#but also I know Sydney regrets saying that shit to Richie no way she doesn’t

[rosewatergrapefruit]

you guys are craving a syd and carm reckoning I’m craving a syd and Richie reckoning we are not the same

[beauspot]

i feel like we talk about the way that sydney affects carmy and how she’s helped him but we should also talk about his affect on her. (i swear this is the last thIng imma say about them for now 😭) sydney over qualified for the job she’s doing at the bear, same as carmy, they both have these big plans for the restaurant but the difference is carmy is thinking long term where as syd is in this constant state of “we gotta go go go right now. now or never.” as she talked about before it’s part of the reason her business fell through, she got too big too fast. that being said she is also over prepared for most situations, for example showing up a a week into her new job with a 30 page thesis on making the beef successful. this is probably partly because of her personality since she(and honestly this applies to most chefs) is type A, but i think it also has to do with the fact she is a black woman in a field dominated by white men.

Now if you’ve ever worked food service you know that shit is no joke, people want their food and they want it cooked perfectly and they want it right away, they don’t care how busy you are, how stressed you are, it doesn’t matter and this in turn affects the way kitchens are run. people feel like they’re waiting too long they’ll leave affecting profits meaning people get paid less or fired. the more prestigious a restaurant the more is at stake because reputation is half the reason people go to expensive places. now the show is dramatized for sure but this toxic kitchen culture is very real and we saw how it affected carmy. syd has had to go through similar shit(while she wasn’t working under that DEMON that carmy was she still worked with a grade a asshole chef) while also dealing with racism and misogyny and undoubtedly sexual harassment. people underestimate and at the same time expect perfection out of you when you’re a black woman. people hesitate to give us jobs and then act the most harsh to us when we mess up. so syd feeling the need to do everything herself and taking extra measures and not being able to take criticism stem from a place of people probably having hid their hate in “criticism” so she takes it personally even if it isn’t.

anyways you might be wondering why i think this ties into syd and carmy’s relationship. basically it’s the way he treats her. he doesn’t baby her but carmy speaks to her so softly. when she has these huge ideas he doesn’t try to destroy them and make her feel bad for wanting more, he just kindly explains that they’re not at that place or he needs to think or she needs to be patient and he always makes sure that he reassures her it has nothing to do with how talented she is. having people constantly screaming at you or trying to make you feel small can do irreparable damage to someone’s psyche and that’s the last thing he wants to do, because not only does he respect syd, he cares about her, whether he knows it or not. he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings and as soon as he does he regrets it and apologizes. he doesn’t do that with ANYONE else in the show. the only other people he apologizes to are his sister and marcus and to be quite honest he does worse stuff to them than he does to syd. she messed up the system after he told her to check it twice and then he yelled at her(which wasn’t ok he already established that) but he still felt like she was the one he’d done the most wrong. i mean richie got STABBED and carmy told him he deserved it and he NEVER apologized. obviously there’s a reason WHY.

I’ve said this before but even in the midst of losing his shit(because of again a mistake that sydney made!!!) he stops to ask if she’s good, repeatedly. as she’s quitting he begins to PANIC. we see at the end of the season that sydney has ditched the rose colored glasses she wore specifically for carmy and we’re going to see where that puts their relationship next season as i don’t think this issue is fully resolved even though they’ve agreed to open a new place together.

wait edit: i’m not sure he ever does apologize to sugar. i think i just made that up in my head. he says sorry for not asking how she’s feeling which…i don’t know if that’s an apology really

second edit: he doesn’t just vocally reassure her he’ll stare at her unflinchingly until she confirms she’s alright and that THEY’RE ok

wait THIRD edit: someone on here pointed out that carmy is like his brother in a way because he looks up to him, that’s his hero and so he pushes people away the same way mikey did and that’s ANOTHER REASON syd is good for him. she pushes and she won’t let him do that shit, not with her

[eucatastrophe--x]

I was tagged by @laetiindisguise and I am apparently having a Writing Break (TM) tonight so here we go :)

rules; answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

THE LAST

1. drink: hot blackcurrant 2. phone call: one of my favourite clients 3. text message: if we’re talking strictly a text message then the same client, but my last message of any kind was @brionyjae being appalled at the fact that my colleagues do not have the same healthy appreciation for Inception that we do 4. song you listened to: Easy by Lionel Richie (I have it on the brain atm and have just worked out how to loop videos on youtube which is...more than a little mortifying but a great discovery all the same) 5. time you cried: about three weeks ago 6. dated someone twice: if you count pathetic 13-14 year old “relationships” as “dating” (lollll) then sure, but otherwise no 7. kissed someone and regretted it: yes (the same guy twice because clearly I’m a slow learner) and it meant I had to make a pretty major decision but I’m reasonably confident I made the right call 8. been cheated on: emotionally yes, physically not that I’m aware of 9. lost someone special: yes and if we’re talking about life-changing moments then that was probably the single biggest of my life (and not just bc of the death itself) 10. been depressed: hoo boy, don’t even get me started 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: nnnnyes but not for a very long time 

THREE FAVOURITE COLOURS

12. blue 13. yellow 14. green

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. made new friends: depends on the point at which an acquaintance becomes a friend (including internet acquaintances to friends) I think 16. fallen out of love: no 17. laughed until you cried: a few times 18. found out someone was talking about you: ahh yeah probably, but I don’t recall a specific occasion (most likely to be my boss so nothing Dramatic) 19. met someone who changed you: I don’t think so 20. found out who your friends are: I knew already 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: every day :P GENERAL

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I think there are only a couple who I haven’t met in person but I talk to them more than most of the people I do know in person so I feel like they don’t really count :P 23. do you have any pets: no D: 24. do you want to change your name: not currently although I’m not fond of my surname 25. what did you do for your last birthday: saw Wonder Woman and then had a meltdown and went to bed at 5.30pm (I am such a well-rounded and mentally stable person)

26. what time did you wake up: today? My alarm went off at 6.30 but I’m not sure you could fairly say that I “woke up” then 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: sleeeeeeeping 28. name something you can’t wait for: going to bed, the weekend (yes I am aware it’s only Monday), HOLIDAY IN 24 DAYS HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT. Also visiting family this weekend and hopefully seeing some very very little lambs! 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: about two months ago but I’ll see her this weekend :) 31. what are you listening to right now: why are you asking me this again?! Same song as before :P

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: of course 33. something that is getting on your nerves: not having enough to do at work which means I can’t concentrate on the stuff I actually do have to do and just end up reading fic on my phone... which is enjoyable but not really helping my case for a salary increase at the end of the month! 34. most visited website: tumblr and AO3 35. hair colour: sort of a dark blonde/a little bit copper in the right light

36. long or short hair: longggg 37. do you have a crush on someone: I think we’re a little bit past the crush stage but sure

38. what do you like about yourself:  ummmm. I have very long eyelashes? I’m not much of a fan of my personality so best stay away from that one ha 39. piercings: ears x2 40. blood type: O+ 41. nickname: Steph, Stephy (although use of this is limited to approximately half a dozen people, half of whom are related to me by blood) 42. relationship status: can’t think of a witty way to put this so let’s just go with LTR

43. zodiac: cancer 44. pronouns: she/her

45. favourite tv show: Castle 46. tattoos: none - I think about getting one periodically but I don’t know what or where it would go 47. right or left handed: right 48. surgery: depends what counts as surgery? Let’s just go with 5x general anaesthetics and leave it there 50. sport: rugby, rowing 51. vacation: I do not appreciate how ambiguous these questions (and they aren’t even really questions) are! Favourite to date would probably be Sydney in Jan 2016, followed by London when I was a teenager (although I was too incoherent with exhaustion to enjoy it as much as I should have), but I think both will be eclipsed by my trip in September :) 52. pair of trainers: white Keds (they make my feet look so small!)

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: had pumpkin and spinach lasagne for dinner and a falafel kebab for lunch 54. drinking: hot blackcurrant (still) 55. I’m about to: theoretically, try and fill some gaps in the next chapter of How The Other Half Summers bc I want to try and post it in the next week or two 56. waiting for: bedtime, the weekend, holidays, etc 57. want: this repetition is getting a little out of hand :P 58. get married: yeah, I’m a sucker for that unfortunately 59. career: apparently objectively I’m considered a “professional” (christ) but I still have no idea what I want to do long term...

WHICH IS BETTER?

60. hugs or kisses: both 61. lips or eyes: eyes 62. shorter or taller: taller (always!) 63. older or younger: doesn’t matter 64. nice arms or nice stomach: mm probably arms (although now I’m trying to decide if I like Seb’s arms or stomach more and am having quite a lot of difficulty) 65. hookup or relationship: relationship

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: my first kiss! 68. drank hard liquor: actually no 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: I don’t wear either 70. turned someone down: yes 71. sex on the first date: no 73. had your heart broken: not in a romantic sense 74. been arrested: no 75. cried when someone died: buckets 76. fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: no 78. miracles: I suppose 79. love at first sight: no 80. santa claus: no 81. kiss on the first date: definitely 82. angels: not really?

OTHER

84. eye colour: blue 85. favourite movie: depends on the mood! Wonder Woman is quite high up the all-time list to be quite honest :D

Okay, I’m tagging @wirkmood @brionyjae @biblionerd07 and anyone else who is equally bored and wants to do this :)