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mermaidxatxheart · 5 years

Text

Some Rules are Never Meant to be Broken Part III

Part I | Part II

Pairing: Paramedic!Bucky X Reader

Warnings: Some language probably, nothing too crazy, the feeling of being watched. IDK. This is kind of a mild chapter.

Word Count: 7143

Summary: The reader is a Muse living life as a tour guide at a museum. Bucky is struggling with returning home from war and adjusting to civilian life. He used to be a paramedic and now works security, but what he really misses from his pre-war life is his ability to draw. Cue the reader, determined to do her job and get him back to a point where he can do what he loves most. But, spending that much time with anyone always leads to romantic feelings, which is against her laws. Will she be able to resist Bucky long enough to help him and not get her in serious trouble?

A/N: I haven’t forgotten about this story at all. I’m just terrible and my brain simply can’t stop coming up with new ideas. Also, work has been sucking my soul dry. But I’ve finally reached a point, I feel like, where it’s a full chapter. It might not be the most exciting chapter, but I enjoy it, and I hope everyone else does, too. Mood board below was made by the ever amazing @captainsteveevans I can’t stop staring at this thing, it’s so gorgeous!! Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. If you do, comment or send me a message. They’re some of my favorite things and I can’t stop smiling when I see them.

(Look at it^^^ I’m in love!)

Between school field trips and tourists in town for the holiday weekend, the museum had never been busier. You had given six tours and it was barely two.

You miss Bucky. It had been three days since you’ve seen him and you’ve hated every second, especially since he left you so flustered at not being kissed.

What a tease.

“Y/N, there is a man in the Greek wing that would like to speak to the expert. I told him you would be happy to talk to him. He’s very charming.”

Bucky!

“Alright. I’ll head over there right now.” you try to stop the ridiculous grin trying to pull at your lips.

You step into the hall and look around, expecting to see Bucky’s muscular frame. It wasn’t crowded in the exhibit at the moment, a few families milling about, but he was nowhere in sight and you feel a sinking feeling in your stomach.

He’s not here after all.

Nothing feels worse than getting your hopes up and then feeling them fall to the floor.

“Excuse me, you are the expert in this area?” a man asks, coming up to you. You quickly fix your face into a pleasant smile. He’s average height, shorter than Bucky, but a few inches taller than you. His whole appearance is immaculate, suit crisply pressed, dress shoes polished and buffed, his hair is styled professionally-not a thing out of place. His skin is flawless, not a freckle, blemish or mark of any kind. Perfect in every way, it’s almost unreal.

“Yes, you were looking for me?” you reply, holding out your hand.

He shakes it, his hand is soft in yours and after getting used to Bucky’s calloused one, it’s a strange sensation.

“Yes. My name is Doctor Feldman. I was hoping I could pick your brain about an exhibit I’m putting together.” He has an accent, it’s familiar but something you can’t place. It’s not anything that you’ve heard in the last fifty years. Maybe you’re just too out of touch with the rest of the world.

“Absolutely.”

He releases your hand finally and pulls out a portfolio from his briefcase. It matches his shoes, right down to the embellished stitching. An unfamiliar sensation fills your stomach.

“This is the space that I have to fill.” he hands you a photograph. The space is large and your mind starts racing about all the things you could fit in there, so many statues of yourself.

“Quite impressive.” you say, taking the photo from him, trying to avoid skin contact.

“Thank you. I was wondering, how would someone like yourself go about filling such a space with history?”

“Oh, there are many ways.”

He hands you more pictures of the artifacts to go inside and you’re able to easily recognize them.

“You could easily just set it up the Greeks on one side, Romans on the other, but I find that style quite boring.” you flip through a few more pictures, an idea forming in your head.

“Or, you could do an interactive style, in which you start with the oldest artifacts, and as history progresses you move through to the point where Rome invaded and then you could split it into two directions.”

“I rather like that idea.” he says, taking the pictures back.

“I’m glad I could be of help.”

“I may come back to pick your brain once or twice more.” he tells you, shaking your hand again. “You have such wonderful ideas.”

A chill creeps up your spine as he smiles at you. Something is very off about him, something you can’t quite place. You want to tell him to find another expert, that you can’t help him anymore. You open your mouth to speak, but he releases your hand.

“Have a good day.” he bids before walking away.

Your face flushes in annoyance that he cut you off like that. You make a face at his back, wishing that your powers extended to anything more than just inspiring people. That wasn’t exactly great for defending yourself.

You find, not for the first time, that you’re missing Bucky.

Rubbing the mark on the back of your neck, you walk back to your desk, counting the minutes until, hopefully, Bucky shows up at five.

As it turns out, five o’clock passed about twenty minutes ago and he never showed up. And you’re miserable for it. You wait to leave, thinking... hoping that he was just stuck in traffic or left the office late.

But as five-thirty passes, you’re forced to admit he’s not coming. Again. You retrieve your things and head out into the night air. Autumn is falling fast upon the city and the air is getting colder.

You wrap your coat tighter around you as you make your way home. You first notice something off in the subway car. It feels like eyes on you. You’ve volunteered for art classes over the years, students studying your body, learning how to draw, countless eyes focused on you. You’re intimately familiar with the feeling of being watched, of being watched with intent.

Subtly, you look around the car, trying to take in all the faces of the strangers around you. There are so damn many of them, it’s nearly impossible to remember. You shift your bag higher onto your shoulder, trying to ignore the feeling crawling along your skin. It’s a city with 8 million people. They have to look somewhere, so why not at a beautiful woman on a train.

The doors creak open, rocking the car slightly and you exit, making your way home. Once inside the door, you drop off your bag, pulling out your phone and finding Bucky’s number. Your finger hovers over the call button, an internal battle between wanting to hear his voice, and not wanting to look like an idiot. Your thumb twitches, pressing the call button on accident.

Shit.

Bucky

“Stark, how long does it take to update? You’ve had it for three days.” Bucky sighs, leaning against one of the many lab benches.

“It takes as long as it takes, Barnes. You can’t rush science.” he gives a small shrug. “Also, consider me holding it hostage as payback for you breaking my very nice door.”

He groans in annoyance. Tony had physically removed his entire arm, claiming he needed it for a software update. What Bucky hadn’t realized was that it would take four days to do it.

The door to the lab opens and Steve walks in like a man on a mission. “Tony, have you seen-” his eyes land on his best friend and Bucky gives a half-hearted wave with his one good hand. “Never mind. I found him.” Steve leans against the bench next to the dark-haired man.

He’s uncomfortably silent but Bucky refuses to break first. Steve came in here looking for him, he can speak first. Bucky can feel his blue eyes on him as he studies his nails, trimmed short as usual. There’s nothing fascinating about them, maybe a little grease from working on the arm but it’s utterly boring and Bucky is rapidly running out of things to examine.

“You know it’s almost seven.” Steve announces finally.

Internally, he winces. Externally, he’s a stone, unmoving and unflinching. “Uh-huh.”

“Are you going to see her? You’ve been here late every night this week, later than everyone else.” he nudges Bucky’s arm a little harder than is necessary.

“Her who?” Tony pipes up, glancing up from his laptop screen.

He glares at Steve. “Thanks for that. And no, I’m not going to see her.” he crosses his arm across his chest, the action falling flat without the second arm to complete it. As much as he hates the stupid thing, he feels lopsided without it.

“Bucky! Have you even been out of the building in the last three days?”

“Would it even matter? I’m not seeing her.” he retorts.

“Still waiting over here. Who’s the ‘her’? And why won’t you go see her?” Tony interjects.

Bucky’s phone rings in his pocket and he’s forced to dig it out awkwardly. Tony grabs it from his hand, his reflexes not as quick as they should be.

“Who is... My Muse? Is that her? Should I answer for you? Hello, Bucky can’t come to the phone right now, he’s a little shorthanded.” he chuckles at his own terrible joke.

He rolls his eyes. “Don’t answer it, let it go to voice mail.”

Tony’s thumb hovers over the screen and he glares at him. He sighs loudly. “Fine. But in return I get to hear all about her.” he declines the call and turns off Buck’s phone. “You can tell her I banned phones in the lab-it screws with the equipment.” he leans against the counter next to him.

“There’s not much to tell. I met her at a museum a couple weeks ago.” he shrugs unevenly.

“And has spent every day since with her.” Steve adds.

“Dude, who’s telling the story?”

“You’re not doing it well. She’s crazy about him.”

He sighs, annoyed. “You don’t know that. We barely know each other.” Bucky reasons, but deep down where he doesn’t have to admit it out loud, he likes the possibility of her liking him.

“Man, no girl that hot is going to hang out with some guy every night for two weeks when she just likes him as a friend.”

“Every night, huh? Sounds like love to me.” Tony interjects and he glares at Steve. “And you’re avoiding her now? Why?”

“I’m not avoiding her.” he says hotly. “You said it yourself, it’s been every night for two weeks, we need a break.” even as he says the words, he hates how they taste. Lies and bullshit. He wants nothing more than to go see her right now, to bombard her with questions about her day and to feel her fingers on his.

“I don’t buy it. Aside from the fact that you broke my door, this is the happiest I’ve ever seen you. And the most normal, at the very least.”

“Will you let the door thing go? Fury bought you an even better one. You came out on top with that.” he snaps.

He grins widely and looks at Steve. “Aww. He misses her.” he coos and Bucky wants nothing more at this moment than to smack him through his fancy new door.

Steven, the traitor, has the nerve to laugh. “I have to agree with Tony. I don’t buy it. There has to be another reason you’re hiding out here with Tony, of all people.”

His arm beeps on the table and he perks up, looking at it. “Is it finally done?”

“I don’t think so.” Tony gets up and goes to look. “Nope, that was just part one.”

He feels his eyes widen. “Part one?”

“How many parts are there, Tony?” Steve asks, doing a better job of keeping his cool than Bucky is.

“Just two, but they’re both big files. Your arm is completely outdated at this point as far as technology goes. I’d compare it to the first telephone. I need to figure out a way to update the entire software system. Otherwise, there’s nothing else I can do. I update this every month, and the updates are getting bigger and bigger. Soon, I’ll just be keeping your arm on this table just to update it.”

He groans, pressing his fist to his eyes. “It’s going to take another three days to upload that file?”

“Maybe, I won’t know until it’s done. It could be less, it could be more. Look, if you like this girl, just call her and tell her you’re sick. Don’t leave her hanging.” Tony says.

He sighs, knowing he’s right. But Bucky also knows that she’ll want to come over and make sure he’s okay.

Tony walks towards the back of the lab and Steve turns to him. “Why won’t you call her?”

“Just leave it alone.” he shifts uncomfortably and Steve’s eyes drop to Bucky’s arm on the table.

“Please tell me this isn’t a pride thing.”

“What? Don’t be ridiculous.” he rolls his eyes.

“Oh my god, it is. Bucky-” Steve sighs, closing his mouth. “Are you going to call her?”

“Not tonight.” he hedges, and Steve rolls his eyes.

“Fine.” he claps him on the arm. “Good luck with the update.” Steve shakes his head but leaves the lab without another word.

“Back in a tick.” Tony jogs after him. “Steve!”

Steve

Tony follows him into the hallway. “In all seriousness, if I can’t find a way to update his arm, he won’t have it for much longer.”

Steve sighs loudly and rubs his face. “Okay. I still have a few military contacts, I’ll put out some feelers. Maybe someone knows something that can help. Just... do what you can. I’ll be back in a little bit.”

Tony steps back inside and Steve heads towards the building’s exit. He has a pretty good idea of where he needs to go, but Bucky is going to be pissed at him.

Too damn bad, pal.

The drive only takes about twenty minutes. But then it’s another fifteen to find the right building. He’s read so many little white name cards he’s starting to go cross-eyed. He presses the buzzer and sighs in relief when he hears her voice.

“Whatever you’re selling, I’m not interested.”

“How about a trip to SHIELD?” Steve replies. There’s a brief pause.

“Steve?”

“At your service.” He waits for what feels like five minutes but probably was only one.

“Throw in a snack and you’ve got yourself a deal.”

“Done.” He readily agrees.

A few minutes later the door opens and Y/N steps outside, shutting the door behind her. He expects a smile from her but when she turns around, her pretty face is anything but pleasant.

“What’s the matter?” Steve asks worriedly.

“Is he okay? What happened? I haven’t heard from him in days. He keeps ignoring my calls.” She rambles before suddenly freezing like a thought just occurred to her. Her face scrunches up. “He’s not... mad at me?” She asks it like it’s a completely foreign concept.

Steve chuckles, holding up a hand to stop her. “He’s being an idiot, definitely, but it’s not over something you did.”

“I don’t follow.” She starts, her tone uncertain.

“You’ll see when we get there. Trust me, if he wasn’t so hard-headed, he would have come to see you.” He watches as she nods, but she still seems distracted by something. “Is there something else going on?”

“I was hoping...” she shakes her head. “I’m just being stupid.”

Steve opens the door to his truck for her before going around to his side. “If something’s wrong enough to bother you, it’s not stupid. You can tell me.”

“This guy came into the museum today to ask for my help.” She starts, fiddling with her fingers.

“Was he rude? Offensive?”

“No, perfectly polite. Professional. Shook my hand, thanked me for my help.” Her tone suggests that she knows how she sounds, but whatever it is about this guy, it’s not something obvious.

“Y/N, I’m trying to understand, but I fail to see the problem. Unless you tell me what’s bothering you, there’s nothing I can really do.”

“He was just... too nice? Too immaculate?”

“Too perfect?” Steve adds, understanding, and she nods with a sigh.

“It sounds so stupid but there was just something off about the whole thing.” She opens her mouth to say something else but shuts it again.

Gut instincts are to be trusted for a reason. “What else?” He prompts.

“On the subway home, I felt uncomfortable, like someone was watching me.” She rubs her face in frustration. “I feel so stupid! I’m probably just overreacting.”

“Look, you’re a smart woman. If you feel something is wrong, don’t brush it off. Be aware of everything around you. Trust your gut, we have these instincts for a reason. Give me the guy’s name. I’ll see what I can find on him. That way you can rest easy.” If it’s within his power, he’ll help keep her safe.

“Thanks, Steve.” She smiles wide at him. “Can I ask another favor?”

“Sure.”

“Can we keep this between you and me? I don’t want to freak Bucky out if it’s nothing and I’m just being paranoid.”

Steve considers the request for a moment. There’s no harm in getting all the facts together. If it turns out it really is nothing, then Bucky will worry and stress for no reason. He’s finally starting to heal and be better. “Sure, but the second we find out anything other than you’re just paranoid, I tell him. He’ll be the best one to keep you safe if anything happens.”

“That’s fair.” She agrees and he’s content with the arrangement. Bucky will understand why they kept it from him at first, he may not be happy with it but he’ll understand.

Now, bringing her to SHIELD, on the other hand, dangerous. Bucky won’t be happy at all, he may even inflict some bodily harm on Steve. But it’s a risk he’s willing to take; she deserves to know what’s going on. And whether Bucky wants to admit it or not, having her there will be good for him. Steve already thinks of her fondly because of how much she means to Bucky, and how much she’s helped him already.

He pulls into his parking space and they both climb out, heading for the front door.

“So, what’s the protocol here? They’re not going to take blood samples are they?” She asks and Steve grins.

“Not a fan of needles?”

“Something like that.”

“Nah, nothing too invasive. We just have to take a tissue sample, run a background check, run your fingerprints.” Steve shrugs casually, watching her reaction out of the corner of his eye.

She doesn’t disappoint. Stopping, she turns fully to stare at him. “I’d hate to see your version of invasive.” She says and he laughs.

“Just sign in and get your visitor badge.” He gestures to the marble-topped desk where a guest book is laying open. She picks up the pen and signs it quickly, her elegant script standing out among all the others. She clips the visitor’s badge to her shirt as Steve leads her over to the elevators.

It’s silent for a minute as the car rides up. Then a thought occurs to Steve. “I should probably warn you; Bucky isn’t going to be happy.”

She looks up at him. “Because you’re bringing me? I thought you said-”

“He wants to see you, I can see it in his face, but he’s being a prideful bastard. Tony... well, Tony has his arm.”

“Has his arm?” She repeats, her pretty face going blank. “The whole thing?”

“No, just part of it.” He replies sarcastically. “Yes, the whole thing. And Bucky is being...” he glances at her. “Well, he’s being a man about it, letting his ego get in the way. Just, something to keep in mind when you see him.”

Y/N nods and falls silent. Steve can’t help but wonder what she’s thinking about, however, before he has time to ask-the doors open.

“This way.” He leads her out and down the hall to the lab. He holds the door open for her and she steps inside and stops dead. Steve touches her arm gently. “He’s over here.”

***

You don’t know what you were expecting when you walked into the room, but the sheer number of high-tech machines surprises you into stopping in your tracks. You can feel Steve behind you as he nearly walks into you.

He lightly presses his fingers to your arm. “He’s over here.” He says quietly, leading you around a corner of sorts.

Bucky is leaning against a metal counter, head hanging as his flesh arm is braced against the counter behind him. Somehow, he seems less bulky with only one arm. The other one is laying on a table hooked up to cords. He definitely seems a little more vulnerable without it, you can easily see why he doesn’t want you around.

You had a scathing comment all ready to fire at him for being so stupid but seeing him now, you realize that wouldn’t help. You swallow it down and take a step forward.

“So, this is where you’ve been hiding for three days.” You say and his head snaps up fast.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He snaps and you try not to feel offended.

“Steve brought me.” You take another step forward, looking around at the machines, an idea forming, maybe part of an answer to his problem. “I have to say, if you’re going to avoid me, this is a good place to do it. I would hide out here, too.” You don’t miss the way his eyes slide over to his best friend behind you, hardening into ice.

“Steve.”

“You were being ridiculous. I had to do something. And she’s here now, so... you know... you’re welcome.”

Bucky’s eyes get wide and you can’t help but chuckle a little.

“Probably not the best lead, Steve.” You tell him, taking another step towards Bucky. His eyes move back to you and you still see the anger there, but there’s something else. It takes you a minute to place it because you’ve never seen it on him before, fear.

“Where’s Tony?” Steve asks, looking around.

“I may have threatened to rip his arms off so he may be hiding.” Bucky admits.

You break into a grin. “That wasn’t very nice, was it?” You take the last few steps and lean against the table next to him before he can move.

“He deserves it. After you left, he kept harping on me and I got annoyed.”

You lean your head against his shoulder, getting comfortable. “Will I get to meet him?”

“I guess. If you want to.” Bucky sighs, his arm tightening around your shoulders.

“Barnes! Are you calm now? Or do I have to call your boyfriend?” A voice calls from the back of the lab.

“Why don’t you come find out, Stark?” He calls back, his voice vibrates through you.

“Will you at least text your girl? You can blame it on me and tell her I banned phones in the lab.”

“You mentioned that already.” Bucky replies with a grin down at you.

“That’s what you were gonna tell me?” You ask incredulously. Raising your voice, you continue, “you know no one actually believes that, right?”

“Why do you think I didn’t actually say it? I’m not out to insult you.”

“Who’s that? Is that her?” Footsteps hurry forward.

“So, I might have an idea.” You whisper to Bucky. He looks down at you curiously as a man appears in the doorway.

“Wow, Barnes, I’m impressed. Hello, I’m Tony.” He offers his hand, a smirk tugging at his lips.

“Nice to meet you, finally.”

“Has he been bragging about me? He has a man-crush on me.”

You snort. “Not exactly. I have a question. Do you make your own computer chips here?”

Tony opens his mouth to reply, but then shuts it, tilting his head curiously. “Why?”

“Well, I’m just wondering why you haven’t made newly updated chips for his arm.”

“They wouldn’t be compatible.”

“Why not? Because of the attachment heads? That’s an easy fix. With everything in this lab, you can make anything.”

“Well...”

“Bucky, can I see the inside of your arm? I didn’t get a super good look last time.” You ask and he nods, an unspoken question on his face. You can feel Steve’s eyes on you as Bucky steps forward and unlatches his panels.

You pluck the flashlight out of Tony’s hand and aim it into the arm cavity. There you spot a row of microchips nestled into a bar of receivers. You pull one of the magnifiers in front of you to blow up the bar. You study it for a minute, getting a feel for the technology.

“Is this Russian made?” You ask, nudging some wires around.

“How on earth can you tell that?” Tony asks.

“It’s obvious, really.” You stand up and snap off the flashlight. “Where do you build your chips?” You look at Tony.

He leads you to a workbench towards the back. “We don’t have any compatible.”

“Tony, Tony, Tony. Have a little faith, will you? Also, do you have a computer with all of his information on it? I’ll need that, too.” You scoot out the stool and sit.

“What are you going to do?” Steve asks, stepping up next to you.

“I’m going to help.” You answer obviously.

Tony comes back and sets a laptop next to you before moving away again. He starts gathering up some supplies as you begin to pull the tools you would need towards you.

“Bucky? Hand me those glasses right there.” You point up to the safety glasses on the wall above you.

“You’re making me nervous.” He mumbles, grabbing them and placing them gently in your outstretched hand.

You catch his hand and pull it to your mouth. “No need to be nervous.” You smile and press a kiss to the back of his hand before letting it go. Tony brings back over the boxes of pieces you would need.

You start assembling the first chip, not pausing to really think about it, just letting the pieces fall into place. Once you’re satisfied that you have everything you need on there, you set the tools down to let it cool.

Stretching your back as you straighten up, it cracks loudly. You glance around and realize you’ve been lost in your own head for a long time, a lot longer than you realized. Tony has gone off to work on something else, and Steve and Bucky are talking back in the room with his arm.

You tilt your head from left to right, cracking it before pulling the laptop to you. Searching through the different programs that make his arm work as a whole, you find the one that controls basic function.

You scroll agonizingly slow through the millions of code lines, adding what you can to improve the quality. It takes you forever. The lines are tiny and your eyes are ready to fall out. You sit back for a minute, closing your eyes and pressing the heels of your hands into them.

“You doing okay?” Steve asks, his hands coming to rest on the back of your shoulders.

“Yeah. It’s a lot of code. It won’t be perfect, I’m not as familiar with this kind and it should probably be rewritten better, but I’m not that good.”

“Well, how much do you have left?”

“About six hundred and fifty pages, give or take.” You answer off-handedly.

“Oh, shit.”

“Yeah, where did Bucky go?” You ask, looking around.

“To make some coffee.”

“Oh good, I’m gonna need it.”

“So, bad news. We’re out of coffee.” Bucky says, coming back and draping his arm around your shoulders.

You tip your head back and look up at him. “How can you be out of coffee?”

“Either that or someone moved it. Which would just be dumb.”

“Well, with the amount of code that I have to correct, there’s no way that I can keep going without any.” You sigh and rub your face. “I can’t even fix it all.”

“Who can?” Steve asks.

“Super geniuses?” You reply sarcastically, then you have a serious, actually helpful thought. “Well, I’ve heard of this girl, crazy inventor good. She might be able to help if we bribe her with something good. But, she lives...pretty far.”

“How far?” Bucky asks.

“Africa, Western Africa.”

“Well, I better make some calls.” Steve says matter-of-factly.

“If you can get her here, I think she and I can fix this.” You tell Steve and he nods.

“Then it doesn’t look like you can do any more tonight. Bucky, why don’t you take her home? You can come work on this tomorrow, Y/N.”

“You sure?” You ask.

“Yeah. Go home, get some rest.” Steve nods.

Bucky steps back and holds out his hand for you.

“Are you sure you’re okay to leave?” You ask Bucky. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

“I think I’ll survive.” He smiles and you slide off the chair to follow him.

“Goodnight, Steve.” You say and he kisses your cheek. “Bye, Tony!” You call as Bucky pulls you towards the door.

He’s silent on the elevator ride down to the lobby, across the wide-open space and outside. He’s walking slowly so you can keep up with him, but still silent.

“Are you mad that I came tonight?” You ask quietly.

He looks down at you, surprised. “Why would you ask that?”

“Because now you’re not speaking.”

“I’m just thinking. Definitely not mad at you.” He pulls you tight against his side. “Are you kidding? You were the best part of the last three days.”

“I can’t believe you thought I would care about your arm.”

“I don’t have a decent response to that, so I’m just gonna shut up.”

“Probably a good call.”

“So, how forward would it be if I showed up tomorrow to walk you to work?”

“It would be worse for you if you didn’t. Trust me.” You grin, poking his side.

A cold shiver trickles down your spine and you stop dead, looking around. You’re definitely being watched. You glance up to the windows on the side of the building but no one is looking out of them.

“What’s the matter?” Bucky asks.

You want to tell him but there’s just so many benign explanations that you still don’t want to worry him over nothing.

“So, does this mean we can have dinner at your place now?” You ask, tilting your head to look up at him as you continue walking.

“Yes. I will pick you up from work, and then we can finally have dinner.”

“Excellent.”

You walk in silence for a while, his arm wrapped around you and you couldn’t be happier. The implications of your happiness aren’t lost on you, you know what will happen if you fall in love but as long as he’s your favored, you can claim it’s all an act, that this is what he needed to get going again.

But you know the truth.

And it scares the Tartarus out of you.

He walks you up to your apartment, hesitating outside your door again. If he leaves you a second time without a kiss, you’re going to throttle him.

“You’re coming tomorrow morning, right?” You ask, tilting your head to look up at him.

“I’ll be here.” He promises, taking your hand gently. You lift it to his face, cupping his cheek softly. He lowers his face to yours and you meet him the rest of the way, capturing his lips with yours. Your skin prickles, nerves coming alive as he kisses you, backing you into your door slightly. Your fingers slide into his hair, curling into the strands and scraping against his scalp.

He pulls away breathlessly, his eyes unfocused. “I should go.” He mumbles.

You nod, hating to watch him leave. “Tomorrow morning.” You remind him. He smiles at you and turns for the stairs. You wait until he’s out of sight before unlocking your door and heading for the window overlooking the street. You watch him emerge and he glances up at your window, a broad smile on his face. You can’t stop the weightlessness of your heart.

This is bad.

Really bad.

But you can’t bring yourself to mind too much. Not after he kisses you like that.

With a sigh, you turn and get ready for bed.

Bucky

Why is walking to her apartment so difficult? He’s walked home from there plenty of times. He groans in frustration and reaches for his door handle again.

“Just fucking open it, you coward.” He mutters. And yet, his hand hesitates just out of reach. He groans and pulls back, pacing away from the door.

“What are you so afraid of? She’s already seen you without your arm, and she wants to continue seeing you. She wants you to walk her to work.” He says to himself, pacing around his living room.

“And then what? Leave her at the museum while you go back to work and deal with Tony being insufferable? You’re no good for security with just one arm, so Fury makes you stay in the lab. You’re alone all day.” He sighs loudly and smacks his face a few times, trying to get himself together.

“You like being alone, moron. It’s better than having to deal with Sam or see Nat. Definitely don’t wanna see her.” He catches sight of himself in the mirror and points at his reflection.

“Listen here, you little shit. Twenty minutes with Y/N is better than three days without her. Get your ass over there and walk her to work.” He snaps.

He marches over to the door, flings it open, and steps outside. He barely remembers to lock it behind him before he’s off, walking to her apartment before he can chicken out. But with every step, his stomach tightens into a series of knots and he can’t catch his breath.

“Damn it, Y/N, what have you done to me?” He mutters.

Her building comes into sight and it’s like his skin ignites with electricity, nerves ramping higher and higher. He steps up to her door and raises his finger to push her doorbell. His hand is shaking so bad he nearly pushes the wrong one.

“Come on, man, get it together.” He shakes his hand as if that can expel all his nerves and pushes the right buzzer.

“Hello?” Her voice comes over the box and he can’t answer. “Bucky? That better be you.” She says and he smiles, despite his anxiety.

“Yeah. It’s me.” He replies.

“Come on up.” She says, buzzing him in. He pulls the door open and goes inside, her voice echoing in his ears.

He reaches her door and knocks nervously. His hand starts to go to his hair, maybe to flatten it down or fix it, but honestly, what good would it do at this point?

She opens the door in her robe, with a tank top and long pajama pants on underneath, a big cup of coffee in her hand. “Come on in.” She steps back, watching him.

He steps inside, trying to look anywhere but at the gorgeous woman in her pajamas. “You’re not ready yet?” He asks, turning his gaze to her living room. He wanted to be here twenty minutes ago, but now, with her swirling all around him, he just needs to leave. To get this over with.

“I called in sick.” She says, giving a pathetic fake cough.

The knot in his chest loosens and he can breathe a little easier now. “You did?”

“Yeah. I thought we could have breakfast, and then go back to SHIELD and work some more on your arm.” She says with a shrug.

“You did?” He repeats, stunned. She continuously surprises him.

“Is that not okay? I thought that since we haven’t really spent a lot of time together over the last three days that we could now, and under the pretense of a good cause.”

“No! I like that idea. I just wish I had thought of it first.” He says and she laughs, walking passed him into the kitchen, catching his hand in her soft one as she goes.

“Besides, you still owe me for that kiss you withheld. Don’t think I won’t be collecting on that.” She warns and he can’t stop the grin on his face.

“I genuinely can’t wait.” He says as she pushes him into a chair, her hand trailing around his neck.

“Can you use a fork right-handed?” She asks, leaning down close to his ear.

Her perfume clouds around him, seeming to seep into his skin, fogging his brain and he can hardly focus on what she’s saying. All he can picture is pinning her against the wall and kissing her for all he’s worth. “Um, yeah. I got used to it before I got the arm.” He answers nervously.

“Good.” She straightens up and steps back, leaving him feeling empty like he’s missing something.

It’s quiet in her apartment as she moves about the kitchen. He feels pressure on his shoulders, something weighing him down. He gets up and goes to the bar to watch her.

“I’m sorry.” He says after a long minute.

She looks up at him in some surprise as she cracks eggs into a frying pan. “Sorry for what?”

“Avoiding you.”

“I understand, Bucky. Probably better than you might realize. But I want you to know something, okay?” She puts down the spatula and walks around to stand in front of him, easing herself between his knees. She places her hands gently on either side of his face, her skin soft and warm on him. “There is absolutely nothing that you can do, or reveal about your past, or say to me that will make me leave. Do you understand? I don’t care if you have one arm, one eye, and one leg. I’m in this.”

He closes his eyes and nods. “I understand.”

“Promise me, no more secrets.”

“I promise.”

“Good.” Her hands slide down his chest and she grips his shirt, pulling him against her, kissing him deeply. Her lips are soft, sweet on his, and yet so urgent.

He wraps his arm around her, pulling her against him. She pulls back, her beautiful eyes closed as she rests her forehead against his. “I should make breakfast.” She mumbles.

“I’m not done kissing you yet.” He sighs and she chuckles.

“We have time. We can pick up where we left off later.”

“You miss the arm.” He says softly.

“I like the way the hot and cold feels. And I don’t like that you’re uncomfortable.” She pulls back out of his grasp and goes back into the kitchen.

“I’m feeling better.” He shrugs lopsidedly. It mostly has to do with the fact that she’s so accepting of this whole situation.

“Be that as it may,” she pauses and looks up at him with a soft smile.

He sighs and sits back. “Fine. We can finish kissing later.”

She laughs, grabbing a mug out of her cabinet. “Sounds like a plan.” She pouts him some coffee and sets it in front of him. He captures her hand, pulling it to his mouth, kisses her palm, inhaling the scent of her skin. Images of flowers, bright and full and oh so delicate, fill his mind. Peonies and roses and lots of others he didn’t know the names of. Soft pinks and deep purples and bright reds. So vibrant, so alive. He lets her hand slide out of his and his fingers itch to grab a pad of paper, but he doesn’t have his dominant hand.

Maybe she’s right, they need to finish his arm.

He lifts his mug and sips at the coffee, savoring the flavor of it. She hums softly as she cooks in the kitchen and a strange feeling washes over him.

The complete sense of domesticity about this scene. This gorgeous woman that he can’t get enough of, making breakfast for the both of them. The normalcy of it twists in his heart like a knife.

He knows he shouldn’t rush things, should take their time. It hasn’t really been that long in the grand scheme of things. It’s dangerous for her, he’s dangerous.

But he can’t make himself stay away from that look in her eyes when she sees him. Soft and affectionate, not disgusted, not terrified. She treats him just like he’s anyone else. And it’s been so long since anyone has done that.

Even Nat, when she came to see him. She had a hard time looking at him. She stayed across the room the whole time, afraid of him. It’s not her fault. She did what she needed to do for herself, to protect herself and he can’t blame her for that.

A plate sets in front of him and he blinks and looks up.

She’s smiling at him, teasing. “I think I lost you there for a minute.” She says.

“Just thinking. This looks great.” Scrambled eggs with fresh tomatoes and spinach, sausage and toast.

“Just breakfast.” She shrugs, bringing her plate around to sit next to him.

“Well, unless Stevie and I go to a diner for breakfast, mine usually consists of protein bars.”

“That’s boring.” She sighs, digging in.

They eat in comfortable silence. He can’t stop looking at her. The gentle way her hair falls like a curtain between us, the casual way she flips it out of her face. Her cheekbones are a work of art, her long eyelashes laying against her cheeks soft and delicate like a flower. He has a sudden urge to sketch her, to get her lines down perfectly.

“Mmm. That was good.” She hums, scooting her stool back. “I’m gonna jump in the shower really quick.” She carries her plate into the kitchen and sets it in the sink. “Make yourself comfortable.” She presses a kiss to his cheek and heads into her bedroom.

He slowly finishes eating before taking his plate into the kitchen. He draws some hot water and quickly scrubs the dishes, setting them to dry in the dish rack. He settles into her comfortable couch, looking around at all the pictures and artwork in her living room.

There’s a statue sitting on her entertainment center. It’s of a couple waltzing. The woman looks like she’s wearing a flowing dress but the only details visible are at the bottom, her sculpted back looks bare. She has her face tucked into his neck in an intimate moment, a private affair just for them. The rest of their world faded away while they’re in each other’s arms.

Bucky stands up and crosses the room to the statue, picking it up and examining the couple. His finger traces across her back absently.

“Do you like it?” She asks behind him.

He nearly drops it as he turns around. He sets it down carefully so he won’t break it. “Yeah.” He looks up at her in time to see her struggling not to smile.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.” She steps forward and picks up her shoes.

“It’s okay. Ready to go?” He asks, holding her hand as she balances on one foot.

“Yeah. Can we call a cab? It would be quicker.”

“Sure.” He opens her door for her and makes sure to lock it, handing her keys back to her.

Master List

Tag List (to anyone I miss, I’m sorry. If you’d like to be added, send an ask. Strikethrough means I couldn't tag you)

@everythingisoverrated @dsakita @shreddedparchment @bitsandbobsandstuff @after-avenging-hours @alexblrus @thinkingsofamadwoman @i-dont-want-to-be-called @thefridgeismybestie @fortheloveofallthatsholy @crazychaotic @pleasureoftheguiltiestvariety @redstarstan @septic-boye @justreadingfics @themistsofmyavalon @sebastianstanslefteyebrow @wkemeup @thiccbinch @glide-thru @moli1497 @ellaenchanted91 @part-time-patronus @janeyboo @jensensjaredsandmishaslover @thirstybitchqueen @uncledaddykelbo

#some rules are never meant to be broken #Bucky Barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barns x reader #paramedic!bucky #marvel #romance #mermaidxatxheart #writing is hard

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