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reidslibrarybook · 3 years

Text

Love in More Ways than One

Pairing - Spencer Reid x BAU!Fem!Reader

Warnings - language

Summary - Spencer’s never shied away from using ‘i love you’ and neither have you. It’s been the only tried and true way you could ever express your feelings for him, little does he know that you loved him in more ways than one.

Category - hurt/comfort, fluff at the end

Word Count - 4.9k

A/N - hehe it’s been a while since I’ve posted but have this shorty. I’ll be gone for this whole week but i’ll probably be putting something out by next weekend, wish me luck on finals besties 😭

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“I don’t know how you can drink that, and during winter no less,” he shook his head, disapproval lacing his voice as he took a sip of the steaming hot coffee in his hand.

“There’s nothing wrong with having a good iced coffee, it’s a drink for every season,” you reasoned. He picked up his pace to reach the large glass doors before you, pushing it open and letting you pass him before he followed behind.

Such a simple act made your heart beat for a reason you wouldn’t be able to understand, but then again, when did your heart not race when he was around.

Had it not been for the mistake in paperwork, you wouldn’t be experiencing these indescribable feelings— your transfer papers being written and sent to Hotch instead of the unit chief at ViCAP. You were thankful for your former superior’s lack of diligence, otherwise you wouldn’t have met the man who graduated to being the owner of your glass heart.

Watching Spencer date other people while also keeping your feelings behind wraps was a struggle at times, but it was worth it if he was happy— you were just glad to call him yours in a different way. He was your best friend and has been days after your transfer, offering you a welcoming gift of chocolate and an annotated version of the BAU procedures.

The unconventional combination instead of the usual gift basket or insincere card left you confused, but you soon figured out it was his way of trying to befriend you. He explained that the chocolate was a brain enhancer for when you tackled the large binder of rules and guidelines that you’d be tested on later in the week. His almost illegible notes in the tiny margins helped you a lot more than you thought, getting you a 94% on your test and a nod of approval from your new stone-faced unit chief.

The day after, he was met with an invitation to the local cafe from you as a ‘thank you’ gift and a ploy for you to get to know the handsome man that kept you from hating your first week of work. From there, your walls were quick to fall and so were you— already wading in the waters you had only planned to dip your toes in.

Time passed and Spencer ended up taking up two roles in your life, your closest companion and the subject of your fantasies. You couldn’t remember the number of times you’ve almost let the secrets you held closest to your heart spill from your lips and kept yourself from revealing it all.

You were no damsel in distress.

But life with Spencer Reid was a different story.

“But studies show that hot coffee increases longevity and I want you for as long as I can have you,” he giggled, your face held neutral as every cell in your body seemed to burst with excitement. You knew realistically that what he said was nothing but innocent, pure and good in nature with platonic undertones.

“You’re just saying that because no one else is willing to sit through an untranslated Russian movie,” you giggled, placing your things down onto your desk and trying to reason with you more than him.

“She’s not wrong,” Emily chided, “I may be the only other person here who speaks Russian but I don’t think I could ever handle watching some random men in astronaut suits for three hours.”

“Actually,” he corrected, your smile widening at his incomparable habit of using the word ‘actually’ in an unintentionally obnoxious way, “The movie is only really two hours and thirty-seven minutes so you’d be watching twenty-three minutes less than what you really believed.” He smiled, oblivious to the underlying snarky tone of his comment that everyone around him was well accustomed to. It was an innocent quirk he had, one of the many that had you falling at his feet.

“You better start drinking some hot coffee, I don’t want you dying any time soon either. No way in hell I’m doing any of his nerd stuff with him if you’re gone,” Derek joked, earning a round of chuckles from all the people around you.

He walked past you, scanning the words on the top of the pile of folders on his desk. “Even if you didn’t watch Solaris with me, I’d still want you to live for as long as you can because I love you,” he said with nothing but a warm smile on his face— eyes still glued to the papers in his hands.

A plaguing tightness in your chest and heat stinging your cheeks returned like it usually did when he said the infamous three words that did nothing but inspire a bittersweet feeling in you. You looked up, meeting Emily and Derek’s curious eyes as they stared at the two of you as if they were watching some melodramatic soap opera.

You were startled when Spencer looked up, waiting for you to say it back.

“I love you too,” you sang sweetly, a smile of content forming on his face as he finally sat down in his chair.

You pretended as if you couldn’t feel Emily and Derek’s looming gaze, ignoring the thought of the pending whispers that would take place as soon as you and Spencer left for the day. It was normal for people to talk.

To whisper.

To gossip.

Many of your colleagues had running theories that you and Spencer were secretly dating behind the scenes and as much as you wished all the rumors were true, they weren’t. Knowing the truth about your pitiful, unrequited feelings made you feel even worse— having the almost pathetic ‘inside scoop’ on the hypotheses that the people around you came up with didn’t help the pain that rang through you every time you were reminded that he wasn’t yours in that way.

You sighed, briefly stealing a glance at the man across from you— brows furrowed as he tried to figure out how to fill out his paperwork. Even in his confusion, he was still the most handsome man you ever saw.

He stole your heart without even knowing, taking the poor thing straight from your chest and putting it in his back pocket.

—

The rest of the day was fairly uneventful aside from Emily’s nosy questions and Derek’s endless teasing— things you were very much used to. Spencer seemed unbothered as usual, laughing at their suggestive comments while continuing to beat at the dead horse that was your feelings.

The frustrating thing was the fact that you never knew if he was serious about the things he says, words dripping with a sickly-sweet tone and eyes filled to the brim with golden brown honey. His low husky voice put you in a trance you were perpetually stuck in, unable to escape from his sticky, saccharine grasp.

It was only fair for you to assume that he loved you too, but just in a different way— a way you’ve long past.

“Hey.” You turned around as Spencer jogged up to you, his hand brushing the small of your back which sent an immediate wave of heat across your cheeks.

“Hey,” you smiled, looking down to shield yourself from his tempestuous charm.

“Thanks for waiting for me,” he reached towards the elevator button and pressed it, the warmth from his hand melting the nerve endings in your spinal cord— rendering you paralyzed and unable to move.

You nodded, quickly stepping into the cramped space as soon as the door opened and allowed you to do so. He followed you in, holding his hand out to take the files that were wrapped tightly in your arms— unaware that the act amplified the odd feeling of pain that stemmed from your heart.

“So we have the whole week off, what are you planning on doing?”

“Nothing much,” you sighed, happily giving him some of the files to hold for you as you fished for your keys, “I don’t think I’ll be going out any time soon.”

“Why not?”

You laughed, “I don’t have anywhere to go with anyone, Spence.”

“You have me,” he offered.

And there it was again.

That look.

Those words.

His wide smile pierced a hole through your fibrous heart. It was sweet moments like the one you were experiencing that made you fall in love with him, his handsome personality and breathtaking attractiveness was always something you had no trouble fawning over.

“I- I know,” you chuckled, sweeping the hair out of your face with your cold hand in hopes of cooling down the wildfire on your cheeks, “Don’t you ever get tired of hanging out with me and only me? It must get boring at times.”

“Why would you ever think that? There’s not a single moment in time that’s dull when I’m with you,” he pulled the sleeve of his cardigan to cover his hand, placing it in the elevator door frame to keep the sliding metal pieces from closing in on you while you walked out.

“Spencer, really… you never feel like we’ve run out of things to talk about or something?”

“Of course not, I’ve memorized every book I’ve read. I don’t think I’ll ever exhaust all the information in my brain,” he laughed, placing his arm tightly around your shoulders to keep you close to him and away from the nippy winds that traveled through the parking garage. You were so close to him, trying your best to keep from dropping everything and wrapping your arms around him right there. It took every bone in your body to resist him, ignoring every urge that you had even if all you wanted to do was give in.

“Let me drive,” he said once you reached your car, “You seem exhausted and I don’t want to make you drive if you’re all sleepy.”

“I’m not that tired,” you giggled, “Plus, you’re a horrible driver and I don’t want to get into an accident.”

“Well you drowsy driving isn’t going to decrease our odds of getting into an accident, give me the keys,” he handed you back the files as you reluctantly dropped the keys into his open hand.

His hand navigated to the wheel right as the two of you hopped in, starting the engine and driving out of the parking garage.

The ride was as it usually was, filled with laughter and smiles that came from Spencer’s endless jokes and playful teasing. The only thing that was different was the feelings of reluctance that you typically ignored, except the feeling was much stronger— widespread.

It came as soon as it left, but the feeling grappled onto you and lingered around your heart. It was almost as if he could sense your shift in energy, turning on your favorite song and offering himself up on the butcher’s block. You smiled right when he began to sing, his horribly tone deaf voice filling the car and the warm feeling returning to your chest.

“How about I come over tomorrow and we can have our yearly marathon of Dr. Who early this year?” He asked, driving down the street with both hands gripping the steering wheel as every vein on his hands were bared. Taking your eyes off from staring at his very attractive hands and forearm was a struggle, clearing your throat to keep yourself in the right headspace and away from the desirous thoughts that were plentiful.

“Yea, that s- sounds good,” you stuttered, still distracted.

You were so caught up in singing along with him and drooling over his good looks that you didn’t realize that the car had already come to a quiet stop… outside your building. You looked around, thinking that you were hallucinating the park that reflected the sunlight into your apartment and the tall building— your window visible from your spot in the car.

“Why’d you drive here and not to your place?” You sat up in your chair, furrowing your brow as you looked at him with confusion.

“You’re tired, I don’t want you driving back sleepy,” he smiled, taking the keys out and stepping out.

The look on his face was heavenly, his eyes gleaming with sincerity and care. You couldn’t help but melt with just one wayward look in his direction. He walked around to your side of the car and opened the door for you, offering his hand to help you out.

You sighed, “You didn’t have to do that, how are you going to get back now?”

“I’ll walk back,” he shrugged.

“You’re seriously going to walk to your apartment that’s three miles away from here… while it’s snowing?”

“Yeah,” he said unbothered, leading you towards the front of the building with an overhang that kept you from getting snowed on.

“I don’t think your genius brain is working, there’s no way you’re going to make it back without your nose or fingers falling off,” you joked.

He giggled, taking his hands and pulling the beanie on your head down further— slightly covering your eyes as a wide grin came about on both your faces.

“I’ll be fine.”

You sighed, done with his selflessness and stubborn behavior. “Just take my car, you’re coming over tomorrow night anyways.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to just take your car-”

“It’s alright, Spencer. I know you won’t just take it and drive away without looking back, right?” You joked.

“Of course not.”

“Good,” you whispered, wanting to prolong your ending conversation. You did nothing but stare deep into his eyes, the warm twinkle in his eyes and supple look of his lips drew you in. With a nod and a smile, you turned around to walk into the building before he pulled you back— landing right in between his arms as your face fit right into the crook of his neck.

“You know I love you right? I’d never get tired of you… ever,” he reassured, squeezing you tight enough to make the feelings spill from your already overflowing heart.

“I-” you laughed, “I love you too.”

He pulled away to look at you, tilting his head to the side quizzically, “What’s so funny?”

“I just- I don’t know? We’re best friends and we tell each other that we love each other. Isn’t that weird?”

“I don’t think so,” he shook his head in accordance with his words, “I think it’s perfectly normal.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t say it anymore…” you trailed off to find the words, “I- It’s just overused and I d- don’t know? I guess so people don’t get the wrong idea?”

He laughed, “Since when do you care about what other people think about us?”

“I don’t,” you shrugged, trying to shake off his lost look, “People just think we’re dating and it’s a bit of a hassle to be asked about it all the time.”

“I don’t think that it’s a bad thing that people think we’re dating either. I don’t mind keeping you all to myself,” he teased, a playful grin wide on his face.

And again, the words that always led you to a world of romantic fallacies— words that mislead you and your wandering heart.

“Spencer…”

“Fine,” he held his hands up and surrendered, “If you really want me to, I’ll stop.”

“Thank you b- but it doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I- I still do, I always will,” your words taking on a double meaning that only you knew.

“I know,” he chuckled, walking you to the door of your building and opening it for you, “I’ll always love you too.”

You stood there in silence, accepting that maybe it had to be that way for your own sake. His eyes reflected the light of the moon, a sweet smile on his face that showed nothing but care for you.

Taking one final look at the man your heart beat for, you walked into your building as he stood right where you left him…

The door still open and a piece of yourself still left in his hands.

——————————————

The week flew by in a breeze, the rare time you had off was well spent between a mix of alone time and spending your nights with Spencer. He was always there when you needed him, bringing food and entertainment when you rang. Despite what your insecurities planted in your mind, conversation was never dry and laughs were never missed.

Every moment you spent with him was never dull.

You couldn’t lie even if you tried to block your feelings out. There would be times when conversation would reach a natural lull that he used to fill with a quick ‘i love you’, but the void filled with silence was never remedied with the three words since you told him to stop saying it. You missed him telling you but you had to remind yourself that it had to be done, a preemptive protection for your heart that would inevitably be broken when he found himself someone to give his to.

Your phone buzzed from a message, picking it up and looking to see a text from Spencer the morning you had to return to work.

‘I’m sending a taxi to you, I’ll meet you in the office.’

Why was he sending you a cab instead of picking you up? He had your car, maybe he was just caught up doing something and he didn’t want to get you in trouble with Hotch by picking you up late. It was wishful thinking but it was the best thing you could conjure up without getting all the strings in your heart tied up in a stubborn knot.

The whole ride to the government building was spent coming up with possible reasons why Spencer couldn’t drive you. It wasn’t a big deal, but always followed through on what he said he’d do— specifically stating that he was picking you up the night before after watching one of his favorite Sci-fi movies.

You made it to your desk, the sound of whispers filling your ears. What was peculiar about this instance was that the hushed talks weren’t about you, they were directed toward the people who had just walked into the bullpen.

An unfamiliar sound of a woman’s laughter echoed throughout the room, prompting you to turn around and look at the stunning woman walking in with none other than the man you were just looking for. Spencer.

You were wondering where he was, but it seemed like you didn’t have to look anymore.

Spencer looked up and smiled, waving his hand to you. You smiled back, immobilized in place while the beating of your heart accelerated with each step the pair took towards you.

Was this it?

Was this the moment you lost the chance you never had to begin with?

“Hey,” you said, ignoring the urge to sprint away from Spencer and the woman whose arm was linked with his— two coffees in his hand.

“Hi,” she said, delighted, “I’m Regina.”

“Nice to meet you,” you took the hand she offered to shake, “I um, I’m sorry do I know you?”

Spencer shook his head, gulping nervously— an infuriating blush burning his face. “N- no, she wanted me to show her around the place.”

“Oh. Well, I’ll leave you to it,” you said defeatedly.

“Wait, Y/N-”

“Penelope called me,” the lie slipping past your lips effortlessly in a last ditch attempt to get you away from them, “She needs me to help her with something. I have to go, you two have fun.”

Before you knew it, you were speeding down the hall towards the sacred batcave with your things stuffed haphazardly into your bag.

It probably wasn’t the best idea to hide away in the BAU’s most infamous meddler and gossip girl, but it was your best option— at least, better than sitting across from someone who ditched you in the morning for someone else. There were millions of possibilities you could entertain as to who she was and how he managed to find her.

You shouldn’t be mad or upset, you knew that, but that didn’t make the whole situation any easier for you to digest.

It was what you wanted, a slow pull away, an easy distancing from your painful love for him. But why was it so hard? So hard to relieve the tension caused by the strings that connected the little fragment of your heart to the rest of it that laid in his hands?

You could hear him asking Penelope if you were in there, trying to gain entry into her sacred batcave. You ended up telling her that you needed some alone time for your overbearing migraine, asking if you could take shelter from the bright lights of the bullpen in her little area.

She agreed, holding up her word by not allowing anyone to enter in from the outside— even Spencer. You were thankful for her maternal instincts as she tried to figure out what was really wrong without provoking you too much.

You were being irrational and you knew it, but it was so hard for you to accept him finding someone so quickly when you felt like a piece of you was ripped out from inside of you. You were experiencing your own little break up, one that was unknown to the prying eyes of everyone around you.

You didn’t know what was the best for you, was it keeping in touch with Spencer or leaving completely? Either way, you’d feel as though everything in your romanticized world was broken— the image of your very own paradise tarnished with a nightmare you knew was coming.

A very real nightmare that had turned into a sour pill of reality, one you had to swallow.

——————————————

You sat there on the freezing cold bench, staring out at the frozen lake in front of you. The calming appearance and disappearance of your breath helped you distract yourself from what you were really avoiding, Spencer.

Even in the winter under a solid piece of ice, all the life underwater managed to survive. It was a miracle, something you wished you could do. Had you been able to keep yourself from slipping down an icy path and willingly giving your heart to him, you wouldn’t be wallowing while the scene laid out before you looked like it was taken straight out of a postcard picture of a winter wonderland.

The cold was kept out by the large jacket you had on, the gloves keeping your fingers from numbing unlike the little hole that felt the absence of your heart.

“Hey!”

You turned around, met with Spencer and his messy hair trapped in a beanie that you forced him to take.

You wished that he wasn’t there, that he wasn’t real so you wouldn’t have to put yourself through anything more that day.

“Y/N!”

Frozen in that moment like the droplets of water on the tree branches above you, you took a second or two to figure out what he was doing in the park across from your apartment building. You looked away from him, your conflicting feelings about his presence storming your clarity of thought.

You stood up, stuffing your hands into your pocket and walking away from him. You couldn’t, it was too much too soon. The whole reason why you were sitting there was to clear your painful thoughts, to get away from him.

You stopped walking right as a sweeping feeling of cold ice hit your neck, turning around and looking at Spencer with a look of utter shock. He stood there with a mischievous smile on his face, his hand raised in a throwing position with remnants of the snow he threw at you stuck to his black glove.

“Spencer…”

He reached down and grabbed another handful, cupping his hands around it to form it into a ball. “So now you’re talking to me?”

“Don’t you dare,” you yelled, beginning to back away slowly— a slight grin returning to your face.

“What? Are you afraid of a little snow?” He shouted happily, picking up speed and running towards you with a handful of a torturous snow. Your eyes widened, running away from him and hiding behind a tree that took a fatal hit with the ginormous snow ball he formed.

You laughed along with the echoes of his giggled, grabbing a chunk of snow and aiming right at him— hitting square in the chest. He fell back from the impact, the snow visibly entering the small gap between his shirt and puffy coat.

For a moment, you forgot all about the events of the day. The only thing on your mind was your shared happiness, the self-imposed fight turning into one that involved snowballs. You retreated back behind the tree when he got back up, his hands raised in the air.

“Truce,” he yelled, slowly walking towards you.

You approached him, the taste of winter euphoria washing away as reality became increasingly clearer. He met you halfway, towering over you with his lips pressed into an awkward, thin line.

The quiet was torture if not hell, the silence stabbing your heart with an arrow laced with guilt. It was your fault for making things awkward, for letting your feelings interfere with your friendship. Had you kept control of the situation, neither of you would be standing quietly with the sound of your shaky breaths barely audible.

You opened your mouth to speak, closing it shortly after from your loss of words.

“I love you,” he whispered, your eyes meeting his.

“We- we promised not to say that anymore,” you laughed humorlessly.

“I know,” he reached his hand backward to scratch his neck, “B- but I’m saying it in a different way. I love you in a different way… in a way where we’re not just friends.”

Did your wish come true, you really hope it didn’t. All you wanted was for what he said to be real, but then your mind came back to the woman who was trapped in his arms earlier that day.

“But what about Regina?”

He shook his head slightly. “What about her?”

“Aren’t you two-”

“No!” he looked around as his voice echoed through the park unintentionally, “I- I mean no. She insisted on following me when I went to go get us coffee, that’s why I ordered the cab for you. She um, she wouldn’t let me leave her so I was hoping that you could have helped me with that.”

You laughed, “You brought her to the BAU because you couldn’t tell her no?”

“I didn’t want to be rude,” he pouted slightly, biting the inside of his cheek. “She and I- we aren’t um, we aren’t dating or anything. I mean, I think she’s nice, I’m not too sure since I only really talked to her for a half an hour but nothing happened and I promise that I-”

You smiled at his rambling and pulled him down by the lapels of his coat, the two of you crashing together effortlessly in what had been a long time coming. Both of your eyes fluttered close, putting all your feelings through the meeting of your soft lips as the noisy cars of the city passed you by.

You moved together in a synchronized manner, feeling as though you no longer needed the protection your winter gear provided— kept warm enough by the shared feelings brought together by your interconnected hearts.

His wet glove moved to your hair, pulling you closer into him until your bodies were flush up against the other. You giggled into his lips and winced slightly at the odd feeling of his cold hand tangled in the strands of your hair.

Your hands migrated towards the nape of his neck, trying to offset the unfamiliar feeling of being so close by playing with his hair— something you had done many times before. He responded to your kiss with an enthusiasm you didn’t expect, the fluttering feeling filling your stomach with the eagerness of his kiss.

The kiss was addictive. You never wanted to stop or pull away, all you wanted was to be with him stuck in that moment forever. He moved against your lips, the two of you fitting together perfectly having never felt each other in the way you were before.

As much as you wanted to stay in that one moment for the rest of eternity, the air in your lungs was all used up— the two of you pulling away and left gasping for air.

He pressed his forehead against yours, his hot breath ghosting across your swollen lips like the beating of a butterfly’s wings.

“I love you too,” you mumbled, still left in a drunken haze from the lack of oxygen reaching your brain, “I love you in a different way.”

He giggled, “I love you in a different way too.”

There in the snow reflecting the orange glow of the setting sun, you realized— Spencer may have stolen your heart, but you didn't need it back…

Because you had his to share.

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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years

Text

Beautifully Spent

aka Five Times Lan Qiren Left The Lan Sect Behind

- Chapter 2 -

A/N: As a note, each of these chapters is a separate story with a different point of divergence from canon timeline.

When Lan Wangji was six years old, and Lan Xichen nine, their mother died, breaking their hearts. Even Lan Qiren, who had never liked He Kexin and might have even hated her for having ruined all his dreams of travel, felt her absence keenly – he kept thinking of her at odd times, a matter of irrepressible habit. I should tell her about this next week, he would think as he watched his nephews accomplish something, or, upon receiving an offer to go night-hunting, We can’t go because we wouldn’t be able to make it back in time for the monthly visit, and then he’d abruptly remember she was dead and there would be no more monthly visits.

One time, sitting and watching Lan Wangji carefully practice his calligraphy during the time that would normally have been their monthly visit, he even found himself inexplicably wiping tears out of his eyes. It had been a struggle, but they’d finally gotten Lan Wangji to stop going to her door, ignoring snow and chill to wait there as if simply willing it would allow the door to open again, but he remained overly quiet, even quieter than he’d been before, the loss hurting him deeply, and seeing him hurt had hurt Lan Qiren. He tried to be subtle about it, to hide his abrupt display of emotionality, but before he knew it, Lan Wangji had come over to stand by his side, his little hands holding his own, earnestly mumbling, “Don’t cry, shufu, it’ll be all right” in an echo of what Lan Qiren had been trying so ineffectually to say to him.

“Yes,” he said, wiping harder, and ultimately giving up entirely and letting the tears stream down his cheeks, hiding his face entirely behind one of his sleeves. Lan Xichen found them at some point and curled up into Lan Qiren’s other side, tears starting to slowly seep down his own face; trying to hold back their strange shared grief was like trying to stop the tide. “It will be all right, eventually. I promise.”

He had made that promise too soon, it seemed: less than a week later, one of the elders remarked that it was time for Lan Xichen to take up some of the duties of running a sect.

“What?” Lan Qiren asked, blinking. “You’re joking. He’s nine.”

“He’s the future sect leader,” the elder said, and his gaze was cold. “Never forget, Teacher Lan, that although you fill the role now, you are only a custodian in his name.”

“That’s not the point I was making,” Lan Qiren said, frustrated; he had never been very good with words or with people. “Of course he will inherit the position, given time. But he is not even old enough for his own sword, and years away from night-hunting – why would you burden him with sect business? He’s far too young.”

“He is at exactly the right age to begin. How else can we ensure that he will not fall into the failings of his father or the crimes of his mother?”

“He is a child,” Lan Qiren stressed, wondering what he was missing. “We can only teach him to the best of our abilities, and hope that he does well with it; there’s nothing else that can be done.”

The elder shook his head. “We cannot take the risk of another generation of disaster. He must be trained, and trained now, trained well. If we do not take action, it may be too late, and he will be ruined.”

As you were, he didn’t say, but Lan Qiren felt keenly the burn of humiliation. He had never lived up to their expectations the way his brother had, and then his brother had gone and failed them all, too.

“What exactly are you thinking?” he asked, trying to dismiss the feeling of foreboding in his belly. An introduction to the burdens Lan Xichen would eventually face would not be so far amiss – a shichen a week of helping to transcribe simple letters, perhaps, or running errands, the sort of thing a boy could do and not be bored; that wouldn’t be too bad.

That wasn’t what they had in mind at all.

They wanted Lan Xichen to start tackling political problems at once, forcing him to make real decisions, deal with paperwork, and then also three times the usual lessons in sword and music, all the skills he would need to have. And all this, of course, on top of his regular lessons –

“We can assist, of course,” one of the elders said to the others, ignoring Lan Qiren’s aghast expression entirely. “But the sooner he grows accustomed to the work, the sooner he can step up –”

“You’ll crush him!” Lan Qiren exclaimed, interrupting, and he never interrupted the elders. “He’s a child, and a child who just lost his mother at that – how can you even suggest this? He would have no time to study in depth rather than shallowly, no time to think, to become his own person –”

“We will polish him into a perfect jade,” an elder said. “Him, and the younger one, too. What more do they need than to be of service to the sect?”

It wasn’t that Lan Qiren disagreed that service to their sect was the highest good, or that scholarly and martial pursuits were of the highest caliber, far more important than aimless play. He was a teacher, a strict one, and the sect rules accorded with his understanding: Learning comes first. But at the same time, there was learning and then there was learning – he was a teacher who cared for his students’ well-being, too. He knew that the approach proposed would not polish Lan Xichen into a jade but mold him instead, brutally pruning away any part of him that did not accord with the elders’ wishes.

It was just what they’d done to Lan Qiren the moment he became acting sect leader, after all.

They’d loaded him up with responsibilities until he’d nearly worked himself sick, refused to grant him the slightest freedom to travel even in a small and supervised manner, and they’d tried to force him to recant even those few things he did enjoy – composing music, teaching children. If he hadn’t already been as old as he was when it started, he wouldn’t have had the strength of will or determination to preserve even those few little things of his own…

“He should move into the hanshi soon,” another elder agreed. “If we expect him to take on the responsibilities of an adult, he should be treated as one.”

“Agreed. The sooner he disengages from messing around with his peers, the better. They will only distract him from what he needs to do.”

“I do not agree with this,” Lan Qiren said. “I am his guardian and his teacher. I do not agree.”

“I’m disappointed in you, Qiren,” one of the elders said, and Lan Qiren felt an automatic wash of shame, instinctive and ingrained after all these years. “You took the sect leader position with the knowledge that it would not truly be yours, and now you wish to preserve your personal power longer?”

I never wanted the position, which offers only power in exchange for its brutal demands! I still don’t want it! But to put it onto a child, any child, much less my own nephew who I love – how could I agree to that?

“You must not be selfish, as your brother was,” another elder scolded him, and normally Lan Qiren would be the first to agree. Being like his brother was his worst fear, and one he would do anything to avoid – but at the moment, the reminder felt wrong, as if they were using it as a tool to manipulate him rather than expressing what they really thought. “Do not cling to power and authority, after all. You cannot and must not steal what belongs to your nephews, Qiren. Never forget your place.”

Lan Qiren stared at him mutely. His place?

He had never been selfish. He had sacrificed everything – he had been filial and loyal, obedient to his elders, and they had taken everything from him, just as they planned to do to the two children that had been entrusted to his care. The only difference was that Lan Qiren had been allowed to live freely for a little while, and even that freedom was only because the elders had utterly ignored him in favor of his more talented brother, who had been protected by the love of his powerful father; for his nephews, who were all but orphaned and left only in his inferior care, there was no such defense.

This time, it was clear that the elders meant to rectify the situation – this time, they wouldn’t even leave Lan Wangji his childhood, let alone Lan Xichen.

They would hollow them out and leave them as little more than puppets, blindly obeying the rules without having the time to contemplate their meaning. They would squeeze out every moment of every day, turning each endless shichen into a joyless burden, transforming the rules into little more than a yoke to chain them – his nephews wouldn’t be Lan, who chose willingly to obey because they loved the rules and loved their sect and wanted to give everything for it. They would be little better than slaves.

Perhaps, Lan Qiren thought suddenly, it was not his selfishness that the elders were constantly seeking to correct. Perhaps it was their own.

He tried, first and foremost, to argue with them, but they did not listen to him. They had never listened to him, not from the first moment he had yielded to their wishes over his own desires and allowed himself to be trapped in the Cloud Recesses as the new sect leader. No – it was even older than that, from even before then, from as far back as when he had been small and helpless and crying out for help in his own way, not even knowing what was happening to him and why…

They had always turned their faces away.

Lan Qiren had tried his best to please them, and had failed. He’d thought the blame lay with him, but now he wasn’t so sure – now he thought that it didn’t matter what he did, that he never would.

Lan Qiren’s nephews were the ones who were small and helpless now, and unlike the elders that should have watched over him, he would not turn away.

The plan he hatched was ruthless in the extreme, but there was nothing else he could think of in his desperation. The Lan sect had always been very secretive, in its own way, keeping outsiders from knowing their personal business; although everyone within the sect knew that it was the elders who held all the real power, even if they disdained the work of it and left much of that for Lan Qiren to accomplish, from the outside it appeared as though Lan Qiren were sect leader, invested with all the powers of one.

To be a sect leader, in their day and age, was to be a tyrant.

No need to look at Wen Ruohan, the chief example of this trend, a man who made his sect kneel and touch their heads to the floor upon hearing that he was coming. It was enough to look instead at the Jiang sect, whose sect leader Jiang Fengmian whiled away his days waiting for his old lover to write, ignoring his wife despite her maternal family’s power and influence within his territory. Look at the Jin sect, where Jin Guangshan bedded every prostitute and poor young lady within range, surrounded by a cloud of rumors regarding whether he’d bothered to get all of them to consent – rumors there might be, but no one dared to make any trouble for him over it without actual proof. Look at Lao Nie, whose sect, elders and all, sighed and shook their heads over his excessive fondness for dangerous people, but could take no action to stop him.

Look at Lan Qiren’s father, who had spoiled one child into madness and neglected the other into near despair, and had trained his whole sect to accept it as a given. Lan Qiren was working to repair that damage, to lead by example, but it was a hard upward struggle – rot might start at the head, and healing, too, but the healing was harder than the rotting.

A sect leader, in short, was a tyrant.

And as far as the world was concerned, Lan Qiren was the sect leader.

Lan Qiren bided his time until the next discussion conference. It hurt him to wait, seeing poor Lan Xichen get stretched thin under his new duties and constantly reminded to keep a serene smile on his face throughout, seeing poor Lan Wangji so stressed at his brother’s misery and his own amplified lessons that he'd started biting people again, but he knew it was necessary. A discussion conference meant outsiders, and outsiders meant not losing face; it was the one time that Lan Qiren was actually treated as a sect leader by all around him, the one time no one would gainsay anything he said, even if they would later tear strips off of him in private.

It was his only chance.

"I have an announcement," he said mildly, presiding over the large gathering that marked the conclusion of the discussion conference. His Lan sect was the host of this conference, and he was accordingly seated at the head of the room, equal with the other Great Sects but given additional deference in view of the location - it was easy for his voice to carry, despite his quiet tone, and all the sects turned towards him to listen. They were probably expecting something anodyne, some additional prize or information about the weather to keep in mind as they departed. "I have decided that my Lan sect's ties to the rest of the cultivation world have grown stale, seeing each other as we do only at these times and the common people only on night hunts. As a result, in my authority as Sect Leader Lan, I intend to make a journey throughout the various sects, taking along my nephews to introduce them to your families. In my absence, the Cloud Recesses will be managed by my cousin, Lan Yueheng -"

Talk exploded in the whole audience, furious and loud, all but his own Lan sect which was calm and stone-faced as always, though of course that was only their pride and concern for face overwhelming their shock. Poor Lan Yueheng was the exception, of course, his jaw dropping open like a weight dropped from a great height until his neighbors noticed and elbowed him in the side to make him stop - Lan Qiren mentally apologized for not having warned his cousin up front. He hadn't dared to risk it.

" - and accordingly I will be leaving alongside the rest of you at the conclusion of this conference," he concluded, for once relieved that his voice never varied far from a monotone; he sounded cool and calm and in control, and like he hadn't noticed the way his sect elders were trying to strangle him with their gaze even as the maintained decorum. "Our first destination is the Nie sect's Unclean Realm, with Lao Nie as our host."

Lan Qiren hadn't warned Lao Nie, either, but he knew him well, and to his relief hadn't misjudged him - the other man didn't spare so much as a moment to blink in surprise, instead grinning broadly at the other sect leaders.

"You bet you are," he laughed, his voice booming and loud. "And don't think I'll let you leave so quickly, Qiren - not until your nephews are best friends with my sons, and not until you've had a chance to work your magic on my sect's younger generation and turn them from little beasts into proper gentlemen!"

Lan Qiren barely resisted rolling his eyes - he still didn't know who it was that had come up with the nonsense about him being able to turn the most hopeless waste into a gentleman, but it was rank exaggeration. But to his surprise, the first person to respond was the head of one of the more distant small sects, Baling Ouyang, a young man with an excitable temperament; he leapt up to his feet and exclaimed, "Will he really? Sect Leader Lan, I insist you visit my Ouyang sect next, if you haven't made firm plans - I scarcely recognized my little hellion nephews after a season in your care, all grown up, careful in thought and action, compassionate and upright...and no more pranks!"

Another exaggeration. The Ouyang twins had been troublesome only at the start, until Lan Qiren realized that what they longed for most was recognition as separate beings rather than a collective whole; as soon as he'd treated them with respect, and showed them how to act in return, they'd taken to his lessons like a desert to water.

"Sect Leader Lan's skill in teaching is very well known," Sect Leader Yao said, always first to speak after his friend from the Ouyang sect. "You'll really come to our sects to do it, rather than our children to the Cloud Recesses? And you won't charge, of course...?"

"Naturally no," Lan Qiren said, a little puzzled by their enthusiasm. Was it so expensive to send children to the Cloud Recesses? He’d never charged for his lessons, although he supposed there was the cost of travel and maintenance to the standard preferred by students, and of course guest gifts were customary, although he never made any demands. "I would be your guest, and enjoying your hospitality – room and board would be more than sufficient…"

"In that case, you should come to Pingyang next -"

"No, Yueyang!" someone else called, and before Lan Qiren knew exactly what was happening, the sect leaders were arguing over who he should visit first. The most enthusiastic were the ones whose children he had taught already, but the others were quick to catch up, loathe to miss out on what they perceived to be a good deal - even Wen Ruohan, never one to lose out to others when it came to something perceived of as desirable, extended an offer with a smug, snake-like smile.

Lan Qiren provisionally accepted all the offers with a growing sense of relief: with such public acceptance, the Lan sect would lose more face by refusing to let him go than in allowing his unorthodox action. It was just as he has hoped, and more successful than he'd dared to dream; the other sects had fixated on his teaching skills and in doing so had ignored the strangeness of a sect leader taking his heirs and all but running away from home.

That relief carried him through to the end of the meeting, when everyone divided up to pack up their things, and Lan Qiren returned to the inner parts of his sect to do the same.

"What are you thinking?" one of the elders demanded the second they were alone. "Have you gone mad?"

"Did you see the reception of my idea?" Lan Qiren replied, hiding the giddiness of relief under a facade of calm. "The sect will benefit greatly from the connections we will make."

"That's no answer!"

Lan Qiren was a filial child; even if they were wrong, he would not tell the elders so to their faces. Instead he only bowed deeply and said, "What's done is done. I need to get ready, and quickly; it would be embarrassing if we weren't prepared."

Of course, he'd already packed everything he thought he'd need, determined to take Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji with him no matter what - it was only luck that his plan had worked as well as it had, allowing him to pretend to some move of subtle strategic genius rather than a retreat out of desperation. Still, he needed to go through the motions.

"Fine," another elder spat out, although their demeanor made it clear that it wasn't fine at all. "But did you have to announce that the provisional leader was Lan Yueheng? He's completely unfit!"

By which they meant that he wouldn't listen to them - that he was brash and lacked tact, said what he thought and cared for nothing but his experiments, his wife, and his children. Out of all of Lan Qiren’s cousins, he was the most thick-faced, shameless to the extreme, essentially immune to criticism or guilt.

That was, of course, exactly why Lan Qiren had picked him.

"He's good at math and accounting, and at arranging provisioning," Lan Qiren said, picking the more acceptable reason. "That's the key responsibility left over, isn't it? Everything else, I can do through correspondence."

The reassurance that Lan Qiren would still be doing his duty to the sect - would still be accountable to them - helped settle some ruffled feathers. It wouldn't be pleasant to try to do the work of sect leader from abroad, Lan Qiren knew; it would mean a lot of sleepless nights slaving away by candlelight, with no support from any aides, bearing all the weight himself. No doubt the elders knew it too, and figured that he'd soon enough lose interest in what he heard them calling, in hushed voices where they thought he could not hear, his "little show of rebellion".

Lan Qiren didn't care. The sooner they left, the better the chances that the elders would continue to be deceived into thinking that Lan Qiren was doing all this for his own sake - some last stab at achieving his long forgotten dreams, doomed to inevitable disappointment - instead of what it really was, which was freedom for his nephews. They couldn't be assigned work or classes from a distance; their education would be wholly in Lan Qiren’s hands.

He'd take a thousand sleepless nights of overwork if it meant they got to be children a little longer.

"Are we really going to the Unclean Realm?" Lan Wangji lisped, looking even more rosy-cheeked and excited than usual. "Will – will Nie-gongzi will be there?"

"Yes, Mingjue-xiong will be there," Lan Xichen said, and grinned at Lan Qiren over his brother’s head. He looked more carefree than he had in...possibly years, and Lan Qiren briefly regretted how long it had taken him to do this. "Since you like him so much."

Lan Wangji turned bright red at once.

"Both of the Nie boys will be there," Lan Qiren said. "The younger one is closer to your age, Wangji. You can get to know him as well."

Lan Qiren went next to the library pavilion, looking for books on their sect rules - he might not trust his sect elders, but he loved his sect, loved their rules and traditions, and he wanted his nephews to love it, too. He wanted them to see the Cloud Recesses as a refuge, as a haven - not a burden.

He would give his nephews the freedom he'd longed for, and when they were older...when they were older, more resilient, more sure of who they were, he would bring them back and he would ensure that they obtained their rightful inheritance. In full, not in part - Lan Xichen would be a real sect leader, not a puppet for the elders, taught only to be pleasant and yielding and to perform well with his cultivation, swordsmanship and music only for the purpose of impressing outsiders. Lan Wangji would be his brother’s right hand, would love and respect him and be loved and respected in turn.

Maybe, Lan Qiren thought to himself, amused, they would even find some compatible child on their way and one day return to bring them home as a dao companion.

He couldn't wait to find out.

#mdzs #lan qiren #lan xichen #lan wangji #sect leader nie #my fic #my fics #beautifully spent

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elriell · 4 years

Text

Some jumbled up thoughts about Elain, Lucien and Azriel + Mating Bonds

There have been a lot of conversations regarding this topic and I thought I’d flesh it out a bit myself, but these are facts/observations that as a fandom many have noticed, discussed, analysed. I just wanted to dive in myself fully.

I want to talk about each of them individually as well as, as a whole. Their emotions and mindsets, as someone who loves all three characters and wishes for all of them to get a happy ending. I will preface this with saying I will be discussing why it is very likely Elain will reject the bond and such things, so along the lines of Anti-Elucien. If you are a fan of them, thats cool, just skip this one if you happen upon it.

We are going to dive in to the following;

Lucien & Elain (their choices)

Lucien & Azriel (contrast)

Rejecting the Bond

New Bonds

Fate & THE POV

and why the writing is basically telling us everything we need to know...

Lucien

Lucien is noble male, he has a good heart and has suffered his plenty, and this is why people want what is best for him, to be the happiest he can... Unfortunately I think that in this case Elain is not it.

He is right to feel that way, just as Elain has a right to feel as she does. I think it is incredibly interesting that when we finally see from his POV we see that in a way he feels as though this has been thrust on them.

That with his last love he had a choice and so did she.

It reminds me very much of this line about Rhysand’s parents, who were an example of an unhappy mating bond.

We will deep dive in to wrong matches further down, but the fact is that mated couples are not always indicators of true paired souls, that they very well could be the couple that do not end up happy together.

I speak on Elain and her agency a lot because I feel like a large portion of the fandom like to discard it as if it means nothing, and even judge her for it but if we actually take a look at Lucien’s behaviour he is not all that more happy.

There are some key differences between them though, Lucien as a male feels their bond to a different degree than she does, and he also has been raised to believe and respect the bond. And thus he feels a certain obligation to honour it in the best way he can.

This doesn’t mean he thinks she is right for him, any further than his attraction to her (which like same dude same), he hasn’t displayed any signs that they actually aline as a couple. And I feel like SJM clearly highlights this when she sets examples of his gifts not being... well right for her.

The gloves we know she never wears show us how little they know each other as she loves to get dirty [which Feyre had told him] and the pearl necklace is then contrasted by Azriels which was very personalised to Elain.

(The rose, the secret beauty of it hitting the light etc...)

These are all deliberate moves by Sarah to showcase their misaligned bond.

And during Elain’s section I will also be pointing out some Lucien moments that really don’t read well for him. I genuinely believe he is much happier amongst the Band of Exhiles than he is when he is seen with The Inner Circus.

Elain

Here is the thing, this situation isn’t any easier on him that’s true but people need to respect Elains feelings, and the fact is she does not like him. Not only does she not like him but she shrinks in on herself, she looses all the progress and confidence she has made since the Cauldron. That is not a good sign of anything healthy.

If this is suppose to be a romance we root for why is she doing everything in her power to make it seem the opposite? If she genuinely was playing the long game she would have at least started to make them comfortable around each other, goodness they don’t even have to talk, but she does the opposite.

She emphasises that he brings out the bad in her. Again, no bueno. She quite simply does not want to be around him and with SJM’s writing I think this is highly deliberate on her part.

[And let’s be clear there are countless quotes from the other books that do NOT reflect well on their relationship but I am trying to stick to ACOSF, as it is her most recent work, otherwise I would be here all day.]

Rejecting the Bond

We have almost a two page discussion on why mating bonds are not an exact science, and that they can be more harmful than good. We are given two examples of it, with both Rhys’ and Tamlin’s parents. And then we get a very subtle hit at Azriel. This is all in the book Sarah said she began planting the seeds for the sisters journeys.

We also know from this there is a choice. But that many force it, because they feel it it right, (much like Lucien is probably doing right now, because he feels a duty and hope that it will work out.)

Then we have the fact thrown at us that a lot of males believe that their mate belongs to them and will challenge the other male, which we now have a call back to with Rhys’ mentioning “The Blood Duel”.

There is literally not one reason Sarah would put this in TWICE only for it never to happen or come close too happening. How anyone can question at this point that Elriel will happen is confusing to me, she has laid all the groundwork for it.

Now I don’t believe for a second that Lucien wouldn’t respect her choice, I think it will most certainly come down to Beron forcing his hand to wage the war we know he wants.

I think despite what Rhys said in Azriel’s POV under immense stress, TNC will protect Elain and ultimately stand by her decision.

Not only does ACOSF spend a great deal of time creating a further divide between Elain & Lucien it also add a shockingly large quantity of easter eggs about “Elain choosing bonds” “Other Mate” “What if it chose wrong?” and again in this book like in ACOMAF we bring back up a failed mated pair to remind you of it’s existence.

All possible signs lean towards them breaking the bond.

And frankly from a storytelling perspective having three perfect bonds that are basically the same overarching love story (enemies to lovers) is boring, she would want to shake it up and throw a little curveball.

Lucien + Azriel & Why I think Azriel will have a bond with Elain.

“If anyone can sense if something is amiss, it’s a mate” And low and behold it is Azriel who figures out what was going on with her. Not to mention in the reveal SJM further displays that Lucien has no clue what was going on with her.

I don’t know what bridge holds their bond but I wouldn’t trust crossing it personally... :/

Further still, Lucien cannot hear her heart. Their bond is definitely not strong but you could also argue that is not an element of the bond at all but rather of her abilities perhaps. Since we know she could hear the sea too though it was nowhere close by.

But Azriel did hear her, he did pay attention and he figured out what was amiss.

It is interesting to me that people took such issue with this when I believe very few have issues with Rhys or Cassian fighting for their respective partners. Now I have gone in to it in depth about how I think that this was pure emotion and illogical on Azriel’s part, and I don’t believe he would kill Lucien so carelessly.

I think it speaks to the same blind emotion a lot of them have displayed for their mates, Lucien may have wanted to see if she was worth it but Azriel knows she is worth the fight.

And for all intensive purposes in that moment he was willing to fight for someone he believes shares his feelings.

Now let’s tackle the whole “Possessive” crap.

First of all, all of the male pairings in this series have shown moments like this, so if it is bothering you here why isn’t it bothering you at other points?

Lucien has been just as instinctively possessive from their bond, and let me clarify, I am not shaming him for that anymore than anyone else. What I am pointing out is the double standard, if anything Azriel has more reason to feel like he can fight for her because she has actually shown him care, interest and attraction.

They have actually bonded a lot more than she has with Lucien thus far.

And if they truly do have an upcoming bond then judging him on three paragraphs when we don’t know what the heck is going on is just ridiculous.

On the same note of that scene, let’s talk about “deserve”

First of all he never said he deserved her, Rhys implied that is what he was gleaning from the conversation and that it is just lust, which we know is not the case. Clearly Rhys perception is not accurate at all so to take his statement at face value and call it fact is a bit disingenuous.

Azriel wasn’t claiming he deserves her, did you read his POV at all?? He didn’t even feel like his hands should touch her let alone deserve her. Please go back and read that chapter again if you can’t see that.

Not to mention I think that the idea of FATE, and believing in hope even when the odds are stacked against you (AKA her having a mate) is actually very consistent with SJM storytelling and Az. Remember this;

The fact that he is hopeful despite the despair of his situation is exactly what people have valued about him. Not to mention after Rhys says this to Azriel he says to them;

So Rhys too believes they were brought in his family for a reason, some sort of fate.

Amren too thinks they are blessed by fate. Why is it so shocking and offensive that Azriel have a little hope that there is a reason they came in to their lives? Because he isn’t with your fav?

Let’s be honest he didn’t exactly get over Mor in ACOMAF, ACOWAR and then even ACOFAS there are slight moments, thats over a long period. Three sisters didn’t just arrive and he went TAG “I want one.”

No, he genuinely grew to care for Elain, and let go of his past, and in watching Elain not find any connection with her mate he saw it as a sign that the Cauldron was wrong, which we know it can be.

I don’t know if people are selective readers but if you think that he doesn’t care for her as a person beyond being a “sister” I don’t know what to tell you, we are not reading the same books.

ANYWAYS back on topic.

I think Sarah has laid a lot of groundwork for her breaking the bond and perhaps choosing a new one. I know not everyone is keen on another bond as they feel her free will and choice is enough, that’s fair and I agree to a point.

I just wanted to analyse the data at hand, and I do believe after ACOSF (I never thought it prior really) that they are mates in some capacity, whether that is because of the Cauldron or something that will occur... I think she has laid enough groundwork for them being Soulmates at the least. Hence why I love the idea of a Carranam bond.

There are so many parallels between Rhys, Cassian & Az that could be taken as little signs but honestly this is long enough I am sure you all want to kill me already for making you read all that hahaha

One last little morsel, it very well might be nothing but Az shouting after they take Elain is an interesting choice, it’s ambiguous enough that you can take it to mean the pain but it could also be another little crumb.

Basically with all said and done I think she will give Elain her agency back and break it.

And potentially something will occur with Azriel as a result but thats certainly more grey than the rest of it.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk!

Obviously, to each their own opinion, have fun and ship whatever you want these are just my thoughts on the text at hand!

(Also I am sorry I got like 20+ messages to get to in my inbox, yeah I kinda ignored everyone and worked on this today, sorry!!! I’ll be back tomorrow)

#elriel #elriel mates #elain archeron #azriel #acosf spoilers #acosf #acotar #azriel x elain #elriel meta #myelriel #anti elucien #anti-elucien

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snootsnoot-fiction · 3 years

Text

Your Gentleman

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: None really

A/n: My first marvel fic yay!!! I love that it’s Bucky as well☺️ This is a birthday gift for my dear friend who I love @inthatmomentwewereinfinite 🎉🎉🎉 you’re honestly one of the nicest people on the planet, I hope you have the best day you can ❤️

Summary: You haven’t seen Bucky in years…

The life of one James Buchanan Barnes was quite the tragedy. At least for the most part.It was a long, involuntary life, but to say he wouldn’t be the least bit grateful for the majority time skip would be a lie. Oh, there were things “Bucky” Barnes missed of course, but there was plenty to make up for it.

The man thought he would lead a simple life; serve in the war, get married with Steve as his best man, maybe even die of old age. A far cry from the fate that really awaited him, for he found himself being part of the Red Skull’s experiment. An experiment that began his journey as who would infamously be known as The Winter Soldier.

~~~~~

You were quite the artist to say the least. You lived and enjoyed a fairly quiet life as well. That’s not to say your talents weren’t sought out, for you were also quite the fashion designer. Sometimes you would simply consult. Create and draw up a design for someone else to make. Occasionally you would make the pieces yourself. It was an interesting way of making money, and you were happy to keep living your quiet life - your involvement usually kept secret in some way at your request.

Needless to say, one of the biggest things you ever worked on was the new suit for Captain America. You found his tale fascinating. You knew of the man, but it wasn’t until you heard he was back that you looked into him a little more. Strange things seemed to be happening more often.

The detail of his best friend’s supposed ‘death’ was another thing that interested you, but all anyone could assume was he actually was dead now. It didn’t stop you from wondering though.

You did work on occasion for people such as The Avengers, but aside from that, you were a normal citizen. So to say you were surprised when you caught the eye of Mr Barnes in modern day was an understatement.

Recognising him immediately, you weren’t sure what to do. He looked beyond exhausted, and it was clear to you he was trying to keep his head down. The man carried on, and despite thinking you probably shouldn’t, you followed. The next thing you knew, a cold arm was pinning you against a wall as the one and only James Barnes stared at you. Up close, his eyes looked even tireder, and you could see just how rough a state he was in.

“Why are you following me?” He huffed out. Anyone could see how tense he was. Almost afraid.

“I’m no-one I swear! I just recognised you and got curious… you’re Bucky?” He slowly let you go, but remained tense. “I don’t even know what happened… you look awful…” you frowned slightly as you gave him a proper look. You really had no idea what was going on, but you felt bad for him. Whatever happened to this man, you were glad to not know right now.

~~ a few months later ~~

You wondered how people would react to finding out about you helping ‘The Winter Soldier’. The thought made you nervous sometimes, but you knew what you were doing to be right. Something in you from the moment you met him told you he himself was at no fault, but of course, not everyone would see it that way.

The day you met him, you had ended up giving him a fresh change of clothes that would help him to blend in more. You had offered more, even a meal, but trust would take time to build, and he didn’t want to stick around you too long.

‘Too many innocent people…’ was all he muttered before giving thanks and leaving without a word.

‘I’m happy to help…’ you hadn’t been sure if he even heard you, but surprisingly it wasn't long before you saw him again; with time, the two of you built a sense of trust. Bucky would never stay too long, but when he did you would allow him to use your own facilities if he needed, You would make him a warm meal almost every time, and give him another fresh change of clothes if he needed them.

Trust takes time though, and you didn’t know much of the story of why he was even here. You didn’t want to push or pry, but you couldn’t help but wonder sometimes.

Today was the day you’d learn.

The old soldier hesitantly stepped into your home. It always made you frown a little to see just how hesitant he was; whatever it was he was hiding from, you wish he didn’t have to.

“I know you don’t like to, but I made my sofa up for you just in case-”

“Sofa? The couch?” You went a little red and chuckled nervously.

“Yeah sorry, I didn’t grow up here..” and for the first time, you saw him smile. It was little, but it was there. It made your heart flutter just a bit, causing you to smile.

“I might take you up on that.” His words were quiet as he walked in to see the couch. You had set a single, plump pillow on one end, and laid your biggest blanket over the piece of furniture. Bucky had been so hesitant to talk even one word to anyone, nevermind taking refuge from someone, but he couldn’t even remember the last time he had a nice place or spot to sleep. Not only that, but you seemed genuine to him. Deep down he knew he could trust you. Your smile widened.

“Are you hungry?” At your question, he looked back at you with a small nod. The tired look in his eyes made you want to really look after him, but there was only so much you could do and you didn’t want to startle him.

That night, you sat on opposite ends of the couch as you ate a freshly cooked meal, some sitcom on the TV. Eventually you decided to ask him what had happened to land him here. There was no pressure to answer of course, and you were more than willing to forget you asked if he didn’t yet feel comfortable to tell his story… but he did. You listened patiently and quietly as Bucky talked about The Winter Soldier.

Little did you know just how far you had already fallen for this man.

~~ Avengers Civil War ~~

After hiding for so long, Bucky had to admit there was something refreshing about now being out in the open.Of course, the circumstances were most unfortunate, but whatever happened, he would no longer be in hiding. Therefore he wouldn’t be putting you in any more potential danger. The two of you had grown quite close, and if anything happened to you because of him, well.. he didn’t like to think about it.

People like himself existed and had been used to assassinate King T’Chaka, and now the group his best friend Steve had put together were trying to get to the guy behind all of this. Unfortunately Tony Stark had created an obstacle for them. The old soldier could see that both men were somewhat regretful, but firm in their beliefs. Before he knew it, the fighting had begun.

Bucky and Sam Wilson had hidden in the airport terminal to start when this kid in a red and blue costume came at them. Sam knocked the kid away, so Bucky ran after them, and when he reached them, he saw an opening and threw a chunk of metal at the weirdly flexible kid. Naturally this kid was able to throw it right on back before being tackled by Wilson again.

Reaching the both of them just in time, Bucky ran between them as the spider kid flung himself at Sam, landing both the men in the floor below and his metal arm in some sort of.. webbing. The old soldier hated the fact they ended up in this position because of a child who didn’t even sound as though he had hit puberty yet. That’s when the kid was thrown out the window by the little robot bird.

“You couldn’t have done that earlier?” he growled at Sam, genuinely annoyed with the guy.

“I hate you.” Bucky merely scoffed at the response. They were in the middle of something big, but for a brief moment he found it funny that Steve’s new friend was this guy of all people.

Despite all this, you were still there. In his mind. With everything now in the open, he hoped your part in all of this was still in the dark. He just wanted you safe. To live your life.

~~ present time ~~

To Bucky, it almost felt like his past had repeated somewhat; to skip from one time to the other was confusing and frustrating. At least this time around it wasn’t as far into the future as the last time.

For you, however, it was a lonely experience. With The Snap, you had stayed behind. You lived out those five years. You had found a connection with this older guy you absolutely adored, and then you find out he was snapped out of existence along with half the planet. Lonely was an understatement, especially at the start.

At least he didn’t physically die - a fact you turned out to be grateful for when suddenly all those who had been Snapped were back. Of course, you knew the type of life Bucky led beforehand, so you were still worried, but you hoped with time he would contact you again. That hopefully things had finally calmed down at least somewhat in the world now.

Meanwhile, in the last five years you had moved to New York. With half the world gone, work had been a difficult adjustment for everyone, and you decided to start your own little business in The Big Apple; a prime area for you. It was just a little fashion/clothing business, but it turned out well enough to keep you afloat. Business got quite busy when everyone reappeared. It was stressful at first, but you managed to hire a few other people that helped. You were even able to start taking a little time to yourself occasionally in all due time. Eventually it became the norm.

With business and the world calming down, Bucky Barnes had been on your mind recently. You wondered where he was, if he was alright.

You were in your store. It was a weirdly calm day today, so you sat on a chair behind the main cash register. You heard the door open, but by the time you looked up, the person had disappeared behind one of the clothing racks. You thought about keeping an eye on them, ready to get up if it looked like they needed assistance.

“I got ‘im.” One of your workers said from behind you, offering a smile as she walked past you.

“Thanks.” You smiled back, watching her hover near whoever the customer was before looking back down at the book in your hands. You seemed to get quite into the book, because before you knew it, a shadow stood over you, but you didn’t notice until he spoke.

“Hey..” the voice caused your heart to stop as your ears perked and a weird yet pleasant shiver flew down your spine. You knew that voice. You knew eventually you would see him again, but it was still a surprise.

Slowly, you closed the book, and your eyes dragged up until they were on that same face you had last seen way over five years ago now. His hair was short now, but it was him alright. It was Bucky.

The man offered a small smile and wave as you stared at him. You had no idea what to do.

“Uh.. this your place?”

“Yeah…”

“You’ve done well.”

“I’ve had a lot of time.” Your responses were automatic. Your mind was blank.

“Uuhh..”

“Bucky?” You stared at him with wide eyes, your voice triggered a slightly wider smile on his lips as he nodded.

“It’s been a while.” His words made you scoff loudly.

“You’re telling me!” The both of you chuckled. The last five years had felt so long for you, but the two of you were already falling back into your old dynamic.

“... Listen Y/N.. all that old stuff.. The Winter Soldier stuff… it’s gone now.” His words made you smile for him. You knew how much his past had troubled him. You doubted it was completely out of the way, but you knew what he meant.

“No more hiding?”

“No more hiding.” Bucky smiled, a look of genuine relief on his face.

Just then, a group of teen girls walked in and your smile disappeared for a moment.

“I’m at work. I’m the boss but I still gotta work, we can’t..”

“I know a place we can go to later if you want? Catch up?”

“I’d love to! I close up around six today, we can go after then.”

“Perfect! I’ll come back and we can walk there together.” You smiled and nodded, too shy to say anything else right now. Bucky smiled before turning around, looking back at you as he opened the door to leave. You gave him a little shy wave.

You spent the next few hours constantly thinking about Bucky and finally being able to see and talk to him again. Excited was an understatement. You were happy. Bucky was back. You were always too shy to say anything about what you felt, but absolute adoration was another understatement when it came to that man.

The clock had finally struck six. Your employees were now leaving, and you decided to check the store, make sure everything was alright before closing up. The same employee that had helped out earlier that day came up to you as you picked up your things.

“Your gentleman caller is waiting outside.” She had a knowing smile on her face. She even seemed kind of excited and she stood there and waited as you blushed.

“Thank you..” you attempted to avoid her gaze as you packed the rest of your things in your bag.

“I’ll tell him you won’t be long.” At that, you offered her a smile before she left and you took a moment to relax before following.

Bucky wasn’t right there as you left through the front, but when you turned back around after shutting and locking the place, there he was just a couple feet away from you. A small flower bouquet in his hand. Your heart melted at the sight.

“I know you’re not much of a flower person, but I wasn’t sure what else to do.. You know… with the time gap and all.. But these are your favourites.” Bucky looked almost nervous. You shyly stuck your hand out to take the bouquet, your fingers brushing against his as you did.

“They’re perfect, thank you.” A small smile tugged at your lips again as you looked at them before looking back to the man in front of you.

“I’ve missed you Y/N.”

“Me too.. You that is! I’ve missed you, not myself.” You blushed as Bucky chuckled at your flustered self. He then held out an arm.

“Shall we?” You hesitated before taking hold of his arm with your free hand, a feeling of happy warmth washing over you.

“We shall.”

Tagging; @blondekel77 @book-hoardingdragon @mandosmimi

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan fluff #bucky barnes #bucky barns x reader #bucky barnes fluff #the winter soldier #the winter soldier x reader #the winter soldier fluff

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fandomficsnstuff · 3 years

Text

In Just A Second - 1

Legolas x Witch!Reader

(Warnings: None I think, for now it follows the story pretty straight, no real fighting yet, but this will be a new series!:D Don't worry I'm working on the other ones tooXD)

You sat patiently between Frodo and Gandalf, currently conversing with Frodo, reassuring him that after this meeting, he’d go home again, see the green hills of the Shire again, “you could come too, you know, I think you’d really like it” you smiled at his sweet offer “tell you what, I’ll escort you back to The Shire after this, then you can show me all the comforts of your home” Frodo gave a sweet but nervous smile, you could sense how scared he was, and you didn’t say it, but you could sense that he already, unfortunately, had a tie to the ring, if he had put it on, you knew not.

You were one of the only ones to remain seated while everyone else argued, and when you finally noticed Frodo getting up, it was too late, your eyes widening at his words “I will take the Ring to Mordor! Although I do not know the way…” you sighed and got up, kneeling down in front of him, placing your hands on his shoulders as you faced him “my dear Frodo, you will not go on this quest alone, I promise you that” he gave you a weak smile, and you got up, keeping a reassuring hand on his shoulder as others joined in, letting out a small chuckle as the Hobbits stumbled forward and declared that they were now also coming along, something that greatly amused you and warmed your heart.

You, however, caught the eyes of a red haired man, Boromir, who sneered at you “she’s not coming along as well, is she?” you frowned “and why wouldn’t I? I may not have known Frodo long, but I already consider him a friend, a friend who I wish to help in any way possible” Boromir scoffed at your answer, and you could see Gandalf debating if he should speak up or not, but you choose to instead, letting go of your gentle grip of Frodo’s shoulder to step closer to the man “I am an immortal Istari witch, apprentice of Gandalf the Gray, Mithrandir, so yes, I am coming along” you turned around, going back to Frodo’s side and giving him a warm smile, unaware of the familiar blue eyes watching you closely, eyes you had seen sixty years ago nonetheless.

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You were walking besides Merry and Pippin, laughing about their stories from the Shire, hearing of their pranks and small adventures. You felt eyes on you, but assumed it was Boromir glaring at you, unhappy with the fact that you were a woman, so you ignored it. “You’re staring, my friend” Legolas looked to Aragorn, the tip of his elven ears turning slightly pink as he looked to the ground as he walked “last I saw her, I remember thinking she was the most beautiful creature, a part of me thought I had died, or hit my head, that she wasn’t real” Aragorn smirked at Legolas, chuckling lightly “and now?” Legolas dared to look at you again before looking down “even more so” Aragorn smirked, letting out another tiny chuckle before leaving it at that, for now.

“My Lady, if I may,” you turned and saw Gimli, giving him a warm smile as you fell in his step, leaving Mary and Pippin, much to their dismay. “Yes, Gimli?” Gimli looked like he was struggling to say something, like he debated if he should say something or not, but finally settled on doing so “why are you on this quest, My Lady? It’s dangerous for a woman, perhaps-”

“Master Dwarf, I appreciate your concern, but I am quite capable of defending myself and my friends, Gandalf raised me, taught me all he knows and more, thank you for your worry, but I will be alright” you gave him another kind smile before speeding up, catching up with Mary and Pippin, who were overjoyed that you were back and willing to listen to their various pranks. As you were laughing at something Pippin said you looked behind you and caught the gaze of Legolas, your grin fading into a kind and warm small smile, Legolas forcing one in return, but it didn’t seem right, like he didn’t want to smile at you, so instead you looked ahead and continued talking with Merry and Pippin.

You sighed as you sat on a stone, closing your eyes, relaxing at your new camp, it wasn’t until you felt a presence near you that opened them, looking up and seeing none other than the blonde elf himself, you smiled at him “Prince Legolas, how long has it been?” he sat down beside you on the stone, looking over the landscape with a relaxed expression “sixty years, My Lady” you hummed low, nodding ever so slightly, not exactly knowing what else to say. “Seems like such a long time ago to me, ages. We were against each other last time” Legolas stated and you nodded in acknowledgement “yes, until Azog turned up. And I thought Elves just see time fly by, a lifetime gone in a second? And now, we are on the same side. I do hope you do not harbor any ill will against me?” Legolas looked at you confused “no, why would I? You saved my life, and perhaps, but for some reason, it felt like a lifetime to me” you shrugged “for some, that is not enough, but if it’s any comfort, it felt like a lifetime to me too” you simply said, Legolas giving you a gentle smile as you looked back over the landscape, he took the time to study you, taking in all of your beautiful features, everything from your (Y/S/C) skin to your (Y/H/C) hair and (Y/E/C) eyes, the shape of your nose, how your lips looked from this angle, you were more stunning than he remembered. “You are staring, Prince Legolas” you turned and saw a very embarrassed Legolas, mouth opening and closing in an attempt to form words, an attempt that did not succeed, which made you chuckle “do not worry, Legolas, as long as it has no harmful intent, I do not mind someone like you watching me” your words made his face turn bright red, as well as the tips of your own ears.

You and Legolas sat for a while, sometimes in silence, sometimes just talking, you enjoyed it, you enjoyed his presence, the company, even the small glances he gave you every now and then. It took all of your willpower to not glance at him back, you wanted to, that was not the problem, the problem was that last time you met him, he was a tad too arrogant, he was more cold, and, as you had heard and witnessed, he had eyes for a beautiful Ellith, named Tauriel, and you knew that Elves only loved once in their long, long lives, so you saw no point in giving in to your own desires. Too lost in thought, you barely heard Gandalf yell at you to take cover, it was only when Legolas practically tackled you and rolled under a bush with you that you were brought back to reality, your heart beating at an incredible speed as you watched Saruman’s spies through the branches on the bush, Legolas laying behind you with yours and his own weapons, you could feel his breath on the back of your neck, and you did everything to not let your eyes roll to the back of your head, feeling him behind you brought a certain warmth to places where it shouldn’t go, at least in your opinion.

You frowned as you crawled out from your hiding spot, turning to see Gandalf with a concerned look, but all it took was one nod from your side and he relaxed, or well, at least when it came to your well being. You turned to Legolas and sighed “thank you, Legolas” he nodded “returning the favour?” you laughed lightly, taking your weapons from him as he gave them to you, strapping them on “you have nothing to repay, my friend” you smiled at him before joining Gandalf, ensuring that the Hobbits were okay. Aragorn approached Legolas, smiling “my friend, well done, saving her from being spotted by those spies” Aragorn put his hand playfully on Legolas’ shoulder, seeing him scoff, half annoyed and half amused at Aragorn’s discreet teasing.

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You were helping Merry and Pippin fighting through the snow, your eyes occasionally flickering to Legolas, who simply walked on top of the snow, unbothered by the cold, “damn Elf, their light feet, damn them” you mumbled as you helped Merry go forward as he got a bit stuck, “damn him and his light Elvish feet, could certainly borrow them right about now” you mumbled on, cringing as you felt another wind blow against you, seeping into your bones, but that wasn’t what made you shiver, what made you shiver was the foul, maddening voice in the air, a voice you recognized, having met Saruman. “Gandalf!” you screamed as ice fell on top of you, rocks tumbling towards you as lighting struck the mountain, seeing the grey, or well, now white, figure being buried in snow shortly before you. Once you managed to claw your way up, helping Merry and Pippin too, you scanned the area as much as possible, seeing his hat pop back up, letting out a sigh of relief at the sight. “We cannot stay here, let us make for the pass of Rohan!” Borormir shouted through the snow storm “no! It will take us too close to Isengard!” you shouted back, watching Gandalf dig his way through the snow to fight Saruman’s chanting. You quickly fought your way up over the snow as well, hearing Gandalf already chanting, and once you made it somewhat out of the snow you began as well, your eyes turning bright white, almost shining, as you chanted, but it wasn’t enough, neither you nor Gandalf was at your best, you were cold, tired, hungry and worn out, while Saruman was probably warm, well rested, full and awake.

Eventually, you made your way for the mines of Moria, a place you knew Gandalf disliked greatly, though you had never been there yourself. You grimaced as you looked over the dark pond, it seemed almost black, tar like in nature, but it was just water. You flinched as you felt a hand on your elbow, turning and seeing Legolas, giving him a warm smile “sorry, the cold is still in my bones, I’m afraid, makes me more on edge” Legolas gave a quick nod in understanding. You kept hearing Gandalf try different passwords, eventually growing tired and sitting down to think it over, “how is uh… Tauriel…?” you cleared your throat and asked, your eyes on the pebbles under your feet instead of the elf next to you “Tauriel? She’s… good, last I heard, Captain of the Guard now, I believe” you hummed in acknowledgement “let’s hope this quest isn’t too long, you can then go back to her all the quicker” you offered him a genuine smile, but were only met with confusion “why would I go back to her?” you shrugged and looked down again, biting your lower lip nervously “I-I… your father said you… and I just assumed that-... I know Elves only love once in their entire life, so I just-... I can’t begin to imagine the grief she must feel, being away from you, as you must feel now, being away from her” you finally met his eyes, but all you saw were a frown and more confusion “Tauriel and I-”

“It’s a riddle!” you turned to see Frodo, walking over to him “speak ‘friend’, and enter! Gandalf, what’s the Elvish word for ‘friend’?” he turned to Gandalf, who looked to him “‘Mellon’” the doors opened and you chuckled amazed, looking down at Frodo “well done, Master Baggins, what a clever mind you have!” you leaned down and pecked his cheek before moving to go inside, ahead of Frodo, though you turned around hearing a scream, seeing Frodo being lifted up by a monster, your eyes widening as you got out your weapons “FRODO!” you instantly ran into the water, hacking at the beast to get it to release the Hobbit, with the help of the Fellowship it eventually dropped him, and you were one of the first to practically carry him out of the water, running towards the mine, only to be trapped in it.

You cringed as the light from Gandalf’s staff blinded you, but only for a second, you, with the help of the new light, got out a tiny firebug-like thing, it was about the size of your palm, it was shaped like a firebug but was made from some form of crystal, like the stone in Gandalf’s staff, though all you had to do was gently blow on it and it lit up, it’s wings began to flap and it lifted itself into the air, just like a firebug, staying in the air above your head. Gandalf smiled at you and you smiled back, he was the one who taught you the trick, you just managed to choose to add the trick to make it fly too, instead of just lighting up. You turned and saw the Hobbits staring at it in awe, it had a slightly different gleam to it, Gandalf’s was pure white with nothing else, yours was more warm, like a candle, but still held the same white light, you giggled at their reaction, ruffling Frodo’s hair gently, making him smile awkwardly.

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You were cleaning your weapons while Gandalf was thinking which tunnel to take, but you felt a presence next to you, one you recognized, so you simply smiled while focusing on your weapons, knowing who it was “Legolas, sit” you offered, not taking your attention away from your weapons, hearing him sit beside you “(Y/N)... I-... Tauriel and I are not together in any way” you frowned and looked at him, your cheeks burning with embarrassment “I-I’’m sorry I-... I just assumed, given-... I’m sorry, forgive me” your gaze went back to your weapons, desperately trying to forget everything right now, “I thought I loved her, for a long time, but… I now realize that I loved the idea of her, not her. She’s a great warrior, a great friend, but I do not love her, nor have I ever.”

You frowned even more at his words, still not looking at him out of embarrassment “I see, please, forgive me for assuming so earlier I-” you heard Legolas scoff lightly, cutting you off “there is nothing to forgive, you didn’t insult me” at his words you nodded and finally met his gaze, seeing nothing but warmth and understanding in his eyes, which made a small smile form on your lips, you were, however, cut off by Gandalf realizing which way to go, talking about following his nose, which made you giggle, you remembered him saying something like that to you once. You gave Legolas a warm smile as you got up, your little firebug still hovering over your shoulder as you sheathed your weapons and followed Gandalf.

Your eyes widened as you saw the vastness of the mines of Moria, how high up to the ceiling there were, the columns, the design, everything amazed you “Valar…” you mumbled, going over to a pillar and letting your hand fall over the curves and designs, a small amazed smile on your lips, though it was cut short hearing Gimli yell and run into a chamber, and as you followed your eyes widened at the grave in front of you, the one Gimli was sobbing in front of. As Gandalf read the words on it aloud, your eyes watered, you had traveled with the Company of Thorin Oakenshield for a long time, you were there when Gandalf met with Thorin at the Prancing Pony and gave him the key to the secret door. You traveled with Bilbo, you followed them out of Rivendell, you fought your way out of Goblin Town, you were there in lake town, you remember drinking and having fun before leaving the next morning for the mountain, you remember how sick Kili looked but that he reassured you that he would join you soon, urging you on, urging you to see the halls of Erebor. You traveled up the secret staircase, you volunteered to go into the mountain with Bilbo, though he declined, going in alone, you helped fight Smaug, you were there with Balin when Thorin had Dragon Sickness, comforting him, and now, here he lay, in a tomb.

You gently let your hand touch the grave, unaware of Gimli staring at you confused, tears spilling from his own eyes, watching you cry over someone he didn’t know you knew. “I said we’d meet again but-... not in this way, my friend, not in this way…” you wiped your eyes, letting your hand rest over the words on his tomb for a little longer before drawing your hand away, turning to see Gimli stare at you confused, you cleared your throat before sighing “I uh… I was with the Company of Thorin Oakenshield, I-... I grew close with Balin on that quest” Gimli’s eyes grew even larger “you’re… my father, Gloin… he told me of a sorceress that helped take back Erebor, told me stories when I grew up” you smiled sadly “I am pleased to hear I made an impression on the rest of the company” you smiled sadly at Gimli, receiving one in return, but it was cut short as you heard a loud noise of something falling, turning to see Pippin with a shocked and embarrassed look on his face, cringing as the rest of a dead body, and a bucket, fell down the well, your eyes widening as you waited for any other sound, hearing Gandalf scold Pippin, but nothing else, you almost breathed a sigh of relief when you heard it, drums in the deep, thunder in the dark, they were coming.

#Legolas Greenleaf #Legolas #Legolas x Reader #LOTR #Lord Of The Rings FanFic #LOTR FanFic

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book-o-scams · 3 years

Text

Ed, Edd n Eddy Series Bible (1996) -Analysis-

You can all finally read/download Ed, Edd n Eddy's official Series Bible right here! Thanks again to Chuckletons for sharing this with me and to Joey/Kongiscool0518 for sharing it in the first place, the Holy Grail of lost Ed, Edd n Eddy trivia!

One of the first posts I made for this blog was the Series Bible page. It was a composite of every source we had ever seen reference the series bible so far-- storyboarders in interviews, CN's old character guides, and the biggest source, an old CN UK posting about the show. Well, I figure now that we have the official source, I better update the old page (so everyone knows it's out of date), and make this new Series Bible post using the official source! Not much new information, but I was intrigued to finally learn the true phrasings of some things we had only heard paraphrased, as well as at least one detail from the movie that I couldn't believe came up this early in conception...

Unfortunately, Tumblr has apparently updated its post system to only let me add 10 images? Gonna try and only use images for what I need since you can read the actual document above, I guess I'll transcribe it too for easier reference and so we don't ever lose some archive of this.

Quickly, let's review what a series bible is:

A series bible is how creators pitch shows to networks. They can be called “pitch bibles” as well. Bibles do not usually get posted publicly, because they are initially under a strict Non-Disclosure Agreement by the network; also the creator may simply not wish to share it because it reflects the earliest stages of development.

The pitch materials typically include early concepts for characters, locations and episodes. Sometimes it exposes secrets, in this case, Ed and Eddy’s home lives, and sometimes the stuff in it is completely abandoned because it’s so early in production, in this case, casual references to school and adults.

Alright, everybody, it's time to gather 'round and read the Ed, Edd n Eddy Bible!

THE YEAR IS 1996.

YOUR NAME IS LINDA SIMENSKY. YOU WORK AT CARTOON NETWORK. A FRIEND OF YOURS, DANNY ANTONUCCI, IS WRAPPING UP A SHOW ON MTV. YOU GET THIS FAX.

Linda Simensky immediately fell in love with this concept because as a child, she was best friends with 2 other Lindas for seemingly no reason other than the shared name.

I love how Danny decided last second to pencil in the correct names over each Ed, since they're arranged out of title-order.

"They're friends because they have the same name."

-the Logline for the series.

Fun fact: one storyboard artist for the movie observed that the movie is essentially all about challenging the series' original notion that the Eds are friends ONLY because of their name.

"A Danny Antonucci Cartuna"

-the label Danny used to use under announcements of new productions.

PAGE 1:

Ed, Edd n Eddy

They're best friends because they have the same name.

A gag laden, beat generated CARTOON bumper car ride of 3 misfit youths on a cul-de-sac in the suburbs of America.

Through summer vacation, part-time jobs, or just hang'n out at the corner mail box, they want to belong....but CAN'T.

From home chores, helping neighbors or eating jaw breakers, they want to fit in...but CAN'T.

Ed is into "B" monster movies, model kits and is quick to break out into rashes.

Lots of luck...

Edd is into chemistry, biology and prone to crushes.

Later...

Eddy is into pranks, is stylish and flaunts himself to the world.

Ya Right...

Ed, Edd n Eddy is a show about confusion and contradiction, that awkward part of youth, pimples, big feet, oily hair and... girls???.

Puberty is unforgiving.

I was fascinated by the lack of art on this page, it makes the pitch feel very focused. AKA logo in the corner, the title logo again up top, then the logline appears again below.

I really love the breakdown of Danny's vision of the show. "Gag-laden, beat-generated, CARTOON bumper ride." Very accurate, and I think "beat-generated" is the phrase that interests me the most. I typically think of "animation beats" as sort of a give-in-- technically all things fit a rhythm, so all stories are essentially just a montage of beats. But this does make me realize how important the strength of the beats and their rhythm are to the pacing of a cartoon and making you feel like "that was a good one." I feel like the "seasonal rot" viewers feel over the course of a show, and the way that perception differs from person to person, depends on the type of beats you want. Even though I am very into the experimental beats of a show in its later seasons, I can definitely see how season 1's beats are more typically appealing to a wide-audience, and how important a focus on that is to the longevity of a show.

I found it really interesting how the scams are initially conceived of here as "summer jobs." It adds to the sense that adults were originally meant to be present. Honestly a little surprised nobody with access to this bible had ever thought to mention that-- scams are not referenced ANYWHERE. Their image in the Series Bible is that they have summer jobs and help neighbors, which is certainly a much cleaner reputation than the Eds ended up with in the show. Makes me realize though, were some of the early scams, like Ed's Hive Bee Gone and their newspaper routes, supposed to be leaning into this early idea of them with almost legit jobs for unseen adults?

I was very amused by the repeated phrase that the Eds simply CAN'T fit in.

Loved to finally see the official phrasing for the confirmation that Peach Creek is in America. Not much different than I was led to believe, but still nice to have the true quote.

Also love Eddy being described as "stylish and flaunting himself to the world." The bold-print reactions to each micro-description is a cute idea too, I truly wonder who we were meant to picture saying those things in reaction. Each Ed? Kevin?

The "corner mail box" is an oddly specific phrase-- the Eds do hang around mailboxes throughout the series, especially seasons 1-3, and I believe the canon map does have a corner mailbox, but the idea that the Eds hang out at one specific mailbox went the way of Bro's supposed secret treehouses.

PAGE 2:

Ed, Edd n Eddy

Show Description

Gag laden. True cartoon style, inventive, non parody, fast paced, stretch and squash

Beat driven. (even when characters stop they hold with a bounce cycle. Adults never bounce. Music can play important part, not just fill.) But not a musical.

Cartoon surrealism. (viewers see the show as Ed, Edd n Eddy would, less important things tend to blend into the background, while objects of Ed, Edd n Eddy's desires are focused. Premise driven.)

The school year's over, (yeah!!!!) and the long HOT summer vacation begins (gulp). What to do?

Stuck on a cul-de-sac in the suburbs of America is the last place you want to spend summer break, especially when you find life confusing and contradicting.

Ed, Edd n Eddy is about friendship, and serves to remind us that they're no "good ole days," just smelly runners.

You can tackle anything, when your with your pals.

Their days are spent, for knowledge, acceptance and some cash for jaw breakers. Armed with pimples, big feet and oily hair the three amigos trek into the unknown.

Ed, Edd n Eddy are dying to be grown-ups, but they're kids, and attack adulthood as only kids would. Simple situations turn into a manic rollercoaster ride. (Don't forget your barf bag).

They just want to belong, and they're willing to pull off any insane stunt to prove it. First they need to figure out what it is they want to belong to.

Found it interesting that on this page, the show's logo is replaced with the title written in a jumbled font. Seems like the font from the show's end credits.

Hehe, the continued reactions to the descriptions. Allow me to be Double D for a moment and point out the increased use of parentheticals on this page, as well as one wrong "your".

I love Danny's insight that season 1 is framed by the context of how hyped everyone still is just to be out of school, but also the sense of pressure to make use of their break.

I really appreciate Danny getting further into the details of his summary of the show's style on the previous page. It only makes sense that he had this much of a vision that early.

A second confirmation of the cul-de-sac being in America! I'm also really into the repeated focus on the Eds finding the world "contradicting." I always loved how EEnE's inexplicable cartoon antics supported that sense that the Eds are highly aware of contradictions in both societal things and the actual characters.

WOW, so I'm fascinated by this dual reveal. Before the wiggling outlines, which Danny usually calls a "boiling line" and describes as a tribute to wiggling inking in early animation, the series bible instead refers to him wanting the characters to do the iconic Fleischer "bounce," which is a much more commonly recognized rubberhose animation technique. Very interesting that Danny decided not to stick to that. Did it feel too out of place? Or was the overseas team not willing to animate a weight-shifting for every single held pose? Haha, guess I can see why boiling was an easier compromise. I wonder if he had any other ideas for how to make it more of a 1930s cartoon.

The other reveal to me here is that the movie's choice, that adults don't always wiggle in the show, was an idea from the very beginning! I guess I can better understand now why it's just too difficult to communicate a stylistic choice like that overseas-- no point making Bro not wiggle, that'd just create confusion.

Also, really disappointed that my wish for a musical is officially squashed in the series bible itself. That's a tragedy. The show's over, ya couldn't let me dream, Danny!? Conversely, I love Danny's forethought to say "non parody," I definitely noticed and appreciated EEnE's avoidance of derivative parody humor.

My spouse had to point out to me that Danny probably means sneakers here, lol. Canadianisms!

The comments about the Eds wanting to grow up but needing to figure out what they want to belong to are so great and relate to the movie so well. I've heard those comments before, but the correct phrasing was cool to see.

PAGE 3:

Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Ed in right corner)

Character Description

Attention deficiency syndrome.

He has trouble...

He can't....um...

OK, he draws all day in class.

When Eddy gets a bright idea...Ed's in.

Ed is easily talked into doing Eddy's "hard work". He has great physical strength.

Ed's happiest with his Model kits and B-monster movies. He draws his knowledge from his movies.

Ed smells. Flies are attracted to him.

Ed has sayings for all situations

ED: "you can change your shirt, and Bingo was his name..."

Ed's perpetually a slave to his younger sister's whims and whines.

Ed may have to baby-sit his sister, or let her watch whatever she wants on TV, or let her dress him up in mom's clothes.

Ed breaks out in Rashes. He's allergic to practically everything, especially Guinea Pigs.

Ed's Mom xerox's his sketches and doodles for her therapist.

Ed's Dad hopes to pass on to his son, his knowledge on "pre-owned" auto sales.

Very cute bit wasting the space at the top of the page. Danny seems very invested in Ed's personality already. The old sources we used to have definitely tried to condense these down to simpler blurbs.

Weird how Danny wants to essentially diagnose Ed with ADHD here (phrasing it very poorly, but it was the 90s and... Canada?). I don't know enough on the subject to debate it, but I still gotta point out Ed's canonical cracked skull!

Interested in the comment about Ed being most allergic to Guinea Pigs. I don't think that animal was ever even mentioned in the show. Eddy mentioned an old gerbil once....

Neat to finally have the real phrasing of the official word on Ed's parents! I saw someone comment earlier that this seems to be hinting Ed's Dad is selling stolen cars. I've never thought to question the legality of his apparent second-hand-car dealership (I imagined he works with Eddy's dad, who has received a legitimate award for his salesmanship), but those quotation marks are certainly making Mr. Ed's practices questionable! Best case scenario, Danny meant that more like italics or something, but maybe Ed's dad IS up to no good...

PAGES 4 & 5 (Ed's turn sheet and expression sheet)

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Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Edd in right corner)

Character Description

Edd

is really smart.

is really quiet.

Edd is unnaturally-- polite.

Edd hasn't been allowed to take gym ever since the Dodge ball incident. He's been excused to free study time in the library.

Edd doesn't like it when people touch his things.

EDD: "You may enter in my room, but don't touch my Lego robot. Thank you."

Edd's learning to play Peddle steel guitar. (his Mom makes him)

Edd's prone to "crushes". Girls in School, in his neighborhood, TV, anatomy books. He mails "true loves" his socks.

Edd is always ready for action, even though he can calculate the implications.

Edd constantly mumbles.

No one ever sees Edd's parents. They both work nights. They communicate to their son solely through Post-it notes. Edd's not allowed to touch anything in the house while they're gone. Anything.

Interesting how Danny slightly differentiates the barely-used space at the top here from Ed's description, to characterize Edd as more quiet and mumbly, adding an awkward "--" mid-sentence, perhaps to create the impression that Edd halts to choose words carefully.

Everything on this page feels familiar, from the character guides and other old sources. The most interesting thing to me here is that Edd's Mom forcing him to practice Pedal Steel Guitar is established this early, don't think I knew that, but I had noticed that it existed in his room from ep 1.

I love how the explanation in the beginning for why Edd goes along with their dumb schemes even though he's smart is basically just "he's always ready for action." ?!? I guess in a way???

That weirdly phrased Edd quote amuses me because it references Lego, just like the original concept background for his room before somebody nixed the copyright-namedrop.

Edd's prone to crushes thing has been reaffirmed over and over in character bios even though it really doesn't come up outside of the cupid magic in HPH and the pilot-episode heart eyes at Sarah that are barely canon. Still, I've always loved the truly disturbing statement that he mails "his true loves his socks" and how that managed to make it into canon with a comic book example, a cel animation example and a digital era example.

PAGES 7 & 8 (Edd's turn sheet and expression sheet)

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Ed, Edd n Eddy (image of Eddy in right corner)

Character Description

Eddy

Exhibitionist.

Megalomaniac. (quote from his report card)

Eddy is the unofficial leader of the trio.

He's always got a plan, a stunt or a weird noise.

Eddy's the "class clown". He loves showing off. He loves being the centre of attention-- no matter how stupid the reason is.

Eddy is the only kid in his grade to have been expelled for aw hole week from school. It was his turn to set up the video for science class. He switched "Our Friend Yeast", for a video he "borrowed" from his parent's room.

Before Eddy's brother went....away, he enlightened Eddy with the "legends" of the neighbourhood. Eddy knows where all the abandoned tree houses are, which sewer pipers are safe to spelunk, and the secret recipe for the "El Mongo Stink Bomb" (it's been in the family for years).

He is the one who is most able to pretend that he knows it all... and doesn't care what anyone else thinks about him.

His genes are working the fastest.

Eddy's Dad is constantly concerned that Eddy may grow up to be a ...figure skater.

Eddy's Mom never believes his little darling was involved in such a heinous act.

Funny choice that Eddy's wasted-top-space is just two one-word descriptions, and allegedly lazily swiped from his negative report card.

Wow, we knew the report card quote and the "Our Friend Yeast" story from the UK show guide, but now we also know Ed's page says that Ed draws in class, and now I realize that Ed and Eddy have series bible school blurbs to match Edd's classic dodgeball incident blurb. Anyway, it's great that Eddy's showed his entire school some sort of sex video his parents have.

Very interested that the phrasing for the Bro/El Mongo Stink Bomb blurb even seems to suggest it's a family recipe. Eddy's Dad did have prankster stuff in his closet in JJJ... did Bro learn his prankster ways from Dad?? The neighborhood's secret tree houses have come up in other descriptions (at best, I'd say this could be related to that creepy shack the Eds found in the woods), but I think it's new info that Eddy personally learned the sewer routes from Bro. Interesting...

Thankfully, I had already heard about the Bible's awkward reference to Eddy being the most pubescent as "his genes are working the fastest," lmao.

Once again the Double D in me comes out to point out that the description of Eddy's Mom seems to switch to the Dad's pronouns.

PAGES 10 & 11 (Eddy's turn sheet and expression sheet)

PAGES 12-14 (Sarah, Jimmy, Rolf, Jonny, Nazz, and Kevin lineup of all 6, then 2 zoomed in lineups of the first 3 kids and last 3 kids)

(Funfact: the kids' designs were allegedly freelanced to an outside studio, hence why their refined later-season designs are so different from these lizardy starting places, lmao)

PAGE 15: (images of Sarah and Jimmy next to their blurbs)

SARAH

Ed's baby Sister.

It's her way or the Highway.

She has everything done for her, if NOT she'll "make" them do it.

She can be quick to judge.

Whinney.

A tatrum for every occasion.

More than a handful for Ed...or Edd and Eddy.

Thinks Edd is kinda cute.

Wants Eddy to MOVE...to another planet.

JIMMY

Sarah's best friend

He is always playing with girls, boys are just too tough.

He is accident prone, when ever we see him he has a different affliction, ie: band-aids, patches, casts, lumps...etc.

He is very clean.

The Ed's frighten him, "They're such brutes".

I'm surprised how much of the UK guide was accurate to what was really in the bible for them! Also surprised Danny misspelled "whiney" and "tantrum," one right after the other. Is this how Sarah spells them? ...Sorry, Danny, I yam what I yam.

PAGE 16: (images of Rolf and Jonny next to their blurbs)

ROLF

First generation of a landed immigrant family.

Nationality not important.

He's proud of his heritage.

He has peculiar traditions and/or customs.

He eats "weird" things.

He has hair on his back..... "yuck".

He confuses the Ed's to no end.

He confuses the other kids to no end.

JONNY 2x4

He is a wanderer and very inquisitive

From early morning to supper time, he is always outside playing, with his buddy, "Plank".

"Plank" is a wooden board that Jonny drew a face on with a crayon.

Jonny has wonderful conversations with Plank. ...Plank is a piece of wood.

Jonny makes himself very "accessible" to the Ed's.

Found it interesting that Rolf's bio is less clearly phrased than the UK bio set it up to be-- there they made it sound more like he mixes up who the Eds/kids are, here it's unclear whether it means that or (more likely) just means the obvious statement that everyone finds him confusing. If it's that, what a lame hollow bio Rolf got. This kid's based on you Danny, show some of that personal side!

Always loved Jonny's description, his life sounds so cute. Playing outside literally all day. Interesting to have it confirmed that Jonny drew Plank's face, I preferred to think the Eds drew him and sold him to Jonny, but whatever.

"Accessible" has always been an important vague description of Jonny to me. It really only applies to how chummy they could be with him in season 1, but it still sorta applies to his personality throughout the series as well.

PAGE 17: (images of Nazz and Kevin next to their blurbs)

NAZZ

She's cool, calm and assertive.

She is the most matured of the kids, or so she thinks.

She's into make-up and fashion magazines and Boys.

Sarah thinks she's awesome, wants to be just like her when she grows up.

When she enters a scene, all activity stops... boys freeze, they sweat, their hearts beat faster and faster. They lose their ability to talk. When she leaves, they recover and conclude it was something They ate.

She thinks the Ed's are funny.

KEVIN

He is cynical and sarcastic.

He thinks he knows the "routine". That's because he watches "60 Minutes".

It got a big laugh out of me that Kevin's description is only 2 sentences long. Nazz even has a more detailed character description from inception than Kevin. Love this for them.

Who's the Eds' rival? Well, he's cynical, sarcastic and he watches 60 Minutes, doesn't that tell you enough!?

I love the "mature... or so she thinks" remark about Nazz, a grounded flaw for her to have, being a little overcommitted to being mature like Eddy. It also perhaps suggests naiveté that makes it a little more reasonable that they didn't notice they were dumbing her down at the end of the series, but I do think the movie version of her better reflects the Bible's concept.

PAGE 18:

The Other Neighborhood Kids

Lineup of May, Lee and Marie.

The Kanker Sisters

These gals are tough. They bother, bully, provoke and bewilder everyone.

They live in a motor home park on the other side of the Cul-de-sac. The other kids have never been there.

They are proud of their Tammy Faye Baker memorabilia.

Their project "Cooking with Ketchup" closed down their school for a whole week.

No one likes them, especially the Eds.

They are determined to marry the Eds. They want them to do their dishes.

Amused that the Kankers are essentially being labeled backgrounds characters here, the role they mostly fell into in season 5. "Other" neighborhood kids...

I love that the Kankers have a school blurb to match each of the Eds', and that theirs has similar destructive-intentions to Eddy's video premiere story.

I believe all of this was all known from the UK guide as well, but still, neat stuff!

PAGES 19 & 20 (zoomed in Kanker lineup and their height chart with the Eds)

PAGES 21 & 22 (early promo art that used to be on CN's old Eds webpage, the art of the Eds eating jawbreakers at the end of ep 1 with the overhead text "Ed, Edd n Eddy love JAWBREAKERS!!!", and the art of the Eds all running with overhead text "Ed, Edd n Eddy see something shiny...."Jiggers." That weird "jiggers" statement at the end was normally edited out and I don't know what it means. Looked it up and it seems to be Chinook jargon (like when Ed said he was "skookum at X's and O's") usually said in the same sense as "CHEESE IT!")

PAGES 23+:

The rest of the pages in that bible download are from a 2004 storyboard test. The storyboard sample "It's Raining Eds," which we've seen some submitted samples of before, interpretations with Ed attempting to fly or chew gum and Edd making radioactive gum, I was surprised to find out the outline is just the original outline for the opening sequence to season 3's 'For Your Eds Only', seemingly Jonny was not written into the original outline (or was excised for easier testing purposes) but Kevin's brief cameo was. Now I wonder if they knew this would be used for a test when they wrote it, and if they would've come up with a less random way to include him if weren't forced to be a concise bit for testing's sake. (Your limit is typically 40 storyboard pages in my experience.)

I also noticed that in the included background references, the anonymous adult neighbor house next door to Ed's is officially just referred to as a "generic house."

My analysis ends here, but be sure to download that sometime and enjoy all the raw storyboard sketches at the end of the document!

#ed edd n eddy #series bible #aka cartoon inc #aka cartoon #discovery #eene news

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anxiouslyfred · 3 years

Text

Created Holidays

for @dukexietyweek‘s final prompt of holidays

Summary: Remus used to create random holidays and get all the Dark sides celebrating them, but even though he tried to do the same when known, the holidays have stopped except for the ones on a normal calendar.

Today Virgil is going to change that, with Shelob’s birthday

Warnings: spiders, telling offs

/\/\

One thing Virgil had missed since being accepted and welcomed with open arms as soon as Remus was known to Thomas was the holidays, the celebrations, whichever you wanted to call them. It wasn't that the Known sides didn't celebrate things, but that everything was on a calender, predictable and in order. There were no mornings when you could come down to a bizarre breakfast and banners declaring 'Shelob's Birthday' or 'Cheese Rolling Day', or any manner of things Remus decided needed to be celebrated from films, stories, or random news articles Thomas might read.

He'd loved it when there was a 'Frozen day' weeks after the family movie night they'd shared, because it felt like the holiday were coming back. Except after 2 months Remus had stopped them all over again. He'd reduced them at first until they had just gone, and Virgil had no clue what could be influencing or controlling his friend to this extent.

Perhaps they weren't holidays with the traditions and history that Christmas or Halloween came with, but they were fun, and just a way Remus got his family to spend time together. That had been for a few years something Thomas wanted, that Patton had always been trying to encourage. Themed games and meals would only help with that, even if it came randomly rather than planned for weeks if not months in advance.

Still, Virgil knew something must have been said or done to stop Remus bringing his holidays out for everyone to share in. Whether or not he still held them in the imagination or his room was something Virgil kind of wanted to find out.

More than finding out though, he wanted them back, and if Remus wasn't going to do it, then Virgil damn well would. They deserved to bring their family time out from the hidden spaces of Thomas's mind and into the common areas, not matter what the light sides wanted.

With that in mind he began to plan, and felt some dark joy in deciding which holiday he'd like to bring back for them all. Patton would forgive him for it, surely?

/VR\

The first thing to make any of the other Sides suspect there was something different about the day was Patton's scream followed shortly after by his door being slammed.

It woke most of them up, and got the ones already awake quickly leaving their room to figure out what was happening, only to freeze in their doorways.

Virgil had only added a few spiderwebs and strands of silly string along the hallway, but in increasing density going down the stairs. It was only in the main common area that his decorations really took over, but before anyone other than Patton had seen them a delighted scream was ringing out.

“Shelob's Birthday!” Remus couldn't have moved faster if he was shot from the gun, but at least he stopped without throwing Virgil to the floor when tackling him into a hug. “Can't believe we haven't celebrated Shelob's birthday in so long. Better make this the best one ever. Hobbitsy Tacos and Limbus Bread for all.”

Virgil grinned, going to reply before a cough got his attention from the stairs.

“Remus, as I've stated before, there is not time enough in our lives to indulge in your-” Logan cuts himself off when Virgil starts hissing, eyeshadow darkening and growing down his cheeks.

“You don't have time for a family day, Logan? Yet when Patton suggests or simply decides to make a big dinner and insist on a family meal you drop everything for it unless there's a specific deadline to meet.” Virgil ground out, arms tightening around Remus, and moving them both onto the sofa.

Logan adjusts his tie, shifting uncomfortably in his spot. “That is not what this is. This is a nonsensical situation that has no reason to be celebrated beyond a whim of-”

“-Me! I did this because frankly following a strict calendar of celebrations is too many traditions and not enough family. Remus has always known how to bring our little family of Dark Sides into something fun to do with holidays and I was wondering why that had stopped when he was more than willing to include you all as well.” Virgil wished in that moment he could silence the others as effectively as Janus could, but talking over them to lecture their horrid behaviour would work.

Roman popped up then, seemingly having delayed reacting to the screams from 10 minutes before. “What the heckity heck, guys! A Prince needs his beauty sleep, and Remus I've told you a million, nigh a zillion times before that these-”

“That what? That you and Logan are the assholes responsible for Remus stopping trying to bring his family together? That you're the reason our random holidays stopped being created? Are you taking the blame for that, or should the next one play on your fears rather than one of the characters I loved reading about?” Virgil turned his glare to the other Creativity even as Remus pulled away to grab Janus and start cooking in the kitchen.

Neither Logan or Roman seemed willing to argue their points with Virgil combatting them so easily, clearly in defence of Remus. They share a glance though, silently frowning at the decorations around the room and remembering what had roused them that morning.

“Before you try to say I'm excluding Patton because of the nature of the event, I've already sent an apology to his room, as well as an explanation of what's happening; Specifically that I'm trying to bring something Remus loved to share with all of us back.” Virgil huffed out, catching the look. “Bad enough that you already try to treat him like a disease that shouldn't be listened to, you had to try and take away his version of family holidays as well.”

There are arms back around his waist before he could decide on whether they needed to apologise or just stay for the rest of the day. Remus nuzzled into his neck before twisting around Virgil to look at his face. “Games now?” He asked.

“Yep, games time now. What should we play to properly celebrate Shelob's Birthday?” Virgil smiles, posture completely relaxing as he turned away from Logan and Roman, leaning towards the coffee table expecting some type of game to be summoned to it.

Remus leaps over the back of the sofa, but remains wrapped around Virgil as an Operation game forms on the table, with the character looking distinctly dwarven. Janus is soon to join them, staring at Roman and Logan expectantly, although just what he's expecting they can't decide.

“Sit. Play. Some of these should be right up your alley, Roman. Everything is Lord of the Rings and fantasy or pure spider themed.” Virgil orders after a second.

/VR\

Through the day's games and snacks, Virgil had pulled Remus onto his lap, suggesting things they could do from previous times they'd celebrated Shelob's Birthday. They remained like that through attempts at cats cradle, passing the patterns made between their hands, and barely shifted apart when Janus declared the meal was done and brought out a pie that looked like it had spaghetti for the lid.

After the lecture from the morning neither Logan or Roman wanted to bring up the intimacy enough to ask about it though. As it stood they focused on doing a few things to include Patton in the day even while he was remaining in his room, too unsettled by the decorations to actually join in. It seemed to be the right choice to make since Virgil's warning and protective glares reduced as they carried on joining in with the holiday.

It was when they were all just relaxing after Janus over-ruled Remus's latest game suggestion that Logan finally had to ask, “So why did you decorate to such an extreme? I know you wanted to have Remus creating nonsensical family holidays again, but he has never decorated since becoming known more than a banner, and a few strings of decorations.”

“If there's one thing you need to know about Remus, it's that when he's accepted others have rejected a suggestion it takes nothing less extreme than a battering ram and a cheerleading squad to convince him otherwise.” Virgil snorted, shaking his head. “And there was no freaking way I was doing something that noisy, but decorations that are impossible to ignore? Well I saw how you all reacted to my room and I'm pretty good at it.”

“You used Patton's scream not only to get everyone's attention and figure out which of us convinced Remus to stop but also to make the point you enjoyed them.” Logan observed after a moment thinking through his words.

Virgil rolled his eyes, “Der.”

“And he's gonna help me make wonderfully unnerving decorations for my next holiday, aren't you, Aragog?” Remus piped up, wriggling back so his hair was tickling Virgil's chin.

“We better decide what it is early then, make sure I decorate for the right holiday.” Virgil replied, nuzzling his head down for a split second before getting dragged off upstairs. “Thanks for a great holiday. I guess we're heading to sleep now.” He called back at them, laughing as his arm was both yanked and bounced ahead of him.

There wasn't much planning done when they made it to Remus's room though, since the easy affection Virgil had finally allowed himself to show was now being reciprocated with wild lips meeting his, and bodies pushing each other against the door.

“Holiday planning can wait, We've got a better date.” Remus rhymed, beaming when Virgil just nodded.

At the end of the day, Virgil liked the fact they had the random family holidays back, but even more than that he loved his new boyfriend.

#dukexiety #dukexietyweek2021 #remus sanders #virgil sanders #protective virgil #logan sanders #roman sanders #janus mention #patton mention #made up holidays #cw spiders?

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kanohivolitakk · 3 years

Text

Since its 3Hs anniversary some really cool things I like about the game that aren’t talked about enough because the fandom is too busy arguing who is right and who is wrong

The worldbuilding just. 3H has honestly one of my favorite fictional settings. Its just both expansive but also genuinely interesting. I have spent HOURS thinking about the world and made so many ocs its not even funny. I love thinking about the setting of the game so much.

I LOVE the puzzle like way the game explains its world and story. Like I know some people don’t like it because it makes the game a bit too convoluted but personally? I LOVE 3Hs way of not telling everything but rather giving hints and clues the player has to piece themselves. It makes the games world feel more interactive and feels so satisfying. Then again I enjoy that kind of approach to worldbuilding

In general I love 3hs fragmented story and the way how the story is placed in many different fragments. It is geniunely rewarding to replay the game from another storypath and notice the foreshadowing Would’ve the story been probably better had it been just one storypath? Honestly yes. But 3h is ambitious and one of the ways it is is with its fragmented story structure.

The structure of White Clouds is criminally underrated honestly and gets way more hate than it deserves. I love how the first few chapters set up the world of Fodlan and show injustices/conflicts of the world with chapters like the chapter where you face off Lonato for instance. Then the next few chapters are spend in deepening the mysteries such as the conspiracy against the church and the mystery regarding TWSITD. Then Jeralt dies and the last few chapters are spent as “beginning of the End” so to speak, as things clears to the intense climax.

On related note I LOVE how the game handles perspective and how the lords are the respective ways we view the story. I know so many people say “WHite Clouds is same on all paths” but I do feel that’s kinda the point. The story is the same but there are differences that come from the way each of the lords is strongly characterized and has different values, worldviews. The subtle changes on what are focused on in each route also foreshadow what will be focused on each route, which I think is super cool.

Even beyond the lords and routes the game does explore the idea of perspective well. I do think 3h has this very “everyone is the hero of their own story” type of approach to perspective and it shows it well. Each character believes they’re in the right and you can get this view that they view themselves as right. Even Agarthans who are the designated villains have this sense they think they’re in right and that the Nabateans were evil.

The way how games routes being divided into having a different focus is very cool. I love how AM is a smaller scale personal tragedy, how CF is a battle of ideals and how VW explores the world and reveals deeper mysteries. I also love how all of these are related to the lords ideals and worldviews: Dimitri is the most conflicted of the lords so he gets the most characterfocused story focused on . Edelgard is the most ideologically driven so her path focuses on her ideals and battle of wills against Rhea. Claude is the one who is the most freespirited and wants to know the truth so his route focuses on revealing the mysteries.

Also the way the houses characters reflect their respective routes storyline and central themes: Black Eagles are nobles that have conflicting relationships with nobility reflecting Edelgards goal, Blue Lions are all united with the trauma of Tragedy of Duscur, and Golden Deer are a house of misfits who give this “ragtag group who will save the universe with POWER OF FRIENDSHIP and this cool gun I found” vibes which fit the route PERFECTLY

I LOVE how the game plays with and subverts a lot of Fire Emblem tropes. While it does play some tropes straight (dad death and evil cult manipulating behind the scenes) it does do a lot to break from series conventions and playing with ideas to make a more ambitious story. The way it either subverts expectations (The evil emperor being female well intended extremist, Rhea being the Gharnef/Medeus instead of the Nyna archetype she’s presented as), twists familiar tropes to their natural extreme (Dimitris arc is basically the natural extreme end of stereotypical FE lord) and other similar things make the game feeling so planned out, like the writers understood FE stories and wanted to make something that challenges FE while still feeling like it.

The way how every major player acts as foil/pararell to another player is so GOOD. Every faction leader can be compared to the other somehow and that just makes the game SOOOO fun to analyze, trying to find all the similarities and differences and pararells is so rewarding.

A more specific example on this is how i love how the game plays with the idea of holy/sacred weapons. While normally these weapons are artifacts from goddess that defeat dragons, here the holy weapons are bones made from dragons and just???? HOW METAL IS THAT????????? It’s just such a neat way to subvert the idea of sacred weapons. Rather than being blessed creations of the goddess, they are weapons of destruction made by the villains.

I ADORE THE GAMES science fiction elements. I know people say they feel out of place but personally, they make the game memorable for me. I still remember the first time I saw that scene with nukes. I especially love the heavy implication that Sothis isn’t a goddess but rather a powerful alien. It makes her character much more interesting

I know a lot of people don’t like Agarthans but can I just say their backstory being “forced to hide after their land got conquered and desiring it back” making them a dark mirror not just 3h lords/Rhea but FE lords as whole is SO FUCKING METAL. This is what I mean with 3H writers knowing their tropes like back of their hand.

I love how in Part 1 sometimes you’d talk to two characters in Monastery at once instead of just one. It’s something I miss in part 2 honestly.

I love the small sidequests such as the fishing tourney and White Heron cup and wish Part 1 had more of them, it would’ve made the school part feel more alive.

I LOVE how some missions (esp paralogues) have subgoals that you can clear to get better rewards. I wish the game had been more clear with them or even made them main goals of maps sometimes.

I LOVE THE WAY Paralogues act as small gaiden stories that show more of the games world and characters. Its a neat way to let the sidecharacters shine and reveal some neat secrets of the games world and story.

The gameplay loop is honetly fun and satisfying. It is rewarding and while it gets tiring towards the end overall its a good gameplay loop.

I ADORE the aesthetic of Shambhala. Its just so sleek and sinister. The cyrillic letters spelling different words is so cool. Shambhala is my favorite map in the game and the aesthetic is a big reason why.

The games soundtrack is so good!!!!!!!!!! But not only that I LOVE the way its electro elements subtly hint of Agarthans being in control behind the scenes. This is especially cool in Road to Dominion where the electro parts are barely noticeable yet present. but other tracks have subtle electro vibes as well. The other way the games music tells the story (such as use of leitmotifs or how the monastery music changes once Jeralt dies) is great as well.

I love how 3h can be read as an allegory for reformation era and reneissance. Its such an interesting way to read the games events and compare it to a real historical periods there’s quite a bit of f

In general I ADORE the cultural references of the game. There’s surprisingly lot of way the games world is based on real life and the details are just *chefs kiss*

THE GAME IS DENSE WITH THEMATIC IDEAS. Besides the perspective the game tackles ideas of how trauma can affect a persons psyche and worldview (as well how a persons trauma affects the way they interact with the world which in turn can affect the world as well), grief, societal values, historical revisiniosm and so much more. The game tackles SO MANY topics in an interesting manner, it is thematically just as dense as it is storywise as well.

I also love how the games thematic parts work in harmony with the story rather than one overshadowing with the other. Its super refreshing honestly where a games themes and story are both rich and I don’t have to pick one over the other.

Lastly I ADORE the games central message (or at least what I see as the central message anyway): The world’s fucked up and most people want to fix it, but what they deem fixing differs and because of that they go into conflict or outright war rather than trying to find a common ground. Everyone wants a better world but no one can agree what a better world truly means so they fight over it. It was a theme that not only resonates with my personal values but also hit me REALLY hard when I first played it as it’s a theme that I found incredibly relevant and reflective of our own world during the time I played the game for the first time.

So yeah. I made this post since there’s SO MUCH neat things about the game, its gameplay and story that sadly get swept under the rug in favor of either arguing which lord was right/wrong or complaining how the game is an unfinished, rushed and overambitious mess. Is 3h perfect? Hell no. But it’s a game that I hold near and dear to my heart and does genuinely SO MANY THINGS RIGHT, I’m sad no one talks about the genuine strengths the game has anymore, instead just complaining.

I’m not even joking when I say that 3h should be up there as heralded as one of the best, most ambitious and complex JRPGs alongside Xenogears, the first Xenoblade game, Suikoden and Trails series as whole along other such games. Its a shame the games reputation is less like those games and more like Persona 5s where everyone focuses more on its flaws and the fans being annoying than the fact the game does geniunely A LOT right. It’s just that good, ambitious game I love so much.

#Kirika Talks #Fire Emblem #FE3h #Fire Emblem Three Houses #Fire Emblem Meta

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primergon · 3 years

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Hey there!! It’s the anon that you matched up with Velocity in one of your latest posts! I’m a little late in sending this in due to some issues with tumblr (the app decided that your blog didn’t exist at all for some reason) but I just wanted to send in a big, heartfelt thank you for entertaining the matchup request I sent in!! I was seriously blown away by the details and effort you put in and your timing was impeccable as it really cheered me up after a rough day at work :,) You put so much thought into everything and I can’t help but wish to see how you’d tackle a matchup with a male bot for me too, if you would at all be willing to indulge me?

I was really surprised that I got paired up with Velocity and all the scenarios were so cute and wholesome that I couldn’t help rereading them again and again- I loved the way you characterised her and I’ll definitely treasure your post forever. Not to mention, it was my first time requesting a matchup anywhere so I was kind of shocked when I got the notification for it 💀 Thank you so much for putting in the time despite being busy and for this blog in general. Your writing really does lift my spirits!

My rambling aside, I was wondering about your opinion on fan gifts and if you’d like a piece of transformers related art? It could be an OC, a favourite bot or even just your persona if you’ve got one, anything at all. I’ve seen some blogs that are uncomfortable with surprise gifts and such, so I thought I’d check with you first to make sure. I just wanted to thank you in some way for responding so earnestly, so please do let me know what you think! If you aren’t up to receiving them, though, it’s absolutely okay! I simply wish to convey how grateful I am, so think of this ask as fan mail that you aren’t obligated to reply to/engage with.

- A very thrilled anon (ง’̀-‘́)ง ✨

A/N : Hello Anon !! Thank you for taking the time out of your day to write this for me, it does mean a lot! (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡ I'm so glad you enjoyed my work and I do try my best to put in as much detail as I can to make every matchup feel special. I'm sorry you had to go through a terrible day at work, but it warms my heart to know I can help make your day a bit better (｡𓎆 𓎺 𓎆)

Of course! I'd love to indulge you therefore I'll match you up with IDW Rung!

01| Rung is inherently a creative nurturer with this drive to help others. That is why he's the best mech to go to whenever you have trouble expressing your feelings. Rung is patient and encouraging, giving you this safe space that allows you to vent and understand your emotions. He's more than happy to take the first step forward for you. Whenever you isolate yourself, Rung would come looking for you, offering you his help. His concern for you extends professional barriers as he regards you as someone special to him. This sense of comfort and trust was one of the many reasons why your friendship eventually turned romantic.

02| He admires your love for philosophy. Rung is also one for literature and art, so conversation was easy between the two of you. You'll often visit him in his office to spend time together and it warms his heart to know that you approach him for company ( a lot of people only tend to go to him when they want something, so it was a nice change of pace.) You'll be reading to him your latest poem while he assembles his miniature boats. You like how versatile Rung was: beautifully handling topics that most people can't usually stomach. Thanks to you, he has started to open up as well. While sharing stories of his past with you, Rung's eyes were bright and loving.

03 | Although you are subtle with your show of love, it doesn't make Rung cherish you any less. The reason you make such a good pair is that Rung is good at reading people. He knows you're sincere every time. Both of you are more on the bashful side of showing your affection so there's a lot of blushing and stuttering. But once the initial awkwardness wears off, physical touch comes naturally. When in Swerves, the two of you will be holding hands under the table. Rung giving you silent support whenever you start to feel too overwhelmed with the crowd. He also likes stroking your cheeks and holding you close, always delighted whenever you give him handmade gifts. He tries his best to return the gesture: Rung occasionally surprising you with a bundle of novels and books he got from shore leave.

04| Speaking of shore leave, Rung would always take you to the local market to explore the foreign planet's culture. He was more than happy to go on a culinary journey with you even if he can't eat anything, as long as you were enjoying yourself that was more than enough for him. He makes sure to always keep an eye on you because he knows you like to wander around. To avoid being separated, Rung would insist on linking your arms together. Or when he does not have his mass displaced, Rung would carry you away from the commotion. Smiling at you in his arms ( he likes how you make him feel strong, although he's too shy to say it aloud.)

05| Arguments between you and Rung were almost nonexistent. As natural peacemakers, both of you loathe conflict. Yet, when problems arise, Rung isn't the type to shy away from them. Your perfectionism paired with Rung's sensitivity towards criticism may lead to a few disagreements. But it's nothing you both can't handle, especially when no one is better than Rung in finding a win-win solution.

06| Spending time with you is something Rung looks forward to. He loves watching you do art and is supportive of your passions, knowing you'll do great things in the future. Although Rung prefers your taste in historical fiction and comedy, he would sit through horror movies for you every once in a while. Rung has a difficult time accepting the love he deserves. For eons, he's spent his life alone. Now, Rung is more than happy to share it with you.

A/N: I hope you enjoy this anon! Also thank you for the offer on a fan gift (≧∇≦). I am open to fan gifts but you are not obliged to give me anything in return as I am more than happy to give this matchup !! (ˊ•͈ ◡ •͈ˋ) However, if you'd like, I will be more than happy and honoured to receive your present !! I'm very touched, thank you! We can talk about it further in the Tumblr chat or you can drop by my Instagram ( @/primergonn) for a dm. Or you can choose whichever is best for you and I'll follow. Thank you so much for the sweet offer Anon! I'm really thrilled <3 ＊*♡( ⁎ᵕᴗᵕ⁎ ）

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maybuds · 3 years

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Regarding the terf thing -

Oh man. This feels like history repeating itself, because something similar had happened with Artemis ( of violent waves of emotion) which led to her quitting Tumblr (or atleast served as a catalyst to leave this website).

If things were as simple as "because you reblogged from a "terf" account = terf" then oh boy. They are not. Expecting people to do their research everytime over a blog is also too much. One can try, yes, but how fine your comb has to be to know their ideology for a fact? I understand where the paranoia comes from - but attacking anyone and everyone over a reblog is not fair. Most people aren't going to sit here finely going through a blog, typing in keywords to know about things. Maximum one will go through the first 2 pages, hit follow or not, and move on. This attitude of unforgiveness, of carefully watching one another waiting for a slip up just to cancel them is why the internet has become a hellish nightmare. Yes you didn't know. Yes you apologized. Now what more do people want? It's one thing to be careful, to show care, and it's another to walk on eggshells. I hope folks understand that we are trying. At least most of us are, consciously trying to work on ourselves, weed out prejudices, educate ourselves, and be better and kinder versions of ourselves. But a little compassion during and after doesn't hurt. Most of us, or atleast some of us, are willing to do the work. Willing to listen, willing to change.

All of this reminds me of this - https://www.vox.com/platform/amp/the-highlight/22543858/isabel-fall-attack-helicopter?__twitter_impression=true

I've not read the Isabel Fall story, but this essay sheds a better light on what I'm trying to say here.

And lastly, you handled it really well. I liked how you dealt with those asks and spoke your mind. ❤️

Hi! Thank you for your kind words <3 And thank you for sharing this article too, I just read it. I have not heard of Isabel Fall and the Helicopter Story until today (I don’t have Twitter, and even when I did I mostly tweeted more about issues within my country’s context), but now I wished there was a way to read it! Even the Wayback Machine link I found doesn’t work anymore. But maybe it’s for the best, since Isabel Fall herself wanted the story to be taken down.

I agree with you about the paranoia and the binary thinking that happens in progressive spaces. Nuance really is running extremely low on social media, even here on Tumblr which is purportedly not on the same level as Twitter (the armpit of the Internet as my friend described it), and even with all the “have some critical thinking” takes that I see a lot around here, there is still a lot of binary thinking, the way there’s a rigid, simplistic formula of X action = Y conclusion when the reality is it’s way more complex than that and there’s often really no set one-size-fits-all formula to draw such conclusions. And most of the time, the conclusion is not that simple either. But we all fall for it once in a while, no matter how open-minded we might be or how much critical thinking we might have-- it is always just a question and constant awareness of trying not falling for it again. That kind of formulaic, dismissive thinking is also dangerous in a sense because it tends to replace dichotomies with other dichotomies which are just as simplistic. It is also-- as you said-- so unforgiving as to view each other only in an either-or way, and tends to alienate people who are genuinely trying to educate and work on themselves. (Yes, it is not your responsibility to educate them / congratulate them for educating themselves, and you definitely do not have a responsibility to educate people who are adamantly bigoted, but at least stop canceling those who are actively trying to do the actual work for the slightest-- and sometimes really benign!-- transgression.) It was tackled really well in the article, too-- the way the left can and do eat its own, even when (they think) they mean well. Are you really focusing all that anger on the right subject? Are you really focusing that anger on an actual harmful institution/system/powerful figure, or just some person on the internet who is just as defenseless as you are?

That being said, though, I can also understand this “paranoia” (not sure if this is the most fitting word for it) from trans people and allies when it comes to discussions that have to do with trans lives, because trans people live in a world where they do have to be on a defensive all the time. They tread on thinner egg shells more than I, a cis female, will ever do-- trans people are often literally never allowed to exist. And it is no illusion that a lot of people out there are openly terfs and there are people out there who shamelessly defend that ideology. Anyone a trans person reblogs or interacts with online could be someone who believes they should not exist and/or does not want them to exist. So being in online spaces like that still warrants a degree of scrutiny, a constant one on the part of trans people.

But again, identifying who might be a terf and who might not be is not always that plain and simple. And vilifying people based solely on an Assumption that they’re a terf/bigot or a possible defender/friend of a terf/bigot is really misplaced anger-- even when the anger itself is understandable.

#this is a long answer! sorry 😭#already a long answer but it’s really complicated so i still feel like i didn’t expound enough

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moonlightreal · 3 years

Text

This is the “author’s note” I found on the amazon pages for the pretty hardcover Night World books. My memory is that it was just there, the book-blurb at the top by the cover picture, was this.

Like a bonehead I just copied the text without grabbing a screencap or noting the date. The amazon page now has the publication date is December 2016 so this bit of optimism was just before Ms. Smith vanished. Of course we don’t know when it was written or whose idea it was. Was Strange Fate really finished or was someone just feeling hopeful?

NIGHT WORLD Dear Readers, It’s hard to tell you how much the re-release of the Night World books means to me. It has allowed me to come full circle, to complete a cycle that began with Secret Vampire. It has allowed me to finish Strange Fate, which grew into an epic that included roles for almost every Night World character. And Strange Fate allowed me to show the origins of the Night World, the apocalypse that threatens to destroy it, and even a possible future in which the evil side of the Night World prevails. I am often asked how I conceived the idea for the Night World series. It began when I wanted to write stand-alone novels that would combine horror and romance. But I wanted more: I wanted to do a series in which this Night World—a vast, secret world that exists within the everyday world—would slowly reveal itself to readers. That’s why the first book is called Secret Vampire: the inhabitants of the Night World, composed of vampires, shapeshifters, witches, and other supernatural creatures I wanted to invent, are hidden from humans. A vampire is necessarily a secret vampire … because of the laws. I also wanted to write about a new kind of forbidden love. That’s not easy—most good forbidden love topics were old by Shakespeare’s time. But with this series, I could create the possibility of forbidden love simply by saying that the laws of the Night World prohibit a Night Person from falling in love with a human. But I still needed one more ingredient. I needed the rise of the soulmate principle to actively force Night People to fall in love with humans, no matter how hard they fought against it. Voilà! Then it was just a matter of making up interesting characters and setting them loose in my head to see what they would do. I often begin like that: sitting in a quiet room and searching for a sparkle in my mind that could become my new heroine. Sometimes it’s easy and a whole character shimmers before me. Sometimes I only get the faintest firefly glimmer of a new girl, and I have to hold my breath and see if that glimmer will materialize into a three-dimensional person. Heroes and anti-heroes are easier. It’s just a matter of picking one that will be a true soulmate for my heroine. I have a whole collection of these characters in my mind, all trying to crash the party. And they’re usually bad boys. The settings and in-depth plot development are another layer of work. But often the characters just run off and do what they want, and I have trouble keeping up with their antics on my keyboard. One thing I always do is look carefully at my characters and plot from all angles to make sure I’m not plagiarizing a book or series that I may have read before. That’s just normal procedure for ethical authors: we make sure our stories aren’t too much like another story we might have read. Of course, there are many ideas that have been around since the Babylonian myths, and many characters that are archetypal. But, really, it’s almost impossible to take many things from the body of another author’s work—say, someone else’s character(s) or plot or story device—without actually intending to do so. I can’t imagine wanting to do that. I wish I could say every author felt the same. Poppy North is a character I examined very carefully. I wanted to make sure she wasn’t too much like Bonnie McCullough, another petite character of mine from The Vampire Diaries. I didn’t even want to plagiarize myself ! But Poppy convinced me that she was a tough little squirt who by high school had already planned out her future, which is very unlike Bonnie. Poppy was going to marry her mysterious friend James—she just hadn’t informed him yet. Also, unlike Bonnie, she had a fatal flaw in her small body. In Secret Vampire, I knew I was dealing with a serious issue: terminal cancer in a high school girl. So I did a lot of research before deciding on a type of cancer that would be truly inoperable and give Poppy only a month or two to live. I went to several hospitals to talk to nurses in oncology wards. I always brought toys for the hospitalized children, but the whole subject was so heartbreaking I was almost afraid to tackle it. Once I did, though, I found that Poppy was even stronger than I had imagined. In the book, she makes the only choice she can to go on living, and she never looks back. Poppy is one of my favorite girls, and she ushers in Ash Redfern, who quickly became one of my favorite bad boys. Ash has a murky past of womanizing and … well, more womanizing. Ash returns in Daughters of Darkness because he has been ordered by the leader of all vampires, Hunter Redfern, to bring his three runaway sisters back to their cloistered vampire island. But when Ash locates his sisters, he runs straight into the human stargazer Mary-Lynnette, and the sparks begin flying—literally. Mary-Lynnette is a character I made up when I was a kid, and I’m always surprised by how many people like her and Ash together. Mary-Lynnette spends most of the time expressing her feelings for Ash by kicking him in the shins, but their dialogues are some of my favorite passages in the whole series. Ash, in turn, escorts Quinn into the series. And Quinn (who does have a first name, though he rarely uses it) is one really scary guy. A vampire since 1639 A.D., Quinn is sharp, cold, humorless, and heartless. Unlike Ash, who is mainly guilty of an incredibly long series of one-night stands, Quinn enters the series as a human slave trader. That is, he provides vampires with young girls, and he doesn’t ask questions about what happens to the girls afterward. This led to a problem: How on earth was I going to redeem this villain enough to make him someone’s soulmate in The Chosen? I really sweated over that. My first task was to make Quinn more sympathetic. The best way to do it seemed to be by telling a bit of Quinn’s own tragic story: how he falls in love with sweet Dove Redfern, and how her vampire father decides to make Quinn his heir. Dove’s father is Hunter Redfern, one of the most important vampire leaders in Night World history. This is the same Hunter Redfern who, nearly half a millennium later, sends Ash to drag his sisters back home. The same Hunter Redfern who sends his daughter, Lily, after Jez in Huntress. The same Hunter Redfern who tries to turn Delos into a merciless killer in Black Dawn. But, as a boy, Quinn doesn’t know anything about the Night World, and he is deeply in love with gentle Dove. When Hunter makes him a vampire by force and then when Quinn can’t save Dove from being killed, Quinn’s heart freezes over. For four hundred years it accumulates ice—until he meets Rashel. That’s another favorite scene of mine: when Rashel, a dedicated vampire hunter since (guess who?) Hunter Redfern killed her mother, encounters Quinn. A group of Rashel’s fellow vampire slayers have captured Quinn and plan to torture him, and Rashel is left alone to guard him. Quinn, feeling old and tired despite his youthful appearance and great power, gives himself up for dead—and is a little glad to do so. Rashel, however, can’t stomach the idea of torture. When Rashel talks to this most-hated vampire and hears his story, she deliberately sets him free. And that astonishes him. But it’s the soulmate principle working its magic. I loved making two such strong-willed enemies succumb to the silver cord that connects them. I especially loved hearing Quinn warning Rashel not to let him go—and then protecting her when her comrades arrive back in time to see that she’s let him loose. I really loved writing about Quinn and Rashel’s soulmate sequences. As Rashel enters Quinn’s mind, she sees “thorny scary parts” but also “rainbow places that were aching to grow” and “other parts that seemed to quiver with light, desperate to be awakened.” She begins to think that people ask so little of themselves. If the mind of a slave trader can look like this, an ordinary person must have the power to become a saint. It is with this revelation (and much penance on Quinn’s part) that Quinn is redeemed. That’s the thread that binds all the novels together: redemption. The possibility of a second chance. Everyone has choices to make, but even the most evil of vampires can choose to atone and be redeemed. It may not necessarily stave off punishment in this world or the next, but redemption is possible. I’ve been asked who my favorite characters are, and the answer always changes because it depends on the book I’m writing. Right now my favorites are three characters from Strange Fate. As for my favorite couples in the published books? Morgead and Jez—I suppose. Who would find themselves at greater odds than a vampire gang leader and his onetime superior, a vampire who finds out she is half human? I learned some cool martial arts moves as a bonus for writing about them. Then there is Keller, one of my all-time favorite heroines, and Iliana, the beautiful Witch Child, and Galen, ruler of the shapeshifters: the love triangle in Witchlight. Keller starts out seeming brusque and businesslike, but the love of Galen and of the unselfish Iliana help to heal her inner wounds. And I can’t forget Thierry and Hannah, and Circle Daybreak. I created Circle Daybreak because the Night World witches had only two clans: Circle Twilight and Circle Midnight. Those, like Thea in Spellbinder, who belong to Circle Twilight are not-so-wicked witches (that is, they don’t want to exterminate all humans like the darkest witches, those who belong to Circle Midnight), but they are still wicked enough. So what was to be done with all these new soulmates, when Night World law said that they must be put to death? Someone had to make a place for them where they would be safe, and I decided it was Thierry, one of the oldest vampires, and Hannah, his Old Soul soulmate, who has lived hundreds of lifetimes without ever reaching the age of seventeen. They are the ones who revive Circle Daybreak, where humans and Night People can forget about past tragedies and concentrate on a brighter future together. Although Thierry is an old vampire, he isn’t the oldest vampire. There is one older, the one who Changed him. She provides another thread that binds the series: the pitiless Maya. Maya is the first vampire, the witch who finds the secret of eternal life—and chooses to use it for evil. But there will be plenty more about her, including a look at the young Maya, her sister Hellewise, and their mother, Hecate Witch-Queen, in the upcoming Strange Fate. And so now I’ve come full circle, back to Strange Fate. But I can’t finish until I add the other joy that the re-release of Night World has brought me. It’s brought me into contact with you by e-mail. Night World fans write so many intelligent, articulate, courteous, exciting e-mails! I love to get messages from “old” fans, who say my works “got them through high school.” Thank you for them! And messages from new fans, who say they have just read all my reissued books—and are impatient for more. Thank you! And the messages that simply demand: “When is Strange Fate coming out?” Thank you, too! With a full heart, all I can say is thank you, thank you, and thank you again! I never thought I would have a chance to write an open letter to all Night World fans, and I can only wish that you knew how grateful I am … for this second chance. Sincerely, (LJ Smith signature image) P.S. I love to get e-mail, letters, and messages. Visit me at ljanesmith.net!

#nightworld #ljsmith strangefate #strange fate #LJ Smith

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gainerstories · 4 years

Text

Fatter Exchange Student: Chapter 7

This is a community story with each chapter authored by a different writer in the gaining community. This chapter is penned by Feeder86.

Read prior chapters here.

Bleecker stood in the middle of the changing rooms feeling more powerful than he ever had in his entire life. Tonight’s training had been mostly tackling skills and he had gone all out. One guy stood to the side, rotating his aching shoulder, whilst another was stretching out his heavily bruised thigh; both of them having taken a huge blow from Bleecker out on the field.

“You alright, guys?” he asked; a sadistic grin wanting to spread across his face.

He might not be able to keep up with these guys when running, but with his added weight, he could throw them around like twigs.

In return, Bleecker received displeased frowns, making him chuckle a little to himself. He shrugged his shoulders, as if he were oblivious as to why they were so moody with him. He lifted off his sweat-drenched rugby shirt and caught the many little glances from one guy to the next, as they all took in the size of his uncovered, monstrously swollen stomach. It was getting bigger every week, and every one of them could see it. His chest was massive and muscular; stronger than he had ever been in his life. Yet he had grown a genuinely huge gut, fat-filled and bloated; creating a distinctive, ball-like appearance under his shirts.

Bleecker lived for these displays, willing everyone to look at his body and see how big he was growing. He pulled down his shorts and then his underwear, completely comfortable with his own nudity; enjoying making an exhibition of himself. And why not? He was the largest man on this team by almost one hundred pounds. He strutted to the showers, throwing his arms out that little bit more, to really emphasise the point. If this team was going to have an alpha male, he had no doubt that it would be him.

“Oh, you’re back!” smiled Sebastian, as Bleecker strutted in through the door that evening. “How was training?”

“Awesome!” Bleecker smirked, throwing his bag on the floor and heading straight to the refrigerator for his full-fat milk.

He lifted the gallon-sized container and began chugging it down, feeling his stomach bloat and swell. He swallowed and swallowed, trying to take as much as he could in one go. Then, with less than half remaining, he paused, lowering the milk and giving off a tremendous, roaring burp. Upon hearing it, Sebastian laughed and nodded in approval.

“That was a noisy one!” he smiled. “Someone was thirsty after rugby training, huh? I’ve never seen anyone take down as much milk as you can!”

Bleecker smirked confidently. Words could not describe how much he loved people commenting on his massive appetite and capacity. He could feel his crotch stirring almost instantly. But he loved it even more when it was Sebastian doing the commenting. Over the last few months that he had lived here, the handsome Greek boy had puffed up like a blowfish. That conventionally attractive Mediterranean body had altered beyond all recognition. The guy’s hips had packed on the blubber, ruining the previously slender butt and developing love handles that seemed to peek out of his shirts, no matter what he wore.

His face was soft and flabby looking, with massive fat-filled cheeks taking away his cheekbones, and a new double chin, masking what was otherwise a very handsome jawline. Sebastian’s chest now resembled two mounds of blubber, with pointed and almost sagging nipples straining against the material of his shirts. But below that was the best of all; a full and round pot belly that seemed to be swelling each and every day.

He wondered what Sebastian’s friends and family would say back at home. Would they be shocked and disappointed with him? Would they point the finger of blame at his new chubby boyfriend? Or, even better, would they accuse his monstrously-sized housemate for helping him to pick up bad eating habits? Damn! Even this thought was getting him hard!

Things were finally starting to return to normal between the pair of them after that rather awkward kiss. He didn’t know what had caused him to lose himself like that. Sebastian had tried to talk to him about it a few times afterwards, but Bleecker had shrugged him off; making a joke about being overly tired and a little hungover that morning. Felix had been around the apartment more and more over the last few weeks and hadn’t had it out with him for hitting on his boyfriend. There could be only one reason for that, Bleecker concluded; Sebastian hadn’t told him.

“Is Felix coming over tonight?” Bleecker asked.

“Not tonight,” Sebastian replied, shaking his head. “He has an assignment due tomorrow, so he’s working on that.”

Bleecker nodded, feeling both pleased and disappointed. It was nice to have Sebastian to himself, but he also loved seeing chubby Felix about the place. The thought of him and Sebastian having sex in the room next to him made him even more aroused than usual. He imagined their overfed chubby bodies touching each other, admiring their shapes and fresh fat. Not only that, but Felix seemed to be highly skilled at getting Sebastian to eat even more than usual, with the pair of them having incredibly greedy appetites; real, genuine gluttony that was only surpassed by his own. That was why both of them seemed to be packing on the fat at an ever increasing pace. Their clothes fitted awkwardly around their new flesh, unflatteringly hugging love-handles, back fat and moobs. Bleecker began to wonder what would become of them both if they both carried on this path; but that thought aroused him even more.

“Never mind,” Bleecker sighed. “I hope he gets it finished tonight.”

“I was going to order some pizza, if you wanted to join me?” Sebastian suddenly asked, as Bleecker began to walk away. His voice had a strange pleading tone to it, as if he were suddenly desperate to keep Bleecker from heading into his bedroom for the night.

Still clutching his gallon of milk and his stomach stubbornly full from the take-out he’d picked up on the way home, Bleecker hadn’t really intended to eat anything else tonight. But he’d made a promise to himself to never say no to food. How else was he going to keep upping his size and knocking those guys down on his team like bowling pins?

“Sure,” he nodded nonchalantly. “I’m always up for some pizza.”

An hour later, Bleecker sat, puffing like a whale in the lounge. If there was one downside to all this extra weight, it was these damned humid nights where he simply couldn’t cool down. Before the pizzas had arrived, he’d taken himself for a cold shower and now sat there on the couch in only his underwear, still feeling the creeping sweat spread across his large body. He packed two pizzas into his stomach, feeling its heat firing up the furnace of his gut, and he took massive swigs of his milk, until even that had gone. It was so freaking hot tonight, he complained bitterly within his own head.

“Finished already?” asked Sebastian from the other chair.

“Yeah,” nodded Bleecker, feeling the stretch of his own stomach and noting with pride that Sebastian was over half way through his own second pizza. The guy’s appetite had really come along since he’d been here.

“Try stacking the slices on top of each other when you eat. It helps you to get it down faster,” he advised the chubby boy, like a professional. “Is yours the extra-cheese option?” he asked, taking a peek, and feeling surprised to feel his mouth watering at the sight and smell of it.

“Yeah, double cheese and the four meat feast pizza,” Sebastian nodded, sighing and slapping his round, fat little belly.

Bleecker chuckled and smirked. He could remember the time when he too would have found eating all that difficult.

“Good man,” he nodded, wishing that the guy would take his shirt off so that he could see how round and bloated all this would be making his stomach.

He wanted to get up and get some ice cream, but he felt too aroused. Going in just his underwear had seemed like a good idea at the time, but now he felt completely trapped; unless he didn’t mind Sebastian seeing what all of this eating was doing for his crotch.

“Come on, Sebastian!” he coaxed from the sofa, as the chubby guy continued to try and push it down. “There aren’t many American guys who could eat all that, but I know you can do it!”

Smiling, Sebastian stacked his remaining slices and pushed them down. Bleecker could see that his roommate was uncomfortably full. Each chew was an effort and every swallow an unbelievable achievement. He knew Sebastian’s pain, for he too had trained his body to take these massive quantities. He was still training though, every day becoming a little bit greedier.

“That was pretty good!” Bleecker nodded from the couch, his huge arms spread across the back of the cushions. This was the only place he would sit in the lounge these days; right in the middle of the sofa, as if he was training himself to fill the large space. “You’ve eaten almost as much as me!”

Sebastian seemed delighted by the observation. “I’ll be big enough to play rugby like you, if I carry on eating like this!”

Bleecker burst out laughing, assuming that Sebastian was joking. “You’re serious?” he questioned apologetically, when he realised that he wasn’t. “Rugby?”

“Well, you like rugby, and Felix used to play in high school. But I thought you needed a bit of weight on you to play the game?” Sebastian asked innocently.

“That really depends on your position,” Bleecker considered. He looked at Sebastian’s body, wondering how well he could get around a field; not very well, was his guess. “Stand up,” he ordered curiously. “I want to have a look at you.”

Sebastian smiled and did as he was told; taking his shirt off at the same time. He stood there and tensed his relatively small muscles, concealed well under the mounting layers of blubber.

“Well, you’ve got potential,” Bleecker nodded, trying to hide his arousal.

With Sebastian’s shirt off, he could see every inch of fresh fat: the love handles, the nipples, the stretch marks decorating the skin surrounding his deep belly button. Not only that, but without a shirt on, Bleecker could see just how thick, wide and protrusive Sebastian’s butt had grown, above his flabby unconditioned thighs. He beckoned Sebastian closer and lifted the fattened exchange student’s arms up so that he could inspect his body even more. Damn! Look at those love handles!

“So, I have potential, huh?” Sebastian asked, almost flirtatiously.

Bleecker couldn’t resist; he’d tried for so long. He placed a hand on Sebastian’s butt and another on the furthest expanse of the boy’s tight belly; just marvelling at his new, blubbery thickness. This was what he wanted. This was what he was going to have. All this fat that hadn’t been there a few months ago; and who could tell how big he’d be getting within another few months?

“Not for rugby. Not a chance!” he clarified to Sebastian, unable to resist giving a little shake with his strong hands, making the fat ripple through the boy’s middle. “But you definitely have potential, nonetheless…”

“Am I too fat for rugby?” Sebastian asked, clearly aroused and seemingly desperate for Bleecker to agree with him.

He placed his hand over Bleecker’s fingers, that were resting on his gut, and then made them pinch around his new, lardy stomach fat.

“Am I too fat, Bleecker?” he asked, more seriously and flirtatious than ever.

Bleecker’s arousal was spiking beyond belief. Here he was holding one of the guys he had been flirting with for so long. This chub was saying all the right things and hitting each one of his kinks.

“Not yet…” Bleecker replied confidently, surprised at how bold he felt, even without a few beers down him tonight.

Then he squeezed Sebastien’s large, buttery glute and shook it, admiring just how soft and pliable it was getting.

“But… I can make you too fat, if you want?” he grinned, suddenly taking his hand away from Sebastian’s oversized butt so that he could rub his own, massive ball-gut. “I can make all three of us far, far too fat!”

Sebastian looked curiously at Bleecker. “All three of us?” he asked in confusion.

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