#but also bc i like vampires they're cool and lame

[duskwingmoth]

"But did you do it? They say you did it. So did you?"

W-what!? Why would I be killing people??? Why would I want to kill people!? Ignoring the fact that I'm literally a doctor and took an oath, think for a second – blood is a non-negotiable part of my diet and it kind of requires people to be alive and willing to give it! Oh I see, Dracula. It's always Dracula. Ooh, killed people en masse one time hundreds of years ago. It was one guy. One guy But suddenly all sharps are crazed serial killers forever, itching for the second they can get away with sinking their teeth into the nearest random blunt! (Yeah, that's what we call you! You call us sharps, we call you blunts! But I digress.) You don't even know. You don't even understand. I'd rather have a hundred Draculas over one limp centrist liberal talking about Nightborne rights! He knew we were in danger, and he did something about it! Because we're just people, asshole! People as scared and confused and clueless as the next guy, who can't even enjoy the luxury of going out for a walk on a sunny day. People who need other people to be there for them! There's no magic hypnosis, no freakish chimeras, no immortality. Your precious shitlib governor and every leader just like him is only mad that we have to work twice as hard to get half as much, and we charm the pants off of people in the process. Dehumanize us like you dehumanize everybody else, kill us like you kill everybody else. Get hung up on the one time we had a place by us, for us! Fuck you and your boogeyman Dracula. If a vampire is out there killing people I can assure you it's not just because they're hungry. I'd heard about that dead bastard, he was wanted on rape charges! Are you really willing to call the sharp the monster in this situation? Even if there wasn't any other reason he was killed than a in some kinda sick power play, what makes the killer any different from any blunts who did the same? You can "one guy" us all you want, I'll one guy you back! How do I know you won't kick me out of my home, white man!? How do I know you won't put me on the plantation, white man!? How do I know I won't be put in a cage in the desert, white man!? How do I know you won't let me die of a preventable STI!? Is that what you'll do to me? To us?? For one murder I didn't commit? For history you don't care to learn??? Fuck you and your sunny days.

[andro-dino]

heya, I think your vampire and school au for takasakyo pretty cool and want you to ramble more about it. mfb school au's are endlessly hilarious to me, so how are they're doing?

WOOOO YEAHHHHH I LOVE TALKING ABOUT THIS AU‼️‼️‼️‼️ I will start by saying the first thing I made for it was this fic (which was originally gonna be a mini comic but I didn’t feel like drawing it)

I’m pretty sure I came up with this au in the first place just bc I was thinking a little bit too hard about sakyo’s fangs and then that led my brain to go to vampires, and now we’re here. The thing that I thought abt that I find really amusing (which is what mostly inspired the fic) is like, a subversion of the usual vampire trope of biting on the neck, bc when you really think about that, tis a tad bit intimate and also probably not the most convenient, so I had it so that Sakyo bites Takanosuke on his arm instead (much to taka’s surprise). I also did that kinda thinking about like, actual blood drives and stuff, and I’ve personally never donated blood but they have opportunities to do so at my school sometimes and I know they always give people like snacks and juice afterwards, so I thought it’d be cute to have Sakyo do that to.

In general Sakyo’s character is probably the thing that’s most different in this whole au because although I tried to translate some of his actual character arc and motivations into the context of him being a vampire, it’s a very different lens overall. and like also yk it’s just me making Sakyo a lot cuter just for my own funsies BUT THATS THE LESS IMPORTANT PART. in the actual series his motivations are a lot more “because I’ve inherited dragoon and am ryugas successor it’s my destiny to Cause Problems On Purpose and be stronger than everyone and fuck everyone else up and be a loner and I’m gonna take pride in that,” but vamp Sakyo feels a lot more shame in being a vampire so his motivations are more like “it is my destiny to be this horrible monster and despite the fact that I don’t really like most people anyways, I don’t really wanna cause any real harm either so I’m gonna Cause Problems On Purpose so that they stay away” yk. And also again the aspect of him not drinking blood often basically makes him hangry like all the time so that also adds to the Issues.

I feel like the context I’ve built up in my head is kinda vague in all the ways I’ve tried to post about it but like, the idea was that similar to the anime, in Sakyo’s pursuit of causing problems and just being a general asshole, all the same people who he battled during his introduction also got into trouble with Sakyo at some point during the school year. I made this joke to some friends I was telling about this au but like, Sakyo through and through is a dorkass loser. In the show, people take him seriously bc he has the bey and the power to back it up, but outside of that he is SO lame and such an edgy teenager, and in this au, he has the exact same attitude he usually does except now he doesn’t actually physically fight people to the same degree so everyone basically just sees him as this edgy emo asshole who hisses at people in the hallways yk. And so everyone just kinda avoids him bc nobody likes him. Except for Takanosuke that is, who still has his whole thing with Sakyo and ren, and similarly, becomes intrigued with Sakyo afterwards. Call it intuition or something, but immediately after actually having an interaction with Sakyo, he can sense that there’s something else that he’s not letting on. That’s when he starts following Sakyo and trying to talk to him, but Sakyo continually ignores him. It’s after school one day where he finds Sakyo in like, an alley or something, basically doing as bad as he could possibly be doing, and at this point Takanosuke’s already been connecting some of the dots, but seeing Sakyo as he sees him there is the final confirmation in the realization that he’s a vampire, and that kinda explains a lot for takanosuke. It makes all of Sakyo’s strange behavior and aggression make sense to him and he also realizes, seeing the state Sakyo’s in, that he’s really just hungry, and feels compelled to help. That’s when they make their whole deal and their friendship begins.

It’s funny because Sakyo has like absolutely no idea how to go about any of this now, both because he hasn’t really had a friend in like ever, but now that he has a steady source of blood, he doesn’t really need to be doing like everything that he’s been doing, and doesn’t really know how to go about that. At school, he really only hangs out with Takanosuke now, and basically everyone else has taken notice to it and how he’s basically changed completely pretty much over night. A lot of people start drawing their own conclusions. If Takanosuke’s with his other friends, Sakyo usually stays on his own somewhere else, unless he really needs a refill, in which case he and takanosuke will go off on their own somewhere so that no one else sees that. Everyone else still has no fucking clue that Sakyo’s a vampire. This does not help with the conclusions (I really wanna make a mini comic about this too)

In general, the two become pretty attached at the hip for the most part. Their arrangement basically bonds them for life in vampire culture or whatever, and in turn, Sakyo becomes pretty protective of Takanosuke. I think it’s both an instinctual “defending my food” kind of thing, but also a way of keeping their deal even. Takanosuke gives Sakyo blood, and in turn, Sakyo becomes very loyal to Takanosuke. This is mostly where the “uncharacteristically cute and caring” Sakyo characterization comes in. This is another one I wanna draw but this not only comes in the extremes of “is this guy bothering you do you want me to kill him for you,” but also in little ways, such as the post-bloodsucking juice boxes, Sakyo offering to carry Taka’s bag or walk him home, general things like that. It kinda catches takanosuke off guard bc he really wasn’t expecting much in return, but Sakyo insists on it. And again, to people with zero context of their dynamic, this is all VERY interesting.

Thinking about later down the line, although idk how it’d really happen, I think Zyro being Zyro would eventually find out about Sakyo being a vampire as well and help him out if he ever needed it. Perhaps it could start a chain reaction of people suddenly becoming a lot more tolerable of Sakyo, ensuing even more kooky hijinks involving Sakyo suddenly needing to understand how to have a social life

[lateral-org]

Wait that was a stupid question I want a do over. Which Supernatural character would you permanently evict from the plot if you had to pick one?

OH MY GOD *cracks knuckles*

what an unexpectedly difficult question!! this depends soooo much on which season bc each one had dumbass characters and characters got worse/better depending on the season. also, because it's such a long show, i've evicted a lot of characters from my memory anyway so the only guys i remember are faves.

for late seasons, kaia is an obvious choice because (from what i've read at least) she's a poorly researched racist stereotype. not cool spn, don't do that, thx. (this also applies to most minority characters unfortunately but kaia is the most offensive/blatant example which is depressing)

honestly the whole apocalypse world cast/season 13 in general. i don't like seeing the new versions of guys i used to like and then needing to remember they're actually different guys with different memories. it's boring and reduces risk to the main cast.

for earlier seasons, gadreel and/or dorothy. FUCK gadreel, literally get him out of here. i don't care if he was 'helping sam', he's homophobic and LAME okay get him away. dorothy i just thought wasn't fleshed out. like they wanted to give charlie a fantasy gf which, valid, but also like. what was that plotline. am i the only one who thought that was out of nowhere???

also any version of lucifer played by mark pellegrino post season 5. problematic actor + overused character + lame execution + L + ratio.

last probably jenny the vampire. we get rid of her then we get rid of the finale, i feel like that's a worthy trade.

[deathgift]

stra.nger thi.ngs verse shit (one day i'll do this in a less dogshit way):

season 1

15-16. sophomore. moves from los angeles to hawkins after the divorce and gym fire with her mom and sister. 100% 1v1s the demogorgon at least once. 100% accidentally outs herself as the slayer to willow, xander, nancy and jonathan at MINIMUM. was at the house with the teens at the end of the season trying to fight it there so oops thinks el's death is her fault

season 2

16-17. IMMEDIATELY LOCKS ON TO BILLY AND MAX. they're from cali! she's from cali! they can complain about how cold and miserable it is here and how there's no cool places to shop or hang out!!!! was at the halloween party. was excited to have a fun night off then there was the whole Break Up thing AND she had to stop a DEMON ATTACK!!! so lame. probably went to the rift with hopper and eleven bc lbr that just makes sense. dawn was at the house tho. also spike and dru probably show up around now bc let's just make things MORE complicated.

the feburary after all this (so it's kinda between s2 and 3) all the angelus stuff happens. so basically her boyfriend reverts to being vampire han.nib.al lec.tor, stalks her, kills a bunch of people and she has to kill him to save the world. then goes on a bit of a Crisis Vacay to like, Chicago. rip.

season 3

16-17. comes back from her Crisis Trip just in time for The Horrors. honestly the WHOLE thing goes SOOOO different. like the sauna test is WILDLY different. she just gets in there WITH HIM and HOLDS HIM THE FUCK DOWN bc slayer strength > flayed strength. like i'm sorry i know having her here for this and changing things so intensely is a PAIN but by including her you agreed on principle to wild plot changes and this is like, THE SEASON for solving things with violence. next season she can't do SHIT. also i'm replacing mayor kline with mayor wilkins mainly bc i just like wilkins more. he's just better at being mayor.

season 4

17-18. aka the season where willow does all the work and buffy just looks pretty and is moral support in the background until the final battle where she can actually beat someone up. it'd be funny to see creel try to get into her head bc it's so fucking cursed as it is but she's not QUITE depressed enough YET. also faith is here because i SAID SO. xander hung out with eddie the whole time in reefer rick's place fight me on that one.

[fullmusicbardsquared]

Ranking JoJo Minor Antagonists, 1-4

Shamelessly inspired by @uppertwist, this'll be long, so be warned

I'll rank other things if asked :3

Phantom Blood

Bruford: Doesn't do all that much honestly, but his design's pretty funky and in retrospect I'm like 75% sure he's got a stand. 7/10

Tarkus: His size is even stranger than Polpo honestly, but I guess it fits with the song being 20 MINUTES LONG. 4/10

Dario: Does he even count? Anyway he was an asshole, & main reason I liked Dio in part 1. 1/10

Wang Chan: My mom burst out laughing when she heard his name so he gets bumped up. 2/10

Random Led Zeppelin Zombies: These guys got their names changed??? 3/10 for comedy

Doobie: 10/10 Doobie is perfect in every way. Snake.

Battle Tendency

Str*heim: die die die die die die die die die get killed by fish die negative infinity/10

Santana: Wonderful guy. We barely learned shit about him but his episodes are so fun. I both wish he'd come back and hope he stays petrified forever. 8/10

Donovan: First dude to really fit into the "worse than the reference" category. Also they changed it to Donobang??? Ew. 4/10

Straizo: Him ranting about Dio vampiring wrong is funny I guess. 6/10

Stardust Crusaders

Gray Fly: Legitimately forgot this lame old man. 2/10

Imposter Captain Tennille: He drove, a boat? Honestly Captain Dragon was a way cooler name. 3/10

Forever: Please just, no. -10/10

Devo the Cursed: ARE WE NOT MEN? WE ARE DEVO. ARE WE NOT MEN? D-E-V-O. (Araki please reference DEVO again) 8/10

Rubber Soul: I like him on principle BUT he created that stupid cherry meme. 6/10

J. Ge*l: Read Forever's entry. -100/10

Hol Horse: This man is genuinely amazing. The instant I saw him my Trigun brain went batshit. Everything about him just makes him funnier. 10/10

Nena: Uhhhh she's a girlboss? I don't remember much about her to be honest. 5/10

ZZ: Car. 3/10

Enya the Hag: Way too funny for a murderous old lady who supports her serial killer son. 6/10

Steely Dan: He's a Kevin. 9/10

Arabia Fats: Amazing. 7/10

Mannish Boy: Is it even legal to rank an infant?? Also if JoJo used literary refs instead he'd probably be called "The Small Assassin" (Ray Bradbury story) 7/10

Cameo: He's okay I guess. 5/10

Midler: Her stand's funky but she's just eh. 5/10

N'Doul: He's the vibe check, he's cool. 8.5/10, too much water

OINGO BOINGO BROTHERS: DO I EVEN NEED TO EXPLAIN??? IF I DO, I FEEL BAD FOR YOU, POOR SOUL. INFINITY/10

Chaka + Khan: They're nice :) 6/10

Mariah: Wish she had more personality traits besides literally being attractive. 7/10

Al*ssi: He looks like Spinel from Steven Universe. Don't lie, you know I'm right. 0/10

Daniel J. D'arby: He has a first name??? Anyways, he's pretty cool. His arc's really fun, and his stand is green. An ugly green, but he's Osiris, so at least it's green. 7.5/10

Pet Shop: Murderous falcon. How could you hate him? 9/10

Telence T. D'arby: Gamer with a weird barn owl stand. 7/10

Kenny G: Loser. Also, Tenor Sax? You can't have an instrument as your stand, bitca. 2/10

Nukesaku: Why is he the loser when Kenny G is right there???? 4/10

Vanilla Ice: I heard his name before I got to the fight and I laughed my ass off. Now I know better. Also his leotard looks stupid. 3/10

Diamond is Unbreakable

"Angelo": Re. J. Geil. -20/10

Keicho Nijimura: I mean, he was an asshole for sure, but you can understand why. He's good. Also, in his three episodes, he doesn't leave his house??? Ahead of the time. 7/10 (bc Okuyasu)

Tamami: He's there? 5/10

Hazamada: Xander Harris But Worse. And with belts. 5.5/10

Akira Otoishi: He's trash, but like, a really fun trash. And his design is sick. RHCP is ugly, but we aren't talking about stands, now are we? 7/10

Bug-Eaten & Not Bug-Eaten: ṛ̶̫͔̝͈͕̟̠͖͙̅̌͒̍̄̉̈̕̕a̶̡̨̧̨̫̰̹̝̘͇̩̩͇̍̂͐̍͐̂̏̈́̐̐̈́͜͝͠ͅţ̸̨͎̥͇͔͕̣̘̜̍̿̔͌͒́́̍̂̅̎̄̓̓͘͜͝.̶̡̧̼͇̬̤̳̹̺̪̟̺͈̣̭̣̞͈͈͕̳̆͒͋͋̈́̔͌̎̉͋͆͑̊̋̈͒̒͘͝ 7/10

Yoshihiro Kira: Enya but not funny. 5/10

Ken Oyanagi (Janken Kid): He's literally a dumbass middle schooler. I'm half-convinced he only fought Rohan because they both had silly headbands and they needed to figure out who was superior. 7/10

Yuya Fungami: He's funky honestly. That stupid bowtie is amazing. (This is a Yoshie, Reiko, & Akemi stan account btw) 8/10

Toyohiro: I was worried when I saw the butterfly and spider pins, but he's fun. I wish we got to see him more. 6/10

Masazo Kinoto (Cheap Trick's user): Sorry you died?? 2/10

Terunosuke Miyamoto: LOOK AT HIS COAT IT'S SO AMAZING 10/10

(Bonus) Yukako Yamagishi: You had so much potential Araki >:( 9/10