#but also i said: i don't usually write in metaphors...they are tricky

[ofgentleresolve]

@jeoseungsaja​​ sent:

"It's you, isn't it."  At this point, it's no longer surprising to catch a shadow plastered on the dilapidated wall. At this point, he can recognize said shadow; take note of the outline of unmistakable hat. There's a long pause after something that might sound like a revelation; his back facing the vigilante as fingers carefully graze long leafs of Lily of the Valley. A little, saddened smile tugs at his lips, before letting out an elongated sigh. "The one who puts water in this plant once in a while." Touch releases itself from the damp green, turning about so he can address the Black Knight.

He doesn't understand. Doesn't understand why the masked vigilante does these things: comes around whenever he pleases, for as long as the door remains with that shabby lock (a lock Hyuk himself hasn't even changed due to a million penurious excuses; it almost feels like the detective welcomes him through actions, even if his stubborn words might say otherwise) and, on top of that, is observant enough to tell when this plant needs water.

Hyuk knows Nakamura uses the watering can to give the Lily of the Valley much needed showers whenever he forgets to do so, but it's almost impossible for the plant to remain this damp after hours of its last round of water. Plus, he doesn't think it's a coincidence that the leaves have fresh droplets of liquid on occasions he's found the Black Knight inside his office. Truly? He could question him about it, be relentless and ask why he's doing this, why does he even care; continue with worded brawls until one of them lurches forward.

But he doesn't. Instead, he looks down, pretends that he's busying himself with something else as he walks to his desk and takes a paper crane that wasn't there earlier. Suki must've folded some papers around here. Again. He's too tired to mind tonight.

"Thank you." He finally says, in the shape of a whisper more than anything else. "That plant...the--flower---" What is he doing? Is he about to tell him what it symbolizes? God, he must be losing his mind now. Head lifts, looking at the Black Knight and those eyes that unnerve him.

 A hand waves in dismissal.  He can't. He'll be too vulnerable.

 "Nothing. Just...thank you."

(IDK WHAT THIS IS BUT KASHDIUWEDH PLS TAKE IT, I HOPE IT'S OKAY; AS ALWAYS PLS FEEL FREE TO DISMISS IF YOU'D LIKE, HAVE A FANTASTIC DAY FERRE C:!!!) || flowers!! + pain ( unprompted. )

For once, he does not flinch when the detective calls to him. How strange it has become, this ritual between the two of them to convene in Hyuk’s rundown office when the city trades its certainty for the illusion of peace. They both know better; a single lock, even one sturdier than the one Hyuk still has not replaced ( perhaps Patrick should nag him on it although most things roll off his dear friend’s back like water, irritants included. Inspector Im would know; Miss Nakamura would too ) doesn’t guarantee any safety. The best mechanism against danger is AWARENESS.

And yet, here the Black Knight is again, slipping through a window into the office awaiting one exhausted, bitter detective who has lost the plot according to his former co-workers, maybe even the public in general. He winces, a twinge of pain shooting up from his back, where the sutures he received the last time they spoke haven’t quite dissolved, the thread, pulling the skin there taut.

And yet, the Black Knight knows this tenderness isn’t only a physical sensation. Sometimes when he looks at his dear friend, it makes Patrick ache. The source of the pain is never clear in those instances and while he can pinpoint his back as one of the sources this time around, the whole picture remains blurry. The line between tangible and intangible blurs.

Sometimes, Hyuk reminds Patrick of an old wound, crusted from the passage of time. And yet still raw even after all these years: the way phantom limbs will ache even when the said ligament has been severed years ago.

Patrick remains leaning against the wall, the shadows obscuring half of his face, where his hat will not. His gloves are slightly damp from handling the watering can. If Hyuk were to check, there would be reminiscences of warmth wrapped around the handle in turn. The soil seemed on the dry side when he had slipped in through the window. Winters are never kind of flowers such as these. Patrick follows Hyuk’s gaze.

He hadn’t noticed it the first time around, that pot of flowers. He had been too busy, too focused on taking that USB Drive to pinpoint the source of that scent in the office. But it made sense the second time around, that coy scent of spring, lemons, and REBIRTH. A fragrance brave enough to make its presence known, but humble enough to avoid saccharinity. Coy, but not cloying. It settles over the office the same way the grief has settled over Hyuk in a heavy coat.

The Black Knight should be practical. He should tell Hyuk to get rid of that pot- doesn’t he realize it gives him away? Not everyone smells like a lily of the valley, this mute flower that not even the deftest of perfumiers can replicate. To keep such a plant in the vicinity will only invite more danger to Hyuk. And his colleagues.

And yet.

And yet.

“If you’re going to take care of it, do it right, or don’t try at all,” he says, half-heartedly. Perhaps in their earlier days, there would be more bite behind those words. And besides, Hyuk would most likely know better than anyone else how difficult it is to protect someone.

The flower jostles gently under Hyuk’s coaxing. The buddings rustle the way bells might and for once, he imagines something pleasant to accompany it- something like her laughter. Or maybe Hyuk thinks of him. Not the Black Knight, but of a Patrick Grace long since buried.

Patrick hasn’t seen one in years; his favorite flower- a native wildflower to the English countryside that signal the start of spring, a symbol of starting anew. And yet there is one more reason, in a box of memories he stashed away, he can recall for adoring this meek blossom-

“…Do you know you what it’s supposed to represent?” He pushes off the wall and approaches the pot as Hyuk takes his usual seat at his desk. A light scent washes over the smell of smoke and burning for the briefest of moments as his thumb grazes the top of a leaf. “The coming of spring. Humility. Purity of heart. A return to happiness.”

In other words, starting over. Coming to terms after mourning.

Moving on.

( That’s not something Patrick deserves, but he knew that when he put the mask on. The greatest mercy he can ask for is sweet oblivion in the end. )

Hyuk gives something akin to a smile and something in Patrick clenches. ( If it feels something like guilt or regret even, he won’t acknowledge it. ) He lets his hand drop and turns away from his beloved friend, sharply.

“You should take a lesson from it.”

[bbygirl-aemond]

Hi Bella's bf!

You've written a lot of different perspectives in SB, so I was wondering if you've had a favourite character to write, or a character that you've found more difficult to get their voice how you wanted.

Personally, Daemon seems like he wouldn't be the easiest to write, but I think you've portrayed him in a really authentic way.

(he says hello haha)

i'm so happy that you've enjoyed my daemon characterization! he's definitely complex to write, particularly when observed through other characters' perspectives. he's a highly reaction person and keeps his emotions so close to his chest it's often hard to figure out what's actually motivating him. he's also very good at projecting his own issues onto what goes on around him, so often his behavior seems out of place or extreme until you get the context of what's going on internally. think of the contrast in readers' reactions to him in chapter 8 vs chapter 9, for example. that being said, his actions are very directly tied to his emotions, so writing his povs isn't super tricky.

my favorite povs to write are usually the ones where i can delve more into the eerie/uncanny aspect of religion, mysticism, and magic. it adds another layer of complexity and intrigue to the writing and lets me play around more with dramatic language and metaphors. helaena's povs are always just steeped in that kind of stuff since she perceives space-time very differently, so she's always a joy to write. aemond also has his moments here, in scenes like those in chapters 10, 19, or the upcoming chapter 24.

the character that i have to be the most careful with, by far, is rhaenyra. part of this is just due to her position within the power dynamics, as she is ultimately the one in charge and so is the default "bad guy" when something happens that aemond doesn't like. she's also the one who's forced to make all of the tough decisions where there's no answer that will make everyone happy- the decisions that no one else wants to make, but which do have to be made. another part of this is the trick i pulled on y'all at the beginning, where i made her seem super unsympathetic through aemond's pov so you would empathize with his suspicion and hostility even though objectively she was consistently choosing the lesser of two evils.

but even after that i've found that her character's decisions (in stormbreak) get a somewhat disproportionate amount of criticism compared to characters on team green, but also compared to other male characters on team black. i really expected daemon to be much less popular than rhaenyra in this fic, because he stands by all of her unpopular decisions and was equally awful at dealing with the problematic power dynamics with aemond. and he has so many additional red flags that rhaenyra doesn't: his violent outbursts, his bloodthirstiness and ambivalence towards the other greens, his very transparent valyrian supremacy, etc. but people have been very sympathetic to his character, so i actually don't have to be nearly as careful with him as i'd anticipated given reactions to rhaenyra. i have to be a lot more explicit in making rhaenyra sympathetic than the other members of the main trio in order to have the same effect on readers overall, so writing her character (both within her own pov and in other characters' povs) takes a loooong time! it's an interesting challenge for sure.

[azrielgreen]

Hellooo I have a writing question if that’s okay. 💜

Basically, whenever I write anything I always project onto the characters, and this makes them all seem kind of the same. All anxious, worried, insecure, etc. I know some of that is okay and what makes a work unique, but I feel a lack of control over my stories because of this. Like the characters run away from me and the narrative gets weighed down by my own thoughts and feelings instead of the characters’.

I’ve read all your stories and see that you have a strong idea of who characters are and how far you can take them. Like, you even know the varying degrees a story can fuck a reader up, and how fucked up a certain character is. Steve’s variances from YD to BOD and now Rooms most notably.

I know your main thing is to make sure you have a sun and moon fic so you can channel out dark emotions and not muddle up your happier stories/scenes with this “negativity”.

But I was wondering if you’d be able to give any other advice on maintaining a stronger grip on both the narrative and the characters, and adding your own unique perspective/personality to the story without overdoing it. Even the way you’re able to control your chapter word count so they’re all around the same length. I find my stories start off with lower word counts and as I get into it, my word count explodes. Is there any way to avoid this? You’ve said before to work in batches of 20-30k. But I find when I start a story I don’t have that in me yet. Like I’m kind of directionless.

Ahhh this is a lot of fucking questions lmao. I’m sorry!! I’d really appreciate if you could even answer one of them. 💜💜 Thank you!!

Hello lovely, I'm sorry this took forever to answer, I've had so many of these and wanted to give yours a really full answer💜💕✨️

These are such valid questions!

So, to begin with, looking at characters and how we express ourselves through them. What i do is usually to choose one character I mainly identify with (Steve, usually) and allow myself to express my needs through this character. Through the other, I express my giving side. What I would loved to have given myself when I was younger etc... Through the villain, i write my fears and my experiences.

So essentially you're splitting pieces of yourself into the characters like light through a prism. It helps to write backstory for each one sometimes too. I tend to go in blind but there's always a unique sense of how they're formed from past experiences.

Self expression through characters can be difficult but it does help to compartmentalise and let certain pieces of yourself only go to one character. If you're drawn to writing anxious characters who struggle with insecurity (a theme I'm consistently drawn to) then remember to have the other characters respond how you would WANT people to respond to you. Two sides of the coin. The problem and the solution. The seed and the earth.

I do also recommend writing a moon and sun fic alongside one another, because the overspill of intensity and darkness I tend to generate once I'm into a story can creep into places where it doesn't belong so the divide is important for me.

As for unique experiences/personality coming through the characters, I do limit myself here with a degree of filtering. So I would never directly put my own experience from life into the story without some degree of narrative parsing, I.e metaphors, imagery, symbolism etc... and mostly it comes through in tiny elements and themes so it's not glaring to me when i read it back. Where i let myself flow unrestrained is the intensity, that's all me, I'm a very intense person and I don't ever hold back. I also find that reading scenes aloud helps to crystallise dialogue and i also run scenes in my head a lot before writing them.

As per word count, this can be tricky and i really do recommend not posting anything until you've written 25k of it BECAUSE:

▫️in my experience it takes 25k to get the feel of what you actually HAVE here

▫️it gives you space to go back and make small plot changes as you need

▫️it'll train you into writing that length right from the start and massively reward your effort from the get go once you've hit that mark.

▫️it'll show you where a story might lose steam along the way (some stories aren't meant to be more than a pretty idea in your head and that's completely fine)

▫️25k-30k will let you spend enough time with the characters to develop traits, language patterns, symmetry of symbolism, and it gives you time to get to know them.

Many times around the 18-20k mark I'll realise something like "actually no, go back and change that so he's always been very jokey in the face of insecurity" little things about the characters that often evolve deeper into the story than 5-10k and by waiting until you've written 30k, you're giving yourself time to explore and make those changes before it's posted.

This is of course only my opinion and everyone's methods are varied, beautiful and valid.

If you're struggling with direction at the start, which is common, remember that your creative instincts are sharp and getting sharper every day. Lean where you're passionate, try to make it as fun as you can. You have so many stories inside you.

Other things that help:

▫️Dialogue heavy scenes

▫️Time skips/vignette style

▫️Line breaks

▫️Switching POV

I hope any of this is helpful💜💜💜

[ramshacklefey]

4. What LGBT+ book influenced you growing up?

Hmm.... this is a tricky one for me, actually. If we're limiting "growing up" to any time under the age of 18, I don't think there was one. Growing up Mormon meant that I was categorically forbidden from reading anything with queer themes or characters, or even with suspected queer themes or characters (legit, I remember Mum telling us that Happy Feet wasn't something we were allowed to watch because the dancing penguin was a metaphor for gay people).

If we expand things a bit, then it would be Jamison Greene's autobiography. Just before I came out as trans, I went looking to see if I could find any books about trans men, and it was hard to find anything.... and then I found his story, and things just kinda clicked for me.

5. Do you read queer nonfiction?

Absolutely! My background in academia led to me reading a lot of queer nonfiction: philosophy and autobiographies mostly, but also as much about queer history as I've managed to get my hands on. I've loved learning about how other queer people think about themselves and our history!

6. Share something from your WIP

Enji brok off his lecture when Usagiyama appeared at the gymnasium door, followed by Hawks. He looked even more bedraggled than usual, wearing old sweatpants and a sleeveless top. His eyes were only half open, and his hair was mashed flat on one side.

"Is this really necessary sir?" he asked petulantly. "I was just getting some good sleep. Beauty rest is important you know." He squinted at Enji for a moment. "Well. May you don't. You should try it sometime."

There was a snort somewhere among the privates. Enji glared in their direction but saw only rows of expressionless faces. Sergeant Togata's lips were tightly pursed, and he looked slightly pained.

"I can't say I have ever tried it," Enjy said scornfully, "But you could clearly do with a bit less of it." Really, the man's vanity was beyond belief.

Togata was suddenly wracked with a fit of coughing. By the looks on the privates' faces, Enji thought he must have scored a point. Hawks bent his head as he moved to stand next to Major Aizawa, clearly put in his place for the moment.

7. Who's your favorite queer character?

Anyone who tries to tell me that Niklaren Goldeye was a cishet man is either a fool or a liar.

8. Rec a sapphic novel!

Absolutely adored The Dark Wife by Sarah Diemer. It's a retelling of the Persephone myth where Hades is a woman, and Persephone goes to seek refuge with her voluntarily in order to escape the overtures of Zeus. (cw for a scene involving rape near the beginning)

9. Free Friday!

I spent nearly 10 years unable to write anything at all because I was terrified of online cancel culture in the early '10s. I really got caught up in feeling like I was supposed to be writing stories that hit on representation for everyone except myself, and I was afraid of the backlash I might get for writing or publishing anything that wasn't up to the standards I thought other people would expect from me.

10. Rec an mlm novel

Kai Ashante Wilson's The Sorcerer of the Wildeeps absolutely rocked me to my core. Absolute recommendation for poetic writing and delightful characters.

[fa-by]

Hi, Faby I'm finally free of homework. I loved your theory on all these years. I laughed at the memes. many CS say we have a version of Camila with all these years, but we don't have a similar version of Lauren but at the time that Camila and Lauren weren't together (after Camila left the group) Lauren kept thinking about Camila because she kept writing songs based on her relationship with Camila like all night. Can you make a song analysis of all night?

Hello to you, dear @camilalauren0327 👋🏼😄 I'm glad you're free from your homework 💪🏼 I'm also glad that you loved my interpretation and that you laughed at the GIFs.

So. About All Night, I can tell you it's track n° 11 of Steve Aoki's Neon Future IIIalbum. Both Laur and Steve loved the time spent together in the studio, and Steve totally loved working with her: “She’s got so many ideas and the problem is, they’re all good. She’s very meticulous. The attention to detail Lauren has is something I don’t find in many people. She’s very attentive to the detail. She’s got those ears, she’s got the sensibility and the vision, and I’m just totally inspired to be in the studio with her”.

As for the lyrics, were already there, but Laur rewrote them and wrote the bridge from scratch. Vocally speaking, she did all the backgrounds and vocally self-produced. So the vocal production? It's hers. It was her. Yeah. She's thattalented, and people still sleep on her. But anyway. Let's move on to my interpretation now, shall we?

Verse 1:

“My heart beats a little faster

When our eyes meet, in the middle of a crowded room”

Typical reaction of when we meet someone we like. You know? Heart beating fast as Laur says, along with butterflies in the stomach, cheeks blushing, palms sweating, adrenaline, dry mouth, palpitations, hot flashes, etc., etc.

“In knee deep, testing waters”

What does ‘in knee deep’ make us understand? That it wasn't an ordinary person that she just liked, but that it was a person that she really liked very much. *cough Mila*

“I've got a feeling, and I don't know what to do”

Why? Because she knew it was different and contrary to the past, she didn't know how to act.

Chorus:

“You got me paralyzed, and I think I like it”

As I think you know, ‘paralyzed’ in this case is intended as being blocked by a strong emotion (such as amazement). Mila got her paralyzed. Their situation and feelings were so strong, so deep/in knee-deep, that Laur was petrified by it. But despite this, as I said before, this was different. Unlike anything she'd ever felt before. And she liked it.

“Caught me by surprise, I'm not usually like this, no”

It caught her by surprise because she didn't expect it. And we know why she wasn't usually like that. Because she'd been in denial all her life. Because she'd always fought against these feelings.

“Got me paralyzed, don't think I can help it”

She couldn't. Even if she tried, she couldn't. She couldn't help herself.

“Why's it feel so right?”

Why did what she was taught to be wrong made her feel so good/right? Because it was. It was in general, but it was even more so with her. With Mila.

Post-Chorus:

“Let's keep this going all night

Going all night

Going all night

Going all night”

Freedom. Without thinking of tomorrow. Tomorrow's tomorrow.

Verse 2:

“The crowd fades, tunnel vision

In a daze, and the only thing I feel is you”

Because she was the only important thing. The only thing that mattered. All the rest? They were just surroundings.

“In perfect, syncopation”

Syncopation can be a rhythm, a passage, or a dance step. Syncopation in music occurs when a rhythm is unexpected and is played off-beat. It's like, an oscillation in a soft and not stiff way. It's an imbalance and prolongation of a note in the middle that creates an effect of, precisely, oscillation. Flamenco is the simplest first example that comes to mind for both musical rhythm and danced rhythm, but syncopation is used in many music styles. From the classical music of Mozart and Beethoven, to the ragtime ancestor of jazz, jazz itself, rock, metal, reggae, hip-hop, pop, house, salsa, etc.

To give you a practical example to help you understand better, count 5, 6, 7, 8 out loud three times in a row. From the fourth time, keep counting out loud and, at the same time, use the palm of your hand or the clenched fist on a surface to hear the rhythm yourself and understand how stable it is. Do this three times or even more until it’s natural for you to keep up the pace without having to keep counting 5, 6, 7, 8 out loud. Once you've done that, keep counting mentally and hit/tap 5 a little bit harder with a little pause, and then just 7, 8. It would be like: 5, no hit/tap, 7, 8.

FIIIVE, seven, eight - FIIIVE, seven, eight - FIIIVE, seven, eight.

You can slow down or speed up as you like, and this, dear @camilalauren0327 and babies, is an example of syncopation. If you guys want, to listen and understand better, I also found this for you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-H6oXpF-tw.

But anyway. What's my point? Why explain all this to you? Because for many composers and producers, syncopation is a vital element because it helps them tie the rhythm and the melody of a song together. The use of syncopation in music in general, but more precisely in a song, makes the track different and even unique at times.

And now that you know this, Lauren did or didn't use a beautiful metaphor with a simple one-word to describe her and Mila? *she was so phenomenal and romantic 😍*

“Face to face, tell me do you feel it too?”

Sounds weird that Laur was wondering, right? Well, it actually isn't because this song is about the moment in the timeline they were in the Like Friends Dosituation. Laur was still in denial and therefore they didn't speak. She didn't know if Mila still wanted her or not, and most likely, it was just before Mila started her relationship with the mystery girl because it coincides with Lauren finally accepting herself and her feelings for her.

Chorus:

“You got me paralyzed, and I think I like it

Caught me by surprise, I'm not usually like this, no

Got me paralyzed, don't think I can fight this

Why's it feel so right?”

The difference between the first chorus and this, is the ‘don't think I can fight this’ here. As I said before and as we know, Laur had been in denial all her life and she’d always fought against these feelings, but this time it was different. Thiswas different because Camila was different. Hell, Lauren herself was different. The environment she was in was different. Different especially from home and from what she was used to there. Her feelings were different. More powerful. Nothing like the crushes she'd had on other girls in the past, and she knew, because she knew, that she was going to lose this fight. Here, or rather at the time at that moment, she was simply admitting it to herself.

Bridge:

“But maybe I should wait

Let it fall into place

'Cause I keep going over

The things that could come from me feeling this way (Way)”

She was having second thoughts here. Her fear took over. Fear is the most powerful tool in the world. It makes you do unimaginable things and it makes you not do what you really want.

“And I don't wanna play (I don't wanna play)

This emotional game (This emotional game)

But when you pull me closer

I cannot deny that I want you to stay”

BUT, she finally gave in. She overcame her fear by finally admitting to herself that she wanted her, and not just physically. The ‘stay’ is tricky because if it's read just like that, it only means a physical action, but for Camren? It means so much more. An example that comes to mind now is the ‘It's almost 2AM and I can't ask you to stay’ that we find in Feel It Twice. For them, the ‘stay’ is not just a physical action. It's deeper. It means staying with each other. It means staying/being together.

After the bridge, we have the post-bridge and then the chorus again (in which that raspy, mature high-note occurs on the “I cannot deny this love”, which honestly leaves me dead every time) which I've already explained, so that's it, dear @camilalauren0327. All Night is a song about Laur's acceptance of her feelings for Mila.

I hope you liked it, and, I don't know where you live, but I hope you're having a wonderful summer or a beginning of winter. Sending you a hug 🤗

For you guys, on the other hand, I hope you too are having a wonderful summer or a beginning of winter wherever you live 😊 I'll try to keep answering your asks whenever possible until I get home in September (damn places with no connection and only one wi-fi).

Always remember to be kind, to others and to yourselves. Be a good example. Be patient. Be safe and take care of yourselves. Don't let our ship sink. Keep shipping them, but please respectfully 🙏🏼 Sending you virtual love and hugs 🤗🤗🤗 I love you, babies. Always with love, F ❤️

[ryelasreviews]

Watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

"Eternal sunshine" is a metaphor for ongoing peace, happiness and carefree life. So in full "Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind" is describing the happiness and joy one can experience once the negative experiences (or "spots") have been removed from the mind.

SPOILER ALERT DISCLAIMER: May contain scenes and references from the movie.

Let's be clear. Watching this movie even when you're not "broken hearted" can make you tear up.

I've watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind about three times (and I will watch it more if time permits to do so). Everytime I watch it, the more confused, sad, angry, and happy I get. This is a movie that will make you cry and laugh and make you think of the possibilities of erasing someone from your memory.

This movie was made on 2004, and knowing what kind of technology we have during that time, it's not surprising why this movie was a hit. Seldom we see these movies that have some type of 'sci-fi tech laced with love' subject. Joel and Clementine begin a relationship post a train journey together, unaware that they had previously been in a relationship, the memories of which were clinically erased.

Let's talk about the cast... Kate Winslet and Jim Carrey, I never would've thought that they would have this chemistry (for me). Their roles on the movie is far fetched from their usual. Jim Carrey being the ever being happy-no-worry-guy, and Kate Winslet always being Ms. Beautiful and Graceful. But in this film, Jim Carrey was somehow the shy, submissive, (sometimes pathetic) guy, while Kate is a carefree, impulsive girl with a strong personality. Both are completely opposite. But somehow on the film, it didn't feel too 'cliche' of how they met and made each other fall in love.

Like all couples, nothing is perfect.

(It's kinda tricky to write the summary since the movie goes back and forth from past to present, but here's a clear order of how it went)

It all starts when Joel goes to a beach party with his friends Rob and Carrie and meets this green-haired, orange-sweatshirted girl named Clementine. That night, Clem breaks into a house with Joel, but Joel gets scared and leaves. Still, he's drawn back to Clem, and he goes to see her at Barnes & Noble, where she works and where they officially start a relationship.

We only know a little about the next two years, but they're mostly happy. There's a hike through the woods in the fall, a trip to a drive-in theater, a parade of elephants.

But eventually things stop working out so well. Joel and Clem lie in bed arguing about communication, and when the two eat out, Joel thinks they are the "dining dead." They argue about having a child, and they argue even more when Clem comes home late, having dented Joel's car. Clem leaves and shortly thereafter goes to Lacuna, a medical business specializing in erasing memories—and, well, she has Joel erased from her memory.

Joel buys her an early Valentine's Day present to make up for what he said to Clem, but when he goes to her work, he sees her kissing some random guy and acting like she doesn't know him. Confused, Joel goes to Rob and Carrie, who tell him about Lacuna.

Joel goes to Lacuna himself, finds out the truth, and returns determined to do to Clem what she did to him. He collects (almost) everything that he has associated with Clem, and the Lacuna professionals, Dr. Mierzwiak and Stan, map his Clem memories using these objects. That night, he takes a pill and crashes on his floor. Patrick (another Lacuna technician) and Stan come in and get to work erasing Joel's memories.

At the middle of erasing his memory, Joel changed his mind and wanted everything to stop. But it's too late so he wanders throgh his memories even on the most humiliating and some unrelated to Clementine.

FAST FORWARD

After having the procedure, Joel wakes up and takes a trip to Montauk. He meets Clem, and they bond as if it were their first encounter. They end up at her house for drinks and go and lie on the ice together again the following night.

Mary, one of the assistants at Lacuna, was also one of those people who has her memory erased. Side story: she had a relationship with Mierzwiak (the doctor) and on the day the Joel's memories were bing erased, Hollis, Mierzwiak's wife, pulls up and shares the news that Mary and Mierzwiak already had a thing, but Mary has had her memory erased. Disturbed by the experience, Mary decides to send all of the previous Lacuna patients' records back to them, essentially giving them a part of their lives back.

On the way back to Joel's place, Clem plays the tape of herself erasing Joel that Mary sent her. Joel thinks this is a sick joke and kicks her out of his car. Of course, Joel finds his own tape when he gets home, and when Clem comes over, she is equally upset by the mean things he says about her on his tape.

But as Clem leaves, Joel catches up to her and asks her to wait. They know that if they try a second time at a relationship, it might end up the same way, but they decide they don't care.

They'll go for it, anyway.

It's odd how fate and love find ways to make two people meet again. It could be statistics or chance or God knows what.

One thing we know is that our memories is what makes us, US. Memory and identity are inseparable. Our accumulated experiences are how we form a conception of what it means to be yourself. If you suddenly forgot everything about someone or what you've done, you lose a part of who you are.