiss*. On that front? Well done Square Enix!

I am also glad they were able to get another use out of Porta Praetora! That place looks amazing with the wide open field and the lake – and Ala Mhigo across it. It was one of my favourite Stormblood areas and I am always glad to return there. And of course… being able to visit the allied camp again… And Werlyt itself. It’s simply a beautiful place. It reminds me very much of southern Greece. If you’ve watched the movie Mamma Mia you know what I mean.

The music too was really nice. But I don’t think I’ll… you know… listen to it on repeat as I am doing with other parts of the soundtrack.

I’ve also loved how much amazing lore we got about Garlemald and especially the garlean military. And the military abroad. The way soldiers not from the mainland get treated. I love learning about these things.

Gaius

The man. The legend. The guy yelling in Prae.

He’s so very boring here. He has so much potential as a character and maybe I’m missing something, but all throughout this story he has been nothing but passive. He’s a reactive character in this storyline. You know. The guy who made deals with Lahabread (the d is intended), tried to take over Eorzea, lead a whole army, stood idly by as the moon dropped, almost died but then decided just not to die and then though „hm… I’ve got so much freetime now. How about I go and hunt some ascians?“ That guy is NOT a reactive character. He is active. He goes out of his way to make shit he wants happen. And in here? He seems too starstruck and devastated by his adopted kids actions to actually have one clear thought.

The only explanation I have is that he might have gotten hit in the head by something on his way to the ruby weapon. I get why he would rely on Cid for help, but the WoL??? The alliance? If you wish to be an ally and help or something, fucking act like it. You were a former legatus and I expect you to live up to your name – even after retiring.

And yeah.. I guess it’s hard having to watch your kids willingly, knowingly dying. But you fucking raised them. You are a big part of the reason to why they are in that predicament. So like… Aside from that I don’t even get why you are in this story at all.

And for the record: I’m not sorry for him. I’m just flabbergasted by all the bullshit we’ve been learning about him.

To be quite honest, I think this story could have worked just as well or maybe even better, if we got another man as the „hero“ of the story. I am talking about none other than our engineering, hammer-swinging, ex-enemy - of course talking about Nero!

The MSQ has long established that his research into the Ultimate Weapon had been taken, twisted and turned – Estinien had to experience this first-hand. I’m not saying that Nero was in need of a redemption arc and I cannot remember if these weapons were of his creation or even stem from anything he did, but it would make so much more sense for me, to have him confront his past in the garlean military like this and be responsible for the death of his former colleagues. Soldiers that he served with, whom he faught with. Give me Nero and them working together to get the weapons going and him bonding with them as his pilots to a degree. Comrades. Not that strange familiar bond that Gaius appareantly has with them. … Scratch that: Let Gaius be the father figure. Him being that wouldn’t change Nero’s relationship with them, but maybe his with Gaius as his superior.

The story wouldn’t even need to try and redeem Nero: He has already gone through major character development with the MSQ and the Omega raid tier. It would simply be Nero, confronted with the things he created, hopefully instilling more morals and a sense of responsibility for his creations. Heck: Let Cid yell at the guy! Seriously! Cid sticking around to help out would make so much more sense if it was Nero instead of freaking Gaius! Cid hated the guy! He might be a professional, but he is not one to torture himself by staying around a guy he (as far as I know) detests.

Make Nero the central figure and give Cid and Gaius the roles of „angel and demon“: One desperately trying to reach out to his old friend, reminding him why they became engineers and trying to make him realise that he can’t just run around designing weapons and leaving the scematics for everyone to read; while the other has trouble letting go of his imperial past and is struggling to see the errors of his ways – if Nero was wrong, than he (Gaius) was wrong too -and of course they did all of this for their home, to further their cause, and to bring peace to the savage lands of Eorzea, who had been fighting amongst themselves for so long… You get the point.

And you could still have these gundam themed fights. But I think everything would make so much more sense in general.

But speaking of which-

The children

I do not truly care for any of them. And that is a shame: I do think there are great characters and dynamics hidden behind these very few cutscenes. When they were first introduced I was wondering why I was suddenly watching „heartwarming“ cutscenes of my foes as children – until I realised that I was supposed to care and that they were supposed to make me feel pity for Gaius. I was supposed to feel bad for him, because they died and he blames himself. But while their fates so far have been gruesome, I cannot say that I am sad they died. They chose to die as they did. There were a myriad more options. And they chose that.

Actually. Their whole story makes me feel like they were huge masochist from the very beginning. They could have just run away and gotten help from someone more competent than them, but they stayed in an abusive military arrangement just so nobody else got hurt?? Please. Use your brains next time. And for the Berserk-like torture scene? I mean. I get what was implied here. But was it necessary? As a writer myself I follow the rule that torture and sexual violence should never be used in a story, unless it must be in there for the story to work or to bring across a vital point important to the story or it’s moral (or if you are writing porn and you are into it – but we are talking official in-game content here). But the violence towards these „children“ seems unnecessary for the plot and the violence of their deaths by piloting the weapons is already gruesome enough. Sometimes it’s better to leave things like this out – the emotional torture of feeling stuck and having a martyrs complex would have been enough here, I think. If the rest of the story had been well written at least.

(I believe my utter lack of sympathy shows how little character developement they had. I love tragic characters, who choose to suffer for the good of other people – even better if those people don’t even like them. It’s just my thing. And those kids are just… well.)

Their reasons and especially why they were making Allie out as the one who would need to survive was also just… weird. Like. I feel like 75% of what happened would not have happened, if they actually talked to each other, used their brains and had done something about their problems. But no…

These characters are also so exchangeable with basic anime/j-RPG character tropes… I only remember Alfonse, Rex and Allie – because I just did the Emerald weapon. And right afterwards I thought, „huh. So… Fullmetal Alchemist?“ Which brings me to my third point …

…the story at large.

„Pacing is a virtue“ or was it patience..? Anyhow: The author of this story should have had more patience with his story and characters and taken a bloody break! And I am not talking about the obvious blunder of „How is Allie feeling?“, „she is in shock and you cannot talk to her“ turning to „oh yeah if you are careful you can talk to her now“. I mean. WTF. That was MAYBE 10-20 in-game minutes of dialogue.

But everything was moving so very fast – and not even in a good way. There are few things better than a fast paced, action rich story about a group of young people trying to safe (their) world. But if you try to cram in two expansions worth of character development and story telling into about two hours of content each patch.. Well, then you get whatever the hell this is.

Gaius is a very interesting character and while I did not understand why they needed to bring him back in 4.4 (?), I do see how he could be a good asset for endwalker. And his involvement in 5.0 with Estinien was just a dear delight. So I am not opposed to learning more about him, to watching his character grow and changed with time. But I am not ready for badly written content of which 50% get told by suddenly induced echo-sequences. I mean – weren’t there rules for the echo at some point???

I’m not sure which one of the devs said it, but the feature that let’s you play an NPC is super convenient for them to tell the story, because before they could only show what happened where the WoL was.

And that’s just it. Rule number 1 in writing anything is „Show don’t tell“. It feels like they literally turned this one around for these cutscenes. While Valens torture and diet-Fandaniel-routine were very much „show“, the rest of the story was one long cutscene of exposition: We get exposition by Cid, by Gaius, by echo, by Gaius and his crew again, then by Allie. Before having to watch scenes we are not there for.

BTW. Dear square Enix: Your writers are capable of writing amazing villains, antagonist and despicable assholes. You don’t have to write „asshole, must die“ on Valens name card. And I also think the „WoL, strike here“ sign above his head was a tad bit too much. Nuance, dear writers. Nuance. Or perhaps I just got spoiled by these last few foes in the MSQ.

When I said I wanted to just be able to punch a bad guy for once and not feel bad about it, I did not mean this! I meant that I just wanted to play training dummy with Danny-Boy.

(Oh! And as far as I’m concerned you can just… sideline Gaius … „would be killer“ and the lady? Make them targetable NPCs with Dialoge to read. Let them stand somewhere accessible and comment on the latest developement. But ffs don’t give me hour long speeches about how you are going to kill Gaius if he does something you don’t like. The guy could and would wipe the floor with you if he felt like it. -.- So. Please. Shut up.)

Conclusion

Basically. I have to finish the Diamond weapon. But I doubt it will change my perception of this story line even in the slightest.

To be perfectly honest though … bringing Gaius back, having this story with and about him, forcing a sort of redemption ark here. It feels like they are really „grooming“ him to be a morally grey ally in Endwalker, with perhaps a big part to play in the endgame. At this point I wouldn’t even be surprised if they pulled a GoT and made him „King in the North“. Or if they had him die a heroic death to save the world, but especially his country. And to do so they need us to think his sacrifice means something. Or that he is the right person to lead Garlemald into a new future (I don’t think he is). But: For one, neither we (the players) nor the characters need to find him worthy of throne or death by heroism for his sacrifice/ascension to work. To be a useful tool for the story, only the other garleans who might oppose the alliance and scions need to deem him or his sacrifice „worthy“. And only they. And Ishikawa-san has all of 6.0 to accomplish whatever the hell she needs him for. He did not need to be the center of his own botched redemption ark. If that’s what they wanted to do. Or maybe I’m looking at this all wrong and all they wanted was to give the writes in training some literal training grounds to test their abilities.

But! On a positive note: I have yet to be told that raids and other side content are canon to any degree. So when playing the next story quests I’ll blissfully ignore all that happened in Werlyt and if it get’s mentioned (because they do that sometimes when you’ve done certain content) I’ll just ignore it.

Happy ignoring! Also: GIVE ME MORE NERO CONTENT!

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everything-laito · 4 years

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HDB vs MB Laito + my opinions

There’s been a lot of opinions about Laito’s abrupt shift in his character between HDB and MB. I’m gonna break it down first, and then talk about it. Whole essay under the cut!

To begin with, let’s start with the contrasts between HDB and MB in general. This is a short list, there’s definitely more.

Laito’s route in Haunted Dark Bridal

Darker, isolating, focusing on the mysteries around Laito and le Sakamakis as a whole

Hints pretty heavily at Laito’s masochism

Voice drops and manic laughs and sadism galore

Stomach knotting content

Laito’s route in MB

Not as an isolating feeling; not as dark compared to HDB; different focus on Yui’s placement in the Sakamakis and now the Mukamis, along with some Karlheinz development. Focuses on interactions with the Mukamis as well in the plot scenarios

Laito? A masochist? Who is she???? Where’d she go??? She not here

Stomach knotting but more of “oh god what the fuck why” @ the toothbrush scene

Focuses on Laito’s perverseness; not as sadistic as he was, but still uses objects for,,, unconventional things

What they kept with both:

Laito’s poetic and cryptid phrases with double meanings

Laito’s lust vs love motifs; more prominent in MB

In Laito’s route in More Blood there isn’t an instance where you go into the dungeon (except in his brute route I think?)… Which is… interesting… Because he took you there a good handful of times in Haunted Dark Bridal. I found the fact that in HDB you RARELY saw any other of the brothers. I don’t even think you saw Shuu in that route aside from the prologue. That whole route was isolating, like I said, and that just added to the whole twisted experience. More Blood wasn’t as isolating; you saw Kou or mentioned Kou in the plot oriented scenarios.

I know More Blood focuses on the Mukamis too, whether you’re in a Sakamaki route or not. It also assumes a scenario where Yui didn’t choose any of the vampires like she did in HDB. She was just there, vibing. I did like how we got some Laito interactions with other characters, because that was barely a thing in HDB.

More Blood was a lot more traditionally fanservicey, in my opinion, compared to HDB. It was oddly calmer too, with rare Laito mood switches, except in the maniac portion where Laito became more thirsty for Yui’s blood. He was in a writhing, screaming mess. What I do like about More Blood is his development towards the end. But the first half of that game was… oddly fluffy, for Laito’s HDB brand he created.

We did see another side of Laito in MB; a side we’ve never seen. He was in a begging, craved state (even more so in his HDB flashbacks; dear god Hirarin can scream and cry). He was very poised and calculating in HDB. He was a predator, had walls that Yui couldn’t even break; cuz Laito broke Yui before any of that happened. In More Blood, he was desperate, and ended up not wanting to drink Yui’s blood because it just made it worse for him. He was in an utter state of confusion, which made him more susceptible to Reiji’s words and his paranoia of Kou stealing Yui.

As much as I don’t like Reiji as much (just a personal preference; don’t hurt me), I do like Reiji and Laito interactions, considering they contrast each other quite a bit (and it can be really funny and or constructive!). But Reiji was kinda done with Laito’s shit by the end and Yui ended up killing herself over it as a self sacrifice to Laito. Which was definitely different than her trying to kill herself in Haunted Dark Bridal. In HDB it was an act of escape, she hated Laito’s actions so much that she felt like that was her only choice (god that scene in HDB made my stomach shrink and invert). In More Blood, she had more of a positive (?) attachment to Laito compared to the HDB experience.

In contrast to HDB, MB had Laito’s walls broken down by Yui. Karlheinz was like “haha nope you’re not dying wtf” and we got a beautiful, tragic scene of Laito being confused by his own tears over Yui’s death; and her unlocking his heart. Something that was never possible for HDB Laito, since he broke Yui and had her right where he wanted. He could mold her to his every desire. (Yes, she’s a strong character, but her being broken by Laito doesn’t mean she’s weak. She’s a human, and is capable of neuroplasticity; a neurological concept that means the brain can be molded negatively and positively no matter whatever the person’s previous circumstances are).

More Blood Laito is kind of an antithesis to HDB Laito. We actually got a consensual sex scene at the end of ecstasy, which makes me cry every time. It was a really poetic scene; Laito guiding Yui through the process but Yui shows him the fuzzy wuzzies. (thanks to @/akuichansera for the translations as usual!)

Laito: So, love… …seems to be a good feeling of thing after all… …

I think… …you were asking to be loved.

Yui: … …Yeah… …it’s good. But, still.

Laito: Fufu… …I thought that Bitch-chan was saying so… ..It’s something you only know… …

But, I’m relieved… …to do things like this… …Nn… …

――Yui, only you.

As mentioned in my Hilde analysis, I was saying how he hated and rejected love, but grew to “like” it because he forced himself to just intake the physical pleasure. Which I do think is true to his HDB character as well. And in this quote in Ecstasy 10, it shows that he still likes pleasure (which he has to work on more of the emotional side, but hey, thats gradual development!) but has a positive correlation with it; which is that scene.

As for endings, his vampire ending was meh in my opinion as for Laito endings. It was cute, him trying out cute couple things, but it was too cheesy for my taste LOL, idk it was a weak ending too but that might just be me.

I know people are mad or disappointed by Laito’s fluffier character in MB. And I’m not exactly mad, because the events in MB make Laito less calculating and more erratic and emotional (because he’s craved with thirst). Which I like seeing that new side of him. Sure I like the dark sadism stuff in HDB and I will miss HDB Laito, but I do love seeing this man develop! One thing I hate more than writing abruptly changing for the audience cuz of business related things, is just having a stoic character. I still think he’s Dialover’s most complex character, even if they made him and the other boys less dark.

Thanks for reading as always! Feel free to add on if you’d like! -Corn

#laito sakamaki #sakamaki laito #sakamaki raito #raito sakamaki #dialovers #diabolik lovers #dialover #analysis #kernels #逆巻ライト #diabolik lovers analysis

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spainkitty · 4 years

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TGCF Story Arcs Least to Most Favorite Part 2/3

Part 1 / Part 3 (not yet)

This is the start of a lot of POSITIVE “reviews” on the Story Arcs. I'm going to get more and more excited as I go (part 3/3, I'll be going absolutely feral.) See also, previous disclaimer

#7- Brocade Immortal: Firstly, Ling Wen. We get a big taste of just how cunning and sharp and ruthless she is. I ADORE this *drowns in my respect ALL women juice* More Ling Wen is such a good thing. More MORE please! Some people may call her a villain, and I say, you are WRONG. Antagonist? Sure! Villain? Naaaah. I respect every decision she made. Chop a motherf/cker up, LW, I’ll still stan. Also, we get to see Xie Lian actually act as clever as he really is when he figures out just what Ling Wen is up to and notices things I definitely did not notice (this is not hard, though, because I never guess plot twists or whodunnits, but I still give him clever points). I live for those moments, just as much as I live for each saucy little remark he makes in his mind.

And, of course, the arrival of Quan Yizhen and SHIXIONG YinYu. QYz amused me to death. Stuffing gold bars in boxes, attacking things the moment his eyes open while he's still half dead, eagerly becoming a sword !for funsies!, going down to earth to ATTACK HIS OWN FOLLOWERS WHO LEGIT PRAISE HIM MORE. The fact all his followers are giant masochists had me ROLLING when I read that. Amazing. Yin Yu, though, and his Feng Xin-lite subordinate, that whole story just made me so friggin sad. I warmed up to QYz, and he’s amusing, like I said, but I ADORE Yin Yu. The fact his arc ended the way it did... it was... poetical in that most tragic way. He deserved better, but his arc still didn’t feel gratuitous. It was a sad that it fit him so well. Absolutely devastating (but in a really really good way? as much as I hated it!? do ya feel me?)

A lot of this story arc is super convoluted, and having two mirroring Brocade Immortal arcs made it more so. It kept getting broken up and spread out in between other non-related arcs (something mxtx does on purpose, I see you, but it still makes it hard to keep track), and it's actually... kinda unresolved for Ling Wen, at least. like most female arcs We never get the full story from Ling Wen (which I actually kinda respect, keep those cards close, don't let them have power over you!). And it's a little unsatisfying when so much else is resolved to the nth degree in giant expositions. I wish we had seen more of what actually happened to Ling Wen and Bai Jing.

#6- Ghost Bride: Not much really happens, which is why it’s so low. But. It’s still the FIRST arc! It has the most AMAZING introductions for every main character, but ESPECIALLY for Xie Lian and Hua Cheng (oh damn Hua Cheng’s intro, I am shaking about tomorrow, y’all). And, of course, it has the most iconic scene of the whole damn story: the Wedding Walk. The blood rain, the wedding clothes, the jingling chains, the red umbrella, the BUTTERFLIES, and the creepy child laughter in the dark scary forest. I just. Fucking chills. Cons? A-Ying deserves better than the utter LAMBASTING mxtx gave her for being “ugly”. Like the sheer amount of descriptions of how ugly this poor, soon-to-be-dead girl had tacked onto her the entire time + in dialogue. Just. Please, mxtx, let me help you: *shoves respect all women juice down her throat while crying* please love girls more, please.

#5- Ghost City: This arc made me dislike LQQ, in like the “hard eyeroll, it’s THIS guy” kind of way. I’m not a big fan of idiots who think only in black and white and i’m-holier-than-thou ways. One of the reasons I struggled with Dianxia was because of his naive optimism (then book 4 hits like a sledgehammer). You’re not superior, LQQ, you’re just an idiot who’s gonna get killed, or get other people killed. But. But I love Ghost City. mxtx’s strength definitely lies in her world-building, at least here in tgcf. Ghost City is both disgusting and glamorous. The sleezy unreal shine of it, the ghosts and demons, the intro of Lan Chang!, Shi Qingxuan being fem and PERFECT, the intro of MingYi! The mystery of just why Ming Yi was there, how he got caught, how he set off the fireworks! So many arcs foreshadowed/started! The ROLLING DICE!!!! Hua Cheng being so. fucking. funny. in the gambling house. HC,to XL-gege: here, let me teach you how to roll dice Everyone else: you can’t “teach” someone how to roll dice, that’s the dumbest- HC, with only his smirk: I FUCKING SAID- Everyone: MASTER IS SO CLEVER, THE MOST CLEVER, WOW, DAZZLING, IT’S ACTUALLY A REAL THING *sweating profusely as XL keeps winning* This only would make this arc amazing, LOL. But then... the scene. In the HC’s palace. In the weapon room that HC casually brought XL to, with (as my bff pointed out) Beast bringing Belle to the library vibes. and then XL finally showing, just a TAD, how much of a badass he is and the beginning of more of his past leaking through the story. yes yes yes. give me more. (I mean we’ve seen a bit, but this scene. THIS SCENE SLAPS, OKAY)

#4- Mount Tong'lu: This should’ve been the climax. It was amazing. The return of some of the best (YUSHI HUANG!!!!! BANYUE?! *insert beyonce?! meme* poor, food-poisoned Pei Su (the only str8 rep we need in 2020), FENG XIN) and worst (*squint at Qi Rong and Pei Ming and Mu Qing*) characters. The slow and excruciating Wulong Kingdom reveal. The perfectly executed fake out (“Am *I* the reincarnated prince?!” Me: GASP R U, DIANXIA!? I am absolutely convinced, too!). The plot twists. The CAVE OF 10FUCKING000 STATUES. THE RATED X ART THAT SAD, LONELY, BESOTTED HUA CHENG MADE THAT HAD FENG XIN AND MU QING FOAMING. also, just everything Hua Cheng put Feng Xin and Mu Qing through was hilarious as fuck and I did like the genuine bromance between Feng Xin and Xie Lian. BAI WUXIANG’S FUCKERY. THE RED HERRING GUOSHI CONVERSATION IN THE MOUNTAIN. Also, did anyone else think that Xie Lian was basically Bai Wuxiang’s horcrux?!?! lololol

The. fucking. HUG. AND CONFESSION!? Was it technically a confession? Look, it gave me all the doki doki feels of a confession, so THAT’S WHAT IT IS.

THE FINAL. PLOT. TWIST. OF. JUN. WU. I literally gasped out loud when it happened. I almost screamed. It was PERFECT.

Look, I love Shi Qingxuan, but the only point of the “Final Arc” was introducing SQX back in, imo. Everything else was dragging out the climax into a resolution with the worst pacing, and just repeated the giant HEARTWRENCHING scene of Book 4. We did not need another Wuming, okay? that shit hurted, stop this. The circle of homeless people and ... whoever that Mind’s Eye or whathaveyou guy’s group getting together to prove that appearance and social stature don’t matter, anyone can save the world (for chicken) was... nice? But unnecessary. Mt. Tong’lu should’ve been the final confrontation with White NoFace. Or maybe the Many Face Disease could’ve been a spell that triggered at his death? And that could’ve been the falling action into resolution rather than the imprisonment and dragging on that happened? I dunno, I’ll have to re-read again, since a few story arcs WERE resolved in the Final Arc that were necessary (Yin Yu </3), but I’m sticking to my opinion that Mt Tong’lu should’ve been the true final arc and climax, and the actual Final Arc was slow and clunky and ruined the absolute HIGH of Mt. Tong’lu. Which was perfect. 10/10 experience.

#tgcf #long post #tian guan ci fu #novel #the DONGHUA COMES OUT TOMORROW #SO HERE'S ME MOSTLY NOT BITCHING #Story Arc Discussion Part 2 #kitty babbles

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takaraphoenix · 4 years

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Buffy dir the ask Game

Aaah! *^* Thanks for asking, I had hoped that may come up! xD

Answers under the cut though, because this turned into... literally 3k words worth of fangirl rambling. That’s what happens when you make me talk about the things I love the most. *ducks head*

Top 5 favourite characters: Spike, Buffy Summers, Willow Rosenberg, Xander Harris, Rupert Giles

Other characters you like: let’s make that five more then! Daniel Osbourne, Andrew Wells, Cordelia Chase, Anya Jenkins, Drusilla

Least favourite characters:Dawn Summers by a landslide

Otps: Spike/Buffy, Tara/Being Alive, Willow/Tara, Xander/Cordelia, Xander/Anya, Giles/Joyce (I always wanted Giles to become Buffy’s dad, officially and legally ;-;), Cordelia/Buffy, Giles/Spike, Oz/Andrew (LISTEN, I love Oz, I hate that he left and only came back once to see his girlfriend his now a lesbian. I wanted him to return for good and I wanted Andrew to be explicitely gay and not just Word Of God gay)

Notps: Xander/Dawn - like, her crush on him was cute and all, but that season 8 really had to make THAT canon was… not necessary… Also Giles/Buffy is really the only Hard No ship I’ve encountered in this fandom, otherwise even when I don’t vibe with a ship, it’s more a shrug and keep scrolling

Favourite friendships: THE GOLDEN TRIO. Xander-Willow-Buffy. I love them

Favourite family:The friends we found along the way. Seriously, the Scooby-gang absolutely counts as a family. Joyce and Giles are the parents, Xander and Willow (who supposedly have parents but we never meet them and they don’t seem to care much) are as much a part of this family as Buffy ;^;

Favourite episodes: HAH! The one show where I can actually name them, without having to cross-check what the episodes are called and what happens where! xD

Once More With Feeling: clearly. IT’S A MUSICAL EPISODE. And it is so good. The singing is so good. I immediately bought the soundtrack and I listened to it on a loop for months. Then the content! The Spuffy is so good, the Buffy angst, everyone gets an adorable moment and then that ending that kills me

Tabula Rasa: I love this episode. It is so whacky but again also with angst, because that Willow/Tara is murderous

The Body: I mean, in a masochistic kind of way do I love this episode. It is… it is so heartbreaking. I’ve seen it like twelve times now and I still cry every single time. How vulnerable Buffy is, the Tara-Buffy friendship, Anya has one of my favorite moments when she confronts what death means. This episode is an absolute sucker-punch

Favourite season/book/movie: Season 6, hands down. Other TV shows always try to one-up it - so they fought demons in season 1, how about they fight SATAN HIMSELF in season 3? The escalation is very rapid in most supernatural shows nowadays. That Buffy took a step back and spent essentially a whole season on character development and friendships and human issues? Also two of my favorite episodes happen in this season, so that makes it all the more special to me!

Favourite quotes:Okay, so, full disclosure I love the musical episode but I listened to Rest in Peace THE MOST. And the lines “I died so many years ago, you can make me feel like it isn’t so” just completely wrecks me. Like, there’s a whole lot of memorable quips in this show and the line “I’m the thing that monsters have nightmares about” is ALSO absolutely outstanding

Best musical moment: When Buffy says “I think I was in heaven”, just the way her voice breaks, the reaction on everybody’s face? This silly musical just outed her biggest secret, the thing that’s going to hurt everyone around her with guilt and the thing that’s wrecking her life. That moment is so good

Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: William Pratt. Getting explicit flashbacks to flesh out Spike’s past, to meet the man he used to be and see what he was like. Also genuinely every any flashback about the Fanged Four. This is something I KEEP yelling about in all the supernatural genre shows - if you have centuries old characters then USE THAT. Show me their past! Seriously the wasted potential of flashbacks around Magnus Bane on Shadowhunters is downright insulting. But Buffy? Every time it explored more, showed me more, I fangirled so hard. Also genuinely when Buffy slept with Satsu in season 8 - like, I know there were no grand romantic feelings but Buffy Summers had sex with a woman and… c’mon, Buffy’s not 100% straight, she just isn’t, I stand by bi!Buffy

When it really disappointed you:When some greedy asshat decided to do a comic reboot and retcon Willow into being Out And Proud in high school and be Gay All Along. Fuck. You. Like, yeah, sure, obviously am I all for out and proud teenage rep! But not at the cost of erasing existing rep! Not when it’s a retcon that actively erases an “I took longer to realize my feelings and be true to myself” lesbian, because those exist and are valid and deserve to be seen too and by retconning her into being out in high school, instead of having boyfriends in high school and only coming to terms when she is in college and actually MEETS her first lesbian to realize that this could be her truth, by doing that, you’re effectively sending the message that only Gold Star Lesbians are valid and genuinely fuck you for doing this. Also, from what I’ve heard that comic reboot effectively erased Drusilla’s insanity and victimhood to have her be an evil mastermind villain and… no… that’s not the character anymore then; a huge point of Drusilla was that she was a victim, most specifically Angel’s victim, that he broke her completely so we can see the bad and depth of Angelus’ worst days, it’s important for the plot even if it makes you uncomfortable to see a woman be a victim, in her case her victimhood and her insanity are literally what make her her. You just created a new character. There is some really wrong SJW bullshit going on in there and it’s dumb. If you wanna tell new stories, do that. But don’t take this existing beautiful story and slaughter it for your own whims what the fuck, I genuinely loathe that this comic exists and I’m glad that the TV show thing is going to be a spin-off sequel and not an actual reboot because don’t fucking reboot Buffy

Saddest moment: Joyce’s death, definitely. But also when Giles decides to leave, that breaks my heart every time

Most well done character death:ALSO Joyce’s death

Favourite guest star: I… really don’t know, like I don’t know who’d count as just guest, when looking at the cast list most the ones I would have said are technically recurring characters and then it’s also not really asking for the character but the actor, huh? Retrospectively probably Wentworth Miller, because he has become an actor I like a lot so seeing smol!Wentworth in Buffy is adorable

Favourite cast member: James Marsters. If tumblr existed back when Buffy first aired, all my Dominic Sherwood obsession could be fully translated onto him. He was one of my three first actor obsessions and he still remains that, to this day

Character you wish was still alive: ANYA. There was no need to kill Anya off in the finale, I wish season 8 could have had that happy, good Xander/Anya content… ;-;

One thing you hope really happens: I am so excited and afraid of the sequel spin-off. That could be so great (or a disaster and that’s the part that frightens me), but what REALLY needs to happen is that Sarah Michelle Gellar guest stars. Of course not as a regular, it is supposed to be about a new slayer. But I need them to then also acknowledge what has been before. Maybe others could guest star too, cameo occasionally (though it would be hilarious if Andrew was a regular and like a… guide to the new kid). Ideally, I would get to see every Scooby at least once in this spin-off but what really needs to happen is that Buffy Summers appears in it

Most shocking twist: When they killed off Buffy… and there was another season. Like. This was pre “everybody dies and is frequently brought back from the dead, death doesn’t stick” TV era (actually, it is the mother of that trope, really), so that was… really a shocker.

When did you start watching/reading?: Ironically, during my least favorite season. Season 4. The initiative was the most bland and obnoxious plotline, Riley/Buffy is a ship I really don’t dig and I was a teen so American college was Weird And Confusing and also uninteresting. However, I had been DYING to watch that show for three years and been deemed too young to watch it so it was really exciting that my mom finally allowed me and also I WAS right on time for the lesbian coming out and that still to this day blows my mind because Willow and Tara were the first lesbians I got to see on TV and it still means the world to me. I then got caught up on reruns, watching the first three seasons, but even on rewatchs, plot-wise season 4 is the weakest for me

Best animal/creature: Miss Kitty Fantastico, by default? xD I think she is the only animal in the whole series… and she just kind of… disappeared too ôÔ°°°

Favourite location: THE LIBRARY I LOVE THE LIBRARY SO MUCH

Trope you wish they would stop using: Mmmh… I… I mean, when rewatching this as an adult, I gotta admit the early Angel/Buffy is very uncomfortable. Back when I was Buffy’s age and younger I thought it was the coolest thing that this vampire loved this teenage girl, but as an adult I have come to re-evaluate all the 16/17 year old girl getting together with a 100+ year old vampire because that most definitely is a very concerning age-gap and… not necessary. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll always also hold love for them because I loved them back when I first watched it too and I think they have a fascinating and epic tragic romance, but… media’s gotta stop pushing the idea that centuries old immortals find high school kids romantically and sexually attractive; it’s not a good look

One thing this show/book/film does better than others: Clearly sell me on the canon romance, if you look at my list of OTPs where nearly all of them are canon. Also THIS IS PROPER FOUND FAMILY YO. I’m so tired of shows pretending to be “the team is a family” and then it’s all just deceite and distrust and miscommunication and tragic. AND where this show 100% outdoes… literally everything else I have ever read and watched is the mental health. Buffy died and came back from the dead and instead of just shrugging it off and doing business as usual, we spent a whole season on her depression and dealing with the aftermath of it. Same goes for Willow and her grief over Tara and her addiction. Bad things happen to the characters and it’s not just used as a cheap ploy for more drama, they have ramifications and are being dealt with.

Funniest moments: When Tabula Rasa made everyone assume new identities and everyone thought Giles was Anya’s sugar daddy and Spike’s actual father? Also the time that Giles kept himself a pet-Spike in his home because no one trusted Spike yet (reasonably so). And honestly, countless more - this is one of the funniest shows I ever watched, the quips and one-liners are absolute killers.

Couple you would like to see: Huh. Can I go really vague and say that I would like to see a wlw couple with at least one lesbian in the spin-off sequel? Like, obviously do I hope that this new iterations brings more rep to the table - LGBT as well as POC because if I have to admit one flaw in my favorite show then that it’s very 90s white - but even among that, I really hope there will be at least one lesbian character, who gets to have an on-screen romance

Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: As mentioned above, I hope Sarah Michelle Gellar and others join the cast at the very least as guest stars.

Admittedly, I also would murder to see Dominic Sherwood play a vampire on this new show.

Those two would be the ones I’d love to see join the cast. However, I kind of got lost in an entire fan-cast here, so have my pitch for what I’d love the spin-off’s cast to look like. I have no idea what age-range it’s going to be though. Probably teenagers again, but I kind of hope early to mid twenties.

My dream cast, which isn’t going to happen because she already has a lead role in a TV show so she’s too busy, but I’d LOVE to see China Anne McClain as the new slayer.

And, okay I admit this is Marvel based type-casting, but I’d LOVE to see Lyrica Okano as the witch friend (the group needs a witch friend).

Sarah Jeffery for the Cordelia-type role. The bitchy cheerleader - but she’s actualy a closeted lesbian who joins the team when she accepts her own identity and befriends the group.

It’s probably also type casting to make David Castro play another brooding vampire, but listen he’s about the same age as China and he would give off good Angel vibes to her Slayer?

Jane Lynch as the Watcher. But not a soft dad like Giles, more the grumpy, annoyed mom who now has all those irritating children running after her even though she is just trying to teach her charge how to be a Slayer.

Favourite outfit: EVIL DOPPELGÄNGER WILLOW’S VAMPIRE DOMINATRIX OUTFIT *^*

Favourite item: I love the dumb axe. Like, I think it looks WAY too modern to be this ancient tool, but dang it’s pretty

Do you own anything related to this show/book/film?: my phone-case, all seasons on DVD, the soundtrack of the musical episode on CD, I probably still got my old bedsheets somewhere. I do wish I had more merch, in a different time I probably would have spent all my money on Buffy figures, but those weren’t available way back when and now that I have access to the internet’s treasure-hunting-sites, I… have learned to… mostly… manage my money better than mindlessly buy merch (though if Funko Pop finishes that… Rock Candy series with all the main characters, I will definitely buy those. As it stands, there’s only Willow and Buffy available right now…)

What house/team/group/friendship group/family/race etc would you be in?: I would definitely not be a slayer. Maybe a witch??

Most boring plotline: The initiative. Seriously. I’m HARD anti military and this bullshit of college soldiers policing the supernatural world was… boring and weird. Got even weirder when it turned into Frankenstein at the end

Most laughably bad moment: ooof that puppet episodes had quite some intentionally cringey moments

Best flashback/flashfoward if any: ALL OF THEM. NOT A SINGLE NOT GOOD FLASHBACK THERE. GIVE ME ALL OF THE PAST

Most layered character: Spike. Fight me on that. Seriously, his past as a human, as a vampire, his present, his will to gain a soul, his dynamics with all the Scoobies, I love him. To be fair, Buffy is also the most layered character though

Most one dimensional character:huuuh… Dawn? I mean, seriously she is just every teen angst trope crammed into one, with zero tolerance for what the only slightly older adults may be going through, they even made her shoplift for attention, I swear she could have only been more of a cringey teen trope if she also Cut For Attention… -___- Like. She… She got slightly better with time, but out of all these multi-facetted characters, she is definitely the flattest

Scariest moment: Puppets creep me out so the puppet episode was definitely scary for me. Also the Silence I mean damn that was an amazing episode but it was creepy as fuck

Grossest moment: mh… I can’t think of one, really. I’m unsure if there were any really gross moments

Best looking male: Spike!

Best looking female: Doppelgänger Willow. Don’t judge me. Also Evil Willow. Okay you can judge me a little

Who you’re crushing on (if any): Never really had a crush on any of the characters

Favourite cast moment: That was… pre-internet times, we didn’t get immediately swamped by posts and videos and photos of the cast, there was very little access to these things so I was never really exposed to that

Favourite transportation: THE RV. I loved when they were on the run for half an episode and just all lived in an RV together :D”““

Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): I really don’t know

Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you:It’s a very well-rounded series and I was never actually left with major questions

Best promo: The best promo it had was running in our living room so I could carefully sneak a peek when going to bed and thus want to watch the show :D”

At what point did you fall in love with this show/book: When Willow/Tara happened. I didn’t even know that I’m a lesbian back then. I was like 10 back then. This was literally the first time I saw two women be together. Back then I didn’t know what about it amazed me so much. Cue in 12 year old Phoe slowly realizing “oooh I’m a lesbian that’s why the lesbians spoke to me”. But yeah, being the first show to show me lesbians exist, that was when I fell in love and then I got to watch the whole show and it is just such a perfect show that it was impossible not to love it

IN DEPTH FANDOM QUESTIONS

#Buffy the Vampire Slayer #In-Depth Fandom Ask Game #send me asks #Anonymous

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diveronarpg · 6 years

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Congratulations, RICCI! You’ve been accepted for the role of MACBETH. Admin Rosey: How is it possible that you had me laughing and crying in the same breath? You went from “... he’s a sad, kinda pathetic, almost self-sabotaging man who can’t enjoy the fruits of his own cruel ambition” to describing him as a Scottom (please read the app to figure out what that is). But you didn’t stop there, no, you added a whole layer to his backround that had me grinning from ear to ear. There is no other person I could possibly trust more to take up our beloved Mikael and do him justice. Please read over the checklist and send in your blog within 24 hours.

WELCOME TO THE MOB.

Out of Character Alias | Ricci

Age | Nineteen

Preferred Pronouns | she/ her

Activity Level | I don’t think I can be active everyday — I’m a super slow writer and am busy with college, but don’t doubt my ability to dedicate myself to a good RP. I won’t be on often, but I promise to be consistent, and I strive for quality whenever I do have the time to write. Overall, I’d say 6-7 out of 10 depending on my workload!

Timezone | GMT+8

Current/Past RP Accounts | wariest.tumblr.com & disquieters.tumblr.com

In Character Character

♚ Macbeth

What drew you to this character?

♚ Stage actors HATE him. Whenever I write men, one of my favourite aspects of their character is their relationship with masculinity, and I think I have Macbeth to blame for that, or at least partially. I’ve loved his story ever since I read it at fourteen, — and the questions that come with Macbeth’s tragic development are some I carry with when I write male characters, namely: what happens to men when you tie their worth to their masculinity, and what happens when society has tied masculinity to cruelty, violence, and power? I see Mikael as someone that could have been good, because at his core he knows what is right, but because of his insecurities, and because and the environment he grew up in, he ignores his conscience in favor of attaining power. I love morally grey characters. Macbeth isn’t a mustache twirling villain that revels in his own crimes, he’s a sad, kinda pathetic, almost self-sabotaging man who can’t enjoy the fruits of his own cruel ambition. He’s someone who is very aware of his own atrociousness and feels bad about it, but despite his guilt, never once strives toward self-improvement, and while that doesn’t make him wholly redeemable, self-awareness without change is an ugliness that’s jarringly recognizable, an ugliness that I want to explore further. His actions are so monstrous, but his motivations are so incredibly human.

What is a future plot idea you have in mind for the character?

♚ SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES: I want Mikael’s development to follow Macbeth’s and take him from mildness and reluctance to full-on ruthless ambition. I think part of the reason why Mikael has remained a soldier is because he has yet to prove he’s capable of real cruelty — his businesses make a lot of profit, but making money hasn’t quite tested his loyalty and how far he’s actually willing to go for the Capulets ( or for his own ambition ), and thus his morals have yet to be challenged. But his capacity for monstrosity is as immense as his capacity for greatness, and with unchecked ambition, he might abandon his conscience and soon become a more threatening player in the games. If an unhinged Macbeth can slaughter a man’s entire family, so can Mikael.

I think for now he’ll want to finally start doing more for the mob because with Alvise’s death, tensions are rising and soldiers like Mikael are expendable. Paranoia will drive him to want protection, for which Mikael will do horrifying acts to attain, and with every triumph, he’ll learn care less about loyalty and more about his own power and individual potential.

Mikael absolutely despises himself, and ambition he sets out to achieve exists because he thinks accomplishing goals would make him hate himself less. Except as his actions stain his conscience, the opposite happens, and with the extreme amounts of self-loathing he’ll soon possess, his mental health will deteriorate, making him increasingly erratic and unstable.

♚ SOUND AND FURY, SIGNIFYING NOTHING: Macbeth is a paradox — his constant attempts at chasing fulfillment only serve to make him feel emptier. In the same way, Mikael exists in a default state of hunger, so unused to being satisfied that he always finds something else to chase after once he attains what he originally wanted. Nothing he does can assuage the feeling of emptiness. After committing more and more atrocities he may come to the realization that he’s the problem — that perhaps nothing will ever make him happy. Once he gets everything he wants, I think he’ll resign to nihilism and come to terms with the meaninglessness of existence.

♚ THE INNOCENT FLOWER: I want to see someone act as a sort of morality pet. Whether actively or by just being themselves, this character will remind Mikael of the existing good in him, and he will want to change for them. Of course, change, for Mikael, will be short-lived, because in the cutthroat world of mobster Verona, people might place less value on morality, and ultimately Mikael will keep choosing uglier paths to further his own ambitions. ♚ THE SERPENT UNDER’T: In the original text, Macbeth’s nihilistic outlook is finally revealed after Lady Macbeth dies, so perhaps, in this universe, Mikael truly sees no meaning in anything— except his wife. Though he won’t admit it, and maybe he doesn’t realize it, but he’s wholly dependent on her “love” to feel like life has value. Lucrezia is another one of Mikael’s attempts at chasing fulfillment; he thinks he’ll stop hating himself if he can get someone so unattainable to love him, which it why it maddens him that she doesn’t. He wants her with all the desperation of Arctic Monkeys song, but none of the dignity. He pours all of his devotion to her in hopes that he might get something in return, and though part of him understands that all his efforts are pathetic and fruitless, his desire for Lucrezia’s love and approval transcends all reason. Mikael constantly shaping himself into a man Lucrezia might like, or the man Lucrezia wants him to be.

At the same time, wanting Lucrezia is a testament to Mikael’s own masochism. Mikael is never satisfied, so in a twisted way, having someone who never gives in to what he wants is perfect for him, and it’s possibly why they’ve lasted so long. It’s apparent that he’s not enough for her, but he’ll never stop trying to be.

Their relationship is just so unhealthy and damaging on his end, and it’s mostly Mikael’s own fault for putting her on a pedestal and placing so many expectations on her that he at least partially knows she’ll never fulfill. All I really want to explore is what lengths he’s willing to go to get her to stay, especially now that there’s a deeper wedge and newfound tensions between them with Lucrezia having been promoted to emissary. There are so many directions for their dysfunctional marriage to go and I’m willing to explore all the possibilities. He’s already ruined, but keep ruining him!

♚ MY BLACK AND DEEP DESIRES: The old-fashioned monogamist fool he is, Mikael has never considered cheating on his wife. Except things have changed now, and for as much as he denies it, his marriage is failing. He’s empty, and when he comes to terms with the fact that his wife may never really love him, he’ll find some other way to assuage his deep loneliness, stray to the path of infidelity and disrupt the dynamic the Falcos have, for years, maintained.

♚ THE WAY TO DUSTY DEATH ( trigger warnings: drug abuse ): Mikael’s fall is inevitable. It’s less question of if and more a question of how. Being as overworked as he is, and as desperate for fulfillment, and with his future actions potentially damaging his pysche, Mikael is extremely susceptible to drug addiction. At the moment, he still carries much self-control, but in the future with his increasing nihilism and self-hatred he might just crumble — more so if someone finds that weakness and exploits it.

♚ BE BLOODY, BOLD, AND RESOLUTE: Being the absolute masochist he is, as a teenager and young adult, Mikael would frequent Measure for Measure for a taste of thrill and triumph. He frequents it less now that he’s older and married and working full time, but part of him still craves being in the ring. With all that stress and anger, who can blame him?

Are you comfortable with killing off your character?

♚ None of woman born shall harm Macbeth. ( Just kidding, yes, but it would be preferable to have someone born of C-section kill him just because it would be so FUNNY. )

In Depth

( trigger warnings: violence )

What is your favorite place in Verona?

Mikael knit his brows together. “What the hell is this for? Buzzfeed” Dark rings hung around tired eyes, which locked their gaze onto the journalist, betraying both exhaustion and annoyance. “When you told me this was for an article, I didn’t realize you were writing Top Ten Travel Destinations For the Overworked Italian,” he snapped, voice high and honeyed with derision. “Okay, edit that out. Try to make sure I don’t sound like a goddamn elementary student. I know I’m not Winston Churchill, but I can pay you good money to make me sound like I am. You’re a writer, you can do that, right?” A sigh escaped him. Mikael rested his elbows on the surface of his desk and hung his head low, thumbs massaging his temples. “I need coffee.”

What does your typical day look like?

“I get up,” he said, ripping open a sachet of Nescafe. “I jack myself stupid.” A surge of self-hatred shot through him as he poured hot water into the lid of his thermos. No sensible Italian would continue to respect Mikael if they discovered his liking to instant coffee, but single-handedly running a corporation left Mikael very little time for himself, much less time to brew himself his own cappuccino. Thus, begrudgingly, he took the sachet and dumped its content straight into the cup, but not before catching his own slip of tongue.

Mikael ran his hands through his hair, frustration simmering within. He sighed to himself. “Sorry, that was just the first thing that came into my head. I don’t know how to be alive before ten in the morning.” Dark eyes fell to the paperwork before him, and Mikael sighed, already resentful at the amount of work that needed to be done. Mikael set the thermos lid aside, barely noticing how it lay almost perilously close to the edge of his desk. “I go to the office, make some calls, keep track of the progress of my transactions, check Cawdor Industries’ stock market value, read some articles about bitcoin to try and understand what the in God’s name a blockchain is, make some more transactions, go home, jack myself stupid because satisfying primal human instincts is the only shriveled flower of joy remaining in life — don’t put that in the article — and then I tell my wife I love her, and wait for her to not say it back.” For a second, his eyes gleamed with a silent sort of wistfulness, but as he locked his gaze onto the journalist’s, their usual deadness returned. “It’s our thing.”

What has been your biggest mistake thus far?

“Allowing myself to get ejected from the womb,” he deadpanned. “Everything’s gone a little downhill from there.”

Mistakes? Every day was a constant cycle of second-guessing and self-doubt. He’d couldn’t make a single decision without hindsight telling him he could have chosen a better path. Vacant eyes glanced over to the side of his desk, where Lucrezia’s photo sat, and Mikael’s heart rose to his throat. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful. I got to go to college. I made a name for myself. The business is booming, and I’m married. I have a wife, yes, she’s a real person, and yes, maybe it’s hard to believe but a human female woman took a look at me and agreed to live with my pathetic ass, and according to the law and what she said at the altar, she’s supposed to be in love with me. Sort of. So that’s going great. I’m grateful. I just don’t think I’m…” Happy.

Misfortune gripped the moment within a split second — as Mikael leaned over to reach for the photograph, his elbow struck the metal thermos and knocked it over, scalding water spilling from its mouth. “SON OF A BITCH — ” Mikael rose from his seat, sending the swivel chair sliding outward, and as fury overtook him, his leg swung forward to kick the side of his desk, but as his foot collided with wood, the thermos lid toppled from the surface and spilt Mikael’s instant coffee onto his velvet office chair.

Almost all at once, his feature cycled through every existing expression, every existing emotion. Grief. Frustration. Resignation. Mikael palmed his forehead. “I’ll send you an email when my shit brain finds a better answer.”

What has been the most difficult task asked of you?

It was possible to believe that Mikael was as honest as he was crass. But his apparent tactlessness drew one’s attention away from much realer vulgarities: the truths Mikael kept within. Kneeling before his office chair, he took a wet rag and scrubbed at the stubborn coffee stain. Not meeting the journalist’s gaze, he mumbled, “Hell if I know.”

Everything was difficult. If anything worthwhile came easy, nothing would feel rewarding. The Falcos had clawed their way into the top, not resting for even a single second. And Cawdor Industries was born of their strife and struggle, but Mikael didn’t feel right merely inheriting it. No path felt valid if it hadn’t come with hardship; he moved mountains to turn the business what it was today. His parents gave him a kingdom. Mikael built an empire.

Except it had been thirty years and Mikael had yet to know what rewarding should have felt like. Every accomplishment only lent him a fleeting sense of triumph, and the satisfaction was quick to dissipate. What remained, instead, was poison. Cawdor Industries didn’t just design weapons — it sold them, less often legitimately than not, and most of the time, Mikael had turned a blind eye on all the casualties his business caused. Until he couldn’t.

Once, he could not recall how long ago, an anonymous sender delivered a video into Mikael’s inbox. It was apparent at first sight that it came from a protester, one that didn’t agree with Mikael’s line of work. At times, Mikael wished he had stopped himself from going further once that realization had been made, but curiosity was a hunger that begged to be sated.

“The most difficult task?” Mikael laughed, low and derisive. The video remained in his mind — the broken bodies of his weapons’ victims, lives destroyed for the business Mikael had worked to hard to build. He flung the rag, and it slammed hard against his desk. “Getting rid of this stain.”

What are your thoughts on the war between the Capulets and the Montagues? Mikael was a soldier. Just a soldier. That meant even for all the profit he produced the Capulet family, he was not entitled to their protection, nor could he rely on it. If Mikael had a choice, he would leave them be.

But there were stronger forces at bay. Was it unreasonable to question an outsider’s motives when Mikael himself was being interrogated and probed? If it were, it hardly mattered. Distrust was his birthright. The Falcos found wealth, but they never lost the beggars’ nature. What they passed down to their son was more than riches; Mikael inherited his mother’s relentless hunger, and his father’s habit of sleeping with one eye open.

Mikael leaned forward, dark gaze locking into the journalist’s, eyes leering with quiet hostility. “That’s none of your business,” he said, low and furious. “Get out of my fucking office.”

In character para sample:

Lights illuminated the waters, the gold of the street gleaming bright against the black of the river Danube. Perhaps, once, Mikael would have said Budapest at night was the captivating sight he’d ever witnessed, but that was before he met Lucrezia. Mikael hardly believed in magic, but in this moment, he thought it perhaps it existed, and it was this moment, an undeserving man standing by a river under the stars, blessed enough to witness the best of God’s creations. It was a type of awe that nearly brought him down on his knees. He knelt, one hand scrounging his pocket for the ultimate sign of his devotion, the promise of surrender. “Lucrezia.” The softness with which he spoke her name betrayed how unworthy he felt of it, like he doubted it could ever belong to him. “I’m not good with words. I’m not good with a lot of things, and sometimes that makes me scared to try anything new.” His heart skittered against his ribs. You’re rambling. Stop wasting her time. “And I don’t know if I’ll be good at this, at,” the words his lips wished to form felt so foreign to his tongue. “At loving you.” Mikael took Lucrezia’s hand and pressed it gently between a palm and closed fist. Every selfish ache surged through his body. Guilt followed, for the hunger of his heart could barely be restrained, and nothing of him was worthy of this, nothing of him deserved the light Lucrezia radiated. “But for the first time, I don’t think I’m scared to try. I want —” Mikael paused. What did it matter what he wanted? What right did he have to ask anything of her? “I want to be good to you. Please,” Mikael’s voice remained soft, slow, but all deep longing and desperation was evident in the way his words cracked through his throat. He unfolded his palm, and the ring resting on it caught the light of the moon. “Let me be good to you.”

Eyes fluttered open. His phone buzzed against the bedside table, and the jarring sound of its vibrations sent a wave of annoyance surging through Mikael’s skin. As the real world reformed around him, the dream-memory shattered, leaving a bittersweet taste in its wake.

Nothing much had changed. Same life, same woman, same relentless emptiness. Legs slid off the bed, and Mikael sat upright, palms on either side of him. With one slow, lethargic motion, his hand reached for the buzzing phone on his bedside table, the faint glow of its screen bright against his tired, barely woken eyes. His face contorted into a scowl upon reading his alarm label: WAKE UP YOU USELESS PIECE OF SHIT. Mikael groaned. He shut it off, slammed the thing lightly against the table, but as he turned away, his eyes caught sight of his wife’s sleeping figure. He looked at her, and his anger quieted.

The sheets had shifted when he woke himself, so Mikael pulled them over her body, willfully gentle as not to wake her. “I love you,” he said under his breath, and a certain sort of sadness consumed him. His heart rose to his throat. It ached with a stupid, childish fantasy: that if he said and breathed and lived those three words enough, he would one day deserve to hear them returned.

Mikael did not blame Lucrezia for not wanting him. How could she? When he looked at the mirror, there was no part of himself that he did not despise. Men like him and the monster blood they carried — they were hard to love, hardly worthy of love. This was the routine he deserved: to every day pray that their hearts’ hunger be sated, to every day have their prayers met with suffocating silence.

If emotions governed people, what a tyrant love must have been.

Extras:

♚ Mock Blog: regicidios.tumblr.com

♚ Cawdor Industries is a mix of several businesses, namely transportation, construction, and weapons manufacturing, which are all a legitimate front for Mikael’s Dirty Mobster businesses: smuggling, money laundering, and arms trafficking. Like the capitalist pigs they are, they’re primarily concerned with making money and use their close connections with the Capulets for networking and intimidation purposes.

♚ I read a lot on Riz Ahmed before writing this app, and out of love for him I just want to respect his background as a second-generation immigrant and write Mikael as a second generation immigrant as well. Falco isn’t a Pakistani surname, so I headcanon that his parents had their blatantly Muslim Pakistani surname changed in order to be recognized with more legitimacy in the Italian business ( and mobster ) world. Isn’t their background a little like the immigrant narrative anyway? People who came from nothing build themselves a better future with nothing but unbridled ambition and determination to forge a better life for their children. And of course, they’re typical Parents Of Colour, who constantly remind their child of how much they’d sacrificed as a way of saying: you owe us. That, and the generational gap between them, with Mikael no longer being familiar with Pakistani customs and traditions as a result of growing up in Diverse-But-Decidedly-Not-South-Asian Verona, drive a wedge between Mikael and his parents, and them not fully connecting is one of the many contributing factors to Mikael’s decision to send them away.

♚ This is me rambling but maybe a crass, clinically-depressed, overworked, caffeine-addicted hopeless ‘romantic’ nihilist-in-the-making is a little far off from how you originally envisioned Mikael but I’m going to stand by my portrayal because I firmly believe that the Thane of Cawdor Who Shall be King Hereafter is whatever the hell the polar opposite of Big Dick Energy is and m a n he’s literature’s finest and funniest example of just how AWFUL toxic masculinity can get… I mean there’s an actual scene where Lady M tells her MacBitch he sucks at sex and then Macbeth proceeds to go on a murder-regicide rampage for four whole acts to redeem his manhood, do you think someone that insecure will ever have the cool, self-assured swagger of ( the disgustingand horrible ) Michael Fassbender of Macbeth 2015 dir Justin Kurzel? No! Riz Ahmed is the love of my life but all his resources have him look like he’s either paranoid or dead inside or both, which is perfect, because that’s just quintessential Macbeth, everyone’s favourite Scottom ( Scottish Bottom ).

♚ That all aside, he’s an irredeemable bastard and I love him, please take us both.

#accepted: macbeth #accepted

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graveyard-of-art · 7 years

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This Is Not Worth Your Time: A Memoir

If you are reading this, it is because either a). You are my girlfriend, for whom this is written, or b). You are as masochistic as myself and found a crumpled up copy of this publication at the very bottom of a pile of garbage in the back of a particularly discomforting alley beneath the cold lifeless bodies of poor recently orphaned Bruce Wayne’s tragically deceased parents inside the house belonging to the creepy old man your mother warned you about surrounded by hundreds of CD’s that can only play Castle of Glass by LINKIN PARK on repeat that all happened to be in a container of long-expired ham in the back of your refrigerator. If the former applies, then know that I love you very much and am truly sorry you are being forced to read this boring bundle of misused metaphors and annoying alliteration by your fleeting hope that something of even vague quality or satisfaction will someday come from my half of our relationship, and if the latter applies you really should clean out your refrigerator more often. In either case you are in fact here and if I cannot convince you to return to your regularly scheduled life of mundanity and boredom, I suppose I have to provide you with what the title of this literary application of chaos theory has promised you poor naïve souls: a memoir. Put the gun down, these words will have the same effect and supply far larger quantities of sweet sweet pain before death claims your already soulless body. Approximately 604,852.3 seconds prior to the birth of this travesty, my lovely family and I had decided that it was time to fill our fragile, fearful bodies with the carcasses of perished beings in the hopes that it would add a few more meaningless hours to our respective lives until we too perish and are consumed by the earth, filling the ground with wood and bones until there is no more room below and the skeletons begin to spill into the societies of the living, flooding cities and towns with limbs and skulls as a forceful reminder that there is no escape from the past. On this particular bleak afternoon my older brother and I had been informed that the day was too pleasant for us to remain inside, so our painfully uninteresting story of a white semi-rural family’s culinary exploits begins much like the Holocaust, with an unsettling amount of smoke in the air and a few rebels complaining loudly enough to seem upset but softly enough to ensure their superiors remain unaware. If you would prefer I refrain from capitalizing upon the unnecessary and incomprehensibly horrific deaths of millions by casually mentioning tragedy and genocide purely for the shock factor, I would like to remind you that I tried to turn you away and much like the Knights of the Crusades, you pushed on for no justifiable reason. It is not too late to turn back now, as much like the Crusades for the Knights Templar, the act of reading the rest of this paper will end exactly as it began: with pain, disappointment, and a serious questioning of the reasoning behind your most recent endeavors. With chemicals in the air and chemicals in our cups, my familial trinity of mother and sons began our meal. Much like this publication, the event was both uninteresting and unnecessary. We nibbled on the carcasses we had prepared and attempted to rest our conscience by telling ourselves that we are the superior beings, and the slaves who were raised for slaughter were glad to know that their lives were sacrificed for the betterment of the world, for the good of all who matter. We told ourselves this as we chewed silently on someone’s father, on someone’s child. Statements were made about the current weather, inquiries were made about the future weather. More chewing. Eventually my brother decided that the sound of hopes and dreams being dipped in acid and disintegrated was unpleasing and desired another topic to think about, so he asked me about a video game I had been playing to keep my mind off of my inherent uselessness and lack of purpose. I won’t include the title or plot of the aforementioned game in an effort to hasten the process of your excruciatingly painful reading experience, but know that the game focuses on a variety of subjects including but not limited to: murder, suicide, excessive bullying, drug abuse, alcoholism, rape, what color flowers are the prettiest, abuse of authority within the police force and the enticing idea that everyone you have ever cared about will be dead within the week and you will have the physical power to prevent it but will panic and fail and live the rest of your life with their screams in your ears and their blood on your hands until you die of loneliness to be met with their screams of horror and damnation for all eternity. I told my brother of my progress and he listened intently, nodding politely at the exposition and wincing involuntarily at the climax. We discussed this fictional world for a short while before the empty silence of the real one reclaimed our table. The silence was neither sad nor melancholy; partially reflective and wholly necessary seemed to be descriptors that better suited the atmosphere. That is, until my mother broke our tranquility with the unexpected and seemingly unprompted suggestion that the three of us begin naming as many different flavors of ice cream as we could to “exercise our brains.” After a brief shared look of uncertainty and a few moments spent questioning intentions to no avail the table’s two younger residents realized that our elder counterpart was completely serious and decided we may as well play along. Strawberry. Chocolate. Vanilla. The Blood Of A Young Interloper Who Was Beaten And Murdered For Sport. Mint Chocolate Chip. We continued this until we stopped and then we carried our utensils inside and returned to our dull meaningless lives. Nothing changed, nothing was learned. I remained as useless as I have always been. This memoir has no purpose, no discernable reason to exist. There is no greater connection that I have given you. No point about society: about how our fear of talking about unsettling topics keeps us from understanding them, about how we give complex problems simple solutions to create the illusion of progress, about how we use material objects and simple feelings to create a sense of false security. No discussion about my family: about how our single familial unit is fractured by individual viewpoints and beliefs, about how we place happiness over true peace of mind, about how we want so desperately to feel as if our world is stable that we will ignore the blatant cracks in the walls and creaking of the floor if it'll make us feel more comfortable in our glass castle. No confession about myself: about how I surround myself with artificial darkness so that I don't have to think about the shadows around me that are real, about how my mind contorts the real world into a twisted parody of itself to give me a war to fight in because I can't know who I am if I'm not fighting against something, about how I sneak a self-deprecating joke in nearly every sentence because I refuse to accept that I may be an important part of someone's life and that the actions I make have real consequences that affect anyone beyond myself. Any one of those things could have given this publication true life, could have proven its author as someone of intelligence. Any one of those things could have saved me from this black abyss I’ve locked myself in, could have given me something to latch onto, to cradle in my arms as a joyous symbol of worth, as proof that I have amounted to something. None of those things are here. I didn't promise you a symbol of worth, I promised you disappointment. I promised you meaningless chaos. I lost my soul, but at least now you have what you came for. If you are reading this, it is because either a). You are my girlfriend, for whom this is written, or b). You are as masochistic as myself and found a crumpled up copy of this publication at the very bottom of a pile of garbage in the back of a particularly discomforting alley beneath the cold lifeless bodies of poor recently orphaned Bruce Wayne’s lovely and tragically deceased parents inside the house belonging to the creepy old man your mother warned you about surrounded by CD’s that can only play Castle of Glass by LINKIN PARK on repeat that all happened to be in a container of long-expired ham in the back of your refrigerator. If the former applies, then know that I love you very much and am truly sorry you were forced to read this boring bundle of misused metaphors and annoying alliteration by your fleeting hope that something of even vague quality or satisfaction will someday come from my half of our relationship, and if the latter applies, you really should have just left this to rot behind the milk. In either case you are in fact here and since I could not convince you to return to your regularly scheduled life of mundanity and boredom, I would like to formally apologize for this literary application of chaos theory. Put the gun down, if the mediocrity of these words haven't killed you, a proofreading session or two will.

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